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What to Do if You Want To Kill Yourself & Feel Suicidal

What to Know About Suicidal Ideation

What Is Suicidal Ideation?

Suicidal ideation is when you think about killing yourself. This could mean that someone is actively planning and considering suicide, or it could mean that someone is so overwhelmed that they just don’t want to go on. It’s estimated that about 9% of the general population experience suicidal thoughts, and around 5% of people between the ages of 18 and 25.

Those with health issues or other major life challenges are even more likely to deal with suicidal thoughts. Situational stressors like military service or being discriminated against can increase your risk of suicidal ideation, as can diagnoses of chronic pain, traumatic brain injury, substance abuse disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, and more.

Passive suicidal ideation is when a person wishes to be dead or hopes that it will happen soon but doesn’t make any plans to make it happen. This could look like crawling into bed for the night and hoping that you don’t wake up in the morning. This could look like thinking about how you wouldn’t have to face your problems if you were gone. It could also look like feeling so tired that you wish you could just “sleep forever.” Essentially, you may not necessarily want to die, but you do not want to live your life either.

Active suicidal ideation is when a person not only wants to die but fully intends to and may even already have plans for how to do it. While both are cause for concern and treatment, if you are having suicidal thoughts that include details about how you would commit the act, it’s important that you talk to someone ASAP. Please reach out to a Hope Coach today, or call 988 for support and 911 if you’re in immediate danger.

Do You Feel Suicidal Right Now?

I know life can be hard and problems can pile so high that we cannot see a way out. I want to give you some practical ideas to try when you are at the depth of despair and feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. When you feel suicidal, please try these four steps.

When you have lost hope and believe suicide is the only way out, please try these four ideas:

1. Reach Out for Help

I understand that finding the strength to do this can be really hard, especially if you also feel alone, but suicide prevention services are available to help.

It is important to have someone you trust that you can reach out to when your thoughts get too heavy. This is someone you make a commitment to that says, I promise that if I have serious thoughts of killing myself, I will talk with you or with someone else I trust before I do anything destructive.

John is a survivor and here is his advice, “Don’t keep quiet if you are going to hurt yourself or others…please speak up. If you are feeling suicidal then talk to someone, don’t keep quiet about it. There is someone out there who will listen to you.”

Keely said she has an older friend she calls when she feels suicidal thoughts coming on: I told her everything. And I told her that I need her help. Sometimes I just call to hear her voice to know I’m not alone. Other times, I ask if we can get together. She doesn’t grill me, she’s just there for me.

Having someone to reach out to is priceless because you can meet with them face to face or talk on the phone anytime. If you haven’t ever talked to anyone about your thoughts, please make it a priority to reach out to someone today.

2. Refer to your Safety Plan

Take time right now to create a safety plan, if you haven’t already done so. Type the answers to the questions below into Notes on your phone or write them down somewhere you have easy access to them. Then, whenever you have depression and suicidal thoughts, you can pull out your plan and follow what you have written down.

Safety Plan

  1. What are the warning signs that occur before your thoughts turn to suicide? (thoughts, images, situation)
  2. List two or three people you will ask for help when you are feeling this way. How will you contact them?
  3. What are a few things you can do to take your mind off of your problems? (Physical Activity, Relaxation Techniques, etc.)
  4. What settings provide a distraction for you?
  5. Crisis Lines you agree to contact in addition to TheHopeLine if necessary. (911, 988, therapist emergency #, etc.)
  6. What can you do to make your environment safe? (Stop drinking, remove weapon, pills, tools, etc.)
  7. One thing that is most important to you and worth living for is:

3. Remove whatever can harm you at that very moment

If there are guns, knives, and pills in your house, then RUN from your house. Get away from anything you can use to hurt yourself. This will buy you time to settle down and begin to think rationally. Some people are most suicidal when they are drunk.

Have someone you know, and trust clear all those things out of your house.

Wendelin said she was suicidal for over three years but was helped by knowing she wasn’t alone:  I had a friend who was there for me no matter what. I tried to push this friend away so many times, she took away the knives and scissors I’d cut with, my dad’s diving knife, my grandpa’s gun, and the hose and rope so I couldn’t hang myself. Even though I was so mad at her for it, I knew she cared and that she really did love me.

Glory wrote: I tried a couple of times but it never really worked. Then one night I realized something. If you can’t change it, get over it. There are much better things to do in life than sit around hating life. God gave us life so we should use it. Killing yourself is only running away from your problems. It won’t help one bit.

4. Turn to other Activities

The key here is to get your mind off of doing the unthinkable. If you are near suicide, you want to change the subject, or divert your mind from what you were planning to do. Walk, jog, bike, swim, take a nap, take a hot shower, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, do household chores, clean, go shopping, go to the park, volunteer at an animal shelter for a few hours – An excuse to play with puppies? Yes, please! Anything that has the potential to help you lift your spirit.

Kelsey discovered this worked for her: I actually went and got a knife to kill myself and I just stopped and I was thinking this really isn’t solving my problems is it? So I just decided to try to get into something like hip-hop classes, get my mind off my life, and just try to live life to the fullest.

You were made for more.

I know it feels like life will never get better, but I believe that you can get to the other side of this pain. I believe you were created for more than what you are feeling right now. God designed you in His image. He breathed life into you. He KNOWS you and LOVES you and has a purpose for your life.  It may not FEEL that way, but we can’t always trust our feelings.

There is a man in the Bible who God says was a man after his heart. His name was David.  Yet David struggled with his feelings a lot. Read the book of Psalms and you will see what I am talking about.  For example, here is what King David said in Psalm 6:6-9, “All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.”  Here are other Bible verses to encourage you – Verses of Hope when Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts
There are many more articles on TheHopeLine regarding suicide and we want you to know you are not alone. You matter, you are good enough and you are loved.

If you or a friend need support right now, chat on-line with a Hope Coach, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

  1. Thank you so much for this! I realise how stupid I was for considering the so called ‘easy way out’ I realised that my pain would just pass on to the people around me if I did kill myself. I’ve decided to enjoy all aspects of life the good and the bad because I can learn from them. I really can’t thank you enough for this powerful message. You saved my life!

    • Im thinking of ending it i have tried in the past but i was stop by my old friends but now i have pushed them out my life end im scared cuz i know i will do it and this time i have no1 to stop me i need help

      • Hi Javier,
        Please don’t think you are alone.. They are people like you who wants to end there lives too. Please come in contact with one of those people listen to there problems may be you will save there lives and you will get an internal strength to not to Suicide.
        And FYI I am one you too… Please remember we don’t know what life is after death? We have option to end this Life will we have the same option there? I ask my self this question.

  2. I’m so seriuos I’m killing myself..I need help pleaaassee someone

    • Tiarra,
      Hope you doing Well. Just read your Comment… Dear Please reply me back if you can. God is the strongest have faith in him.. He is just next to you giving you the helping hand please accept his help, by helping your self.

    • We sent you an email and hope you have talked to someone about how your feeling of wanting to end your life. Please continue to seek out help by calling us at 800.394.4673 or chatting with a HopeCoach at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. You can also find help at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

  3. I now will kill me self

    • Try Calling the Help line…

    • We sent you an email and hope you have talked to someone about how your feeling of wanting to end your life. Please continue to seek out help by calling us at 800.394.4673 or chatting with a HopeCoach at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. You can also find help at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

    • I hope you’re okay.

    • DON’T!!! IF I EVER DID/WILL FEEL LIKE IT, GRAB YOUR WRISTS BEHIND YOUR BACK, AND THINK OF EVERYTHING THERE IS IN LIFE!!!!! THINK HOW AMAZING IT IS YOUR HEART BEATS, BY ITSELF, TO KEEP YOU ALIVE!!!!! PLEASE, DO IT FOR ME!!!!!

    • Please don’t. Do it for me, a sad girl. A sick girl. A girl who is treated like a trash can by her *Best Friend*. I have suicidal thoughts sometimes, so I look up cute kittens online, and stare deeply in space into the kitten’s loving eyes. Heavenly Father(aka God, I’m mormon) wanted you to have a place in this world, and everyone has trials, for jugglers sake, my mom had a 2 ton cargo luggage cart park on her foot! Think of that, think about how you are not bedridden like my poor, poor mother! Go to the E.R. IMMEDIATELY!!!!! Mental illnesses are JUST AS IMPORTANT as physical illnesses! Trust me. Everyone has trials. Everyone suffers! Please, don’t do it, and even if this email is useless, just know, I am here for you, family is here for you, God is here for you. Just pray(if you don’t know what praying is, it is folding you arms and bowing your head, talking to God) to God and ask him for advice. Ask him what to do. Trust me. *Trust him!* Please, I beg with all my heart! Don’t commit suicide. Suicide is a degree of murder. Trust me…..

      • I’m a Mormon as well. I’ve had suicidal thoughts on and off my whole life.

      • Has being a Mormon seen answered prayers and life transformation? I became a christian three years ago in the last year my life has fallen apart in a way I could never imagine, 8 months of unanswered prayers have now turned to suicidal thought i just dunno what to do.

      • I am also LDS! I have had so much happen to me in the past two years that I have lost faith in everything! I was talking to a guy that left for his mission and is still currently on it and everything just turned to crap. I started drinking with my best friend from high school and she let a guy we also knew Rape me while I was passed out! I woke up while he was still on top of me! A year has passed and I still feel numb! My depression has taken over me and now I have no friends to talk to and i don’t want to bother my family with my problems. I’ve talked to my mom about it and she just starts to talk about Heavenly Fathers plans and starts telling me stories about random things. I have all of this stuck inside and I have no one to talk too! I’m so tired of trying to act fine. I go to YSA activities once a month because that’s all we have here and that the only time I get to talk to anyone and it’s not like I’m going to sit and talk about my problems there. I sit there and see all of these happy people and all I can think about is everything I have done wrong. That guy I was talking to comes back in a couple of months and all I can think about is how I’m too damaged for him now. How could I look at him? I keep asking myself why all bad things have to happen to me. Why can’t I ever catch a break? Talking to my bishop is out of the question because I don’t want people knowing what happened to me. My bishop has known me my whole life and he knows everyone I know. I ask myself how people can look at me and not see that I am dying inside. Going to church just doesn’t seem right anymore… because all I think about is what he did to me and then I look around at all of these happy families and happy couples in my ward and then there’s me alone! We only have about 10 ysa’s in my area and that’s in two states. Everyone moves to Utah or Idaho and finds someone. I lived in Utah for almost a year and then I thought Heavenly Father wanted me to go back home and then two moths later I was driving home and a drunk driver hit me and then 8 months later I was Raped. Nothing is supposed to go right for me I guess… when that guy comes back he will probably just move on to someone that’s skinny and pretty and a lot less damaged than me! I’m almost 21 and I just don’t see a future for me anymore! The husband, kids, house everything is just gone! I was supposed loose my virginity to the man I loved and that’s gone. How can I ever go back to the temple? I just found a video that explains some of what I’m feeling because all I think I have done at this point is rant and told complete strangers my problems because I have no one else to talk too!

        • Precious Bekah, what happened to you was NOT your fault. You are still a treasure and you have value. Please don’t give up on life. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches who understands what you are experiencing. Our trained HopeCoaches are available 24/7 on chat. I found this quote for you on the LDS website. You were a victim and your Bishop will have compassion for you. See the quote below. You are loved, sweet girl.
          “Victims of abuse should seek help immediately, normally from their bishop or branch president. His first responsibility is to help those who have been abused and to protect those who may be vulnerable to future abuse. Victims of abuse should be assured that they are not to blame for the harmful behavior of others. They do not need to feel guilt. If they have been a victim of rape or other sexual abuse, whether they have been abused by an acquaintance, a stranger, or even a family member, victims of sexual abuse are not guilty of sexual sin. Victims of abuse can seek help from their priesthood leader to guide them through the process of emotional healing. Through the blessings of the gospel, victims of abuse can stop the cycle of abuse and be freed from the suffering they have experienced.”

        • Hi you don’t know me and I know what your going through. You are amazing and I am your friend. Don’t give up because what happened to you is horrible but you can’t let it be the end of your story. Even the people that go through the most difficult problems in life bounce back and become some of the greatest people on this earth. I want you to think of this as an chance to be the greatest and I believe that you are. You are beautiful and wonderful and you will make a difference in this world. Dont give up because I am counting on you living and I know that you deep down is the cure to all the darkness. My name is Jonah and I am 16 years old. I am friend to all that need one and If your struggling I will support you!

          • Hi, how can you be that positive ? I’m losing faith in everything, I don’t even know how people wonderful as you make to live in this world.
            Btw I’m sorry my english isn’t very good

          • Hi, how can you be that positive? I’m losing faith in evere ything, I don’t even know how people as wonderful as you make to live in this world.

          • Bless you Jonah! You are a Blessing…

        • Hey I want to know how are things now? Please don’t give up on your life, all that happened to you is not your fault! You deserve so much better but death is not the answer. The solution and your happiness lies in this life of yours.

    • My friend is suicidal she sticks needles in to her self she pearced her ear cut her hand and her leg she made scratch marks on her leg…She’s my bff…and now I feel like suicide…I have tried but could put my mind to it….

      • (edited, I felt my past comment is too… ) Hope spirit of the universe blesses you and your bff. You both were created in the universe hands. You are a fragment of the universe and an important part of it. Just hope your bff to be blessed by the iniverse

    • Deleted comment. I felt my point is over exaggerated. But to those feeling bad, hope the spirit of the universe bless you. You were created in The universe hands. You are a part of the universe.

    • Idk when this was posted… are you alright? Please don’t do it!

    • It’s just too hard. I can’t live with who I am.

  4. I live chatted with a very strong and beautiful soul at HOPE line, I was feeling Suicidal but after chatting with her and her telling me her story I did feel better. I felt HOPE and I had not felt that in a very long time. But with each passing day I have noticed my resolve in the fact I don’t want to die is waning again, I feel like I should not call or chat again because I feel like I am letting her down now that those thoughts are creeping in again. My panic attacks during the night are getting worse and my night terrors are getting worse, and I am remembering things That I thought I had buried so deep they could not resurface, But there they are and I am feeling like my hope is slipping away, Should I or would it be bad if I chatted again?

    • Teresa, Thank you so much for your kind words and story! We are here for you 24/7 please feel free to chat with a HopeCoach again. If they didn’t get a chance on your first chat to give you some resources they will be able to give you some the next time you chat in. We have some great partners and one that you may really like is to sign up for an email mentor that you can continue to email back and forth with for as long as you like about what ever is going on in your life. Please do not hesitate to reach out to us again when you feel like you need to talk. We care!

    • Tersa it would not be bad if you speak to them again that’s what they are there for to help you
      Darren please do not kill yourself you ARE LOVED and needed on this earth I believe God has a plan and loves each and every one of us life can be hard but it does get better

  5. Maybe there is a world better developed I do not belong in society im nothing. family dont care more poison than anything. not one friend… Its so easy to just jump off the cliff.. the world i want to be in is not here.. Just once i wanted help but was to ashamed to ask for it i wanted somebody anyone to tell me make me get help. now i know that its too late cause im at the cliff to afraid to go over and to afraid to stay.

  6. I wish it was that easy.. I wish somebody else would pull the trigger…

  7. I hate september bad memories.. I just want to close my eyes and this month to be over i want it all over.
    Somebody pull the trigger and kill me..

    • Sane, September can be extremely hard and may open up old wounds. We respect your feelings and want you to know that we care about you today and everyday. Please feel free to call or chat with us anytime. If you want download our free app to your phone to chat, listen to the show, get an email mentor and get encouraged here is the link to download it. http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp

  8. I am a loser. I’ve completed my graduation on public administration & have appeared for post-graduation. I don’t have a job. I have to rely upon tutoring children on a minimal salary. My father worked for ARMY. Now he works as a driver for a man with a very low salary. I’ve fallen in love with a girl 1 year junior than me. I really love her a lot. she has a government job in a primary school and her family is quite solvent than mine. She lacks faith in me. Every time I say something she suspects as if I’m cheating on her. but, I am really of not that type. I just can’t live without her. but, she really doesn’t get me. I am facing difficulties to maintain my family expenditures while on the other hand I always have to keep my self tensed in fear of losing her any moment. sometimes I feel it might be easier to let go of life than living it.

    • Parvez, Thank you for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and we commend you for doing this. You have accomplished so much. What a blessing to have a degree in public administration. Please never give up on your hopes and dreams. Keep persevering through this! It may seem like there is no end to what you are going through, but there is. Your challenges are temporary and you have a great life ahead of you full of happiness. We are here for you and we truly want to listen to what is going on in your life and offer you some ways to cope with it. Please call us or chat with us at TheHopeLine today at 800.394.4673 or chat at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. We have a free app you can download to your phone to chat with as well at http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp.

  9. busy hours, busy life, but i think i shall drop by for a sec to say THANK YOU.
    Your chat line has help to clam me down. Manage to make me not too defensive, as i usually do.
    I still don’t really understand what was happening how do we connect spiritual from scientific point of view. Not visible, only have relaxing feeling after all. Though i was not 100% believed but i also can’t explain how i can become better.
    For what ever reasons, THANK YOU. THANK YOU. and sorry if i make you wait for long at the end of the chat, as i accidentally fall as sleep.

  10. Yes it’s so easy just to forget your depression. Obviously the writer of this article has never stood on a bridge, feeling like there is no other way out but to jump. But I’ll just “distract” myself because that works.

  11. My world has ended. A 10 year relationship down the tubes. I’ve never been closer to anyone in my life…He hates me now. I have no one else closer and lost a mutual best friend in the process. It haunts me daily. I was with this person from 23-33 and I feel like I’m behind glass. Getting to know anyone else is a chore with such negativity wafting around me. I’ve been on SSI since I was 23 for mental disorders. I can’t get the thought of erasing myself out of my mind. Help

    • I hope you’re ok Shay x

  12. Actually I don’t think that taking my life will solve all my problems it will just spare the others from the problems I cause

  13. Recently i have been doing so many mistakes that i can’t even count it would be better if i could just spare anyone from my mistakes

  14. I have nothing I can live for the only thing i cherish most is my dog i know he does’t get what i tell him but i just feel like i can let my heart out for him and I just don’t know what will happen to me when he passes away.

  15. Struggling with finding purpose in our ever expanding, never sleeping world. With so many people, how can individuals hold any real purpose outside of their collective purpose. Boredom, detachment and general emotional numbness doesn’t help either. Suicide a constant companion, almost soothing.

    • I can identity with this, but maybe we should not be looking for purpose as it msy only lead to disappointment

  16. i dont know how to deal with this anymore its killing a bit of my insides every day im trying to distract myself but it just keeps getting worse and worse. I feel like there will never be anything good that can happen to me because my whole life is upside down and it never gets better.. everyone says that but it doesnt happen. I waited for 2 years and it literally only got worse there is nothing else i can do…. goodbye cruel world i hope you give others more than you gave me

  17. I need help

    • Andrew, are you still with us? I hope so. I as well contemplate often. I am a veteran, I also had childhood that left me scared. I am getting older in life, and see no hope ahead of me. I just wanted to say, that as much as I think about this, I also know how I would do this. I just know never would I ever use a fire arm. Just so government cannot use this against those who fought for the right to own a firearm.
      What keeps me alive is the thought of giving up when billions of people in spite of their lives tuffed it out. I want to be that guy. I get most my good moments with my dogs. Or riding my bike. (which would be my way to go).
      But I fight daily, and will continue. I am not gonna be the one to quit. My kids would then know, I wasn’t as tuff as they thought, hoped I was. So I will find ways to cope. I am hoping talking with like minded helps. Let me know your still here.
      Take care.

  18. Andrew,
    Please never give up! You are not alone in the struggles you are facing. We are here and ready to help. Call us or chat with us at TheHopeLine today? We are open 24/7 and all you have to do is call 800.394.4673 or you can chat with one of our HopeCoaches about what is going on at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp . If you have a phone we have a free app you can download to contact us for help. Here is the link to download it. http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp
    -TheHopeLine Team

  19. You are not alone in the struggles you are facing. You are worthy, loved and the Lord has great plans for you. Please never give up! Call us or chat with us at TheHopeLine today? We are open 24/7 and all you have to do is call 800.394.4673 or you can chat with one of our HopeCoaches about what is going on at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp . If you have a phone we have a free app you can download to contact us through chat, phone or email. http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp

  20. Man I have a severe anxiety disorder, i just found out i’m pregnant for the second time and i’m only 17, my boyfriend and i broke up and he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore, my mom is still abusive, i’m failing school, I’m done. Maybe life isn’t for everyone.

  21. I don’t have some depressing reason for feeling this way. I just do. And I have no idea why. I guess I’ve been feeling severely depressed for quite a long time, but a while ago, I was surprised to find myself looking up quick and painless ways to kill myself. I can’t tell my parents about this, because heck, I love them, but they tend to take things the wrong way. Telling them will honestly only make things worse. And I’m 14. What can I do? I mean, I can’t drive around and clear my mind and all that, and I hate myself for throwing the burden on others. And sometimes, people just don’t want to listen, and they start to throw THEIR problems at your face. They ask me why I feel like this, I tell them I don’t know, and then they see me as an attention seeker. I’m not SUPER serious about suicide, but then again, a month ago, I would have never thought about it. Now it’s all I can think about. :/

    • Try going to see your doctor and talking to them about how you’re feeling. It doesn’t matter how you or old you are, suicidal thoughts are suicidal thoughts and you must seek help. Also, finding help never makes you an ‘attention seeker’

    • I feel the exact same way! Im 14 years old as well, i dont know why i feel like this.. I just do. Im not super serious about suicide either, i can’t tell my parents because i know it will change everything. I feel like im a burden to everybody. I love my family, my small sister,mom and dad. I have a few close friends but recently I’ve been thinking that im the odd one out and feel like i don’t belong with them anymore. Whenever i tell someone about my problems they just stare and don’t know what to do. id just like to make new friends but i have very low self esteem and im very shy. Im scared of being alone. Feeling lonely. I just want to have 1 real friend that will listen to my problems and help me get through this. And i will do the same! Maybe this isn’t a real reason to think of suicide because other people have it way worse but i still think of it. I get good grades in school but that doesn’t really seem to help or matter. I don’t live in the country i was born in. People are racist to me because of my nationality. They call me names and tell me to f back to my country. I can’t take this anymore but i don’t really want to commit suicide.

  22. I don’t have anyone to talk about this in my life. I will kill myself, I’ve wanted this for a very long time, 6 or 7 years (I’m 21 years old), I’m waiting till my mom dies, I don’t wanna ruin her life (my sister and father don’t really care that much about me). There’s no future, not a chance of happiness…and I’m tired of all this, I don’t know when this happened but I am broken and alone. I’m just too tired.

    • Try calling a hotline Ana, it can help x

  23. Sigh everything was ok , just another day I went to wrk to be lied on by a 90 yearold female it’s so unfair , all I can say is why me now am looking at jail are misdemeanor. What’s the reason for living if you can’t just go about your life without someone messing it up.

    • Take responsibility. For your. Actions and stop. Blaming

  24. Doesn’t help me at all

  25. Sometimes reading a blog isn’t enough help. That’s why TheHopeLine is open 24/7. Our trained HopeCoaches want to help you. Please reach out and give us a call. TheHopeLine: 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE)

  26. Everyone who I try to talk to just think I’m crazy when I’m not, I’m just hurt soo much to the extent that nothing feels possible anymore, to that point were life was just my enemy, and death was my only hope out of this infrerno.I’ve been debating about this for awhile now, and everyday that goes on is one more day I lose hope and there isn’t much hope left, I have everything planned but I don’t want to end up a disappointment or a coward that’s what my dad says people who do suicide are but I just think it’s people who are hurt and don’t know how to express it and we are too scared to do so.

  27. My life is falling apart. I am old at 47. I married a jerk a few years ago he ruined my life. I had never been married before it was a big mistake. He acted so sweet and nice and changed into a monster after the wedding. .
    He is a sociopath and has turned what few family members (even my parents who know he emotionally abuses me) and friends I had against me. He has turned all his family and friends against me. They used to love me. They tell me they hate me now. Tell me off about things I never said!! I try to tell them I didn’t say it, they don’t believe me. Why would they? he is so evil
    when we first met he persuaded me to give up a job I loved ( (overnight counselor for troubled teens). I was so stupid and naive to believe him. He said it was too far away. (50 miles) I left the job.
    He tells me now that he didn’t like me working there with the male staff at night?! he is jealous paranoid narcissist. I have had several horrible jobs since then.
    I finally found what I thought was good job four months ago; autistic teens at a school. Great kids! But coworkers viscous awful won’t train me I have to practically beg for training. I have seen bosses aboyt this. They feel bad but can’t help. I can’t go to another job. I can’t keep job hopping but the job I feel like I’m abused there too. One guy nice to me helps me out others scorn him for it. IBe never had trouble with coworkers until I met him. My husband has been a giant curse on my life.
    He has driven me to utter despair. I have nothing. No money to leave. No family no friends. I cry all the time.
    I tried to go back to my old job they said I didn’t give enough notice they wanted four weeks!! notice not two weeks that I gave.
    all these bad things keep happening. All I want is a stable job and to leave my husband and find some support again. I had a good friend she died right after I met my jerk husband. I miss her so much
    I made one new friend a few months ago. In similar domestic situation as mine. She left her abusive guy and she offered for me to come stay with her in her new apartment. then she started hitting on me! What is going on in my life?? My hope is that I can survive and laugh at this some day but right now I just want to die.
    I have a plan I am
    Pathetic and no one Will miss me.
    I used to have such a good life.
    . No one can survive with no friends no support and bad situations in every area of your life. Everyone needs some love and support from somewhere.
    If I had a good home life or great job or good supportive family just one good thing. All I know is that everything was ok until he came along. I wish he would kill me but yes too much a coward I think. But who knows. Every time I say I hate him and want to seperate he becomes furious.
    I was a good person. I worked with the disabled and really loved them. I loved my parents, trusted my husband, was always there for my friends when they had a problem. I have nothing now. Drag myself to work cry all day come home and sleep.
    I used to live to read watch tv and play with my cats. All I do now is cry and sleep.
    My stupid husband says he cares but then tells me he has a $100,000 life insurance on me. I hope he can’t collect if I suicude. The only reason I am still here is my three cats who I love and he mistreats if I die he will get them. I might try to place them in a foster place for cats if I decide I cant take it anymore.
    I’m sorry to go on so long. I needed to tell someone.
    I’m sorry for the long and pathetic story. I wasn’t akways this way. I made some really bad choices. That led to this. Be careful of the choices thst u make.
    Please send some positive energy my way. Some good thoughts. I send good thoughts and prayers to all of you out there that are suffering. People who feel like we do are the good people!! We love too much care too much, can’t turn our emotions off. Don’t give up. There has to be hope somewhere.
    Pray for me
    Susan

  28. I do not believe that pain is temporary. I have felt like this for so long…years in fact…i have tried everything and nothing works…it is time to die. I am 46 and have accomplished nothing. From the time i wake up till i go to sleep all i feel is anxiety, depression, and strong disdain towards everyone i meet. I DO NOT BELONG HERE. TIME TO DIE.

  29. I am strong and hope that I will never give up on life but when suicidal thoughts get into the brain and persist every waking hour, they present an inevitability. . But the pain it would cause others is phenomenal. I don’t want to die but see how easy it would be. No meds, ect or talking treatment have helped. I’ve spent hours talking to the lovely well meaning people on the phone lines. It’s getting difficult to live with myself. I’ve tried everything and run out of options, but I must keep on. It’s only God and myself now who can help.

  30. im 20 years old from tunisia my story just like drama i used to be such a smart , tallented person … i used to be first in school ! i speak , english , italien , french , arabic !! i lived in a warm familly ! and clutuered . i geuss everyone want to live the life i have … ok what else i can say ! i passed to universty . i’m a gentil good looking men. i had girls , parties whatever. i lived the life that any men in my age looking for. i failed the first year in universty my family are shocked. i wanted to quit and join the army, but they didn’t allow me. They insist that i return again, but i hate engineering stuff i don’t wanna be an engineer. i feel more talented in business and marketing issues so i wanted to go the united states where i can achieve my ambition. my family can’t afford it neither my poor country can give a scholorship. im depressed i failed my self my parents my friends they think i have a happy life cause i’m always smiling but inside i’m dying !! i wish i have the courage to end this life.

  31. Is there an email address as i hate talking on phone im feeling so suicidial

  32. Please, Susan. I know it seems so hard right now, with no way to escape, but please trust me when I tell you that you have so much to live for, and so much more to accomplish in your life. I’m 17. I was feeling completely depressed, which brought me to your comment. Please don’t give up. I know we don’t know each other, but if you ever need help or someone to talk to, please contact me.

    • I’ll pray for you Susan. Hang in there
      I, too, have no one except Allah Almighty (God).
      May God be with you.
      And remember Susan, the first step towards betterment IMO is to first forgive your own self.
      Bless u!
      xx

  33. We want you to know that you matter and you are loved and worthy. You are not alone in this. We are here to help. You can chat with a HopeCoach at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp A HopeCoach is available 24/7. You can also sign up for an Email mentor to talk about what is going on for as long as you like from our Get Help page too. We also have an app that you can chat or email from too at http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp

  34. im really depressed. and my mom doesnt understand she just gets mad at me and doesnt even BELIEVE in suicide someone help

  35. I’m so tired. I’m sick of just living day by day. The utter despair, emptiness, and lonliness. I want it to come to an end– one way or another. I don’t want to talk to anybody. I just want it to end. No one can help. I’ve been there trying to get help. Nothing works. My heart is far to numb and frozen to be open to anything. I feel like a walking corpse of death and despair. Please let this end. Eternal slumber. No despair, no nothing.

  36. I’m in the suicide boat 🙁

    • me too… 🙁

    • i am too… 🙁

  37. I wake up 5/7 days wanting to rather die, or cry until I fall back asleep. Both my parents suffer from bipolar disorder pretty bad and I wonder if that’s the reason, I have an amazing family, good home, and great friends…but none of this makes it better. I’m just..sad? for no reasons except that I don’t think I will ever get help, or be happy. Talking to someone wouldn’t help because they try to find the reason I feel like this, yet I can’t give a solid one, I tell myself I should be happy I’m alive and still…nothing

    • What you described are symptom of depression. It is not your fault you are feeling this way and it’s very important that you talk to your parents about how you are feeling as soon as possible. They should be very open to helping you find the resources you need since they have experienced similar feeling themselves. Thank you so much for coming to our blog and for seeking help. We are here if you want to chat with a HopeCoach anytime at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  38. Johanna,
    Please never give up on this life. There is hope. We are here to listen and help you get through this. Call 800.394.4673 or chat with a HopeCoach 24/7 at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  40. Is there classses or somewhere i can go u would recommend i really need to talk to someone?!!!!

  41. Can a person go to the ER for help

    • Yes, you can definitely go to the ER if you are feeling suicidal. Our HopeCoaches are available 24/7 to answer your questions. Call or chat now. 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE)

  42. Our HopeCoaches are available 24/7. Please call anytime 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE). They have lots of great resources for you. Also, you can go to our resource page on on the website that has a list of our trusted partner ministries- https://www.thehopeline.com/partners-list/

  43. I need help. I want help

  44. hi hope line,
    im thirteen years old and depressed. I have tried getting better many times. I can’t ask my parents for help because they are very against suicide and people suffering with depression, they aren’t open to it. I really need help and I don’t know how to get it, I’m afraid of what will happen if people find out I’m depressed, I won’t be able to go to school normally anymore, my parents will treat me worse and I’m just scared. I also have self diagnosed anxiety of which I am very sure I have it, making it hard for me to tell anybody, even my friends or siblings. I don’t know what to do and I need advice, because I have been very suicidal and I don’t know any other way to change this. this may be a bit of a confusing message, but I hope you people understand. I’m mainly just asking if you could help me.

    • Hey aurora-
      My story is somewhat similar. I started having trouble with both depression and anxiety around your age (turns out it’s really not uncommon for these problems to start in the early teens). I didn’t tell my parents for the same reasons, and tried to struggle thru by myself. I got really good at ignoring the problem, but I never let myself face it.
      I got thru high school and college bottling it all up, acting like everything was fine, putting on a really elaborate mask. I got lucky in that I finally found a few people (two, to be exact) that I felt like I could trust enough to let into what was going on in my life.
      I didn’t get help until I was twenty-three. I cycle, and generally feel much worse during the summer (mixed episodes). It got the point where I believed I wasn’t allowed to live until the end of 2014; then to where I had to kill myself at the end of September. I got frighteningly close before I realized I couldn’t bottle it up anymore.
      The point of telling you this is twofold. First, please find someone to talk to about these feelings, and address them properly. It doesn’t have to be your parents; if you have an aunt or uncle, clergyperson, friend’s parent…. whomever you can find to start getting the right help. Sometimes just being open and acknowledging these feelings helps more than anything, and you won’t feel so alone. Plus, I don’t want you doing what I did.. playing a role to cover up these problems is an exhausting way to live on top of the depression or anxiety. Aside from this, make sure you take time to take care of yourself. Get out in nature, express yourself in writing or art… your wellbeing is worth it.
      Second, you’re not alone. I know it feels like no one else can understand, but a lot of people have been in similar places. There’s a lot of people who go thru these problems who can live with them and still have fulfilling lives as well. You’re really strong for admitting what’s going on to begin with, and I hope that you’ll get some good support soon.

  45. Aurora, Thank you for sharing your struggle. Our HopeCoaches are available 24/7 on the telephone or through chat. They can listen and connect you with other resources to help you through this. We care about you! https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/

  46. I’m 31 years old with 2 beautiful children that I can’t take care of we are homeless and I think there lives would be much better off without me I have a brother who will take care of them they are leaving to go stay with him today I can’t live without my babies I’m going to kill myself when they leave me today

  47. Teresa, Please never give up! You have so much in your future that will bring you happiness and joy that you will never know about if you give up. This challenging place in your life is temporary. Your beautiful children need to grow up having a mother. You can chat with a HopeCoach 24/7 at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. We also have a partner you can contact for help They provide free and confidential information and referral and can help you find food, housing, employment, health care, counseling and more.Go to their site at: http://www.211.org/

  48. A contract for life doesn’t apply to me as I have no friends

  49. Hi. I know that feeling. I was just thinking the same thing today. Just know, you’re not alone in feeling that way.

  50. I lost my kids everything I love I lose I have no family nothing to look forward to in a mentality abused relationship no money homeless no where to turn I’m just tired of it all & wanna stop hurting I need a quick painless way to die

  51. It hurts to think you’ve failed everyone who you live with. It hurts me because I feel like I’m just invisible. I feel like I’m just a failure who can’t do anything right for once in my life. Being the last of 4 children can take a toll on you. You’re expected to be just as great as the others, but I can’t do it. I’ve pulled my hair out from the stress, I’ve cut, I’ve even thought of suicide until I finally talked to my friend. She saved my life. She didn’t judge me, she just let me cry and tell my problems. To me, she’s the best family I have.

  52. i`m very afraid to ask for help

  54. I’m suffocating.

  55. I know the feeling…would you like to talk? I’m here

  56. I don’t think all the suggestions would work in all kind of situations

  57. Hey, is this free?? I’d appreciate an answer asap..

    • Yes, it’s free! 🙂

      • Yesterday I tried. Nobody answered.

  58. i just cant do this any more i need to talk please i NEED HELP and i dont know what to do i dont want to be alive any more and i just want to sleep and never wake up again

  59. What should I do if I’m not aloud to get help???

  60. I really need help. this isn’t a joke. I’ve been all over the Internet looking for the easiest ways to do it. I’ve hurt so bad for the past year. idk what to do. I don’t wanna chat with a stranger on a hotline. I have no one I am comfortable with to chat to. I’m loosing my mind and idk what to do. I can’t keep hurting every day like this anymore. don’t look me up on fb or anything please. I don’t want family knowing. I just wanna find ways to make it stop. it’s killing me

  61. Sitting here about to get in the tub just wanted someone to talk with before I get in and say goodbye

  62. I want to call to get help but i know if i do they will send the police and bring me to a mental hospital… not something im going to do

    • Me too

    • honestly it depends on how confident in you they are regarding your safety. if you prove to be unsafe then you might have that happen. but honestly it depends on you.

  63. I find no joy in life… I find no meaning…. And i don’t like talking to people, I find people annoying. I don’t have anyone close to me either.

  64. Sometimes life isn’t worth living

  65. in south africk there are not many places to seek help i no i have tryed getting help but now i am done trying i am ready to quit

  66. I just hate my life..I have no one in my life..
    My parents gave me away at birth and the lady they gave me to gave me away and then she gave me away I got beat almost every day of my life and I get verbally abused everyday of my life.all the guys I’ve been with used me for sex and then cheated on me I’ll never be love

    • Jesus loves you he knows your pain give it to him when you feel this way, he gave his life for you. Not only to save you from hell but to give you a new life, a happier life. He will give you the love that you have never had.

    • Taylor do you mind if I ask how old you are? I have the same thoughts you do as well .. I wasnt giving up at birth but i was still born meaning death at birth I guess u can say god wanted me to live so he gave me a second life .. after 20 mintues i was breathing.. i was always made fun of and always treated badly most times never had food on the table parents were always fighting .. until they got a divorce when i was very very young.. . i think about why my parents were never there for me and why i was giving this life for the 2nd time .. i do love my self but at the same time i hate myself because of my thoughts and my ability to not focus on what god has created for me i hate myself because i feel i should be loved and wanted i feel like i deserve to be happy and i hate myself at sometimes because of the pain and heart break i cant let go off but yet try so hard to let go .. .. i know one day i will look back at this life i live and think to myself dammm jessi u wasted ur life of not being happy u made urself that way .. you deserve everything u are giving from here on out and u deserve to love ur self .. who cares if anyones else dont u are for urself .. perk up and be happy u deserve to live ur life dont worry about what others think of u u will find ur true love and u will be happy .. i know i am on that road and i will not let satan win this battle i am here for the ride and i will accomplish my goal of getting what i deserve and want .. just hope it dont take me until my death bed to it .. i dont want to die i want to live i want to be able to see the smile of the faces of the ppl i can make happy .. i want to live and you know what taylor .. u need to look in the mirror and say its going to be a great day i am going to go out and love my self dance the night away dont let men use u and abuse u .. i dont even know u and i think ur awesome …

  67. i want to kill myself, im really tired of all these things happening to me i just cant handle it anymore i dont want to live further anymore and i cant think of any way to escape except dying

    • you still here? please?

  68. I’m hurting so bad. i’m on the edge

  69. I’m so done

  70. I want to die! Ive lost everything i had and i cant see any way forward, i tried to kill myself with a suicide bag yesterday but someone stopped me and i know its only a matter of time before i do it again

  71. Sometimes I feel like ending it all over a guy. 🙁 Meaning, I like this guy so much to the point of me not seeing myself with anyone else besides him. Sadly, nothing will ever blossom in between us in this lifetime as we’re states apart. Basically, just wanna end it all if I can’t be with the guy whom I have strong feelings for. 🙁

  72. Maybe I want to die because this world is cruel horrible and prisoners get more help for the bad they have done and the rest are left to struggle with no job fear of going no where in life and punished on a daily basis for just being in this world sooner it ends the better

    • No kidding. It so isn’t worth it. I “accidentally” got pregnant and thought I was moving toward “a family”, isn’t that what we are supposed to do? That was 4 1/2 years ago and it was the worst mistake I ever made. I tried to kill myself a year after I had her and after a bottle of pills I was stupid and apparently called 911. Now I’m on more meds u can imagine, my kid sees this and watched me miserable every day. How does she deserve that? I can’t even care about her either

  73. I feel less alone when I read this. I see a lot of people feel the same way. I moved across the country. My child did badly in school, was angry and violent. I was stunned. I withdrew him and homeschooled him, left my job. That caused financial problems. My mom died. My car got repossessed. I am behind on my rent. I dropped out of college. I have thoughts of suicide but I am a wife, mother, a sister, daughter and friend. When I think of the pain it would cause, I hang on. But sometimes the pain and fear is overwhelming. It is so hard to fight your own mind.

  74. This organization’s located in USA, what to do if you’re in an Asian country that doen’st provide and Suicide help? I feel like dying so many times… Wanting to just be in the Heaven by Holy Father’s side.. :’)

  75. TheHopeLine chat system translates in ANY language in ANY country and we have resources all over the world. Please chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 – https://www.thehopeline.com/chat-now/

  76. Hey guys …um I have came at peace with the fact that I shall end my own life eventually.
    I dislike my dysfunctional family . We used to be a happy family with memory -creating days every day. But my mother had an affair on my dad and now we’re all broken up. I’ve been to 9 different schools in 4 years and I hate it ..constantly attempting to make new “friends”. I often think find myself thinking of gunning down the school for humility that I have endured over the years . I tried hanging my self but i always find myself stopping because of the pain on my throat…..I need to find out how to acquire a gun to put an end to this thing called “life”. My father got remarried and my mother went extra religious on me when little does she know got isn’t real. I uncovered this reality check throughout my years of suffering and no break gained. I have even been saving my virginity for marriage because of the bible (I’m a male and had opportunities) and what do I get …This

  77. is it wrong that i’m only 13 and want to try for a third time?

  78. It’s time to end it. I’ve been through the therapy, the meds and everything. My life just continues to spiral down and everything I touch or come near turns to crap. So by this time tomorrow I am going to be gone

    • Hope you are feeling better than when you posted

  79. I am so sorry you couldn’t get through. Our online and mobile chat system is the best way to talk to a HopeCoach – the phone lines can get tied up. Please try again – http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  80. Living with depression since I was seven yeara old, I’m at the point of finally gonna end my life. I have no friends, my so called “friends” are not always there. My family labels me with names such as weirdo, Emo, fat ass and etc. I try my best do ignore and forget about it but I can’t. I have the urge of killing myself so I would stop being a burden for every one. I have no social life and I don’t have a relationship with no one. I have a really bad low-self esteem, growing with beautiful sisters and yet i was the one who people always bullying . I have no one to listen to me yet I’m always there for them.

    • I grew up with beautiful sisters too. It is so hard. No one knows how hard it is until you’ve experienced it. I was a nerd. My sisters were the prom queens. Everyone used to say, “Your sisters are so beautiful! You look nothing like them!” They always called me “the Japanese one.” We’re half Caucasian half Japanese, but for some reason all my sisters turned out looking super beautiful and I turned out looking full Japanese. One of my sisters and I had a conversation when we were kids about how I was the ugliest girl in the family. My sisters are so beautiful–one is a bikini model; one did pageants; another was recruited for modeling when she was at the beach. It’s so hard not to hate myself and not to hate how I look. I wish so badly that I could be very beautiful. I hate looking so Asian. My two most serious boyfriends hit on my little sister. I hate my life sometimes. I feel trapped that no matter what I do I cannot change my face. I was born with the body I was born with. I see so many beautiful girls. Why couldn’t God make me more beautiful? Why did I have to be the ugly one in the family? It feels so unfair.
      At the same time I’ve been able to find some peace and happiness in life by moving away from my family, making friends with people whose values and personalities are more similar to mine, and focusing on doing things that bring me joy–studying, learning, traveling, eating delicious food, making music, dancing. I may not be able to look the way I want to, but if I forget about how I look and just do fun stuff I can sometimes feel better. I don’t think it’s the best way to handle it, but I’ve also been leaning towards not having any romantic relationships so I can’t get hurt again. I don’t do well with them. I seem to feel happier and more confident when I’m single with no one to tell me my physical imperfections and trying to change me.

  81. I’m feeling really stuck. It feels like everyone is turning against me right now and that I have no one to talk to. All this drama keeps happening to me and I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I am really afraid of what next would be happening and I no longer want to even be alive anymore. I should just kill myself I would be better off. I think that would maybe make me happy or do someone a favor. I have no friends at school and I don’t have the most well off situation that most have at home, and my parents died. I am thinking that I am coming close to ending my life…

    • Please contact us and chat with a HopeCoach – we are here for you 24/7 and we care about you! Chats are free and totally anonymous. https://www.thehopeline.com/chat-now/

  82. How long is temporary? It’s nearly been a year of me wanting to kill myself every single day and i am so tired of thinking this way. I’m trying so hard to get better and be happy, but it’s not working… How long do i keep trying before i get to call it quits?

    • Yeah what’s stopping you ? Mine is hell … I don’t wanna go to hell

    • Why reason to go on, the pain is not temporary,it will never end, Good bless you all, my friend’s and have a safe journey through life, Goodbye

      • Please don’t mean what I think you mean by this comment. Because if you do, DON’T DO IT!!!! YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK!!!!!! DO NOT DO ANYTHING THAT IS PERMANENT, YOU WILL REGRET IT!!!!!! DX

  83. Chatting with a HopeCoach about how you are feeling could help you find insight and hope into your situation. We are here for you 24/7 online – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

    • I am 20 and have lived with depression/anxiety since I was 16 I am on 100mg of sertreline and they did help for a while on and off but this suicidal thought is persistent and won’t go, I have tried therapy( not for me) and speaking to my doctor but nothing seems to change what should I do

      • sertreline made me severely suicidal and it nothing would help.. hope this helps

      • Sometimes it takes multiple tries to get a medication right. Please don’t give up. Some medications can actually make a young person more suicidal or cause more depression, so it might be time for a switch. Or perhaps you need a higher dosage. And if your current doctor doesn’t help you, find someone who will.

  84. I hate my life right now……

    • I hate mine too. I hate the way I am and the way I think. I just don’t feel like I belong any where. I don’t have anyone to talk to… But maybe if we hold on just a little bit longer, there will be a light at the end of the dark tunnel.

  85. I need some help before I lose my mind…..

  86. I want to kill myself, like right now! 🙁

  87. Seems like there’s no way out…. I’ve being suicidal for almost 8 years today I’m not emotional destresssed about my taughts … I just want it all to be over.gi

  88. There really isnt always a way for me to take away dangers, I’ve been suicidal multiple times and one of the times I was near my staircase. I climbed and jumped over the staircase and as I was about to fall, I grabbed on. I didn’t mean to grab on, it was just a part of me that forced it to happen. My hands were slipping off the staircase and hurting badly from the way I grabbed the staircase, I knew it was now or never when my hands almost fell. I decided to climb up, but please help, I know this may happen again with something else.

  89. I feel like killing myself because anyone that talks to me replaces me after a while nobody needs me

    • That sucks, I know the feeling… I could disappear and no one would miss me. Really they are all so busy and consumed with semantic trivial things. I don’t know unless they suffer in
      Silence also.

      • Are you still there? Sorry for not responding. Is everything better now? Darren?

    • I know exactly how you feel! And ending it could make them feel guilty for disregarding us… But even though it might be hard, we need to stay strong.

    • Sorry to hear that… What do you mean?

    • I feel the same way. Everyone gone and life went to *. Just feel like no one going to miss me. I keep everthing to myself

    • I feel the same way but I feel I’m taking up space

    • I understand that feeling. How do you feel about the concept of waiting and keeping trying until you DO find that person who you need and who needs you.
      Sometimes I feel like therapy in this situation helps because the therapist definitely needs you because without you, they won’t have a job. Have you looked into therapy? It’s an amazing source granted you find the right therapist for you.

    • I understand the same thing happens with me and I decide to do drugs because that’s what makes me take my mind off of it i don’t have many people that act like they care or talk to me at any point in the day

  90. It’s not fair that you have someone enter your life who without and prediction ruins you completely. This life is useless. I know I will kill myself very soon without help. I don’t even think anyone in my life (won’t say cares bc that doesn’t even exist) will even think I’d do it again…..I can’t wait

  91. Hi
    Is anyone there

  92. Yesterday was my grandpas funeral. he was the only relative who didn’t hate me for who i was and now hes dead. i just want to make it all stop it hurts so much.

  93. I don’t know what to do my family just found out to day that I wanted to kill myself. I feel like the will see me differently now that I have feelings of wanting to kill myself

  94. In my case is more than 30 years and counting……

  95. Proud of you for communicating with your family. They will hopefully want to help now that they know you are hurting. If you want to talk about it, our HopeCoaches are avilable to chat online with you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  96. I’ve been taken anti depressants for about three years but I’ve never felt as low I do right know. Just walking round town, you only notice all the smiling and laughing people and this makes you feel worse and worse. Just trying to hold back the tears when I’m driving home, and thinking why am I feeling like this, nice car, flat, decent job. It makes NO sense, then you start thinking you are weak and should be getting over it. Then a part of you says but it IS an illness this make no difference to you, you still feel empty.
    I feel I have nothing to look forward to, I feel I’m rarely happy which must be effecting the people I work with. At work I try and perk up by drinking lots of coffee. but I feel my colleagues try to avoid talking to me, then I think am I just being paranoid…. there must be something..
    The drugs don’t work. Maybe therapy works, not tried it.
    The only thing I’m weighing up is whether I can just end my life, BUT how it will effect my family. They have tried to help as much as they can, but I feel at the end of the day this is MY choice and I may take it.

    • Please don’t give up! Depression is truly an illness and sometimes it takes time to find the right medicine that works for your body chemistry. And talking to someone is really important. You can chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 – it is free and confidential. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ I know it feels really hopeless right now, but things really can get better. Let’s talk about it.

  97. I just really am thinking about killing myself for real this time my parents are gone it could work they wouldnt find me till tomorrow…

  98. I don’t even want to get better. I don’t want a better life. I don’t want a solution. I just want to be dead.

  99. I feel like there is no way out. I feel worthless..useless and have no life. I am told this constantly. What do I do?

  100. I don’t want to live in this sick cruel world full of such bad people and horrible experiences. I don’t see the point in carrying on. I was always told growing up that if you’re a good person and do good things, that good would come to you. Well that’s Bullsh*t!!! And if I hear one more person say: God won’t give you anything that you can’t handle. Or God has a plan for you. I will scream if I hear any of that BS ever again. From the time I was born into this world, all I have known is horrific abuse, fear and pain. My younger brother also died when I was younger. Maybe he was the lucky one??? My father was a monster. I had the worst ulcers by the time I was in elementary school from all of the fear and anxiety I felt on a daily basis from all of the abuse. Since growing up, I’ve been in abusive relationships as well. One man almost killed me in one of his rages when he kept beating me in the back of the head. A restraining order didn’t even help. Sometimes I have felt lucky I got away, but I think to myself, maybe I should’ve let him kill me, to make all of the pain stop. I’ve tried many different anti-depressants, anti anxiety meds, therapy, meditating, etc, but nothing helps. I cry so hard at night and beg god to not let me wake up. I was even robbed and they stole my purse, car, etc. My daughter was also raped by a boy at her school, which I can’t handle. I love her so much and she’s the reason for living. My only reason. But she is 18 now and lives with her boyfriend. I rarely see her and feel like she’s stronger than me and she will be fine without me. I know you will think it’s selfish of my to want to kill myself, but I can’t keep feeling this way. Day after day… month after month… year after year. Painting on a smile for the world, while being tortured by all of this internal pain. It’s pure torture. I’m in my 30s now, so I know this won’t go away. I tried killing myself as a teenager and it didn’t work. I tried swallowing a ton of pills months ago and it didn’t work. I feel like I’m cursed to a life of pain. My parents are A holes and I don’t feel close to anyone. I tend to keep people at a certain distance. But seriously though, if I’m doing everything right with therapy and everything else out there that there is to offer, then why do I still want to kill myself??? I can’t stand this sick cruel world anymore or all of the sick horrible things that have happened to me. Nothing makes me feel better and I would rather kill myself than do heroin or any hard drug to numb the pain. I’d rather die than become what I despise in this world. Maybe I should go shoot my daughter’s rapist before I die. That’s a nice thought. That sick fck doesn’t deserve to live. I honestly can’t deal with all of this pain inside anymore. I barely leave the house, I don’t have a job anymore and I’ve alienated myself from my so called superficial friends, who aren’t real friends anyway. This world if full of horrible disgusting people and I’m just tired… so tired of living like this. I’m not going to call some number and please don’t preach to me about being selfish either. You don’t know the amount of hell I’m tortured with on the inside. Isn’t it selfish to ask me to keep going thru this, day after day???? I’ve been in therapy for years. It doesn’t help. Nothing does…

  101. Thank you for sharing your story and for your honesty. It sounds like you are in a really dark, hurting, and lonely place right now. We aren’t here to preach, but to listen, understand, and lend you our support. HopeCoaches are real people who have been through traumas of their own and can listen with real compassion. Our chat system is through text messages or online. It’s free, confidential, and open 24/7. We really are here for you. Please give us a try. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  102. I’m not going to mention my life story because unlike most, I don’t want the attention. However, you need to understand that this just isn’t enough. Sometimes nothing can stop the thoughts. I came here fro help with dealing with those, but you don’t understand that your helpful tips are absolutely useless

    • I am glad you are reaching out. We understand that each person’s story is unique and one blog is not going to help everyone. That is why we offer more than just this one blog. We have trained HopeCoaches who are available to chat with you one-on-one anytime 24/7. All chats are free and confidential. Our HopeCoaches have experience, wisdom, and compassion. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Please give us a try.

  103. I want to kill myself I have no hope no one understands me and how much pain I have it hurt sooooooo bad that sometimes I just cry out of no where this isn’t just mental pain it’s physical when I get in the moment my heart starts hurting legit, I can’t deal with this anymore I want to kill myself but I’m scared and I don’t even know what I live with this constantly every second of my life. I am homeschool I have no life I don’t see anyone and my parents dont let me do anything it’s like I’m being held hostage. My stepmom is very controlling. I am being held agaijnst my will I never hang out with anyone because I have no friends and everytime I want something my parents just bring up bad things I’ve done in the past like why should we give you this if you have done this I’m so done with it. There is sooooooooo much more but I’m done I can’t write anymore

  104. I just dumped the girl I thought was the one because I know she is too good for me. My body feels numb and my eyes feel heavy but I just want to end it so I don’t have to carry this pain until I am buried. Then I shall have the weight of the earth pressing down .. No more worries and no more pain I will cause.

  105. I dont know why i even looked for something like this. I want to die i have nothing to look forward to in my life no dreams no hopes nothing. Death is the only thing that could help me.

  106. I’m done. All that is listed above is have done. My closet friends left, I just cut myself up so much that it no longer numbs the pain I give up

  107. I hate myself and I tried to get help from one of my closes friends. They stopped talking to me and thought I was seeking attention and/or effection. He never replied. I need help I guess… though every time I call the hotline they don’t help me. ._. and the comments in Yahoo Answers is ALWAYS, “you’re beautiful! don’t do it! Life will get better!” I’m sick of this crap. I want REAL help……..
    ……..i hate myself to pieces………
    ……for a lot of reasons that i’m willing to tell someone who will help me…..

  108. We will definitely help you! We have an online chat system that is open 24/7, it’s free and confidential. We have HopeCoaches who are ready to listen and help. We are here for you – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  109. Please don’t give up. You are in a really difficult and very negative situation. We can connect you with an email mentor who will support and encourage you. We have other resources, too. Chat with us anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/

  111. You are right that just reading a blog is not enough. It really helps to talk to someone. We can also connect you with real resources and more support. Please chat with a HopeCoach https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We are here for you 24/7.

  112. I just feel like dying , the only thing that keep me from doing is hell, if i die i’ll have to suffer for eternity in hell but even here i’m in pain mentally . If God is all powerful why can’t he uncreate me , I do not wish to exist here on earth nor on the other side …. I wish I never lived …

  113. Tired of people leaving me walking out my life without no explanation , being lied to . Just ready for it to all end !

    • What you are going through is very hard, especially when you feel abandoned and isolated from people you thought you could trust. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who cares. We are here for you 24/7 on chat https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ Please don’t give up.

  114. None of this would ever help i still feel like cutting myself and ending it all

  115. It sounds like you are in a really dark place of hopelessness right now. We want to chat with you. Sometimes talking to someone who cares can help. We have HopeCoaches available 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ Let us be there in your darkness with you.

  116. I understand one blog may not make a difference, but how about hearing someone else’s story? In our eBook you can listen to people share their story and how they got help. Also, it helps to talk to someone about your feelings. Our HopeCoaches are here to chat with you anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Here is the link to the free eBook – https://info.thehopeline.com/selfharm
    We care about you!

  117. No one cares I’m gay and God hates me Christians bully me IV attempted four times hospital never helped

    • No, God does not hate you.
      The Christians who bully you are a disgrace to their own beliefs. The bible clearly states that those who judge harshly shall be judged harshly. Why are they contradicting their own religion and then using text from a different belief system to justify their actions?
      Keep fighting. You deserve to be happy. Thank you for coming here and sharing how you feel. <3
      Good luck.
      ~ Someone who cares.

  118. I caused this. I screwed up at work, had to resign, and will never be hired by anyone again. I was unethical and no one will ever hire me. No one. I have nothing now. I am useless, worthless, and a disgrace to myself, my family, and to God. I need to kill myself because then everyone won’t have to deal with my crap again. They can be free from me.

    • Hello Anon. Let me begin by letting you know that you are not a disgrace, you are a beautiful, unique human being who did what every other person on the planet does… you made a mistake. While the way you feel is extremely unpleasant, it is 100% normal and you don’t have to feel ashamed for having these thoughts and emotions.
      I do not believe in God, but the God that I was told about by my closest friend would never disapprove of you or the way you acted. He loves you. He can see inside your heart, see beyond all your self-doubt and see the amazing person you are underneath.
      Believe me when I say you can get through this. I know it’s hard. But I promise it’s worth the fight in the end.
      Depression is cruel. It gets in your head and messes up your thoughts, making it seem like everyone hates you or wants you gone. But I promise that this can be no further from the truth.
      You’re important, to me, to the people around you, and (if he really is listening to us right now) to God.
      Good luck. I hope you give yourself the chance you deserve. <3

  119. I have been living with depression since 11 years old. im now 35 completely stuck, and dont know what to do. Can anyone please help me?

    • Yes, we can help. Depression can worsen over time and increase in intensity because of life circumstances, but there is help. Let us hear your story and we can connect you with the best resources. You are not alone, we are here for you – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

    • talk to me.

  120. I understand how you feel. I am a wedlock baby and sometimes feel that I don’t belong on this earth. I often get irritated with God for allowing my mother to get pregnant with me. You may have made a mistake by having a child when you weren’t ready. But sweetie, because you have a daughter, live life. She doesn’t want to see her mom go. Maybe it was an act of God that you just so happened to call 911 when you attempted suicide.

  121. My contract partner is the one causing the pain. I am tired of fighting to live. I’m not killing myself to get away from a situation or person, I’m killing myself to get away from all the responsibilities of my 57yr life. I may not have any feelings once I’m done but I know I won’t feel this tired and feel like I am the engine of every train. I am mom of the special needs child, wife of a clueless really nice husband, and I work like a dog for anybody I ever work for, I volunteer in organize events, I will help represent special-needs people in court as just a courtesy and pro bono. I do everything and people are more than happy to have me do it because I’m good at whatever I do. I’m done doing everything.

    • It’s completely natural for you to feel the way you do. It’s not fair of everyone to expect you to do everything for them, especially when you have your own child and yourself to take care of. Rather than take your own life and destroy your chances of ever feeling happy again, why don’t you try to detach yourself from all the responsibility and instead dedicate a weekend to yourself? It’s amazingly selfless of you to volunteer in so many events and speak for those with special needs (I have special needs myself, autism, and I personally thank you for your support and kindness in place of those who cannot) but you should care about yourself, too. You matter. I want you to opt out of anything you possibly can and try to take a lot off your plate. If you haven’t told your husband about how you feel, perhaps you should? He might be able to offer support that only someone who knows you really well can. 🙂
      You’re important, and you’ve done amazing work. Give yourself a reward for it rather than abandoning all hope. I completely understand why you’d want to step out, but I honestly don’t think that’s ever a good option, especially when you deserve a life full of happiness, surrounded by the people who love you.
      I can’t control your actions, obviously, these are all just suggestions. But I hope you at least give yourself a chance. Good luck. Keep fighting. You’ve been doing an excellent job so far, just keep it going for a little bit longer and I promise everything will be better. I know it seems really unfair that some people have bumpier roads to travel than others, but life is unpredictable and hazardous. Despite it’s challenges, I believe life is far better than death.
      Thank you for reading.
      ~ Someone who geniunely cares.

      • Thank you so very much. I cannot even express to you how much I appreciate your kind words. The cloud is lifting, and I am feeling better, thanks for listening to my cries for help. Still crying but not as often, trying to take care of myself first.

  122. My life is torture why would I not quit.

  123. I’m a 19 year old who works at tj max. I go to college, have a car. But I’ve been depressed for a very long time. I don’t feel like I fit in. I think about a lot of stuff and say “what’s the point?” Idk man. You’re reading this because you’re probably bored. I just wanted to put my last few words out somewhere. If you’re in my situation then God may be with you. Till another time world

    • Hey man, you still there?

  124. I’m slowly dying. But this will be the end

  125. i dont know what to do im lost people say im to young to die (im 14)online on a game i go to it feels like im stuck in a cycle i cant escape the loop every day im so alone
    i hate myself more when i cut i ve tried not to its so hard everyday i blast my ears out with music so i can block out unwanted thoughts its not always very success full i just recently ive looked at a few websites but none of them let me talk to some one anomalously i cant let my parents know….they have enough to worry about
    i never thought my life would take this turn it started so slowly but before i knew it
    i was lost and alone i didn’t know where to go sometimes i want to talk to people other times i want push them away i only have 1 friend in real life who is so so happy but im so confused i spend so much time on how she can be so happy shes practically flying on her own happy sun i have so many questions but but i feel like no one actually cares if i die or stay but every day i feel worse im losing sleep
    i feel so bad at my lowest in the days i feel so sick to my stomach and start to shake i forget about everything and only think of my self harm and how peace full it would be to die im just so sick and tired of pain my life the hate angry feelings bottled up i feel like im so close to snapping like ill just lose it all
    i belie that im not missing out on anything my life is nothing ….. i have no value
    im just getting more tried and thinking of overdosing . i never asked for this
    have i done something wrong whats wrong with me?? whats the point of my life cuz i dont understand it at all

  126. I’ve almost killed myself with pills and even a knife. But I’ve never been able to really do it because I always think of what will happen if I do it. I have a sucky life. Maybe not as bad as others but bad all the same. My dad is in jail and has been since I was in the second grade. He will still be in there by the time I have a kid(s) and am married. He won’t walk me down the isle like I’ve always dreamed of. My mom is mentally I’ll and won’t seek help. She lives in in her car with her boyfriend. They spend almost whatever money they get on cigarettes. I live with a grandma who throws things when she gets mad at me. And a sister who is almost never around because she has a boyfriend now. I have another grandma who never let’s me be me. And a grandpa who says bad words and yells at me. When I was younger my stepmother would abuse me and my stepsister was always telling on me even when I didn’t do anything and most of the time I never did. And my dad didn’t even know and I don’t think he does now either. And he might still love her. I have a brother I never get to see and I really want to. I’m fat, ugly, and suck at pretty much everything. I have a sucky life and there is so much more to this than what I just shared. I try to keep going. And everyday I come a little bit closet to ending it……

  127. I have also feeling about sucide

  128. Sometimes I would talk to a stranger someone I did know and thy didn’t know me.when I was 14 I live on the street homeless and sometimes no food to eat I was in a very dark place. But I talked to stranger cause they didn’t know me an they would help me fine food.i know you feel alone but have you try to volunteer at your local Shelter.and there is nothing wrong with you you just need some guidance an pointed in the right direction. I also went to job crop just to get away from my family.which I love cause I got to make a lot of my own decision bye myself so don’t give up now.

  129. Riyahj, You are not alone. We are here to help you through this. Chat with one of our HopeCoaches anytime…day or night about what’s going on in your life at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

    • Ok

  130. i can feel myself rotting away. my mind, my inner person, my spirit–everything. its so hard to smile anymore. i cant comprehend feelings. i feel numb. (well, not exactly numb–like a hard, prodding sensation of confusion, paranoia, discord… but not exactly pain. i feel dead. i cant laugh anymore. now, diverting away from this nihilistic torrent, ill explain some backstory. about a year ago–around the time summer began–i was… simply… happy. confident, outgoing, charming, witty, and overall pleased and content with myself. thinking back on those moments makes my head hurt. i dont know how to dig myself out of this hole, yet i keep wandering around in my head–a ghost, haunting my own memories. i feel dead. i tell myself that there’s hope and that the person who was loved by everyone is the same person that lives today. nonetheless, everything has changed for me. no one notices me, and im too awkward and dimwitted to strike up any interesting conversation. im the living embodiment of a failed abortion. i dont want to give in, but i feel like ive lost myself. i dont even know who i am anymore.

  131. also, i want people to talk to again. im so afraid of being alone. i hate it. i hate being alone with my thoughts. i feel like i have to fight to even get one person to acknowledge me, so recently, ive stopped trying altogether. however, this drives me further into depression, as i feel helpless to my situation. i seem to push away everyone i meet. people just dont think im interesting anymore and walked away.

  132. I feel like this all the time. But im too scared to do so.

  133. What do you do when you feel like you have nothing left? You feel everything in your life slowly start slipping through your fingers. You feel like you’re a both and no one needs you anymore, you’re always in the way. You feel like you’re being suffocated and can’t breathe from all of the stress. Why should I live when I don’t have any reasons to…

  134. Please please don’t give up. There is hope and help. Please chat with us anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We care about you and want to help you get back to that place of happiness and confidence.

  135. Hey everyone. Just wanted to share my feelings with you. I am bipolar, and i am no stranger to suicidal thoughts. Everyday is a struggle, every week an emotional roller coaster that won’t stop as long as i am alive. But i am not giving up, you know why ? This is my life, i will fight for it, i will struggle for it, and i won’t let a small part of my brain dictate how and when the rest of my brain and my body should cease to function. No matter what happens, i will march on, and so should you. Life is full of wonderful things, and is too precious to waste away. Just think about all you have to offer to the rest of the world, and all the world has yet to offer you. Do not let a disease take over of your life, give it all you have, and in the end you will be happy that you did. When the whole world comes crashing down on you and you see no other way out other than to take that one way street, take a deep breath, and tell yourself to stick around for a while, you might see something you like !
    Love, H.

  136. I have no reason to live. Nobody likes me. My parents and siblings hate me. No one cares about me or anything I’m going through. I have no friends at school. I wish someone I know would talk to me about my terrible life. Or just give me a hug…

  137. I am in a violent relationship everyone knows the police know my parents know due to there being so many Break ups and police called I always go back despite what’s been done and said its like they have a control over me and know that if they beg enough I’ll be back the longest had been 4 week break up for the 100 th time iv even ran from my own home I have kids and now I feel the only we I can be free is to hang myself but thinking of my children has stopped me in the past now I’m not sure sure it’s enough. As bad as that sounds I feel pointless hopeless I tell people and I’ll I get is your selfish and you won’t do it you don’t have the balls thinking I’m attention seeking I’m not ! I’m asking for help please please help me I have told doctors everything I m on antidepressants that’s all they ever do throw pills at me

    • Please don’t give up!!!!! I hear your desperation. Please chat with a HopeCoach now – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ It’s free and it’s private. We are here for you.

  138. We care! We want to encourage you and support you. Please chat with a HopeCoach. We are here for you 24/7 and it’s free and private – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  139. I’m stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship, have been depressed for many years and its all getting too much, I don’t know what to do anymore I just can’t leave him

  140. My mother told me that I was an accident yesterday, and that she considered aborting me when she was pregnant with me. All of my life has been one screw up after another, and one big court battle over who get me for high school. No one cares about me as a person, all they see me as is a trophy. I’m the kid that no one notices except for the bullies, and I have no real friends. even my online friends are mean to me. No one cares about me, and I have no reason to live.

  141. I’m feeling really suicidal right now, I just don’t want to live anymore and I feel there’s no point living if I can’t settle with what is happening around me, the world is awful, I don’t wanna see it no more

  142. That was really a hurtful thing for your mom to say. A loving parent would say how thankful they are that did not abort you and what a blessing you are. She sounds like she has a lot of unhappiness in her own life that has nothing to do with you. You are valuable and the fact you are alive means you have a purpose. If you want to chat more about this we are here for you 24/7 – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Chatting with a HopeCoach is free and totally private. We believe in you!

  143. I wish I had someone to talk to…

  144. Me thinking about ending it all. Does that make me a attention seeker. Yes I’ve had a drink tonight open and honest.
    My life is in peace and struggling to see a end to this. Tonight is especially bad. I dot want to be branded a attention seeker nut am really struggling to keep things together ..

  145. What is a contract for life partner? I googled it and found nothing. I’m getting worse every day. I’ve seen a thousand articles like this and none help. I’m not gonna kill myself anytime soon but I’m scared that it’s eventually gonna be the way I die. I don’t know.

    • A “contract for life” is making a commitment to choose life and not suicide. We are here for you and can explain more about it. You can chat with a HopeCoach online anytime – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  146. Just never give up on god he will always be there for you no matter what trust and believe in him always for he is always there for you 🙂 and he will make everything better trust me things might be bad at times but he has a bright, amazing future for you 🙂

  147. goddd i honest to god want to die but i dont knoe how i would do anything or say aany thing like i have frequent thoughts about what my note would be and when in the car i hope that i crash and im the only one that dies when im on a bike everytimne i cross an intersection i want aa car to come out and hit me this is the only way i can actualllly say anything and vent because on blahh therapy and stuff u cant be suicidal and oh my god im sorry for evven writing thiss

  148. I feel I’m loosing my mind people keep telling me it’s my bf well ex now he literally just broke up with me via email while I was at work been thinking about killing myself for weeks can’t use email on here as bf has access to it and would be mad at me.i used to self harm and still get cravings when I’m down but lately I’ve been seeing things hearing stuff and keep getting worked up over nothing.i feel like nobody’s on my side or I’m dreaming my world doesn’t feel real anymore I’m starting to feel numb?dont know what to do scared I’m gunna hurt somebody or myself I just wanna start running never stop I’m scared if my bf sees this he will be really mad too?

  149. I’m 19 years old and I’ve been struggling with this constant sadness for as long as I can remember, but recently it has become so much worse. I have no idea who I am anymore or who I once was, I just know I’ve become everything I hate. I’ve been fighting it for so long, and I never wanted to come to this, but I can’t do it much longer. It gets harder to get out of bed every day. People can argue it with me as much as they want, but I truly see no reason I should stay here. I never want my parents to deal with the burden of my death, and that has always been enough to stop me from following through with it, but that doesn’t even seem to phase me anymore. I’m so tired, I wish I could just disappear without anyone noticing.

  150. If you feel sucidal, watch Pewdiepie or any youtuber that makes you laugh… Trust me, it helps 😉

  151. I don’t want to die, most of the time. But I get overwhelmed, I think about things to the point where the only logical solution to get out of my thoughts its to die. I don’t have the guts to do it, and never will. I called suicide hotline once an the guy was a complete phony, don’t tell me to live because of my goals and aspirations because all of them are unreachable in my situation. He wouldn’t know that, I don’t even know…

  152. Is it normal to wake up everyday in the morning and wish to die?

  153. Ive been feeling suicidal on and off for the past few months. I really dont know what to do. Its like one minute i feel fine then the next minute I feel like harming myself. I went to the hospital about 6 months ago they admitted me then they let me go home 72 hours later.

  154. My friends suicidal and self harms she cut her leg part of her hand and her arm what do I do she’s my bff and she’s the best but now she’s making me feel like it and I want to commit it now 😕

  155. I’m done. I have given up.

    • life is hard and getting harder .no guarantees. but am sure it will improve. tomorrow will always be different. most times for the better.

  156. Not helpful if my parents did not intervene when i texted good bye to people they took the pills out of my hand they just made me feel worse like i am being selfish for being me by saying other people have problems well that does not help me my parents agreed and they know nothing about mental health. They basically agreed with me when life sucks

  157. If I chat with someone is someone going.to show up at my.door and ruin my life even more?

  158. I started having suicidal thoughts about six years ago. I’m at a loss. I feel utterly helpless, as if I’m always stuck in the same revolting cycle. Everyone tells me ‘just look on the bright side’ but to me there isn’t one. I just… can’t anymore. I don’t really have anybody to open up to that will understand what I’m going through. I think that it’s existential, perhaps. I don’t see any point in living because I am nothing more than a drop in a very large ocean. I want to live, not just survive, but now it just seems impossible.

  159. I’m scared admitting to myself that I do have suicidal thoughts..but I do. Often times,I try. I only stop when I see or hear my 9yr old son. I’m scared that if the time comes that I’m in an argument and my son is not there that I will really kill myself

  160. … but, maybe, one loss is hardly, noticed… right?

  161. We are simply here to listen, encourage, and provides extra resources if you need them. No one will come to our door unless you are in serious immediate danger.

  162. I am so sorry that happened, but thankful you are alive. It sounds like you have friends who care a lot about you and did not want you to kill yourself. And, yes, sometimes parents don’t understand but they can always learn. Do you have a school counselor you could talk to about how you are feeling? We are always here for you at TheHopeLine® and can connect you with other resources that may help you.

  163. EVERY loss is noticed. There are many people whose lives are touched by yours. You matter. Please don’t give up.

  164. I’m only 10 years old and already thinking of suicide ;~; can I have help please??

    • I know what it is like to think like that. It is honestly terrible. Some people won’t understand you and tell you that you are too young to be thinking that, but suicidal thoughts can happen to anyone. I was actually around your age when I was thinking like that, but it passed. My only fear is that it will come back, but I’m fine for the time being and have been for over 5 years now. To anyone who needs encouragement, you are not alone in your thoughts. There are other people. Even if you don’t think you can handle living now just for yourself, other people do need you. I wouldn’t have spent 5 minutes typing this up on my phone just for you to ignore it. I hope you see this and recognize that YOU are important. That being said, if you think that no one will miss you when/ if you are gone, that is NOT true. I can say that there are people who will miss you. If not family, then friends. There is someone.

  165. I cut. Every single second of every single day I want to destroy myself. I hate me so much. The way I look, the way I talk, the way I can never do anything right. My wife tells me I ruin everything. I ruin everything. This plays over and over inside my head. I’m a worthless turd and I just want it all to go away. Cut and cut and cut until I’m drained. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t.

  166. Might sound crazy but what if I actually like hurting myself?

  167. I really feel stupid for trying this but if it works I’ll give it a try

  168. I’ll give it a try but I’m not sure if it will help I’ve been struggling with this for a while now but it is failing mission I’ve been under so much stress lately it just seems that I can’t dig myself out of this rut

  169. Well I tell you guys something,I have this thing called vcf or 22q with is kill me and make my life hell . So all you guys or don’t have a disabled, stop thinking your life is so bad because you can change it. For my I can’t and I’m sick and this I have to live though and I think help is a better place for me . So when I get up good by to all of you .

  170. my parents abuse me and im sick and tired of this my whole life and i just want to end it i dont care about the consequences i dont care

  171. I’m feeling very lost atm. I’ve been thinking almost non stop of ending right now. My antidepressants are not working. I lost my job due to nothing of my own fault they saw an opportunity let a high timer go and took it damn right to work bs. I cannot think straight and having a constant panic attack that has lasted almost 3 weeks now. I have been having tunnel vision and surreal vision. I dont do drugs except for what is percribed I’m 38 I don’t have much of a mind left and have been considering admitting myself so I don’t hurt myself. My father doesn’t understand that I suffer from panic disorder, being bi polar, and severe depression even though he was one that had me put on meds when I was a child because I had twitches. Everyday when I wake up it is because of the panic attack that cold rushing feeling in my chest wakes me up when my metrazapine wears off. Since my father and step mother are out of town till October and I have key to their house I have been really thinking of just walking over and putting a gun to my head and pull the trigger. He is an avid gun nut and there is a loaded weapon behind every door. My insurance is atm but I’d much rather go somewhere to be safe. I know being in hospital will suck but it’s better than the latter. My mind is at its end and I’m driving my friends and self crazy. My thoughts won’t stop rushing,I’m scared and don’t want to make the ultimate mistake. I’d rather hurt myself than anyone else because it’s not their fault.

  172. I not the type to just give up but since last September my life has drastically changed and I feel like I’m utterly alone in sadness. I don’t know how to cope with what life is dishing out.its too much,I need help

  173. Hello….what’s the point to this if I don’t get a reply

  174. I have been suicidal before and managed to get through it with hope my life will gain a reason to live another day, its been around a year and nothing has changed, still am the lonely person I was still can’t manage to find anything I can hold onto, talking to someone would probably help me but I have no one in my life I can talk to, no one wants to stay around me and I’m tired of chasing ghosts so I feel like I might have to become a ghost as well, being lonely with 7 billion people around you is so hard and tiring, I don’t think I can handle anymore pain. I don’t know why I’m writing this but I just feel like I need to put out my feelings somewhere, sorry I wasted your time.

  175. This article helped me calm down a bit. I’m still suicidal but not as irrational as I was a minute ago. Thanks so much to whoever wrote this.

  176. Going out to do some activity like running or playing soccer helps relieve the mind. Lately ive been playing this game called Monkey Road Run it helped me have a fresh mind

  177. Tonight, I was overcome with overwhelming thoughts of suicide brought on by depression. I’m a bottler and usually just push aside my emotions to focus on other things. I had said a deep prayer that God would hear me, see my suffering and allow me to find an alternative escape than through death. I looked up “how to redirect your thoughts from suicide” and found this place. I didn’t intend to speak with an actual person but I’m so glad that I did. Emory, if you’re reading this, thank you for all the help and leveling with me. I feel like I can breathe, like I’m no longer drowning in pain. Even better news, I’m waiting for a mentor to be assigned to me via email.
    Thank you to the founder of The Hope Line. Cheers to you and all of the amazing people willing to put their free time into others in need. God bless.

  178. I’d really love to talk to someone. ..im.feeling desperate, I called then EAP. ( employee assistance program) who claims there confidential, however, if you mention self harm or suicidal ideation Kama they will report you and most likely send the authorities to your location I cannot afford to cause more issues and lose my job of they think I’m unstable. …how can you get help without worrying about punitive actions???? It’s like I’m damed if I do OR dont…

  179. You can chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/. It is private and we have resources we can give you to help you.

  180. I just want to die. I can’t take the stress anymore. I hate my life

    • Alright stop that, you KNOW that’s not gonna solve anything. Just take some deep breaths and think about all of the positives in life. But if you can’t find any, think about the people who love you! If you can’t think of any, then just think of me, because I care about you, I really do. This may seem strange, but it’s true, and I hate it when people talk like this. So if you can’t find any other reason to live, at least think about living for me, would you do that for me please?

  181. Brianna, thank you for encouraging us!!! 🙂

  182. Here is the king of run on sentences: Im 43..former marine, messed with by three different babysitters as a child, moved around all of my life, on my second marriage, 1st was a train wreck to my childhood sweetheart, two grown daughters that i did not get to be part of their lives as they grew up, My current wife two miscarriages, that i cry over about once a week, one far enough along we had her name picked out. We also have a 4 year old son that I am afraid I am affecting with my depression. My wife is wonderful, and generally sweet and selfless, we dont even fight, other than my emotionally shutting her out as I fall deeper into this bottomless pit. I have never raised a hand to her, and over 17 years of relationship, the only time i ever even raised my voice was a frustrated “What the hell am I even doing here” outburst that was more directed at me, and my situation with my first marraige than anythign else.
    I have a job that i can lose really easily if look for help in certain areas, and If i seek ANY help I have to go through THEM(think: clearance). My health has gone down the tubes since my time in the corps…service connected disabilities including Lyme’s disease, asthma, and bad knees. Weight gone up, with lack of exercise, lack of will to do anything other than go to work, come home, rinse and repeat. My moods’s gone gradually down over the years. I mask it well at work..very well in fact, getting employee of the month several times over a few hundred peers in two locations. Honestly work seems like a vacation to avoid coming home to drag my wife down with all my problems, but im getting frazzled there too, and physically exhausted. Suicidal..well I cant talk about that unless i want to lose my job, which is needed for the previous child support, current expenses, etc. Not that im a conspiracy nut, but i know that certain things are monitored, I.E. Facebook.
    I am intelligent to KNOW i need help, but Im afraid to get it. I would be disingenuous If i didn’t also admit Ive been screaming for attention in my despair, but to articulate what it is I want is damn near impossible. I can say that it physically hurts when im in the low points of the funk I am in…whether its anxiety, depression, or both i cannot really say. Its just getting harder and harder to bounce back up again when i do crater out. I dont want to drag my wife down the drain with me, or especially my 4 year old son, who is full of energy, but had had some agression issues in the past year.

    • It’s hard to be in middle age and want to die

  183. I’ve been thinking bout suicide since 6th grade n I’m a senior but never came around doin it till I see how my life goes but I know its bout to happen. family, friends, therapy, ain’t none of that work on me.

    • Whoa, whoa, WHOA there friend! I know you may be feeling hopeless, but guess what, friend? YOU’RE NOT, YOU NEVER WERE AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!!!! Trust me when I say that you’re gonna be just fine, you just gotta work a bit and keep hoping for is all!

  184. Oh great i have absolutely nobody for a contract for life partner. I dont matter and its been shown almost to the point that it can be fact that i am not loved. I say this because im sure there are other people out there that dont have anybody and can see through phrases that only apply to more fortunate ones

  185. You know youre pathetic when you post about not having a contract for life partner and its not even good enough to be placed in the discussion. Wow thank you guys, i doubt this will be posted but there isnt help for everyone. Some people such as myself just arent enough and it sucks but its like that

  186. I really try my best to understand people around me I really do.. but I don’t think they care at all.. I tried to understand why my dad won’t allow me to do what I want but he just keeps saying how pointless it is to explain that for me and how pointless my whole life is and just keeps saying hurtful things.. the worst part the whole family was there and no one said anything.. I really just want to disappear right now..

    • Hey! It’s Okay! Everyone has crummy times at some point! But you know what? They ARE conquerable! You just have to stay determined! And if it means anything to you, I’m rootin’ for ya pal! X)

  187. I get thoughts every now and then and it scares me

  188. im saying goodnight today. see you

  189. I’m going to commit suicide.

  190. I’m literally so sad i have no hope for anything. My life is not important 🙁

  191. They say don’t do it. But when u have no friends no family nobody and it’s been that way ever since I can remeber. I have always had to walk everywhere. Until I turned 23 and brought my first car. I was the most joyous person u could meet. Until I moved to help my only sis out and she played Me to the left. I’m spritiual but I know there is no place for me here on this earth. I can’t find friends because I don’t fit in with most black ppl because I’m more sheltered so they don’t like me much. I’m quiet and observant. I can’t keep a job because I tend to have issues starting relationships on the job that could help me further my career. I’ve never been married nor have I owned a home. I’m a hard worker, I’m loyal and loving. It seems no one loves anymore. And it seems ppl thrive off of negative things that happen. Nothing lasts for me. Every good thing I have ever exp. I was alone and don’t have any pics with friends in my life period. I’m the black sheep. Have always been but it’s pointless to live a life where everything is built on status. I trust no one. The only guarrantee is death on life. To those who have a great life never take it for granted. Those who have friends they grew up with and take pics with go out with or in a bind but you can call them up etc… Treasure the moment that you are not like me. Death sounds so soothing. Because poverty to me equals death.

  192. Well if it’s hard then why not stop wanting to do that? Besides nothing good would come from that anyways. I know it hurts to struggle, but it hurts even more to lose a loved one, think about how much the people you know would miss you if you were gone! It’s never to late to start anew ya know!

  193. your prayers will be answered but no in the way you excpect i thought the same way once until i prayed it helps a lot just believe in god with all of your heart and you’ll feel loved back

    • Believe in FATHER GOD, Yep. Time is Short people. Pray, Repent, and Be of Love and Compassion towards all, including your enemies. Forgiveness is easily preached, but not easily done. To TRULY Forgive with the heart, mind, and Soul, can be difficult, but gets easier with time. And the HARDEST Forgiveness is in Forgiving oneself.
      Love and Compassion.
      Time is Short. Be in this World and NOT of this world.
      God Bless.

  194. I just want to suicide

  195. i want to do Suicide i lost my all hope i i am 24 year old i break my family trust . i have no any friend no i am not able to share my feeling to any one i never share coz i am not like to share i always thing what they think if i tell tham about my problem that why i never tell any one not share my mom an dad and sister i say i am in deep deprestion i lost all hope and also lost to my aim andd most important think I LOST THAM WHICH THE ONLY HOPE TO MY LIFE SHE LEAVE ME I LOST MY LOVE WHICH MOST PAINFULL TO ME i not understand what i do now

    • I am so sorry you have had so many losses recently. Please don’t give up, we are here for you. You can chat with a HopeCoach right now – https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp Go to this page or simply click on the “Chat Now” button. We care about you.

  196. I’m pressured. I feel like I’m all alone. When I’m at school I
    get bullied. I don’t have any friends who I can talk to. I feel like giving up😞. Can someone please tell my why I feel this way. I don’t tell anyone.

  197. When I put anonymous. My first name is Whitney. I have suicidal thoughts all the time. I get treated like crap and I’m tired of it all. I feel like killing myself! I don’t ever tell anyone anything, because they all call me snitch or cry baby. I’m very emotional and I can’t handle this.I’m pressured. I feel like I’m all alone. When I’m at school I get bullied.I don’t have any friends who I can talk to. I feel like giving up😞. Can someone please tell me why I feel this way.I don’t tell anyone! Am I all alone? My life is not normal, I don’t get to go anywhere or anyplace.

  198. I feel like killing myself

  199. Saturday I felt like cutting my wrists.

  200. I have been suicidal off/on since I was 9 (I am 36 now). There have been at least 5 suicides in my family, going back at least as far as the 1800s. When I look around at all the hate and evil in the world, it makes me really not want to be a part of it. When I think of all the abandonment and rejection I have felt my entire life, it makes me feel I am unworthy of love.
    I am in a very bad situation emotionally right now. See, I recently gave up everything I had (life savings, job, car, furniture, apartment, etc.) to move to another country to be with a man to whom I had been committed in a long-distance relationship for six years. In less than a year after my move here, he dumped me, and now spends his nights and weekends out partying with other women and all of his friends while I am left alone in the apartment. If I ask him any questions about his behavior, he threatens to kick me out onto the street. My flight out of this country is not for another two weeks and I have been completely isolated in the guest bedroom for over a month now while he has a grand ole time. I still love him.
    Life is hard, life is unfair, and people are inexplicably cruel. The only things that keep me from plunging a knife into my heart are (1) my love for God (2) my fear of hell (3) my love for my dog that I brought here with me and (4) the worry that my mother would kill herself immediately after learning what I had done (5) the fear that I would have ruined God’s plan for me.
    So my advice to anyone feeling like I do is to come up with concrete reasons why you should not kill yourself and hang onto them for dear life.

  201. Whitney, please chat with us at TheHopeLine®. We are here for you and we care about what you are going through right now. HopeCoaches are here 24/7 – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  202. Thank you to The Hope Line, you helped me like you were my family. I really appreciate all your guyses work.

  203. I think about how if I killed myself, people might finally actually care for me… I want them to feel horrible and responsible for my death, because they all are! I don’t know if that’s selfish, but I honestly don’t care. I’ve tried to suicide my fair share of times, but have either failed or just never had the guts to do it.
    Recently I resorted to cutting myself. They’re only scratches, but they get a little deeper each time. I’m scared that I’ll make myself bleed soon, or someone will notice and I’ll have to see a doctor. (They’re on my arm, and are quite obvious. Luckily it only looks like a cat scratched me.) I’m still young, and I DO want to live my life to the fullest. But is it worth the pain if death is inevitable anyway? Why not just end it here? Those are the two question I ask myself every night. I never feel appreciated and I truly believe that my life won’t make a difference to this world.
    I haven’t told anyone this before, so that probably explains why this is so long. All I want is a way to make pain go away, and venting has seemed to help. I don’t want the physical pain to go away, I wouldn’t cut myself if I hated that. The emotional pain, that’s the worst. I probably sound really weak because this is the reason I wish to die, considering so many people go through similar things. But that’s it, what they go through is similar. I can’t tell any of my “friends” or “relatives” about this because they wouldn’t understand… I hope there’s someone out there that understands me and can help me.
    – Anastasia

  204. Anastasia, It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and we want you to know we care about you and you are worthy. I’m proud of you for talking about how you are feeling and continuing to talk about it is a step in the right direction and the best thing to do. Would you be willing to chat online with a HopeCoach? It would be a one-on-one, private conversation and they would listen and help you through this. You are truly appreciated, loved and will make a difference in this world. Please give life a chance and talk to a HopeCoach at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  205. Thank you so much for your kind words, Whitney! I’ll pass along your encouraging message to the HopeCoaches.

  206. I don’t get the point anymore, sometimes. Everyone is always staring at screens. I feel like so much connection is superficial and my life is just a performance. I try to make other people happy and not worry so they can do their lives. It takes all of my energy just to get through the day and it’s never enough.
    I love the Lord and I know He loves me. I’m ashamed that I have thoughts of suicide. I could never do it. But nobody gets it. I’ve been dealing with depression for six years and all I get it advice on how to cure it, like it’s all my fault. I’m tired of not being good enough for people. I’m trying and I’m still here and I believe in Jesus. Shouldn’t that be enough?

    • You’re “ashamed” you have thoughts of suicide, yet you say “like it’s my fault”? Sounds a bit hypocritical. If you’re still trying and you love Jesus, yes that is enough. I know what depression feels like. It’s like those dementors in that Harry Potter movie that are representative of J.K. Rowlings depression. They just wanna suck your soul out. It could be a chemical imbalance, or maybe talk therapy could help instead?

  207. I have lost two jobs within two months, and have gone through at least 5 interviews. It seems like everything I have done I have done it wrong. I have been bullied all my life and I am done. It’s now been a month and a half with no job and my debt is beginning to pile up. Nobody here in Omaha is hiring production welding and when I tell my family I am thinking of suicide they just tell to get over it and that makes me even angrier. I am running out of options.

  208. I am sorry your family is being cold-hearted like that. We believe you should always take suicidal thoughts seriously and that it is important to talk about it with someone. I am glad you found our website. We would love to chat with you about your struggles. We are here for you 24/7 – https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/

  209. Sarah, it hurts my heart to hear how much you are struggling right now. Depression is a real physical thing and sometimes needs a variety of solutions like counseling, exercise, medication, and just like you mentioned…real connections with people. You are right about electronics making people less connected, but there are ways to find the kind of people who do want to have deep friendships. I am so thankful you have not given up. Would you be willing to talk to us on chat? Maybe we can help come up with some solutions, give you some real resources, and we really want to be a real connection for you. Please chat with us – https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ We also have a partner site where you can post your prayer request – https://www.theprayerzone.com/ I am praying for you now.

  210. I’m not going to go on too much longer.
    Tonight I began to feel that the end is better than the now.
    Not tonight, but soon.

  211. I don’t matter I’m not good enough and I’m not loved. I’m sorry but why would anyone care

  212. I need help I’m pregnant and my boyfriend beats me and blames me for everything and tells me how much he hates me I just want to end my life I think about killing myself all the time I don’t know what would happen to my two children. I’m all alone I have no one please someone help me

  213. i was going to kill myself now but i thought of my friend and tik she deserves better.
    My ex girfried and i broke up a few days ago and after i send her a video of a dance, she didnt whatch it instead she fighted with me again throught text and typed “i wish you die” she use to be suicidal like me but shes not anymore so she was blaming on me the “pain” she felt, but she has no idea. I replied “Iwant to die”, “if i was going to killl myself now would you care” I didnt fight back with her. i never did aything wrong to her. and i warned her who i was and she stilll chose me> and then she says that it is all my fault that she is depressed that i hurt her> but she needs and exuse with evrithing so she makes up storys in her mind to push and she keeps on pushing. so i wanted to end it

  214. how do i find a life partner?

  215. Is there any point to stay alive?

  216. Hi, I just read this because i am a 10 year old and feel suicidal thoughts when ever im depressed. Please I need help with TheHopeLine people. I want to chat with a HopeCoach….. Nobody needs me at all

  217. Please call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Please don’t give up. Do you have someone you can trust like a teacher or school counselor? It’s really important to talk with someone about your feelings.

  218. You can start by contacting us at TheHopeLine® – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We can help you think of safe people in your life and we can connect you to other people, like an email mentor. We care about you.

  220. First of all I want to thank this man for sharing his experience and advices with us all, I do appreciate it. But I came here to say that I simply can not find any possible way to cope as I’ve been trying tp fight this for over two years and the situation just keeps getting worse. I am not well. I am sixteen years old and I know what you all are going to think but this is not just a phase. I am a failure, I am the sister that can’t do anything right, that is never going to be good enough. I can’t live in the shadow of my twin, of a girl who is the champion in every thimg, every subject at school and every field. She is a genius. (I love you dear S, i will always love you even though I’m not here anymore and I want you to know that this was my choice, you had nothing to do with it. I love you.)
    I can’t go on. I’ve failed every single thing in my life and people keep saying: “Hey, why weren’t you as good as your sis?”
    “Why didn’t you do well. Look at your sis, she nailed it!”
    “If you can’t do that well why don’t you, um, ask your sis for help or something?”
    And I can’t. I just can’t do anymore. My life has no purpose as I used to believe before. Some people are born wrong, and I am one of them. Some don’t realze that they are just a burden and they live a relatively good life but that is not me. It hurts me to have a reminder every single day of how wrong i am. In everything. Every. Single. Thing. My life is meaningless.
    The reason why I’m saying this here and not to my mom and sister is because they would judge, heck, even when I’m dead. My father was a mess up, he was a shizophrenic. And they would thing that I’m just like my dad. But they don’t understand and they never will.
    Anyway, i just wanna say bye to everyone. Be good in life and do good things. Help others and volunteer and make this world a better place. I love you people. I wish you the best in life.
    Goodbye.

  221. I just want to tell everyone that you are beautiful in your own unique way. You deserve to be happy and to smile and to see the violet sky when you get home from work/school and think: “life is beautiful” and to make someone laugh and to be goofy sometimes just because you wanted to be a little weird and to read beautiful books and watch movies and visit incredibly beautiful places and do what makes you happy and anything and EVERYTHING. You deserve it because you deserve life. Just be good to others, be polite and kind and make people smile. Never be mean and never hurt someone. We are all good deep inside we are all born good. Be a good person, that’s my advice to all of you out there who might be reading this. I am leaving this placebecause i must, i don’t have any other way. But don’t leave if you’re not sure that you haven’t experienced everything and haven’t tried everything. I love you people. I really do love the world and the nature and us humans very fondly. I just don’t love my self anymore, i do not see a meaning of my own existence. But i guess that’s okay. That isn’t that relevant now after all. I came here to tell you that you deserve happiness. I wish you the best of luck in life people. I love you all. Be good.

  222. 1. Reach Out for Help
    Nope, I hate help, I hate others, my mom always meddling, why did you do this, why did you do that, just shut up and leave me alone.
    2. Refer to your Safety Plan
    Great, another form to fill, I filled up 20 forms in the past months and I don’t care for filling another one.
    3. Remove whatever can harm you at that very moment.
    I don’t have a choice, military service is mandatory and I will go to prison. viva middle east
    4. Turn to other Activities
    Same as above.

  223. First, it is very difficult to get help from anyone in this state. When most people either do not understand or need to take care of themselves first they can’t be there for you. I trusted my best friend for four years and she ousted me because of “not being able to be happy”. I trusted my ex boyfriend of two years who also could not handle that i was never happy enough for him therefore i didn’t deserve love. I trust my parents who got frustrated that they had to pay for hospitalizations and medicines and they have to deal with the fact that our family now has a stigma because of their “crazy daughter”. I trusted Christians who basically acted like i was not faithful enough and that is why i was miserable. I trusted God who hasn’t taken any of the pain away or given me anyone i can actually turn to. I trusted my recovery partners just to learn that someone else with struggles tends to withdraw as well and can’t help you because they need help themselves. I trusted counselors until i realized i was just an experiment to them and they were only helping because they were getting paid to. I trusted websites and phone services such as this one but when people tell you on the phone you don’t have it bad and they don’t even know you or make you hold until someone is available then you already don’t feel like a priority but it is even worse. So how can i find someone to trust to talk about this with when no one cares! Please don’t say you do in the comment because you don’t know me. So i’m stuck wanting to die but have no one to tell that to without fear of losing them.

  224. Am I tried to jump off a balcony at a disco when I was drunk I was so scared and thought the only way out was to die it seemed like the only thing I wasn’t scared of anymore my friend caught me while I was trying to put my leg over and pushed me against a wall I kept scratching my legs and grabbing my throat as if I was choking myself cause I wanted it all to go away I had a panic attack before this and was shaking on the floor I’ve cut myself before and recently have again but this time on my ankles I don’t want to tell my mom I feel so guilty over everything I’ve put her and my dad through already I’m starting counselling on Saturday but I’m scared to talk to her incase she tells my mom any of this I don’t want her to know I tried to kill myself because one of our neighbours committed suicide recently and she was upset about it and my dad he thinks it’s selfish I know I’m not suicidal sober but I’m scared I feel like I need to tell someone but I don’t want to worry people I don’t know who to talk to

    • We are here for you 24/7 and connect you with resources to help you through this. Please chat with us so we can help. Simply click on the “chat now” button to reach a HopeCoach or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

    • Counselors are bound by privacy laws and can’t tell your parents your conversation.. The counselor is a safe place to be honest and real. I am so glad you have someone to go to. We are here for you, too, if you want to chat. Click the orange “chat now” button to connect with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7. We have some eBooks that can help you understand yourself and hear stories of people with similar struggles and how they got through it. https://www.thehopeline.com/ebooks/
      Also, we have an interview the rock musician Lacey Sturm, https://www.thehopeline.com/my-interview-with-lacey-sturm-videos/, who was suicidal and has a lot of wisdom and encouragement to share.

    • I tried to suffocate myself a couple days ago… I am like you annoymous girl. I don’t want my parents to know either, I am Mormon. I just lost the only two friends I have had…

  225. I tired to kill myself when I was drunk and I don’t know who to tell I’m scared

    • I know you are really struggling. You are being abused and you need someone safe to talk to. Do you have a school counselor or a teacher that you feel you can trust? We have several eBooks that are a good place to begin sorting through your feelings and what you are experiencing. Here is one on depression – http://info.thehopeline.com/depression-ebook and this one is on eating disorders – http://info.thehopeline.com/eatingdisorders-ebook
      Reading the books and listening to audio clips of real stories will help you know that you are not alone in these struggles. There is hope.

  226. Hi Imy struggling with really bad dreppression and iv considered killing my self many times and have now been having to many close call I’m physically and mentally abused ,I sweareally my anxiety kills me and I don’t belive I’m good enough for this world

  227. I have suicidal thoughts sometimes. Once I even got a knife a tried to do it, but I couldn’t. I feel like no one cares about me, like a waste of life. I get bullied a lot at school and I try to hide it.

  228. I lost my mom when I was 7. My dad is gone too. The “parents” that I do have call me a ‘sick little brat’ and what did I do to them? I am 12 and want to give up and see the real parents that I was given. I am blamed for all the problems around our tiny 2 bedroom apartment stuffed with 6 people. I sleep on the floor like a dog in the closet while everyone else gets a room. My dad died before I was born and my mom left when I was two and gave me away. She ran away to Saint Louis Missouri and started taking heroin and died from it. I am lost…

  229. I told my friends about my depression multiple times and they have either told me that i was weird or completely ignored me. They left me. I feel like such a burden. The only friend of mine that is still there for me lives in a different state. I am not sure how much longer i can go

  230. I have tried to fix myself with those who I am happy around most, I was abandoned in Idaho 4 years ago. I now am a mother, I am also a danger to myself. I am trapped in my own thoughts, I tried taking my dog and daughter on a walk to help escape myself, and I now have dreams of killing myself, everyday, I day dream of myself drowning. I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to die. I want to be better, but I can not get myself to see a Dr. I want out. I want to be done with this. I need to be done.

  231. My name is Keturah. I know exactly how you feel. I always had to catch a ride everywhere. Sometimes I would be stranded for hours. I bought my first car last year and most of my depression went away. But then I crashed my car back in August on a rainy day while taking the express way. I don’t have any friends. I’ve tried but many people don’t understand me because I’m very positive and enlightened. I’m single. I don’t have the connections I want at work either. My supervisors have stolen ideas from me and used them as their own, or I’ve been excused from working my way up to a promotion due to favoritism. I live in a poor city. Everyone here is struggling. I wish we could be friends. Just to have each other to talk to. I’m debating killing myself. Just because I’m so tired of trying to be a good woman and trying to be a good friend. I’m in so much pain and sometimes I feel like some of us are just broken. Some of us live our entire lives feeling like jellyfish or black sheep because maybe we’re not supposed to be here. Maybe we got mixed up with a different dimension. Life has always felt unnecessarily hard. Like why did I have to be abused? Bullied? In a car wreck? Cheated on? Fat? Lonely with zero friends? Maybe I should just leave this earth. I would be sad if I didn’t try to reach out to you, but with my luck you probably won’t see this or even reply. I wish you comfort though… as much as I want my life to just end… I don’t wish suicidal thoughts on anyone ever.

  232. i dont know why but i just suck at everything in school i have a 2.1 gpa wont be able to do anything but work at mcdonalds im fat and ugly everyone thinks im annoying i cant get a gf i suck at every game i play my best friend just commited suicide so how am i supposed to retaliate or live normally

  233. the mind is a powerful thing you cant escape it but you control it at the same time..so then what..

  234. i wanna kill my self as soon as possible..i dont want to live anymore.i have broken the trust of the person who use to trust me alot and was alwasy standing for me….now i am all alone…cant take the pain …its hurts a lot.they say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but sometimes the problem isn’t so temporary, its forever

  235. Please click the “chat now” button and talk to a HopeCoach about how you are feeling. Please don’t give up. We are here for you and we care about what you are going through.

  236. I am tired – mentally. Am I weak for giving up?

  237. im thinking about it. it’s gonna happen soon, help

  238. This is so unrealistic. If
    preventing suicide was as simple as changing one thought nobody would commit suicide. These stories do not represent true suffering. Maybe some education on the physical and sexual abuse that people suffer before suicide would be helpful to those so that they understand why some young people have to kill themselves.

  239. At TheHopeLine we believe it is important to talk to someone about what you have been through. We know it is not about just changing one thought. For more information on abuse we have an eBook with real stories and real help- http://info.thehopeline.com/sexual-abuse

  240. I tried killing me ever since I was little my mom would always say things like you make me sick imam beat you she even put me out the house at the age of 5-6 today she made me so mad because her and her boyfriend was like im disrespectful but im that way because the way she treat me and the way she do me it’s like im not there and she is never nice to me it’s always her boyfriend that’s she care about if it’s him she do anything we never once had a mom and sister moment I almost killed her by her drink then I stopped I just don’t know what to do im so tired of this instead of me calling can u give me advice on this website

  241. I can’t do any of these,not even the hobby one because I have no iinterest in anything. I think I might have depression.

  242. I’m feeling like I want to die. Well, more like just disappear. I have thought about death many times and it kind of appeals to me in a strange way. I think I can handle it, but I just wanted someone to comfort me because no one has.

  243. I want to die. I have felt this way for a long time and it actually feels good everytime I think about it. I think I can handle it but I’m not sure.

  244. Yes, one of the signs of depression is not being able to enjoy things that would normally make you happy. Do you have someone you can talk to? HopeCoaches are available 24/7 and we can connect you with counseling and other resources. We are here for you. Simply click the “chat now” button or go to this page – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  245. We are definitely here to comfort you. Please click the “chat now” button or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ to chat with a HopeCoach. We are here to listen, understand, and help.

  246. I am glad you are reaching out for help. Do you have other adults in your life you can trust – like a teacher, grandparent, friend’s parent? It is important to have a safe person to talk to. Our chat line is open 24/7 and it is totally private and safe. It is not a phone call, but texting instead. Here is the link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Hang in there!

  247. I wanna kill myself. No one cares about me. Im hopeless.

  248. im 11, and i have severe depression and anxiety. a lot has happened to me. my best friend killed herself, then my boyfriend, and then my grandpa passed away from a massive heartattack. my 3 best friends, gone in the blink of an eye. ive tried therapy 2 times and it didn’t work. I guess im not a big fan of pouring my heart out into some judgmental stranger. i share a room with my older sister, jayda. she is 15. our beds r on opposite sides of the room. we have a HUGE room so there is a lot of extra space between us. I hid 2 razors in my drawer, and i turned the lights on, sat on my bed, opened the razor, and started cutting my wrist. she didnt even look up from her phone. “i know im not important to her, or anyone”. the only thing stopping me, is that i know im loved. people will miss me when im gone. at least 1 person will. and i would make them feel horrible if i did kms. thats why i wont. i just cant do this, u can. stay strong. bye

  249. You are important and you are worthy. We care and we are here to listen. Chat online with one of our HopeCoaches and they will listen and help you through this at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  250. It just suck to live in this filthy world

  251. I just took a bunch of pills! Goodbye ):

  252. Don’t give up until you get the help that is right for you no matter how hard things can get we always seem to move on/get through them and even another days worth of looking for the right help is worth every minute for the rest of your life so if nothing seems to work out after that maybe make a group page where people just like us can chat too and listen and have all the helpful tools on from every good used website
    P.S. yes we got abused and treated like trash but sometimes it feels good to treat things like that if they have no feelings e.g kicking or breaking an old radio or destroying chuncks of wood etc anything to let go of some of that pressure in your head those chemicals building up not letting you think right but I believe in all you out there that read my message that there is a way out and you can be one who did it right! 🙂 all the best of luck.

  253. I hope and pray you are still here. Please chat with a HopeCoach. We care about you and are here for you 24/7. Click the “chat now” button or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  254. There are always these voices in my head that keeping on say things like “there is no reason for you” and for ” why dd you think that your mom was on birthcontrol” what do i do?

  255. I’m 12 and my dad has high blood sugar level everyday and I read if it’s frequently above 300 then you can die from it and his blood sugar is between 300 and 550 everyday and my mom keeps drinking and coming home drunk and I cut myself and my dad has a gun in his drawer and last week I took it and pulled the trigger but it didn’t have any bullets cause my dad hides them and I just feel like ending the stress… I cry every time in the shower for 1 hour praying to god that he’ll end this but I lost faith I feel like ending it all

  256. I feel like committing suicide because I just feel like I’m taking up space in this world I don’t feel there’s anything left for me here everyone’s leaving me

  257. What if you start questioning God’s existence… What else do you have to hold on to?

  258. I understand how you feel, and I’m a hypocrite as I say this because of my own plans of suicide, but a few years ago, the last time I was suicidal, I felt like I was a waste of a being. My not so wealthy family was paying for my tuition when I’m not a smart as my brother, so I thought if I die, they can financially support my brother more and be more comfortable because I felt like a waste of space and not needed.
    But then I decided I wanted to try something before committing to suicide. So I told my family how I felt and then reached out for therapy. Sometimes telling your family is a hit or miss. Sometimes they’ll try to convince you of your worth and depending on your stage of depression, all that might seem meaningless. Which I why therapy is also important. And if you feel like your family doesn’t actually care about you, try telling a friend you trust. Or just push yourself into try therapy. Really, finding the right therapist saved my life. (Make sure they’re right for you tho) and being completely honest and vulnerable with your therapist, which may be new.
    But like the ripple effect, your existence has already changed the course of time in some way, so in the bigger scheme of things, your existence matters, and quite a lot.

  259. Ohh god i dont want to kill my self but…

  260. I can’t reach out for help anymore.

  261. No matter how beautiful you are, it doesn’t matter. People will always look at someone else. Until you find the right person who loves you. Maybe you have qualities your sisters do not have. You may have a special soul and purpose.

  262. I’m usually a level headed person and I never thought I’d be put in a situation where I feel so weak. I feel like harming myself. I believe I’m in love with someone who doesn’t love me back. It hurts so much. It’s nothing like I’ve ever felt. The pain is so consuming. We were close and now it’s like I’m just being ignored. Things have changed. I know this happens to a lot of people but I don’t know why it’s affecting me so much. It’s killing me. All I think about is what I did wrong and why things are the way they are. I can’t live without this person. I’m afraid of death but I just want to harm myself because I feel I deserve it. I know this sounds immature. Judge me but I just don’t care anymore. I’m tired and I don’t know how to deal with it anymore. I can’t even get away from this person because we’re in the same class. The contact is unavoidable… And most of all because, she’s my best friend.

  263. I feel guilty going to someone and telling them I’m having suicidal thoughts. I feel like thats such a horrible thing to put on someone, to put that kind of pressure on them. Id rather keep it inside than give someone that burden.

  264. I know people say don’t kill yourself because you are worth it, but I have tried with all my heart and all my patients to find someone who would love me for the way I am. I just want to know if anyone know a truly good reason not to commit suicide besides the “this is only temporary” or “give yourself a break” etc

    • Kevin, Thank you for reaching out to talk. It’s important that you continue talking about how you are feeling. Suicide is final. Please give yourself a chance. You are not alone…A HopeCoach will listen and help at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp.

  265. i am 24 guy i wish i was never born i never achieved anything in my life and i will never find happiness and i dont talk and i am dumb no talent lazy brain i want to kill my self in the future i guess no help in my country and i have anxiety why me god? i have no friends all i have is my twin brother and my parents 🙁

    • Please chat with a HopeCoach. We have talked with people in over 150 countries. Sometimes we have resources for your area. Please give us a try – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Chat anytime 24/7

  266. I have had enough of my life, my parents say they love me, but they don’t, I cannot be my real self for fear of being disowned as well (due to their harsh dislike of people with my sexuality), my work has taken a turn for the worst and has made home life miserable and my mother suffers from depression and apprently cries whenever I leave the house which means my father has to deal with and then angrily puts it all down on me.
    I have had enough, its time to end it and switch it all off, I have nothing to live for anymore.

  267. i dont want to die
    But still my susidal feelings follieing me. Help me i want to cry i want to want i dont know help me please

  268. IM having a bad time. Ive been having these thoughts for a long time. I always feel alone because I am. I have bearly any friends at school. In class I just sit alone becase noone wants to talk to me. My friends around my house hate me. So every time i look out my window im reminded of this because one lives across the street from me. I breakdowns all the time. I never wan to leave me room. I just go my hair cut today, so when I saw my exfriend across the street i didnt think she hates me but when I said I got my haircut she just said “I dont care” really meanly and that has just stuck with me. Ive cut myself before and im trying my best not to do it again. but its hard.

  269. I have lived with suicidal thoughts for almost a year now. Nothing is working. I have talked to friends about it and they try to help and I appreciate it. But no one understands. NO ONE. They all think that they do and that they are going to save me but they just can’t. They don’t understand. I appreciate all those who do and we are all in this together. But sometimes I just want to end it. I hate myself for who I am and how I think, I really do. I just can’t shake the feeling of dread in my chest. I don’t know how much longer I can last.

    • E.M. We want you to know we care and we are here to listen and understand what you are going through. You are valuable and you matter. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches about the dread you are feeling. They will listen and help you through this. Go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp to chat anytime.

  270. I am truly on the brink… I’ve made many mistakes so, now im on the verge of getting kicked out of my place no one will hire me, and so much i cant even get into right now. Every day get worse, no words can really now but a prayer for larry would do wonders. My family is the only reason i haven’t done it yet.

  271. I’m having trouble at home. My wife is very hard on me. I feel like I’m on eggshells 24/7. We have so much to be thankful for & she just treats me like I’m a piece of trash. I try, I really do. I actually do provide, pay bills, keep my kid happy. We have such a beautiful, perfect 15 month old daughter, and it kills me to realize I feel this way. We live in a great house, have a few nice cars, tons of grownup toys like nice bikes, motorcycles, snowmobiles, skis, boards, etc. We really are technically “Living the dream”. I’m not an unattractive person. Yet…..more often than not….I spend too much time defending myself from unfair assessments, trying….begging to be treated nicely. Wondering why she’s so angry. After everything I’ve done, which I’d like to think is at least above average as far as husbands and fathers go…..I’m left feeling like I’m a worthless piece of crap, and my wife and kid could just move on after my departure. Yes…..I’m tired, and sad. I’m unable to comprehend how, with so much to be thankful for, I’m part of such a miserable situation. Frankly….I’m losing my desire to continue. I’m scared….and having tremendous anxiety. I honestly feel like my wife would be better off without me here, and in turn, would be a better mother to our daughter. At times…..that seems to justify her growing up without her biological father. I don’t know what to do.

  272. I just want to die I feel alone I love my baby daddy and all he dose is mentally abuses me and it kills me because my son needs his daddy he tells me to go kill my self all the time I’m already suicidal because Im bypoler I don’t know what to do any more

  273. I recently had a big storm and had gotten a tornado warning. It was getting bad. We all gathered in my bathroom with my 7 animals and I fa mily members in the house . My brother was crying and shaking and panting. Seeing this… was unreal. I eventually started having a panic attack and wanting to die to make this stop… and a horrible thought can into my mind… “What I my family dies” my heart dropped . I prayed and prayed this wouldnt happen . We had been informed that the storm had missed us. . Hours later I am laying in bed. And the thought comes back ” what if my family dies ” my stomach churned,because I knew it can happen again to me. I just wanted to die.

  274. I am loosing it bit by bit,I tried to be strong for the past few months fighting with these thoughts but I think I am failing to control them instead of controlling them they are controlling me, I see death as an only option I cant live and face my failures.

    • Please don’t give up. Have you tried chatting with a HopeCoach? Simply click our “chat now” button anytime 24/7. It is free and confidential. Please let us help.

  275. i am about to kill myself

    • Please chat with a HopeCoach before you do anything. We are here for you all the time 24/7. We want to listen and help. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  276. I heard death is peaceful, from the loneliness and guilt i’m feeling. Someone to open u to, someone to be a good son.. I wish i could give what my parents want from me, life’s a such a mess. indeed they dont want me dead, but what good i am doing by wasting their money

  277. I Have been Fighting Suicidal And Depression For A Very Long Time My counselor Know That I Have Been cutting My Self For Along Time I Have Been in The Hospital it Did Not Help Me Being in The Hospital This Time Ok.I Am Really Suicidal I Really Wanted To Commit Suicidal Tonight

    • When you are struggling with these overwhelming feelings please chat with a HopeCoach. We are here for you 24/7. Just click the “chat now” button. Please don’t give up.

  278. my parents hate me and tried to kill me. what’s the point in living. i dont have any special talents. im not roch. im never gonna fund someone who loves me. i wanna kill myself. no more winters. no more summers. mo more springs. just skyfalls.

    • Silvia, please chat with a HopeCoach today. You do have special qualities, but maybe it is just hard to see that right now. We are here to listen and help 24/7 – just click the “chat now” button or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  279. I’m going to kill myself. I hate my life.😭😭😭😔😭😭😭😭

    • Yaya, please don’t give up. Try chatting with a HopeCoach before you do anything. We are available 24/7 – just click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp We are here for you and we want to help.

  280. im a teenager. sometimes i feel really suicidal. people treat me like garbage. I do everything to help them and they repay me by beating me. my parents dont care even the teacher plz tell me what to do.

    • You can talk to a HopeCoach about it. We are here to listen and help. Click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  281. In the beginning I was bullyed and called fat among other things I was sexually molested at the age of 6 and the at the age of 8 I was touched by the counselor that was trying to help me cool with my mom and dad’s costs then at the age of 9 I got sexually touched by my dad.” I am tired boss tired of people being ugly to each other” jhon coffee I want this pain gone I want it to end

  282. I have been enduring the lost of a beloved for 4 years. There is no replacement. I am very extremely lonely. Forlorn. I want execute myself because every single day, every single moment I felt tearful, I felt empty. This will not change and we knew that from experience. I am 47 years old. Changes came when you are happy, joyful.

  283. I am lost, completely i can’t go out of the house , i can’t study, i don’t have any friends, nobody that likes me, i lack social skills, i am ugly and dumb and everyone i know wants me out of their lives, i am poor and i can’t afford decent clothes for work, and people hate me and avoid me for some reason and i don’t have money to afford meds and i am physically ill too..i hate this life and my heart hurts because my family and relatives only care for themselves and they distance themselves from me..all i do is cry and hurt myself and i am just waiting right now for something bad to happen to me, something too much for me to handle so i can kill myself.. maybe its better if i am gone i know nobody would miss me anyways thanks for reading my comment.

  284. I was so encouraged by this site until they mentioned God. Religion (religious hypocrisy) is the main reason I want to kill myself.

    • Luis, I think you brought up a great point about religion. Religious hypocrisy is the “pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.” Probably a lot of religious people act like this. The difference in the Christian religion is the acknowledgement that no one is perfect, we all have struggles and failures, and so the Bible says “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” (Romans 3)
      In Christianity our great hope and peace is that we have a God who loves us unconditionally. He can see all of our imperfections and loves us and has grace and kindness for us.
      If you want to continue this dialogue, which I think is a really important one, we have HopeCoaches who are always available 24/7 who can answer your questions and also listen to your personal experiences with religion. Sometimes it really helps to talk to someone about what you have been through. Click the “chat now” banner on our site in the header or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp We are here for you and we care.

  285. I am very badly depressed and thinking of committed suicide. My dad on a debt I tried to repay working day and night but still huge amount to pay whenever I think about my family which make me depressed badly. Don’t know what to do. The world is so cruel.

  286. See this is the thing, everyone says oh it will be better and ih hang in there, oh and the best someone out there loves you- well guess what? No they don’t. I am almost 40 have nobody, no money, no job thru no fault of my own and think about killing myself everyday. The only thing that stops me is my dog. But once he is gone, i won’t be too far behind. Lets see someone give me a reason to keep living. And not the same it will get better speech, cause i am old enough now to know that is not true. Once my dog goes the only thing that loves me will be gone. I am too old to meet someone new, wait until i love them then, have a kid i shoulda had that done by now. Thats all i ever wanted was a family but i also aint the type to have a kid when i am mad old and not be able to do things with the kid cause i am all old an shht. That ain’t fair to the kid. I wasted from 18-28 being with the same girl who upped and left one day. That was my one chance. Looking at pictures of cute animals may make it ok for the time but when thats over i gotta go back to the reality that i am a loser and there really is nothing for me in the future so whats the point? Its not gonna get better, i literally havent got anyone to talk to, there is nothing that can possibly happen besides winning the lottery for millions that can make me happy.

    • I hear you. Is it clear in your mind what you want to be happy in life? 40 is not too old to be a father. Even 50 isnt too old if you take care of yourself healthwise. Why do you not work? Mick Jagger just had a child at 72. Are you able-bodied? If so and you cant find work in your area, maybe consider moving to a completely different place. You could also adopt. Don’t give up man. These things can change.

  287. I have no hope any more. Im loosing everything I’ve worked for because of my depression. I can’t even leave my home with out having anxiety anymore. My girlfriend left me because of my illness and I found out she is pregnant with my baby. How Im I suppose to take care of them if I cannot take care of myself. I have tried to kill myself with pills but vomited them up. I tried to use my car by putting a hose in the muffler into the window of the car but I just woke up with an empty tank. Im about to hang myself in my living room. I’ve written my good bye’s to the only people I love and I feel my time is coming to an end on this world.

    • I am so thankful you have reached out for help here at TheHopeline! Have you been to see a doctor? Depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance. It is curable, but it is important to get physically checked out to get to the bottom of it. Please don’t give up. Your child does not want to grow up without a daddy. We had a little girl post recently that she wanted to die because her dad died before she was born.
      I believe you can get well. Please chat with a HopeCoach online so that we can connect you with resources and listen more in depth to what you are going through right now. Please don’t give up.

  288. Can I get help?????please

    • You can chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 – just click the “chat now” button or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  289. Please help meeee

  290. I dont care about anything anymore. I am constantly afraid of everything in my mind. I have lost that happy person i was and i will never get it back. I cant eat or sleep or concentrate. Im so tired. Im riddled with anxiety. I dont want to feel it anymore. I want to be sedated to unconsciousness. Im starting to withdraw from society.

    • It sounds like you are struggling with real depression. That happy person is still in there. It is important to talk to someone about how you are feeling so that you can get the help you need. Our HopeCoaches are available 24/7 to help you sort through this and move forward to get the happy person in you back. Just click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  291. Hello. I do’t know what to do. I feel so empty and negative. Even though I have friends, I just can’t fully trust them for some reason. I don’t have any past trauma or anything so I don’t know why I’m having these trust issues. Is there something wrong with me.

  292. I’m so down and tried of my misfortune and screw ups.being broke and in debit.I just don’t want to be here.it would be better for family and friends.I mess up everything I do is bad.and I won’t ask for help because a man doesn’t do that

    • Everyone needs help in some form or another. No one is truly an island. A wise man is able to admit where he needs help and is willing to ask for it. Keep searching and there is a good chance you will find the help you need.

  293. I just want to die..

  294. I feel like i need to kill myself because i have bad grades and i feel like i will fail at life. also, my father is sort of mean to me and yells a lot. i feel like it would just make it all go away and the world would be a better place because i am gone. i am one of six kids, and despite having a good singing voice, i feel like i can never shine. sometimes i wish i was never born. I am not poor, but i feel like my family would be so much better without me. i don’t have any friends, and i feel like life is worthless.

    • Sounds like life is overwhelming and lonely right now. We are here for you. Please click the “chat now” button and talk to a HopeCoach about it. We are here 24/7 for you. We also have a free eBook that might help, too – http://info.thehopeline.com/selfworth-ebook You are valuable and you do matter. Please don’t give up.

  295. I don’t know what to do 😢 my grandmother is constantly jumping down my throat over EVERYthing she can possibly think of.. I feel as if killing myself would get me away from it all I’ve tried over & over & over again until I found out I was pregnant at 21 now all this anger builds up & the thoughts are coming back 10 times worse can someone please help me!?!? I need advice.

    • You have a child to take care of now. Sit down and have an adult talk with your grandmother and if that doesnt help, then try your best to build up enough money to take your child and go live on your own. If you are seriously willing to kill yourself, then you shouldnt be afraid to try other alternatives first.

  296. i want to kill myself, and am considering overdose. i have 2 friends who say that if i died, they would kill themselves. i suffer from depression, and dont think there is any point to living anymore.

  297. All I ever do is fet bullied. My so called Bedt Friends are aleays hurting my feelings. They are doing it on purpose. I know it. I might as well out them out of their misery of me being here. Goodbye world.😢

    • You only have one life but you can always find new friends. If you really want to get back at them, be the best person you can be and accomplish the things want to do to make yourself happy.

  298. I am unemployed since last four years
    I am trying hard to get a job .But nothing can help me . I can’t support my family,I am 29 its feel shame to depend on parents income.Some time thinking for suicide.
    My future seems dark.

    • The darkness is only temporary. Things will get better. I am thankful you have supportive parents. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches about how you are feeling. We want to help you. We can listen and share ideas and resources. Please do not give up. We are here for you now 24/7 – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  299. I try last night i just know wake up hope this time i dont wake up th

  300. I have a gun to a very bad situation in life so be it. Thats my only solution My problems wont get away

    • Please do not give up. There are other solutions available. You can chat with a HopeCoach for free – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp Our chat line is open 24/7.

  301. I have never felt this alone in my life. The one who I thought was always gonna be there for me, cared for me a lot but I really can’t go to her with all my problems. I have no one to talk to. Right now, I just feel like taking the short cut and killing myself. I don’t want to. Can someone please help me?

    • Yes, we are here for you right now. Please chat with a HopeCoach about your feelings and your situation. CLick the “chat now” button or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp It is safe, private, and free. We care about you!

  302. I wanna kill my self I feel like I have nothing I have been through so much & nothing is getting better my life style sucks who care if I die no one my kids seeing me hurt I can’t keep looking at them in shame nobody understand what I’m going through I try every day not to feel so hopeless I’m not happy I don’t know when the last time I smiled & was happy this fake laughing this fake smile I can’t keep doing this & I know my kids need me but I can’t keep living like everything is okay I’m crying my eyes out its only so much a person can take & I’m down to my breaking point

    • I am really thankful you came to our site. Reaching out for help is the first step to getting better. Depression is not only situational but also physical. There are medications that can help level you out so that you have the strength and energy to face what you are going through. You can show your kids that it is brave to reach out for help. They may likely suffer from depression in the future and this is an opportunity for you to model for them how to handle it. Our HopeCoaches are online 24/7 and they are trained and have resources available for you right now. Click the “chat now” button or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp Please chat with us now. There is hope, I promise.

  303. I’m crazy, lost my mind, I’m mixing real life and dreams, I’m imagining things I said and did things I don’t remember, and things I remember but never happened
    I’m having dreams, and in them I commit suicide then I wake up
    I think it’s going to happen for real

  304. Lately i been thinking about killing myself. I know i should because i have a child. But alot been going wrong and my husband does seem to care or care about me or my son anymore and i cant handled it. I dont know how many time i cry today and thought different ways juat to end it for me now. But i need to think about my son nd what he needs for me as a mom. But what can i do when all i am right now is depress all the time.

  305. I’m numb, I feel like I deserve to die

    • It sounds like you are struggling with depression. No one deserves to die. It can help to talk about your situation with someone who cares. You can chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  306. Well this makes me feel worst. I am gonna end it all. Forget this.

    • I am really really sorry that the blog did not help. You can chat with a live HopeCoach about how you are feeling and about your situation. We are here for you and we care – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  307. I need help

    • we are always here for you ~T

  308. I need to talk

  309. i hate that i even think of doing this.

  310. What I do is I hide i my bathroom(It is the only room in my house with a lock) until I settle down.Or if I am not at home. I usually keep a rubberband on my wrist and flick it on my wrist to relieve the pain.

    • I am really proud of you for finding a safe place and using a coping skill. We are also here for you if you want to chat. HopeCoaches are online 24/7 and it’s confidential and free – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  311. i just can’t stand it anymore, you don’t know how it feels to be me

    • You are right that I don’t know how it feels to be you, but I care that you are struggling. We want to help and we are here to listen. HopeCoaches are on chat 24/7, please tell us your story and let us help – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  312. Is there an age limit 4 this…?

    • No, we do not have an age limit, although we are primarily geared towards teens and young adults.

      • Ok…thank u Im in my early teen years. and Ive been through a lot…so just in case☺

        • We understand and can only imagine some of the struggles you have experienced. Yes, please chat with us anytime – here is the link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp or just click the “chat now” button or download our app and chat from there. We are here for you!

          • 👌Thx very much

  313. Is there ???

  314. thats it i wanna kill myself so badly but im scared :< im too sad and desperate doonu why i came here!!!!

  315. Just need someone to talk to it time I will take my Own life

  316. Need someone to talk to

    • are you still here ???

  317. I’m just so tired of all the hurting and I’m tired of being sad all the time. I just want to be OK but even when things are good I just can’t be happy. I actually fantasize about how peaceful it will be once im dead, I know that’s not normal and definitely not healthy. I’m so embarrassed that I even feel this way that I can’t talk to my friends and family about it BC I know how people pity those that talk about suicide… I’ve tried talking about it a little bit with my husband of 14 years but he just yells at me about how ridiculous I’m being and that I should just be content with what I have in life. God forbid if I cry about anything in front of him BC then I’m just be irrationally emotional. The only thing that keeps me from going through with it is my 3 children I can’t imagine ever putting them through something as horrible as that, I lost my father at a young age and I don’t want my children to feel that pain. However it does not change the fact that I have felt this way everyday for the past 7 years. I hide my pain and severe anxiety to prevent criticism from those around me but especially lately I feel like I’m drowning and even if I did extend my hand for help no one would be there to grab it. I feel so trapped in my own head and I don’t know what to do about it…

    • I am so sorry your husband does not understand. Have you tried talking to a counselor? Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches here – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp It is free and totally confidential and we can connect you to more resources. Depression and anxiety are real physiological things that can be treated successfully with medication and counseling. You sound like a loving mom and I want you to be free of these anxious and overwhelming thoughts so you can enjoy life. Please chat online with us. We are here for you.

    • And we also have a free eBook about anxiety. You can download it here at this link – https://info.thehopeline.com/anxiety-ebook The book might help you husband understand your anxiety better.

  318. i dont feel safe anywhere 🙁 I am useless and everyone hates me!

  319. EVERYONE in this world is against me!

    • have you met everyone? or are you just generalizing? there is always SOMEONE by yourside.
      Love from all my heart ~T

  320. the people in my school pretend to have suicidal thoughts just so they get attention which shows no respect for the people that do actually feel this way

  321. i think im done. i dont wanna live anymore to see my so called friends being angry that im there. i dont have anyone to talk to. my ” bestfriend” wont care. she will probably be happy without me there. i need help please

  322. I dont even care bout life anymore. Im too scared to end it myself so I’m just waiting for something to kill me. I take more risks by walking on the street and what not. Doing things like grocery shopping etc in the more dangerous part of town. I’m not living, just breathing.

  323. i have these thoughts that the world would be better off without me in it.

  324. no one but me knows being truly hated, with a slave-driving mom, a dad who likes to beat me up, a brother who beats me up and I get in trouble for it, and another brother who’s life is so much better than mine that he actually brags about it and who is listening to the song, you will be found over and over just to keep myself from suicide, and crying myself to sleep each night, and feeling like my life is a play for some cruel kings who like to laugh at my every faliure.

    • hey, are you still there ?? noah?

  325. I think of killing myself cause my life is filled of pain I lost someone I loved cause I moved that all I do is move I can’t stay in one spot for a year so y is the point of living if your not happy ya theirs things in life u should live for like my mom she is very sick but my life is nothing I’m a 13 year old who cuts her self who wants help but can’t get cause I haven’t told my mom talk shouldn’t do nothing to hurt your self just think of your family or your love ones
    Love,
    Rosie

    • Rosie, it sounds like you have been through a lot. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches. You can download the APP on your phone or click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp The chat is free and totally confidential.

  326. I have been thinking about killing my self I don’t know what to do with life no more, all I do is work when I come home to a empty house. My baby mother just left me it was my fault cuz I didn’t treat her right but I try my best to get her back but she act like she hate me . I haven’t see my kids like in 4 days . And that’s something is killing me I can’t love without my kids .. I have no body to talk to cuz I don’t trust nobody .. idk what to do with life I don’t really want to live anymore I’m 25 years old I’m supposed to have a life but no I don’t . . I don’t want to live anymore

    • Please do not give up. Your children need you so much and there will be good times in the future with them. You can chat with a trained HopeCoach here at TheHopeLine®. All chats are free and completely confidential. We are here for you, to support and encourage you, and help you get through this. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  327. i really wanna kill myself … please help me i’m so depressed

    • are you still here ?

  328. I don’t know What to do. I’m only 13 years old and I don’t have anyone to talk to. My mother knows that I’m suicidal but she doesn’t take it seriously. I’m going through a hard time now.

    • We are here to talk so chat with us when you can. We want the opportunity to help you through this hard time. Chat at: http://www.TheHopeLine.com/gethelp.

  329. Hi, I’m not loved by my friends and they cant wait to replace me my brothers don’t care about me and wished i was never born, they even told me so. My parents are oblivious of the situation they always tell me to be strong so i cant really tell them anything. My mom makes fun of me most of the time. And nobody ever comes near me or even tries to be my friend so im just trying to reach out to someone because i feel alone and unloved.

    • Hey there, if you read some of the other comments on this blog, you can see that you are not alone in feeling alone and unloved. There is hope, please chat with us so we can encourage you and help you find help. Chat with us: http://www.TheHopeLine.com/gethelp.

  330. I am bad at what I do and it is driving me into harbouring suicidal thoughts.

    • Nina, We care and we want you to know you’re not alone, and if you need help or support or someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or chat online with one of our HopeCoaches at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp.

  331. I’m bad at what I do and it’s driving me to harbour suicidal thoughts.

  332. I’m in a bad situation at work; they fought to bring me on board, they wanted me so much (I’d worked with them before), but within 2 months, they were trying to fire me because of my disability (“working with you is a rollercoaster. I never know if you’ll be able to come into the office or telework last-minute.”) my boss sits me down for a cumulative 4 hours a week telling me I am disappointing him, that my schedule is “erratic” and I’m dishonest about my ability to work. I’m on short-term disability right now, but they’ll be giving me a failing annual evaluation, meaning I will never be able to apply for any other government jobs again. HR assures me that they cannot retaliate for health reasons, so they have backed off of that, but they have decided to fire me over forget to CC important people on an email and not fixing it until 45 minutes later. I’m an at-will employee, so there’s not much they can do. I’ve been an executive level communicator and have applied to over 30 jobs and can’t get anyone else to consider me. My boss just found out I’m looking…
    I’ve had to go on 3 heavy antidepressants and an anti-anxiety meds all since starting this job (I was on none before and did not have depression). I’ve begun cutting myself. I keep my scissors and razors in the kitchen, a shared space with my roommates.
    My counselor of 5 years has not been able to give advice to help break through the crippling despair and feelings of worthlessness. I’m single in a religious culture (also LDS) that emphasizes family and feel rootless. I’m across the country from my family and we’re not close; they all have their own nuclear families that they’re caught up in. My roommates want me to move out because I’m soon to be laid off, I have racked up thousands of dollars in health bills and am soon to be laid off, and I can’t date because of failing health. I pray and only feel bleakness. I speak to my bishop and he tells me God loves me and has a plan for me, but that doesn’t help me in the short term. I’m scared, in pain, and alone without anyone in my corner to help me with these horrific odds.
    I know these problems might be small in perspective, but I have no one to financially support me, have been denied for government disability, so I need to work and can’t get another job to pay for the health care I need.

    • Melissa, You have been through much and understand your feelings of being overwhelmed by the financial challenges you are having and finding a job with your disability. We may not have all of the answers for you…we want you to know that you are worthy and valued and we are proud of your for reaching out to talk about what it going on. Please chat online with one of our HopeCoaches we have some resources that may help with your emotional support as you go through this season in your life. We want you to know you’re not alone, and if you need help or support or someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or chat online with one of our HopeCoaches at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. We want you to know you’re not alone, and if you need help or support or someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

  333. My names michael im 17 and i have a girlfriend and shes has my first son.she wont let me see him she says stuff all kinds of bad stuff to me.i i was diagnosed with depression
    a year ago every time i see a pic of my son it breaks my heart that im not with him i just want to hug him kiss him. I just want to kill my self i cant take this anymore i cant

  334. Look, I’m scared. And, if I call the number for the prevention thing I’m afraid of them coming to my house. I keep feeling the urge to just, die.. Just to know what it’s like to not feel anything. But I know it would only hurt my loved ones. T=At this point I’m willing to try anything to get out of whatever hell hole I have dug myself into.
    -Emily

    • Emily, We are sending you an email with a resource to help you with what is going on. We know you’re scared and we understand. It’s important that you talk to someone about what is going on before you do anything that’s permanent. You’re life is valuable.

  335. ya help is bullshit, they either put you in drugs or charge you over 50$ an hour to speak with someone who will never understand you. Suicide IS the only way out, i’ve been thinking about suicide daily for the past 5 years, it doesn’t get better, it never does, not when you’re talentless, worthless, can’t do everything everyone your age can and can’t even open a bottle or jar because you have no physical upper body strength which means you can’t do much else that you would need to to survive. for people like me, there is no other option but to wait till that survival instinct is completely numbed out and you can finally die in peace.

    • We are sorry you feel this way. You are not alone. You are worthy and your life is important. Never ever give up. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

    • I’ve been white knuckling my suicidal thoughts for years. Tried to get help many ways. I called the suicide Hotline and the guy actually yelled at me how it wasn’t his problem! I would never call again. tried telling my mom more than once. Every time she asks me if I’m hearing voices…doesnt know the difference between clinical depression and other mental illness. I don’t know if I’ll make it. I feel like I live with a murderer and the murderer is me

      • Yep I was once hung up on by a suicide hotline- the guy said there were “more important things happening right now”. Will never call again. I cannot save my child from horrific abuse and when his abuser finally kills him I will kill myself.

          • I called the National Suicide Prevention hotline and was also told “why are you calling here? This isn’t a counselling service? This is Detroit! And we have REAL emergencies” I had told her I’d been raped by my boyfriend. She said “It’s not like you were dragged off the street by a stranger” and kind of laughed. When I tried calling the next night because I was suicidal still and desperate she hung up on me.
            I was also tole many of them are not even volunteers but work at a medical place and are made to do it so many don’t WANT to do it and find it annoying. You’ll NEVER know what that feels like to be treated that way AFTER you have been raped and feel like dying. If I’d been better I would have complained but I was and still am too weak. I feel i was abused & belittled by this woman. So now if I feel that way at 2 am I am too afraid to call any crisis line.

          • We are so sorry you experienced this a the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It’s important that you are heard and that what you’re going through is validated by who you are talking to. We are not a crisis line, but our HopeCoaches are available to listen to what you are going through. We do have a partner that may help you at Rainn.org. You may be familiar with them. They are a specific resource for sexual assault. This page on their site may be of some help https://www.rainn.org/after-sexual-assault. It is a crisis line and we understand your fear of calling one after the treatment you received. Please try to call Rainn’s Crisis hotline at800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online with one of their specialist at https://hotline.rainn.org/online/. We sincerely hope you find the help you need that listens and understands.

        • You need to get rid of the abuser and give one last worth of your life for the betterment of your kid.Even if it’s at a price.

    • Hey, I just would like to say, you are a very beautiful, and an intelligent individual. You definitely are not alone when it comes to pointing out your flaws, because earnestly, I have a lot of them myself. Anyway you are very unique. Think about it like this, out of all of the billions of sperm that raced up that canal, to create life, because they wanted to live. Your’s beat out all of the others. So, that in itself, makes you real unique. You’re highly intelligent, and eventhough i don’t know you, I do see it in your writing.

    • I feel the same

    • no it is not. there are people who want to hepl you.

      • Gracie, Are you still with us. I just wanted to know and hope you are. I am a veteran, I often have thoughts I cannot get rid of. I waited recently for my wife who was out of town to get home so I could tell her how I think about it more and more with much more intensity. When she got from visiting daughter and her mom, I was blamed for something I didn’t do right off the bat. The therapy I hoped for only made things worse. I think of how many people have suffered because of me. I also had a tuff childhood at a young age. I do not remember everything, much actually, but have quick flashes now and then.
        I am gonna fight against this. I have kids, and have experienced family member (uncle) committing suicide. He was not real close, but I wish I had done more.
        I am tuffer than those who quit in life. I just will fight against these feelings. I believe satan is real now. I will not fall to this piece of crap.
        I hope your still around, would love to hear back.

    • I’m in the same place. I will end it soon just don’t know how yet. I don’t care about life anymore but I do care about the people I am going to leave but what I care does not matter at this point. I hope you are well. Goodbye.

      • You still here Steve?

    • Im sorry your suffering..Ive suffered depression since young..i hid it well till my twenties..this went on to vertigo…cfs..fibromyalgia then arthritis now hypermobility and ddd…ive always been active..ive had five children all grown up now and employed…im 47 now and took my own life two years ago because i had been told repeatedly theres no cure for any of the diagnosis i have..i get suicidal thoughts often and its a challenge not to act on them..eventually after ive slowed down and struggled to fake happiness any longer..all friends dropped off.. i got so low i commited suicide..when i was found i was out of it for 4 days in hospital.. and then left with the embaressment of still being here. I have since been seeing a person centred therapist thinking this might help..it has a little bit…to know there someones there to vent to once a week but this can be fustrating when im okay on monday but have to talk about the crap way i feel over and over..its getting a bit much now and i got so desperate the other night i went on to a pain site for cfs/ME..who informed everybody with evidence based information that the goverment are responsible for the epedemic of depression.. autism..ME.cancer and the majority of diseases given to us through the compulsery immunisations they force us to have…and therapists cannot help as much as theyd like to because if this imformation is correct.. i have a chemical imbalance and disturbance that have been created through viruses put in our bodies through these immunisations that attack our nervous system and brain stem cells. This stops our brain from functioning affectivley….we have all been done to and there are ways to fight back..please check out hummingbird site for ME/cfs and the goverment cover up…i felt a bit gob smacked on reading it but i am also spreading the word..it might help..the site also gives advice on how to fight of the toxins put in our bodies..so this might help too..im not sure ive quite absobed it all or know where to go from here but any hope is better than no hope at all..i hope you find some comfort.

    • Doesn’t matter if you have all the talent in the world either. I’ve spent the past 15 years trying to make up for the fact that my parents were abusive who kicked me out when I was still a child.
      I had a 4.0 GPA in engineering, and was healthy enough to run a 6 minute mile, and was of slightly above average looks, and it meant nothing before the weight of the world. The better you do, the more people expect from you, and that never ends until you realize you have done nothing but be a servant to people who feel they are better than you regardless of your accomplishments.
      Given just the medical costs of my diminished health, much of which was made worse by being homeless off and on so much since childhood (caused by a schizophrenic mother who talked to God, and decided I was guilty of several things I was not, which ended in punishments that frequently accounted for missing blood in my veins), life has been a struggle to even receive medical care.
      What is messed up is we live in a world where we put sick dogs down, but we keep unhealthy, unloved humans around as if they were a pet to stroke our ego’s with.
      People wonder why mass homicide is up so high, this is it. We live in a world where people are figuring out exactly how hollow people are, after being told a bunch of absolute crap about how things will get better over and over again.
      The only reason people will tell you to stay alive is they are selfish. No one wants to be the person who talked to you last before you suicide. It makes them feel responsible, and that is the truth of ’empathy’ on this subject.

    • I completely understand where you’re coming from on this…i’m middle aged (i mention this because ANOTHER annoyance is that most “help” for suicidal people is aimed at youth) & i have struggled with suicidal thoughts off & on a LONG time. I’ve had all of the following & nothing helps, no meds, no therapy, no advice or input from anyone helps. When i have a brief time of not feeling suicidal, it is so very temporary and soon replaced with the same old sh*t feelings. It is sad that so many of us feel this way….😕😔

      • Angel, I have those feelings too. They tried everything with me including ECT. I feel like if I could just be with a certain type of people and not know all the horrible things about the world I MIGHT be able to at least cope. But I’m surrounded by – a lot of people who hate me for unknown reasons or just say “It will get better. DON’T kill yourself. ” but then they just leave me alone for weeks after I’ve told them I’m seriously suicidal. Sorry, that’s not really what you were saying but I do know the awful hopeless gut wrenching feelings or worse numbness. Feeling a bit better soon makes me want to cry because then I realize how bad i feel most of the time.

      • You are not alone

  336. Why? is continuing to live once you are born mandatory? Why *not* die (yeah, “you have so much to live for”, “it will pass” (I am 37!!! lol). Nope – seriously, why continue to live?

  337. One reason people are afraid to get help is because they are afraid of being locked up against their will in a psychiatric hospital. I will never forget the abuse I survived not once but twice when I called for help. The hospitals in my state are horrible. The abuse in the system for the mentally ill is worse than anything I ever imagined. If I could talk someone confidentially without them tracing the call and sending the police and an ambulance I would. Court orders holding people against their will are mandatory therefore I won’t even go to a hospital. If there was a crisis line where I could actually get counseling and have someone assist finding outpatient care I would feel safe calling. I know this subject is up for debate but when someone is hopeless, putting them in an environment where they feel threatened isn’t going to help them.

  338. I am feeling to run away from home and get a new family or start a new life as a baby with a new family because am being abuse for no reason and always picked on at school as well and nothing came out of it i am just fedup of life feeling like i didnt ask to come in this world to suffer while trying to make progress as a teen 🙁

  339. Feeling that way now

  340. This article is infuriating and condescending. It’s a lot to ask someone to be there for you in that way. My people just always want you to reassure them you’re fine when they see it on your face that you’re not. It’s exhausting, I’m tired of acting ok; I feel crazy. If I could simply go find an activity to distract me from my thoughts I certainly would have done it already. What’s your next suggestion; exercise and eat right. No kidding, if I could do all of those things I probably wouldn’t be depressed & suicidal but I can’t so your article just adds to my self loathing loser guilt

    • I understand. they all say that.

  341. I’m so tired of life, I’ve been trying to ignore the depression and move on, but its just becoming too much for me what do I do

  342. I’m so tired of life, I’ve been trying to ignore the depression and move on, but its just becoming too much for me

  343. well , i’m like a fat ___ walking over here and i always get jokes about how do i look and i’m so ugly and i will never be a like the girls and that is like a knife twisted in my chest and it hurts like heck, why god made me in this way knowing it gonna burn me , i can’t stop thinking about killing myself and its so hard the stop this pain inside , so i think its the end

  344. All the time I feel like suicide will fix everything even though I know it wont. I’ve tried diverting it but it always comes back, even though I go to the therapist almost every single month it still doesn’t help. I don’t know why but every single time I do feel suicidal I feel like everything in my life is my fault, my sister getting stage 2 neuroblastoma celiac disease coughing up blood and everything with her is my fault I also feel like any choice I make is always the wrong one. I want help it just feels like nothing does.

  345. I want to hurt myself again I want to jump off the roof I want to die and I’m scared I’m really scared I can’t do this anymore I’ve gone 2 weeks clean and I relapsed I can’t do this anymore

    • Thank you for reaching out to us. You are important and you matter! We have a partner that can help you with the self-harm. They can help you with the relapse. You also do not have to be a teen to contact them. They are Door of Hope4 and their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org . You can email them at doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs) for help or you can text them at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST. Please reach out to them and let us know how you are doing.

  346. I don’t know what to do . I always get rumors spread about me. I’ve been with god my whole life I’ve followed his footsteps but I want him to already take me home . I don’t want to be in the place where I treat people so nicely and I care and put other people before me. But they stab me in the back tell me to kill my self,, I’m a problem , I have no right being here, I am useless no one knows how I feel . I’m really good at soccer , I’m on my varsity highschool team , primer club league and get good grades . At home my step mom always tries to make problems between me and my dad and get me in the most trouble so it keeps the blame off of her kids I fell like if I use left I would help so many peoples lives

  347. I am 29 years old, I feel like I have a depression,
    I love my bf so much, we went out for 7 years, but he recently told me that he never plan to get marry…and I know he doesn’t love me that much,
    I also have financial problem, I don’t have a decent job.. I don’t have much friends..
    Also, theres things that I cannot tell others..
    I feel very tired these days..
    I don’t know what to do about life anymore..
    somehow, I just want to fade out..
    or take a pill and restart again..
    I wonder why happiness is not for me..

    • I understand more than you know. you are so lucky to have a bf…I have never had a real one. I have thinks I can not tell others. I dont know how to express it but your feeling is mine. I would love to chat with you if you want to? I am a female in the UK 27 years old.

  348. I tried to avoid Facebook, it makes me want to kill myself more..
    people post their happy life, i feel really jealous

  349. I don’t even know where to start to look for help I feel helpless I feel useless I feel pathetic nobody’s ever wanted me since I was 6 years old and there is so much in my life that is piling on and piling on I just don’t know how much more I can take I have 40 Years of hell that I have kept in this stupid pathetic thing of a body that here I am right now in the bathtub just waiting to die and I don’t even know why I’m talking to you I don’t even know why I’m trying I don’t care anymore I’m sorry but I don’t care

  350. I hate myself every moment of everyday. I know they say to talk friend…talk to family…I have tried that and people dont care or they use me because they know I am useless and desperate for love. I dont feel well and I have rang the helpline a few times but I can not talk…I was recommended by my NHS support to go the out with friends…I have no friend…even if I did who would want to spend time with a loser like me…I am not dramatic but it is too late for me…I have ruined everything and even my own mum hates being around me…I dont want to die but living is being crazy while everyone else has a life or a partner or a purpose…I am just dead already.

  351. Hello. Everyone is pretty much ignoring me. I feel lonely. They keep avoiding me.

  352. I’m only 13 years old and I feel that if I talk to my mom she’s just going to scream at me. I go to therapy but all I say is that I’m fine. I just can’t express myself. SOOOO I resorted to Google and I found this page. I just really need someone to talk to.

  353. I’ve been thinking about this since I was 6, I’m 22 now I can’t talk to anyone cause my pride won’t let me and I can’t seek help cause it would make me feel week. I grew up the black sheep and always do for others but that doesn’t help I’ve isnt for everyone but I can’t let the people I love know and I’m really good at hiding my feelings with all the thinlgs I went through from my mother trying to kill me cause I didn’t fit it to people telling me I ruin their lives too but not one person knows how I feel be cause I can’t show it so I live a life that can get me killed hoping everyday is the day it finally happens so I at least don’t look week I’ve drank myself to death with pills and vodka pulled the trigger and my gun jammed and I’m not strong enough to do it again because people are acting like they care and I can’t hurt the ones I love idk what to do

  354. when nothing and no activities will give HOPE and Love, what’s there to live for???

  355. I’m 14 years old and suicidal. I may be looked happy on the outside but in the inside. Always thinking of the worse and letting myself down all the time. Until a year, i friend came into my life. She comforted me when i was crying, she was there when i’m feeling alone or down. She keeps encouraging me to do the things i like. But the thing is, my family always get’s in the way, they were controlling my every movements and constantly seeing the bad on me. Letting out words that would scar me for life. They never really supported what i wanted to do. So, i became a rebel one but i knew which was good and which was bad. I kept continuing the rebellion act and guarded myself. Until one day, they broke down my walls and starting hurting me really bad. They kept shaming me in the public and they enjoyed every little thing they did to me. I cared for my family alot but never really showed it. My father was alcoholic and my mother works abroad, one day, my father came home 3:00AM on the 20th of december. I was fuming mad because a storm were heading to our home town and left us alone in the house with no food to eat. I told my mother everything and she was furious. He messaged my dad saying that she wants to end their relationship and other hurtful things. So, my father became mad at me, he wouldn’t even spare me glance and he always pretend that i’m a stranger and blame me for everything. I said that to mother because it was too much for me to handle, everynight he’d leave us just to get to his friends house and drink. I guess i’m too nosy, i shouldn’t told my mother that maybe this wouldn’t happen. Me and my father had a strong connection and just ruined it. I can’t take it anymore i want to commit suicide without telling someone about it. But i can’t. Sorry for the long story.

  356. I am wanting to die so I can be out of pain. I do not understand why I am so deeply depressed.

  357. I agree with some. I’ve had depression on and off for over 10 years now and every few months I dip back down and I contact the people I trust to spend time with them or to help me get back up until my next relapse. At this point they are tired of it and no one wants to answer my calls anymore. No friends, family, acquaintances etc. And my therapist has given up on me, no other therapist will see me without charging hundreds an hour, I’ve tried dozens of medication combinations that either don’t work, or start losing their effects over time despite taking them perfectly according to instructions. I’ve called several therapists, some of which have told me if I’m not willing to spend money on treatment, that my life must not be worth that much or I must not be that bad off. “Can’t spend 200 on a session to save your life? If you don’t think your life is worth 200 then how can I value it either?”. Is what a therapist literally told me before hanging up on me. I’ve also called suicide prevention hotlines and was told “Look, you’re being a burden on others if you think you need people to keep living. Do you think it’s fair to depend on others when you’re suicidal?” And I was hung up by the major suicide prevention hotline. On a suicide prevention web chat the person told me that I was selfish and should end my life. A PERSON MEANT TO HELP! Suicide is the only option now, when no one cares. When you’re truly contemplating suicide, no one cares.

  358. what if there no one that can help? we all know that medical professionals are merely doing a good job, they are NOT there. the person who is there is Gone. what hope or helpline are we talking about…………..sorry for being direct. help please…but how?

    • seek your TRUE friends and not fake one, family (parents, sibling, aunts and uncles…), neighbors or simply anonymous people on the social media and web which might share what your are going through and help you get through. There is always someone to help, if not…. God is the only one remaining by your side… always.

  359. My dad thought u stole from him even though I never did he didn’t believe me said he wanted nothing to do with me and I’d be best if I kill my self I’m a disappointment but I kept myself from it but I can’t stop thinking about it after 4 months he called me and told me he apologizes because my brother finally told him it was him not me I’m back at my home but I feel worried and just feel like ending it all would be best I don’t know why I got his feelings but my dad is threatening he’ll kick me out that’s probably it it’s been a 2 months since and that feeling won’t go away almost did it today but my friend called me and I told him he stopped me but I feel like nobody cares and the world will be better without me.

  360. No one really cares unless you inconvenience them or stop paying them; even then more often than not you’re greeted with anger or consequences than with empathy or concerns regarding your feelings and needs.

  361. I’m 50 years old never been anything in life, i push people away at times i can barely think of anything but killing the waste of skin i have become. everything pisses my off, i hate everything, I’m just worthless, i cant even sit in the living room with company, because i think i will bring them down , I’m sitting here with my 9 mm pistol , I’m sure i will get pushed to the edge

  362. I sometimes feel like suicide. I feel like no one understands me and I have no one to talk to. I’m still a kid and since i’m a kid people think that I don’t have problems at all. Whenever I try to talk to my mom about it, she just yells at me and tells me she doesn’t care, and I don’t have any friends to talk to either. I talk to a counselor, but I feel like they don’t care either, as long as they get paid they’re happy. I feel like no one will care if i’m dead anyway, because a few weeks ago, someone suicided and it was on the news and people said, “Oh that’s too bad” and then they just forgot about him. I don’t know what to do.

    • Caleb, Thank you for your blog comment. We care about you and want you to know you are valuable and worthy. How about talking to one of our HopeCoaches? You can chat online with one 7pm – 12am CST Monday – Saturday. They would listen and help you through this.

    • Hey Caleb I am listening.

  363. i recently self harmed…. My suicidal thoughts flood in i cant talk to anyone without them shoving pills down my throat or sending me to useless therapy i know i can talk to people but im not allowing myself to it hurts so much and i just think of how ill die or how ill do it it is so realistic and so graphic and glued in my mind and im only 13 years old i hate myself so much I just want it to all fade away with me but ill never feel it

    • Thanks for reaching out. It’s important that you talk to someone about what is going on. Would you talk to our friends at http://www.doorofhope4teens.org? They will help with the need you are having to self-harm. You can text with them at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST. They have helped me girls that are struggling, like you. Please give them a chance to help you through this.

  364. That’s a lie. Not everyone is loved. And it sounds cheap. I have no one on this planet that would be a live contact for me. My boyfriend says I’m crazy and laughs at me when I’m upset and doesn’t talk to me until he thinks I’m “better”.My sister, the only other adult person in my life, says I’m crazy too and acts like I am intentionally being miserable. So the only two people in my life that should love me actually are abusive by treating me like a burden. It sucks to feel like life is nothing. Because I am so emotional, everything ends up being my fault, even know they were in the wrong, they know I’ll freak out and start crying, so I’m permanently the guilty one in all circumstances .They say “think positive ” but that has gotten me no where at all. I googled the cheapest crematory, and it’s 500 bucks, and I also googled the tallest bridges in king County. I swear if I die I won’t have anyone pay cash for my dead body. I’ve been suffering so long. And I have no one to talk to. I wish my mom would come comfort me in a dream. And I’ve always tried my best, but my smile can’t be faked anymore, and my sadness is worse than death to those around me. I don’t know why a shadow of sadness has been eternally cast upon me. I have so much beauty in my mind that this shadow steals. I’ve become a prisoner in my own head. I’m so lonely. I wish someone understood me. Or cared. I can’t cure myself. I can’t even take care of myself. The sickness has gotten worse and I feel like there is not even a temporary escape anymore. I was once a woman with a beautiful mind. But now I am a sliver and no one recognizes me. When the mighty fall, the minions scatter. The hand that you offered to them in their dark hours is not reciprocated. It’s too hard to watch someone fall to such a miserable state. Much easier to abandon. I find myself starring at people. I wish I could find someone sad like me and help them. Sometimes I’m positive I’m from another planet. Waiting for my real people to arrive and take me to where I really belong.

  365. I’m only13 and my life is so depressing I feel like killing myself everyday

    • You are valuable and worthy. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that will call you and help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

  366. Why should I keep living? My life is garbage. I’m failing every class, everyone bullies me and I will never be good enough for anyone. I’ve though about suicide almost daily for a year. Honestly, it seems to be my only option…

    • Ashton, You are valuable and worthy. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that will call you and help you through this. If you are open to this, please message us at thehopeline.team@thehopeline.com so we can get some information from you. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

  367. When they say…your at the bottom, I am! I’ve always struggled. Whether it was self esteem, college and putting myself through, and since… constant high stress jobs and failed relationships because I couldn’t handle both.
    I’m now 45, still single female, took a new job to finally have work life balance and stupidly tried to buy a house at the same time. It was too much!
    Well…three weeks into the job, they tripled my goal, I was dealing with illegal issues that my boss wouldn’t respond to and working non-stop. I ended up having a brain hemmorage and med flighted. But let me say this first…I worked three back to back 12 plus hour days and was throwing up blood on the side of the road at midnight. I got home…felt suicidal bc…I was like I can’t do this…this grind…no help…const constant stress…I just want to die. It’s too much. So I sent my boss an email draft…it sent accidentally. Yes stupid…but if you were feeling way I had and worked non stop for 20 years…you might understand
    I guess I thought with this job…I had run a long race as fast as I could and finally…I was seeing light with a smaller territory. It wasn’t.
    Now I’m 5 months out…had to take two just to recover my health. There is nothing…I’ve been top of my company’s…sent out countless resumes, networked etc. I am also stuck with this stupid house I bought…it’s falling apart. The agent I used lied (while I was going through intense training) and things weren’t up to code.
    So…I’m unemployed, single, depressed and not seeing an end it anything other than bills to look for in sight…so I set a plan to commit suicide. I don’t see a reason to continue. I’m exhausted and have prayed, reached out…and not sure what to do. Because I’ve had to work so much…I don’t have a great network. I’m lost

    • Leigh, You have gone through a tremendous about of pain and struggle. We know it seems like it will never end with the current struggles you are having with being unemployed and the problems with your house. Please, please never give up…reach out and talk to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspxor Or sign up for one of our email mentors. You would be matched with a woman that you can email back and forth with for as long as you like about what is going on. She would listen, pray with you and help you through your pain ans struggles. To sign up for an email mentor go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors

  368. I want to die now. Tell me how can i die easy. Pleaseeee…

    • First of all, you are not a “stupid girl’. Second, always say no to death, because it is not the solution. Surely it might relieves you now from pain, but what then? What did you do in life that made YOU happy? You are not the only one suffering in the world. You might be facing a depression or anxiety, but other children, woman and men are suffering too. As a friend, always consider this before doing anything bad to yourself; say NO to DEATH. Love from all my heart ~T

  369. I would just like to say that I hope for a day where my mind finally has peace.I live on only because I want my parents to be happy.
    Otherwise I would have
    I’m so buried in a dark world that I can’t even tell the two apart even when it’s day light.
    I was betrayed and humiliated by my closest friends.
    I only continue to walk and fight on because I refuse to give the satisfaction to my ex wife.
    Even at its worst I don’t think I’ll give in.
    I’ve lived in hell!But the pain I’ve felt and lived with for the last few years is one like no other

  370. I’m losing it.
    Day after day.

    • Hello friend, i don’t know how tired you are or how depressed. I can only tell you to live with yourself even if you think you are inferior to everyone else, useless, weirdo…. i keep telling my friends the same thing; you think people are looking at you all the time, watching your every move. It is not true. Perhaps some of them are, but why don’t you look on the bright side? there are still good people on this earth even if you didn’t meet any of them just yet. You are not the only one suffering or thinking about bad thoughts! We are all humans after all and we should face our problems together. ( i saw that you wrote this comment only 8 days ago, I hope you receive it). Love from all my heart ~T

  371. WELL I AM NOT A YOUNG ADULT OR TEENAGER anymore. I turned 60 this year. Feeling extrememly suicidal. I hate sleep, nightmares. I have chronic PTSD from childhood abuse that was sexual, mental, and emotional. I experienced terrorism and brutal gang rape when I was in the Navy (age20) I have nightmares at least 3 times a week (usually more) My life is not anything that I could have ever imagined or wanted. I have been married 4 times…….mostly for survival/insurance reasons…… 3 times to men (all before the age of 30) and once to a woman. I came out as a lesbian at a time when it was not protected by law. I was pretty much rejected by the lesbian community because I had a son. YES a boy Shheesh. Being lesbian in those days meant hating men and boys became men. Consequently, after my first breakup with a woman, back to a man I had to go. Pickings for women to women partners were slim back then and those that were out didn’t want to be a mom or around any kids……especially a boy. Now it is fashionable for lesbians to have children…… Times were HARD when I was a young adult. I didn’t fit in anywhere. I had no support from family and my son had social issues. He was quirky, hyper active, and we couldn’t relate to one another. He rarely slept. He had a genius mind but kept getting kicked out of kindergartens (4 in all) My immediate family was crazy dysfunctional, manipulative, LOUD, conditional.
    My body was a mess. I had to have several GYN surgeries and tumors removed all before the age of 24. I had a total hysterectomy by the time I was 25 and almost died of a pulmonary embolism when I was 19 yrs old. I gave birth to my son when I was 22 and had a horrible, bloody, miscarriage in the second trimester when I was 20 (the gang rape had left me pregnant) Now that I am 60, all of my closest relatives are dead (24 at last count) my only family is my 2 year old grandaughter, my son & his wife (who I cant talk to because she only speaks Japanese) My son also speaks Japanese, I don’t. They live in the bay area of California. Sadly, I cannot live near my son due to the high cost of housing where he lives in California. I have been out priced out of my native State. Sadly, my mancub only talks on the phone with me every 3 or 4 months. He has Asperger’s Syndrome and hates to communicate with me. He has a brilliant mind but was a difficult child to relate to. Somehow he has managed to eke out a social .life in a Japanese community. He is an engineer with a technical, creative, mind. He doesn’t care for American culture. To my surprise, he is enjoying fatherhood and is very engaging with his daughter. Anyway, I still miss him. I want to be an involved grandmother but it isn’t possible. I think that he is glad that I don’t live nearby. but maybe not…….it could just be the Asperger part of him that is glad. I would have to be a millionaire now to live where I raised my son and where I was born. Perhaps I could rent a room in a place with strangers but THAT is too scary for me. I live alone now in a nice house that i am buying. Being alone is both nurturing AND isolating. Happily, I now have a PTSD service dog that was awarded to me last month. He was highly trained by a caring professional dog trainer through a wonderful program that helps veterans with PTSD and certain medical issues. My dog is there for me when I have nightmares…he wakes me up, turns on the light, and gets me oriented/grounded. He can pick things up for me and bring them to me. He interrupts my crying jags by nudging and licking my face. He has public access and accompanies me wherever I go. I do not like crowds especially with men in them. I am hoping that my tendency to isolate myself gets better with this new dog partnership. I don’t have much of a sense of self or any interest in life. I have struggled with body issues and self acceptance all my life. I could go on and on about the woes of my life……. I live with chronic back pain (since my 30’s) herniated discs, fibromyalgia, and several hand surgeries. I have chronic tendinitis and also contracted genital herpes from my time in the service…..most likely from the gang rape; Vietnam veterans were the culprits. No telling what hell they went through over there or how many hookers they screwed err, hooked up with. One thing for sure, it changed who they were and turned them into some very twisted horrible people. They showed me pictures of some of the gruesome and brutal things that they had done to a Vietnamese mother and her child……and then showed me pictures of them killing her and the child. I was threatened with the same type of death that they did to her if I were to tell. I kept my mouth shut and lived in fear for 3 decades. I changed my name even……..I was always afraid that they would change their minds and kill me anyways. I didn’t want them to ever find me. My life has been a wild rollercoaster of feelings, highs and lows………mostly lows. I have read hundreds of self help books and had several counselors. I have taken/tried almost every med available over the years for depression and PTSD Also, during the past 9 years, I have been prescribed time released morphine for my back issues and Lyrica for fibromyalgia. I still have pain. It is just not the suicidal type that I used to have constantly (for that I am thankful! even though the pain restricts my activities. 🙁
    I want to believe in something (like a God) but I just can’t. I do not believe in a personified God or prayer. I believe in science and that meditation is good for one’s self. I grew up believing in a Christian God. I went to Sunday school and a non denominational Christian camp every summer. I lost faith when I was 17. I tried for years to get some kind of faith back. I tried just about every belief system out there……in earnest However, ALWAYS, it was as if I were play acting just to fit into something positive in life. I didn’t really believe. I am an agnostic leaning toward atheism. My intellectual mind knows that the bible is man made hundreds of years after the days that Jesus lived. Most of the bible is fiction based on myth…sorry fundamentalists; it is not meant to be interpreted literally! History and science solidified my doubts decades ago. I question EVERYTHING. I believe that man made god not the other way around……………but it is so SAD and difficult to have no faith; to live with doubt and questions that cannot be answered. It is a lonely path but I must be true to myself. Nevertheless, I do not believe in condemning anyone’s spiritual journey or beliefs. In many ways, I rather envy them…….
    I found this board tonight because I am suicidal. I was scared… …afraid that I just might swallow the bottle of phenobarbital that was my former elderly dog’s meds (he died last year) I miss him and so did my beloved 14 yr old Tucker. I grieve mostly for him; Tucker was my heart, my joy, my soul. dead now for 3 years. A part of me died along with him. RIP little man.
    I feel anxious. I dread having more nightmares. The past 3 nights have been like a horror movie. Every time I sleep, I awaken from a chilling nightmare. ugh! Also, I can’t quit dreaming of finding a way back home to golden central coast of California. I have become obsessed with real estate sites, housing markets, rentals, craigslist roommates wanted. ….buying is out of the question. Oh woe is me. Anxiety, loneliness, despair………..somehow, I have managed to make it this far. I hang on to the beauty in life. There is beauty in everything…….out of the ashes rises the phoenix. I just wish that I had less ashes.
    Well, this blog has been a gr8 distraction from suicidal ideation. My dog wants me to go back to bed and try again. I am going to dump the pills and take the bullets out of my gun. Another awful night thwarted. It is 4am. Feeling a bit tired. It is always easier to sleep when I know that it will be light out soon.
    Hang in there gang. I like what an author one said: “The question of suicide. Keep it a question; it isn’t an answer.” There is so much that I would have missed out on had I killed myself the first time that it crossed my mind……I was 23. I know that better moments are ahead. Life is a rollercoaster of emotion. Change your thoughts and your feelings will follow. Try not to dwell on the things and thoughts that trigger the suicide. Instead, write them out, talk them over, and let them go. The good stuff will roll around. My life sucks in so many ways but it also has a lot of sweetness………..That is what I will take back to bed with me tonight….sweetness. Not all of this Sh#$ that I just wrote about. AHA!!!!!! Hey I am feeling a lot better already. … . …. … until next time lol OR oh woe. Going to go read my happy thoughts happy times journal……….I forgot about that! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c8ef13a51cc48035ae4b44ed9cdcd10076513159f88bbcf9d6ca99b7e5071fd3.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/090bdd903fa1e97231c1e2547b782c41fa1f65bad263178f36c0dba8b33f70b1.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/69dfcca9c129bf918d82a9ef2979c043d084a148e823665a7cd4808d999a9a8e.jpg

  372. Oh my goodness……..I posted a long blog. First time ever. It was very helpful to me. thank you HopeLine for being here. I didn’t realize the size that my pictures would be when I posted them…..oops. I hope that seeing an older person’s perspective will help someone younger that is struggling. I try to see my suicidal thoughts as a BIG red flag that is saying STOP; something is amiss. Just stop the thoughts of suicide and/or share the thoughts that lead up to that point.
    Shift gears(thoughts) find something happier to think about or do. We have to be proactive to feel happy. We have to take ACTION. Write, draw, read, play a game, call a hotline, pretend that you are the hotline person, what would you say to yourself to help yourself get out of your negative emotional state. Anyway, think about it. If I can make it to 60 so can you! 🙂 I write journals, draw, scribble, throw rocks into water, sit in the sun, keep a special happy times journal and other types of journals for all of my thoughts or feelings to process. One journal I just draw my emotions……….anger often looks like scribbles. Don’t judge your drawing.. Lately I am painting rocks and putting words on them….just go 4 it. I am always surprised at what comes out. I especially like abstract drawings or painting to express my feelings. If you are underage and living at home feeling trapped………..hang in there. Try to go with the flow. Pick and choose your battles wisely. Don’t make things harder on yourself just to prove a point. The only one that will lose is you. Soon enough you will get to fly the coup. Try to enjoy the free food while you can lol. I have no idea why I just said this stuff for an underage person. I just remember how it was when I was young. I could hardly wait to get away but when the time came I wasn’t quite prepared. So enjoy your teenage youth. It will seem like it went by so fast when you look back on it. Right now it seems like a forever moment. Don’t buy into the negative and FOREVER because really, feelings change and so does our perception of things. PEACE https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bd0733ce024542451fdf5443ac4fb450b585bb0da3a0821aa96f6320a0231b97.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8b9c3d6e1f895aa9aa6d80288c8467c50ef85880f9727aa735affc4e65df6d8c.jpg

  373. I have severe anxiety. Tried ssri drugs, journaling, beta blockers, meditation, therapy, talking to a few people who care about me, I am h a hard time asking a psychiatrist for small amount of Benzo’ s but will be labeled as a drug seeker. I need some help.I live near Huntsville AL. Please anyone

  374. I think the only reason I haven’t ended my life is because it would hurt my partner. But I hate life and see no purpose for me but misery. I want to jump off a cliff one day and disappear. That’s my greatest wish right now…

    • You are valuable and worthy. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that will call you and help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.

  375. Genuinly finna kill myself. All i do is regret every decicion i make in my life and cry about it. I miss my childhood which my parents stole from me. and most importantly im 246 and im never going to get a girl so thats good. Ive tried to eat healhty and go to the gym for about 2 months and now im about to stop and kill myself. Its not like im going to ever be loved in my life again.

    • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that will call you and help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.

  376. There are always exists a way.

  377. Well what if, after all is done and said, you really don’t have anything to live for? No love, just people who want to use you, no prospects, no future. How cruel is that to make us go on living?!

    • Hyam, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  378. I feel the same. I have NO support. My family doesnt care, my own mother doesnt care, my husband acts like he cant wait for me to die… its only a matter of time. Im so tired of this world. It is not my home. It NEVER has been…

    • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  379. I just cant do this anymore..

    • Ash, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  380. my gf of 8 yrs got sick she thought i was trying to kill her or something this past yr cas took my son I’ve been raising since he was born my father is dying from cancer and now my gf left me after 8 yrs and we were sup[ossed to get married yesterday. I’ve been crying hysterically because she is my soul mate and i can’t live without her i love her so much i can’t lose her now i just can’t and nothing is going to stop me feeling so beat and torn up but a bullret I’ve been crying for five days non stop with no sleep

    • Joseph, You have gone through much and we want you to know that you’re valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • Hey Joseph Still here?

  381. I really need help. Everyday I tell myself every things gonna be alright, I remind myself everytime shamelessly. Yesterday I tried to talk with my aunt about my condition but she took this as a joke. Tell me why would I joke when I’m seriously in the danger to kill myself or hurt myself. I’m not strong enough to survive. It feels pathetic to be lonely. Please help me.

    • You are valuable and worthy and how you’re feeling is not a joke. It is serious. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  382. does not work im a kid and i want to die im sad and no one likes me and my mum drinks

    • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • Hi Jayden. I know this is a late response so I hope I can still reach you.your experience sounds similar to mine when I was growing up. My mom was an alcoholic and mentally ill. She had no capacity to love. I know how much it hurts. Please remember that soon you will have your own adult life and be free of the abuse. Also remember that you are not the cause of your mom’s illness. Use this insight to help others when you grow up. It will help you heal and help others who experience this pain in their lives. It may not look like a gift right now but your painful experience will give you the ability to help multitudes of hurting children. Please don’t give up!

  383. i am afraid my depression is worsen everyday. my thoughts of suicide are increasing. I want help but can not afford to seek it out and i am scared that i wont be able to pull myself out of this darkness i am in. This self hate i have. I just want the hurt to stop and feel like i never will.

    • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  384. I think about this everyday, constantly. I have no friends, no talent, I’m ugly, fat, not popular, unliked, worthless, etc. I’ve always felt like this. And I always will. I jus wanna go..

  385. All you mentioned in this site is bullshit for me caz I don’t live in us and I don’t have anyone listen to me ,the country I live in is a garbage .the creatures that called themselves human being is only will make fun of me whem I will tell them Iam depressed , I told my sister I’ve tried to kill myself three times and only she laughe on my face and called me stupid .Iam like a pet locked at the house
    Iam in middle twenties and I sat in home 24 hours .Iam not even allowed to go outside alone and I can’t have a job or breathe frish air and can’t even suicide peacefuly cuz I didn’t have a personal room
    Literally I have no one and nothing Iam a piece of pathetic crap

    • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. Some of them you can still use when you are out of the US. This list has some ways you can get help. Please look at it.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources. Also, you would benefit from having an email mentor too. It would be someone you can email back and forth with for as long as you like about what is going on in your life. To sign up go here:
      https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors

  386. First I am not suicidal. There were however times it was considered. The last ten years of my employment I was was in great pain but I pushed through the pain, depression, anxiety. My Boss sold the business and I was suddenly jobless. I was 61 too young to retire and unable to work due to pain. My coworkers had covered for me quite a bit. There were no jobs anyway we were in the middle of a recession. My Wife was infuriated. I heard her tell a friend on the phone. I’m not supporting any damn man. Even though that damn man put his heart, soul, and body into helping support her for 30+ years. She worked for the school system. Very low pay but a lot of time off. I had the opposite good pay but long hours on concrete floors, worn out knees, and virtually no time off. Any way she quit at the end of the school term. She had had a couple of bouts with cancer which luckily were caught very early and she was fine. I was told If I had a real disease like cancer she could understand. We are still married for financial reasons. But there is no relationship. There was a time I thought of suicide but started writing what I considered my accomplishments in life. I had done considerable. I was initially a mechianical engineer and developed the ground cooling system for the Apollo Rockets that carried us to the moon and back, a railroad tank car less likely to leak in a derailment and many other things. But manufacturing moved over seas and I went into the auto service business. Becoming Service Manager. That’s were my injuries occurred. I had doubled the size of two houses on weekends and after work with my own two hands so we had room for our two children. I had done quite a lot but the pain was intense and I turned first to alcohol to self medicate. I stopped that and turned to a pain clinic after the job loss. I was given MSER and hydrocodone for breakthrough pain. Then the first opioid crises hit and the DEA or CDC I’m not sure who but they put a lot of pressure on the Clinic. Through a misunderstanding I was taken off the MSER and went through cold turkey withdrawals. I returned to the pain Clinic and was put on Fentaynal Patches but quickly built a tolerance so I explained to the Dr. He weaned me off that and things had cooled down so I returned to just MSER. I had lost 100 lbs on the Fentanyl and wanted to go as low as possible but I went too low as I put 45 lbs back on. Now we are in another opioid crisis and I need to increase my daily dose by one pill they cannot do that as I also take Xanax for anexiety. Which I had all along but the Clinic fears the DEA which I understand. So I am not suicidal as I realized I didn’t waste my life but am labeled as a drug addict by my wife who attends NarcAno classes to help her cope with “my” problem. I’ve never harmed her or anyone and have no desire to do so but she does not understand there are very real medical problems besides cancer. Knee replacement was of course recommended but I fear that as it is so invasive and I have a propensity to infection in my lower legs for some reason. Probably poor circulation in that area as I am a big man 245 lbs. so rather than risk loss of my lower limbs or possibly septic infection I chose to take a few pills a day and cope with tolerable pain levels. Sorry for the length of this but I suspect others can relate. My ultimate point is suicide is not the answer you are worth something to us if no one else. Regardless of you circumstances.

    • Thank you for your post. I’m struggling and exhausted. I’m making the decision daily. Don’t want to cause my family the pain that I know all too well, but often think I’m causing them grief watching me deconstruct from the man I used to be.

  387. I am depressed on the constant. when bad things happen to me im depressed n when good things happen to me im depressed then i feel bad about myself for being depressed. im tired of being surrounded by family that not only doesnt understand me but will not take time to open up n listen to me. anytime they try to n i pour half my little heart out they go straight back to their own method of thinking because i guess what they think is whats set in stone, there’s no ifs, ands, or buts. i feel like im being punished for being sad, as if being sad on the constant isn’t punishment enough. something was blown up in my life n due to that my parents have now taken away my only two best friends. one friend really helps me take my mind off things n cares for me deeply, the other really helps me go deeper into my thoughts n let off steam n talk about every single thing on my mind, things i cant tell therapists. my family thinks my bestfriends own depression is rubbing off on me. last i checked thats not how it works, people don’t just get suicidal because their friends are. my parents are in complete denial of my conditions n so they’ve cut me off from everything i held dear. now im being forced to become friends with new people whether i want to or not, otherwise ill never see my phone or best friends ever again. i was already struggling before now everythings harder. im just upset they don’t understand my anger n sadness. things are what they are n i accept that but im just so tired n sleep isn’t the fix. my dad says things like the ones who should be depressed should be the kids in africa n on the streets, how can a person be so oblivious to something so important. i constantly get in trouble for what seems like just breathing. they’re frustrated n i get that but they don’t get that im frustrated as well. they’re soooo sick of me being this way, yea so am i. everyone now who is trying to help me is in it for their own benefits, whether it be less stress, worry, pay, etc. they’re trying to shove discipline down my throat now n at this point i feel as though whats going on is they think adding 100 pounds of weight onto the 200 thats already there will cause my knees to give out, ill fold, then stay quiet n put. then i won’t be capable of messing things up for me or them anymore. little do they try to know, its not things i do that cause me to be sad its things i think, things i see, things i hear, things i know, my mind. i have a diary n now with no friends to talk to, i write a lot in there. i feel like its so repetitive, i keep saying the same crap over just with different words.
    ‘ today was a bad day ” ” today wasnt the best day ” ” im so sad today ” ” im really going to try to make today good ” ” i dont care about today anymore”. thats basically what it is except about multiple things, no matter how much i try to diversify the topics i write about, its all the same. the same sadness, the same mind, the same schedule. im not allowed to do anything to change my schedule either n i dont even want to try. something as simple as going for a walk up my street n back will turn into a whole argument. also at school, something may occasionally slip out that should be concerning like ” i wanna die ” but that phrase has just become a joke that everyone uses over minor inconveniences so its not taken heavily anymore. part of me believes i use the phrase as a joke but the other part knows im not. i feel bad for this generation, so many kids are depressed n suicidal now its just become a normal thing. on top of writing in my diary i write short stories which helps a little but doesnt last long at all, i draw n write poetry n nothing works. i try to go outside n it feels great till i have to go back inside. i feel chained to this house n i feel chained to a life i dont want to lead. talking to people doesnt work at all, not unless theyre my bestfriends or unless im at my breaking point n if i dnt say something ill explode. lately i havent been acting myself, i say things to people id usually never want them to know, id never want anyone to know even though theyre simple such as ” i got my friend taken from me ” then after i say something like that i get mad at myself for saying anything. im a 15 year old girl so being treated like crap from guys is just one other knife into my back which has apparently become a target, whovever can get their knife closest to my heart wins. i had a boy i really care about n i know he cares about me but hes going through a rough patch in life right now as am i n doesnt know how to deal with any of his issues, he jus does stupid things to take the pain away n it genuinely sucks that i feel useless in helping him n myself or any of my friends. i feel like im in a cage n the more i press my hands against the walls to get out, the tighter the cage gets. one thing that wont die away is hope in my heart, i have so much hope in people who deserve none, i have hope in my future even though i doubt it will end up swell, i have hope in life even though life has proven over n over that its given up on me. im at a point where i wish i had no hope n i wish i wasnt self aware. having so much hope n being self aware at the same time is the worst thing ever. its like i believe i can still make it towards that one goal but i know with the type of person i am i will never reach that goal n im too drained to do anything about it. in all honesty i have no clue why im doing this, i guess i jus needed something to let steam off n for nobody else to know about it. im not going to kill myself due to people who rely on me but i sure as hell want to sometimes. the loneliness n sadness taunt me every single night, theres no escape, yet the nighttime is the only time everyone is asleep n i can truly be at peace n if im not at peace at least i can cry alone.

    • I’m sorry that you’re going through this. You deserve to be happy. I hope some day soon things get better for you <3

      • You just voiced my words. This is exactly how i feel right now. Iam amazed to see that there are people out there who feel exactly the way you feel right now. I dont know if I will ever get out of this snare that I am in right now but really hope you do. Just by knowing the fact that you are not alone in what you are going through really makes me feel a lot better. Thanx for speaking it out and pray that you find strength to overcome.

        • im sorry tht you relate to my post in any way. i know that its not fun. youre never alone in the way you feel, there are billions of people out there at least one is to somewhat understand you. i wish there was a way to privately chat on here so i could give u my info so i could be of more assistance! as a word of advice, try less to find your strength through others but more within yourself and i just recently found out what that truly means too. its months later and i dont think im doing any better but im trying and thats what matters, i hope you keep trying as well love.

      • haha i appreciate it love, im struggling still as its been months later but am still holding on <3

  388. I suffer from mental and physical illness and sometimes my chronic depression gets so bad. I don’t want to die but I am afraid that I’ll might do something. It’s like it hijacks my mind and makes me have bad thoughts. I have my mom to support me tho.

  389. I feel suicidal like a lot now..before i never even thought about it, i was depressed tho n cried so much n did stupid stuff to calm my emotions down!
    But i guess now like over a yr my mind is tired..’tired’ it’s what i always tell people when they ask me how i’m..but little do they know about how i feel soo f***** up..it sucks..depression like really drains your energy out..n then at times i have this empty feeling in my stomach..no idea why but then i start crying randomely!
    right now i’m just tryno put up with all of this..n da fact that some people start thinking you want attention cuz i dont tell them what’s making me upset..teachers getting worried & calling your parents..n da worst thing of all is i have a big group of friends..n i feel like some of them just sort of ignore me now cuz they dont wanna be depressed or seem dead!
    it’s lil things like these which make everything even worse..but then maybe i deserve this!
    it’s soo annoying this for such a long time now…that people telling you that you’r strong doesnt mean anything!
    However one thing..i always keep in my mind..what killing maself would leave family & friends condition..so whatever happens i know that sometimes life gets really tough but you need to give it some time n never give up..even if it feels like your whole worlds falling apart!

    • i agree w your little motto. dnt give up. if your friends dont seem to want you around for a stupid reason like that then they’re not your friends lol. things get rly hard but at the end of it all things HAVE to get hard in order for us to appreciate the good crap that happens to us.

  390. There’s no such thing as hope. At least not for me anyway. I have no reason to live anymore. I am a pathetic loser and I hate myself. I fell in love with someone only to learn he had a girlfriend. I told him how I felt in a letter and he ignores me now. I am done living!

    • Michele, We are here to listen. It is important that you talk to someone about how you are feeling. You are valuable and worthy and your life is important. Will you please talk to a crisis counselor? We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • hope does exist even if its not a concept in your mind at the moment, you cant just give up because of a boy. think of everything youve been through already in life and have had to endure, r u rly going to end it because one person who doesnt care about you enough to speak to you has a girlfriend? things end n life does go on even if theres a permanent scar on your heart, because trust me i understand how that can be, the scar that stains your heart will only be a reminder not to let it happen again n a boost to get on your feet when you feel the world is against you

    • Michelle, the fact that you loved means you are not a loser. It means you have much value in this world.
      Love is precious and a much sought after emotional commodity. One that cannot be bought, it has to be earned. I regret not knowing this when so was young. Wisdom, so they say, is wasted on the old.
      Unfortunately the person you bestowed your love on, didn’t appreciate your valued gift. Who is the real loser? The person who had honest love to offer or the one who didn’t appreciate it’s value and recognize it?

  391. I stopped believing in hope i feel lost and useless I was just being used the girl I love broke up with me and just blocked me saying that she only loved me out of pity soon after her friends started Hate commenting on social media about me i love her so much but everything just feels like a lie now like I was just used and now I have no meaning just thrown away like garbage and even after all she done I still love her it’s like I can’t control what I’m thinking I try not to think about it And move on but she is special to me …..my brain thinks about everything on it’s own I wish I just had an off switch my heart hurts so much it’s like I’m suffocating I have tried to talk to some friends but the only thing they say to me is not to think so much but I really can’t control it….. i feel like I givin up on life like nothing i do matters and someone’s just gonna use me again and again ….and i feel like not being in this world is gonna make me happy

    • Everyone has felt like this especially over a first love. But if you could see what a future you have ahead of you; there is so much YOU can do. Travel, moving away, new friends, new girls, a fresh start, as you mature you make your own life choices and in the future all this will be forgotten as you’ll be so busy. Give it a chance.

  392. everyday i wonder why am i in this life? i wonder if i am going to be happy if im going to be able to get over all this? i have tried to end my life more than one time, every time that i woke up in the hospital i would cry myself back to sleep hoping begging God to take me with him. I cant keep on pretending I’m okay when deep down inside of me i just want to die end all of this pain… i have been in therapy for 2 years and i haven’t seen no improvement. I have put all of me to recover to get rid of this depression and of this suicidal ideations but i can’t get rid of theem is like if they were stuck in me. I feel theres nobody with me my mom every time i try to talk to her about this she ignores me and tells me to quit my crap… My only thought when she says that is i hope you don’t miss me when i really quit my crap!!! i just dont know wht to do no moreeee im sooo depressed and im tired of preteding everything is okaaay…..

  393. I don’t want to be a part of this world anymore .
    I am alone since 8th grade no one is with me now I’m in 11th grade. I have to work for my survival.
    I have to do everything by myself. No one cares for me. I can’t focus on my studies .

    • I feel you so bad right now. I was kicked out at 19 and no one ever looked back on me . I know your pain. I pray God shines a light on you .

    • Salman, I can relate and have been right where you are. In fact I’m facing something similar now but things can (and will) always get better. Trust me. Lets talk more, email me ok? ‘msteadman1@hotmail.co.uk’. Mike

    • After school your life is your own. Travel, see the world, please yourself – and you will meet new people with new personalities. You make your own choices as you get older! Otherwise you’ll miss out on so much.

  394. I’m really gonna kill my self . My husband died in May . We were married for 10 yrs and all of it was a friggen LIE . He smashed our car up so now I have no car , just before he died . He racked the bills so high I am in Bankruptcy. He lied about the life insurance. He only had 20,000. Told me 200.000 . I payed 10,000 and then some for the funeral and had to pay off his debt to the IRS 0f 5,000. He had 2 girlfriends and me being the fool didn’t know. He knew all the shit that I went through in my life . Tons might I add . And didn’t have the decency to tell me we are flat broke. I feel I have no way out . I’m sad and sick to my stomach, lost 40 pounds since May . I’m working just to pay bills. Can’t go anywhere. How can things get better when you can’t aff to live? Just sit here alone worrying about fucken bills . Even if I work two jobs I will never have enough money to buy a car and the whole nine yards . Starting over at 56 . I just can’t do it. I’ve had to start over so many times I don’t have the strength or reason to keep going. Yeah my kids , Grankids it’s not enough reason. I’m sorry. I have Life insurance so they can finally get there homes . I on the other hand will never be able to. I am a waist for space. People keep saying it will get better. I really don’t see how? I took care of my husband right up until he took his last breath , till death do us part . Right! Yeah sure . I guess I’m writing this so someone knew my story. I will let real people who are Beautiful and worth living on this earth go now. Signed A broke , UGLY, going no where But in the Ground. Good day. I’m not gonna start 2019 alone and broke . AGAIN.

    • Please don’t do it. Please just don’t. I feel for you for all the pain you’ve been going through and I must commend you for being able to face each day. I trally don’t have much to say to convince you otherwise, but please just don’t end your life.

  395. I feel fat and stupid and dumb and unworthy I just want to stop the pain
    I need to kill my self bye

    • Look, I don’t believe that ugly people exist. I look at everything and everyone with Love. I only think a person is ugly when a person is bad inside. So, don’t let this break you and anyone, be Fricking strong, get up and start to love yourself. And stop caring what other people say, their opinions do Not define you, my dear. Stay strong people, We GOT this. ❤

  396. I just want to die 😩 i have nobody literally my own family doesn’t even want to help me im 19 with nothing and no help

    • Hello. I am feeling the same way right now. I was nineteen 40 years ago. I won’t bore you with my reasons but I hope you change your mind. Maybe we could be pen pals or something, heck, I don’t know. You and I, we have something in common, we’re both wrong. Our lives matter.

    • No, pls don’t kill yourself. I know the pain, don’t give up please, you got this ❤

  397. I’m 15 years old. I’ve had major depression my whole and around April of this year (2018) I started to get anxiety because I was raped and my father who I lived with at the time blamed it on me then started beating me up against a tree. Ive been on probation since January 4, 2018 and won’t get done til July 24th, 2019 because I covered for someone I thought was my friend. My mother has kicked me out 2 times but I’m living with her again. I got kicked out of school for arguing with my teachers about me using the bathroom. I stay at home all day with nothing to do so I isolate my self in my room. I just got out of the phsyciatric ward in the hospital December 12 for trying to slit my throat and telling the police I just wanted to kill myself when my aunt called them saying I was trying to hurt myself and my mom when that wasn’t true. I have so many scars on my body. I thought I have no one but my boyfriend wants me to always tell him when I have thoughts like this so he can try and get me help. Everytime I go outside and see someone I know and they know me which is often. I get called a slut, a whore, and I get told I don’t deserve to live. I’ve been almost beaten to death so many times. People hate me for no reason. I don’t sleep around.. I barley talk to people.. and all I do is sit at home anyways. Life is crap and my plan was to kill myself on New Year’s Day at 12:00 am by overdose. A combination of lithium carbonate and ecstasy.

  398. im gonna do it tonight, goodnightXx

    • Pls don’t do it, you are not worthless, you are not bad, there is still people who will love you endlessly, you are Worth it, pls don’t Kill yourself.

  399. I’ll soon be 61 and I am so tired of my life if you new me you would understand. Nobody understands they think they do, but they don’t. Not even my theropist or psychologest. I love my daughter she’ll soon be 31 but she has her own life and dosen’t want to hang around a depressed old woman. She’ll get over my death. As far as my husband he could care less as he’s an acholic. Sure they’ll be sad for a little while then they’ll get over it. It’s over for me!

    • Hello Ma’am! I understand you because I am also facing some problems in my life. I also don’t want to live and each and every day I plan for suicide. But it is not so easy as we think. When I try hanging to die my legs don’t allow me to do it. At that moment a strong feeling comes to my mind: Why would I die for them who really don’t care for me? But still suicidal thought comes and I am still coping with it. Actually I am tired of all these negativities. I want to think positive, I want to live but it needs effort, courage and love for own life. I wish, I would get a ray of life, a light of happiness by talking with you all who feel just like me.

  400. Hello Ma’am! I understand you because I am also facing some problems in my life. I also don’t want to live and each and every day I plan for suicide. But it is not so easy as we think. When I try hanging to die my legs don’t allow me to do it. At that moment a strong feeling comes to my mind: Why would I die for them who really don’t care for me? But still suicidal thought comes and I am still coping with it. Actually I am tired of all these negativities. I want to think positive, I want to live but it needs effort, courage and love for own life. I wish, I would get a ray of life, a light of happiness by talking with you all who feel just like me.

  401. I thought about to kill myself many times, but there is dear God and his light, there is something that stoped me every time, I swear. I don’t know anymore, I wish this didn’t happened to me and anyone Else. I’ll Pray more and more for myself and all of you people here and in the world that are struggling with Depression and anxiety or any Mental disorder/problem.I hope that all people will find someone who will love them endlessly,be happy and never struggle Again. I hope that love and peace that you DESERVE will find you and never leave you. Peace and I love yall. ❤Stay strong. We got this.

    • I feel alone in the world . I have pdst mental health issues! Am I feel like not being here am trying ever.day to stay strong for my boys but I dont.feel.part of notting… Am loss

      • I feel alone too. I am part of a large family but always feel alone. Depression, anxiety. But killing oneself is not the answer. I don’t have the answer but focus on being there for your boys. Take things one step at a time and hopefully you will begin to feel better. Take joy from them.

  402. I feel lonely most of the time even though I have so many friends around me… Sometimes I feel drowning… I am shouting out for help but nobody is hearing me…. Boy wanna date me but they are not see me for who I am… They just wanna take advantage… I am struggling a lot… i feel like I wanna give up and give in… Today i just typed in google “Help I am going to suicide…” I wish someone can hear me. I wish all the people who are around me really care for me. I wish the guys who said they have a crush on me will reach out to me… I wish my parents will… I wish my sister will.. before it’s too late…

    • Light, We are here to listen and we hear you. We are proud of you for reaching out to talk. You are worthy and you matter. It’s important that you talk to your parents and let them know how you’re feeling. Let them know that you are lonely and you feel like no one cares. Encourage them to take you to the doctor to talk about some possible issues with depression. Talking to a therapist about how you’re feeling will help too. They will give you some coping mechanisms to help you through this. Please check out our topic pages on Depression and Loneliness. There are articles, podcasts and stories from others that may help you.
      Depression: https://www.thehopeline.com/topics/depression/
      Loneliness: https://www.thehopeline.com/topics/loneliness/
      We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  403. I have not had a bad childhood but I have not had the best one, My Parents have sworn at me called me depressed, slapped me, taunted me and told me I am worthless and that I never do what they ask when I live by their rules. I CAN’T SEEM TO CONTROL MY FEELINGS. It is 30/01/2019 and I have finally have had enough,and want to commit suicide. This is my end. GOODBYE

    • Erin, You are not alone. We are here to help and listen. You matter and your life is valuable. PLEASE STAY. We care and dealing with your strong emotions is important. You have made the first step by reaching out for help and to talk. It takes a lot of courage to admit that things are not right and that you need help. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with a private number to our partner that will help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  404. (Sorry for the long read) I’ve had a pretty bad childhood, i was abused and harrased up until i was 13 yrs old moved after 6 grade came to an end while being bulied in school all my life. Which made me feel pretty suicidal and depresded until i met my boyfriend at the age of 18 which is the only reason why im still alive. Now im 20 years old but sadly still live with my mother. The way things are going now I feel like i dont belong and i am a mistake to a few of my family members.
    Wich ocasionally makes me depressed and suicidal but not as much because i made a promise to my boyfriend i’d stay alive.
    But im afraid i might slip up and kill my self someday due to how things are going. Im also afraid of telling my mother how i feel because im afraid to speak , i am afraid that she wont listen or i’ll get in trouble or get yelled at for speaking my own mind.

  405. I don’t feel strong anymore I feel so broken that I welcome death but I am not able to kill myself I can’t do it but I feel like I want to die I feel worthless and there is no use in me being here and that no one loves me and I hate myself as well and I have real bad anxiety I just keep questioning my existence

    • Sade, You are valuable and worthy. When we are in so much pain and we hate ourselves it’s hard to understand how valuable and worthy we truly are. You are amazing and you may not realize it, but God does love you and He does accept you. He is close to the broken-hearted. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18” He knows your pain, He knows the anxiety you deal with and he loves you, just the way you are. The Lord can break your chains of self-hate and you can be free to love yourself just the way you are. how about chatting online with one of our HopeCoaches tonight at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
      If you need help right now, call or chat with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat or you can reach the Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741
      You can also find counseling through our partner at https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/focus-on-the-family/
      We also think you would benefit from having an email mentor. It would be a someone that you can email back and for with for as long as like about anything. To sign up for an email mentor go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/
      If you believe in prayer and would like to be part of a community that is praying LIVE for you on Facebook you can find out more here: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/

  406. I keep hearing the words it is an unceasing repetition. In my every waking and sleeping moment. To compound the situation it does not help that people whom I know have met their demise. I keep writing down the words and the list just keeps burgeoning. I am just tired that is all that can truly be said.

    • It sounds like you are fighting a spiritual battle. It’s important that you talk to someone about this. Do you have a pastor or a priest that you could talk to? We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this too. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  407. I have no idea what is happening to me, I’m so unlucky, I’m a empty man with 31 years my girlfriend tired with me my family tired with me I’m tired with me no marriage no children no house no car no job broken arm

  408. I am at wit’s end. I don’t know where to turn. I feel like my only options are to die. Last night there were gunshots at my local grocery store and I couldn’t help but wish that I had received one of those shots so that it could be over. I live because of my children. I can’t imagine them, although I have imagined them, finding their Mama with a noose wrapped around her neck, or a bloody mess of a gunshot to her head. These are the only things that keep me alive.

    • Jackie, You are valuable and worthy! Your life matters. During your darkest moments, there is HOPE. There is hope for you and your children. It’s important that you continue to talk about how you are feeling. We have some resources that may help you. How about signing up for an email mentor. It would be a woman that you can email back and for with for as long as like about anything. To sign up for an email mentor go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/ Also, would you like to be part of a community that is praying LIVE for you on Facebook? You can find out more here: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/ We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  409. I feel like today, I will kill myself …..the reason why I’m in sucidal mood is because no loves me,even I don’t have friend … people hates me😭😭😭😭

    • Kelvin, You are worthy and you matter. Your life is important. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  410. I want to kill myself because nobody cares about me . My boyfriend ( 5 year’s together) is cheating on me … my parents don’t talk to me , brother’s aren’t interested in my problems … they say they don’t have time for that… I’m tired of life … I just want peace , happiness and love .. but I don’t get it .. I lost all of my friend’s , they don’t want to talk with me because of my boyfriend .. because I always forgive him … what I need to do ? Really kill myself or what?

    • Andzelika, Please know that you are worthy and we care. You do not deserve to be treated this way by your boyfriend. Even though you feel like your family does not want to talk to you…it’s important that you tell them how you are really feeling. That your boyfriend’s cheating has been devastating and you need help to get through it. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  411. But i thought to much but Couldn’t find a way, so without suicide can not find any other options…what to do, DON’Tknow…

    • Hey man

    • Erfan, Don’t give up! Please stay. Keep fighting. We care and we are here to listen. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  412. I feel suicidal and I’m going to end my life. Can’t find anything that works . Been bouting depression for a year now. Just started getting worse the past few months. I’ve made my plan and said goodbye to my family. I gotten rid of most of my stuff.

    • Michelle, Please don’t give up on your life. There is so much ahead of you. Continue to fight the depression, continue to fight for yourself and your life that matters! We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  413. I have no one to talk to no where to turn just feel so hopeless I have 3 kids who need me but I think they better off with out me.

    • I have to say I’m having the same thoughts I have no one my husband works all the time my kids are grown in collage but I’m so depressed and lonely I thought of several ways to end my life . My husband cancels plans we have to work just cancelled valentines I went bought a dress and some new things for under and he canceled I’m really feeling it tonight .

      • M, You are loved and important. Please go and talk to your doctor about the depression you are feeling. It’s important that you find an outlet to relieve some of the loneliness your are experiencing. We are sending you an email with some resources to help you. You are not alone. We are here to listen.

    • Zondria, We care and your life matters. It matters to others and your 3 kids. Please stay for yourself and for them. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  414. I need help right away I can not do life anymore.

    • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  415. I feel suicidal at the moment. Everyday I feel so disgusting and worthless that I just want to disappear. I just can’t find any worth in my life. I always find myself proving that my existence is worth. But no, I never find myself of any worth at all. I feel lonely all the time. I always feel left out by my friends. I feel really unsafe in my school. I don’t know if it’s just about the environment in my school but for real, I really feel unsafe at school but when I’m at home I feel safe. I’ve been in the same high school for 6 years and I don’t feel happy anymore. Please tell me if it’s just my school environment that makes me suicidal. I don’t feel suicidal because of school works but because of the people around me because I feel unsafe all the time being around my schoolmates.

    • Carla, You are beautiful and worthy! Please stay and never give up. We are proud of you for reaching out for help. It’s important that you talk to your parents or an adult about the thoughts you are having. You need to tell them you feel unsafe at school to the point that you feel suicidal. It sounds like you are experiencing some depression as well due to your circumstances. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. If you email us at thehopeline.team@thehopeline.com we can give you a private number to call for help. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • Carla,
      No idea how I got here today but I get what you’re saying and feeling. Even though my situation might be completely different, I understand it. I wish I had answers, but I’m probably here with the same questions as you.
      I really hope you find the answers that free you from your shackles and let you be you without fear and/or anxiety, doing what you really enjoy and let you be happy with that no matter what anyone else thinks. Perhaps you’ll share those answers when you do find them.. Just don’t give up.
      All the best,
      Alex

  416. Today I woke up with the feeling that I am ready to go. Don’t see any point to being here anymore. I have an incurable autoimmune disease and am fat..I have fought my weight my entire life and the anti depressants that I am on are just making me fatter. Was fine up until last year when I suffered what I perceived to be a trauma. I am deeply love with my husband and children yet do not want to be a burden to them. I have done things that I am not proud of, My family will be better off without me. My mind is running 24/7 and I just can’t take it anymore. Just need to figure out a way to do this.

    • You are worthy, your life matters, and you matter. Please never give up on this life. It is too important. You have so much ahead of you that you will never know about. PLEASE STAY! It’s important that you call our partners at Centerstone. We are emailing you their private number. They will help you through any thoughts of suicide. It is a free service that is confidential.
      You can also, call or chat with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat or you can reach the Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741
      You can also find counseling through our partner at https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/focus-on-the-family/
      We also think you would benefit from having an email mentor. It would be someone that you can email back and for with for as long as like about anything. To sign up for an email mentor go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/
      And lastly, if you believe in prayer and would like to be part of a community that is praying LIVE for you on Facebook you can find out more here: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/

  417. I’ve reached the point that I can’t take the emotional pain any more. I just want this to end. I’m unemployed, alone and will be homeless if I can’t get a job soon. And no one cares. I have no support system. I can’t find a counselor that I can afford without insurance. I even called the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline yesterday, and the young man who answered made a very flip remark about my situation. That pretty much pushed me over the edge. All I’ve done today is sit on my bed and cry. When I figure out what to do about my pet, I don’t see any reason to stay around.

  418. I feel very worthless at this moment. I just want to end all this pain that I’ve been experiencing for few years. I have always tried to be happy but people around me keeps making that impossible. Sometimes i look at the sky and I wish that I should have never lived in this world so that I could never feel any pain.

    • Ronnie, You are valuable, worthy and loved. It’s hard to understand how valuable and worthy we truly are. God loves you and accepts you just the way you are. He is close to the broken-hearted. He knows your pain and knows that you are hurting. Please stay strong. We are here to help. You can break the chains you are feeling, right now. You can overcome! One of our HopeCoaches would love to chat online with you about what is going on at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • Me 2 same situation keep hope we don’t know how much we bare this anymore

  419. I am 14 I am a boy and I tried to hang myself but everyone tires to stop me I got scars everywhere I put makeup on so my mum and dad I go to a school where people that has thought about killing them self

    • Goodbye everyone
      I will be gone today

      • Please, please, please never give up! You have so much in your future that will bring you happiness that you will never know about if you give up. This challenging place in your life is temporary. Believe me, I’ve been where you are. It will get better. No matter how many or what mistakes you have made you are worthy and valuable. We are here for you and we truly want to listen to what is going on in your life and offer you some ways to deal with it.
        Would you be willing to chat with us at TheHopeLine today? You can chat with one of our HopeCoaches about what is going on at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp any evening of the week and weekend. If you have a smartphone we have a free app you can download to contact us through chat or email at https://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
        Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

      • i don’t know you, but i love you and you’re loved.

      • don’t give up i am in almost the same situation except i’m a 13 year old girl there is always someone you can talk to and i don’t know you but you are an amazing person and you are loved. Just never give up, everything will be alright.

    • I know how you feel I’m 14 in June I have scars but I just wear long sleeves

  420. I am a 13 year old girl, I want to end everything but I have this one friend, he feels like my best friend and he has showed me that there is light at the end of tunnel. He has been here for me and has distracted me from my suicidal thoughts and I’ve been able to tell him everything so I just want to tell everyone that there will be someone to listen to you and help you, they mightn’t know what to say but they will be there to help
    just please never give up

  421. I just want to end it all. I lost my mom. I have no job. My marriage is suffering, my kids are suffering. I just can’t deal with the pain anymore:

    • Please stay! Do not give up on yourself or leave your kids. When we are in so much pain and suffering it’s hard to understand how valuable and worthy we are. You are worthy and your life matters. You are not alone we are here to listen. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • I cut myself I cry myself to sleep nobody likes me my own parents hate me what should I do I have depression lifes to Dull to continue….. Nobody would care of I committed suicide they don’t care about anything else I do I was taken out of school because of my friend choice in 13 years old in going 14 in June my old teachers son my neighbor killed himself over his life being so bad I think I might just join him please help me.

      • Self-harm is very hard to overcome without help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
        • You can text them at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
        • Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
        • You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
        Your life matters! The depression that you are experiencing is escalating the suicidal thoughts you are having. Please call or chat online with The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ Or Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741 Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
        Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many teens and young adults we have sent them to overcome self-harm.
        We are also emailing you a private number to our partner that you can talk to about your suicidal thoughts too. Please know we care and want you to stay.

  422. Going through a bad phase of life got married the person I love against the family but now this chain of domestic violence is not stopping , everything is just falling apart , he doesn’t earn money is a regular drinker beats me up Infront of my kids abuses threatens me , my kids cry Infront of this monster but he don’t stop, his parents couldn’t help me but make conditions worse by threatening me because they don’t like me and I’m not their choice, cannot discuss all of this with my parents again and again because this is my decision everytime I come back to this man hoping he had changed, now I feel killing my self because I cannot take it more , I give up , I’m s self esteemed woman but getting insulted this way makes me prone to suicidal thoughts wish I find peace after killing my self wish my parents and kids don’t be to suffer because of me

    • Nainika, You are valuable and important. Your life matters and giving up is not the answer. It’s important that you get yourself and the kids out of the house into a safe place. We understand that is easier said than done, without help. You can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1.800.799.7233 or CHAT with them at https://www.thehotline.org/what-is-live-chat/
      Also, We have some resources we can give you to help you with your thoughts of suicide. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-reso

  423. Had it all but was in marriage that involved partner who controlled And alienated me from my family and friends. She threatened to leave me at my fathers funeral because I was going to go with my brothers and sisters in the limo to the grave site Stayed until youngest was 18 and the other three in college. Had an affair and two years later still with this woman. Love her very much. My children have alienated me and going through separation proceedings ex wants to use them as witnesses to discuss school expenses even though I have been paying support from the date of separation and have offered to give her the house. She continues to control me with this provocative move and as a result I feel like ending it. I can’t even think or look forward to what my life with my new partner will be like. I

    • Mark, It may not feel like there is a way out of the challenges you are in, but there is! Please do not give up on this life. You matter. Don’t let the choices of others (your ex) make you want to end your life. You mentioned that you are in a relationship with a woman you love very much. Do not rob yourself and her of this love. Stand tall and courageous. Time will help you with your situation and challenges. You can overcome. Be a light and show your children that you will overcome this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  424. I just dont know how to say the things that I feel its so hard everyone is hating me even my parents my mom calls me a b***h and i just cant live anymore nobody cares about me all I know is that im done i just cant i have no reason to live this life im just hurting…

    • It sounds like you are going through a lot, right now. We are proud of you for reaching out for help. It’s important that you continue talking to someone about how you are feeling about yourself and others. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resour

  425. My mom died and my dad has a new wife she always says she loves me but she told me i cannot be myself and i have to act like she wants me to. i feel like my dad doesn’t care at all and my friends say i don’t have any problems. i just feel like there is nothing to look forward to and nobody who would care if i just kill myself one night…

  426. I hate my looks and myself in general and my brother, closest dogs, and my two grandpas died a little while ago and my parents don’t have time for me and I’m treated unfairly compared to my sister and I compare myself to other people and I just overall hate myself and I think that if I died no one would really care and I’m sick of being called horrible names by jerks all the time it’s better if I was dead…

  427. When I feel the way I feel right now, NOTHING helps, and all this crap about mattering, being important, being cared about and there being hope is complete BULLS**T. It’s ridiculous and unhelpful and makes me hate myself even more. I am a stupid, dumb, c**t wh**re b***h, unlovable, unlikable, worthless, useless, hopeless, aging and getting fat and ugly. My checking account is $350 overdrawn, and I have zero savings, zero retirement, zero life insurance, $50,000 in student loan debt I will NEVER be able to repay, no job, can’t pay rent, and will be homeless within a week. I am about to lose every possession I have except my dog (my cat went missing a week ago). A friend agreed to take my dog so that he isn’t homeless, but isn’t willing to let me stay with her even though she has a big, beautiful house with an extra bedroom and two large, separate living areas with multiple full-size couches, any one of which I’d be willing to sleep on. I’d set up a tent in the backyard if she’d let me. I am too depressed to shower, brush my teeth, walk my dog, or clean my house and too anxious to apply for jobs. I have had multiple concussions and have lost a lot of cognitive functioning, so I will never be able to have a professional career position again. My depression and anxiety are debilitating even though I am on medications. Counseling doesn’t help. I have done three intensive outpatient programs, and they were all COMPLETE WASTE of time and money. I self-harm brutally (cut through two layers of muscle in my arm in a rage of self-hatred and pain; heated up a metal skewer in the oven and repeated burned myself in the same spot on my thigh, then rubbed dog sh*t into the third degree burn because that’s what I DESERVE). I hit myself repeatedly in the head with hardcover books and shoes so hard I see stars. I hit myself on the arms and legs with a hammer or other hard objects. I cut severely and deeply. And you idiots want to tell me I am cared about, that I matter, and that there is hope? WHAT hope? My best option is to kill myself in a remote area of my beloved Rocky Mountains and let the animals take care of my corpse because who is going to pay to bury me when I have no life insurance or other assets? If I stay alive, I will die homeless and probably in a really ugly way. Even if I somehow manage to rally and get a job and not be homeless, when I can’t live alone anymore, I will go into a nasty, horrible low-income nursing home and die alone. I have no children and will never have children, which also means no grandchildren. I wanted marriage and children.
    You smiling happy delusional people are going to send me the same response you send to everyone else, and it is going to make me sick and angry and hateful because you are in denial and are trying to fight logical. I FEEL bad emotionally and mentally. I am in pain. I also see things very rationally and view my options logically. I feel like I can’t go on, and I see what any intelligent and reasonable person can see, which is that there is no reason for me to stay alive.

    • Dear Jill, We are sorry for our delay in replying to you. Everyone deserves help and everyone deserves to be told that they matter and that they are worthy no matter how they feel about their selves. You matter and you are valuable! You are dealing with a lot. The debt and mental health challenges you mentioned are leading you to feel hopeless. You are not out of options. There is hope. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources. You can chat online with one of our HopeCoaches too at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  428. I’m a fifteen-year-old and I was my grandfather’s primary caregiver for at least 7 years. We had to take him to the hospital one day and after this, he was never the same he recently died. I feel like I have nothing to live for, I feel like I was already slightly depressed but recently I feel as if my depression and anxiety has quickly plummeted. My medication barely works. I tried to jump in front of a car and was 10 inches from death I have also severely cut my self on multiple occasions, and I also recently had to go to a mental hospital to keep me from killing myself. I have nothing in this world anymore and I’ve tried to find articles or survivor stories that could maybe help me but they all say the same crap about how I am wanted, I am loved, or some other dumb sh*t like this. I understand that all of those people are trying their best yet it won’t work I’m most likely going to end it all sometime next month, but I still try my hardest to find a reason to live. I most likely will never accomplish anything but that’s okay I’ll probably die in some gruesome way anyway so why not just end it all right now. Well I hope someone looks at this and sees how a child’s life could be ruined by abuse, grief, and neglect maybe it’ll change someone’s life but I highly doubt that. Well I guess this is goodbye for me, hmmm I thought it would be hard to think I could actually go through with it but I’ve been hurt so much I don’t think I feel pain.

    • Matthew, You are going through extreme grief, right now and we understand that it feels like you will always feel this way. Especially going through the abuse and neglect you mentioned too. You mentioned your meds barely work…it’s important that you tell your doctor or an adult about this. While you are going through this extreme time of grief perhaps your doctor can adjust them. We know you don’t want to hear all the things that people say, however, we do care and we want you to get through this tragic time in your life. Would you chat online with one of our HopeCoaches today? https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Also, here is an article that is on one of our partner sites, it may help you: https://issuesiface.com/magazine/suicide-giving-life-another-chance We have another partner that you can help you through your thoughts of suicide. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • Im hurting badly inside but Who promised death would end suffering? I dreamt a man was suffering internally and jumped off a bridge. I looked over and saw his soul screaming in agony what did I do while his body bleed out. He found no resolve only worse pain. Being alive hurts sometimes but it comes with a chance to change. You may have to fight for it but the universe will respect your choice and ur life will get better. Keep trying to quit and youll keep finding reasons why you should. GOD bless

    • Girl live

  429. im 13 years old have a lot going on in my life I have a lot to get out of me but I think of killing myself because of what is going on in my life I would love for some help thank you.

    • Angel, First of all, you can get through this! You are not alone. We are here to help you It sounds like you are carrying a huge burden. Talking about what is going on in your life that is making you feel this way is important. A HopeCoach would love to listen and help you through this. You can chat with a HopeCoach at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Also, we have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We are emailing you some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  430. My future is untenable, and I am so tired of trying meds, therapy, etc. I am not interested in recovering. I won’t go into the details of why I feel this way, as they are irrelevant. Going into details means someone else can pass judgement on whether my intense, relentless, suicidal outlook is justified or not. Compared to who? I am me, I’m not somebody else. I’ve been living in this mental hell for a couple of years now, and I understand the root cause of my problem. I’m not interested in pep talks, advice on mindfulness, yoga, a miracle treatment that’s just around the corner… I’m a mature, competent individual, and I would appreciate some compassion (e.g. peaceful end of life – on my terms and schedule) and support, to alleviate my suffering. I’ve tried dozens of times to take action, but I can’t find an acceptable means, as the means that are easily accessible to me are painful, brutal, and would traumatize others. And the possibility of feeling better at some future date, so what? Living like this is not worth any amount of future enjoyment. Trust me on this. This is nonsense, if I take an early exit, I have no ability to regret taking an early exit. I’m OK with that. Sorry I can’t be more hopeful. Does anyone else feel this way? For those who do, make sure you’ve tried to feel better before you resign yourself to this fate. For others, try to understand or at least empathize with, those of us who feel this way.

  431. I feel done. Just worn out. No one.

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