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What Happens To Your Body When You Cut Yourself?

It seems that self-harm or cutting have become as popular as drugs or alcohol as a method to cover the pain.  It also seems to be destroying lives in the same way as other addictions do. Hopefully, that life is not yours. But if it is, help can be on the way. You don’t have to stay stuck in the vicious cycle of self-mutilation.

How Does Cutting Impact You?

How Pain Covers Pain. What Is Cutting?

Cutting is a form of self-harm often used to handle overwhelming or negative feelings. It is a way for people to “feel” something physical when they feel numb or pained on the inside. It also gives the cutter a false sense of control since they can choose when, where, and how to cut. Cutting can lead to permanent scarring, extended bouts of depression, diminished self-esteem, and possible infection.

Does Cutting Yourself Make You Feel Better?

If you’re a cutter, you might think it’s helping you feel better about the deep emotional pain you feel. But the truth is: cutting is a counterfeit helper. It promises relief from the hurt you’re feeling, but it only ends up making the heartache even worse.

If your thumb hurts, it doesn’t make sense to cut off your foot. In the same way, making yourself bleed is no way to take care of your very real emotional and spiritual needs. Cutting yourself merely covers the deeper emotional pain you’re feeling. But like every other addiction, it’s far too much medicine for the sickness, and will come back to haunt you.

Nonetheless, you or someone you know likely cuts for the benefits you get from it. In fact, as someone once said, for every thrill there is a chill. So, let’s not deny, with cutting there is some kind of a thrill. If cutting yourself for fun is a temptation, it’s helpful to understand the toll it takes on your body and mind.

Why Do People Emotionally Cut?

The answer to this question is different for everyone, but often people turn to cutting as a way to manage deep emotional pain. In those moments of overwhelming hurt, it can feel like the only way to get relief or regain a sense of control. 

But while cutting might seem like a solution to your pain in the moment, it’s important to remember that there are healthier ways to cope with our struggles.

In the eyes of Jesus, every single one of us is precious and deserving of love and care, especially when we’re in pain. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and it’s okay to seek help, even if it feels like there’s no hope or no solution. You are not alone, and there are people who care deeply about your well-being. You can try reaching out to a trusted friend, a compassionate teacher, or even asking Jesus for help in prayer.

When pain gets so bad that hurting ourselves feels like the only way to cut through it, remember the words of Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Trust in God’s love and mercy, and know there is light even in the darkest times.

Cutting Triggers Your Body’s Chemistry

The body naturally produces a chemical compound called endorphins. Endorphins are released to help the body deal with pain and stress. In fact, endorphins cause an actual high designed to cover real physical pain. And cutting causes real physical pain.

You might have heard of runners high. This is simply the release of endorphins into the bloodstream when someone puts their body through something extremely physically challenging. This high, or euphoria, is extremely addictive.

Much of the same thing happens when you cut. Your brain is flooded with endorphins, which give you a rush, and a sense of calmness and relief that makes you feel like everything is ok. Some cutters claim the high can last up to 90 minutes, but what happens when the high wears off?

Sarah S. understands this chemical dependency, after being addicted to cutting for six years. “Your body has its own pain management using hormones called endorphins. Endorphins manage physical pain, as well as emotional. When someone cuts, endorphins are released and help [cover up] the emotional and physical pain. It will make you feel better for a few minutes and then you will crash again. Eventually, your body will build a tolerance to it and you will have to cut deeper and/or more frequently and more cuts at one time to get the same effect as before.”

So, in the end, cutting is rather simple to explain.

It is using self-inflicted pain to get a high, in order to self-medicate an emotional pain with a temporary feel-good. The problem is the feel-good quickly can turn to a feel bad, or worse, to an addiction.

Megan says she got addicted to the physical high of cutting as an early teen. “I started cutting in junior high because a girl who was cooler than me was doing it. I kept on doing it because it helped with my pain that I was having from school or my family, or later from my eating disorder. I’m 20 years old and I realize now that I cut for a bit of a high, but I don’t have that urge to feel that high anymore.”

Megan doesn’t feel the urge to get the cutter’s high anymore. How did she stop? One thing I know for sure, she came face to face with the consequences of cutting.

A Struggle on Many Levels

Perhaps, after reading this, you’ve come to the realization for the first time that you need to deal with an emotional pain you have been hiding as well as find the strength to resist the temptation to cover that pain with cutting. This might be a lot to take in.  If your first reaction is a desire to put off dealing with the emotional pain, you are not alone. It’s understandable that you don’t want to go there. In fact, it’s precisely why you’ve been covering it over with self-harm.  But if you have come to this realization today, I encourage you to not prolong the hurt. Get it out into the open. You are strong enough to deal with it and move forward.

You can face this trial with HOPE.  You are not alone. Many people do conquer their addiction to cutting.  You can chat with a HopeCoach when they are available. You can reach out to our partner organization, Door of Hope. And you can turn to God for help. I know it’s hard to understand why bad things have happened, but God is good and wants to rescue you. You just need to turn to him.

“Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” Psalm 94:17-19

If you lay this struggle before God and trust him to help you, He will give you the strength you need.

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Here are more Verses of Hope for Struggling with Self-Harm.

For more help to stop cutting yourself, read my blog on how to resist the urge to cut yourself.

  1. I overcame cutting, completely. I used to cut when I felt there was no way out of my situation, my pain, and when the walls felt like they were closing in, and no one cared. I thought no one cared, but at the same time no one cared because I didn’t tell anyone! I remember one time starting to cut the word HELP into my arm. I also remember the very sick feeling of complete relief when the blood poured out. It was so calming and peaceful. I developed PTSD after an injury was inflicted by someone else and left me very disabled for a long time. This contributed to my cutting. It took an unintentional overdose and a trip to the ER to “scare me straight”. When someone finally knew about the problem I was having, I got help. I also had a doctor that was very persistent about my recovery and the consequences I would face if I continued with this behavior throughout the rest of my life. In the end, it took knowing that when I had children, they would be taken away from me if I continued. That was enough. It suddenly wasn’t worth it. I changed my life and have never looked back. I just KNOW it isn’t a part of my life anymore, I am not that person. I left that person behind and don’t ever want to be her again. She was sick and I am now healthy. I have the ugly scars as reminders of what I did to myself and what I will never do again.

  2. Nobody taught me how to hurt myself. It started when I was as a child with ripping my hair out, biting my arm, or punching the wall when I was emotionally high. I remember hearing about cutting and one day pulled out a razor instead. I was hooked. To clarify, I am a college grad on the road to medical school with a steady job and no childhood trauma. Although I have come quite far in my recovery, the urge bowls me over sometimes. I don’t think it will ever go away. What does it do for me? Calm. Instant peace. Stops the thoughts in my head and the anger or frustration I’m feeling. It’s euphoria. Learning to live without it is horrible.

    • Sounds like you need professional help, lot of underlying issues here

  3. It’s not so much the high that I crave than the actual feel of physical pain after cutting. I don’t get any kick out of a cut that doesn’t hurt a day afterward and no one else seems to have this problem it seems… Is there any way to get over the physical pain addiction of it?

    • I also get a kick from the pain…you’re not alone

    • You’re not alone.

  4. When I cut… It helps to relieve the pain… But I think I might be a little different… I developed a bad habit of slapping the cuts and running my nails through them to cause a rush of endorphins to cover the pain… I would do it for days… Combining this feeling with alcohol to enhance it.. I then soon realized that every time my clothes ran over the cuts… It felt like an overload of pleasure… Does this make me sick? Is this normal? Because I don’t think it is.

    • I think its normal I do it too

      • it happens to me too

  5. I cut, but not for the high, it started when I was about eight with staples, every time I felt sad I wouldn’t tell anyone,instead I would grab a staple and stab it at my skin.Now I have blades, I still don’t people about feeling sad or depressed over something i’ll just use the blades and act happy, no harm right? I didn’t go through emotional trauma…I don’t think, and yet I still cut, am I just a freak as much as I think I am?

    • No I cut for the same thing just feeling sad or not wanted so I cut burned pinched anything that hurt becuz I kept telling myself that I deserved the pain that I was a mistake a mess up but I got my boyfriend Shaun he’s been threw alotttt more then me and hecut to so we surta helped each other cuz most our problems where same but yeah

  6. I started cutting at 15. I was severely depressed and constantly contemplated suicide. My depression was an on going struggle. As was the cutting. However, over time…my body became addicted to the endorphins being released when I would cut. So I would make myself sad to justify why I was cutting. I would force myself to think something was wrong so I could make myself believe that I had a reason to cut when in reality…my body was just craving. After 10 years of cutting…I finally stopped one day. I was in the middle of cutting with my headphones on and a song called “Superheroes” by The Script came on. That song gave me strength and courage to stop. Daily, I still think about cutting. My body still craves it at times. However, I’ve found the strength within myself to stop.

  7. I don’t know how to stop. The older I get, the more I think I have it under control… And then something happens, and I fall off the wagon… For a while I used getting tattoos as a way to relieve it and then soon I was covered with them. I have two full sleeves, a half back pieces, and thighs and legs… Now I am back to cutting… I don’t know how to stop or where to get help… Real help…

  9. Hey i’m a bit lost here. A friend of mine cut her self then in one point when she told me that, i try to stop her, force her i guess. Then she tries to explain me that she inside is much worse and i think i’ve reached a point where i let her do that again. Am i wrong? Or should i push her harder? What do you suggest me to do as her friend? Thank you.

  10. I used to go between my toes, or on my finger tips.
    Over time, I started to realize that if I wanted to be a model, I would need to stop hurting myself. I cut more then I ate; over 4 times a day. Adding on all the drugs, alcohol, and bulemia, it wasn’t a very good few years of my life. After someone died, I realized how petty it is to worry about things you have no control over, and I felt as if I was a new person. I took hold of my life and forced my hands to grasp the wheel. I started going out more, I cut people out of my life, and I started to look at the beauty in everything around me. After my lover died, when I finally went home, I stepped into my backyard for a smoke and saw a tree that had toppled in the winter… And I noticed that it had begun to sprout. Even in death, there is some type of life. Now everyday, I’m seeing this tree, and I take it as a symbol of the love from the ones in my life who have passed. As cheesy as that sounds, that tree gave me faith that things CAN and WILL get better. It just takes time.
    Sending my love to all of you. Be strong, and know that you mean something.

  11. The first time, not that I realised what I was doing at the time, I hurt myself was when I was 10yrs old. I repeatedly hit my arm against my bed frame. Growing up, I never felt I was able to speak about any of my issues out loud so it progressed to scratching then burning then using sissors, knives and now razor blades. Each time I cut, I think it’ll be the last time I am this pathetic and need to do this. It never is. I told a friend who is amazing about it but I know she worries so I pretend to be ok for her. I even told a doctor a year or so ago but I got put on antidepressants. They helped… For a while. I don’t want to go back as I don’t feel like the doctors really understand the extent of my pain, it makes me feel stupid and embarrassed to be there. I think people see it as an attention seeking thing. That’s what makes me avoid doctors and keep cutting and covering it up, I don’t want to feel or act this way!!

  12. I was 7 years old when I cut myself for the first time with an old, rusty box cutter. I’m lucky I didn’t get sick from it. A few weeks later I was upset and did it again. Over the years my addiction grew. The first few times I cut my calf, but then I moved to my upper thigh. A few years I even cut my wrist, but went back to my thigh when I was having trouble covering it up. After the box cutter, I went with razors. My sister had disposable razors that I tore apart, and eventually I tore apart the ones my mother bought me.
    It got to the point where I was cutting every day, often ten or more cuts. I was 16 when my addiction scared me for the first time. I looked at my upper thigh and it look like it had been through a meat grinder. I don’t know why it suddenly scared me, but it did. I went through the motions and got a counselor who I didn’t like, and got a new counselor. Debbie is great, but I’ve never told her about my cutting issue. Working with Debbie, I was diagnosed with Severe Major Depression and Severe General Anxiety Disorder. I take heavy meds to counteract them.
    It was about 6 weeks after I started seeing my counselor that I was able to refrain from cutting for a few days at a time. Over the first year of working with her my cutting slowed to a stop, but never once have I thought I was cured.
    Today I’m 21 years old and have been working with Debbie for 5 years. I still see her every week, and I still feel the urge to cut myself. Many people either believe that cutting is a form of attention getting, or believe that the urge can be cured. I see it as an addiction like any other. I will always be an addict. The issue becomes whether or not I’m ‘clean’ or ‘sober’.
    I won’t lie by saying that I’ve been perfect. I have experienced multiple relapses over the years, including one today.

  13. Yes, I think that’s normal, as I do the same ish thing, but I squeeze my cuts, that seems to work for me. I haven’t done this for long AT ALL, this is only my 5th day of cutting, but my friend who cut (I had no idea!!!) did it for a long time, but her cuts never got half as deep as mine 🙁 Luckily I’ve told my friends about me cutting and it’s kind of helping me to stop, but I feel really sick and dizzy if I DON’T cut- I’ve looked this up, but apparently this hasn’t happened to any one else. Also, I go over my cuts again and again to make them deeper, but because my penknife is covered in blood, could that give me a disease or something? I’ve looked that up too, but no one else has written that too. Anyway, to answer your question- yes I think you’re normal!

  14. I’ve struggled with depression, at times profound, for most of my life. I cut, scratched, stuck myself with pins, banged my head… anything that caused pain… for years. I stopped for awhile, but then things got bad again so I started cutting again. I cut for the disconnect from my feelings, I cut for the high and I cut to punish myself… for just existing, because I hated myself so much. I started going to a Christian psychiatrist, and after talking to him about the cutting, this is what he told me: “When you cut to punish yourself, you are saying that Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross was not enough.” I stopped cutting that day. It has been 15 months since then, and every time I get the urge to cut, I think of what he said. I started going to Celebrate Recovery, a Christ centered 12 step program, and earned my 1 year coin in October. I carry it with me as a reminder of what I’ve accomplished and how I don’t want to start over.

    • Keep going! Jesus is the only answer.

  15. So proud of you! Thanks for sharing your story of hope!

  16. I just wanted to put in my two cents… i know how hard teenage life can be… ive been to war, dealt with a nasty divorce , suffered through a intense heroine addiction. Through all of my adult life i can honestly say i was more depressed as a teenager then ive ever been as an adult. I never judge someone for how they get through those times. But try to keep an open mind and remember it will get better.

  17. Does anyone have an advice for learning how to forgive yourself for self-harming in the first place? I can’t stand to look at my scars every time I get dressed because deep guilt and regret that washes down on me. I..I can’t explain the hatred for who I was and how it honestly makes me hate my current self for feeling this way. Does anyone have any advice for getting over this?

    I know that God forgives me for what I have done, but through everything I have tried I just can’t learn to forgive myself….

  18. You are amazing! You are an overcomer. Sometimes it helps to just talk about with someone else. HopeCoaches are here for you 24/7 to help you defeat the negative thoughts and replace them with truth. We are here for you. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

    • Thank you for responding, but I have talked with HopeCoaches plenty of times and I am starting to feel like I am unable of being helped. I have started to feel like I’m bothering all the coaches by talking to them even if they willing volunteered their time.

  19. Makayla, please don’t give up! You are not bothering us. We care about you. Have you connected with an email mentor yet? It is great to have someone who is there just for you and with whom you can have an ongoing conversation. I hope you will check it out and give it a try.

    • Once again I must thank you for responding to me and for giving me some hope in your reply. But you see, I had an email mentor, but after a few days to one week after we got partnered together our the conversation and connection we had kind of stopped and got shut down. I would start up a new conversation, but she didn’t respond to me when I sent her an email last time so I am not sure about bugging her again.

  20. people in the locker room saw my scars and wont stop talking about it which only makes it worse

    • I am so sorry you are going through this right now. It helps to talk to somebody, we are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We also have a FREE eBook about self-harm that has real stories (audio and videos) in it that can encourage you. You are not alone. Your close friends might want to read the eBook, too.
      https://info.thehopeline.com/selfharm

    • I have the same problems…

      • People look at my scars and they talk about them an it pisses me off it just makes me wanna cut worse so if i’d die i would be so happy

  21. Don’t give up, you are not bugging her. Maybe she had something come up in her own life that kept her from being able to respond. Please try again. If she hasn’t responded in a week, then please let me know! We will find you another mentor. We truly care about you and we are here for you. 🙂

  22. I cut because I feel it is the only nessasary thing to do I feel like I deserve it….

  23. i cut because its only way i know im still alive… i just watch the blood flow down my arm knowing im alive even tho id so much rather be dead…

  24. I was just about to cut for the first time, but I stopped myself and found this article.

  25. Wow, that’s great! I am really proud of you. Anytime you are struggling you can chat with a HopeCoach. We are here to support you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  26. I told a good friend of mine and he promised to send me to people who are able to help me if he finds any new cuts. I dont know if this pressure is the best way to choose but I’m 30 days clean so it’s working..

  27. Is it appropriate for old scars to be visible? I want to wear dresses because it’s summertime and I want to look cute and show off my legs, but my self harm scars are very dark and there are so many of them. Seeing them doesn’t bother me, but it’s very obvious that they are from cutting, and I don’t want to be judged or make others uncomfortable.

  28. I am 14 and I cut myself the first time I did it there was a sense of regret but now its been a few times and now I feel the urge daily and I don’t regret I don’t know how to stop this urge I am getting worse day by day am I inhuman? Bcoz I hurt myself I feel worthless I am a average student but I used to be a great student I feel like I am a liability on my parents family and friends I am not fat but my besties are skinny and that sometimes makes me hate myself even more I don’t have a dark complexion but it’s not fair either my parents want me to fulfill there career dreams but I am passionate about something else I want to fulfill my own goals and dreams but I don’t want to make my parents unhappy either idk why am I telling u all this ikw no one cares but I can’t keep it in anymore uh…I hate myself so much I am a mess!

    • You are not a mess Aisha. I might not know you personally but I am certain you are not a mess.

    • you gonna be okey, honey just have to be secure of yourself and accepting yourself as you are. nobody is perfect and we cannot pretend that life is a fairy tale just relax, go behind your dreams, cutting yourself won’t solve anything, if you felt uncomfortable about your body just go to the gym, change your look do something that would make you happy

    • LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. BUT THIS IS NOT RIGHT.STOP. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE NOT FAT OR A MESS. IM TELLING YOU. YOU ARE NOT. don’t listen to those idiots haters. they just say those things bc they are so jealous of how beautiful you are. I’m saying this TRULY from my heart. Yes, I’m a Christian. And here’s is something you should try.PRAY. just do it. I promise you you will seea difference.

  29. I will always curt myself and I hope it kills me I hate life.

    • Me too

  30. It sounds like you are in a really rough place right now. If you want to talk to someone about how you are feeling, we are here for you 24/7. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  31. I am so bad today and I’m going to cut my self and jump off the building tonight at about 8:00-9:00 so good bye everyone sorry

    • You still alive?

  32. I was just wondering if it would be appropriate to talk to a trusted teacher about cutting because I have this one orchestra teacher that I rally like and trust and he likes me too and has told me numorus times that I’m his favorite student but I still don’t know if I can talk to him about it.

    • If there is someone who you feel comfortable enough with to talk about something like that, then don’t hesitate. But make sure the person is okay with it before you go in depth about your problems. A psychiatrist, medical help or even someone online could also really help. Talking is key 🙂

  33. HopeCoaches on TheHopeLine® are available 24/7 to chat with you about it. It is safe, private, and free. We have resources for you, too. Simply click the “chat now” button or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp

  34. I cut because I want to feel pain and see blood because its the only thing that makes me feel normal. People In the locker room see my scars and talk about how I am a suicidal. It makes matters worse because of the reasons that I cut. I am bullied and something very awful happened to me that should never happen to anyone. I can’t stand living with that secret and with my past so I take it out on my body. Should I tell someone or just keep it a secret??

  35. Yes, you should definitely talk to someone. Keeping it a secret is only hurting you more. Chatting with a HopeCoach is safe, free, and totally confidential. We are avilable for you anytime 24/7. Let’s talk – https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/

  36. ive been doing self harm since i started high school
    like at first it was needles then razors
    id stick my self with injection needles and watch my blood flow through the other end.
    then the cutting started a year ago.

  37. When I cut I usually do my wrists and I can hid them easily with a long sweatshirt but I never though how it might affect the people I love.

  38. I know people say “don’t cut, it’s not worth it” but when I cut I feel better and all my anger is gone. I never thought about what this does to my family and how they feel about me cutting. I only cut my wrist and I have never tried any other place on my body. The anger is only gone for a while until I cut again. I have never met people willing to share there stories about cutting themselves. I am only 14 and I am glad that I can talk to someone about this.

  39. when people talk about my scars (im 14 by the way) i am a little pissed off but when you have people that care alot about you and you care the same for them you have to stop because it will make things worse.

  40. Tbh I’m really depressed, my parents don’t really care about. So why should I stay, nothing is gonna change. Maybe if I cut I can lose all my thoughts.

  41. So um I’ve tan out of room on my four arm and I’ve wanted to know if cutting over old scars would have much effect? Can someone help me out with this?

    • Sydnee, It’s important that you talk to someone about the cutting. Please talk to one of our HopeCoaches as soon as possible. We have a resource that can help you overcome the desire to self-harm. You are important and you matter.

  42. I’m very new to cutting- a novice really. But I was amazed the first time that I felt nothing- absolutely nothing. No pain, just … I don’t know how to explain it… a natural high. Now I’m doing it several times a day. If I’m honest, it scares me because I think I need too much. I am beginning to wonder if I’m in control anymore.

    • i agree

  43. A few years ago, I was a frequent self-harmer. I had no plans to stop and honestly couldn’t understand what was so wrong with it. I don’t think I even ever felt a ‘high’ of any sort. The point is I say this as someone who’s been through it. If your thinking about cutting, don’t start. It’s an addiction, after been clean for a while I still have urges and I can’t look at blood the same way. That initial curiosity in all the sadness started it, but it became so bad and I couldn’t stop. I think the inconvenience if anything was what helped me stop. Not anyone telling me, because I think we all know someone telling you to do something doesn’t make you wanna do it. I had to always wear pants no matter how hot it was, and occasionally it was sleeves too. Even when I was more discreet, I felt exposed in the locker room. Trying to sleep at night with my legs all cut up was miserable, I could never be comfortable. Once you start, it will only get worse. Soon every little thing will lead to a cutting session. The more you cut, the less you care about caring for your wounds or people seeing. Looking back I was unbelievable cruel to my mother. I would show her my wounds and let her clean them up, and she knew nothing she knew would stop me. She would cry almost every time. I have the occasional relapse but I’ve been mostly clean. I’m on this page even because I was trying to remind myself why I shouldn’t. I suppose I was lucky in a weird way, because even though I cut all over my body over and over and over again, I have almost no visible scars. Scar tissue happens to be just slightly lighter than my pale skin so most of it you can’t see unless under certain lighting. When I was at the beach, my faint scars practically glowed and for the first time I really saw the affects of what I had done to myself. After stopping cutting, I had alternated between some other self harm methods that were less scarring or physically visible…but now that I’ve stopped only now can I see how reliant I became on self harm. Every little thing started a cutting session. I’m only 18 now, but I don’t think the urges will ever go away or at least for a long time. I just really felt the need to share this and say: don’t start cutting if you can and if you already are stop before it gets worse and you can’t stop. I didn’t wanna say the typical warnings about cutting…because that stuff never got to me. Good luck you guys, I wish you all the best.

  44. I’m twelve and I just find life so hard when I was eight I lost my dad and know some of you have probably been through a lot worse and I’m just so scared that my mum will find my scars or somehow find out that I cut myself because she won’t understand

    • I am so sorry you lost your dad when you were only eight. That is a really hard thing to go through. You should talk to your mum. I think she will understand and she will want to help you. We have a free eBook you can download about cutting and you and your mum could read it together. It might help her understand and make it easier to talk about. Here is the link to the eBook – http://info.thehopeline.com/selfharm

  45. I need help. Im not sure if this is exactly normal but sometimes for some reason ill put the knife im cutting with up to my throat and just slide it along my neck sometimes cutting myself but for some reason seeing the knife on my neck and pushing it against my throat makes me feel good. I could literally slit my throat. its not fair to me. people look at cutting and look down upon it but when your in my situation for example you will understand why i do it and cutting is the only thing that keeps me from going all the way. Punching into a wall or running away. It relieves the pain.

  46. Does anemia helps?

  47. i’m 15. i’ve probably been cutting for 4 years. at first, it was to feel something; to get the high… now, i’m not so sure. i thought i was recovering, i truly did. but once you’re addicted, it’s hard to truly come out of that rabbit hole, and i am not at all a strong person. at one point, my mother knew that i cut, though i was only 11 or 12. she assumed that i did it to seem “edgy”, or for attention. my mum has offered for me to see a therapist several times, since her relationship with my father is very on and off, which sometimes takes a toll on my mental health. i always decline. my school wanted me to get professional help for high anxiety, and i refused. i don’t want a stigma. i don’t want to be labelled. i don’t want that to be in people’s perception on me. but maybe, slightly, i don’t want to stop, either.

  48. Idk….. I just want to feel the feeling my friend takes everyday……I mean I tell her to stop but she say’s it is kind of a pain reliefer……I mean I have really bad headaches and kids at school call me gay mostly everyday I just let everybody push me around…..and I just feel sad because I don’t know who to talk to about anything……I’m just not sure if I want to start cutting😢

    • Manny,
      You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts of self-harm.
      • You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
      • Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
      • You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
      If you ever feel so overwhelmed you can’t go on, please call:
      • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255
      • Or Chat with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
      • Or Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741
      • Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
      Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many young adults we have sent them overcome self-harm.

  49. Been reading some off the posts and it brings tears to my eyes. I am in my 50s and my girlfriend is in her 40s. I am not a cutter but did self harm with cigarette burns. My girlfriend has been a cutter since she was 8 years old. We met 3 years ago at work and became friends but she never mentioned her urges to cut to me. In Nov 2017 my girlfriend went through a bad spell and was cutting daily this is when i found out about her urges to cut..Forearm, top of leg under her breasts. I took it upon myself to help her and we spent many an evening talking about our lives and during this time (Feb 18) we admitted the feelings we had for each other we were both married at the time. In Dec 2017 she went for a walk and text me “i’m sorry…goodbye” It took me what feels an eternity to get through to her but she did answer her phone..She had took a razor blade to her wrists..I talked to her and eventually earned her trust and i talked on the phone for 50mins as she struggled home to get help and during this time i could here her stopping to cut some more and just sitting down to die.But thankfully she listened to me encouraging her to get up and walk talking her through one leg in front off the other explaining how to overcome obstacles in her way. Over the next 2 months I learned about her triggers and could tell by her body language when she was most likely to cut and I attended her hourly sessions with her Psychiatrist.We got ourselves a flat and moved in together beginning of March this year and I made up a first aid bag just for her which contains sterilised blades,sterile wipes,bandages and a letter from me telling her I understand she needs to cut and that want change my feelings for her. I would never ever stop her from cutting but because what we have been through in our lives and we are their for each other ( I’m classed as suicidal risk) she has spent many an hour in the bathroom (only place in flat she’s aloud to cut) with blade in hand but never cuts because she now knows that at least one guy in her life understands.OK she has still cut but in the last 8 weeks only twice and I am very proud off her as I have seen her battling the urge to cut and believe me its hard her whole body is shaking but she manages to overcome..I will say the last 9 months have been hard lots of tears and cleaning of wounds but their is a light at the end off the tunnel and things are looking up…….OK i’m not saying it will work for everyone but in my now girlfriends case it was finding someone who really understood her and not judging her for what she was going through and was their for her no matter what….She says the urge to cut is still their but she has managed to control it rather than letting the urge control her and talking about her feelings daily she finds helps because what she wants to cut for after talking sometimes feels not so bad……all the best to you all and hopefully one day you may overcome your urges….

    • Wow that is what i call dedication and true love.

  50. I cut myself but I don’t get high, I get physically sick. Why? And look I’m not another suicidal try hard OK? I’m doing this to clear my head and to keep myself under control.

    • Lily, Cutting is a dangerous addition that can take over your life. You may be just clearing your head now, but it may accelerate to more. We have a partner that will help you with this at http://www.doorofhope4teens.org. They will help any age to overcome self-harm. They will help you understand why you feel physically sick. Check out their website or email them at doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs) You can also text them at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST

  51. i started cutting when i was 10 im 14…i still do it…its just i get so nervous all the time. bulling to harassment.

    • Nina, Thank you for reaching out. We are here to listen and help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
      • You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
      • Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
      • You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
      It’s important that you tell an adult about the bullying that is going on. You are valuable and worthy and do not deserve this. Please chat online with one of our HopeCoaches. They are available every evening until midnight at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/.

  52. I’ve been a cutter for years now I have deep cuts and small cuts I cut because I felt that it helped with the pain and my only friend was the blade I held I stop cutting but last night I did it again and I can’t sip now … But dont cut yourself….

    • Mayson, Thank you for reaching out. We are here to listen and help. Cutting is an addiction that is hard to overcome without help. We have a partner that will help you with your desire to self-harm.
      You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
      Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
      You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
      Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many overcome self-harm.

  53. I recently cut and I feel calm but my arm feels funny.. My heart is at its normal rate ( as my friend said) but I just feel really tired I can’t stop yawning and I don’t know why? I didn’t cut deep but I don’t know what happening and I’m scared. …. Help me.

    • Jo, Thank you for reaching out. We hope you are okay. If you feel this is an emergency please call 911. We have a partner that will help answer some of the questions you are having about self-harm. You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST. Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org. You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs) Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many we have sent them overcome self-harm.

    • hey jo don’t worry get some rest and take care

  54. This isn’t just a teen problem…. unfortunately …. what is there out there for people in their 40’s or is that not super common?

    • Good question, Ally. You’re right, it is not just a teen problem. The partner that we refer people to that are cutting, will help any age with self-harm issues. Self-harm is an addiction and without professional help it is hard to overcome. To get help from our partner, Door of Hope, you can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST. Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org. (again, this is a great site for any age to find out more about self-harm) You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs) Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many we have sent them of all ages overcome self-harm.

  55. I’m only 13 years old and people can be rude, but unfortunately adults don’t believe me when I tell them I’ve been bullied and my parents don’t care what happens to me. I cut and each time I do I go deeper and deeper. What should I do?

    • Kayley, It’s important that you keep trying to let teachers and counselors at school know you’ve been bullied. It’s also important to find help for your desire to cut. Thank you for reaching out. We are here to listen and help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
      You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
      Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
      You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
      Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many teens and young adults we have sent them overcome self-harm.

  56. Hey I’m writing a paper for a debate and I was given the position of proving self harm can be justified. Other than the endorphins giving you a high, what other advantages is there to cutting yourself?

  57. I’m 15 and recently got the taste of my first “Cutter’s High”. I didn’t relaize how strong the additiom is once you start. I am trying to reach out to a friend who understands, they’ve stopped for a few years, still gets urges too. But we’re both truing to stop me before it REALLY strarts into an addiction.

    • Star, We thank you for reaching out for help with cutting before it goes too far.You are right, it can become an overwhelming addiction that’s hard to stop. We have a partner that will specifically help you with cutting. This is a link to our partner page for them: http://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ You can email, call or text them to start getting help to overcome the desire to cut.

  58. I have been clean from self harm for almost 5 years and I slipped the other day. I instantly felt like I was going to pass out and I was nauseous. I regret what I did and let my emotions get the best of me. But I’m still feeling very nauseous and I’m not sure why. Am I sick to my stomach for what I did?

    • hayley, Overcoming self harm and recovery is not an easy thing. We are proud of you for reaching out for help. We have a partner that will help you with self harm This is a link to our partner page for them: https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ You can email, call or text them to start getting help to overcome the desire to cut.

  59. I’ve recently cut myself. It was my first time doing it. The cuts aren’t that deep but there are seven of them. I’ve been getting urges to do it again and I read online how easy it is to get addicted and I never thought it was true until I feel like I need to do it to be myself.

    • Sally, Thank you for reaching out to talk about his. Cutting and Self-harm are very easy to get addicted to as a coping mechanism. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
      You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
      Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
      You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
      Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many we have sent them overcome self-harm.

  60. I started cutting last year and I stopped a few months ago but now some things have happened and I lapsed and can’t stop

    • Sam, Thank you for reaching out for help. Cutting is an addiction that is very hard to overcome without help from someone that specializes in the recovery process. We have a partner that does this and they can help you with your overwhelming need to self-harm.
      You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
      Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
      You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
      Please reach out to them as soon as possible.

  61. I was clean for 3 whole years until last night. I’m stronger than this. I don’t know what got over me. But in my experience, I don’t think you can ever fully overcome this. It’s an everyday battle. I can’t even tell you how many times a week during those 3 years that I thought “just a few, you need the relief.” But I’ve realized that those voices aren’t wanting what’s best for me, I can’t let them control me. After everything I’ve been through, my body deserves more than this.. and so does yours. You’re strong too if you’re reading this and wanting to understand why you can’t stop. You’re taking those steps to get better by being here. I’m so proud of you. Don’t give up.

    • Don’t. Give. Up.

    • you can do this! fight the battle! we’re all here for you at every step 🙂 good luck hon!

  62. I started cutting in middle school to deal with A) being transgender (I wouldn’t realize I was transgender until I was 17 so until then it was just a deep sense of wrongess between me and the person lived as) and B) the emotionally manipulative relationship I had with my mom (she probably has Borderline Personality Disorder). The severity of the cutting actually started really bad (tons of shallow slashes to my knees, deep cuts to my ankles, burns to my wrists) and then got less frequent but more severe in high school (deep cut to my finger, deeper but fewer cuts to my knees, hits with random objects to my arms intended to break skin). In college, I cut less but bruised myself a lot more, but it started to taper off. I got this idea to join the military out of college and they wouldn’t accept someone who’d self-harmed so it suddenly became important to not self-harm anymore. I never joined but it was a good justification for not self-harming.

    I still remember the addiction. The gradual build of awful feelings (like a balloon filling up) and all of a sudden a trigger would flip and everything I looked at would be evaluated for how effectively it could do the right amount of harm to me. It was the only time I felt so out of control. I’d try to resist but it’d wear me down until I succumbed to self-harm. Nausea would immediately follow but the balloon would deflate and for weeks I’d been fine again. I know in college I was super depressed so ‘fine’ is relative. It probably took two years to wean myself off self-harm of any sort. I went to therapy around that time. Got diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and also gender identity disorder so I could start testosterone. Everything picked up after I started to transition. Life’s immensely better now. Compared to before, my confidence levels and emotional stability levels are through the roof now.

  63. I can’t stop cutting . It’s like if a part of me wants me to srop , but the other part wants me to keep on doing it . I am my worst nightmare , help…😔

    • Please know you are valuable and worthy! We are proud of you for reaching out for help with cutting. We have a partner organization, Door of Hope, that specializes in Self-Harm and has recovery coaches available. Please visit http://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ for more information about them and their number to text to talk to a recovery coach.

    • i know exactly how you feel, hon. i go through that stage mostly every day. i try to stop cutting. give my weapons all to my dad and mom…but then i find a pencil and cut myself as best as possible. i cannot stop either… it is really hard to stop cutting for many people too. just know i am here for you and your loved ones are always there for you too. there is a suicide prevention hotline… call 1-800-273-8255 or text 741-741. they help with anything.

  64. I just cut once in awhile, when im mad, or sad. Just mostly like it because it takes away the pain, it gives you something other than mental pain that hurts more than the pysical pain. Even flr a moment it is just so great. I dont think id like to stop, im growing out the fear and making it bigger and bigger. Not much so far only like 20-24 stiches.. i told my family Jokinly i will have a tattosleeve but just it will be scars. Haahhhh and i probably will get that sleeve

    • And also i used to use razor bladdes to cut the palms of my hands for no reason, erasers to the skin. Anytning really to hurtmyself since i was just a young teenager. Often smashing big rocks or something to hurt my hand or even used to punch myself ro feel some pain. Id get so angry at work id always smash my helmets curse out loud through things. Anytning to realease the pain. I worked in forestry since i was 18 now im 24 , currently still living with my family. Waiting day to day and thiking about hurting myself. Ive put alot of thought into it but idk if i should do it.. like i want to, but im scared tooo… i dont want to be scared or sad anymore. I tend to attach to people very easily and need constant approval basicly cant be left alone or id eventually hurting myself again. Thats how i escape loneliness and depression. Pain is my friend and always been my friend

  65. I was mad when I cut hand but the next day it was very painfull

    • Lucy, Please know you are valuable and worthy! IF you feel like you need help to stop cutting we have a partner organization, Door of Hope, that specializes in Self-Harm and has recovery coaches available. Please visit http://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ for more information about them and their number to text to talk to a recovery coach.

  66. I’m a cutter. I have congenital insensitivity to pain, and cannot always feel things. With a deep enough cut, there is feeling. Is this wrong. Tell me why I should stop.

    • i am a cutter too. i have cut a bunch and i can’t seem to stop. what my friends always say is be around people who you feel comfortable with. just know i am here with you and i know what you are feeling. i have cut about an inch into my arm once, not painful but its scary and later it hurts like heck. you could get a councilor, i have one, it helps me with my cutting habit. i know i am not really good at supporting people but i am here for you and i know exactly what you’re feeling.

  67. I was once in a deep depression I believe was caused by some sexual abuse as a young teen. Out of disgust with my maturing body I fell into a binge fast cycle. I also began cutting myself, the first time I tried it I didn’t feel pain just nerves. I continued to cut for a couple years in hopes to find out why it didn’t cause pain. Every once in a while I’ll stab deep into my wrist with a needle to see if I still don’t feel it and I don’t. Can anyone tell me why my body feels pain when it’s not self inflicted? My curiosity has given me many scars and I don’t want to add any more to the collection anymore, I just want to understand what’s going on in my body and mind.

    • I believe I have a very similar story as you. Emotionally cold for years after teenage sexual abuse. Binge-purging that was really bad at one point, and only relapses occasionally now I’m 20. The deep depressions I face are very hard to understand in my own mind, and I feel like when I cut, seeing physical pain makes my emotional pain easier to understand. I tend to not feel like the blades “hurt”, rather I see the damage, and it acts like a bandage for my tears.

  68. I’m a cutter too. I don’t think I can or want to stop. I’ve been doing it since I was younger… started with hitting myself on the head or biting myself when I was really young, then to scratching when I was between 9-11, then cutting at 12, though not deep at all, barely enough to bleed and only a few times a year.
    16 was when it got hard. Being bullied at school (started in grade 1 and carried to high school, though it was usually words), being bullied or forgotten at home, I started cutting more, though still not very deep.
    But lately I’ve cut deeper and deeper. I don’t mind if I cut too deep. I’m not afraid anymore.

    • Lauren, You are hurting and in pain and we are here to listen. It’s important that you understand how much you matter. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness by others and by yourself too. Loving yourself is important and overcoming the need to cut is very hard without help and resources. The need to cut deeper and deeper is dangerous. With accepting help, you are giving yourself a chance to live the life that was intended for you free of hurt, pain, and cutting. Would you contact our partner organization that specializes in self-harm today? They have recovery coaches available that will help you on the road to recovery and overcoming the need to cut.
      • You can text them at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
      • Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
      • You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
      Please give yourself a chance by texting them today. You are not alone in your struggles. We care and so do they.

    • I’m 12 turning 13 in October, and I’ve been hurt so much to the point that I’m broken. I am a loner and an introvert, people have hurt me time and time again, and now I have started cutting, and I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to stop, because it helps with the pain I feel. I wear long sleeves or bandage to cover it up. My 6 year old sister is the only person who knows what I am doing to myself. She actually found me a blade to cut myself with even though she didn’t know what I was going to do with it.

      • Cassidy, Please know you are valuable and worthy! It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and admit you’re broken. We are proud of you and we want you to know you’re not alone. Overcoming the desire to cut without help is very hard to do. It’s a vicious cycle that will only get worse as you continue to cut. Please seek help from our partner organization, Door of Hope, that specializes in Self-Harm and has recovery coaches available. Please visit https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ for more information about them and their number to text to talk to a recovery coach. Do it for yourself and your little sister.

  69. I’m currently 13 turning 14 in march, I recently starting cutting not very deep though just enough to bleed. after i switched to online school i got depressed and lazy. i stopped doing my work and i wouldn’t get out of bed and this resulted in me starting to cut. i still haven’t stopped and i don’t think i ever will be able to stop, i think about cutting just about every second of the day it haunts me and every time someone asks why i’m wearing a hoodie i say i’m cold but i’m just trying to hide my scars. i haven’t cut in a few months and my arms and thighs have healed but i know i will go back because its a rut it never changes and i don’t think i want it to change because cutting gives me a calm feeling that nothing else can give me.

    • Jimmie, We are proud of you for reaching out to talk about the struggling you are having with cutting. We know it takes a lot of courage to speak up about our issues and you have taken the first step to recovery by doing this. Self-harm is an addiction that is hard to overcome without help. There are many factors that lead to cutting. You mention you are struggling with depression too. It’s important that you also talk to someone about his too. We have a partner that has helped many that we have sent them to overcome the desire to self-harm They have recovery coaches that you can text or talk to on the phone about cutting. To find out how to text them please go to https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/

  70. it wont look good and its not you will get judied like i did. you can posibble die from cutting.

  71. I’m 15 and I started cutting the day after almost killing myself. I had the knife up to my skin ready to do it but found that I couldn’t. Not for myself but because I didn’t want to hurt those very few people who care about me. The day after trying and failing to kill myself I gave my pocket knife to the only person I trusted completely and told them to keep it for me. Later that night I started cutting but not with anything that could make much more than a bloody scratch. I managed to stop for a month and a half only to start again yesterday. I want to die but I don’t want to kill myself what should I do?

  72. So ive been wanting to cut for at least 2 years since one of my grandads died but didn’t have the guts, but since my other grandad died 6 months ago it has got stronger and eventually it won. I’ve only been cutting for a few weeks but i dont want to stop and if i do i will just find a different way to hurt myself because thats what i have been doing. I don’t know what to do because every time I cut i feel calm then i feel sick to the stomach

  73. im 16 i started cutting when i was 13 i still do i just dont know what to do with my life anymore i ask for help but they do noting
    i cut when im by myself i feel like i have no one anymore i lost everyone i care about what do i do??
    🙁

    • Skylar, We want you to know that you matter and you deserve to be helped and listened to. Cutting is very hard to overcome without help. We are proud of you for reaching out for help with cutting. We have a partner organization, Door of Hope, that specializes in Self-Harm and has recovery coaches available. Please visit http://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ for more information about them and their number to text to talk to a recovery coach.

  74. I’ve been researching TCM and I think cutting is similar to how cupping or wet cupping works. Scientifically, it’s essentially self-inflicted harm used to release endorphins that make people feel better for a short period of time. I bet cupping can be just as addictive as cutting but one is disguised as medicine and the other is considered socially unacceptable.

  75. I’m 13 and I’ve been self harming. My “friends” know that I do, but they don’t help me. I have no one to open up to. School counselors never helped me. My own parents got mad at me for getting suicidal thoughts, and say I’m selfish, and need to be greatful. I feel like a bad person for feeling this way. I’ve been living life as if I’m happy, and healthy. Someone help me please.

    • Please know you are valuable and worthy! We are proud of you for reaching out for help with cutting. We have a partner organization, Door of Hope, that specializes in Self-Harm and has recovery coaches available. Please visit http://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ for more information about them and their number to text to talk to a recovery coach. If you ever feel so overwhelmed you can’t go on, please call:
      • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255
      • Or Chat with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
      • Or Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741
      • Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
      Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many teens and young adults we have sent them to overcome self-harm.

  76. I’ve been cutting for 2 years now and my friends know what I’m doing they act like they care for about 12 hours and then move on like nothing happened and I’ve seen a professional counselor but it always felt like she was being rude to me. For example I told her no one ever believes me when I say I’m not lying and she said we’ll work on it and we played a game bc it was my first time there and she assumed I knew how to play the game and then proceeded to say I was cheating and when I told her I didn’t know how to play she called me a liar. And once my little 5 year old sister went with me and she called my baby sister annoying and stupid in front of me and she called my friend dumb when I went into her office and my friend waited in the waiting area

  77. I am 25 years old nearly 26 and I’ve been cutting since I was 14years old. I hate myself everyone I do it. When I was younger it was a daily occourance to cope with the pressure of school, family and bullies. As I have gotten older it has become less frequent but when Ithe happens its sown much worse than the time before. Any small or big sad event in my life sends me right back to cutting… It’s hard to hide the scars and people judge you so much but it’s something I can’t seem to stop. I wish I could because I’ve already attempted suicide twice in my life and luckily failed as I don’t really want to die but my emotions are so deep that cutting is my only release. Please if anyone has any advice I would be grateful and to anyone who is selfharming also you are not alone and you are such strong brave beings who deserve to be happy. Thank you xx

    • Thank you for telling your story. Self-harm is a battle that is hard to overcome without help and support. If you are interested we have a partner that specializes in self-injury that you could talk to. They have recover coaches that you can text, email or call. For information on our partner, Door of Hope go to https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/

  78. I’m 16 now. growing up my sister always did this, I never wanted to be like her nor do anything to harm my self I never believed in self harm the beginning of last year a couple of weeks after my birthday I grabbed a kitchen knife and would constantly scratch it against my wrist until the skin would become raw and start to bleed I never told my mom because I didn’t want to get yelled at then on June 5 I said something quite concerning to my family and my mom told my sister behind my back that I should just kill my self if I think my life is so bad though she went out her way to help my sister cope, I broke a razor and I sat in the bath and I cut myself deeper than I ever had I blacked out but miraculously woke up no one ever found out my Mom became aware about my open wound when we were in a car together the next day she never asked me about it. It’s been a year and I feel like I want to die a lot of the times but staying here and alive is just one way of proving my mom wrong ig. I don’t feel good I feel sick and disgusted with my self because of this …I swore would never be one of those people who would ever harm themselves

  79. I’m 16 and I have been cutting since I was 12.
    I don’t was live anymore. I hate myself. Every inch of myself. I just wanna disappear, I don’t wanna exist.

    • Antara, Please know you are valuable and worthy! We are proud of you for reaching out for help with cutting. We have a partner organization, Door of Hope, that specializes in Self-Harm and has recovery coaches available. Please visit http://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ for more information about them and their number to text to talk to a recovery coach.

  80. I stopped cutting about 15 years ago… and yet here I am searching the internet for an answer. I want to know why I still get the urge to cut 15 years later. I have a career, my own family… I’m a full blown adult and I still think about cutting. I have developed coping mechanisms; I work out, I do jujitsu… ect… I have recently cut waaaaay back on drinking. I would have a drink or 2 (sometimes 3 or 4 or 5) like 3 to 5 times a week. Maybe that’s why these urges are so strong right now. I gave up one habit for another. Guess I’ve never really dealt with the problem of numbing the pain. The thing about drinking is it’s socially acceptable, so no one gets up in arms when a mom comes home from a long shift and has 2 glasses of wine to calm her brain… switch drinking wine to cutting and that’s a DCFS case. Actually I would bet many of us stopped cutting around 21 because we took up drinking… and I wonder how many of us have ADHD and can follow my train of thought? Hunters in a farmers world. It’s hard to not fit in, even as an adult I feel like an outsider. I’m a more tolerated outsider, because I will just say to people “ya i know I’m a weirdo.” I embrace that I’m not like everyone else. But it still can be lonely, even though I reject the company of friends and family.

    Well…. this turned into a journal. Whatever. I’m posting it. I feel better. Honesty doesn’t make friends but it does earn respect.

  81. As of today it has been 5 years since I last cut myself. I started in 2005, and I tried to quit so many times from 2009 on, but it wasn’t until 2014 on this day that I finally did it for the last time. I used to hit myself when I was much younger before I started cutting.

    It consumes me for years. Every feeling was stopped by cutting. It was an obsession and something that no one in my life knew about for nearly 6 years. When people found out, I tried to quit for them but never could. But I was surrounded by the very things that triggered me to self-harm still so I couldn’t heal. And also, I didn’t think I could. I didn’t understand why I did it. I just thought there must be something severely wrong with me, I had no idea there was a reason for my mental instability. We. ow know that I had cPTSD, sensory processing disorder, and pretty bad depression/anxiety. I developed eating issues in my teens as well as OCD symptoms. But I just dealt with it all on my own.

    I grew up in a home where emotional expression wasn’t allowed unless it was happy – and I was also in an adult role. I was parentified. I was abused in many ways, specifically for years by my mom, but by a few others as well. I finally realized in my late teens WHY I cut. I’m still learning reasons why I did.

    And I was addicted. It was the only thing that stopped my pain, and I was in control. It numbed me. I deserved it, I thought. I know now it affects the brain like cocaine. It kept me safe, because if I could be calm and collected, I wouldn’t cause myself to be in as much danger. And I wouldn’t hurt inside. It kept me alive, really. But as I grew older I realized it was unhealthy and had emotionally stunted me and I wanted to stop, but kept experiencing more trauma. It wasn’t until I was finally in a safe environment and a healing environment I was able to begin facing my emotions.

    I realized emotions were beautiful, they were information, and enhancements. I want to feel the greatest happness and also the deepest of sadness, even if I’m still terrified of negative ones. Since I stopped, I’m learning to express my feelings for the first time. It’s honestly been like being born again.

    It is still a daily struggle. It can be so scary to feel some of this stuff, and I’m still dealing with dissociation in different forms, as well as other issues I’m still healing. I have to sometimes talk myself down. But I always do, every time. I want to be alive. I want to feel, and heal. I wanna be free.

    I’m so proud of myself and I hope anyone reading this who is hurting please know you can heal. I promise.

    • Rachel, You have overcome much in your life. We are so proud of you being clean for 5 years! That is amazing and we want you to know that you are strong and your story is going to help others that are going through some of the issues you faced. We would be honored to share your story on our site. If you would like to do this go to this page to share it: https://www.thehopeline.com/share-your-story/ We will only use your first name to protect your identity. Thanks! TheHopeLine Team

  82. Im only 14 and i have alot of self harm scars and i am still cutting i will go days with out cutting then ill just cut myself maybe 3 times My famliy doesnt know because they will get mad so i hide them with makeup its getting worse and worse everyday I just get so down and have no one to go to i cut its like it makes me feel better and they are getting deeper and deeper everytime i do it i came here for some help i wanna stop so bad i just cant

    • Anna, Please know you are valuable and worthy! We are proud of you for reaching out for help with cutting. It is good that you are ready to take the next step stop. We have a partner organization, Door of Hope, that specializes in Self-Harm and has recovery coaches available. Please visit http://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ for more information about them and their number to text to talk to a recovery coach. Please chat online with one of our HopeCoaches too. It’s free and confidential. A HopeCoach will listen judgment-free and help you with self-harm. Chat online at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  83. im 12 and in 7th grade, my life is pretty crappy rn i was assullted and abused,my aunt yells at me and when i cry my uncle tells me to shut up or he will give me a resone to cry, i have been thinking about cutting i try to stop myself but sometimes the urge is to much 🙁 i rly need help like an online therapy or sum else if u have tips pls help

    • Ash, We are so glad you are reaching out for help with cutting. The struggle is real and your home life is contributing to it. It’s important that you are in a safe environment. We are going to email you these resources and help you further there so it’s not on a public forum. We have a partner that does online therapy and they can help you. The name of the organization is Door of Hope and they specialize in Self-Harm and have recovery coaches available. Please visit https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ for more information about them and their number to text to talk to a recovery coach. Please chat online with one of our HopeCoaches too. It’s free and confidential. A HopeCoach will listen judgment-free and help you with self-harm. Chat online at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

    • i understand how you feel, i have transphobic parents

  84. hello My name is Alex im 14 I starded cutting my arms and legs and it has alot of them Ive been raped when i was a kid and my grandpa died 7 years ago and stuff has been really hard Im not surporeted by my parents im trans to girl into a guy and they dont let me wear boy clothes and idk what to do anymore im always thinking of dieing

    • and i feel like im not worth living i get told to die and get called names which makes me insurced acout my self i always starve myself and try to get water poisioning so i can die i feel like a mikstake

    • Dear Alex,

      First of all, we are proud of you for reaching out for help. You are worthy and you are not a mistake. We care about you and we want you to know that you are not alone. We are here for you. We encourage you to chat online with one of our HopeCoaches at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/. A HopeCoach is a great listener that is there for you judgment-free. You can talk to a HopeCoach about what you are going through. If you don’t feel comfortable chatting online you can reach our to our partner that will help you with cutting at https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/. You can text, email or call them for help to overcome self-harming. Please never give up on yourself! You are valued and you are loved beyond what you are seeing in your life, right now.

      • Alex….you are not unique in the way you feel but you are a unique individual as you are very special and do have lots of friends that you just haven’t met yet. Please call the HopeLine and chat with someone as I am sure you will start finding friends there to help you thru everything. Your a great person and really smart for seeking out help. You keep up your faith and stay strong. I am proud of you!

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