Some people tell me that after their heart has been broken, they can’t eat, they can’t sleep, and their grades start dropping. It’s not an easy journey to move from a broken heart to healing, but it is possible, and it is necessary. You will need to take some hard steps of putting the hurt behind you so you can get on with the rest of your life. I hate to see you suffer, so here are a few tips for moving forward after a broken heart.
1. Let go of mementos. If you’ve been dating someone a while, you no doubt have collected items that remind you of the one who left you behind. When you were still dating that person, these mementos meant the world to you and had a powerful impact on your emotions. But now, these same mementos only work to break your heart.
These include things like pictures, rings, pillows, music, clothes, etc. Hanging on to reminders of the relationship will get in the way of moving on. Get rid of them. This can be hard to do because there is something very final about throwing them away. You are finally admitting to yourself, “It’s over. It’s truly over.” This is an important step to take.
2. Keep yourself busy by giving to others. When you were dating, you spent hours and hours with your special someone who has broken your heart. Now you have all this time on your hands. People who get over broken hearts find ways to fill that time with something positive. For example, you might want to get to know your friends again. Hanging out with them will help remind you of the good old days before your ex. Or you can get involved in helping organizations like Big Brothers/Big Sisters or volunteer somewhere else. Filling your time with positive activities will both help distract you and help you feel good again
3. Take care of yourself physically. It is very difficult to overcome a broken heart when you don’t feel good physically. Not feeling well only adds to your depression. When people have their hearts broken, people either tend to quit eating or begin overeating. Sometimes they try to self-medicate through drugs or alcohol. None of this works and usually makes matters far worse.
When we eat right, we have more energy, more endurance, and less mood swings. Getting good exercise actually triggers chemicals in our brain helping to lift our mood. Have a friend to encourage you to exercise and eat right. Soon you will be feeling better, even if you’re not sure why.
4. Realize it’s mostly about you, not your ex. Any event in our lives is just that an event. The issue comes down to how we interpret that event. Two people going through the same type of break-up can interpret it and respond to it very differently. So, in the end, it comes down to whether you are going to allow this break-up to make you stronger or stay a victim. It’s no longer about the ex and how horrible they were or what they did. At some point it becomes mostly about you and whether or not you decide to move on.
5. Move on. Finally, that moment comes. Sometimes it creeps up on you. Other times, it’s like a light bulb goes on in your heart and you say to yourself, “It’s time for me to move on. I’m not going to die. The sun will come up tomorrow and I feel myself learning to live without the other person. In fact, I can go a whole day without thinking of him/her.” When that happens, it’s an awesome thing. There’s nothing quite like the realization you have decided to move on.
For more help and answers to your questions on breaking up and heartbreak, check out this page full of blogs, podcasts, stories, and more!
YaYoua says:
Thank you Dawson. This topic has helped me. Today I’ve decided to finally let go of my husband… Again ….. I was dealing with a heartbreak. I did what you were saying not to do, I over reacted and over analyze. Then I did what was on your list. I cried and talked to God. I let go of mementos. After I found your blog and decided to read it, hoping it would help me get through the night. It did. Its only been a day since this letting go has happened, but I will continue to follow your ways of getting over my broken heart. Thank you so much. I love giving people advises on heartbreaks but never seem to do it myself. Easier said than done, right? Goodnight Dawson! : ) I thought I would be crying myself to sleep tonight but thanks to you, I won’t be.
TheHopeLine Team says:
YaYoua, Thank you for your kind words! We’ll be praying for you. Stay strong.
Deauna says:
Thank you Dawson. I think this will really help me. I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years and it’s been really hard because of all the other things going on in life. But I will live and let go. I am strong and I won’t fall back into that relationship. I will let God help and heal me too. I can do this and I’m not alone, despite how I feel. Thank you so much. This made me smile despite everything, and I was begenning to think I had forgotten how. Have a great day Dawson, and I will too. Thank you, for everything.
TheHopeLine Team says:
Deauna, We are so glad to hear that Dawson’s blog helped you. We’ll be praying for you to stay strong and that you continue to find peace!
nkm111411 says:
The advice seems helpful. I only recently was left from a 5 month relationship. Not very long but I have but mostly one rule. Don’t promise what you cannot keep. I was promised alot and never was I given those in return. i gave everything. Now looking back,after blaming myself,i wasnt to blame for him leaving. It was him for leading me to believe i found happiness. This has made my night easier. Thank you.
TheHopeLine Team says:
nkm111411, you’re welcome! Thank you for your feedback. If you ever need to talk about what is going on a HopeCoach is available to chat with you 24/7 at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp.
Jeremy says:
I’m kinda in the same boat the girl I love is getting married to a man she slept with once and is now pregnant with is kid her mother found out that she and I slept together and what her mother told me is that she wanted me to be the father but I am not the dad but I wish I was I would lay my life down for her but she still thinks that hat her baby daddy will stop doing drugs drinking and partying but I know him and I know he wont he likes to do drugs h lives to drunk and he lives to party if anyone has it hard for them its me I have loved her since Jr high and I know that I wont live anyone else
disqus_3t5gPQ68K7 says:
I was dating a guy for nine months of craziness. I love him and it’s been a year since we’ve broken up but even a year later I’m still in bed crying over him. It was a great relationship but he had put me through so much and in the end I found out he was cheating so that was it and I couldn’t keep letting him hurt me so I ended it and I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I think of him everyday and sometimes I wonder if I messed up in letting him go because I know I truly love him.
Jen says:
I am so heartbroken I can’t sleep eat or do anything that I used to enjoy my boyfriend of 7 years has decided he is tired of my craziness so he says and chose to move out I have been supporting him for so many years everyway I can and I feel so used please help how do I let him go I just want to be happy I feel I have lost myself over time
AloneAgainNaturally says:
How are you doing now? I’m going through the same thing. It’s been 3 weeks, but I feel like this pain will never end.
Tia says:
It’s been 2 years since I broke up with my fiancé or should I say he dumped me. I guess it doesn’t matter but I am missing him and I need to move on. I am having a hard time with this any suggestions?
Tosin says:
It’s been 10 months my ex broke up with me after cheating on me.I am still hurting and hope this pain will go away.I still think about me him every single day but today I have decided to let go and move on although I still love him a lot.
ran dy says:
Hi.. these advice surely would be helpful for me to go through this tremendous pain im dealing due to my recent break up with my gf now my ex. I found out she’s cheating on me and has been lying and deceiving me about us. She is having an affair and sleeping with another guy. While I’m away working overseas. I feel like my heart will explode and tears keeps flowing because of the pain. I cant sleep i cant eat cant do anything. But ill be strong and keep holding on because God is able to help me endure this temporary pain together with my family and friends. Thank you for these advices.
Lorena Pal says:
It will get better . I found out my boyfriend cheated on me 7 weeks ago . The best medicine ? NO CONTACT. You deserve better . The pain is still there but through hard work you can find peace and also will feel relieved that this person is rememoved . THANK GOD you didn’t marry / have kids . With constant effort of no contact and this site , and the BIBLE …. and God and friends and family you will come to a point where you won’t want her back if she begged on her knees BC you will see she is not worthy . She is not worth your love . .. forgiveness comes in stages but do keep reading everything you can put your hands on and also a partner is a mirror of ourselves so there must be something In you God wants to make sure He prunes . I bet you won’t ever cheat on anyone huh ? It’s is extremely painful and abusive behavior . You should be relieved honestly. And now you can fine tune your picker for next time and be careful to whom you give your heart to. If there are red flags .. listen . If she says she has cheated before … run !
rebecca grim says:
Hi..how are u doin?? Better i hope,,,:)
rebecca grim says:
Hi..iam so heartbroken,,my boyfriend of 10 years broke up with me becuse i didnt think it was ok for him to invite his ex to a get together at his brothers home while we were house sitting there,,,He said ,,hey,,lets invite some friends over and cook out,,,i said,ok..i was busy doing things and looking forward to seeing friends when he said to me,,hey,,i just talked to Sue and she doesnt have to do,,,shes coming over and bringing a girlfriend along,,,,Well,,just last year while he was at a motorcycle event in Maryland,,she called him and said she didnt have anything to do could she join him? He said ,,yes,,so she drives 250 miles one way to stay with just a friend! Really?? He says they had sex twice but,,,they are only friends,,,so,,i beleived him,,,she says hi to me when we run into each other and she is a nice person ,,i didnt mind them textin once in awhile and sayin hi.. But to me,,Rick knew i didnt like that she followed him to the shore and i was uncomfortable about it,,,so,he says he has lots of women for friends,,and if i dont like it,,thats to bad because shes always gonna be his friend and we should stop seeing each other,,To me,,it was ok for them to text and talk,,but i feel he didnt have to invite her and her friend to the cookout,,,just felt like he wanted to see how far he could push me..am i wrong for feeling hurt and feeling like i mean nothing? I asked him if he would like it if i invited my ex,,,and he said he wouldnt care,,, i would of never invited a ex to a get together,,pls help and let me know what u think..many thx god bless u all:)
QODAR SALMAN says:
Can i go to other places to keep me calm, because if i stay in the same city i feel like i will never be calm, but all my friends say that i need to deal with it, and don’t run.. But all i want is to take time for my self to heal and to open new life
Jennie Mele says:
I can’t cope with the pain of my break up. Can’t eat or sleep, I feel depressed. Can’t sleep without the sleeping pills. And to make things worse I think I’m getting addicted to them. How can I make myself feel better and sleep better?
fatima says:
emotions take time to heal but with time you will feel better, with time, dotn put your life on hold because of this person
Maila Gonzales says:
I am very heartbroken. Last August, I found fb messages between my cop husband and his informant (a 19 yr old girl ) saying i love you and i love you too to each other. When I confronted him, he just said it wasnt him but the girl’s bf who borowed his phone. I asked for proof that there’s nothing between them but he would not even allow me to read the older messages they had, just to make me see that the previous or older messages before that were different than the romantic exchange I was complaining about.
A month after, I learned from his officemate that he lied to me last December about a girl’s bag that he bought when we were together last Xmas. My husband told me the bag was for that officemate’s gf and that the guy didnt have time to buy a gift for his girl and so he did him a favor.
But his officemate, his friend, denied having a gf and swearing that even if he has one he would never ask somebody else to buy gifts for him. My husband said that his officemate may just have forgotten about it since it was several mos. ago already. I begged him to call that guy to clear thngs but he wouldnt. One time, I tried to call that guy on my fone and put him on loudspeaker so the 3 of us could talk but my husband quickly went out of the house.
We had arguments and he would say I was always nagging. And then he started not going home for a long time. He just drops by to see the kids.
He even told me he only shows up because he loves the kids. He said he doesnt want me, he doesnt want to be with me anymore, he doesnt want to share a bed with me and he doesnt love me at all.
I already asked for my pastor’s advice. He said I just stay where I am and do my duties as wife and mother. And that I should stop asking my husband to come home or ask him when he’ll come home. I have tried and am still trying to do this, but this is really so hard. I am in the brink of depression. Im always crying, and just sleeping. When Im out, I look fine. When Im home, Im a wreck. I miss him so much but I am really angry, more so with myself for still longing for him despite what he has done to me.
When will I wake up feeling nothing for him? I dont like this pain. I dont want to feel this way everyday and hopefully soon because I dont think I can take it anymore.
julianna says:
im going through the same thing. they get caught and they suddenly don’t love you, then they blame you. i can’t even type anymore. it just hurts so much
Mark Olford says:
I was crushed also…
fatima says:
it will take time but you will get there loads of prayer lady, loads o prayer will help
luuu says:
I have a kid with a guy but he tells me he doesn’t love me at all and he don’t wanna be with me. he only love his kid.. it hurts me so much..
I’m tired of crying everyday. l don’t know if l will ever get heal. .
he sees girls in front of me..
ImAWarrior5x says:
It’s going on three years. I still hurt, I still suffer. And I feel like the ugliest thing alive
C says:
It’s been five years. From when I was 13 to 18 in a month. I’ve wasted my whole teenage hold hurting and I can’t get over it as much as I try. You can’t just “move on” whenever you want. Nothing helps if it truly mattered.
fatima says:
oh sorry yea, you need to speak words of peace to your emotions. you cnat force someone to be with you. you just have to get something strong enough to block the person off. for me I pray and pray and pray until, I get my breakthroyugh. I am currently on a fast because old feelings are trying to creep o me agai, I don’t want it to.
Audrielle Blount says:
Hello, I had been talking to a guy for about 6 months and we were on the verge of making it official and then he told me that he was wasn’t ready. Come to find out he was seeing someone else and his reason behind it was I was the one that wasn’t ready when I really was. I loved this man so much and I still do. I wanted to build with him have a future with him ya know . but I just found out he proposed to her after 3 months of dating. I’m so hurt and heartbroken right now. I just talk to God and tell him to heal my broken heart .I really need him right now .
Deb says:
I am so sorry that this happened to you!!! It happened to me too. I am an empath, so I feel things very deeply. I am also clairvoyant so i knew he was lying to me. He broke thongs off with me in a text and has stonewalled me since. It’s been 2+ months and it stiil hurts just as much as it did at first!!!!] I sincerely hope you get over this quicker than i am. Oh, he did this to me 13 yrs ago too. At the time we were both married. His wife has since passed away and i am in the process of a divorce. This truly sucks be ause i completely believed he was ” the one”.
fatima says:
hmmm. serious matter!
Raeyed says:
I remember in 2016, I told my friends I can’t love anybody and only dated people because I wanted to have a relationship. Once they mess up, I move on. I had this seat mate in training school in 2016, we were too close for comfort, i have had so many male friends but it was different this time. We grew closer as time went by and emotions started to grow.
By then, he had advised me to date my current boyfriend which I did and I also started encouraging him to get a girl friend.
In 2017, we had grown so close people started thinking we were dating, in short I get comments of “You know this guy loves you”.
I went visiting him sometime mid last year and we kissed, I was supposed to be the hard core but I had a soft spot for him. Yea, we made out more times after that day. Leave work and make out etc.
I told him I had feelings for him late last year, he said he felt the same way but I had a boyfriend.
We agreed, we needed to protect our friendship, so no dating. He had a lady he liked but sincerely I thought at that moment he loved me but we just wanted to keep the friendship.
The months went on and we were still very close.
I was sure I was in love with him. I had planned to break up with my boyfriend and give us a chance, unknown to me he had srarted sleeping with the girl he liked.
I picked up his phone one mid night and read the chat. I cried like a baby that day, but that didn’t make me stop whatever we were doing but I didn’t break up with my boyfriend anymore.
By February this year, he called me to tell me he was going to date the girl he liked. I was reading for an exam that day, I remember putting my books aside.
I was completely heart broken, I cried, I think I begged him. He said it was complicated, I was completely in Love with my supposed best friend. I have cried everyday since then, I asked myself what it was I lacked, was it sex, was it money etc
We stopped going for lunch, we stopped so many things we did together. We sometimes make out if we left alone together.
I broke up with my boyfriend because he felt it that i loved another but we back together now after i claimed i have moved past it but the truth is I have not. I still think about him, miss him, still get affected by his inaction or actions, still make out if we alone.
I can’t tell my friends or family this story because they will be disappointed especially because of my lack of self discipline, so I decided to share it here, maybe I will feel better.
I am working on being self disciplined and moving on with my boyfriend who really loves me and pray God grants me the Grace.
Sandra says:
Ohh sorry love..it will get better in time,my question is why is this guy not dating you cause it looks like you have some connection..whats complicated about this..
Lets hope you will pull througj
Cathleen says:
The end of any relationship is like a death. There is a grieving process before you can get on with healing.
Write a letter to yourself like your writing your best friend. You would tell your best friend to love herself! Right? To move on! It’s not so simple. But it does start with writing it.
First say goodbye to all the things you invented in your head all the dreams you built together or in your head (one day get married or one buy a house together or one day have children together or one day retire together and travel whatever the “dreams” were that you planned together say goodbye! Bye to all of them! Write it down too! You will never share those dreams with that person. Cry it out. Most of your sadness in a break up is not saying goodbye to the flawed person you loved, it’s saying goodbye to who you built that person to be in your head. So say bye to the person that doesn’t really exsist.
Then tell yourself all the reasons you are better off without him (write it down). Remember who he REALLY was… all the flaws… all the things he hated doing with you? So you stopped doing it or not as often? Remember all the times he disappointed you or upset you? Write it down! Say goodbye to all of it! He can’t do any of that anymore. He can’t hurt you anymore! It is so freeing and uplifting
Now say hello to your new life! Write down all the things you can do now without him! Maybe he hated the movies or or hated traveling or hated traveling to big cities or warm beaches.. maybe he hated shopping or hated certain restaurants or food types, or hated certain sports or teams, or music groups you loved he hated or maybe it was musicals or plays you love he hated. Write it all down. … write down every single thing you enjoy and especially what you CAN do now without him and fully enjoy it!
Now get your calendar and start planning things! Get yourself out of the house doing things he hated that you loved! Now you can enjoy it and now you can start to build memories with old friends and new friends that will not drag your X into your future.
Your future is about you enjoying your life!
Don’t let these X boyfriends that do not GENUINELY care about your happiness steal one more minute of joy from you!
Only you own your life. Don’t give your X the power to steal your peace.
Life is so short, go enjoy every minute without any regard to where he is or what he is doing… I promise you, he is living his life without any regard or thought of you.
Hugs and healing to you all.
Grace says:
This is very nice. I am going thru a break up right now and I am trying to move on and be okay again.
Patti says:
Thank you!!! This is what I really needed to hear! A real game plan….writing it all down for my eyes to see. Its like I know its for the best, but its so hard to let it go. And yes a lot of myself got list in him. And I am having a hard time of letting go of our future…which we talked so much about but he never intended of having. Thank you
christy says:
Am just passing through heartbreak, i broke up with him cause i find out he’s going out with my sister.D pain is much.Am confused should I talk to my sister or not
Ann says:
My husband & I were together 10 yrs, 4 yrs married he divorced me a little over 6months ago i havent heard a word from him. It all started August 2018 he was cheating after working at a new job for 5 months I’ve been devastated leaning on GOD the whole way through hoping he will restore us through my prayers I still love him, still want him but I want him to give his heart to GOD first so I’ll know its right I’ll know its GODS WILL NOT MINE! IVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN I want to reach out to him but I feel I’ll only be disappointed if I do things my way instead of waiting on GOD I MISS HIM HE WAS MY HUSBAND NOT JUST A BF. My heart goes out to anyone who feels this pain may GOD touch u with his strength, comfort & peace! I’m not giving up in hope & prayer.
Melvin says:
God don’t always show up and God don’t always help. I am suffering a great pain of rejection and it’s not her fault, but mine for hoping for her heart that she warned didn’t beat for me. I made a mess of everything by forcing a love that wasn’t there now I hurt horribly and it’s all my own fault. God is no where to be found and I don’t have his comfort or help. I want him to just take the pain away and make me, MAKE ME, normal and whole again. 💔😢
Leah Leopoldo says:
It was really true, this blog “TheHopeLine” really enlighten me and makes me realize that I am not the only person who is currently gone through this broken hearted feeling, feeing betrayed and was being lied by someone, all the words and thoughts has been shared into this blog really helps me understand things that my mind are burning to pain and a lot of destructive dreams that will not to happen anymore after being betrayed. Thanks to all the comment also I have feel that even at this very point of my life that I struggle to get up and move on, there’s always like someone like you guys also inspire me to move on. We don’t deserve to be treated like that by those boys or man, we as woman or girls deserve to be love and deserve to be treated well by them. I believed that “Karma” is real, but let’s lift up to God and let’s continue our life.
Justin Whitted says:
I’m just wondering how long – if ever – will I get over my heartbreak. I foolishly fell for a woman I worked with. I knew the odds were slim – she was gorgeous, smart, friendly, and had every other man pining for her – but something about her made me attracted to her, and I didn’t stop my heart from falling; we’d talk and hangout during work, and we’d make time to spend to talk to each other. Alas, I got put into in emergency quarantine for close contact (I didn’t even contract COVID), and she already had a boyfriend anyway (which scared me off from asking for contact information). When I returned, she was gone, and without contact, I have no idea where she is now. Seeing as I’ve never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship, this is probably the closest thing I’ve experienced in relation to a breakup. This all occurred in April; it’s now almost August, and I feel worse now than I did then. I’m not gonna lie, sometimes it feels like God’s torturing me: if he loves me so much, then why did this happen? Why did he bring her into my life for me to fall headfirst, only to take her away? There’s no answer, no closure, no recourse, and I’m left to pick up the pieces where no one’s at fault. I feel like I’m emotionally dying daily and there’s nothing I can do to prevent it.