“God” I prayed one afternoon when I was fifteen, “I’m going inside to kill myself. If you love me, stop me.” How did I get to that point? I’m not sure, but there were many enemies that accompanied me along the way- loneliness, depression, fear. Depression, especially, had been with me for a long time. It wasn’t that I didn’t know God. I did. So why was depression weighing on me so heavily? First, I had to find the answers to these questions to get to the reasons why I live.
Recently, I wrote about my struggles with anxiety, and how Bible verses about mental health help me deal with it. I described how being anxious affected my driving and how calming myself with scripture really did help. Although I didn’t sit down and do a scripture search on depression until now, a couple of things in the Bible did jump out at me. If you’re a new believer or have never read the Bible, you might be wondering, “What does the Bible say about mental health?” The answer: more than you think. Here are some passages that are really helping me see things differently in my struggles with depression.
The story of the prophet Elijah in I Kings 18 and 19, and Psalm 118:17 both really speak to me on this topic. Elijah was so exhausted and afraid after fleeing from the evil Jezebel that depression overtook him and he begged for God to take his life. That’s pretty heavy stuff, but it comforts me to see how God ministered to Elijah’s needs. Instead of beating Elijah over the head for being depressed, God let him rest and sent an ANGEL to bring him food and water! Is that cool or what?
Later in life, at age twenty-two, I would actually make an attempt on my life. During the months after that, when I was desperately trying to find a reason for living, I came across Psalm 118:17: “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord (KJV).” That became my new purpose statement, and it has really helped remind me why I’m here. I am here because God is good, even when I don’t feel good. I am here because He has good plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11). I am here because He has a message that He wants to convey, and no one can tell that message quite the way I can. (And no one can share it quite the way you can, either!)
As I headed inside that day when I was fifteen, I hadn’t gone far when the wet nose of my energetic puppy, Danny-boy, assaulted my senses and his playful bark distracted me from my morbid thoughts. Some people would say it was a coincidence, but I know better. While I wouldn’t suggest putting God to the test like I did that day, He used one of His creatures to minister to me and keep me going one more day. No, it wasn’t the last time the thoughts would plague me, but I’m still here. If you’re struggling like I was, please get help. I did. And on the flip side of depression and suicidal thoughts are the promises of God’s word to those who love Him. Here’s just one of them- “You will show me the path of life. In Your presence is fullness of joy. At your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” – Psalm 16:11
Jessica Seale is a writer and a caregiver from rural Tennessee who wants to encourage others through her blog Beautifully Broken. It is a place where she shares what she’s learned about brokenness and inspires others to look at it differently.
Finding our identity in Christ keeps us on solid ground. God gives meaning and purpose to life. A Hope Coach is here to talk about faith and purpose with you.
If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.
