If you quickly open a soda, there is some chance the contents will foam up and spill over the top. Shake that bottle for thirty seconds before removing the top and you’ll have a much more intense experience. Talking with people about relationships with loved ones in the military is like opening a bottle that has been violently shaken. The pressure inside is so great that the questions and experiences come out fast and strong, and they spew in every direction.
Anonymous wrote: Guys usually don’t communicate the way women do. I know my husband loves me and missed me on deployments. Did he ever write that in a letter? No. The best I would get was a “miss you Babe” on a phone call.
Fadeintoyou82 wrote: My boyfriend is deployed. We had been together for 7 months before he left. Everything was going great the first half of the deployment, then out of nowhere, he starts to become distant and disconnected. Then he tells me that he doesn’t know if he has the same feelings for me anymore.
HappyLittleGirl wrote: I am experiencing my first deployment away from the most fantastic man I’ve ever met besides my father. We’ve been dating for 8 months and love each other. He’s in the Navy and deployed somewhere in the Middle East… I love him dearly and I know he loves me… but I worry that he doesn’t miss me.
nicolem28 wrote: I’m engaged to an AF guy and he’s been gone 50% of our relationship. This trip he’s on now has been awful since he has minimal communication opportunities, so I understand how the doubt can creep in.
Lyndsey wrote: Military relationships are special. if they make it through the training and first deployment, they can make it through anything.
I’ve asked one of our partners, Mike Jones, to talk about loved ones on deployment. Mike is a former US Army Captain with two tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan. Mike shares openly about some of the struggles and how to overcome them when your loved one is deployed.
Dawson: It seems that with a lot of our callers the lack of communication with a deployed spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is what puts a lot of pressure on relationships.
Mike: Communication with those back home is difficult for several reasons. A lot of time soldiers are in isolated situations with limited or command-only communications. If you’re front line like infantry soldiers, you are busy 24-7-365-360 (every hour, every day of the year, all around you). You’re either on patrol, on guard duty, or crashing. There’s very little downtime, but even then, the enemy may decide it’s time to lob a few mortars or attack the compound. A lot of that downtime is focused on getting ready to go again.
Dawson: Perhaps it’s more than just the number of emails or the amount of talk-time. If couples really don’t understand or feel what the other is going through, they’ll still have a disconnect whether they communicate a lot or a little.
Mike: It’s really important for those at home to try to gain some situational awareness regarding their deployed soldier. Talking to other experienced military spouses helps. One of the things to understand is that a soldier needs to stay completely focused on the assignment at hand… not home, not family, not kids, not you… their assignment. If their heads are not intensely focused and in the game, someone can get hurt. Even when a unit is just walking down a road everyone is looking in a prescribed direction for particular things. If one soldier loses intense mental focus and is not looking the right way, you have a sector uncovered. Soldiers are trained to switch off everything else when the mission is on.
Mike: Also, there are times when soldiers don’t seem to have much to say. Spouses need to understand that it’s hard sometimes to switch back from being warrior to being relational. And sometimes they can’t talk about what’s going on because it’s either too hard on them or they fear it will be too hard on you.
Dawson: Do deployed soldiers typically feel guilty about being away from home and family?
Mike: Mostly they are so engaged with what they’re doing that they don’t have time for that. But in some cases; yes. If you’ve got a deployed soldier feeling guilty about being away, the last thing they need to hear is complaining about problems at home.
Dawson: While it’s difficult for loved ones to understand what their deployed soldier is going through, by comparison, is it much easier for soldiers to understand what it is like at home?
Mike: No, not true at all. Some soldiers have no clue about how difficult it is for those at home. Like I said before, some soldiers have a harder time flipping the mental switch from combat focus to home-life focus. Their life in a combat zone is so intense, fear mixed with exhilaration, a sense of mission accomplishment mixed with the pain of losing a comrade. Problems at home that are huge to their loved ones may seem trivial compared to the combat zone. Again, the more loved ones can gain some situation awareness about these things, the easier deployments will become, particularly combat deployments.
Dawson: Do you have suggestions for how loved ones should approach those rare, unscheduled, middle-of-the-night phone calls?
Mike: Maybe something along these lines: Honey, we’re okay here. We’ve had a problem with _____, but we’ve got it under control. Mom and dad are helping, and so is my brother. The FRG (Family Resource Group) is there when I need to talk about Army stuff. We’re all good. I love you (i.e. don’t be concerned about me being unfaithful). Be safe, stay focused, we’re all going to get through this! (NOTE: TheHopeLine partners with Centerstone Military Services for additional resources for military personnel and their families.)
Dawson: It sounds like the soldiers and their loved ones all have their individual battles to fight.
Mike: Very true. Spouses, parents, children, girlfriends or boyfriends all have different types of battles to fight, but you all go to war together as a team. If you can hang onto that kind of perspective, things are going to be a lot easier. The worst thing is fighting the battle of deployment and fighting one another at the same time.
“I am in a relationship with a man who his spending the next six months deployed. This is our first deployment as a couple. It is also his last deployment, as he will be retiring following this trip. He has been very open with me about the fact that this will be hard, but we are a strong couple, and not getting through this was never even mentioned as an option. I am very sad, because I hate that we are separated, and I worry about his safety. However, I have been keeping myself busy with ways to cope and it is helping.
Some of the things I did are:”
“Soooooo, I guess I am hoping this will help those of you who are struggling like me. This sucks, but six or seven months of sadness is a small price to pay for a lifetime of wonderful.
Strength to all!”
Thanks, Nicole, for sharing your ideas!
Military – TheHopeLine.com
Are you concerned about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? Learn more about it here or download your free eBook.
Kaitlynn Eck says:
I need help my boyfriend is going to basic training!!
I am really proud of him but I’m nerves that he will pull away. People say I have nothing to worry about but Im still scared. If there is anyone who can help please do because the time is getting closer
Dave Anderson says:
We are happy to talk with you about it. Please go to http://www.thehopeline.com and register to chat with us. For the short term, separation like this will generally make two closer or show them that there is no long term future for them. Fear is the issue, there is no reason to “fear” this deployment. There will be many deployments in any military service. I thank you for his service to his country!
kaylafightforpeace says:
hi guys lol my name is kayla my boyfriend has decided he is going to sign up for the marines we have been dating for almost a year and a half. He is my world and i met him while in college, which i have a good two years or more left of with internshiping as a wildlife biologist if i can. atleast i know i should stay busy enough i think! i just want to stay calm and not be freaking out right now ! i am an extreme worry wort maybe by the end of this i will be more tough lol i just want to do my best to support him and love him. He really needs me and i really need him. God willing we will get through this. For you who are in later stages of deployment i can only say one thing that will get me through all of it for certain and thats alot of praying and strong will! Let’s do our best to stay away from the drinking alot because that’s not going to help anything its only going to create more problems for us thank you for all your support i wish you all happy relationships during and after these experiences you have given me much insight as to what i am getting into and i know i will not give up even though i know its going to be tough so women DONT GIVE UP !!!
Lexi says:
Hello:) first thank you for being here and helping! Sencond thank you to all the men and woman serving and or Married to a soldier blessings. Anyways I met this man about a month and had 3 personal dates before he deployed for afanstain in July of 2014 my question is that I fear that me waiting here for 12 months could be a waste? Also will he ever be able to make contact with me? Everything happened so fast I did not even get to hug him later before he left just a call as he was leaving and the one lay over. And boy was it tears on both ends. These last weekends I have gone to the last places we went on our dates at sun set and have cried but remember the positive moments we shared. I try to keep hope and try to stay positive. Every morning I wake up and write him a letter and take a picture with counting down day card. Before I go to sleep I light a white candle for a few hours before sleep time. Is there Anything else I should do? Or could talk to someone to clear a few little other things in my mind? Thank you! Sorry for writing a book.
Marcela says:
Hi i am on the same boat as you, they might even be together right now, if you want e-mail me at dianagil511@me.com we can talk sometimes i feel the same was as you.
Loyda says:
Wow! I am in the exact same position! I met a wonderful man while he was on leave for a week, so there was a lot of time to text and we saw each other twice. Then he went back to work and communication dropped to a minimum for two weeks.. One day he told me his team had received an assignment and they would be leaving that month. Contact with him stayed minimal, and one day I finally asked if I could see him. Surprisingly, he agreed to meet me! I made him open when letters and gave them to him. We had a great night, and at the end I said “this is probably the last time I see you before you leave huh?”
His response was yes, because he was leaving in about 12 hours! I thought I had more time, but he couldn’t really tell me when he was leaving before that or where either. Its been 3 days, today is day 4 and I’m just waiting to hear from him.. I don’t even know where he is to send him the care package I already made..
I’ve known him for a total of 6 weeks. And I don’t know if its silly to wait for him, I’m not even his girlfriend! And he’s only stationed in my state, he’s getting stationed somewhere new in about 6-8 months and then he’ll be done and returning to his home state after that!
Is it silly to consider being with him if the chances of it working seem so low? And after knowing him for so little time? I have never met anyone like him! I feel so good when I’m with him, and I know that if the circumstances were different, we’d be perfect! I know he likes me a lot too, he’s told me he likes me and then there are moments where he’s looking deep into my eyes, he kisses my forehead, pushes the hair away from my face, kisses me slowly.. but then he doesn’t text me for days at a time.. and now that he’s gone I don’t know when he’ll contact me or if he’s even feeling the same as me!
Sorry for the novel too! I just don’t know where else to go, I feel like my friends don’t understand because they haven’t been in my shoes.. what ended up happening with you????
nicole says:
Hi- I’ve been doing a lot of research on the Marines as I have met a much younger guy who we happened to fall “in love” after such a short time. He was home for visit and I’m glad I had the opportunity to know the sweet,gentle,warm side of him, but we never discussed what life would e like when he returned back to the base as we were so wrapped up in each other. I keep reading posts and feel I’m not alone, but the phone calls are so far and in between it’s hard to deal with the fact that once he’s in military mode his sweetnss has diminished and he may not even think of me at all. Thanks for your post as it hits home. If you ever want to chat, I will be more than willing.
Natalie says:
I’m in a very similar predicament. My boyfriend is taking off to boot camp this October. I am terrified. Especially after reading this page. I will be taking off to college. We will have very little communication. I’m scared that he will come back as a completely different person. He is my best friend. I would love nothing more than to marry him one day. I don’t want these feelings to change between us. We’re in a playful, very loving, committed relationship. Can anybody suggest what I could do? I want to stay together forever. How can I help him readjust back and forth from military mode? Can I do that ?
sam says:
my boyfriend is overseas and we have not talk in a week, would that be normal
Ela says:
Hello Lexi I’ve read your email (after two years) so what has happened with you at the end? Please write back. I am in very similar situation right now. Ela
caity says:
Hey Lexi, well, it sounds like you two made a very big connection. but you kind of just have to be honest with yourself if its right for you and him i guess. I’m in the waiting game myself, my best friend of 2 and a half years and as of a month ago boyfriend and a week ago deployed boyfriend, i’m feeling a bit freaked out too, but he told me before he left he has loved me since we became friends and he will continue to do so forever. and i feel the same. so to me its worth waiting. but i know him, inside and out. do you know your man? did you guys agree to be faithful and where you two want to see this going? I am miss my man every single minute of everyday. i wake up thinking about him and fall asleep the same way, but i’m not stopping my life. if your boyfriend loves you than he wants to see you happy, because he has enough to worry about right now than to worry if your ok. letters to him telling him whats up and how you miss him is cool, but then be happy, live your life. go to work/school out with friends (ones that won’t get you to drunk, because when you love a man you can’t even drunk dial believe me the tears will run.) I’m only a week into this deployment but i’ve learned its hard but you can only keep moving. It helps in a way to also think of the things he does that drive me slightly insane, because it cuts the hurt and in the end you kind of start to miss those annoying things, so when he comes back you may love and care even more. hope my perspective helped, and to let you know, your not alone. there is many of us out there waiting for our boys to come home. don’t be scared, don’t be foolish, and be as brave as the man your in love with if not more so. keep on going and living life. don’t let yourself stop. just know why your waiting for him and know if he is worth it. i know mine is to me. also in every relationship not just as crazy of ones like military relationships, know the other person is human. he may be your hero, but he isn’t superman. you have to take care of him as much as he does you and forgive even for having to leave you for so long. hope i helped. with love in my heart hope you make it through this with a strong relationship to look too
yvser says:
how uplifting your words are caity, thanks for sharing.. i have a boyfriend as an army nurse, he never told me he was leaving but he just mentioned about his deployment, maybe he just doesn’t want me to worry about him going to his area of assignment. long time no communication. really! and me here just waiting… 🙁
unknwn says:
Dwelling on absense can make the return harder, that is where your job starts with your soldier. An endless amount of patience is required. Speacial training can be recieved for insight into how a soldier is feeling and or thinking. Time and love may be the hardest things to Waite for. Keep by their side no matter what even if it is only as friends because when we are ready we will be your never ending gaurdian in every way.
Marcela says:
This is really hard, he says he is busy and can’t talk, and i know he is, but still i feel he doesn’t want to talk to me, he did told me he changes when he is deployed, but i want him to show me more affection, he left after two months of meeting each other, i feel that he should show me some affection to give me hope and let me know he thinks about me.
Evelyn Wanogho says:
I know this post is old but it just gave me hope and made my love for my soldier increase and miss her a lot too. Thanks
Jackie says:
I am in the same situation…and really miss him.
I met this wonderful man 10 months ago..he is in the Air Force and deployed to Quatar. This is my first experience with deployment. I am trying to stay busy and not worry but some days it’s hard…he’s been gone a little over a month now. I am able to talk to him..well by text…and we try to skype every few days. I am a worrier by nature..so I’m trying so hard to work on that and be supportive. Any suggestions? My email is jakinnane@yahoo.com.
Nicole says:
Ive been with my soldier for a short period of time and he proposed to me. Of course I said yes and Im very excited. I found out this morning that he will be deployed soon and Im terrified. This is my first time experiencing this and Im not sure what can or will happen. Im so in love with and I know he feel the same. He have been going thru a lot and have been very stressed. Im worried about his health. What can I do to make this easier for the both of us?
Marcela says:
Hello
Congrat! This is my first time also, and what i learned was that you need to support him, don’t talk about the deployment, try to meke him feel good, zero stress, spend time together, how long is he going to be deploy for.
Also if he wants his space give to him, is nothing against you.
meg says:
I started talking to this great man..
and he got deployed to Africa and im new at this.. we love each other and im wondering how do you deal..
Emy says:
Hello everyone ,
It’s been a week since he left bound to Japan, he told me Japan is only his Base he can be send anywhere :-(. I haven’t heard from him yet . He promised me to contact me as soon as he can.
I’ve never dealt with any soldier before. I met him 5 months ago at the University where we went together. He was so hesitant to approach me because he knows he will be deployed right after the semester ends, but he was man enough to inform me his feelings. To make the story short everything was so good, the chemistry was outstanding, we both know that there’s this special feeling that bind us. We decided to keep the process slow and really get to know each other. Until deployment week arrived and that was the worst week ever. He came into my house to say goodbye we cried so much, a prior to that deployment week he told me to wait for him. Then he changed his mind saying : it will be totally unfair for me and it will be harder for him while he is in foreign land if we commit or he will ask me to wait for him.We both agree to remain friends .
He told me and keep repeating it to me – when he come back to Florida I will be the first person he’s going to meet . This will be his last deployment . He want to continue his nursing as soon as he’s back.
I am currently in a nursing program by the time he will come back I will be on my last semester if gods will. Although I know that there’s no guarantee ,but I want to wait for him and I told him that when he come back and decided to go on with his life without me ,then I will thank him for all the good memoirs that we had and knowing him is an honor. At least I tried .
So to all those woman out there who are in the same situation like mine, keep your self busy . I know it’s not easy.
Mrs.McCall says:
Hello all:)
My husband and I have been married a year as of last week and we are dual military we are both in the marine corps and two months ago my husband left on the first deployment between the two of us 🙁 it’s just a mue so I’m not worried about his safety( he’s a grunt so I’m just thankful he’s not on the ground :), we left on very shaky terms having been apart the 6 months prior to his deployment because I’ve been in training … I’ve hear from him once every two weeks since he’s left and I’m just so worried that this deployment was my husbands breaking point for us. I tried really hard to be a good wife for him before he deployed even though I was in training but I feel like me missing the months prior to him leaving I’ll never be able to make up for … I hope this deployment goes by fast and I’m just nervous about him being gone for no reason … Blah rant over I just needed to get that out I love my husband and I hope he comes back and still loves me … Dual military relationships feel impossible
rachael says:
Weirdly enough my boyfriend is on a mue as well but for now its training till they leave I Dec….im feeling my relationship with him is on edge as well if you need anyone to talk to im here!!! Hes on the uss new york
laura says:
my fiancé is on the USS New York too…I think we are in a similar boat (no pun intended) so feel free to contact me anytime!
caroline says:
Hi, my boyfriend is about to go on his first deployment and I’m really stressing out, but I don’t want him to know that! I’ve moved countries to be with him and due to language barriers I have no friends here and am basically stuck in by myself all day. It’s not through lack of trying I’m just very shy about my language skills (which in trying very hard to learn). I’m just really worried about facing this totally alone. Any suggestions? X
kaylafightforpeace says:
what country are you in?
tati says:
Hello, My Boyfriend Is the army and he is deployed in Iraq …. I love this man with all my heart and if I could go from my red bottoms into his combat boots I’ll trade places with him in a heartbeat. That’s how much I love this man.. But I’ve been expressing to him I Love him and I miss him so much last time we spoke he told me he love me too this time he said cool.. Whats wrong? Am i doing to much,
liv says:
Hi Tati,
I am sorry for the weird question but I am dating this guy who’s based in iraq as well and I wanted to send him something for Christmas and he turn around and said he can’t receive mail… Is that true!?!! O.o
dez says:
My boyfriend (in the Navy and stationed in Bahrain) got deployed about a month ago, and when he told me that he was getting deployed he said he couldn’t tell me for how long, and then when he finally moved on the boat he said he wasn’t sure if we were gonna be able to talk. So the first day he got deployed we talked briefly and then the next day he text me telling me he loves me but he wasn’t getting any service. And that’s the last time I talked to him. Well my ex who is also in the Navy is telling me that he is lying to me and telling me that he is able to talk to me but just doesn’t want to and that is why he also didn’t tell me how long he was getting deployed for. I’m starting believe him because I haven’t talked to my boyfriend in so long, it feels like. I miss him and i just want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation as me, because I’m some days are okay, and then some days are unbearable without him. Please help. Thank you.
Yanis says:
You should try to contact the FRG (Family Resource Group) for his boat if you can. The wives there can answer your questions. The bad thing though is that usually the soldier must give your info to them before you can communicate with them, but I would try anyway. I’m afraid that I would have to agree with your ex…my bf didn’t tell me exactly when he would return, but he told me the month of his return. Your boyfriend was wrong to withhold all information from you. Good luck.
Sscrlk says:
Hi everyone,
I have been with my boyfriend for just under a year.. He has very recently deployed for Hes 6 months in afghan, although he has previously been so knows what to expect we wasn’t in a relationship at the time. He is infantry front line so communication is extremely difficult for us whilst he’s gone… I am just so scared that he will forget about me whilst hes there, that the distance between us will make it easier for him too not want me after he’s back,
rebecca says:
This was very insightful, thank you. I’ve known my boyfriend for 15 years however we’ve only been committed to each other for the past 4 months. I know he’s been on a few deployments before but we weren’t together at the time. Now that we’ve been together and he’s getting ready to be deployed the day after Christmas I’m lost with what to do or say. I love this man with all my heart and don’t want to lose him but I can’t be selfish and need to support him, I just don’t know how. What do I say to support him? What do I get him as a Christmas gift? I want to get him something he can take with him that will remind him of me but will help him to get through this and fight to come home to me. Any help would be appreciated.
Sarahi says:
Hello,
My name is Sarahi, My BF is in the Army and Deployed in July to the Middle East. I just bought him a Christmas present which I’m still trying to figure it out how to send lol. This is his first deployment so We are still knew to the whole thing. I wanted to get him something that will remind him of me and he could keep as well. So I bought him a bracelet from “Things to Remember” with our initials and the date we became BF and GF. It also came with a tag, which I also engraved, with a phrase that was meaningful for both of us. I feel like it doesn’t get easier but We try to make the best of it and I try to be as supporter as I can. Also, if you have any idea how to mail something to them that would be awesome. I have his address I just need no know weather I need to write his unit even if He’s not in it at the time or not on the custom form. Thank you and I hope that helps!
Chris says:
Make sure you try to have some contact with the base he was last deployed at or go ask a recruiting center they should give you more info. Great gift btw
Kayla says:
well, this is my first deployment with my boyfriend & the last. he deploys on dec.12th. he is a marine & stationed in camp Lejeune nc. I’ve known him for 3yrs & have been with him for almost 2yrs. this is his 2nd deployment. the thing thats killing me the most is we don’t know where hes going, & we can only write each other. there is so much going on in this world today. his MOS is artillery, & he is amazing at what he does! the marines don’t want him to leave. I’m on here to get support & to give it as well. it’s nice to know I’m not the only one going through something like this.
Laura says:
I have a feeling my fiancé and your boyfriend are on the same deployment…this is our second one together and it’s much harder than the first because he’s on a boat this time w. basically no communication & I feel like I resent him / tend to want to tell him all that he is doing wrong when we do get to talk! it’s frustrating for me as a person because im not like that. I know I should cherish the times we do get to speak but I feel like the negativity is like word vomit.
Susanna Arias says:
Hi guys I’ve known my boyfriend for 3 years were about to make 2 years together. Hes in the navy. He just went on his first deployment yesterday December 11, he never really told me when he’d be back he said he only knew it was from 7-9 months.. Are they allowed to communicate via email or something while on the ship? I’m trying so hard to think positive but I’m so scared that he never comes back to me if that makes any sense? I just miss him already. I feel like I really don’t know anything. He always would reassure me that he loves me and that I don’t ever have to worry about him not coming back to me.
Chris says:
Maybe he isn’t allowed to use mail or anything at the moment, but always make sure to write him something for him to read. No matter if you send them all at once when you get to have communication with him. Make sure you remind him that you’ll always be there and that everything will be over soon and he will come back soon to some delicious plate/dish you guys had when you went out or his favorite. There isn’t really anything worse than a first deployment.
AmandaRN says:
My husband is on a deployment right now, and I have just found out about another “possible” one that could occur a couple months after he returns from this one.. I would have to say that my second has been much worse (so far, almost 1/3 completed now) than the first deployment.. Before the first, I was completely naive, and the military had created an optimistic picture in our minds of how things would be. No amount of “Deployment Preparation” sessions could prepare me for what would happen, it was horrendous. That was two years ago, and I am still suffering with the effects of being alone (no kids, no family near) for 9 months while he was away. The goodbye for this current deployment had a bonus fear of “not this again”, plus the anxiety of him leaving. Sorry if I sound miserable, but this is harder than I thought it would be when I said I didn’t mind being a military wife. Now I feel so trapped, and I feel like he is too busy to even have time to miss me (though he says he does). I try to keep busy but besides working, there isn’t a whole lot to do where I live. Any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated.. 🙁
Megan Gribbon says:
Amanda, I understand how you feel. My boyfriend is also deployed and working long days where as I have lots of down time at my job. If course that leaves me with idle time where all I can do is think about him. I’ve cried just about every day now. Our communication has become different. I know he’s busy but I still find it hard to not hear from him. This is definitely not easy. There are good days and there are bad days. The best advice I can give is try to go outside, get some fresh air and do something active. Being outside helps me. I’m always open for chatting if you would like. Smile,
karen morales says:
This post of so insightful, thank you 🙂 my bf is currently deployed to Bahrain. We have been good friends for three years (when he first joined) and as deployment drew closer we decided to take the next step. With that being said it’s been hard and very challenging. This post really helped me gain some perspective. Although this is his first deployment and our first together , my family has a history in the military and I’ve delt with multiple deployments. However I have learned that its never really the same until you have a direct relationship with the person. Well thanks for reading 🙂 hope to hear from someone soon
char21 says:
Well my boyfriend is in basic at fort benning he is in the army reserves for infantry well anyway I got my 6th letter from him saying that when he gets done with basic he is going to volunteer to be deployed So he can fight Isis. I understand he wants to do what is right but what about me I wish we could talk about it but I’m still in high school and I have to focus on what I need and want while he does what he does it wouldn’t be right if I told him not to volunteer but he’s gonna miss a lot I may even miss my senior prom if hes gone. I just wish he knew this affects me to..
carla says:
hey Char21 well i’m actually a military wife going on 3 years now n known my husband for 6 yrs and all i have to say is talk to your boyfriend about how you feel bc if you dont tell him u might regret it. Tell him how you feel and how it affects you and what you dont want him to miss out on. you can also ask him if he can volunteer later when you’ve graduated high school. Dont make it sound like your forcing him to do what you want you just want him to think his plan over and spend more time with you but ultimately it will be his choice but its better to tell him how you feel then keep quite. Hope this helps
malika says:
Hey, my boyfriend is also at fort benning . Our bfs might just be buddies. I miss him so much. Are u going to family day and graduation? Maybe we can be friends.
Andrea A says:
Hey, I been with my bf for 8 months, I live in ct, and he lives in VA, he is on the Navy, and he is going to his last deployment to baharain as well. I’m freak out, idk what to do with myself. … even though we been dealing with the distance we always see each other 2 or 3 times per month. We are planning to marry, and I’m going to Bahrain to see him in a few months. .. how are you doing with your situation. .. idk what do do.. just pray and wait to see him….
Carrie says:
Thank you Mike/Dawson! I have been having most of those exact issues with my deployed Marine and I kind of figured that was what is going on with him (need to focus, etc), but it makes me feel better to know it isn’t me and it really is just the situation. I still struggle with the lack of and/or content of communication. But reminding myself of what you said will be helpful
BrittL says:
Reading all of this is such a huge weight igg my shoulders. I’ve been with my marine boyfriend on and off for 10 years and I recently moved across country to live with him. He ended up getting placed in a job that requires a lot of travel and has been gone for 6 weeks so far for training and we have just hit the “getting distant” point. His job is huge and very stressful and I have been going crazy with the on and off communication so I’m happy to know that others experience the “distant” boyfriend/husband while stressed.
katie says:
My boyfriend is leaveing next month and he told me he had to get rid of his facebook he doesnt have to but he did because he doesnt want to get in trouble for me saying i miss my marine so much and people asking why and where is he does any of yall boyfriends or etc do tht he only deactived it
Katelyn Rose says:
My boyfriend is leaveing next month and he told me he had to get rid of
his facebook he doesnt have to but he did because he doesnt want to get
in trouble for me saying i miss my marine so much and people asking why
and where is he does any of yall boyfriends or etc do tht he only
deactived it
chicken and rice says:
I fell for a marine. we went on a couple of dates, and he took me to his base, where I fell for him even more. I slept over and we watched movies, drank, and listen to music till we fell asleep. I not only got emotionally but physically attached to him, as if I did not want to let him go. Haha. But sadly he had to leave for his deployment for 6 months, and I felt as if we did not have enough time together. The last time I talked to him, it felt natural, the way we always talked. And I suppose being Deployed gets your mind off of everything. at least He’s still communicating with me. So i have hope. can i get any insite, or advice? Thanks 🙂
ZC says:
Blah!!! I’m in the same boat 😕
debbie says:
Hi, I only met this army guy online, we chat about being toghter, he’s on his last month of a 2yr contract to lybia..he told me I can register as his fiancé, so we can have privillages as phone an cam calls..I also have to pay a registration fee of $280….which bugs me…can you do this or is it true…need help plz
christine says:
Hi debbie i have the same thing as you mind if we email eachother regarding this it also bugs me that i have to pay hos relieving papers coz he cant touch his account while on a mission and hes there now for 5mos. In west africa hes a marine and i juat wanna know if that is legit ive been searching online about payong such a form i couldnt find any..i dont wanna be scammed and it has to be out there if it is for others too.. my email is christine.anunciaci@gmail.com he also cud skype but that mins i canot see him but he can see me and he calls me on viber but i dunno sims shady to me..
TheHopeLine says:
Hi Debbie,
Thank you for reaching out and asking this question. I believe others that see this will be helped too. I’m interested in seeing what others say as well. Since you met him online I would say this is not legitimate. If there was a fee, which I doubt, he should be paying it anyway if he truly cares for you. We have a military resource that would be a great place to contact to see if they have heard of this going on with military relationships. Here is a link to their contact us page on their website. http://couragebeyond.org/contact-us/ You can email or call them with your questions.
christine says:
Hi i have the same thing here i met this guy who ses who he is his a usmc he has his facbook and alot of pics and he told me that if we wanted to meet that it would require me to lie a little to his commanding offcer so i could request a relieve form or a leave if it was a family matter and i was hes wife to be .. i just want to know if that is legit i min he ddint say how much he just said it was possible and i would wanna know if it is if hes legit and he does exist or is it a scam thanks..
BenL says:
Hi guys, currently I am deployed and have realized that I have become distant to my girlfriend. We have had one month together before I left. The first 3 were great. I was in a position to where I wasn’t heavily affected or affecting my work progress. I have changed crews and things took a nose dive right after. I barely get any sleep and I am stressed all the time but she still wants me to do all the things I did before.
Carly says:
Hey, I am new to this and just saw this. Hopefully my response isn’t coming too late. Have things picked up between the two of you? My fiancé pulled away a lot before he left, and sometimes our conversations don’t feel very connected, like maybe we aren’t quite on the same page. It makes me sad, because I want to feel like things are still the way they were before he left. I understand that he needs a different mindset during his deployment. Have you and your gf discussed this?? She might be trying to be supportive, but be struggling to cope at the same time. Sometimes I think I come out as a little passive aggressive towards my guy without meaning to. Maybe her stress is manifesting in that way. Hope it is getting better!
ZC says:
Ive been seeing this wonderful man in the national gaurd since december. He got deployed to kuwait 6/3 and may be gone up to 12 months. Our time together has always been amazing and so it shocked me when he pulled away after he got his orders. He explained that he didn’t want to hurt me and so he backed off a little, then came back full force. Long story short….Idk what to expect in terms of communication. He promised he would knock my down down once he came back…i just havent heard from him. Hes infantry/artillery. I know his job is intense but have no idea what to make of it. A little guidance would be wonderful. Thanks.
Chelsea 123 says:
Ok so im new to yhis but im glad its here. So this is my issue my bf of almost 2yrs is a marine and is on deployment in japan and weve gota stry like we went to school with each othr since grade schoolMilitary relationships are special. if they make it through
the training and first deployment they can make it through anything.and we just reconnected last year and so now hs been gone for 6mnths and b4 he left everything was ok and we talked and saw. Each other all thw time and now i may get to tlk to him once or twice a month and ita always just a hey and i love and miss u babe when we do tlk so thts pretty much all he can say and idk if he still feels the same about me as he did b4 he left and i trust him and i knw of how hard it is to deal with a military spouse and i support him all the way so does anybody have any thing to say cnn or help me with ?
Kelsi says:
This may be a stupid question, but does anyone know how I could potentially get a letter to my soldier even though I do not have an address? I know which country he is in and I know what his position is and all that but he himself didn’t know what the location would be and I never got the chance to give him my address. I have doubts that it all is possible but I guess I was hoping there is a general address I could send it to that would sort it out and get it to him. This is my first time dating a military man and I don’t know how or what to expect with his deployment but I’m sure trying to make it work 🙂 If anyone knows anything, please let me know. Thanks
Carly says:
So my fiancé just left for six weeks of training before his deployment. He will be gone for at least six months but probably eight. His family is great and very supportive. He has deployed three times before, but this is my first time dealing with it. His sisters finance (my finances best friend) has been deployed before and just left again. She is a good support system, but she lives almost an hour away and isn’t big on responding to texts/calls. I am hoping to have a bigger support system besides just her. I didn’t realize how much I would miss the affection in our relationship (not even in a sexual way, just in a “hey, I’m here for you” type of way). We try and talk as much as we can but I’m really missing him lately. I know that once fall semester (I am in college) starts again I will be busier and have other things to focus on…but right now I feel like a stressed out sitting duck. Would anyone be willing to be in a support group with me? We can email or text one another and help support each other during their deployments.
Gina Marige Turan says:
hi Carly i would not mind starting a group with you so we could discuss about this, because my boyfriend of 3 years just told me today that he is going to be deployed and i got very emtional. i am so used to him being here with me. i go to college and work but that still does not get my boyfriend off my mind. i would like to talk with an other woman going though the same issues that i am going though.
hope everything is going ok with you.
Karla says:
My boyfriend JUST deployed. Weve been together for 6 months, we live together, and i honestly love him so much. Ive never dated an army guy, so this experience with him deploying is new to me. He left this morning and i dont know what to do. Im so sad, and i dont know how im going to get through this whole year that hes gone. He promised that he’ll msg me and write to me when ever he could, and thats sort of what im expecting, but im sure it wont always be possible. I just wish he hadnt left, and i know there is nothing i can do about this, but i would really appreciate some words of wisdom. Something that will keep me going, and keep me strong both for him and myself
Julie Miller says:
Hi Karla! I know it’s been a year and I was wondering how everything went. I hope all I see well. This whole military thing is new to me too. Mine is leaving in just over a week and I’m dying inside right now.
TheHopeLine says:
Hi Karla, We want you to know you are not alone. We have talked to other military wives and girlfriends, like you, and we have some great resources for that can help you through this year while your boyfriend is deployed. Chat with a HopeCoach anytime day or night to help you through this challenging time. http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp
Heidi says:
Hi I have been getting to know a guy for three months going on four we found each other on a dating website. He is air force we have attempted to meet however things came up for both of us. Now he is getting more distant since in two months he is to be deployed. I don’t know if at this point, I should wait for him.
Aqua says:
Hi everyone,
I met this guy on the dating website.. he is in the army as a paramedic.. He is deployed to Afghanistan now. We have been chatting for a month and we were so excited to meet as he should be back any time now.. We spoke on skype,, he showed me his army stuff and told me everything he does in there.. We were so happy, I felt for him so much as it just felt like we have so much in common.. Last time we spoke was 2 weeks ago.. and everything was perfect.. we were planning to do so much stuff together when we meet.. And he is offline since then.. 🙁 I have never been in this situation and I am just so scared.. first week I couldn’t sleep properly.. I am worried that something happened.. I keep checking the news.. I just don’t know what to think anymore… I miss his face and his voice so much.. just want him to be ok..
Aqua says:
Hi everyone,
I met this guy on the dating website.. he is in the army as a paramedic.. He is deployed to Afghanistan now. We have been chatting for a month and we were so excited to meet as he should be back any time now.. We spoke on skype,, he showed me his army stuff and told me everything he does in there.. We were so happy, I felt for him so much as it just felt like we have so much in common.. Last time we spoke was 2 weeks ago.. and everything was perfect.. we were planning to do so much stuff together when we meet.. And he is offline since then.. 🙁 I have never been in this situation and I am just so scared.. first week I couldn’t sleep properly.. I am worried that something happened.. I keep checking the news.. I just don’t know what to think anymore… I miss his face and his voice so much.. just want him to be ok..
sharon mason says:
I have a boyfriend in the military. He is stationed in Syria we txt at times he suppose to come home the 5of sept I’m kind of weary he wnt show up at the airport. He says he will b there I hope so but for me its the not knowing what hrs going. Through
miaka says:
hi this post really give me an idea on how to cope up and able to understand my bf and support him on his deployment, though we got used to being far from each other, we’ve been together for 2 years now and though our relationship is long distance from the start and we only spent a month long every year to be physically together, communication (text, video call, voice call) is mostly a huge part on how we survive the distance, i know for sure that were serious about this relationship & committed to taking it to a long term plan. However my bf just recently got deployed in middle east and im afraid that due to lack of communication things might change. I know the time of us talking will change and he will be preoccupied most of the time, I hope this will only help us to grow as an individual and be stronger as a couple. Im really keeping my faith high and trust him ïÂÅ
Ela says:
Hello Miaka you are such a strong woman. Really so strong. Keep it like this. This man loves you and believe life where he is isn’t that easy and simple. Truly it is not nice. Support him in a nice way. Never be to hard on him. They have been trained to stay strong but really under the uniform they are as we are and feel the same or maybe even deeper. We have so many things we can do or go to. For them is all the same everyday.
So be strong and write back if you like. Ela
Tianna says:
Hi, I am actually going through something kind of similar. I met my guy about three weeks ago. I think things are getting pretty serious considering he mentioned that he thought his mom would like me. He recently just left due to being deployed. I know he is most likely out in the field. I guess you could say I am having the same questions running through my head. I’m wondering if he is still going to want to talk to me when he gets back or will it be to different? He did ask for my number and other ways of communication to stay in touch. Is this simply overthinking?
Ela says:
Hello, I would love to be in contact with someone who’s boyfriend, husband, loved one is on a mission – deployment in Middle East. I fell in love with this man. He is deployed soldier. I was going through a lot of emotions while we met. My mum was diagnosed with cancer. He was very supportive and we started our romance then. Online romance. It was very uplifting receiving his emails and being able to write everything I had on my mind at the time. I noticed now after 5 months his emails are not as frequent as they used to be. He is still keeping in touch but giving excuses about not being able to write because of lack of free time. If there is anyone there/here who wants to write with me and express their similar feeling I would be so happy.
Best wishes – Ela
Beatrice Hernandez says:
Hi Ela
My name is Bea and my fiance is on deployment, he is in Afghanistan. Now as far as your man…. May I shed a little light on some of what he’s going through? I guess I can remark as best I can because my SFC fiance has excellent communication skills. Think and place yourself for 1 minute of what he is going through….. See people grow into who they are on a daily bases. He’s going through changes, you are going through them as well. But you are home in your country…. They are in a foreign country where pretty much not very liked. So what I’m saying is be patient, self preservation is the first law of nature. Meaning he is trying to survive in a place where all he really has is the dedication to this countries freedom, soilder next to him. If you believe in the strength of his love be patient. He’s not out there having a party,it’s a survival of the fittest zone. And best believe if he is still writting you, even if it’s not as much, he’s alive and ok. That right there should be the most important. I know my fiance was writing such beautiful love notes to me as well in the beginnig they are less now, and I understand he was establishing where we stand and how strong our love is…. Now he knows. And it’s less love notes on his part, but I’m ok. Because I’m the one taking the stage and speaking to him. I really keep it as positive as possible for him. He doesn’t need added stress…… I wake up to my loved ones. He wakes up with a very big responsibility to bring his fellow soilders home. So I do my best to keep him strong and tell him how much I love him……try it Ela make it about him I hope this helps you a little bit….. Sincerly Bea
Ela says:
Hi Amanda, how are you? I really love your story and I love all the stories here really. I am in the same shoes and feel how you feel. Like you I try to be strong and positive because this is what he wants from you and this is what my man wants from me. I also have no children anyone to care for or hold. There are many things you can do and definitely you can write to me any time you like. Ela
Ela says:
Hi Aqua, how are you. Has he contacted you since your last email here?
This is so normal not being in touch for 2 weeks. Sometimes it takes longer. Drop him a line saying you are worried. Not to strong and hard. He will eventually get it. Everything will just fine believe me. Write back if you like. Ela
osiris esparza says:
I am currently in the situation where my boyfriend is on base. We met two years ago and we started something I guess a flame started we talked for a bit while he was in the army his first year. Then out of nowhere we just lost contact. We saw each other this year again and wow was it a burst of emotions for me. When I saw him he had a girlfriend and well things started to happen between me and him and basically he broke up with his girlfriend we spent another two days together and well we talked about starting a relationship but I had to leave back home and he said he didnt want to ask me through the phone . We didn’t know what to do he asked me I said yes and then he said once he saw me again he would ask me personally. So he had to take a bus back to base and we didn’t know it had a stop at Dallas! He called me and told me I had to meet him at the bus station! I met him downtown and we went to a park and sat there talked and talked about our future plans . He then pulled me in for a kiss and then asked me if I officially wanted to be his girlfriend. He said he wanted to see my expression and see if it was sincere and explained to me it was hard and it was going to be a big adjustment. I told him I didn’t care and I was ready for it as long as he still wanted me through it all. The rest is history. I haven’t seem him in what it feels like forever . It’s been two months since that day and at first I thought “this isn’t that bad you can handle it , dont let it get to you” after the first month I was like “okay this shit sucks I hate being apart from him” . The only thing that was helping me through it was his nightly phone calls. The phone calls are now becoming less and less . I get texts in the morning when he wakes up a good morning text thats what im holding on to. Sometimes Ifeel like he’s just drifting away and he doesn’t feel the same way about me. I am going to El Paso this weekend coming up to visit him it was his idea . I am excited yet soo worried about it . I know this doesn’t compare to most of you ladies stories and you all have been farther away but any advice would be great.
Thank you so much.
Janine says:
Hey Ela, our situation is kind of similar. I met a Canadian guy who is in the forces while he was doing some training at a company i was working for at the time. We connected straight away, and had a really nice time together before he left Europe to go back to Canada. We kept in touch using email. At the beginning, it was pretty much constant emailing, all day, everyday for about 3 months, and then the emails started to get less and less. He would tell me it was because he didn’t have much time, and was busy because of work. The messages that he would send me were still the same though, saying that he missed me, and couldn’t wait until we saw each other again, so i wasn’t worried. I haven’t heard from him since the end of November last year, and after a few weeks, i thought he’s probably not interested any more. It wasn’t until a work colleague who had visited Canada in October to train the unit of the guy i was emailing told me that they had been sent to the middle east. I was really confused to as why he hadn’t told me he was going away. Now i’m just waiting for him to get in contact with me, even if i have no idea how long he’s gone away for. Sometimes i get really sad and feel totally hopeless. Other days, i just focus on how happy i’ll be when he gets in contact, and we can finally see each other again.
April says:
I was dating my guy for about 5-6 months before he got accepted in the Australian Air Force. He’ll be in training for almost 18 months and he didn’t want to go down with a commitment. He’s been hurt by LDR in the past and since communication on base is horrible he didn’t think we could last the distance. I love this guy. I love him so much and I would support him until the end because I am so proud of him taking the first steps to achieve his dreams. And everything just sucks because we would talk about having this future together and we had so many plans before all this. He knows I want to start again when he (hopefully) gets stationed close to home. Yet I worry about him. Not because of the girls there on base – if he meets someone what can I do? We are technically broken up. – but I worry because he’s cut off so many ties back home to those who will support him. Basically everyone but his best friend and his family. I don’t want him to do this. Everyone I talk to said that this is a horrible idea. Yet I can’t do anything to change his mind. Hopefully he’ll reply to my messages and maybe send a letter or an email once in awhile. I don’t know. I kind of feel stupid. Like I shouldn’t be holding on to him. He doesn’t want me to just hold on for that long. But I do love him and I think he’s worth it. I just hope he wants to try again with me…
Gina Marige Turan says:
hello to everyone out there!! i need some adovice. I been dating my boyfriend of 3 years and know we live together for about 1 year. Once i met him Jerry is his name he told me he was in the Army and at that time i was ok with it. But know beinging with him and leaving with him i thought he would want to get out of the army and spend time with me but wrong. He just told me today that he is going to be deployed and i do not like this idea. I am scared that i would lose him or he well find someone else. I am 28 years old and my boyfriend is 43. I would like to know what should i do wait for him or move on with my life. I would appricate a womans addivce. Thank you
TheHopeLine® says:
Thanks for reaching out to encourage each other. If you contact us at TheHopeLine we can connect you with some support groups. Chat with us anytime 24/7. https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/
Kayla V. says:
Hello,
I am so nervous about my boyfriend deploying. He’s deploying in October to the Middle East as a rifleman in the Marine Corps. Watching the news lately has really scared me because of the recent attacks on Marines and the bases there. Sometimes with the way he talks about deployment and how excited he is because the unit that just recently returned earned combat action ribbons. I am so scared that he won’t come home the same or that he won’t come out at all. I love him so much and I don’t want anything to happen to him. I am leaving for Navy Recruit Training at the end of summer and I am scared that I won’t graduate in time to be able to see him off on his deployment date. And I know that I won’t be able to contact him as much as I can because I will be busy during training, but I want to be there for him whenever he needs it because he has always been there for me when I’ve needed him. Sorry about writing a book, but none of my friends understand what I am so worried, scared, and concerned about because none of them have been in a situation nearly similar to ours. Thank you for listening 😀
TheHopeLine® says:
You are really going through a lot and it is understandable that you are feeling nervous for your boyfriend. Thank you both for serving our country. We really appreciate your sacrifice, especially how hard it is on a relationship. Our chat lines are open 24/7 for you. We are here for you and we care about what you are going through. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Taia Young says:
I empathize with your situation. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.
I’m struggling with my boyfriend being on deployment too but I am home safe and sound and available to support him. I’m thankful for that. We all do what we can to support and love our soldiers the best we can.
We are almost 3 months into an 11 month deployment. The first 2 he messaged daily if not twice a day but recently he was reassigned to a combat zone and has no connectivity so I haven’t heard a word since April 10 at 4:40 am when he called to say he was wheels up in half an hour.
It’s really difficult not hearing or knowing if I will hear from him before his deployment ends in December. I write a bit to him most days and send it at weeks end.
But being on a 3 week delay is strange too
Taia Young says:
Hello there
My boyfriend is 3 months into an 11 month deployment. And contact has stopped due to a reassignment to a combat zone
My advice is this…if you love him and choose to be with him you’ve got to find your strength and be a support to him. There is nothing you can do besides support and care for him that will prevent him meeting someone else. But if you’re going to stay with this man while he is deployed you’ve got to stop worrying or you’ll drive yourself crazy. The what ifs will destroy you and your relationship if you can’t stay strong and confident in your relationship. Doubts are normal but see them for what they are…insecurities natural and simple. I hope this helps a little. None of this is easy but you’ll do fine whichever path you choose
Taia Young says:
That is tough! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Deployments are hard on all involved. I’m sure your boyfriend is just trying to make things easier on you both but I’m sure it isn’t easier for you being in love and wanting to be supportive.
You’ve just got to do things that make you happy and live your life. He very well may realize during this time away that you’re who he wants and come back to you. And if you’ve been living a happy and full life while he is gone you’ll be ready and if he doesn’t come back to you, you won’t have spent all this time pining away for him and not making yourself happy.
It’s hard to do this…trust me I’ve been through it…but it is worth it. And if he’s career military like mine is, he will be deployed again and you’ll know how to make it through.
Much love woman! Good luck
Taia Young says:
This is so true
I’m in a similar situation and I loved reading this response
Sunshine says:
Hey everybody!
I’m very glad I found this page &I’m feeling every single one of y’all.
I’m a 28 yrs old German woman dating a guy in the army special forces for about two month and he just went to a deployment to Afghanistan today.ive never met such a caring loving man as he is… And I had very bad experiences in my past relationships so this one is really a intense one for me.
This is my first time dating a guy in the army and since I am German I am not very familiar with the jobs and all of the military things.
He’s been very distant last night when he came to see me before he had to go, but I know that he was probably just in his deployment mood.
Since this is the first time for me it’s actually really harder than I thought it would be… Now I am used to him calling and texting me every day and I know this won’t happen now anymore.
I just really hope I can find somebody on here to talk to since friends and family doesn’t really understand what I am and will be going through.
Sunshine says:
Hey everybody,
I’m dating a soldier for two month now which just deployed today… As I am a German woman, I don’t have really any kind of clue about y’all military jobs and this is completely new for me.
I had bad experiences in past relationships and this man is really a dream came through.
Since this is so new to me I am really just looking for people in similar situations as my friends don’t really understand how I feel.
Erika Brady says:
hi my name is Erika and I need advice my bf I been dating for 4 months now and he got deploved for 6 months and I find out he wants to b single for now and that he will see how things will go when he comes back to decide if he wants to b with me do yall think I should wait and see and do yall think he will wanna be with me again
Sunshine says:
No don’t wait for him ! Go ahead and live your life!
Hannah says:
I am really glad that I found this post because I have been going crazy for the past couple of days(10 to be exact)! First off I was in the Air Force from 08-12 and o never deployed at all. I was married and my ex husband was in the army and he was gone for a whole year. It wasn’t bad at all I talked to him everyday. So my boyfriend and I met two weeks before he left for his deployment. We met from an online dating site and only got to FaceTime and see each other twice. He left and I didn’t hear from him for a whole week. I was totally freaking out. He contacted me and we were able to talk everyday. Send videos and just text it was ok. He is 9 hours ahead of me. One day it just all stopped. I got really worried that I said something to upset him and that he was mad. 10 days go by and I haven’t heard from him. I was so tempted to call the Red Cross and check on him. I decided to calm down and just keep praying for him. I think he’s ok just on a mission or unable to communicate at this point. He really cares about me and I care about him too. I know what military life is like but I guess I’ve been out for so long I might have forgotten what it has been like. I just now recently moved away and quit my job on an army base. So I guess I am a real civilian again. This post and all these comments have really helped me to calm down and stop worrying. He will be home in about 5 months and I can’t wait to run to him I think about it everyday
Evelyn Wanogho says:
Hello, reading your post made me calm. My girl and I met online too we chatted for months and labelled our relationship and few weeks deployment came, I cried cause my heart hurts so much and when she left she made sure we talked daily and she assured me nothing will change and all was well but it’s been ten days today I haven’t heard from her I sent a lot of mails and offline messages but she hasn’t read them, though she told me something like this may happen but mother really prepared me for it, I can’t sleep I can’t eat or function properly and to make matters unbearable I font have the address I can use to send her mails or care packages, all I do now is pray pray pray that I hear from her soon. Again thanks for posting at least now I know I am not alone in this
Hannah says:
Hello,
I dated a guy who was special forces before and it was hard because we couldn’t talk about his job at all. He went on a training mission and told me he would be going dark. When he came back home days later he told me he was going on deployment in a couple of weeks. I used to be in the Air Force , I worked with computers and never deployed before. I wish these deployments would end or be for a shorter period of time. God bless you and yours!
Sunshine says:
Thanks for your answer 😊 We chose to end it.
Nicole says:
Hi Everyone,
I am in a relationship with a man who his spending the next six months in Afghanistan. He is Army special forces, and this is our first deployment as a couple, but his fourth deployment. It is also his last deployment, as he will be retiring following this trip. He has been very open with me about the fact that this will be hard, but we are a strong couple, and not getting through this was never even mentioned as an option.
I am very sad, because I hate that we are separated, and I worry about his safety. However, I have been keeping myself busy with ways to cope and it is helping. Some of the things I did are:
(1) I wrote him thirty letters to take with him, made myself a copy of each, and I open one a day also so I remember what I wrote to him.
(2) I started a journal. It is a great place to vent and talk about/work through my fears.
(3) I made an awesome Deployment countdown poster and I am crossing off the days.
(4) I made a list of things I want to do while he is gone.
(5) I am planning/researching the trip we want to take when he gets home
(6) I am keeping a mason jar and popsicle sticks, and every time I think of something I want us to do together, I write it on a popsicle stick and pop it into the jar.
(7) I plan out care packages with themes, and I will send them over the course of the upcoming months
Soooooo, I guess I am hoping this will help those of you who are struggling like me. This sucks, but six or seven months of sadness is a small price to pay for a lifetime of wonderful.
Strength to all!
TheHopeLine® says:
Thank you so much for sharing your ideas here! These are really helpful and super creative, too. Would you mind if we add your ideas to the blog? Thanks again!
Nicole says:
I don’t mind at all! Please share!
Megan Gribbon says:
Hi all. My friend gave me this page in hopes of connecting with people that are going through similar struggles of deployments. I met my boyfriend just before he left. We knew each other for a month before he deployed. We are very hopeful and committed to keep in touch while he’s deployed. With that being said, I’ve noticed that he sweetness and loving demeanor continues to diminish the longer her is on deployment. I can only imagine the stresses he goes through. But at the same time, this is a hardship for me as well. I can tell the stress is rising for both of us. Communication is spotty. I try not to take it personally but it is very hard for me to do. I don’t want to stress him out even more..but I wish he could just give me a little bit more when we do talk. A little more affection, kind words etc. I’m trying to be understanding but this is really taking a toll on me. I’ve never dated anyone in the military, let alone experience a deployment with a boyfriend. Is this normal? I find myself sad and sometimes cry because it’s just plain hard. Help. Does anyone have ANY advice??? I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread.
Megan
Catherine says:
Hi Megan,
I’m going through the exact issue right now, and also met my boyfriend about a month or two before he left. He can still talk to me but the difference in time zones makes it really hard and when we do, it isn’t the same as it used to be. I’m not sure how to take it either. I confronted him with my feelings recently and he said he was sorry and that he’s tired and busy a lot, but I can’t help but question his feelings still. That was very hard for me to ask him about because like you i didnt want to stress him out more but we have needs too.. dont forget that. communication is important and if you really arent happy and are finding it debilitating its best you let him know.
Hope all is well
Catherine
Ebony says:
What an amazing read. It’s so nice to find somewhere to talk about this kind of stuff. I’ve been with my boyfriend on and off 3 years. This is his first deployment, and the first of us actually being a couple. We’ve had our ups and downs on the lead up to this mammoth task, we’ve both been very anxious and at some points had cold feet about being away from eachother for so long. To help him out I’ve put together a video of all of our memories and personal jokes, with a couple of videos of me talking in there aswell in the hope that it will give him something to refer to and be able to hear my voice or whatever when he wont be able to contact me. While I think I understand what lies ahead, I’m obviously very nervous for him, yet still very proud. I’ve made a plan for what I’m going to do during his deployment and I’m looking at a couple of holidays we can book for when he comes home. It’s so nice to find somewhere to talk about this, because while I want to be strong for my man, and make sure there’s nothing here to worry about so he can stay focused, I still have worries for us of course, although I’d never show him that. He leaves in 4 days so im trying to spend as much time as I can with him in between all of the packing and sorting out work stuff. Here’s to hoping I can continue to vent my worries here, be independent for the next 7 month and keep him focused for the duration. I’d do anything to help him, amazing to find a group of women going through the same thing and sharing experience X
maray says:
Maray,
I would love some advice. I meet a army Sergeant on line on facebook” I be friend him. He accepted my request. We talk for about three months now. He recently asked me to send a care package for father’s. Which, I did. With his requested items. We chatted everyday. At a specific time. We r deeply connected and we are both falling for on another. Recently tho” suspicion has arrived! He’s asked me to send him a lot of money to top up his cell phone to talk to me? Red flag!-, I thought they receive free phone calls? The internet is accessible to his accounts!! But yet! He’s asking me to send money for an emergency leave ,he been granted? And he said he’s ready to retire his career! To be with me? He has set in motion his process to Germany to sign his papers? And there air force won’t respond to his calls,for a ride?? R.F.#2- I know that if they take a personal leave before there exit time they have to pay. But why would he ask me to send him money to pay for a ticket to get him home fast to see me,before I leave?? Am I being period a? Or is he truly in need of my help to get home?
R.F.#3-he won’t release his APO address, or his Military. MiL- address??? I’m scared I fell I befriended and fallen in love with a scammer? Please help me to understand what’s happening?
TheHopeLine® says:
Trust your instinct. Those are some very serious red flags. If you want to talk about it further we are here for you 24/7 on chat – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Hein says:
Hi Maray, This was like reading about my relationship. since the similarity, it seems like we both have fallen for a scammer =(
Erin says:
hi everyone:)
so my boyfriend just told me that he received his deployment orders…he is in the air force and will b leaving for Korea in February.
No one in my family is military nor have any of them had a relationship with anyone in the armed forces..i dont know how to process and handle my fears and other feelings.
someone please help 🙂
Victoria says:
Hi, I’m really happy I’ve found a forum like this. My boyfriend is currently serving his second term in the army and we’re already in a long distance relationship for about eight months. I’m not too familiar with how the army works even though my sister was married to a soldier. My boyfriend was supposed to be away for a couple months training but it’s been four months now and I haven’t heard from him still. I’ve been hearing news from his mom via social media.
I feel kind of left out of the loop considering that I’m just his girlfriend and am abroad. I hadn’t had a chance to discuss what would happen if he goes away longer than a couple months. I’ve been leaving him private short messages on social media as I have no way to send a care package even though I really wish I could. I don’t even have a count down to know when he’s coming back. I understand he is going through a lot right now so I’m being super patient and understanding. But it’s difficult when I’m not in the environment and not having the support of other women or people who have been through this.
What else can make it a little easier to get through this? Also would it be impossible for them to call or contact me from abroad? Any advice would be really helpful, thanks.
Evelyn Wanogho says:
Hello, I am in the same situation as you, this is our first deployment, the first few months we we’re always chatting on social media and she Always makes me happy and not to worry and all of a sudden it’s over a week now I haven’t heard from her sent a lot of offline messages but they still haven’t delivered, am so worried scared, and I cry myself every night don’t know what to do or how to make it easier, I don’t even have her address to send care packages. I never ever thought it would be so hard
Julie Miller says:
My boyfriend of 6 months just got orders for deployment to an undisclosed area for an undisclosed amount of time. I am dreading this since I didn’t grow up military and I have no experience. He is SF and that scares the crap out of me when I see so many SF Green Berets dying. I hate that I won’t be able to call and I won’t have an address to write him. I’ve tried reading all the information I can about what to expect and how to get through the deployment. All I want to do right now is cry.
Evelyn Wanogho says:
Well they say some times crying helps, I still havent heard from her yet, I am praying every minute of the day that she is ok and doing fine, since that’s all I can do. I cant call or send care packages but I still send emails and offline messages hoping that one day when she can she will see it and I am holding on strong and patiently even though it sucks my love for her is stronger than any troubles
Sara says:
I meet a.sergeant in the.military he told. me he was going to another state to do training he called.me.Friday and said got.30 seconds to talk. Then he said call u when I can. Today he called but I guess he didn’t realize it. I texted him yesterday and no response I know he busy and said he call. when he can. Should I let him. call me
Melissa Malone says:
Hi,
Im in the same situation and my boyfriend of 3 months was deployed a few days ago. He is alos in special forces and seemed so different and distant before he left which made things harder because as a girl I take everything so personally!
May I ask how you are coping after 3 months? Im struggling atm 🙁
Thanks
Mel
Julie Miller says:
Hi Mel,
I’m wondering how you are doing after 4 months. My boyfriend is also SF and he leaves the Monday after thanksgiving. We are at Fort Campbell. This will be his 7th deployment but my first with him. I’m dying wishing he didn’t have to go.
Millinavwag says:
As a military girlfriend two months through a deployment this is so comforting to read, I remember reading it pre deployment and I think I made notes of it somewhere, however I did lose them… 😂
Reading this article back really solidifies how myself and my other half are handling this deployment. I’m using the time he’s away to work hard at work and get some family time in with my own family, while not forgetting to keep in touch with him whenever and wherever we can. I leave the texting and calling up to him because at the end of the day my life is nothing compared to his at the moment, but in between the contact I get I make sure I’m keeping busy and have started countdowns, lists and and a journal which I’ve found is really helping with what I would normally vent to him. We’ve decided to leave all of our stories of our time apart to the side for when he gets back. Whenever I do hear from him I’m constantly reassuring him I’m ok, that I love him and that everything at home is as is.
Again so glad I found this post again, very grounding to read so far into deployment and finally on the home run!
Much love and respect to all military families and service men and women
X
Kwintessential says:
This is the first time for me dealing with this. We have been seeing each other for about six months and now he is leaving for 9 months. The last few days he has been distant, wanting to be alone, etc.
Brooklyn says:
Hi my name is brooklyn, my boyfriend just left for boot camp a week ago and I’m struggling mentally everyday about him changing when he gets back and how to deal with it. I believe your boyfriend has been gone for 2 months now and maybe home now but I justwanted to ask how has it went with you 2 and were the letters normal and reassuring to you and your relationship? How have you dealt with him being gone?
Cj says:
I have a question my so to be husband got granted for a six month leave to come home for we can get married but I received a email saying something about a payment that I have to send in for he can come home
Kristin says:
Wow super helpful and terrifying reading all of these comments. My boyfriend of 3 months will be stationed in Okinawa, Japan in August. He will the. Be deployed to Syria shortly after, maybe sometime in September. We want to stay together and make it work but we both know it will be next to impossible with time zones and our schedules. I love him very much and am confused. any advice would be helpful.
Veronica says:
By boyfriend is getting ready to deploy. He stopped talking to me almost completely…… I try and support him and cheer him up about the situation but then he’ll ignore me completely for the rest of the day.
He last told me we’re okay in our relationship and but that everything isn’t okay in general.
I’m giving him some space, but he’s not even deployed yet…. This is the first time he’ll be deploying while we’ve been together, and he has been deployed 3 times already.
I’ve just never seen him act this way before. I dont what he’s going through and I’m trying to empathize, but nothing is working. We’ve been friends for 10 years and been in a relation ship for what will be a year this month.
I don’t know what to do….
Anna says:
I am dating this guy, I met him in the beginning of March and he left for deployment in the middle of April. It’s almost going to be a month and yes, it has been really really hard. The first week was difficult and I thought I couldn’t do it. But each day that he was gone, I would write to him. I would write to him once a day in a journal that I bought. I write to him but I don’t send him anything. I haven’t heard his voice ever since the day before he left. It is hard and he is also very dry whenever we would talk through text and I had always thought that maybe he’s slowly loosing intrest because he used to not be that way. He used to tell me everyday how much he likes and misses me but I understand now about the “combat and home-life” switch. It makes sense. It’s really not easy not talking to him often, but I am trying to keep my mind busy. Reading everything on this page really helped me and now I don’t feel as sad anymore about me thinking that he’s maybe loosing interest in me. He will be back in about 5 months but I am looking forward to his return. After that, he and I will have all the time we want in the world. Just keep that in mind. And remember that if you really like them, you will deal with the sacrifice and wait for them until they come back. It’s going to be really hard, but don’t give up. That’s what I keep telling myself.
Lilly says:
My boyfriend of one year today, left for basic about 3 weeks ago. He’ll be serving for at least 8 years now. We talked a lot about our relationship before he left and we really want to stay together. I’ve been having trouble because I already miss him, I miss talking to him and seeing him, and I know there are going to be times ahead where he is gone for 6-7 months at a time. How can I keep from feeling so sad?
Dawn Mancell says:
I know what it’s like. I come from a military family. Matter of fact i was born in the military myself. Yes it’s hard but you have to realize. They are savings us. It’s just la in California they get killed in the street. So really i see no different. War is war. I pray that’s what i do. Most of my family is over sea on a sect misson. I would pray for them all…. We are FREE! They aren’t 💕🇺🇸💕
Anne says:
Hello, reading all you guys’ comments gives me ease and more confusion at the same time on my situation..
I’ve been dating a guy in the air force for 6 months now, he left for Afghanistan 2 weeks ago, he was able to text me a message once for 2 days, then it’s been a week since last time I spoke with him through call.. but then I see he’s been active on his twitter account for the past week I haven’t heard from him.. so I’m thinking maybe he has wifi connection but have no cellular signal because I do send him messages of how my day is going on a daily basis..
I’m really confused.. I know they need to focus on their operations but when I see he has time to go on his twitter and like a post follow someone, wouldn’t he at least take some time to shoot me an email?? I also don’t know how wifi and cell signal work over there..
Camila says:
Them can be in touch OUT FROM SOCIAL MEDIA. The way they use its “HANGOUT” Just texts, not video call, no calls. Best way of contact with them.
I have 2 weeks an soldier ask me to be him girlfriend, after send a lot of questions to soldiers…about if its true i need to send $1200 for another soldier can get an Leave vacation permit.
This soldier answer to me”no directly my main question”. Him ask me how much i love to that soldier. I tell him I AM DEEPKY IN LOVE WITH THAT PERSON, BUT IF THAT WHAT HIM ASK ME ABIUT THOSE $1200 ITS FALCE. I DO WILL TAKE OUT HIM FROM MY HEART AND MIND”.
This deployes soldiers who i has 2 weeks in contact with say to me: BABY PLEASE FORGET ABOUT THAT FALSE MAN AND NOT SEND MONEY TO HIM OK, I AM HERE AND I WILL TAKA CARE REALLY GOOD OF YOU, MY MISSION DONE IN 3 MONTHS, AFTER IT I RETIRE OF THIS WORK AND WE WE ABLE TO BUILD AN REAL HOME IF YOU ACCET MY 7 YEARS OLD SON, I WORK TO MUCH AT HERE…NOW ITS THE TIME TO FOCUSE ON YOU AND IN MY SON.
And we still in a perfect love comunication, i think thats the best and real soldier. Who not ask for any money.
Cher says:
Kerrie,
All of you NEED to be careful talking to men claiming to be US SOLDIERS DEPLOYED OR OTHER WISE, your first hint will be if they ask you for money! DO NOT SEND THEM MONEY!!
They can SKYPE that’s your other hint, if they say they can’t, if they are in a War area they have Moral tents where they can call out, and be on a safe laptop, but some units ask Soldiers to shut down their Facebook pages while on deployment so if they say that it’s true.
Now let me tell you how to spot the fake Military men.
1) if they ask for money right away
2) If they tell you they are widowers they always say I’m a widow and have a child)
3) if they have a Facebook page that was just made that day or a few days ago
4) if all their Facebook friends are black and are from Nigeria or a like Nigeria country
4b) if on that page their posts aren’t good English or their texts or messages
5) if they never Skype
We as women are targets for these scammers
Be careful, Cher
Carolyn Simon says:
if you are checking to see his usage, you will drive yourself crazy. you’ll start to believe he has another girlfriend, or doesn’t care about you. in reality he may be contacting his next of kin or just using some spare time to help ease the situation he is in. I’m an older fiance’ and my soldier is in a war zone. At first it was hard to understand why he didn’t seem interested in my chatter, but coming here and realizing his life and mine are totally different right now — well, it helps to hear it from people who have been through this. I have to keep busy with work and hobbies. I never forget him, but contact is up to him, not me. Try to keep your mind occupied with daily things that YOU need to do and good luck for your future.
Ri says:
Currently going through this same situation. Today is his last day of commutation for the next three months. He hasn’t been communicating with me during the times he is able to be on his phone. I feel like I’ve done something wrong or that he is having doubts. It’s hard not to look at his phone usage when I can notice he is preventing himself from talking to me about he feels or wanting to talk to me as much as possible. Feeling alone and lost on what to do or how to know how he’s feeling. Coming on this website has really helped me cope through this situation.. thank you for the encouragement
Julie says:
Hi I have been approached by a man claiming to be an American soldier deployed in Afghanistan. I’ve not heard from him in a few days as he said they were going on a mission. I’ve now received messages from some doctor saying he’s been injured and needs to get home and they will be kicking him out of some hospital, from God knows where, and he needs $1200 to get home. I believe this not to be true. But I have picture of him in hospital and x-ray of his injuries. I know the army would not leave him in limbo. Please advise. I have not sent money as I don’t have it. My heart wants to believe but my head says no.
thehopeline says:
Julie, Trust your instincts on this one. It’s good you are reaching out to ask about this. This is a classic scam to get money from you. You need to block these individuals from messaging you. It saddens us that there are people out there preying on goodhearted people, like you, that wants to believe.
Camila says:
Hello. Its bestvoptiob NO SEND MONEY TO NO OBE. Its just the false informations the military scammers arists do to involve to any person in a love far away situation. Thaa happends to me. After i refused to send $1200, the last messages i receive fro “the soldier” its:
Ok i see all what you say before about you love me so much and you misme so much…ifts falce. Go and have great day with your ex ok, because i know you has another person with you..
Thats all the letters they send and they stop FOR them own the comunications. Please no semd any money to mo one because you will lost it and no have at home “your soldier”
Kerrie says:
HELP! I am in UK and have recently started chatting to a US soldier after matching on Tinder, he is over here on deployment. We have been communicating via WhatsApp and the conversation has been really easy. I just don’t understand why he can send me written messages and not call or video message. He has told me that he has to get permission is this true? I have not had any dealings with the services at all and finding it hard to understand. I want to believe what he is saying. Any advice would be appreciated.
Carolyn Simon says:
hi – i am in the u.s. a fiance’ of soldier in battle zone. He applied for and received a special line to call his mother. but I do not qualify as am not the next of kin.
your soldier is telling you the truth…its very hard, but we have to be satisfied with what we get. we chat on hangouts, but often in the middle of sentence he leaves…. not mad, just something more important has come up. like a bomb or incident. its hard, but if you like this man, hang in there, he is telling you the truth.
John Lewis says:
Hi Kerrie,
I am a soldier currently deployed in Afghanistan and i communicate with anyone on video chat which is a very common way of communicating in the Military today, if you are receiving an excuse, there is a scammer behind the picture you are communicating with thank you. John
Lynn says:
Hi Kerrie, this advice may be a little late and you have likely realized this…but it sounds like a love scam. Soldiers are allowed to talk to and video with their loved ones. I have been single for a while and have encountered several of these scamsters with similar stories. They may be lonely men looking for attention, or they may hit you up for money once they feel you trust them.
All the best,
Lynn
CHARVRS says:
I am dealing with a similar situation my boyfriend of a year and a half now is deployed for the next 2 years. I really love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him but its gets hard sometime knowing he say far away and there is nothing he or I can do to change the situation thats at hand right now. I’m his back bone right now n the person he talks to every day but sometimes it really hits me hard. WHAT DO I DO?
Carolyn Simon says:
I am a military fiance’ MUCH older than you and it’s difficult. If you read the writing above your question “Communication with those back home is difficult for several reasons.” use that as a beginning to try to understand your soldier. He is going to be in a totally different situation than you are each day and it’s very hard to keep in touch and grow together. This is a good site to come to, just to read through and comprehend. don’t get down on yourself. You are going to be leading different lives. I never get to speak to my soldier as he’s in a combat zone- so i have to keep myself busy all the time. Focus on your own life so that he doesn’t have to deal with your complaints. Try journaling, finding work or a hobby to focus on. Make your visits more about just listening to him, and not worrying him with coddling you. Come back here, its a good place to just read through the wisdom of those who’ve been here before us.
Casey niver says:
My boyfriend is leaving in a couple weeks for boot camp for 3 months. After that he’s only here for 10 days until he has to bc gone for 2 years. I’m in high school still and plan to go with him when I graduate next year. I love this boy with my whole heart and am so nervous about him forgetting me and/or losing feelings when he’s gone. How do I get through this?
Carolyn Simon says:
I am a military fiance’ MUCH older than you and it’s difficult. If you read the writing above your question “Communication with those back home is difficult for several reasons.” use that as a beginning to try to understand your soldier. He is going to be in a totally different situation than you are each day and it’s very hard to keep in touch and grow together. This is a good site to come to, just to read through and comprehend. I know some folks meet in kindergarten and stay together the rest of their lives, but it is normal for someone your age to need and want lots of friends or a couple of good friends to have fun with. Life has a way of working out, so don’t get down on yourself if you don’t hear from often or if you drift apart. You are going to be leading different lives. I often find myself missing the romance, the visits, just being with him – but its impossible so i have to keep myself busy all the time. Focus on your own life so that he doesn’t have to deal with your complaints. Come back here, its a good place.
Madison says:
Hi, my boyfriend of over a year will be leaving for basic in about 6 months. We use to be very certain that we wanted to stay together and make it work. Now that it’s getting closer, he has doubts that the distance won’t end well and he doesn’t want to hurt me in the long run. He is the type of person that puts everything on himself and helps others before he helps himself. I know that I will be ok with the distance and I want to make it work. I just want what is best for him. Are having these fears and doubts normal for approaching change? Does anyone have any advice?
SongBird says:
My guy is close to the end of deployment and I have not talked to him in a week. I still send him messages daily to let him know I am still here.
Brenda says:
Hi, I just started talking to a man that said he is in the Military we have been talking since March 7, 2019, and on March 10, 2019, he told me he had an email and he had to go to the office. Well later he came back and on Whatsup App and told me that he was being Deployed out Monday morning at 6:00 am. I asked him if he could tell me where he was going to and he told me Iraq I ask if he knew for how long yet and he said for about 4 months. I have been scammed before and I don’t want to get scammed again but if this man is real I would really like to get to know him better and have a real relationship with him. So today I started asking him about things like. What is his job title he told me I’m a mechanical engineer operator specialist at US Army that he operates the Hammer tanks I ask him his Rank he said he Rank code number is SSGT .E8A9 that he is a Staff Sergeant. I ask him if we could Skype together and at first, he said if he knew I wanted to he would have filled out the paperwork for him to be able to Skype before he left yesterday and then he came back and said Honey I don’t work on Skype so it is giving me some red flags or is it just me to be just because of me being scammed before.
Christina D. Russell says:
Red Flag! If he is telling you his rank in that manner, it is wrong. If you asked me my rank… I’d say Captain… just like that. No one says all that numerical stuff. I don’t even know what that (those numbers) is (are) and I am retired military. A Staff Sgt. in the Army is an E6. I would ask him his MOS…. where he went to boot camp…. etc. You can google all that information to verify. Trust your instincts.
Ariel says:
My Adam has been deployed for almost 2 years now. It is soo hard. The hardest thing I think I have ever done. We started dating shortly before he was told he had to deploy for a year. However, we both could see that our attachment to each other is stronger and deeper than any relationship we have previously been in. I love him so much, more than he’ll ever know.
When we both found out he was deploying, he wanted to breakup with me but I was not having it. I didn’t understand why he would want to do that if he loved me. But he knew what he needed in order for him to get through his deployment so I agreed to breakup. I do kind of understand his decision because he was married before and his ex wife cheated on him while we was deployed. We both hashed it out over the phone, cried, said I love you but now things are rough. We still talk or talked… He hasn’t messaged me in months. I wrote him a pretty long text awhile ago, saying that I think we want different things now (him the sexting and me, anything but sexting). After that he hasn’t spoken to me. He said that’s not all he wants but every time we talk it’s sexting and then he has to take a shower and get some sleep. We never talk about other things, our future. He doesn’t ask me how I’m coping, how I’m doing in my classes, just for sex now. This routine of how we communicate is why I wrote him that text. I don’t like it. I am more emotionally attached to him than physically attached. I would like to be reassured that his feeling are still the same about me. I truly do feel a strong connection with him but maybe he doesn’t feel that anymore??? Side note: I do understand that he is very busy with work. He ranks E6, which I have done some research on that. He can’t tell me where he is and he tried to tell me what he does in the Navy but from what I could gather it’s some kind of construction lol He used big words lol