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My Ex Won’t Leave Me Alone! Steps to Take

Cutting the Cord: How to Deal With a Persistent Ex

Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard to do. But it’s even more difficult when your ex won’t leave you alone after the breakup. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won’t let go. Either they want to get back together with you, or they are just trying to get back at you.

When they don’t get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel.

Clarify the Message that the Relationship is Over

When they don’t get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel. Try not to approach this difficult issue when you’re frustrated or angry. However, the more clear and direct you can be, the better. But remember, always be kind. Sooner or later, your ex will get the message.

Clarify the Boundaries

It is important to establish boundaries for yourself. While you’re working on letting things cool down between you and your ex, try to avoid places and situations where you know he/she might be. If it gets to a point where you are continually made to feel uncomfortable, it might become necessary to talk directly to him/her again. Be prepared to say exactly what he/she is doing and how it makes you feel.

You might even want to take a friend with you when you talk to him/her. You need to be confident in this situation, as your ex might be looking for hope that you want to get back together. This is the time to be firm because you really want them to get the message. This is not the time or argue or fight. You are merely communicating your boundaries.

You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody.

Get Back into a Relationship with an Ex?

You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody. This is especially true if you have been sexual with each other, or you feel sorry for the other person. If you have one or two close friends, tell them why you are breaking up with your ex and ask them to remind you why you broke up when you start thinking about getting back together again.

Listen to my call with Vanessa who’s pregnant and still has feelings for her baby’s father who cheated on her and pulled a knife on her mom.

I also talked to Ty who says: My bf is an alcoholic, drug abuser and other things. But I don’t know how to break up with him because every time I try to he gets VERY suicidal. I have to stay with him but I can’t because it hurts me too much seeing him like this. I asked him to stop drinking and he said he would, but he hasn’t, and I’m afraid that if he keeps doing this it’s going to get to where he might hurt me.

Act Like an Adult and Firmly End It

Kalya says it’s been three months since she left her boyfriend and he continues to provoke her. Her advice is priceless: When it’s time to let go, do it, there can be no comparing or second-guessing, it just has to be done, especially if you are unhappy and worry all the time. You should not have to babysit your lover.

By communicating firmly and directly, you are acting like an adult. This kind of behavior will lead your ex to increase their respect for you, and finally get the message that you are no longer interested in having a relationship with them. 

Are You in Danger From Your Stalking Ex?

If you feel like your situation is dangerous, please tell someone…a parent, trusted advisor, principal, friend or even the police. Sometimes serious measures must be taken to free yourself from a troubled ex. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Listen to my call with Candice. The father of Candice’s son hit her mom and won’t leave her alone. She has a restraining order against him but he keeps trying to come to her house and he’s called her over 200 times in the past month.

Be Strong

You don’t need to face this struggle alone.  God promises that He is with us and will help us whatever the struggle.  He tells us to be strong and not afraid because HE IS WITH US.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Don’t back down from what you know is right for you. Ask God to give you the strength you need.

  1. Im with someone who keeps messing around their ex,often doing so in chats on xbox and its getting to me badly. I don’t know if i can be around someone like this anymore. She claims i’m jealous but i’m really not. How she carelessly flaunts total disregard to my feelings leaves me feeling suicidal. This woman doesn’t know how much shes hurting me. What hurts worse is she truly believes she did nothing wrong. What gives? I’m not friendly with my ex. A closed relationship should stay forgotten. Why does she do this to me?

    • Im gonna give you the best advice. You gotta be a man about this and dont allow your feelings to make you weak. Don’t let your GF take advantage of you like this. Let her know your angry.
      People do what you let them do, if your too kind and considerate to her she will walk all over you and lose respect for you.
      Put down the law no before its to late, dont be really sweet and make exceptions for her because in the long run that will mess the relation ship up more!

    • She sounds like a classic narccisist to me. My best advice is to look into the disorder/arm yourself with knowledge and fill your life with positive activities/people. Good luck.

  2. What do you do when your ex boyfriend is trying to end your current relationship but he says he doesn’t care about you and he has a girlfriend so I don’t understand why he still bothers me and calls me when he wants to have sex

    • It’s just a use move. Sex doesn’t equal love. You deserve better.

    • wait a minute. So you have gone back to him for sex while you were in the current relationship? Messed up.

  3. It’s been a year of NO contact, restraining orders,police reports,quitting my job,moving to another county,blocking him on social media,my phone,my email (and he keeps creating ways) My ex won’t leave me alone and shows up at my family’s houses,trying to find me and get them to relay messages to me. Nothing like a narcissistic sociopath with a history of domestic abuse that believes God speaks directly to him! I’m sorry but uhm the last time my head was slammed into the floor and exorcism rites were hollered at me by a 320lb Christian extremists was more than enough reason never to “talk as friends ” to that dude again! My ribs have barely healed and I like them not hurting!

  4. My ex constantly messes with me, & I can’t stop it. I’ve tried being nice. I broke up w/ him w/o sexual activities. I will be on my way to class and get stopped by him. He calls me everything he can think of and I end up cussing him out telling him to leave me alone & it never works. Especially after school w/ his childish friends. I’m sick of it. He knows the relationship is over. & some of my other friends say he is trying to get w/ them so obviously he doesn’t want me back. I’ve been there done that w/ him too many times. I’ve cussed him out that’s the only thing I can do & he just laughs.

    • He’s doing his best to toy with you; calls himself getting back at you- why else would he target your friends? He likes when or if you cuss him out. My ex is the same way but I have kids by him so I have learned to just keep it about them and nothing more. If you haven’t already, I would suggest ignoring him. You have better things to do and you arebetter off than him.

  5. Hi! I’m in a bust right now. I broke up with my ex 5 months ago, and I have a boyfriend now. My ex won’t leave my boyfriend alone! What do I do?

  6. I personally do not think this is the best advice. It’s decent advice if a person is dealing with someone who is clear minded or rational thinker. I just went through a break up with a guy who was controlling, manipulative, and abusive. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. He thought of me as his. I was as clear as this article suggested with no results. A person obsessed or experiencing mental illness is not going to adhere to someone being clear or direct. If the person didn’t respect what you had to say when together they still won’t care what you have to say once you want to be done with them. Sometimes it is best to get a restraining order or pfa against someone who won’t take no for an answer; after all that is considered harrassment.

  7. This is a sad scenario. One of the number one reasons why it is so deeply important to pray always when seeking a mate. If we would consider one another as souls, valuable beyond comprehension in the eyes of God, we would find true success in the command Jesus gives to us to “love one another as I have loved you.” I believe we would be able to see beyond the failures and deeply sinful behavior of others and feel compassion. I have seen many suffer not only as a result of other’s sins, but as a result of their response to that sin and all subsequent behavior. The real trouble comes when people begin to disbelieve in the existence of sin, or perhaps they never did to begin with. If we cannot see our own sick deficiencies, how are we ever to reslove them? Sad world in which we live.

  8. I must have “SUPPORT FOR HEAD CASES” written on my forehead because my ex just won’t quit calling me. I have his number blocked, but all that does is automatically hang up the phone and it doesn’t prevent him from leaving 25 voicemails. And while I don’t get a notification when he does, he can still text me. In his voicemails he gets angry and says that I’m the reason he is always in the hospital and that I’m the reason he “dislocated his arm” which I really don’t believe is true. I broke up with him like 2 almost 3 months ago and he still won’t leave me alone. I even told him that I am not his personal therapist and to delete my number and when I did, he leaves a voice mail saying “DON’T EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN EVER. IF YOU HAVE THIS ATTITUDE WITH ME I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE A GOOD SCHOOL
    YEAR.” And then the voicemails stopped for a while. This time, they’re sad. He keeps saying that he misses me and that I’m an awesome person and that he wants to be in my life except I DON’T WANT HIM IN MINE WHATSOEVER. I wish it could be like I never met him.

    • Whatever you do, do not reply to his vm…. he will find another eventually

  9. My ex thinks he’s doing right by having two girls at the same time.. he manipulates situation. He acts like he is going to kill him self, but then doesn’t. He broke into my house and stole my laptop and other things like that . And movie tickets. He has a problem not to mention he is really sick in the head.

    • Put a restaing order against him.

  10. He’s just trying to end your current relationship so you could fall back just for a use. Dont fall for it !

  11. My gf won’t leave me alone she doesn’t want to leave I’ve told her it’s over multiple times but she just won’t leave she keeps saying she won’t go she’s becoming very violent and I don’t know what to do I don’t want to use violence and she won’t listen to me when I try to speak calmly to her much less she won’t take me seriously when I say to her I don’t want to be in that relationship with her anymore and i wished she would leave and let me be but she won’t go what do I do?

    • file a restraining order, if she comes near you call the police and theyll throw her in prison

    • Is this mainly texting or physically talking?

  12. I am going through hell i have ended a really unhappy relationship with my ex partner who i have 3 children with, he has left the family home but will not stop texting me and ringing his children asking why i am doing this to him , he as even threatened suicide i just do not want to go back there any suggestions what to do ?

    • Talk with a professional about this, this is not only messing with your mind body and soul, but your children as well. Their should be local support groups in your area. Try Anon, check local meet up groups, find a local Pastor, community center. As a parent make sure your children emotional needs are secure and protected. Don’t bad mouth their father, it will only bring confusion to their young minds, and could permanently damage them. Just protect the children . Find the support.

  13. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend . The thing is he won’t leave me . He just keep text me . He wants to be friends and maybe get back together. What should I do ????

    • Kindly but firmly reply Thank you, but I do not want to be friends, need to move forward with life for me and myself alone. Please do not contact me anymore. After stating something like this. Just leave it alone. Do not reply to any more texts at all. He should get the hint.
      Hope this helps some.

  14. My situation is a little different. My bf broke up with me so he could see other people and “be single”. But he would still constantly call and text to see how I was and tell me he loved me & then after I’d agree to talk to him, he’d say he didnt want a relationship. So, I decided to change my number. He started showing up near my work and my dr office saying he couldnt live without me. So I quit, and I don’t visit my dr anymore unless it’s urgent, I changed my email and got rid of all my social media. Somehow his friend (or him) found my new number and I started getting calls from his friend, then him..but they’re always hang ups. I have been really direct and even mean with him, telling him he’s a loser and I don’t want him in my life and to delete my number, but that just seems to encourage him. I don’t know what to do other than change my number again but that caused me problems last time, losing touch with friends and work people not being able to reach me, ect. What do I do?It’s been 4 years!!!

    • Oh wow, that’s definitely stalking. Hopefully he’s gotten the message you don’t want him in your life whatsoever within the month since you’ve poster this. But if not, you should go to the police. They would probably suggest you get a restraining order (that includes all forms of contact). He might just need some more serious form of punishment.

  15. I agree. I don’t think that people who keep calling/texting after you break up with them and tell them clearly that it’s over are clear-minded and rational, so you can’t really sit down with them and talk calmly. You just have to do it in no uncertain terms and be mean if you have to. Not violent, just totally honest. My ex confused honesty with me being mean all the time – i would hear “why do you have to be ugly with me” and i’d say, i’m not being ugly, just honest, and you need to learn the difference.” I got so sick of the same crap all the time, day in & day out. I ended it last weekend in a way I thought was definitive but obviously it wasn’t because i get a text later, “I’m sorry you hate me” (what this really means is i hate myself) and today congrats that my favorite team won. Sorry excuses just like during the whole relationship.

  17. My ex from when I was a freshmen in high school ( I’m 21 now) hasn’t stopped trying to get in contact with me. They try to find me on Facebook, my number, or any socia media app or anything. When I was a senior in high school he tried to get back together when I replied to a message but I had to stop the contact because he was becoming very controlling and demanding we get together. I blocked his number and never heard from him. However He has shown up to my home three times before. He showed up randomly at my door step 3 years without contacting each other. It’s honestly scaring me. He knows his number is blocked so he tries to reach me through other media. I’ve constantly told him to leave me alone because he DEMANDS we get back together. We dated for 6 months freshmen year in high school and we broke up because he was very controlling and emotionally abusive. I have no idea what to do now.

  18. What do you do when you can’t marry the person you loved for 3years but then the person who you’ve been arranged to marry to, is just as amazing and loving and you’ve fallen in love with him and want to be with him but the ex boyfriend won’t stop emailing you and threatens that he will destroy you for breaking his heart..

  20. Hi! I have a bit of a similar situation here. But the problem is, my ex keeps contacting me even after 5 months! We dated for a few months last spring and ended things last summer. The break-up itself went ok – but we did the break-up on skype because we live in different countries since June, me in Sweden him in Canada. We both knew that we were gonna live in different countries so on, so he suggested that we stay friends. Because I knew that it would mean to just not cut off completely and staying in contact I thought about giving it a shot (anyways we would not be seeing each other physically because of the distance.) A month later it started to feel weird for me to still be in contact with him a few times a week (plus during the “friend-time” he sent me a long hand-written letter calling me ‘honey’ and ‘sweetie’, saying that he misses me and thinks about me every day and reminiscing our time together. Seriously?!) so I decided that I want to end this for good. Would maybe have done it in person if we had been living in the same city but since we live in different continents, I thought that a fb message can do it.
    So, in the end of August I wrote him on fb that being in contact with him has started to feel weird, that the idea of staying friends with an ex doesn’t seem to work in this case and that I don’t feel that I can fully move on if we’re still in contact with each other – even as friends. I was honest and straightforward in my message but also polite and calm. The next day he sent me 37 fb messages ranting how this is a wrong decision to make, that I’m immature and all in all just insulting me. The following day he wrote me “whoa, I was drunk yesterday.” I blocked him on fb a week later because he really started scaring me off. During the past 4 months he has sent me 2 e-mails, 1 parcel which contained a hand-written letter and 2 jars of honey (another seriously?!), 1 holiday card and yet another letter, this time with pictures of us. I haven’t replied to him by any means (I also blocked his e-mail address) because I thought that me being straightforward in my fb message of August would be enough and because he scares me and I don’t want to be in contact with him at all. I thought that me not replying to him would give him the hint. I’ve been told that he’ll eventually stop contacting me but it’s already been 5 months and he doesn’t seem to stop. He doesn’t have my phone number and we luckily live really far from each other so I know that things could be worse. But this still bugs me and I don’t know whether me moving to a new place at some point would be the only solution since my postal address is the only way that he still can reach me out.
    Any suggestions?

    • Return to sender! You don’t have to say anything at all. Next time the post comes with something from him, have it returned to him!

  21. I have an ex boyfriend, I not only go to the same school as him but we both work in the same work force. I broke things off with him, when I realized that I knew him by lies. He is sexist, racist, homophobic, bias, self-centered. He was trying to control what I do when I do it and who all i hung out with. He kept throwing racist comments non stop. When at work or school he never let me be myself. I have a few family members that I care about that are gay and he would try to make me stop talking to them, i was never a low to spend a minute alone without having to message him or he would snap. Every time I tell him to stop, i need my space, or anything to that nature he would start screaming provanity and attacking the closest thing to him. I was honestly afraid of him. He was bringing back bad memories of my childhood when I lived with my birth father. The only way I was able to break up with him was through message, so he wouldn’t interrupt me.after work one day, we were both schedule the same shift, he tried to force himself on me in the parking lot. I was being resistant. At school the next 5 months he started spreading rumors around about me, saying that I was a slur, a whore, a bitch, and so on. Everyone who knows me knew they were just that. Rumors, I’m still a virgin. Now he’s starting the rumors up again starting at work now. He’s telling people that we did it when we haven’t. Both myself, our managers, principal, school counselor, my friends, my family, and his friends have told him to stop repeatedly. But he doesn’t listen.

  22. Thanks for reaching out for help. Sounds like this relationship is really toxic for both of you. At TheHopeLine you can chat with a trained HopeCoach about your situation and come to some healthy solutions for both you and your son. All chats are free and confidential. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Even though your son might miss her, he is also learning an unhealthy relationship pattern by observing the two of you.

  23. Hello!
    So I was in an relationship with a guy for 6 years. We lived together most of this time. I broke up 6 months and half ago because we’re from different countries and have very different future life plans (I want to move to another country and he has other plans for himself which he is not willing to sacrifice). Before breaking up I tried to adapt to his lifestyle by moving back to his country (where we had always lived together) and do my life there but that’s not what I want for me mainly because I didn’t feel he was committing (he finished school 2 years ago and only plays music-his passion) whereas I am at a totally different stage of my life trying to have a good career and want to build a family in the future. After the breakup (which happened at long distance by text- I know really bad!) he tried to get back together. After that I did try to get back but he didn’t want at the time – which now I see as something right to do (although I am still in the acceptance phase I am pretty sure this is the right thing to do!). Anyway, throughout these months he has always contacted me! and I am really trying to move forward because I have redeemed myself for breaking up (tried to talk to him several times on the phone only which he never accepted) but I am not going to humiliate myself and besides I was always the one to sacrifice everything and he never sacrificed anything for me! In any case, he has always contacted me every week (or sometimes more than that) throughout the months through links and stupid sentences like (You will always be everything for me…) but never accepted talking. While I accepted that he didn’t want to talk and I have decided to move forward (I took him out of social media etc. and even met someone very interesting) he keeps contacting me! I already told me not to contact me which didn’t help… he keeps liking my family pics on facebook all the time, commenting these pics with hearts for example, last week he tried to call me (for the first time!), he asked me if he could call me on sunday which I said ‘sure’ – he never called – and 2 days ago he sent me a message saying he saw a couple fighting and that reminded him of us, that he couldn’t understand how we got to this point and that’s life and that I would always be everything for him that he never did and never will love someone like he loved me (he says this kind of things for months!) and I am sick of this… I don’t know what his purpose is… I am avoiding blocking him on facebook because one the one hand I don’t want to give him that much importance and on the other hand we did live a lot together… In any case, this last message he sent me set me back on the process (because although I accept this is for the best, that last message made me start thinking of him again grrrr…). Anyway I know I don’t want him unless he commits which will never happen… What are your suggestions about what I should do regarding this (i ignore him all the time and he keeps liking my family pics and sending me msgs and already told him not to contact me which made him contact me even more)? Thank you for your help and cheers!

    • I’m going through something very similar and I understand not wanting to block him. If you’ve unfriended him, you can change your privacy settings so only friends can see your page, comment on your things, or message you. On your phone, set him a custom ring tone that is silent, or mute his text message thread. You’ll still get all the phone messages but can choose whether or not to respond when you have the time. Best of luck to you!

  24. My ex and I broke up over two months ago but he still texts me, and I can’t stop him because I don’t have the option to block his number with my phone. He doesn’t want to get back together or anything its just a constant stream of abuse, accusing me of leaving him for someone else, calling me names, etc. I’ve tried to make him stop by telling him to but he ignored it, so I’ve been ignoring him for a month. He called me a hundred and sixteen times in twenty minutes just so he could tell me to__ off… I don’t know what to do?!

  26. My Ex and I broke up a while ago. It got to the point where I found myself fantasizing about being away from her and being with other people. Feeling the way I felt after wrestling with my emotion for a few month I told her it wasn’t working. She did nothing wrong other than annoy and ridicule me for the little things. I found myself starting to resent her so i gather my strength and belongings and I bounced. The whole while I was gone she contacted me everyday two or three times a day telling me about her day and life and I felt like “why are you bothering me I don’t care.” she tricked me good said she was moving on and that she just wanted to be friends and that she found someone else. She said she was going to move and that she wanted me to take over her lease just incase it didnt work out. I was like its a win win cause i needed a place to stay. All of a sudden after moving in she breaks it off with dude and tells me she wants to try a relationship with me again. 4 months later im cohabitating with my ex and she is driving me crazy. she found condoms in my coat and then starts going in on me like im cheating on her, but were not together and i tell her that every time she tries to be possessive of my time. the truth is i need to move but easier said then done i just want my life back any suggestions? anyone in the same position ?

  27. Emma- These are great ideas! Thanks for sharing them here.

  28. My ex won’t leave me alone. We broke up back in 2012 and had stopped talking until about a year ago. Then he decided to bug me. Asking me questions about my life and such. It got really ugly really fast. He keeps insulting me and refuses to respect the fact that I’m in a relationship. I’ve told him countless times to leave me alone and stop contacting me but he does it anyways and says he “can’t understand why I get so upset” at one point even my boyfriend told him to f* off but he’s still not listening and I’m becoming more and more frustrated and I don’t know what to do because he’s not hurting me and he’s not threatening me he just won’t leave me alone.

    • 3 years? Thats a weird time to suddenly start talking again. Maybe try talking to him because something is up and you can come to and ending that works for both of you.

    • 3 years? thats a weird time to start talking again. did something happen? maybe something came up? try talking to him and maybe you can work out a peaceful ending

  29. Hi ive been broken up with my ex since 2013 dec. And weve pretty much been on and off most of the time and since our break up just about the same… but he was in a relationship. It wasnt until i got pregnant that i found out and i aborted the baby… still dea
    Ing with that hurts, since i used to feel that was opposed to my beliefs. Ill admit since our break tho, there hasnt been a year that has passed that we wasnt sexual at least once. I loved him i guess and maybe im struggling to let go but make many attempts. Eveytime im almost not ever thinkin of him he pops back up. The last time we were invovled was in January of this year. After realizing i was once again making a mistake. I decided to end things again… i ultimately feel, amongst other things, were just all around toxic for each other. Now he just stopped by after i told him not to come around anymore for the thousandth time. And there we were back and forth arguing for a half hour about why i want nothing to do with him. He tried coming on to me, but his true colors always show. Eventually he left but in my heart i feel like he will be back. I dont want to get the authorities involved. But truly i want to move on and be done with him. We have no children toghether or any other ties, but whenever he has no one to talk to just wants to have sex he comes around. I cant take it anymore and dont know what to do…..

    • It sounds like you have been on a wild roller coaster ride and you are ready to get off the ride. It will take courage, but you sound like you are ready to do it. We can help you brainstorm some ideas for setting boundaries with him. Chat with us online anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ You can do this!

  30. I broke up with my ex a year ago. we only stopped talking a few months ago as I got fed up entertaining her since I wasn’t ever truly invested in being friends with her (she almost always reached out first and often bombarded me with texts$. it confused me sometimes because being around her made me think I still loved her, but when I was away I enjoyed my life without her and meeting new women. she still contacts me on occasion and though I never respond, will she give up and just move on? I don’t want to be harsh to her but I’ve moved on and don’t see it important to be her friend.

    • By not wanting to be harsh you cause more pain in her. Be harsh. Tell her the truth, honestly, respectfully. Cut through the wound like a surgeon so that she can heal. I know what I am talking about. I am in her situation, and I’d rather have to deal with the naked truth. Dumpers, don’t try to protect the dumpee. They have to face their own pain: it is the only way for them to grow.

  31. Been divorced 3 years my ex keeps calling me I have a girlfriend my ex is remarried why does she keep calling me?

  32. I broke up with my ex over a year ago. I was with him for around 3 years. I tried for the longest time to break up with him. I finally was able to only with the help of my best friend. She broke up with him for me over the phone. Till this day he still contacts me. I can not get away from him. I blocked his numbers, so then he blocked his number so he can call me. He leaves voicemails. He tried to contact me through social media. I blocked his profiles on fb, twitter etc, so in return he creates fake profiles. He contacts my friends, he has even contacted someone I was dating and now my current boyfriend. I’ve ignored everything but I’m tried of running, it’s not fair. It’s getting to the point were I probably need to change my number and look into contacting the police. I shouldn’t have to do any of this. I don’t want to deal with this the rest of my life. But I have a gut feeling I will. I fear one day he’ll show up in person. He’ll try and stop me from getting married or something. It’s tiring. I need advice. Support. I need a miracle.

    • “She broke up for me over the phone” . Wow. So much disrespect for your ex that you weren’t even able to talk to him! Why do you do that to someone you loved? How can he get any closure? Call him and speak to him, explain that you don’t want to be with him, that you don’t love him anymore. Tell him whatever you want. But talk to him!

    • I know exactly what you are going through and unfortunately have no good advice but to stay strong! I broke up with my boyfriend 5 months ago and he has continued to find ways to contact me! He has even resorted to messaging me through fitbit! I know how tiring it is and how stressful it can be. It’s not about you, it is all about them because if they ever really did care they would take our feelings into account and respect our decision and move on! Good Luck!

    • I going thru the exact same thing. I keep wondering if this is going to go on for the rest of my life. If I found someone and wanted to get married and he found out would he try to do something stupid. He almost got me fired from my job once. He said he was pissed at me because I was ignoring his texts and calls so he wanted to get back at me. He does that kind of stuff yet is wanting me to get back with him. I’m mean really?

  33. I broke it off with my ex 8 months ago he yt?has popped up riding around my house n for past few months leaving letters n flowers on car or front porch I’m getting worried because it’s becoming more n more n i told him I’m over him he wants another chance he even went as far as sitting next to me in the church I attend n joining a men’s group I have informed the pastor’s wife about this I told him over n over I don’t trust him or wanna be in a relationship anymore he doesn’t get it .

    • I have been dumped 9 month ago via email and I am still hoping my ex would take me back because after I started messaging a couple months ago she never told me “you are losing your time and making me feel nervous. I don’t want to get back with you, it’s over. Deal with it”
      Instead she simply remains silent. Sometimes she texts back after a few days, telling me news and ending with xxxxx and hugs. But most of the time she does not reply, leaving me sad and anxious.
      So people, when you dump someone do it properly, not via text or e-mail, be straightforward and honest. You have the right not to want with that person, but they deserve to be treated fairly. Just be honest, express your feelings or lack of feelings in the clearest possible way so as to leave no hope, no gray area, no stone unturned.
      I suggest the following example. If I was to receive this, everything would be crystal clear and I would stop texting my ex.
      “I want you to understand that I will never get back with you. I ended our relationship because it was not working for me. I do not want to give you a second chance. I am not interested. We are not made for each other. We had good times but it is the past. Don’t ruin those memories. I am asking you to stop contacting me. If you cannot understand this, you suffer from codependency. You should seek help. But your problems are none of my business. Forget your childish dreams, be an adult. I will not be with you ever again.”

      • Someone not reciprocating your love should be good enough not to want that relationship.
        Have self respect.

        • Good response i think you should live by that motto

  34. My ex and his new gf wont leave me alone iv tried to get his mum to speak to him and leave me alone but they r now saying I’m hassling them and r going police when its them who doing the hassling They show up where every I am even come to my street when know they don’t live anywhere nere me and now his gf keeps message me on facebook I know the police will laugh at them cause all I been saying is leave me alone as I’m getting on with my life but getting to point where it not only stress me out but my family as well non of us of who r please about him hassling me

  35. Hi all,
    I feel harassed by my exes constant calls- i definetely wish to change numbers but scared that he may come storming home to fight-whcih has happened in the past in front of neighbours ehich ended up with the cops filing FIR. But wI wnt back to him as he swore to end his drinking and staying out until next morning habits. To this day it hasn’t changed although I left him and year ago. He constanlty calls me despite the fact I have a restraining order and he says he is not afraid. He will screw my life. The biggest reason I left him was because he verbally abused my mom over the phone to me with gory words-de didnot even apologise and says thats besides the point as I had”neutralised” it by reacting legally. Pls helpe me I dislike his character his behaviour everything and though I feel for him at times that there were a few good times where he showered me with fruits and food as his way of investing time I wish for him to leave me alone FOREVER. Can you help me take my next step.

  36. Look as someone who has been dumped by someone I loved and went out with for five years the reason people get like this is often just because they miss your company not the relationship, because the connection they had with you felt so strong that to end in such a sudden way makes them doubt their ability to connect or trust people and friends to stick by them and help them through thick and thin. Some people in long term relationships just take it for granted after a certain while that the friendship they’ve built up with that person is enough to last the rest of their lives regardless of whether the relationship ends. The reason people get crazy like this is often just that they don’t feel respected or listened to just as you don’t feel respected by them contacting you too often. The sad reality is that you both probably have a world of respect for one another. I think everyone has a responsibility to someone to end things in a way that both parties are as happy as possible, no you shouldnt waste months on it if you do want to move on and cut ties thats your choice and should be respected and you don’t have a responsibility to continuinly help that person if you’ve been kind and clear, bearing in mind that the first six months or so there should be little contact and any that happens will probably be messy(and that’s no ones fault) but if it continues to be such a problem why not a give a day up to talk to this person who you loved and should still trust in a cafe? There is so much difference between saying its over get over it and blocking someone and sitting down with someone remminising cathching up wishing them the best and making your mind up about whether or not to stay friends and then saying you know what this is too difficult for me but I wish it wasn’t and I think your’e a great guy/girl. I don’t get this pre-emptive protective stuff, if you went out with the person for such a long time then chances are you’ll always get along now or in fifty years time why are people so keen to forget this and so quick not to give friendship a chance, sure there’s a lot of ways it couldn’t work but there’s alot of ways it could.

  37. Vidhya, We can help your through this and help you take the next step to move on from this relationship. Please chat online with one of our HopeCoaches as soon as you can. You can chat with a HopeCoach anytime…day or night at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  38. Hi. Im kid who is scared of my sisters ex. She broke up with him because he used her for money but he keeps threatening my sister saying stuff like “If you don’t come back to me, I will kill/harm your family” Its terrifying and I hate how I have to listen to my sister argue with him on the phone everyday. Hes constantly stalking her and won’t leave her alone. I don’t want this to keep happening in my life. When I see somebody that looks like him I get panic attacks. I cannot sleep at night either.. :/ please help me I don’t want this to go on.

  39. My fiancé and I are almost 8 months pregnant and his ex girlfriend (who has a boyfriend of her own) still contacts him after telling her to stop over the last 8 month’s! It’s making me very unhappy to be in a relationship with him with a baby on the way. He keeps saying he’ll handle the situation and he hasn’t been able to do so I. 8 months short or changing his number. He said a month ago that the next she contacts him he is going to change his number. It’s been a month and he’s still saying that but hasn’t done it because of work, friends and family. But I don’t want to marry him and raise our child with him if she’s not going to respect our wishes and get it through her thick skull that they are no longer apart of each other’s lives! He’s with me and she’s with someone new as well! I’m doing being angry! Now I’m just hurting and crying helplessly feeling hopeless and worthless!

    • Why do you say “we” are pregnant? Are you not aware you cannot get pregnant for your bf?

  40. This is really serious. Has your family done anything to make sure you are all protected? When you feel scared please chat with us – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  41. If anyone could offer me some advice or help I’d be so grateful. Over 6 months ago I broke up with my ex and since then I have had an absolute onslought of abuse threats and threats to ruin my life. He’s gone way beyond what is normal. He’s derranged and its left me wanting to kill myself just to get away from him. From dawn to dusk I’ve had phone calls texts messages anserphone messages. He breaks me down completely then builds me back up with the I love yous no one gets u but me etc your my one I’ll never let you go etc. About a month ago I made a terrible mistake of going back there…..before you judge believe me I know how stupid that was but this person has abused me in every single way you can think of…. Without the physical or sexual violence. I’ve never been so bullied in all my life. He’s got a hold over me because he’s threatening to post extremely personal messages to the world….publicly on Fb….which I have had to delete. To all my friends to anyone he thinks I may be with. I’m single but he’s been on a one man mission to try to find out everything about my life. I have even involved the police and that hasn’t helped. He will never leave me alone and I can’t move away from the town I live in. I can’t live like this anymore and I am close to taking my own life. I literally can’t live with this hanging over me. He will never stop. Please help 😢

    • Same story. I’m going tho’ with girl. And her x bf

    • I really hope you managed to get threw your hard time with your ex?
      Iv only just registered to this site so if u still want to talk I been in same bout x

    • Sue him take him to court so the judge can put a order for him to not contact or get close to you.

    • That sounds like classic Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Those can be dangerous (not ever single one), however, I don’t want you to take that chance.
      Contact the local police, get the records and logs, give it to them, after it’s filed, get a restraining order put on his head, then open a FBI case against him, just in case he follows you across state lines or sends something to follow or do worse.

  42. HI. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend. The reason was he cheated on me six months ago and I thought I forgave him but everything got really messy. I began to feel jealousy I never felt before, lack of confidence and went under massive depression. He obviously got affected by all of it and we decided to break up and we have been going to counseling. However, we haven´t stopped seeing each other and even as much as we try, something comes up and we need to see each other again. I really want to heal and move on and if he is the one, everything will change and he will come back renewed, but if not, he will never do. How can I deal with this?

  43. This article may be old but I’m airing out my own story too. Hopefully it can help others. For me, dated a chinese girl for 3 years and it was I that wanted OUT. What I find very annoying right now is that she won’t leave me alone! Hate that. She says one thing then does another thing. For instance today she’s had it and also thinks we should break up but tomorrow she texts me cute stuff via WeChat (Chinese version of WhatsApp). She’s really not doing herself a favor here. She doesn’t realise that the more she keeps coming back the more I actually start to think she’s crazy and feel less attracted to her. If you’re this type of person, please learn to let go. Don’t be an idiot.

    • I have an ex like that who says one thing then another too. He was from Alexandria. One day he says I wasted his time , be littled me and he will never speak to me again, and then the next day he bothers me on WhatsApp says he wants to talk and how he wants me. Everything was good at first then I saw his true colors emerge and I tried to stick by him no matter what, it was stressing me out how he act crazy and I broke up with him. I actually had to delete my whatsapp and tell my friends and family to contact me on another message app. If he had one hope that I ever go back, no way, I don’t do crazy , because he is crazy.I have thought about changing my number because the mood swings are annoying and my ex calls at all hours.If I were you, I would not answer your ex anymore and block her.

    • Omg I’ll admit bcuz am jus like dat but every time I stop he keeps coming back and it jus really annoys me dat he won’t leave me alone but the only reason I go back is bcuz I jus want him to stop bothering me

    • Some people can’t let go, they’re that messed up. In some cases, those people may think you’re the messed up one and not them.
      People with personality disorder tend to display what you’re talking about.

  44. I’ve told her I was no longer interested but she keeps texting me acting like we’re still dating

    • U found her post..?

    • That’s called magical thinking, she’s mentally ill. Block her!

  45. My sister has been with the same man for 6 years. They have been through hell and back. Stuck together through all of it, okay maybe not as smoothly has I would have liked. I hear it all and they try to catch me up in it when they fight and argue. Anyway, her man, left for about 3 weeks. No phone call, nothing. I was with her through this whole three weeks and it was a nightmare. When she is just about there and can finally let go, here he comes back home. (House is leased in both of their names, neither can afford to leave) My sister can now, I will be roommate. He has found a girlfriend, oh yeah, my sister is 52 and he is 50, his girlfriend is 21 maybe. She can’t buy beer, so 20. He brings her to the house and my sister goes nuts, sneaks her in when my sis is at work, brings her to where I work. I can’t stand the girl, she is a heroine addict and has a mouth like a common streetwalker, sorry didn’t mean to bring down streetwalkers, her mouth is the worse I have ever heard. My sister almost got arrested for going after the girl, when she came with him and she said some stuff you can’t say to a woman in her own home. The police say he can have anyone over that he wants to, told my sister, just look at it like this, he has a newer style car and traded in the old car. My sister had to walk away from the officer as well his partner shook his head and walked away too. They will not stop him from letting that tramp come to my sisters home, cause he is on the lease. My sister just wants peace, but I know she still loves him, he just uses her for money and a nice place to lay his head, never paid a damn thing on that house. How can I help her get over this jerk? I told him about himself one time and he hit me in the head with a wine glass I went to the hospital and nothing happened to him. He said he was defending himself from what? words?

  46. My ex and I broke up almost 6 months ago. We had been together for 9 years, and I have been through a whole lot with him. We had a lot of ups and downs and I gave him more chances than he deserved. I was tired, so very tired. Well, I found someone else that I’m really interested in. I told my ex out of respect and that I thought it would be best if we stopped talking, but he lost it. I’ve never cheated or been unfaithful, but my ex has, which is why we aren’t together anymore. He’s being very possessive now, and has gotten to the point of begging and pleading with me to give him another chance, but I don’t want to do that. I told him, and stood firm in my decision, but he won’t leave me alone now. Sometimes he’ll even show up to my home unannounced. He’s even threatened me by saying “you really want me to end my life, don’t you?” I don’t know what to do… Advice?

    • Why weren’t you married ?

    • I was 6 years with my ex and as you did I gave him more chances than he deserved,but one of us had to end the relationship and I saw that from his part he wasn’t going to do it with how bad he treated me. I decided to stand my ground and say enough is enough. Once you realize you’re ok without having someone you get used to being back to square one peaceful and happy without someone. If he is threatening to end his life, I advice for you to notify one of his family members or close friends what he is doing. You’re not responsible if he kills himself over you,your chapter with him is over. He is using that method to try to manipulate you,stay firm and don’t let your heart bend over his manipulation.Whatever happens remember it’s not your fault. He needs to move on.

    • Fortunately, I haven’t heard from him in a couple months now, so I’m sure he got the message to leave me alone. That saves me a ton of stress, but thank you for the advice! I’m also transferring apartments so he doesn’t know where I live anymore (it also saves me a bit of money on rent, so hooray!).

      • I’m glad he’s not bugging you anymore.

  47. I recently broke up wit my boyfriend.. He’s been my best friend in the past but we’ve officially been together for a yr… I’ve decided to end it bcuz every day was a fight I had no space I was jus trap.. He hasn’t given up trying to get back and he won’t stop bothering he lives rite next door how do I deal wit him

    • I’m in the exact same position! It’s not like you can avoid them and I do care about him so don’t want to be horrible (also cuz he lives next door probably not the best idea!) I have found that it’s best to become like a stuck record.. Just keep telling him you want to be alone and don’t feel the same anymore. I mean if he gets threatening or abusive then you could notify the authorities but as you e still gotta live next door I’m avoiding that as could make things really bad.. I’m looking at trying to move.. But yeah it’s a tough one isn’t it!? Good luck and let me know what happens

  48. What does it mean when my ex girl friend broke up with me but holds my stuff and wont give it back. We moved all the way across the country together also.

  49. Ohh and another thing about the stuff is its just very annoying. Its like if you want to leave and dont want me bothering you then just give me my stuff and go. But she ignores it so i stopped asking for a while

  50. Mine threatens to hurt meor anyonre im ever to meet. Hes cheated. Thats why were not together. Leaves me horrible voicemails. Telling me hiw stupid iam, and threatening. I have him blocked it still goes to voicemail. How can i stop that

    • Jennifer, I’m unsure how to stop getting his voicemails. I blocked my ex on my phone and any social media app I have, but IF he calls, it goes straight to voicemail. Since I recognize the phone number, I just delete it rather than listen to the message because I know what this one will say based on his past ones. Fortunately, he’s stopped contacting me.

    • I didn’t know if you’re still having this problem, but I had to shut off my voicemail completely. Been being harassed for a year now over a nine month relationship. What’s worse is that I’m 21 and the guy is 35. He’s acting relatively immature and clingy, let alone the fact that he raped me twice and was abusive… Turn off your voicemail for a while, it helps.

  51. Thank you, Mindy. That’s exactly what I did. I told the family member he’s closest to and trusts the most about what was happening with him. Everything seems to be going well now, as I’ve not heard from him in over a month now, so there’s that.

  52. The thought of having to go through a divorce is a super scary thought right now. I’m very happy and fortunate now that he never made the commitment to marry me, although I wanted to marry him in the past. I’m glad I didn’t.

  53. I need some advice also.. My bf and I have been dating for a year, his ex is CRAZY full blown begging him, crying the whole thing to go back To him, she didn’t let him see his child (who has a terminal special needs illness) for 6 months because of me.. She thinks I ruined their relationship when he had been unhappy for over a year already, well she is persistent and doesn’t give up, she’s too friendly and had even sent him a nude photo and then played it off as asking a question because she did not get the response she said wanted.. He is not overly friendly and ignores her “friendliness” but he can not upset her by setting the boundaries clear again because she takes away his child.. Help I’m really considering leaving him.. She is an awful person.. She wants him unhappy if he is not with her

  54. I’m 16 years old and I’m still at school. My ex and I dated for about a year but I called it quits before summer and I said that we could still remain friends. We didn’t talk throughout summer but a week before school started we skyped. He told me that he made out with 6 girls and I obviously hadn’t gotten over it so I said I kissed a friend that we both know(that friend had actually kissed me for 1 second like two days before I broke up with my ex I was very surprised and pushed him away). Then two weeks later he started accusing me of cheating on him and he got his friend to harass me over snapchat and he started saying things like lier, cheater etc. I was crying and obviously very frustrated as I kept trying to explain that I hadn’t kissed him and he had kissed me and that I hadn’t cheated. My ex got many people involved and then I thought we sorted it out.But yesterday he waited for me after class with his friend and started shouting at me ‘we need to talk and stop lying’ I ignored him and started to walk to my form where my friends were. But he followed me and pulled me back from my bag but I kept walking while he was shouting profanities at me but I still didn’t say anything and went into the girls bathroom. I waited for 10 seconds and came out but he was waiting for me so I smirked at him and kept walking. He came after me and still shouting said ‘stop playing victim’ (he was spreading rumors about me being a cheater) and very loudly I said ‘I AM not a lier’ I kept walking towards my form then he got so angry and blocked my way and shouted in my face. I laughed at him and he called me names. And i went into my form and started crying. My two friends went to him and ‘sorted it out’ and said he was still convinced I cheated and would not apologize and my other friend shouted at him for making me cry. I’m avoiding him but he’s in most of my classes and we both have tennis and golf together and I’m very scared. My mom said she would talk to his but I don’t know what to do Im very scared and while writing this my hands are shaking and I’m scared of going school.

  55. Way to go! So proud of you for taking a stand and being so proactive to protect yourself. How awesome to save some money on rent in the process, too!

  56. My ex-wife was trading on her friends failed relationship “ennui” (it was everywhere in the ’80’s, that decade is vastly overrated IMO) and it encouraged her to separate from me, which (frankly, I hate to admit it) DEVASTATED me at the time. I had a @$%^ load of responsibilities at the time and couldn’t just address the relationship (or the resultant loss of health on my part as the result) and I wasn’t going to let it torpedo the work/effort I’d already undertaken. Then she started calling me to do the “stuff” she didn’t think about needing while we were together, making my already nearly capsizing responsibilities nearly unmanageable. I eventually wound up in the Hospital with Gangrene in my right leg. But I did manage to attend to those responsibilities. Then she decides she wants to show up (newly married) and be friends after I nearly died. (Cutting edge-then at least-antibiotics were the only things that saved me.) She couldn’t understand why I (and my next-then future-spouse) wanted nothing to do with her. Clueless girl. And she is not by herself. Like Leonard Nimoy once famously said (in his most famous role): “You may find, that after a time, “having” is not so pleasing a thing as “wanting”. It is not logical, but it is often true.” I can’t say I wasn’t warned, but I didn’t expect to have to learn that lesson in specifically THAT way.

  57. I don’t know what to do either? I’ve tried everything to get him to leave me alone. If I ignore my phone he starts calling my place of work. He keeps saying if I will have sex with him one last time he will leave me alone. This has been going on for 9 months and I’m about to lose my mind. I stay stressed to the point it’s starting to effect me physically. My stomach stays in knots and stays upset now. I pray every night about this. I ended it because he was so jealous and possessive and was too rough. The only thing I can think of to do is too try and find another job somewhere else and move. I’m worried if I lied and said I was seeing someone it might make him worse. I haven’t saw him in 9 months he just harrasses by phone. Im so sick of it I don’t know what to do. It’s making me depressed. I just want to be free of him and back to my old happy self again.

  58. I’m having the same problem and I don’t know what to do either. I wished I could go into hiding.

  59. My ex won’t stop texting me out of the blue every week or so.
    He dumped me a few months ago because he can’t handle the fact I am going through a tough time mentally, but now he keeps going out of his way from time to time and messaging me.
    Often he is unkind, and earlier today he let his friend use his phone to message me, posing as my ex and asking for another chance.
    My ex has a brother whom I am helping in school to better his education (he has ADHD) and we have become close friends as a result of trust. My ex’s brother helps me mentally.
    As soon as my ex found out me and his brother were getting close, he messaged saying, “what’s going on with you and my brother?” and he was very very rude to me.
    This is NOT healthy for me mentally either.
    What should I do?

  60. Im in serious trouble…Me and my ex where together for 2 years…He is a drug addict and I foun out in about 10 months after I met him.We broke up some months ago because he did heroin (he was addicted to coke) so I freaked out and broke up woth him fpr the second and final time.He is bery possesibe and has abused ans bullied me a lot in the past and he didnt hessitate to tell me he will suicide when I left him.I tried my best to calm him down and finally convinced him he should ho to rehab.He is there now and we talk with letters, I try to be cold but he lives in his own world and thinks we will be together wjen this ia over.His mom calls me all the time and talks to me as I am his wife or I dont know what! I care about him but I am hurt, tired and depressive.What can I do? In 2 months he is coming back and I am afraid.for my life what am I going to do..Je is obssesed withe and said to my friend that if he finds out I am dating someone he will kill jim and then go.to jail!!!I am so tired…..

  61. What do you do when your abusive ex-girlfriend continues to message you 5.5 years later, even after you’ve been very firm and clear that you want nothing to do with her? This is including telling her flat out that you want nothing to do with her, blocking her on Facebook (on her 4 or 5 different profiles that she’s messaged you from), and blocking her on G+. What does one do?

  62. I have an ex… it’s quite complicated though. We were together four years and engaged, I fell pregnant,miscarried and I then discovered he got someone else pregnant. I suffered alone. I walked away, no one ended anything. Then 10 yrs later he came back. Wanting sex, and wanting to celebrate our child’s birthday. In a way I’m glad I miscarried, because the person he is with is a nasty person and she would have made it difficult. I’ve never done or said anything to destroy their relationship, but she will start on me for no reason. I think she is insecure… they have four children now, but he is constantly telling me that it’s me he loves. But still with her… no changes made. I still love him, he is the live of my life. But, I don’t want a family split. And he made all the mistakes.

  63. My ex and I dated for almost three years and have been broken up for a little over a year. It wasn’t a very good relationship and the longer we were together the more emotionally unavailable he became. It was a very toxic relationship and he wasn’t very nice and always made me feel like I was overreacting when I got made at him, even though my friends said that i had a good reason to be mad. He still sends me text messages and requests on both instagram and facebook. I hadn’t talked to him for about six months until he showed up at my doorstep asking me to take him back and I said no. I thought he had gotten through his head that we weren’t getting back together because I hadn’t hear do from him for a few months so I unblocked him from everything. Then about three months ago he sent me flowers. I said thank you because I thought that was taking the high road. But now it’s three months after and he sending me text messages again. It’s been two weeks in a row that he’s sent me either a text or request. I don’t know what to do because I’m still trying to figure out if I made the right decision or not and the longer it takes for me to find someone and go on a date or something the more I think I should take him back.

  64. My 16 year old daughter dated a boy from school for 3 years. He was very controlling and possessive. Two years ago, my daughter broke up with this boy for repetitive cheating on her. Since the break up, they have tried to stay friends but the controlling behavior got even worse and they have been almost constantly fighting and arguing. about a month ago, she finally got sick of it and told him to leave her alone and she doesn’t want to be around him at all. Three days later, we had a false child protective case opened on us by his family. Also, he is stalking her at school and work coming up close to her saying “I will Always Love You” and “You will Always Be Mine”. I’ve talked to her school about him following her around but was told, as long as he doesn’t say anything threatening to her, they can’t make him leave her alone. I don’t know what to do and I’m scared he will do something bad to her when she is out in public.

  65. This article wasn’t too helpful. It would be more helpful to identify signs of stalking. Why wasn’t there a discussion of what to do when identifying and practicing clear and direct boundaries didn’t work? Is it your fault if after seeking counciling and setting boundaries your ex still doesn’t let go? Is it normal that you’ve had the same issue in all of your past relationships?
    These are the issues that should be addressed. Let’s educate not just glimpse over, and maybe 1in 8 women won’t end up as abuse victims from the partners they once loved.

  66. I broke up with my boyfriend about 6mos ago. I blocked him on Facebook and stopped getting on it for about 5 Mos. When I did log back on I seem a massage in my inbox but it was a reply from my side which I didn’t send only saying( I know right lol) sent to him which I had blocked him prior to me giving fb a break. I went to my activity log and seen I was logged in on a different phone and I changed my password. A few days later I got a texts notification saying my Google account was login on a from unfamiliar mobile device . Which I changed that password. He kept calling and texting me so I changed my phone number. Now his fb messages my family asking about me and trying to find out where I’m at has even showed up at places that that I go like hair salon and diners and he will sit outside my apartment in his car or park up the street a watch for me to leave. What should I do he hasn’t made any threats toward me yet other than before the break up he stated if I can have you no can.

  67. Hi, me and my ex broke up a few months ago. We were engaged and have a baby together. I broke up with him multiple times as we always argued a lot and he was taking drugs but always we managed to find common grounds or he convinced me to get back with him. Sometimes I just wanted him to stop bothering me or felt sorry for him as he did talk about talking his own life. Eventually I couldn’t take all the fights anymore packed mine and my babies bags and moved out. We live in a different country now but he continues to email me. Its awful – we start talking about or son, then out of blue he starts apologising for what he did wrong in the past and how he’d want us to be back, of course provided that I would finally “open my eyes and change myself” and then when I tell him that I don’t feel the same and am trying to move on he gets all super upset, angry and talks about suicide. Now I just feel sorry for him and just annoyed really. I really dont know how to go about this. I’d like to be able to communicate with him and discuss only stuff related to our son and have him come for visits so our son has an idea of what his biological dad is like but when he comes up with all these issues and eventually starts talking about suicide and stuff I just want to cut fully contact with him altogether. It just doesn’t feel right because of our son. I really don’t know what to do. On one side I don’t want my son to not know him at all but on the other side I really really do not wish to keep getting emails like that from him time and time again. Plus when he does mention things like taking his own life I don’t know if I shouldn’t inform the police over there?! I messaged his mother to check on him but still I don’t want to be in this position…

  68. So, I was friends with this guy for a long time, and last year, around May, we got together. Last month, I broke up with him because he was very controlling, and he would accuse me of having relationships with other guys. We would fight because he would lie to me, or he would bring up things from my past, like my exes, or he would just pick a fight with me. It had gotten so bad to the point where he would threaten to confront other dudes if he found out they were talking to me. Every time I would try to break up with him, because he was so emotionally draining, he would cry, like break down in tears. He would promise to get it together, and I would take him back, but he would go back to doing what he was doing. I gave him chance after chance, but it got to the point where I couldn’t take it, and I broke up with him. He didn’t take it well. He would blow up my phone and blow up my brother’s phone. He would follow me around class, and even take me out of class just to talk to me. I was affirmative with him, I even told him that we could be friends, but nothing more. But, it’s getting hard to be friends with him. I don’t know what to do because I really care about him, but I can’t keep doing this to myself. Any advice?

  69. Can someone help me? My ex has lied about me to my girlfriend and is interfering with my relationship..how can I politely ask her to stop communicating with us because I’m fully committed to my girlfriend and don’t want past (bad) history haunting my current relationship.

  70. My ex boyfriend and I have only dated for about 6-8 months ,we hadrank no problems everything was fine ,then he suddenly broke up with me, to get other the break up I pushed my self to be better then I was and I grew up ,and I got over the relationship that I grew to learn wasn’t going anywhere , but after 2 months of being happy again he shows up on my door step of my house that I can’t leave from, and tells me he’s sorry and wants another chance, I didn’t know better and told him I’ll be his friend, that didn’t work because he was, upset and angry as I talked about other men, he’d want to plan dates, he treated me like a girlfriend again and the final straw was that he wanted to be friends with benefits so I cut all ties, my current problemishes is that he has come back to my door step not even 2months later with the same Jamble and I have a new Boyfriend now who I have talk about these issues from my ex and I don’t know what to do I don’t think my ex will hurt me but he won’t leave me alone or take a hint and keeps coming back saying he loves me and messed up. I need help.

  71. Ive been with this guy for almost 4 yrs. None of this relationship has been pleasant. He is always fighting and argueing with someone if its not his boss its with me. I cant get him to leave and stay gone. He always comes back. I even tried to move myself just leave but i cant just leave state i have children. I did leave town but he found me. I cant afford to just keep moving. I have developed and heart issue, my blood pressure is always too high. And honestly i am at a loss on what to do next. He is spitting in my face pulling my around by my hair trying to provoke me into hitting him. When i finally just have enough and cant cobtrol my reaction he trys to make everyone around think im crazy and i am loosing my mind. Nobody wants to step in and help. He has run everyone off. Nobody comes around or trys to help. They all think that i let him back.. when honestly i dont ever have never wanted him to come back. I have never let him come back. I come home from work one mornin and ge is sitting on the couch watching tv i ask himhow he got in becuase i was sure i locked the door when i left, i find out he climbed in a window. Please what should i di

  72. I have been seeing someone off/on for 16 yrs. When we are together it’s great. No arguing, fighting, we can talk about anything/everything. I am part of his adult children & grandchildrens lives. Then He meets someone on a whim, dates and/or marries them but tries to keep in touch with me on the down low because we are in the same employment fields. When it’s over he always comes back to me saying he missed me so much or that we are really good together and he doesn’t know why he keeps giving us up. It’s good for a few months then he meets someone on the whim again, the cycle starts all over. This time he’s been married for 6yrs, left his wife 5mo’s ago. Again he called me talking about the future, how we are going to do this and we are going to do that. A few days ago he told me he was getting back with his wife because he deeply misses his 6 yr old daughter. All he kept saying was he had to do it for his daughter and that he was going to miss me so much. I am very tired of this, it hurts too much. I want to cut all ties with him, personal & perfessional, but don’t know how. Should I do it in person, over the phone or write him? Your opinions are greatly appreciated.

    • I would write to him. That way you get it all out without a chance for him to try and talk you round. Think of it as a clean break and being kind to yourself. I was in a similar relationship roundabout and ended things in January, to begin with it hurt, but guess what…I feel fine now, happy even and free of the painful yo-yoing relationship saga. Do this now and you wont regret it, but after you have sent the letter, change your number, and block him, give yourself time to heal and move on, I wish you luck xx

  73. My ex was also my neighbor but we were kinda close after the relationship ended i finnaly realised she is not a good person and i just want her to leave me alone we both are going to the same college and occasionally she will text me. I am currently in a new relationship and and so is my ex but she has beem none to cheat and she has given me really bad anxiety issues .Please pardon any spelling issues or lack of detail i am in need of help thank you

  74. I have just broke up about 20 days before and that guy does not understand this he had putted lots of restrictions on me and i was fed of him because there was no trust between us and no understanding between us …….so i broke up and have moved on but he keeps calling and i cant even block his number because calls on the landline what should i do

  75. I ended my monstrous relationship back in May of this year. My ex doesn’t seem to understand how breakups work. He want honest about anything because he was still married but, kept saying his wife cared nothing about him. He also kept asking for money to pay his bills. He didn’t want to get a job because he was afraid of losing disability. He was a huge pest most of the time because he would bother me at work knowing I was busy. Now I’m back in track trying to get myself in order but, he just won’t stop. I’ve tried all this. I’m at the moment that I will issue a restraining order against him.

  76. I ended my relationship with my ex 5 yrs ago… And the worst thing I ever did was remain friends “Big No” he still acted as I was his gf like we had some type of rules it was awful I hated seem like I wasted time… The only thing I was doing was blocking my happiness and seeking other potential men that could have been that guy… I finally release the dead weight off my shoulders

  77. I am in love with a girl who broke up with her boyfriend who she has been in relationship for nearly 10 years, her ex doesn’t accept the break up and he keeps on nagging her, he even enters her home uninvited. How much she tries he still wants her back but she is done with him, she wants loves me too but she can’t accept me yet cause he keeps threatening her that he will kill anyone who comes into her life, what should be done? Please give some advice fast, it’s urgent.

    • Call the Police on him and/or get a restraining order. That is not right, and if he is threatening to kill people for getting close and forcing himself into her life and home, he really needs to be dealt with by an authority.

  78. My ex wont leave me alone to the point where she started hurting herself. She says iif I leave she will go all the way with it and the only way to cure her is to LOVE her. But I havent been right since 2015, after my Mom died I needed space from people and places she didn’t understand. She showed up to my spot and never left . She said she would call the Police on me if I get a restraining order. I have been talking to other women just because I’m not happy with my current. But I get in more trouble if she finds out, how because she goes through all my phone records. She shows up to my job anywhere I am, the only time we don’t argue is if tell her positive affirmations. I dont know what to do I want out. Ive wanted out , but she really put herself in the hospital messing with me

  79. I left my short relationship of 8 months about a couple months ago but my.ex isn’t getting the point. He somehow got into my Gmail account and started to track my every move so I changed the password when I finally found out how he was doing that. He even told me if i didn’t stop talking to a guy he would do something. He tries to tell me what to do and who to see and I did try to be friends with him but he rather put me down and call me names so I finally stopped replying to him after telling him i don’t want to talk to him ever again and I even changed my number so he wouldn’t have it. I have him blocked on my FB as well but he uses his friends fb to contact me and also found me on a dating site to try totalkt but I still don’t respond. I found out recently that he went to a bar that he never liked and only went to a couple of times but knew some how I would be there. He didn’t approach me but later that night he messaged me saying he saw me there and that I left with someone too. He is stressing me out and I’m not one to call the cops about this situation either.

  80. My ex and I broke up 2 years ago. It is a long painful story. He ended up calling my dad, my brother and my folks were utterly shocked and disappointed at this. My brother would not talk to me for next 1 year. He was probably angry at me for choosing such a looser, and more angry because my dad was sick and my issues made it worse for the family. My ex, he never treated me well. He’d say he loves me when alone and then won’t take my calls or switch the phone off when with friends, or in parties. He was irresponsible, won’t work or study. Just going out with friends and fun. TBH, i was already done with him, and on the top of it, he crashed my whole family.
    Now two years later, when things are starting to get better with me, he’s back (to ruin it all). He calls and texts (mostly on Sunday, when he’s got nothing to do) since last 3-4 months which is beyond annoying. I am again loosing sleep over a fool. I don’t want my parents and brother to know. Since I don’t think they deserve to feel that pain all over again, for this unworthy person. And I read on the internet that “Ignore him” & that’s what I am doing. But I am really scared that if I don’t stop him this will escalate to something worse. My friends say ignoring will work, but should I wait for him to ruin this one more time?

  81. My Fiancé and I are very happy in our relationship and have been trying to get what we need for a wedding. His ex girlfriend keeps trying to talk to him and get him back and trying to get it so I can not contact her about it we feel harassed and bothered. What can we do to get this to end? We tried telling her but she ain’t listening 🙁

  82. My daughter divorced her husband in September because he is a drug addict. In Nov he got into the house and tried to choke her to death luckily my 22 yr old grandson was there and heard her screaming, so he busted the door down a fight ensued and my grandson wound up with a broken wrist. The police were called and the x was arrested and charged with Aggravated family violence with injury, terriost threat (said he had put a bomb under her car). Since then he has bombarded my daughter daily to the point she blocked his cell phone so now he emails her daily. She has installed an extensive alarm system with cameras. He has been at the house several times banging on the door, throwing bottles at her windows and saying all kinds of nasty things. Yes she had a protective order that expired when the divorce was final, but we know they really aren’t worth anything. They also have a 15 yr old daughter who has now told him she doesn’t want to talk to him ever again, needless to say that hasn’t made things any easier. He is set to go to court on Mon and they have offered him 20 months probation….my problem is that I am so worried for all of them and I don’t know what to do. My daughters birthday is the 18th and he has already told her he has something for her and it wasn’t in a nice way. The guy owns a lot of guns and is totally unstable. My daughter lives in fear all the time and I’m seriously afraid he could be one of those terrible ex’s that shoots them all. The police can’t do anything until he does something which of corse could be too late. She’s not even going to stay at her house on the 18th because of his threat. So we hear these stories all the time and ppl say they had no idea he was like that…what options do I have because I know he’s capable of doing very bad things if he gets high enough it’s no telling. I don’t want it to be the after effect that they wish he could have been stopped. There has to be something that can be done no one should have to live their life like this because they married the wrong man. I would be forever grateful if someone has a solution for this or can steer me towards somebody who can help. They are my only family left and can’t even imagine life without them.. this man is seriously crazy and needs to be locked up where he can’t hurt anyone. My daughter said she hoped they don’t give him jail time because when he gets out he will make her life worse. It’s such a sad sad situation.
    I thank anyone wh has some helpful advice..

    • Hi Cheril,
      I know you posted this a while back now. Is everything ok? I sure hope so! I can’t imag what you must be feeling, it’s so scary. I think the only option is to move your family away and not let him know where you guys are.

  83. Idk what to do my ex broke up with me but won’t leave me alone comes back to say he’s sorry and that he wants me but when I give In he acts like he doesn’t want me and puts me down only time he happy if we had sex or I gave him money but I stop the sex and money and things just got worse I’m just really over him trying to come back in my life any type of way

  84. MY EX AND I BROKE UP 3 YEARS AGO .IT WAS HER DESISION TI BREAK UP COME TO FIND OUT SHE WAS CHEATING ON ME.THE LASY3 YEARS HAVE BEEN HELL FOR ME I FOUND OUT SHE GOT MARRIED BUT SHE IS STILL STAUKING ME .EVERYDAY SHE DRIVES BY MY WORK SHE EMAILS MR THROUGH A DATING SITE WHY WONT SHE ALLOW ME TO MOVE ON AND FORGET ABOUT HER .IVE BOTTLED IT UP ANDIM AT MY ENDS WHITS WITH HER WHY IS SHE DOING THIS TO ME

  85. I moved out of my ex boyfriends and changed my number I moved on I found someone that I love I blocked my ex boyfriend from social media. But that’s not enough I got a message from one of my ex’s friends saying my ex boyfriend wanted to talk to me i blocked that friend I also blocked my ex boyfriends girlfriend/baby mama. I thought I got rid of my ex for good then I went on my YouTube channel to see if I got any more followers or likes and I see I have a message so I look at it it say hi this is wes. Wes is my ex so I blocked him and deleted his number. I am scared to go out cuz I scared to run into him or someone he knows so when I go out I have to make sure that I am not recognizable or make sure I have a ride and that my phone is fully charged so I could call the police if I have 2 or call my boyfriend I’m just scared that he has somebody watching me and I don’t know what to do.

    • Or you can just talk to him…. hes trying to communicate not hurt you.

      • clearly they don’t want to. which is completely okay he should get the point and leave her alone not make her life miserable because she has to worry about him stalking her

        • Get what point? She is toxic, she clearly ghosted the guy to get him to chase. It seems like she’s just seeking validation. When a person wants it to be over they just communicate it and leave it at that.

          • how is she toxic? she changed her number. she moved on with her life. she has a new boyfriend. she has blocked any connection to her ex. she wants to be left the alone. he needs to take the hint and let it be.

  86. is it crazy if your boyfriend breaks up with me and tells me he wanted ti be single and got with someone a few days after and he kept telling me he loved me and then leave him alone and i wanted to see him so i went to where he was and we got into an argument and he yelled at me and something that hurt my feelings and i slapped him in the face and kept slapping him and he choked me and pushed me

    • Once a person in a relationship tells the other one to leave him alone, then he should be left alone, regardless of how many years he told you he loved you or wanted you. You need to respect his choice and leave him and not stalk him

    • Do write down and record every way and time he tries to communicate with you. Be prepared to go to the police and report him for stalking. He knows you dont want to communicate with him from the time u moved out and changed your number, so he needs to respect this. My advice is to go to police

  87. I am the most happiest woman on earth right now, My fiancee that left me few months ago just came back to me last night crying to take him back. Guess what?? My highest surprise is that he just proposed to me right now and a car as a sign of apology.

    • Don’t take him back in with materialistic items…

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