If you have ever uncovered the painful truth that the person you feel you love is cheating on you, you probably asked yourself: What am I supposed to do now? What should my response be to this betrayal? There is no doubt a wide range of confusing emotions flooding through you. All these feelings make it very difficult to make any kind of wise decision on what to do next. So don’t react too quickly.
Let’s begin with looking at what cheating is and is NOT.
It’s important to understand that there are different kinds of behavior people call cheating, some of which is not cheating at all. For example, if someone asks you out just once, and then soon after asks someone else out, that’s not cheating. That’s simply dating. Believe me, there’s nothing wrong with dating around.
On the other hand, if you have been dating that person for a while and you both commit to dating exclusively, and that person dates someone else behind your back, that’s cheating. Obviously, if someone says, “Will you be my fiancé?” and you accept, and then they date behind your back, that’s cheating. If the person you are dating for some time has sex, or inappropriate sexual behavior with another person, that’s cheating.
1. The first thing you need to do is wait. Don’t do anything. Let your feelings calm down. Regardless of what you have discovered, there’s no need to go around trashing the person who’s cheated on you, or even the one he/she did it with. Stay above the betrayal. Don’t let the lies and deceit of your bf/gf drag you down into the gutter with them. Keep your deep sense of personal dignity and healthy self-worth. You only make matters worse by acting out of anger and confusion. Don’t tell the world you’ve been violated.
2. Surround yourself with good friends and wise counselors who can help you sort through your emotions and discover what has actually taken place. Get your friends and others you trust to quietly uncover what has been happening behind your back. Usually your friends are the first to know. These people are priceless to you because you can talk through your emotions with them. Left to yourself, you will only get caught in a circle of confusion, hurt, and resentment.
3. Confront your bf/gf in private. Confrontation is never easy, but you will never get to the bottom of what has happened or begin healing until you have talked with your cheating bf/gf. Sometimes you feel like causing a big scene to bring shame to the other person, and you end up just looking like a fool.
4. Remember your worth. Do not let yourself fall prey to all the lies that you may be tempted to believe such as, “There must be something wrong with me.” “I’m not worthy of real love.” “I’ll never find a good partner.” This is desperate thinking in the moment. While being cheated on hurts to the core…it does not define who YOU are. See yourself as God sees you. He sees you as….Chosen, Accepted, Loved, Beautiful and Significant. Write these messages down and surround yourself with them. Believe the truth.
1. It’s very important to have a confrontation face-to-face if possible. Body language (facial expressions, etc.) will tell you a lot.
2. Make sure you have the facts before the confrontation. If you try to confront without evidence, you will most likely be lied to or stir up deep resentment in the person you are accusing. The person being confronted often blames you for the very thing he/she has done. This is the kind of experience Kristy had, “I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years. It was a break-up/make-up relationship. He would do something wrong, like cheat, and somehow blame it on me; make me feel like it was my fault that he cheated, that somehow, I drove him to it. Then he’d break up with me, and a few days later, we’d get back together.”
3. While confronting, deal with the source of the problem, your bf/gf, and don’t focus on the person they’ve cheated with. Sometimes you feel like bringing shame to the other person, and you end up just looking like a fool.
4. Try to discover if your cheating bf/gf is truly repentant for what he/she has done. Some people are just sorry because they got caught. It will take time for you to know whether or not your bf/gf is truly sorry for their betrayal of you.
5. Some people when confronted become defensive, belligerent, and angry. That is a good sign they have no intention of ever getting back with you again. See their reaction for what it is. Sometimes it’s just better to walk away and stay away.
Deciding whether or not you are going to try and salvage the relationship could be one of the most important decisions you will ever make.
Consider a time-out from your relationship. A time-out will give you a chance to get wise counsel from other people and decide whether or not the relationship is worth saving.
Don’t make the mistake of KT, “My ex-boyfriend was a jerk and treated me so badly. He’d call me names and he’d cheat on me and give me the guilt trip saying, I will never find anyone like him or even as good as him cause he is that unique. All my friends told me to leave him. They said a good guy will come along when he comes along, but I didn’t listen to my friends, even though they have given me very good advice for two years now. I just didn’t listen cause my ex-boyfriend sort of brainwashed me in a way. Now that I understand and accept it, I am doing so much better.”
Know it will take time for the relationship to heal, if it ever does. Trust has been shattered and recovering trust takes a long time. If you decide the relationship is salvageable, your cheating bf/gf will have to be patient for you to trust them again. But eventually you will need to forgive them and learn to trust.
If you decide the relationship cannot be healed or mended, take some off from dating to find yourself and allow yourself to become stronger. Some relationships cannot be saved no matter what you do. So don’t bring unnecessary drama and needless hurt into your life by not letting go.
Steven said something incredible when he commented, “Everybody has free will and [my girlfriend] had the will to cheat as she pleases, and I can’t change that. But I also have free will. The free will to not give her power over me and to move on to lead a productive life. The people who loved me and the ones I loved were counting on me. I dropped my pride and cried out for help.”
Know your own self-worth and cry out for the help you need. You are worth it!
If you’ve just been cheated on and need more help, Check out: He Cheated On You: 6 Things Not To Do.
merlene kerr says:
when a guy love his phone ,whenever a text comes in he hides while he is textin so I cant see..
merlene kerr says:
and its not like I can read it because he always delete his text..it kills me when he does these things
Hank says:
There is such thing as privacy, like a phone, but to delete text messages and having anxiety when the phone is in YOUR hands is a sure sign of someone hiding something.
Raj says:
My gf of 3 years cheated on me for couple of weeks and then told me. She said she is sorry n guilty of what she has done n wants to get back with me. She did this twice in our relationship. Last time it was at very early stage of our relationship. I am not sure what to do. I love her a lot. 🙁
JoTo2729 says:
Please dont stay with her! Go out ! Do other things , she will do it again and lose respect for you
Gege says:
Same situation man. But worst we have a daughter..
joshzzz says:
If someone cheats on you multiple times they will do it again and again when they see any guy they like.
Been there done that more often that I would ever like to admit. Married a woman that told me she was a virgin… Found out she wasn’t and it wasn’t even close, and guys calling her on the phone when I wasn’t there. Fortunately, got out of that relationship but I feel my bad for my daughter who had to suffer the trauma of divorce.
Basu says:
Raj the same thing has happened with me… The girl i love the most has cheated on me and that to multiple times… I loved her a lot… She had a bf but she told she was never in a relationship with any 1 other than me… But i red handedly caught her when she was dating with a guy, but she had told me that he is her cousin brother before… When i checked with him the truth came to light that he is her bf. She was maintaining both of us. But later on she told me that she has left him n she loves me much and will not even use the number in which she had contact with him.
After 3 years of now i got a call from unknown no. And shockingly it was my gfs number she has been using in disguise and when checked with the call records she always cheated me and never leave her other bf.
I dont know how to react what to do… Im totally depressed
two chainz says:
God bless raj, Its tough man. Its tough. Be wise and sure of what you need to do, people will tell you all types of advice, and the end of the day its your descion, make sure that you put yourself first because you deserve what’s best. Heal your wounds first, so you can heal the wounds of others.
Huy Thai says:
Raj! My name is Huy. Our story is so alike. Let me know if you want to talk
cat says:
I did it to someone I really cared about, now we are a mess of a couple.
I’m always scared he will walk away and give up on me.
I realize I need help to stop tearing apart a good thing. I also was told by his daughter 21st that he is a horrible person and ruined her childhood and cheated on all three wives. I got mad after hearing that and shut down and stopped caring. I do still care, we still see each other and I want to get over this. It’s a mess and I’m no divorced yet.
swati says:
I have a bought that my bf cheat on my back side . N when ever m trying to talk about this he start crying in front of me n said no m not cheating on you m seriously love u n all that . Plz tell me what to do . M emotionally confused . There is a war between my heart n my brain .
Hank says:
How do you KNOW he’s cheating on you?
bhuvi says:
Try to move on give space to your self
Kyle Kieffer says:
Dating someone for about 2 months and decided to move in with her since her and i BOTH thought things were going so well. Had a trip planned to a convention before I started dating her so i could really back out of it. Found out that while i was going t be on this trip, she was going to cheat with me with some other guy. Confronted her about it and I forgave her. Month or two goes by, saw that she was sending pics to some random guy, and then while I had some family issues happening at the moment and I was off trying to mend them, she wanted to visit the same guy from before to cheat on me. I love this lady, she keeps planning our future together, saying what we should do, what we will do in the future, but three times, and I still forgave her…will she really do it again?
Hank says:
Yes she will. Planning the future with you is manipulative. Long term planning so that you stick around for those plans. Leave the relationship.
Prince Austin Austin says:
Alright I have gf we been two for most 2 years, at the beginning of the six months, she cheated on me with two mutilple time, like 3 times each in a month, I forgave her cos I wasn’t around then and me on the other hand cheated too, later on I came back, and she still cheated on me I was mad and went on sex spree just to make her hurt, way after that, some things happen, we broke up, wishing a week she had sex again, then we got together and she apologize talking about how she didn’t love me before but now she’s committed, now guys is that type of girl worth keeping or will she cheat again?
Bivay Kumar says:
I have a bought that my gf cheat on my back side . N when ever m trying to talk about this she start shouting in front of me n said no m not cheating on you m seriously love u n all that . Plz tell me what to do . M emotionally confused . There is a war between my heart n my brain .I m going in very depression.actually i was physical relationship to her.when i told her about our relationship she said no mater and ye sabhi ke sath hota. actually my brain working is approximately stopping.what can i do..give the suggestion .plzzzzzzzzzz
Bivay Kumar says:
I have a bought that my gf cheat on my back side . N when ever m trying to talk about this she start shouting in front of me n said no m not cheating on you m seriously love u n all that . Plz tell me what to do . M emotionally confused . There is a war between my heart n my brain .I m going in very depression.actually i was physical relationship to her.when i told her about our relationship she said no mater and ye sabhi ke sath hota. actually my brain working is approximately stopping.what can i do..give the suggestion .plzzzzzzzzzz
Dawson says:
Got a msg from a random girl and guy saying my gf cheated idk what to do I asked her about it but she said it wasn’t true..they where snapchats between them
jessie says:
my boyfriend of 9 years acts like he is single on Facebook and will ask anybody out on it, even his sister trys to get him with her friends. i can’t take it no more! when I told him I know what he’s up to, he says to stay out of his business :(. we met in middle school and I never been with anyone else. I love him so much!! this makes me not want to live anymore…
A Guy says:
Best advice ever: leave, wait till you feel better (time, a lot of time doing what you like and dating random guys), get a new boyfriend.
Big Boss Rogers says:
Yea I bet his friends list private is 2! Same boat just opposite Honestly im sure your a beautiful female that a man will swoop you up in seconds! Hol ya head up baby girl!
Jason says:
I am 37, my gf is 25.. I recently had suspicions that my gf cheated on me with one of her work guy friends.. I confronted him.. He came clean and told me it happened a couple times.. I confronted my gf about it about 2 weeks ago, we talked for hours about it.. I was crushed!! I haven’t been no angel my entire life but she is one woman that ive been truly faithful to.. I can’t stop thinking about this everyday.. Knowing that she did this to me.. I want to move past this, I told her that I want this relationship.. she seems genuinely upset about this and wants to move on with our relationship. I just don’t know how to move on from this.. Any and all advice would help!!
Pwhite says:
I just found out that my bf was cheating on me. He was acting strange so I went to his house to find out that his ex is over there and he came out and said he don’t want to start nothing and it’s not what I think it is!! I told him to never call me or try to see me again but inside my heart is broken into millions of pieces 🙁
TheHopeLine says:
We are hurting with you. Stay strong. You deserve so much better! Chat with us online anytime, we are here for you! https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/
Ryan says:
My gf and I have been together for eight months now. She admitted to saying that she loved her ex during our fourth month and then she told another ex she had feelings for him during our seventh. Idk what to do Bc I love her so much. Please help
NelxonT says:
First off, it is okay if your ex still has feelings for another person. There is nothing wrong there and the emotional trigger is just doing it’s thing. People get commonly attacked by such events that by if most don’t say it to their partner, they will usually end up begging the ex to take them back, despite who broke up with who, which is a red flag for you. Either way, your girlfriend admitted something that’s most vital for her and you. Thereof, there is no need to worry. Not saying it to you would be a bad move from her. It automatically indicates that she is scared of losing you, by the worth of time, or just the time that she needs to comfort her zone of pleasure. If she cheats, then sincerely leave her. You need to understand that there are endless chances out there to meet someone that loves you equally as you do them.
khin says:
Me n my bf almost 3 yrs in love .but now he saying that he don’t need me anymore.i think he have another lover..wht should I do.i don’t know..I love him alot .now adays i crying n mad .should I make new bf to make him jealous?plz help me.😢
Anna says:
Hi im so sorry to hear that.Some guys have no idea how to treat a lady &i believe you are most probably too good for him anyway,even though it makes you feel worthless you definatley are not.Who does the cheating usually has a very large ego & loves himself more than others so my question to you is can you love yourself more than him & give your love only to the men that truly deserve it,because everyones heart & love is precious& is not to be stepped on. Xx
Raj says:
My English is not very good…
Hi my name is Raj. I was with her 2 and half years. I cheated on her and lie to her many time. She helped me in the business. When i was getting success in my business i was start contacting my another passed ex girlfriend to show her i have money now when i was with u i had nothing. Sometimes i go and see her.
After that i met someone else i was seen her behind my girlfriend back almost one year.
8 week before my girlfriend find out lot of stuff. She found out the pictures of girl and my passed ex She told me leave my house.
I was beginning her take me back. I wrote her name with knife on my hand to prove her i love only u. She took me back i was with her 6 weeks.
I want to tell her everything but scared to tell her may be lose her for ever.
But After that she found her self out bigger picture of my lies and on face book my ex find the girl i was with her one year. Both told each other he is my boyfriend another say is my boyfriend. I was spending money on the girl, take her out for shopping, restaurants, paying for her flat rent lots of stuff…
One week before she kicked me out again try to calls, texts, nothing is working. Try to help her financial she took the money but she says pay her rent the girl i was cheated with.
After that one of my friend advise don’t contact her. Yesterday i saw ur add i contact u and l following ur advise.
Please help me i really love her she is my life i done lots of mistakes i hurt her a lot.
Now more than 50 days i contacted her… she said i have a new boyfriend and she block my phone number.
Please give me ur contact telephone number.
Please please please help me out.
Raj
TheHopeLine says:
Raj,
Our chat system can translate many languages. Please chat with a HopeCoach about what is going on with you ex. We are here to listen and help. http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp.
kyle says:
Howdy, my story.
Ive been with my significant other for almost five years. We were engaged for a year now and the wedding planned for June 2016. Wet just moved, I had back to back family reunions, I have a hay field, and I manage an electrical contracting business. I had multiple jobs open and a lot of stress. Between the rush to move, work, visit family, cut/bale/pick up hay /get water back on these field, our relationship took a back seat for a about a month.
She cheated on her previous ex bit that was high school, she also was going through very hard circumstances with her family and never knew a good side to a relationship until she met me. when we got together she asked if I believed “one a cheater always a cheater” which I told her no as I’m a very old fashioned guy, and I highly value loyalty and commitment, and I knew if she was the one,I would show her the good side.
Two days ago, she admits to cheating. One night stand, she just found a new friend(female) and went to her house to hang out and have drinks. Which ive always not minded my fiance going out and drinking before, because I’ve always trusted her.
But The one time of my life that I’m stressed out to the max, and stuff gets piled up faster than I can tackle it, she cheats. Goes and sleeps with a guy. Now i can’t get the image of another guy touching her out of my head. As if it’s a video I’ve seen 100 times.
If what to do. I’ve spent the last 3.5 years building up a household so we wouldn’t have to once we’re married and have kids, preparing for a long future with this woman, and I’m so crushed, confused, angry, embarrassed, and lost I’ve been a zombie ever since.
She is my best friend, my lover, and they woman I planned spending the rest of my life with. But I’m so hurt,I don’t even want to try and pick up the pieces and try again, but it took so much of my ability to not want to sleep in the same bed with her and hold her.
Every relationships has its ups and downs, but when it seems as if she’s not strong enough to push through the hard times, is it worth saving? I can tell she feels terrible, and wants to start over, but by just staying over, she doesn’t really learn a lesson.
I just need some kind of encouragement of direction. As I’m the person everyone I know comes to for advice and direction. I don’t know where to turn to, or what advice to give myself as I’m emotionally compromised.
Maria says:
If you really do want to go back to her and work things out just know things aren’t going to be the exact same, and trust is a hard thing to gain back and its going to take time. Honestly, she cheated on you, and you weren’t good enough for her to not do it. she might say i didn’t mean to, but she knew what she was doing. She just didn’t care.
Just me says:
I just found out via nanny cam that my live in GF of 5 years is sleeping with someone in my house while I am out of state taking care of my mom in the hospital. I called several times earlier but it went to VM and I thought that was weird given the circumstance with my mom. I eventually checked the nanny cam (she doesn’t know about it) and am in a state shock and outrage. I clearly saw them making out, clothing on the floor and them having sex on the living room sofa. Just a bit ago she called me and left a VM that said she had fallen asleep. I don’t really know what to do and I’m not returning home for another 6 days. I pay for everything.. her phone, her car, her health insurance, all our meals and trips. I feel so used and angry. I’m sitting here in the middle of the night in my mom’s hospital room full of flip flopping emotions and I just don’t know what to do.
Dereck says:
I am out of town now for three weeks and going back this weekend. I found my girlfriends phone in the bag that I packed (the bag was hers that she let me borrow). It had her phone in it with messenger logged in. Then it beeped and her ex’s face popped up in chat heads. We have been dating for five years and I knew that she was still at least in contact with her ex.
I open the message and see that they are in the middle of a sexting chat. I spent hours reading all of their previous messages and they have been doing this for two years now.
I am devastated, what should I do?
Chisha says:
Dude that is horrible. Drop her you’re s good boyfriend from what I’ve ready you put 110% into your relationship and by her cheating after you do all that is disrespect in the worst way. Leave her. She’ll realise what she had when you’re gone you deserve better bro.
Siphesihle says:
its either u lve her or u leave her alone shame in this one
NelxonT says:
Leave her. There is nothing much to be said here. If she had respect for you and your common well-doings, then the second man wouldn’t even exist. Face the truth that there are endless opportunities out there to meet your true love.
a mess 45 says:
Ive been dating a girl ive known since i was 7 years old, we’ve been together almost a year, ive always wanted her and have my chance. I cheated a few weeks ago w my landlord whom i use to date. She found out and my landlord also had a conversation w her and really threw me under the bus. I dont know why i did it, my gf was always back and fourth whether she wanted me or not before this happened. And literally in the last week she asked to live together and found out what i did shortly after. Shes still talking to me, says she needs tie to decide whethet to date me anymore. Im a mess, i hurt her which i told her i would never do. I really wanna be with this woman, what do i do?????
Patience says:
Pray on it forgive yourself & repent to not do that again. You are your worst critic. You need time to heal. If she truly loves you she will be forgiving & merciful. You have to accept the consequences of your actions meaning she might not reconcile with you, but I promise you this experience will not allow you to do this again. That overwhelming feeling that comes over you for your actions means you are hurting for doing it. Be there for her & don’t make excuses for your actions. At least you have come clean with her. What ever she decides you have to respect & accept it. Wish you the best!
lisa says:
Wat should i do or say i found a girls number and text on a phone and he wanted her to spend the night this is on fiance phone he says he never cheats but he was asking people out when out of town if i confront him i pay his bills rent and live with him ill be left with nothing
Jcastellano says:
After 10 yrs of married’ the feeling of knowing something was up, eat me up. I was ruining my personal life , social and work environment. So I instead of waiting or ignoring what my heart was telling me I faced it. I knew she would denied it like every cheater. But I could have not in a million yrs would I’ve haved guessed with a family member that embarrassment was more than I can bare but now I’m free and found out everything before it probably would have gotten worst.
cool says:
i should let her go, i love her but she cheated on me many times, i cant bear this any longer
LSDprincess says:
she doesnt stop cheating on me, she goes behing my back and have sex with random old man !!!!!!!!!!
Kurtis Bunnell says:
My fiance of 5 years cheated on ome. She just told me its been going on a month. I moved out a week ago and hes already moving in. I know she is popping pills and needs help. I love her and want her back. She is my soulmate. She told me last night she didnt want to be with me. What to i do. How do i get her back
bibhaw willington says:
my gf is seeing other guy but she says she wanna keep us both.. i love her but he jus playin, she knows this too but wont leave him.. dont know wat should i do? should i leave her? coz i cant see her with him n she dont care wat i feel.. i love her alot..
Shawn says:
So my girlfriend recently told me she cheated on me, its only been a week. We have been dating for almost two years. I still love her and i over came this. Im not too sure how I came over it so quickly because i feel no hate no resentment I still see the girl i loved and love. however my girlfriend hates herself the guilt still eats her even when i forgave her. She isnt taking it easy on herself she cant even look at me without falling apart. My heart belongs to her and I’m not to let a single mistake define what happened. My question should i let her have her space? I gave her a second chance and its hard for try cause she’s pained by her decision.
Moon bunny says:
My boyfriend that I’ve been with not even a full year yet,cheated on me and I’m not sure if I should even define it as true cheating or if I’m just mad jealous or crazy or something and making drama out of nothing…I am very sensitive and a huge drama queen…But my boyfriend ‘cheated’ on me by trying to sext a girl he cheated on his ex with about 2 years ago.my boyfriend and I kinda went into a bad path before he cheated because my boyfriend introduced the idea of me sexting other guys as a sexual link for us I guess.One night I had offended my boyfriend and hurt him really bad and sexted another guy (with my boyfriends approval!!! I never sexted in secret! Ever!) He let me do what I wanted without putting his foot down and telling me it hurt him what I was doing.So feelings got hurt and I learned he was really upset after all that.I Tried to apologize to him and then I have him space(thinking he’d come around and tell me how he felt later) and then 2 days after I found out that he cheated.Him and his mistress has known each other for 4 years.He tells me that he hasn’t been talking to her at all in our relationship but I recently found out that before the sexting incident (which didn’t even go anywhere because I found out 2 days after and plus for some reason she didn’t want to budge with sexting him back) he had talked to her to ‘catch up’ with her on kik.Knowing him,I know he must’ve flirted with her I just know it no matter how many times he Denys it.How are you not gonna flirt with the girl you sexted and got off to for 4 years? She lives in another country but my boyfriend and I live in America.We are long distance and I only live a state down so he claims that he doesn’t care about her and doesn’t even want to be in a relationship with her because of the distance.But for some reason I don’t believe that he doesn’t care about her because he purposely hid her from me and never even bothered to kick her out of his life when he had so many perfect opportunities to do so.I asked him countless times if he had any girls from his past that he had ‘online relations’ with and was still in contact with them.He lied and told me no.Im extremely angry and I feel so betrayed and I told him countless times before all this happened that if he cheats I’m gone.And here I am.Staying with a cheater and I can tell you now that I feel destroyed.Completely destroyed.I sob about this bs almost every night.But point of this is that I don’t know if I should stay with him.Ive tried to break up with him countless times throughout the month but he keeps begging for me to stay.He even quit his job and started working at a job that I always wanted him to work at because it was more stable.He’s changing for me and when I cry and have my episodes about his cheating,randomly,he’s always there to comfort me.Every time I left him he begged and begged and begged for me to
Come back..Like he cried for me countless times…he says he’s changing for me and he wants to be ‘better’ for me.He was always there for me when I needed him most.So I don’t know if I should stay or just leave..I don’t know what to do!!!!!! Please help! This situation has really gotten to me and I’ve been extremely depressed and confused about this!!!!
Tay says:
I used to live in US with my Bf till I came back to my country and I find out I couldn’t go back, we are having a long distance relationship now. Our relationship has deteriorated and although that we decided to work things out to stay together. I love him and I know he loves me and this whole situation is very difficult for both us. But I just found out he invited someone to spend new years at his party at home, the girl knows he has a gf and she even asked If I wouldn’t mind, where he replied, no, she wouldn’t. He even invited her to stayed at his house! (she lives outside town) Is obviously if she goes, something will happen between them, they were already flirting to each other before he met me. I don’t know what to do, I just know I would forgive if he cheats on me, I will just break up. But I don’t know if I can consider this as a cheat or know, I dont know if I should confront him or wait till happen. I just feel heart broken and that this might be the end. Help pls.
Devin says:
I have been dating this girl and I went to see family for a week and she texts me that she was unfaithful in our relationship and that she kissed another guy. I was enraged but I didn’t let her she it. I love her so much and I would do anything to make it work between us. She says she is really sorry and that she needs time to gather herself, I am worried so bad. She said that wile she gathers herself we aren’t dating and that she wants me to be there for her when she is ready, but I might just be assuming the worst but I think this whole “gathering myself” thing is her trying to get with the other guy, because we aren’t dating and it won’t be cheating and she wants to come back to me when it doesn’t work out. I love her so much and I would do anything for her. I need her in my life and I need help. What should I do?
Tommy Gallagher says:
Look, if she’s gonna cheat she threw so many signs your way. Chances are you will and have missed them completely.
I’ve had a girl cheat on me once, it was absolutely humiliating but I knew it was coming eventually. just glad we weren’t that serious at the time… anyway took it as a priority and started taking responsibility for my life.
Jos says:
So my lady for over a year now had sex with another man twice, without protection. She confessed two days after saying she felt awful that she was seduced and that she can’t bare what she did she loves me and wants to be with me. She got a rash and burning pee sent to the dr. I noticed she seemed angry with me I thought she was losing respect for me for staying with her she said no she is just so angry with her self and lashes out. I’ve made up my mind and stayed with her then she missed a period…. She took test and they were negative ultra sound negative and then she started bleeding for like a week but said it didn’t feel like a period now she has a little belly Monday we’re going to the dr and get another ultrasound the stress is really eating at me and she is scared of pid and honest I don’t want her to hurt or wish anything bad on her womb but is it right for me to stay with her ?
Bill says:
I love how the author’s first advice is not to tell anyone. Keeping your partner’s infidelity secret only helps them maintain a veneer of normality and hurts you instead. What garbage.
TheHopeLine says:
I am sorry you misunderstood Dawson’s advice. Part one is about protecting your own self-worth and Dawson suggests finding people you can trust to talk to about what happened, “Surround yourself with good friends and wise counselors who can help you sort through your emotions and discover what has actually taken place.” HopeCoaches are available on chat 24/7.
Trent says:
Not sure why I’m posting here maybe because I don’t know what to do or how to deal with it. I’ve been dating this girl crazy about her down everything and anything I can for her. Recent I’ve had concerns about her relationship with this guy she says they are just friends. But she got me to reset her old phone and in doing so I seen their conversation, I moved to the area I live to be with her well it turns out the messages on her phone went back to 3 weeks before I moved all the way untill recent, I don’t think they have had sex since I been here but they have been texting and picture exchanging, and she had told him some lie about me that I’m an old friend who was her college roommate. She proceeds to talk to him I’ve confronted her she just tells me there’s nothing going on etc. She then started erasing all her texts. I knew having evidence was something I shoulddo if I wanted to get the truth and possibly work it out with her I truly want to be with this girl. I’m not sure how to confront her about this all anymore I want her to be honest and own up to what she did I have picture of every text theu sent from before I came untill She started erasing texts. What should I do… I’m killing myself wanting to be with her and wanting her to be honest wanting to be worth it to her.
Luke says:
Was going with my girlfriend for about 6 months and we were very close, spent christmas with her family etc. Then on New Years Eve, she went out with her friends and i went out with my friends, to the same nightclub. I hardly seen her the whole night but knew she was very drunk, i saw her in the corner of the club kissing her ex boyfriend. I was upset, not annoyed. She said she was really sorry and that she can hardly remember doing it, so i forgave her and we were fine a week later.
Then, for my birthday, I went on holiday to New York with my parents for a week, which meant that i was also away on valentines night. She was going out to a nightclub again that weekend, and some of my friends were also out that night. As i was lying in my room in New York, there were snapchats appearing in her story of her and a different ex boyfriend (whom i happen to be friends with), and it was clear that they were both drunk as the photos were blurred. My friends then texted me saying that my gf and her ex spent the whole night together and they were outside the nightclub holding hands and getting on, and they suggested that i ‘get rid of her’. The next morning, i asked the ex bf if he kissed her and he said that he can’t remember. Knowing the guy as much as i do, i knew that he had kissed her, so i said about it all to my gf, in a non accusatory tone, and she gave me the whole ‘can i not talk to my friends?’ speech, and then said how if there is no trust there is no relationship and we broke up. She maintains that she didn’t do anything wrong and has fallen out with me.
She has texted me a few times saying ‘Just believe what you want’ and ‘you just make me out to be a big liar’ etc, to which i haven’t replied.
I just want to know the best way to react to the whole situation? I know that i will see her out and about in town or whatever, and i don’t want to be bitter about the whole situation. So what i am asking is how should i react if i see her? Should i say hi to her or ignore her? Should i make the conversation as brief as possible or should i ask how she is going etc?
On a side note: My friends (both boys and girls) extremely dislike her because of new years eve and valentines and because she often didn’t act like she was in a relationship. I am here because i need an unbiased opinion.
Rye says:
I guess you should act in an intelligent way where if you happen to see her around you can maybe greet her but not with the expectations or feeling that she will realize her mistakes or whatever it is, but for the feeling that you know to yourself that you are a mature person and you know to yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong with her while you were in relationship. She wioo feel ashamed for herself if she felt that you’re mature enough to understand that of what she did was kind of an immature, irresponsible act towards you’re relationship. Some people really aren’t mature enough to handle a relationship.
Itkillingme says:
My girlfriend and I been together for 3years we have 2kids together, I deeply feel like she is cheating on me, she have this one guy on every one her social media, she always liking every single one of his pictures, I asked her if there is anything going on between them she denied it. I know for a fact that they always snapchating each other. I asked my girlfriend to delete him of her social medias she refused. I really don’t know what to do. I love her so much. I just wish she can really prove it to me that she doesn’t have anything going on with that guy, but every time I bring it up she get mad.
I’m fear of losing her.
The guy also in a relationship with someone else.
Kate says:
My girlfriend of 6 months, cheated on me with another girl. At first she lied about it then i finally sat her down and told her i knew and her face went blank. She told this girl she was in love with her and that our relationship wasnt gonna last much longer anyways. I read messages between her and this girl and heard them talking about it. We almost broke up, and everyone says that i should break up with her, but i love her so much. What should i do? Help!!
tyler says:
I am in the same situation right now. I think my gf is pregnant and has ran away from me and all family and is staying with her toxic friends.. that being said she is being controlled and doing hard drugs….. and of course cheating on me… now I know this is clearly over but I’m worried about my future child…. please help me someone……
Will says:
My girlfriend of two years cheated on me with my friend for a year. She can’t face me to talk about why she did it
Dan says:
Me
John Johnson says:
I was cheated on by my girlfriend. She ran off and screwed 4 guys in one week. I don’t know what to do because if I kick her out she has no place to stay. And I still really care for her. She said she’s done with cheating but I don’t know if I can trust her. I need help
Jaxk Sprat says:
Leave her to her devices. My piece of gf is was and always will be a serial cheater. Grab whats left of your self worth and integrity and save yourself for someone worthwhile and respectful. They are hard to find so you may have to wait a lifetime and it may never happen. But that’s just destiny. Don’t get married. You can’t trust her. She wants a backstop to come back to after her follies fall apart. Go NC on her forever. NEC. Never Ever Connect.
John says:
Just found out my girlfriend is cheating things have been difficult for a while and she left her facebook on and I found messages she gave me her password for her facebook and email address just a couple on months ago when she had a stroke and i nursed her back to health I got into serious finical difficulty since I had a lot of time off work and walking a thin line now with my bosses. She has bipolar and it could be down to that but seen she’s on pof and free dating as well as sleeping with her ex. I just don’t know what to do due to her instability she was abused by her ex husband as was her 2 children who look up to me as a father. We’ve been together for almost 3 years and have been engaged we announced it when she had the stroke but she recently called it off saying she’s scarred about getting tied down again. Any ideas about what to do as I don’t want to lose her and with her bipolar it may calm down again and settle but things are difficult at the moment.
TheHopeLine® says:
I am so sorry you are going through this. You sound like a really stable and loyal person. This is a lot for one person to handle. You can chat with us anytime 24/7 and we can help you sort through some solutions. We are here for you – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
John says:
Thank you I’m also waiting to speak to people who help carers I’ve been very ill recently and been losing a lot of weight and also waiting to hear from a cpn nurse as I had a breakdown the same time she had a stroke there was a lot of stress going on at the time which also led to her stroke we’ve been through a lot and know things have started to get better this happened.
Driix says:
I cheated on my gf for a long time did it for 5 years slept with 7 different women total. We have a 5 year old daughter , and everything is a mess now. I completely changes for her I don’t even talk to any girls at all. I did it because I love her, but it seems that the cards have flipped. She is the one cheating on me now. She tell me she doesn’t want to do it, but there is a side of her that tells her to do it because of what I had done to her in our past.
kunal arora says:
Please guys let me know how to start conversation with new girls on social network to make friendship stronger with her.
Rye says:
My GF cheated on me with her ex, and I forgave her. Then I found out after a month that she is talking with him again. I already caught he exchanging messages with him 4 or 5 times. Im not sure what to do by now. She always say she will not come back to her ex but why does she keeps on talking with him?
Mike says:
Mine said the same. Read my post I just posted
Mike
Stacey says:
My fiance cheated on me last summer. We have been together for 10 years, engaged for 4. We have 2 children together, and his 2 children from a previous marriage live with us also. He confessed that he cheated on me and that the girl was pregnant. I told him I was willing to work on our relationship and forgive him. He told me he had feelings for her, and was not in love with me anymore. She ended up having a miscarriage a few months later, and he assured me that they were just gonna be friends, they also worked together. I was not ok with that and just had to deal with it as I was willing to do anything to make it work. He told me last December that he wasnt communticating with her anymore, they were just coworkers. It was very hard and there have been lots of fights and arguments. Then 2 months ago she contacted me on facebook and told me they were still seeing each other and screenshotted tons of text messages. He told her he loved her, and was still sleeping with her the entire time. I am very hurt and dont know if i can trust him again. He has lied to me this entire time. He begged me for another chance and told me I am the one he wants to be with. Im not convinced that hes not still talking to her. She no longer works with him. I dont know what to do or believe anymore.
Riya says:
My bf of 5 years cheated on me…he said sorry and said felt guilty but i dont think so..when i confronted him he become angry and defensive and blame me for his infidelity.. I m confused, hurt, and trying to supress my feelings..to save myself from the pain…now i dont know what to do..should i stay or leave..as i can se he is not so sorry…he is very much manipulative.i m confused.
Matt Kaymen says:
It’s hard reading these experiences. Very unfortunate. Thank you for posting.
Ham says:
I was moving my girlfriend’s phone off the bed the other night when I noticed a reply to a Craigslist ad she posted for Feb and I’m pretty tore up I don’t know what I should do next monthwould be four years and we live together how do I confront her
Ash says:
My husband was always suspicious of me when I was on the phone. He would accuse me of cheating a lot. Told me trust is very important to him. His behavior was extreme so I became more and more convinced he must be doing something to be so paranoid. He told me I could look at his phone because he had nothing to hide. Lo and behold he is liking tons of girl “friends” slutty pictures on instagram. I told him previously it was a problem for me and he assured me it was nothing. Then he accuses me of something because I was on my phone alone in our room. This time I find something from a “friend” who sent bikini pictures and very flirtatious messages. She has a boyfriend. She knew we were engaged. He joked about her being his second woman. Made me feel sick. (He is Brazilian. Is it common for them to be so possessive but prone to cheating themselves?)
He tells me that nothing is going on and I am constantly searching for problems to mess things up. I think I married a narcissist and I feel stuck. I want to give him commitment because that is what I think marriage is about. I have no trust in him. He denies everything. Sees nothing wrong with what he did. I am really hurting. Probably acted out in a way that was not mature but the situation was extreme and I did not know how to handle it. Be wary of people that are so paranoid of you cheating. I knew he had to be up to something. Perhaps nothing physical happened. Emotional cheating is hard as well.
Khan says:
I have been in a relationship with my gf for almost 6 years now. We started online and has been like that for the majority of the time we have been together (5 years) now that we are finally are able to get together for real sometimes she found some conversations (sex talk, flirting and cybersex) that I had with another girl for a whole year in my facebook archives. This all happened on the last day before she had to go back so we are now talking mostly through whatsapp and skype.
Now obviously she felt betrayed and hurt and it hurt me deeply too, to see her like that. I have felt guilty for years but never told her to prevent her from getting hurt. I would rather carry around this burden/weight on my concious with me for the rest of my life instead of seeing her get hurt by it is what I was thinking but I even failed miserably at that.
We are still together and some days are good and some are just hell, at first I thought I deserved it because I hurt her and thought she was saying all of those hurtfull things because she was really emotional and the wound was still fresh.
But it has been a couple of weeks now and it is still the same, one moment she is nice to me and then an hour later she brings it all up again, and says that I am the worst thing to happen to her and that she want to really kill that other girl and that she hates me. Now like I said at first I thought I deserved it but is it really normal for this to go on this long? And am I wrong for taking a stand and say ”enough is enough, I am not gonna bend over and take this abuse anymore”?
Every single time we are at a breaking point she says she loves me, and I still love her so much too and how I can’t imagine a future without her. I tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am but she says those are just words.
And even if we seem to be getting better at the end of a whole day of arguing, she just starts it all over again the next day.
I am at a loss, nothing I say or do seems good enough anymore but when I ask her if she wants to break up with me after she says those horrible things then the answer is still no. I just want to move on together with her and I don’t want to stop fighting for her.
But when you feel like as if she doesn’t even want you to fight for her anymore, I feel it just loses all meaning. And even though I am the one who started this whole mess, I am also the one who has thoughts creeping in of breaking up with her after almost a month of stress and arguing and mental abuse.
I just needed to tell my story somewhere, any advice is welcome and sorry for the long post.
casp says:
Im in a similar situation. I dated a guy for three years and he’s cheated on me multiple times so we took a year break and got back together. Teo days ago I called it off because he did it again. But we constantly argue because yes I bring up the past because it still hurts but I do care and love him. He cries and apologizes but it is a very iffy situation on whether staying or leaving. Right now I am clearing my mind. If you truly believe that you two can somehow get past the past then you should stay with her BUT also remind her that she is not forced to be with you. Although yes it is difficult to walk away. I myself I’m thinking of what I should do. Help him and stay or just continue ignoring him
Mike says:
Been with her for 5 years now, 2,5 living together. Help raise her daughter from age 7 now she’s 12. I treated her like my own. We did had a rough patch before, but on February she told me she was seeing someone else for quite some time. We had some discussion, she told me that she loves me. After that it was better than ever. Everyday was perfect. Last sunday after nice day on a beach,while in bed she told me that she still thinking about him. I just stood up and left. I crashed at my friend house. We have a lease till March next year, so I was looking for new apartment yesterday, until I found out that she’s moving with daughter to his place on this Sunday. And she want to forfeit the apartment. So I guess I’m staying in the apartment 1200sqft included heat gas and water -$750. For Connecticut prices you can’t do better. My question is how to deal with all that. I know when I move back in while she be gone how to deal with memories, sadness, and worst part is that I blame myself for it. I still love her and hope that she be back. How to deal with hopeless??
ange says:
my bf cheating on me by going out with girls kissing but not sex lol he say he actually trying to know what woman is like and he will never cheat on me meaning sex with someone else cause once you love someone ts hard for another wman to turn him on wit out love 3 times he cheated on me move to another location just hanging out with girls and trying to tell me he did not. what the man take me for i wounder need answer ??? treu? false?
Ton Deuse says:
Salvage what relationship? There is no future nor a time out, cheating to me is one of those unforgivable things that irreversibly break things way past the normal human lifespan.
hope says:
My fiance and i have been together for about almost 3 years. We were suppose to get married in December. Our relationship for about a year was pretty unhealty. i never wanted to leave and neither did she. I never treated her right and disrespected her on countless occasions and never would listen to her. The night of my birthday i had pushed her and humilated her infront of all of our friends. A few days later she said she couldnt take it anymore and left. There was alot of grey area. Well while she was gone she ended up meeting someone. I found the evidence a few weeks after my birthday. We continued to stay separated but she said she wanted to work it out and go to counseling. I recently found out durning the time we were still apart but after i found out she cheated on me, she sent the girl flowers. She is living back home now and we are still going to counseling. She said she has completley cut it off with the girl but i just dont know and im very hurt
Chen Jayden says:
My wife also cheat on me , man I felt I wanna die . There is no language I can describe. I found out her chat history accidentally. Actually I work locally she work upstate, so she went home one a week. We have two kids . Don’t know what to do now
Aakash Soni says:
In my suitation there is all gud bt now she is saying that she want to breakup because her now for her parents are more important and she dont want to cheat her parents as well she is saying that she want to be my gud frnd forever and also she feel insult in saying about me as a bf
Gill says:
My girlfriend cheated on me at a work party extremely drunk with a coworker and I don’t know what to do
Jason Chettri says:
i had a perfect relationship of 3 & half years and then she went to calcutta for her studies and i was all alone i felt like i was left out and after few months she started to ignore me she blocked me in instagram, whatsapp and even put my phone no in reject list then all of sudden a guy txted me saying stop calling his gf i was mad but the fact was that guy was from the same college where my gf was studying iam feeling so down right now and i dont know what to do???
Stuart Breegle says:
ok here goes i never done this but any help would be appreciated. In Oct of 2014 my wife passed away at 42 suddenly devastated me, for about 6 months i was very alone so went on dating sites and found a girl i started dating. Way to soon i know now. well to make a long story short after a few months i moved her in with me and things i thought where going ok, by the way by me moving her in it helped her 100 times financially and i pay all the bills and ask her for no financial support at all. So i find out in August after we had a argument a red flag went off to check dating sites and wham there she was on the one we met on, Since February meeting guys behind my back at least 6 to 10. and oh yea she was married 3 times before and never ever talks about her past and gets mad when i ask her to. so i cleared my head and the next day confronted her about it and she said it was my fault i was pushing her away by not getting over my wife. well then i found her on at least 8 more sites and her texts messages where very detailed and she admitted to meeting guys for attention i wasn’t giving her blah blah blah. So since then i put my life on hold and have done nothing but work on this relationship trying to move forward and yes i put 99 percent of my baggage down about my wife because i know how i was and it was very hard to let go. After being Married 24 years in a 100% trustful marriage. I linked out FB accounts and said no more hiding her phone and no secretes. Well I’m having a really hard time trusting her again even though she says she’s not doing anything. I’m not sure but i think she may be a serial cheater from everything i read. She say she can just shut her mind off and not think of anything like she has no guilt and can act like everything is great. when we talk she always says I’m rehashing what happened. WONDER WHY!! I lost 25 Lbs in 3 weeks over this krap and I’m sick of being sick over it. its been over 2 months now and I’m still trying but i got this bad feeling its just a matter of time before she does it again. there is a lot more i could tell you but i wont bore you. any thoughts or advice would be great. Thanks.
Robyn says:
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, he’s done various things in the past year (messaging girls/saving there numbers/social media names to add later on etc) in August he went on holiday with his dad his cousin and there 2 friends for 5 days, I thought everything was perfect before he left, During the holiday he added a girl from his cousins phone and they obviously began to talk (this was on an app he had swore he never had) and obviously just downloaded it while he was on holiday… I was completely oblivious of this until 1-2 weeks after his return, we was driving in his car and he’s music was playing – he got a FaceTime call from a number saved under ‘A’ and I obviously questioned him he said he didn’t know so I accepted the call and to my surprise was a young girl in her bra as soon as she saw me she disconnected the phone. I tried to ring but there was no answer so I text her from his phone saying who is this, she claimed it was the wrong person.. I was going crazy at my boyfriend trying to get the truth from him we finally got to his friends house I tried calling her again the female refused to speak to me and my boyfriend was on the phone to her screaming saying ‘who the F are you how dare you lie about me’ ‘I don’t know you, I have a girlfriend’ I was crying so much I had to walk away for a breath – but when I walked away he begged her not to tell me I woke up to a message from her the next morning with her telling me everything he had said he told her he wanted ‘a serious relationship’ and asked for nude photos it honestly crushed me- he had told her she wasn’t allowed to save any of his messages she had mentioned to me she found this suspicious- she literally told me all the things he was saying to her and while he was on holiday he was being so nice to me. Earlier in the day before I had found out he had never been more horrible to me, he made me get in his car was driving ridiculously fast telling me my mother and father think I’m a liability and they hate me and I also suffer with depression and had tried once before to commit suicide- he even said that they wouldn’t have cared if I did and that no one would care apart from him, as we came to a set of ref lights I tried to get out the car and he grabbed me by my neck, the way he looked at me was not the person I fell in love with, he was so different this day and later in the day is when the female face timed him while we was in the car together, She told me the next day that that day he was begging to meet her but she was busy. This is obviously why he was so evil to me. I don’t know what to do because I haven’t loved anyone more than him – it’s now November and last month I found him watching loads of porn online and texting one of those sex people things, We’ve argued so much since and I think it’s the underlying issue that how much pain he caused me I just can’t forgive him I would never be unloyal to who I have made a commitment too- I’ve tried to leave him quite a few times since and he blackmails me by saying degrading things about my body and that no one would want me, he also says so much that he will ‘bait’ me and post pictures of me online, he’s told me to die after trying to commit suicide and told me no one would care if I did, he is always saying things about my body which I now completely hate, I’m so stuck and I don’t know what to do he was everything I would’ve ever asked for in the first year of our relationship, I don’t even know who he is anymore – he says if he can’t have me no one can, He’s stopped me from seeing all of my friends but 1 and even then I’m not allowed to go out she will have to come to my house, during arguments if I try to defend myself to hurt me he tells me he’s cheated on me with 9 girls all are ‘so much better’ than me, he says I’m a ‘bed warmer’ and asks me ‘how his other girls taste’ he does whatever he likes when he likes and I feel he just sees me as his possession now. A number of times when I have tried to leave him he tells me he’s going to kill himself he has even cut my name and lots of other things into his legs and sent pictures to me, he’s text his mum saying ‘you won’t see me again and to thank my girlfriend’ I honestly don’t know what to do I haven’t told anyone. I am so stuck and so lost
TheHopeLine® says:
It sounds like you are in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. All of the manipulation and cheating is a reflection on his character. You may need help leaving him. Do you have someone you can trust and tell about what is happening? We are here for you 24/7 to help you work through a plan of escape and to provide resources. Click the “chat now” button to start the conversation with a HopeCoach.
Nazarizadeh says:
It was really hard for to be cheated on from girl i really loved. most hurting issue was when you face with a past now you know was a lie. Its really hard to trust someone, love her and start to be open with her, and she just love you that loose to break down with smallest daily problems every couple dealing with everyday. She told me i was always at work and she was just making friends!!! and one of these friends… 🙁
She knew my only motivation for work was her, to improve our life. god knows she knew.
February says:
My girl cheat on me, few days ago she said she going back to her sister house but turns fthat she going to meet with the guy she cheat with, luckily Her phone left in my car and I drove away and there I saw her chat and i read everything, that how i know she cheating on me. Then I just play her game, but the pain is there, what should I do?
Ruj says:
My gf of 2 and a half almost 3 next month. we have been staying together all the time since last week that I move out, I had catch she have been cheating on me for 3 time already. she always said that they all just friends which I believe her at first but since the time past I realized that it not just friend, one guy had calling her at night to going for drink. that is the first time I starting to discover that this guy isn’t just a regular friend, they both have some feeling to each other for long time ago before she come to staying with me which she say now we are just friend. and that time I have a fight with her to stop talking to this man and I said that she have to broke or unfriend this guy in facebook then she say she will do but until now she never unfriend or broke this guy from facebook. and last 3 weeks I catch her talking with other guys and that man ask who are you staying with?? she answer with sister which it me she lie that I am her sister which actually I am her BF. Now she asking for a chance which she I think she will change, what should I do i really don’t know pls anyone advise me.
zack says:
I just found.out that my girlfriend of 9 years has thought about cheating on me with a new friend.of ours. She tried hidding it but Ive been through it in other relationships and im not stupid I got her to admitt aleast that im giving her the benefit of the doudt that physically she hasn’t done anything is all been a mix of emotions for the both of us just not sure about the next step to take someone please help.
TheHopeLine® says:
It is really great that the two of you are talking about it. Good open truthful communication is a really important part of a healthy relationship. We have a free eBook on cheating that the both of you could read through together. It talks about building trust and about what causes cheating and more. Here is the link – http://info.thehopeline.com/relationshipscheating-ebook
Colton Choate says:
My girlfriend cheated on me yesterday. I want to kill myself. Someone please help me
TheHopeLine® says:
Colton, It’s important that you talk to someone about how you are feeling. You deserved better and we care. Please chat online with one of our HopeCoaches that will listen and help you through this at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp.
fahad says:
hi guys i know most of u wont be interested in my story. But i liked a girl we started to talk and after a few weeks she told she was divorced. I was heart broken but i though hey i liked her when i did know this how can i say no to her when i got to know her now. After this i started to love her more then before. I wanted to make up for other things that happened to her in past. Surely i made mistakes but i did what i could for her. She was bipolar when we were in 3rd year of med school. That was hardest time for us. All of sudden some days she used to asked me to pray she didn’t got pregnant. And i used to laugh like wtfff? How i didnt even touch u. Years went by and we went back to our countries for house job in hospitals. And i was mad and sad about that, I started to be upset and we had arguments and those argument led to fight. We went back and forth. One she will b all fine next day a stranger. Then after couple months she said she need time to think anyways we stopped talking. I got to know from my friends thats she is talking to other people but when i used to ask her she used to say im not and im studying for exams. Anyways i love her so much that i never said a word about it. I loved her so much that i got to know that she cheated on me many times thats y she used to say PRAY IM NOT PREGNANT. Today i got to know this its horrible for me. I gave everything to that girl just cos hse was broken she said she is happy that she got divorced so she found me and i made her love life again. now i know she is there living happy life and me here thinking crying and imagining her.
Betrayed and confused says:
I found out a few days ago that my boyfriend of 10 years has been having a 6 month affair at his place of work. A few days ago he crossed the line and brought her into our home and into our bed whilst I was out at work and he had a day off. He let me sleep in the sheets they used, and I only found out a day later when I found her stuff around the room, which she’s quite clearly left around the room for me to find (lipstick around the sink, ring in the bed, hair clip on the dresser) He let me find out from the things she left. It turns out that she has two children and is desperate in her own life. After a lot of soul searching, I realise that neither of us were happy and I always had to cope with his mental health issues when he was depressed, and it all got too much for me. I could never cheat on a person, and no one will believe that he has done this to me and also to himself. I don’t know how to deal with the betrayal of the 6 months. I feel his shame and filth has encroached on my life and is trying to drag me down with it. I don’t know how to pull myself out, because the details of the betrayal and the personal violation are destroying me. Does anyone have any advice?
Tim says:
Hey my gf cheated on me because I was always accusing her of so she had never done anything t till now I feel like it was my fault for pushing her that far but I also feel hurt wat should I do
Gwen says:
I think my ex cheated on me while we were dating. We broke up back in July but we were still living together until the end of October when we both moved out into different places. Throughout those months we would sleep together on and off and we joked around saying that we became friends with benefits. After the move out, I tried to stay in contact because he says that we would get back together in time. We broke up because we were fighting a lot and we agreed that we both needed space to grow. I saw him a couple of times and he’d flirt with me and made it seem like he wanted me. I didn’t want to rush him but I wanted him back. But I decided I’d wait til he was ready to get back together. And now just recently I found out he’s been seeing someone for awhile. He got my hopes up, broke my heart and didn’t even care. He showed no sympathy, lied even after I caught them out together. How do I move on? This is my first break up and I’ve dated him for 6 and half years, we even talked about marriage. I’m going crazy…. plz help….
Anonymous says:
Contemplation is the cousin of an action
bol says:
i saw my Girlfriends picture on another guys IG ans she told me she is modeling shoes for the guy, The guy also posted a picture with my girl friend on her birth day, eve posted another picture of the guy and my girlfirnd on new year. Still my girl friend is telling me that she is not the person posting the picture, she said the guy is crushing on her. What should i do ??
Seyie says:
My girlfriend who was 1 year younger than me was with me in relationship a few years ago… Then she started to get affairs with some other guy who is one of my friend. I don’t have anything to do but I still pray for her and I will continue to pray for her until I get her back….
Sakti Ra says:
Lately my gf cheated on me after one year relationship , I found out she was with her ex bf for four years while being with me . She was going out late night lately saying that going to meet her relative and I followed her car then it was her ex bf house . I have called him and tell him the situation then both of us confronted infront, then she says she wants her ex BF . After few days she came back to me saying that it was her mistake and ask for forgiveness I was angry at first and scolded her for doing bad to me then I accept her after few weeks she is still blaming me saying that it’s not more the same and I am treating her bad but to be honest I am trying my best and she says that she starts to hate me . And I found out yesterday she is using another phone and was online till morning . To be honest I don’t know what to do …
Becca says:
The boy I’ve been dating for 2 years have told me that he has feelings for another woman. But he doesn’t love her as much as he loves me (He said this in his own words). I’m not sure what to do. I am in so much pain.. He has cheated on me before but that was over a year ago and he tried his very best to regain my trust and when I almost trusted him fully he goes to tell me this.. I confronted him about her and he didn’t hesitate to admit his wrong doing. I don’t know anymore. Ugh.
Zeth says:
My gf and i are in a live-in relationship, its almost been 2 years now. Lately i found out that she has been cheating on me, with some dude back home. Its not the first time she has done this, earlier as well something like this happened and she promised she wouldn’t do it again. So i thought ill give her another chance, day before yesterday her phone was pinging continuously so i just checked who it was and this dude who she has been talking to over instagram and WhatsApp was the one pinging her. i read all the messages and found out this has been going on since the first of march and i was being lied to since then. i want to leave the place but i can’t because my name is on the lease and so is hers. i am going through this mental trauma where i see her talking to that dude all day all night, we sleep on the same bed yet she doesn’t feel ashamed about any of this. I don’t know what to do please i need help please!!!!
Mr Kenn says:
dude. i know that feeling…. what i did was to get her phone and burn all her stuff when she go out with him. she promised to stop cheating but she still does ways to communicate with the other guy. well i guess its our trauma for still staying in this relationship
Cormac says:
My girlfriend cheated on me and went and kissed her ex she then lied to me what do I do should I break up with her or give her another shot?
Cresly Adam Bardon says:
My girlfriend cheated on me. To think that she would meet with another guy when we were on our date. A date that we planned because it is our day off. When I saw them, I told her that we’re done. She tried to say something but I don’t really know what she tried to say. I just turned around and walk away. Good thing I have martial arts. It is my hobby. I just every time off I have from work practicing. But my friend told me she is crying and asking for them to talk to me.
Jerry Barton Jr says:
How to get the evidence that you can show them that you know because they deny no matter what
gold villaespin says:
How can I know if he really loves me??? Ive been in a relationship wid dis man for 10mos. And I just found out dat d rumors is true, he has a gf living together turning 3yrs now. And he told me he doesnt love his gf and he loves me more, and I just give him time little by little til everythings turn to be okey. What should I do den??? I love him so much.should I leave him or stay???
apublic2012 says:
I’ve been in the relationship for 3 years. I am currently away from my gf (for 12 days). On the 5th day she told me that she slept with this guy that she met at a party she went to and said that she was really sorry. She said that she was sad and drunk.
I said that I didn’t want to break up with her, that this is a real breach of trust and we agreed to work on it. This morning (6 days later) she told me that she slept with the guy again. Again the crying and remorse and asking for forgiveness and to fix.
I feel ridiculous. Anyone had something like this?
Lou says:
Sack her off mate. Once a cheat always a cheat. Being drunk is no excuse, we’ve all been drunk but we know exactly what we’re doing!
two chainz says:
I feel B. I have long distance relationship. Had exact same thing happen to me. Exact thing…. It kills. I’m still not sure what to do. But I know this, Put yourself first, at night you have to go to sleep and let your mind and body rest, will you be able to do that with her. put yourself first you deserve it.
Juan says:
Same situation here mate…..just realized my girlfriend of 3years cheated on me …we’ve been apart for just 7 days and now she slept with a guy claiming she was drunk
and got her pregnant i feel like walking away right now…..just can’t take this
Leon Knott says:
My gf cheated on me with the very guy i told her not too. Told her if she did it would kill me….she swore she wasnt like that and never do it…..meanwhile the whole time she was chaeting with him. She kept doing it even after. I told her it would kill me. Well inside anyway…
Im sure she only stopped couse other people were knowing.even after she stopped i asked her why she didnt stop after our conversation…and what it would do to me…she just said. I dont know what to tell you. Couse i dont know…….what do i do. We have a baby together…and they did it acting like nothing was going on eveb when we all hung out together
MANISH CHAUBEY says:
hey, i don’t know that what is going on in my life…my gf talks to me very well but when i ask for meeting,she tells “i can’t……”sir plz tell me what to do,we have met lots of time but now days ……
Lou says:
My ex cheated on me at uni countless times. When I asked her straight up if she had, she looked me in the eye and swore on her life she’d never do such a thing (she didn’t know I had seen her out with the new guy)… my previous ex girlfriend also cheated on me at uni. So now I have a new girlfriend who’s gone to uni and swears blind she’d never do such a thing. Do I trust her, or assume she’s like every other slime ball out there?
Shubham Roy says:
We are about to get married its a arrange marriage we are in touch since may will be getting married by nov and now her saying is that she loves some one else whom she knew by her childhood although thr was nothing earlier but now she has realiszed that she loves her and is missing so badly that she wants to meet her in diwali and hug him
What should i do shall i accept it or let her go
Or i should take a step to make everything well and replace that guy ?
two chainz says:
I Have been shattered by my significant other. She cheated on me, and I forgave. I know she has been through so much this year. We connect on a spiritual and mental level, I feel in love with her laughter and sweetness, never once disrespected her in any way shape or form. I have been dedicated given her my time, my loyalty, my everything, I drain myself everyday for her .She has very low self esteem and low confidence. We currently are in a long distance relationship, she’s in SF and I’m in SD. I forgave her again, and then I moved on. And I did. But she cheated on me again. I loved her for her spirit and I contuine it give it my 100%. I am very confused, hurt, and have been so broken/shattered
DylMulroo says:
My girlfriend cheated on me twice with someone at uni before I moved up then lied to me about it a tonne of times before finally telling me. I caused a scene and ended up beating the crap out of the guy she did it with and it made me feel better. I don’t know whats gonna happen, but the closure of that area feels a lot better than shying away and allowing it. I doubt he will come anywhere close again judging by his face after the ordeal
Geetanjali says:
what to do with a person who is cheating back of u.and in front behaving good sweet like honey
Bra Pizaro says:
My girlfriend has cheated on me but she wants to keep it a secret.. What should I do..
Cheche says:
Pls I need advise concerning what to do I caught my boyfriend in bed with a girl and he claims because a guy from my department in school took me out to a restaurant that’s why he cheater
jayant_raju says:
My gf and I had a long distance relationship for a year or so and everthign was going so well. Until she decided to cheat on me and sleep with a guy for two months for about ten times until she realized she did a mistake. Now she accepted and feels sorry for it. What is the best thing for me to do now? We were both perfect and we know it. Do I let go of her rash decision made or sack her and move on??
Lorcs says:
So my girlfriend cheated on me last week with her ex. She has depression and anxiety and lots of family issues but that sort of made us closer. Last week she went round to her ex’s house and cheated on me, but she did stop half way through and leave. She thought their meeting was just going to be as friends but it escalated and she didn’t know how to stop. She told me today but I just don’t know how to react. Do I salvage this or just let it go. She means a lot to me
Supratik choudhury says:
I have been in a relationship with a girl since last three 4 years in which she had already ditched me once but my friends consoled me n i was living my life happily until she came back to my like again n i accepted her but because of my education i had to leave my hometown…dn again thinga started to go bad as i could not giv her so much time now she jst told me that their is another guy in her life…and i feel helpless and cant even go to seek hlp from my friends as they had warned me not to hookup with dat girl anymor…i dnt knw wat to do…im depressed n i a lot of pain
Larry says:
I’ve got 6 kids with my gf. We’ve been together for 11yrs. I caught her and her best friend talking to guys on the phone. She been really distant and never initiates intimacy. She is always drained when I want to do something together. Whenever anyone else wants to hangout or hangout she’s always attentive. I never attempt to cheat. I’m young and I’m not bad looking. I ignore women’s advances all the time. I’m starting to feel stupid. As if maybe I should start looking elsewhere. I’ve tried to put the spark back in our relationship but I’m not sure I can. I need help.
Zaid Mulla says:
I have been in a relationship for 5 years and i had dated 3 girls I wanted to know why they all cheated on me but i just couldn’t because they would run away when they saw me,one of the 3 girls that left me asked if i wanna get back together with her and i thought this time it would go better but i found out that she was cheating on me and apparently my e went to his house and she lost her v card and i was so heartbroken that i just couldn’t deal with life but i got help and they tought me alot of useful things
bapi says:
my gf had a relationsp of 3 years with a guy next to her home.that guy has all the right as a son at her home as she introduced him as a brother to her parents.but she cheated on him few times and never let him know.but after she came with me she confessed everything to me and for the first time she told her bf about our relationship.that time it was quite a love triangle. at the very begining she wanted both of us in her life,but me and his ex never agreed,so she deceided to leave her ex and be with me. she was happy with me,after 4 months she came to know that her ex was dating a girl. Then she started cheating on me,she forced her ex to have sex again and did it twice.when I came to know ,she left me and after few days when I stopped crying infront of her and decided to move on,she was behaving like she would die if I leave her. now she cries a lot and try to make me understand that she only loves me and she had sex with her ex just because she was jelous. She promised me she will never cheat me .I love her,I am withe her. but cant accept her sometimes.when she kisses me,I feel her lips are not that same I would kiss,she has been trying a lot to help me to build our relationship healty again.but I am afraid if she does it again and again.
matt says:
hi there
I have been dating a girl for 2 and half years. We our both performers and sometimes go away for work. I have worked away many times and I help her get her first performing job aboard. we were fine for a few weeks then she asked to go on a break I asked are we still exclusive she reply “yes of course”. So I give her space. we talk now and again and she send me thing over FB and whatsapp about how she loves me and misses me and tags of what boyfriends do for girlfriends tags. (like month to buy your girlfriend a puppy)
This started in April. so 4 months ago =. we are now talking more and she tells me to come see her aboard and she helps pay for the tickets. I go out for a week and find out she was talking another guy she meet at the begin. I find out they have kissed and that’s it. I asked her about stuff which she lies about. she also slept with 3 times while I was out there. I arrive home and she sends me letter on how she loves me so much. I respond and get a message about how she has been not had sex with the guy has done a lot on one occasion. I don’t know how to to repond or even if I should she has lied alot even I gave the chances to admit it and also kept me on a string for four months. I dont know what to do or to even talk to her. any advice please x
Christopher Huitt says:
My girlfriend of 2 1/2 months feel in love really quick I love her and she says she loves me we stay two hours apart we will see each other every other weekend but one weekend she got mad at me for no reason blaming me for things. Usually she will call me early in the morning tell me she loves me with text me 7:00 PM telling me she loves me then at 10:30 we talk on the phone for hours now I hear nothing unless I call her then she gets upset saying that I’m clingy or she was tired for the reason she didn’t call lately I’ve been having bad feelings like premonition feel and I’ve never here before even when we didn’t talk for a day I feel like someone else is giving my time but she tells me She loves me that she’s working late hours now she’s got a personal trainer but working with a group something is not right I work two jobs and I still make time for her a text or call but I don’t receive the same in return what should I do
sanath says:
take her out on a vacation, and make her feel nice and talk to her with honesty and ask her whats on her mind and whats wrong with the relationship
OMOLE AYOTUMDE says:
I have been dating my girl friend for over 4 years now, late last month I discover that she as another boyfriend she was dating and having sex with each other please in this situation what can I do help out
Mkay says:
Bro leave her and move on…there are lots of girls more waiting for a guy like you
afolabi says:
she leave me and follow my friend
baradum barigborto says:
what if it happens that calls from a particular person normally comes in always late in the night
Natalia says:
Hi guys my name is Natalia Im dating my boyfriend for 6mouths I thing my boyfriend likes his ex again what to do now
brat says:
Hello natalia , if your bf started dating back to his ex then one of the thing you can do is simply leave him no matter how hard it is, the reason for split is for you self worth and not to ruin your productive time I also suffer from same and it took one year to overcome it
sanath says:
please dont get caught up in a love triangle
leave him
Ladytat says:
Hi my best friend has been flirting with my boyfriend , and I believe she has been trying to split us up . I confronted her and she denied it and started crying ?
Austin Ray says:
Please what should I do? My girlfriend just cheated on me yesterday, She want for a party and they start the game of T & D and she give some guys a BF after she got drunk and the she slept with one of the guys at night ☹️ this is so so heart broken I feel so bad right now because she has been a girl I love with all my heart. Is she doing all this because I don’t really have money or what. What should I do now, we have been dating close to 3 years now
Sandeep says:
Hi
My girlfriend cheated me one month ago. We were in 5 years relationship. She told me herself about it and I accepted it first. They continued to have their relationship. But I am unable to take it anymore. She would say she is ready to stop everything with him for me if I wanted to and I am the one she wants. But I don’t wana look like a fool forcing her to do what she doesn’t want to do. I really want her back. This insecurity is killing me. I also doubt our relationship will get effected beyond heal if I force her to stop her sexual actions with him. They are colleagues so there is great chance she will lie to me and continue their relationship behind me if I ask to stop. If I gonna find this I don’t think I can handle it. I feel like I am gonna shattered beyond heal. I don’t have any friends with whom I can talk this. All my friends gonna judge her , they will push me to leave her. Which I don’t want. I want to accept him or push him away from her without our relationship getting effected much. Please someone help I don’t know what to do.
1hunnidd says:
5 years!! that’s quite something😃 but unfortunately people change and change is constant, you have to acknowledge that. Don’t blame her or feel bad about it, its just life. But just let it slide. The world is full of fish you just have to fish the right one. Please dont be a b*tch by staying with her. Good luck bro
Mahesh says:
Exact same thing has happened to me bro. Even I am in so much pain and sleepless nights. It’s tough but I am waiting for it to heals.
Anonymous says:
If your girlfriend really wants the relationship to work with you, she should leave her job since she works with the guy she cheated with. I give her a lot of credit that she told you about it. I just went thru the same thing, 6 year relationship down the tubes. You must communicate about it. Don’t let it take over your lives, but communicate how you’re feeling. If she’s worth it, you can and will trust her again. You’ll probably even forgive her, but mKe sure she knows(without making her feel bad) that you’ll never forget what she did. If she admitted it to you, she probably feels bad enough, and again, it was very mature on her part. If you reconcile with her and shortly afterwards she starts going out, working late, etc, – then she probably is still with the guy. Be careful. But most importantly, she must leave her job or there’s no sense in staying with her.
sainadh says:
seriously its the worst situation which as a human being we can’t control our self that feelings. i am not married but my girlfriend do the same to me. we both loved, sex , share feeling what not all but unfortunately she accepted another guy into her life. fine leave it that . you just do one thing directly told to her and just share u r feelings to her may be she will change .
dharniell says:
bro…if ur gf luvs u as she claims she wudnt cheat on u to ur face…she knws u luv her too much..nd wudnt leave her.. she’s playing on that…ill suggest u gv her space… first talk to her abt it…man up nd tell her hw u feel abt wat shes doin nd u don’t like it…then..gv her space..u wont die bro!!!..peace✌️
sanath says:
brother remember what she did has nothing to do with you, dont you ever put yourself through that, she cheated on you because of who she is it has nothing to do with you. dont feel insecure do what you feel is the right thing you already know what the right thing to do is do it believe in your gut and move forward brother
Mickey says:
Hi there
I’m in 6months relationship presently,I met her in my school.and I like her very much but as it is now thing isn’t interesting anymore.
Just this night we had usual relationship fight were i find out my girlfriend was cheating on me,when I confront her she blame me for everything.though we have resolved it.
My question what’s my change of her still Loving me like she does?
Danone NLW says:
You know who you are and no one can chage that men so if she dose not feel love for you men pliz i always say this i live my own life and rule my own world so do the same
Lisa Jennings says:
Can you see help me out Because my men is cheating on me and i did to fine out because i will do some thing so bad and i do not want to get hurt
Anon says:
Hello.
I’ve been in a relationship with this girl for two years. About a few months into the relationship I found out she cheated on me. We worked it put and after suffering for a few months I forgave her. I thought things were gonna work out and in the mean time I joined the army. At the time I joined I wasn’t in a healthy state of mind and thought that infantry was the best choice. At the time I made the decision I was dealing with some tought times aside from my girlfriend. I had lost my father who also served and thought the best way to pay him back was to fight and hopefully die in the service. But when j had met my girlfriend and we had fallen in love, I decided that maybe dying was over rated. I submitted a vr (voluntary release) and went home, hoping to change my trade to something that wouldn’t likely result in me dying. During training inf I told everyone about my girl and told them that I was going to propose to her when I got home to avoid any awkward times at the bar in base when talking to a girl. I came home and shortly after planned a trip to see my girlfriend. (Long distance) I made the trip to her place for the fourth or so time to see her. I planned to return to the forces in a few months with a safer job but recently found out that she cheated on me a second time about a year ago form the person she did it with. I told her before that if she was just honest about it we wouldn’t break things apart, but now I’m stranded in her country and state, drunk out of my mind in the guest bedroom while she avoids me in her room. I already broke things off but was wondering how to move on from this.
TLDR and too incoherent, how do I feel better from this nasty break up? Thanks. M.
Si says:
Same for me bros, same for me. Im overseas on base and I literally just found out shes messing with my friend back home. I had my suspicions but i literally just had it confirmed in the most unfortunate way. Sounds, visual, the works. Just do what i doing – be thankful you see the reality and truth. Move on, there are so many more out there. Marriage and 1 chick is just a dream – reality – women cheat and they will look in your eyes and make you think youre crazy. youre not. I have that feeling in my stomach, too. The feeling of i just got crapped on. You only want to stay together to prove a point to yourself. you like the chase. move on to fresh grounds, and hunt something new. You never know, you may find that one in a million who wnt mess around with people after a couple of beers or lie to your face.
You did the right thing, dont doubt it, dont be weak. Just get to bed, think of your dream girl, when you wake up get out of there and dont think what could have been and dont keep the feeling of betrayal. People will crap on you time and time again. Stay strong bros, she isn’t worth it. But find one that is.
Trinity De La Rosa says:
Go out with a girl that loves you more than your other girlfriend did.
Eddy says:
Well, my girl of 3 years calls it friends or sometimes dating. Im not sure what we are because i think she is probably seeing other people but i guess when it come to confront her she will say, why do you care were friends remember. Im confused and i think this is where most of our problems start.
Steve says:
I caught my girl red handed , totally destroyed me. Nearly a year has passed and I still do not fully understand her reasons. Luckily I have great friends who have pulled me through what has been the most difficult time of my life
Trinity De La Rosa says:
I know how you also feel don’t let those girls get to you like that tell them how you feel then break up with them.
Xay says:
dawg i really loved this girl and she just goes and cheats on me
Alien says:
What is cheating? My bf of 3-4 yrs went out with another woman to “talk” at a bar with her sister and man. He knew i was uneasy about this woman and when i asked him about her. He would get mad.. Right after their night out he broke up with me. Never knowing about that night we got back together and i found out months later. And i found out even more. He was talking flirting with other women asking for sexy pics and i would find searches for sexy women and porn. it crushed my heart. He says he kept other women around so that if i seen other other wanting him i wouldnt leave him. And the he says you can search it online. Needless to say i googled it. And it was completely wrong the way he used this excuse. Then he uses my schooling as an excuse. Saying he wanted me to breakup with him so he wasnt holding me back from school.. He says he never followed through with anything with any women and that since nothing happened its not cheating. Ive been hurt angry sad and depressed and i cant get a truth out it seems. Its tearing me apart not knowing and wanting to move forward..
Suzy says:
I’m pretty much going through exactly what you are talking about, except my bf doesn’t know that I know what he is doing behind my back. I stumbled upon his text messages one day completely unintentionally, as I have never been the spying, snooping kind. I was so shocked and shattered to find out that he texts and chats with multiple women on a regular basis, and I am not sure if he has even met some of them behind my back. He’s also in constant touch with his ex… I have not let him find out that I know about this, and things are going okay between us at least exteriorly, but this is killing me slowly. I don’t know for how much longer I can keep this mask on my face. Am I a joke to him? Or an easy access? He does seem to care about me, but now it’s like I have not known him at all, in all these years of us being together. Sorry for ranting, but I am seriously disturbed and don’t know what to do. I’m terrified to confront him as I suck at confrontations….
Trinity De La Rosa says:
I know what your feeling because my ex boyfriend Shawn turned his back on me and left me falling apart he did nothing to help me put myself back together.
Trinity De La Rosa says:
Why do some boys just turn their backs on their girlfriends when their girlfriends what to give them love but they don’t want that they want more then love so they probably just do it to hurt the girl their dating.
Kj black says:
I found out my gf cheated on me after 4years of relationship…I had a hard time sponsoring her education and during her finals she cheated on me and I had these dream that she’s going to cheat on me which I eventually called her to let her know but she laughed about it and it happened afterwards… feeling sad but still am happy bc I have accepted my fate and decided to focus on something new.”heartbreak” is nasty
Never Look Back says:
I feel for you. I was with this girl Jill 36 boy mom and everything was going great until I found out that she had cheated on me 6 times. Obviously I ended things, but her new bf informed me that she now has genital warts
Lesley says:
I’m having a situation like this and I don’t know what to do , I need assistance , I love my man but I can’t get my mental health right thinking he might be cheating .
Lillian morgan says:
Hmmm