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How to Heal & Get Over a Broken Heart – 6 Steps

To Love or Not to Love? 

A lot of people read my blogs, not because I’m such a great blogger, but because the topic touches right where we live. Just about everyone reaches out to be loved, but love is full of risks. To love is to be vulnerable and therefore easily hurt by the people we love the most. God designed us to love, for He is love Himself. For us to not love others causes a certain death deep inside of us. I received a comment this week from an anonymous person.

He said,“I have a better piece of advice: Don’t ever fall in love in the first place. Just don’t do it. It always leads to heartbreak and it’s never worth it. If you never let yourself fall in love with anyone, then you will never have to worry about getting over a broken heart. It’s as simple as that.”

I DISAGREE with Anonymous. Being hurt is not the worst thing that will ever happen to us. Not to love is far worse.
So how do you get over a heartbreak that will most assuredly, at some point, come your way? I have come up with 15 ways to get over a broken heart. You can read the list here: 

The list includes warnings of things to avoid and ways to move on as well as things that will help you heal. In this blog, I am expanding on steps to help you heal.   

How to get over a heartbreak: 6 Steps to Healing a Broken Heart

 

1. Take heart. You will get through this.

Having your heart broken over a relationship is going to hurt, in part because of what heartbreak does to your brain, your body, and your mindset. You could lose your appetite, as well as your desire to do much of anything but lay in bed and ache.  It is possible that you may experience shortness of breath from crying. Your ribs may ache, and your eyes may swell. It’s almost like your heart will burst. Confusion might rule your brain. You might feel as bad as you have ever felt. It seems no one can help you.

But you will get through this. There are ways to move on after heartbreak. These intense symptoms begin to subside a little bit at a time, just not soon enough for you. The problem is you may be letting this one event blind you so you cannot see the good things happening in your life. Like the old retro song goes, “I can see clearly now the rain is gone.” There is a reason there are so many songs written about a broken heart. Consider the tens of millions who have gone through what you’re experiencing. They made it and so will you. So, take heart and hold on.

2. Talk to someone who cares.

I heard someone say once that 90% of good counseling is just talking out how you feel. It’s amazing how much better you feel when there’s someone you can talk to who totally understands what you’re going through. The person you are sharing your feelings with can help you feel less alone when everything feels hopeless. It’s kind of like when a guy gets hurt on the football field injuring his knee. Two of his teammates get around him and help carry him off the field. That’s what happens when you have a broken heart. When someone is there, they can help strengthen you when you hurt the most.

The people who suffer the most from heartbreak are those who have no one to help them. The wisest man in the Bible, King Solomon, said, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” So, find a friend or family member, someone you can trust to keep your secrets and talk it out. You’ll be glad you did.

“Talking to someone who you know, and trust will help you greatly. A pastor or just a great friend who maybe is older than you and has more experience with heartbreaks is wonderful. They tell you how they lived and moved on and help you out very much.” (Kaitlyn)

3. Allow yourself to be human and feel the pain.

One of the ways we know we are human and truly alive is that we feel pain. Going through a break-up can be very difficult. It’s hard to feel such raw emotions, especially when there’s no magic solution to make heartbreak go away. This proves we are human.

It is extremely important to let those raw emotions out. Find a safe place where you are comfortable and if possible, let the tears flow. It is our body’s way of ridding itself of the pain and hurt. There was a hit a while back called “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie. She’s wrong. Big girls are really healthy girls when they show emotion. Some people run from their hurts when really, they should embrace them. It’s only when we feel our pain are we able to honestly deal with it and move on. If we don’t, that pain will reappear somewhere else, usually in an unhealthy way.

“No one wants to be hurt, and when we are, our first instinct is to block it out. Unfortunately, the best ways to block something like that out is through destructive behavior like substance abuse, cutting, and the like. Even worse, the release doesn’t last, and you end up worse off than you were before.” (Jonathan)

4. Take your broken heart to God.

If you’re wondering how to get over the girl who broke your heart or how move on from your ex-boyfriend, you can turn to God for help. There are those who may think this bit of advice is needless. Nothing could be further from the truth. Here’s why.

You and I were created to love and be loved. When we get down to it, all we really want is to know there is someone who knows all about us and still loves us no matter what. Only God can love us this way. When we have that foundation of knowing we are loved no matter what, we can have the strength to face rejection from others. Only God can give us a deep sense of being loved because He always does, no matter what.

It says in the Bible, “I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” So go ahead. Tell God everything you feel about your broken heart. He is there to listen and to help heal you.

“It is very important to go to God after you’ve had a bad relationship. God is the ONLY one who will heal your broken heart.” (-Osman)

5. Give yourself time to heal.

If your heart has been broken, it will take time for you to completely heal. At the time of the break-up, almost everyone thinks they will never feel normal again. But God has designed us so we will heal from wounds. It’s amazing to see how our human spirit comes back again. Some people heal faster than others. Some people’s emotions go deeper than others. The deeper your emotions, the longer it will take to heal. But sooner or later you will begin to feel alive again and you will learn to accept this new feeling. Don’t fight the healing process and you will be on your way to smiling again in no time. So be patient with yourself. You will get through this.

“The best thing in the world for a broken heart is time. It’s going to hurt for a while and some days will be better than others, but you will eventually get over the person you lost.” (Lindsey)

6. Learn lessons from the experience.

It’s not if difficult things will happen to us. It is inevitable that they will. The question is can we learn from the experience? If we don’t learn, we will keep doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same response. So during this time of hurt, you might want to ask yourself some meaningful questions about your broken relationship. For example, did your relationship include these important things from both you and your partner:

  • Open communication
  • Sensitivity to each other’s feelings
  • Trust
  • Ability to see things from each other’s perspective

Answers to these and other questions can help you be a much deeper person, better equipped for your next relationship.
“It is always easy to remember that life goes on, no one promised it would be easy, but everything happens for a reason. And if it is something that will change your life, then let it.” (Brian T.)

Also, check out my other blogs – 5 Ways to Move Forward After a Broken Heart and 4 Things to Avoid to Save You From Further Heartbreak

  1. What if two people want to be together but can’t…it’s very detrimental to a persons heart…very confusing

    • Just keep praying. God exists and miracles do happen. God bless you!

  2. Thank you! Kepping busy is key! I hate dwelling on the goos memories because the bad is not the life I want!

  3. Sorry, my husband divorced me 3 years ago after a 3 year separation. Our daughters are grown and still have issues with the split and I can’t get past the pain! He has moved on, has a new wife (supposedly his one & only original true love), and moved out of state. I find it hard to care about anything or anyone. Spend most of my days crying and eagerly awaiting death from the very aggressive cancer I was diagnosed with recently.
    Hopeless

    • focus on your kids and yourself. Your daughters need your love as much as you need it yourself.
      Endure all the pain. Our hearts are designed to be broken into thousands of pieces. if you are reading this right now, you’re luckier than other people who needs these kinds of advice.

    • Pat it breaks my heart to read this. I too have a very serious cancer and like you just went through a heartbreaking experience and I feel like I’m going to die. I can’t openly express how I feel because it hurts and I just want get passed it. Instead of reacting in hurt I am pissed! I say that to say this, I understand where you are coming from truly! Please think of your children and try your best to get through this. My heart aches for you and I will be praying for not only a recovery for you but for a piece of mind. Stay strong and if you need anyone to talk to although you don’t know me I am here. The pain is temporary and this storm too shall pass.

      • That was so sweet of you. God bless.

    • Hi Pat, I am so sorry to hear this and it is heartbreaking. I still live with the father of my children and I still am legally married but emotionally we are done and it is just a matter of time before I move out. My split is kind of different. And I don’t want to blame anyone for this. I think we both are accountable for this failed marriage. I have depression and anxiety and besides taking medication, I listen to catholic/christian radio when I am driving, I pray, and I go to therapy every other week. I am also going to start the 12 step Al-anon program on Sunday. It used to be only for alcoholics but now it works for all kinds of issues including co-dependency and broken relationships. I know this is an excruciating pain but in the end you and I and everyone need to move on. I pray for your recovery and that God may comfort you. Please get help. It is ok to ask for help. God bless you.

  4. Wow…I am sitting here reading this blog and the comments below. .the fact that you have cancers is all the more reason for me to minister the healing power and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ! He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds! My “break up ” is a little different. .I was not married to the person who kinda,broke my heart. …I was simply “involved” to a degree. When I met this person they expressed interest..strong interest in my opinion in me.. he did things for me and tended to me like no other man ever had…it felt good..God told me not to open the door and Many nights I cried out to Him,to help me not to.but in the end I yielded to the flesh. and we played cat and mouse for the last four months..IT WAS NOT WORTH IT!!! satan came in and stole everything I had been belIeving God for and the guy left with his girlfriend. …yes I knew he had one….but my own lust for what I wanted entered in and blinded me ….I feel a whole lot better talking about it now…today God gave me a dream that he would go on with his girlfriend and I would be left. …but its okay. ..better to receive this warning and be able to leave cut and dry than to go on in foolishness and sin against God that could lead to a,whole lot worse. ..thanks for letting me get this out.. I feel 100% better and thanking God for my Victory! Now I can help others like you ladies and walk in my REAL Call of destiny!

    • OMG I’m so glad I found this blog, you have no idea. I read your story and I immediately felt a connection. I am recently divorced and during the ends of my marriage, I started seeing this guy. At first it was just a physical thing with no feelings involved, but he kept doing things to make our “thing” relationship like. I fought it for a while, but I kept seeing him because it felt so right. He eventually kept asking me to come over and even asked if i wanted to move in and I really considered it, but like something was not going to go right. So eventually I gave inland started acting as if I was his girlfriend, I practically lived there, we went to work together, gym, and even cooked together. Some times on the weekend we’d stay in locked up in our room watching movies, joking, and laughing all day. It was wonderful. But then, one day he told me that he didn’t want to hurt me, but he was still in love with his ex. I was hurt. My heart was crushed, but I sucked it up and told him it was over and that we could end this. He said he didn’t want to and went on about how he didn’t want to lose me and that he cared about me a lot but he was still in love with his ex. I decided that I would grab all of my stuff and leave. So I did. I told him that I understood what he was going through and that I totally understood how he was feeling and that he should talk to her and try to work it out. In the back of my mind, i didn’t really mean it, but I felt like that was what he needed to here. So over the next few days he continued to message me and tell me about how he might be making a mistake and it broke my heart even more. All I could think was that he was stringing me along. So I told him that we should both move on and he said we shouldn’t because he didn’t want to lose me. We talked and talked, but i don’t think either of us really expressed our true feelings because we only talked through text. Today we talked because he was going home to talk to her and I felt myself feeling rather bitter so I said some mean things. then I asked him to tell me the truth about things and he stopped replying. I figured it was because I had said a few negative things, but it truly broke my heart all over again. Now I’m just confused. I know I need to let him go completely, because he’s doing nothing but causing me grief, but I don’t know how to do it and I really have no one to talk to.

      • Feels good to have someone to talk to. Your story is helping me….let’s be chat friends

      • Be strong

    • I relate. I am in a stale lifeless marriage. Over 25 years. Christian woman too. I stepped out of my marriage for relief and comfort. Leaving me to do things I am not proud of. Claimed to get divorce when kids grew up and they have. Met someone he 6 myths ago,wasn’t interest but he pursued me.he assumed I was free because I am in a sense bcuz my husband won’t take me anywhere, spend time with me, gives no emotional or affection. Anyway, after a few mini dates I told my friend I was married but it was a dead marriage and I wanted a divorce. He was hurt but said we were OK and would go slow through it together. He was married for 20 yes divorced now for 4 yes. I thought things were fine until one week ago we were plannj g to do something special for my birthday, time passed a d he wouldn’t take my calls, I was confused. He answered my text saying he is careful not to get too involved with a legally attached person,and feels uncomfortable. I wasnt and not in love with in. But I felt we could build in that, he tells me to get my business straight, and he’s not saying goodbye, we will always be friends. I feel he deserted. I am trying to move on,dreading having a sad Christmas. Living a fake life around people.. Talk to me a anybody

    • It’s funny how you said God gave you signs in your dream… Now that I think about it God gave me signs too I wasn’t the other girl but the girl who my ex was cheating on me with knew about me the who year plus they were talking God would give me signs in my dreams too that he was still dealing with her let alone proof that I couldn’t deny on social networks love is powerful and can really blind you

  5. I read this blog and it helps me a lot. First and foremost allow me to tell you my story. I am a christian woman who is still moving on. I met my ex on Google when I browsed and his profile picture captured my attention since he is holding the bible.I told to myself I want to learn from this man because i think he is full of wisdom . In short I added him and he chatted me the same day too. he told me that he is from new zealand and looking for a wife. humbly speaking while on the conversation he find me beautiful and he think that i am a good girl for him which i acknowledged as a fault because i quickly jump into a relationship with him.The Bible says :for those who rush things are a fool and destruction at the end.
    I was blindly captured by his sweet promises during that time , we agreed that he will go to my country to meet me , but his mom decided to go last may 2015 to see me and she got a ticket for him and for his sister. I didn’t demand and told him that I think november is good so that we will know each other thoroughly but his mom insisted to visit me. as a human being I am excited also during that time and when I consulted my loved ones they were hesitant to agree for the idea since i didn’t know them well plus they came from different country , because I am a hardheaded and my feelings overruled me during that time i still insisted that it’s good and they are also a christian. my faults again were:they are oneness pentecostal who didnt believe in the trinity and the return of the Lord Jesus Christ but i still accepted it though I know the true doctrine of salvation. secondly , I didn’t researched about his past , about the girls that his family dumped as well. and lastly , i was overwhelmed that I forget the will of God in my life and din’t remember Him in the entire relationship and even committed lots of sins .
    They arrived here and we met , he promised a lot , marrying me , go back here again. He left with tears and so I am.He even promised to my family and friends.
    few days after he went back to his country , his patience towards communication became lesser and lesser , His decision relied always to his mom and dad, my mom and dad said , my parents told me. he has many ambitions , to have a beautiful home , lots of money and many more that suffocates me totally since i only want a simple life . until we had some arguments that ended up in crying for me and yelling on his part because i want to talk and he doesn’t .
    until one day that his parents told him that we should move on because it’s the best for both of us and he should stabilize first his life according to his dad. i was surprised , i cried and he console me and said that okay we will not break up. Hoping that the relationship works though it’s toxic already we decided to continue for a month still until his parents again told us that we should move on instead and start a new life. i prayed before i left him , tears in my eyes while doing it. why did they did it to me? what is my fault? they said that I should look someone here and long distance relationship sucks. i told them , i can come up with myself there , i don’t need your money . they refused and i felt like a rags that after they use me they throw me away. i have a lot of explaination but his parents wanted us to move on easily. I asked him why you should rely your decisions in your life from your family? he said they are wise , we should listen to a wise counsel.I told him , I have nothing to do with your family.
    i moved on , his last message that still lingering in my mind until now is: undo everything I already moved on and so are you. I truly have.he said that after 2 days. : so painful.
    God is good he helped me and had some good times with my churchmates and dwell in the verse that all things work together for good. Romans 8:28.
    I have my feeling that his mom find someone for him there , I assumed that and her nationality is like with mine as well , during that time i have no evidences and only in my head are vivid imaginations until one time I saw a video of his engagement to other girl and the one that i imagined was perfectly happened. it’s only one month since we broke up and i found it so stupid and idiot. I watched the whole video and didn’t cry i am shaking and said: Lord please do the justice for me ind due time in Jesus name Amen!. afterwards i went to my friend’s house and upon arrival I hugged him and cried. I also called my family and cried ans said: I didnt cry because of the love that I have for him I cried because i felt that they betrayed me , abandoned me and cheated on me. it was only happened yesterday actually. I now realize that my ex didnt love me but he was only attractive to me and wanted to sleep next to me. my family and friends were very angry and they want to kill him. but I said that give it to God and he will settle the score someday.My brother is a police officer and he wanted to discipline him. I dont know if they research the place but I live nearby to the place of the girl as well.
    I can’t sleep last night actually the video is still lingering in my mind but I prayed and prayed and sings hymnals. by God ‘s grace i want to move on so quickly , I dont want to trap in this kind of feelings.
    Kindly pray for me. 🙂

    • i wish u can go through this situation

    • Dear sister, the lord is your strenght God will see you through.

  6. 2 weeks ago a girl I loved more than any1 ever, said let’s be friends. I was devastated. Have been having morning tremors and irregular sleep for 2 weeks. The sadness is so bad, but seems to go away only when she text me back as friends. She was divorced, and holding back, I have never married and gave my full heart. I miss her and her 3 kids so much. Now I just can get by with hoping to say hi at church. I changed my whole lifestyle around her, lost 20lbs, changed my music, so much, and now I’m home alone and can’t reenter my single lifestyle very good. I can’t even think about any other girl. When the pain hit’s hard in the morning, I feel like i have to be around someone to ease the pain. It’s hard. I know I don’t need medicine, as when she replies by text, all the pain goes away for a day. Im hoping to wean from her with little steps.

    • I feel you brother.. I too have just had my girl of my dreams, and the first woman I ever loved this much in 46 years of life finally tell me “I don’t want you to contact me anymore, for both of our sake”..
      God I’m in paid and I don’t know how I’ll ever get over her.

      • I am right there with you. I screwed up a relationship with a good, honest and loyal partner. Im dating others but missing her more and more each day. It hurts alot. Especially during the holidays

    • Wow this sounds exactly what I am going through I can’t believe she is putting some space between us I am majorly depressed never never been this bad over a woman. But I finally realized she was the only one for me after 3 years it was complicated because of her twin daughters would never accept anyone being with their mother now I don’t want anybody else ever in my life because at 50 I finally met the one I absolutely want to marry and I pathetically wait desperately for texts or phone call she said she wants to still be friends no matter what or who we may end up with but she did say there could be possible get back after she finished raising daughters she will not date until after daughters graduate high school

      • Hey guys! I’m a 50 y/o woman who just went through a break-up. I’m a strong woman w/a great circle of good friends, and that’s key and why I’m doing better today than yesterday! My ex hasn’t contacted me since Mon evening & he never will again. And you know what? I’m okay w/that now. Woman & men react differently to break-ups. We women are emotional. (I didn’t eat for four days.) Many men stuff the emotion down & pour themselves into anything to keep from feeling the pain. You’re feeling the pain & that’s good. And healthy. But here’s an eye-opener. Every text, call etc., that you’re waiting for is like an addiction to a drug. It feeds the dopamine receptors in your brain. When you get a text or call, you get your fix. And when you don’t get it, you go into withdrawal. I went two days with no contact. During that time I SCOURED the Internet for every article I could find to help me through the breakup. I also read about how break-ups affect men. I talked about how I felt to my friends, and I wrote. A lot! I wrote about every feeling I was feeling. And I finally composed a final goodbye to my ex that was totally kick&%%, sent it and let me tell you, I feel WAY better! I don’t even know if he read it & I don’t even care! He broke-up w/me and since that happened (via a cowardly text I should add!) I have deduced he did me a HUGE favor!! Please guys! Don’t sit around & wait for a text. Take a shower. Put on some nice clothes. Do what you need to do feel better. She broke up with you & nothing is going to change that! Don’t hold onto hope she’ll come back because she probably won’t! Nurture yourself and take care of you! Erase phone numbers, photos, whatever reminds you of her and tell yourself aloud over and over, that’ll you’ll get thru this! (I actually did a LOT of self-talk & it really helps!!) It’s called a break-up for a reason. Something is broken, and it’s not ever going to get fixed!! Love yourself. Believe in yourself. Because now that you’re alone all you HAVE is yourself! And if you don’t take care of YOU, then shame on you!!!! Blessings to you all!
        “You’re stronger than you think!”

        • I agree 100%. I am a woman in my 30’s, dealing with it the same way (maybe it’s a woman thing). I left him 3 times, and he keeps coming back and every time I actually thought I was over him, he found a way to sneak his way back in. Our relationship was toxic and made us miserable. My ex cannot deal with his feelings and turn the page, he always wanted to stay in touch. I cut off all contact and it drove him nuts… and never accepted it and never understood that this was the only way to turn the page. (And by the way, if she cut off contact with you, it doesn’t mean she stopped caring and is not suffering. It means she wants to stop suffering and get better, and you should do the same.)
          You need to understand and accept what is happening and stop hanging on to hope. Think about the reasons it is over and even if you are not convinced it should be over: if it isn’t your decision then there is nothing you can do to change that. Acceptance is the first step. If you don’t take that step, you will not advance… Do it for yourself, and for the other person. You will both find happiness after this. Time works wonders.
          It’s not easy for any of us, but you owe it to yourself to try to get better. Here is what has helped me so far:
          – Cut all contact and focus on you.
          – Find new activities. Start doing what you’ve always said you wanted to do. Or get back to the activities you enjoyed but put aside during your relationship. For me it was jogging, yoga, and now trying painting.
          – Exercice!!! Endorphine is your best friend.
          – Meditate. Or go to Church, but change Church if she is there, it can be temporary… until you feel that you have moved on.
          – Surround yourself with people that are good to you and care. Kids and animals are awesome at putting a smile on your face even when you see dark.
          – When you are alone, find things to occupy yourself (cooking, cleaning, laundry, reading, writing, exercising, whatever it is, just keep busy and go on). Keep your place organized and tidy (a mess will just cause anxiety and keep you in the blues).
          – If you can, go on a small vacation.
          Just hang on. And tell yourself that what you are feeling is common, it is not the end of the world, and just on this blog we are all going through the same ting. Be happy and feel fortunate because some people will never be lucky to have experienced love.

          • Best phrase ever 😀
            Be happy and feel fortunate because some people will never be lucky to have experienced love.
            And would never say “no” to falling in love all over again, it hurts so good, I must be a masoquist yet an optimist…
            Guys heard this once… “Best revenge is looking and feeling good” from the great -Les Brown.- make sure next time he/she crosses your path you’re looking awesome and feeling amazing… They’ll regret not having you in their lives…
            Best to you all… Just got my heart broken from a 7 year fairytale, he is m, was and will always be my dream man, but must endure and show him that he created in me a masterpiece 😀

          • Hi, my situation Is totally different… I have a big heart break but it’s
            All because of my self… I have been married for 9 years and have beautiful 4 years old girl. One year ago I got seperated with my husband but kept living together untill I found out if that is what I really want. So I was feeling lonely and we didn’t sleep together and lived like brother and sister. So I started online dating … I had one love affair that i though this is it it but it only took 2 months and I never saw him again.. this was my first heart break. Because of the heart break i started tinder again and found whitin 4 weeks another love interest. This one was just different then any relationship I ever had… we connected so good and just my dream man.. and I was his dream girl. Only bad thing was tht I was still married and lived together and also this guy I liked lived in Perth.. no idea how we got matched as I live in Melbourne. Anyhow we met two months later he came and visited me and we actually fell in love. We spoke about marriage and everything. He even proposed me As a joke but at the same time he also felt like proposing for real with a candy ring on the first day we met. I actually stayed 3 days at his hotel and we had amazing time…. no guy made me feel like he did. He knew my situation so I asked him I just need time to figure out my life and he understood and we kept dating. So 6 months later I started loosing interest in him.. and actually I though I might give my marriage a chance… but I didn’t sleep with my husband or anything but I just started having more respect for him and he for me. So tht guy I was dating kinda felt that I was not making any progress but I went more backwards. I still kept saying no I love u and all.. and he would come every 4 weeks to see me and we went on holidays.But because I was confused I just didn’t know if I loved him enough to leave my married life…also because he couldn’t move to Melbourne and I couldn’t move to perth because of my daughter. Anyways thinking about all this complications I took a step back with this guy while this guy spend 1000ds of money on me and showering me with expensive gifts and all.. still I didn’t really wanna make a choice to leave my husband. So at some point 10 months later he actually started calling me less but more often text message .. but also I did the same. So one day I called him and complained why he is not having time to call me that often anymore? So then started making big fight with me and broke up with me. I was like okay good we should do that! But I didn’t take him serious as we often would have these fights and make up the next day.. but this time he really break up and didn’t respond to my calls and text messages and ignored me. A week after breakup I went on tinder to check if he is not there.. and then I saw his profile and I broke in pieces ! I just couldn’t believe… he was preparing to move on for some time and I am not sure how long had been there.. so he kept ignoring me and 3weeks later he finally picked up my call and I asked if he have a gf and he said yes so I broke again.. as how can he have a gf in only 3 weeks? So the convo didn’t go well. Two weeks later I called him one time again… and he picked up and I told him about everything how I wa feeling and he listened and the convo this time went well.. so I found closure after the last time we spoke. Still I have been feeling bad and trying to figure out why I am missing him and why I just can’t love my husband again cause he is so much better than any guy I have known.. but still I am feeling depressed and don’t eat well.. I have tried so many things to get distraction to get rid of thoughts about him and gf and memories I have with him. I know it was my own fault by not ending one relationship first before starting another one but I geuss this is life .. we e not perfect and nothing will go perfect.. at the moment I am still confused and trying to work out with my husband .. not sure if it’s a good thing what I am doing but I know for a fact I won’t find better man than him.

          • it is really strange situations but you can manage it well i know.

          • Hi Hope. Your story could be talk about me. I had the same situation and had to do exactly what you did to cut him out and allow the relationship to die. I only did this about 3 weeks ago and like you said it doesn’t mean the person who took th decision to end it is going through any pain. Sometimes you may not even realise just how deep your feelings go until it is truly over. I have and am still suffering though I have good days and bad days.he was the man of my dreams and I had been single for the past 10 yrs and had just dated but never really have anyone my heart. I really loved this man but we kept fighting and he couldnt forgive me for things he perceived rightly or wrongly that I had done to him although I could forgive him. When i kept taking him back it would only end in another fight and pain pile up was becoming too much to bare. I couldn’t see myself with anyone else but the pain was destroying me and although he would keep coming back I suspected he was seeing someone else.recently i have forced myself to face the facts and truth and it hurts so bad that I can burst into tears at any moment . Yesterday I deleted his number from my phone so he no longer shows up in my WhatsApp and he can’t see my profile pictures. I want him to fill the pain I have felt and I had posted pictures of myself looking stunning before I blocked him and deleted his number. He finds it hard to do things like that and holds on but he was not prepared to work on fixing things so I took all his power away from him. Whenever i broke with him he would find a way to contact me using any reason possible. I told him in a text not to contact me again for at least 1 or 2 yrs . Told him exactly what I wanted in a relationship and why I was putting an end to the fiasco. I am allowing myself to feel the pain ,the hurt, and deception, it hurts so bad but I know it’s just a moment in time and whether anyone else will ever love him as much as I did, well that’s not for me to ever know but just for him to find out. I believe he was in denial about his true feelings for me and could only deal with the illusion and not the reality which is why he wouldn’t complete let me go but fortunately i had the courage to show him I loved myself more than than my desire to stay in a relationship that was hurting me and going nowhere.

          • Story of my life. I really hope you are doing better at this point. And I hope to be as confident as you soon. I lost the love of my life due to mine and his stubbornness and pride. Im not sure who’s fault it was. Mine for being too emotional or his for not understanding why I was emotional. We loved each other deeply. But never seem to be on the same page. It hurts to end things when I know I truly love him. But I need to move on and reading everyone’s stories on here helps. Thank you for posting.

          • I am George and I lost my fiance I have been with for seven years, we had an issue of trust and am going through pains I still love her

          • Hmm am dying i cant even control myself i have been dating for almost 4years and her family dont even like me and now we have broke up hmmn

        • YOu seem to be a very intelligent and insightful woman- Thank you for sharing this!!
          I really needed this right now. A guy just broke our 9 year relationship off 2 weeks ago right before we were supposed to move in together. It devastated me…I reacted irrationally – I’ve cried and haven’t been able to eat or sleep since he broke it off. To add to the pain, I walked in to a sports bar last weekend to find him there with his new female friend. Talk about another blow to the gut. Sorry to go on & on…. I just wanted to say that your words and advice has helped me a great deal. I know over time this will be for the best. I really hope I see the reasining behind all of this pain soon.

          • What a tough situation your experiencing- it must have been awful shocking for you. It may sound tough,but be glad it happened before you moved all your stuff in because believe me it’s so difficult to move out and have to go through all your stuff. I recently had to do this after 14 years woth my fiancee. Even though i wanted the break up its hard. Seeing him with his girl friend must have been hard too. Think about this- he may be on the rebound which is unhealthy and rarely works out.take out a piece of paper and make columns. Write what you liked about him,what you disliked,what your communication was like,did he support your career,did he support your dreams and desires,did he give you affection as you needed ,did he ever hurt you or anything you deem is important. Then in each of those categories answer each of them with what you desire. You can make up your own categories.Then compare them and you may be surprised that maybe the relationship wasn’t everything you really think is healthy.sometimes we wear rose colored glasses and when we write things out on paper we see things more clearly. I’m terribly sorry for yiur hurtful situation though and I know how heavy my heart is and yours must feel the same. Sending you healing blessings to breathe and believe for every dark storm one weathers there is always light that shines through. Hope this helps. Sorry for the typos

          • My story beats all of those. Ive been with my guy 3yrs off and on. He got married twice on me. The first time it was a civil union to help her with INSURANCE cuz she had cancer. So once she was cancer free took bout a yr. HE dissolved the civil union and within weeks he married his so called ex girlfriend who lives in another state all while we was going thru our off and on, but never COMPLETELY off. I feel so STUPID and my hearts hurts so bad. How do get over him cuz i still love him. Yeah i know.

        • I too am a mature woman (61) who got dumped by the man who said I was his last love. We were in the middle of plans for our future together and suddenly he just said he can’t do it, it’s over. We were together over 2 years. I was devestated! That was this past early June. I’m still dealing with the pain. I’m doing my best to move forward and have had a lot of art backs because he said he loves me a number of times after the initial break. He is a typical minimal communicator so I was hanging on to hope that he just needed space and time. I made the mistake of checking in on him via texting over the summer. I was always the initiator and for the most part, his responses were vague and minimal. His last response (2 days ago) was a simple “no” when I said “it would be nice to catch up a little. How do you feel about that?” I got my straight answer after 3 months but no real explaination.
          Anyway, it’s time to heal and I will. You can’t avoid the pain but with the love and support of family and friends I will live and learn and be a better person for it. And, I keep telling myself I’m stronger than I think.

          • Reading. On all the heartbreaks I realize ,it’s truly a part of life,Ican say now that I’ve experienced one too I’ve lived life not deeply loving,then one day it just happened,I truly felt a bond ,connection with this person never felt before .But it must have just been in my head and heart feeling that way.All the time he.would leave over little nothings,then a week or so get back .This has been going on for two yrs now finally over I feel there should be a reason,so broken heart remained with questions I may never get answered.

        • this is awesome and so very helpful.

        • You are sooooo right. One of the harder things for me to go through is waiting, looking, hoping for that email. And when I give in to look and it’s not there, the crushing pain comes rushing back. My looking has become less frequent, I’m down to maybe 3-4 times a day…..yes, it’s like saying “no” to a destructive drug. It would be easier and quicker, for me, if there were no computers. I THANK GOD that I don’t have a smart phone, I would totally go NUTS constantly looking.
          Best wishes my brothers and sisters in heartbreak…
          WE WII GET THROUGH.

          • I am always looking for a response from my ex too. It is torture. I texted him a really kind heartfelt message to try to rekindle the love…..crickets!

        • Thank you for that. I’m going through the same things. At our age, after 6 years, it feels like the last hope has gone. Maybe it’s why I tried so hard to be everything I haven’t in the past. I appreciate your words and I can move on.

        • YOU ARE SO RIGHT!, we are strong, indeed stronger than yesterday!.. We will get all through this. We are bigger than this!

          • I do not know why I am writing this…maybe just to hear myself think…and I do not expect a reply. Someone who I had been with for 4 years, breaking up, but always coming back together, broke up with me over a year ago. It caused me to change my whole life and return home to feel like a loser. I really thought we would cool it off again, then get back together like always, but this time she announced, “I am seeing someone”. I really thought I was over this, but she gave me hope again just a few days ago, only to learn that she was still seeing someone…and it hurts again, just as if it had only happened yesterday. It honestly turns out that she really misses me and wants me back, but, wants me and her boyfriend in her life. When I realized this was the case, I told her that I just simply could not support her doing what she was doing to anyone else. Of course, since then, I have text her several things that maybe I should not have trying to elicit a certain response, but only to realize that although I was feeling horrible again, she is happily in someone’s else’s arms and does not feel the same. I really was getting over this. Had tried to lose contact with her, but then she gave me hope, and simply in pain again.

        • Thank you. Interestingly some research shows that women heal more re quickly. Partly due to the intimacy among women and their friends. Many of us men don’t have as much of that. My heart aches so bad. We men feel it just as much as you all do. I know I’ll survive but the intensity of the pain is almost unmanegeable. Thanks for your comment

      • I think it would be to your and all here’s advantage to take some control over your situations, instead of giving the other person all the control. In other words, when the other person says to you, “I still want to be friends” or “let’s just be friends” or whatever version of that they tell you, a good response would be, “I appreciate that you still want to be friends, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I will be working towards moving on from this relationship and would appreciate it if you don’t contact me. If you need help, call me and if I’m available to help I will do my best, but I will be moving on.” This empowers you, puts the ball in the other persons court, and gets them thinking about the decision they just made. Plus, it lets them know they can’t have it both ways by playing emotional roulette with your feelings. If they are meant for you, they will be back, but you must not be super available to them – at first. You have to play a little hard to get. This works as I had my heart severely broken by the man I’m happily married to today. I got this advice from a book I picked up in Walmart but I do t remember the name because it was years ago. Oh yes, and lots of prayer, maybe even some counseling, read your Bible and commune with God. Ask Him to speak to you and comfort you. Be blessed! There is love out there for you if your most recent love doesn’t return to you.

        • Hi – find your story inspiring – can you tell us a little more…?

      • same here.. but now how are you feeling?

    • Hey Ryan i just started to go thru what your going and i feel your pain bro. I started dating this girl from church shes the pastors daughter and shes divorced because her ex went into drugs and then to jail. Just today in the am she texted me that she cant do it anymore, she said its to much pressure, she said its not from me that im awesome and that when shes with me everything feels good. But she just cant. Now im hurt and still have to see her at church. I told her i would respect her decision and that i felt peace but that only lasted for a bit it just started to hit me. That pain hope it goes away soon

      • Hang in there Anon4. The update I have is not good. I’m learning men handle heartbreak wayyy worse than women. Men take it so hard internally when women can shake this sort of thing off which seems kinda cold but it’s just the way it is. The pain of breakup did reduce, but my spirit is still crushed, and motivation and joy is nearly gone. Several times thoughts enter the mind to end it all, but I wont do that. I read the pain must not outweigh the coping abiilty. Also read alot about Oxytocin withdrawal being like real drugs. Much of the time I feel intense emotional pain, I seek out God but seem to get minimal relief. I must have ruminated to 120 people by now, it adds up and people repel after awhile. What is really bad is when you need love the most, like when your depressed, no one is going to want you the most then. It seems not fair that when you need someone the most, it’s the hardest time to find love. It feels like my life is shrinking into a smaller and smaller bubble, cant’ go anywhere or listen to music, or watch any movie as it causes memories and emotion take over. And the worst thing is she wont speak to me and wont’ tell me why, when the last thing she said was she wanted to be freinds. It’s like 2 heartbreaks, one for the relationship, and one for the freindship. Losing the friend part was even harder. Now she made up lies in her head about me and started believing them, when all i ever did was love. She had said I’m too emotional as to the breakup, she would’nt undrestand that it was temporary as that’s what happens when u fall in love.

        • Ryan and Anonnymous4,
          Your stories really touched me. Thank you both for sharing. My boyfriend broke up with me on December 13th, 2015 (so about a month and a half ago), and the pain is still excruciating. The people who love more tend to hurt more. It’s a sign that you love deeply, and that is a precious quality for a person to possess.
          Please know that women can hurt every bit as much as men. Breakups completely devastate me. It’s been my observation that it hurts most to the person who didn’t want the breakup. We reach out in love and give of ourselves, some of us giving everything we’ve got. Then to have our love rejected not only injures our heart, but bruises our self-esteem. What did I do wrong? Why could he/she not love me anymore? What could I have done differently? Am I unloveable? And part of the pain, too, is the loss of the expectations we had for the relationship.

          • I can feel you right now Jamie we both in the same situation. I’ve been in relationship for the past 4 years. I loved him even more than my self, I did everything to made him happy. I even forgot my own happiness. I always prioritize him in every decision I was made. I believed that he loved me unconditionally. That he cannot able to hurt me nor cheat on me. I’m over confidence about the foundation of our relationship. Ofcourse sometimes we had some misunderstanding but at the end of the day we managed to solve it. Let say I was dreaming during those times I thought love is always have a happy ending that I’m leaving in wonderland. But recently everything suddenly changed. Yeah he changed a lot until I reached to the point that I cannot recognised him anymore. I keep on asking my self why he changed? What I did to made him hated me? Recently also he even told me a lot of excuses why he was busy, he always going outside never tried to called me in our daily routine. All of sudden everthing turned wrong. He even created some imaginary friends to made me believe that’s he’s not doing anything wrong he just enjoyed his life. Of course I’m not stupid up to that level, one day I all the lies was unfolded. Even if he did not told me face to face that he already in a relationship with someone else but he’s actions was more than enough for me to realised that he already unlove me. He treated me in a very bad ways. He never considered my feelings if I’m going to be hurted by his actions. Now he left me. He even told me that he don’t wanna see me anymore. All those words broke my life. Until now I don’t know what I’m going to do. How i will fix my life again. How to be happy. Moving on is not easy. I’m always depress and feeling sick everyday. Sometimes I’m praying that I won’t wake up anymore so that I cannot feel the pain. I’m far away from my family and that’s added my depression.

        • im sorry that the both of you are going through this because i know exactly how you feel and as a women i would not say that is something we shake off my heart has been broken 2 times in a row and it hurts so bad its almost unbearable and although it seems like its the end of the world i know there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel ..i’ve just been praying and staying positive even though deep inside i feel dead and not alive but with Gods love and help im trying …Stay strong a heartbreak is one of the most difficult things i’ve ever had to go through and i’ve been through 2 now one from a cheating husband that i loved for 7 years and one from a man that i thought was different that helped me deal with my pain and went in and shattered my heart into 1 million pieces. But be strong and positive it will get better with time.

    • Hey Ryan, I know exactly how you feel. About 5-6 years ago my ex of 2 years had broken up with me. She was my first everything. I was consumed by depression for 7-8 months. I lost a total of 50 lbs. I couldn’t eat for those months. It was my fault that the relationship ended. Having the feeling of regret is the worst pain. About a year after my breakup I met another woman. Ended up having 2 kids with her, two beautiful boys. Been together for 4 years now just recently the relationship ended. I’m going through it all over again buddy. If I can make it through the first one I can do it with this one and I know you can do the same. God bless.

    • Good luck I feel ur pain

    • HI
      WE ALL HAVE EMOTIONAL PAIN.
      THROUGH THIS PAIN IS WHERE WE BUILD CHARACTER.
      CHARACTER IS ONLY BUILD THROUGH HARD TIME [ NOT GOOD TIMES]
      IT’S THIS CHARACTER THAT HELPS US IN THE STORM.
      YOUR DAY WILL COME AND YOUR OTHER WILL NOTICE.

    • Know the feeling, & it’s so hard ,went thur the same but was with him for 16 years! ! ,& he was cheating & married the girl just after 8 months, it’s a hard thing 2 cope with when u have lost your best friend & the Love of your life, but I know God will help me thur all this ,& I am still setting around & it will b 3 years in January, I pray all the time 4 help just 2 move on !!! So sorry & I do feel your pain! !!

      • am also suferrin here… am currently dating with this guy but am not really getting the attention i need from him so it makes me think he is just using me.. i care soo much and am always there for him anytime and i sacrifice for him, but hes just too i dont know,.. and am hurt inside of me,.. just wana leave but the pain is just too much, wana know how i can get over him

    • Hi Ryan,
      I know you wrote this 7 months ago and I hope that you have already moved on. If I read this 7 months ago, I would have scoffed and tell you to be a man. But now that I experienced this kind of pain, I could only shake my head. I fell in love with a guy I hooked up with. How stupid could that be? Unfortunately, I’m just a hook up for him and wanted us to just be friends. At first, I thought that I should just give him time and he’ll eventually fall inlove with me. I changed my whole lifestyle for him too. I gave him everything I could…as in everything. But it’s still the same…. Unrequited love. I started to doubt myself. Am I that unlovable? Am I ugly? Fat? Dark? I started running and lose weight and considered getting fairer skin but I don’t think those are the answers. I just think that I’m not worth loving, period. I became so insecure and also thought of ending it all which of course I didn’t or else I wouldn’t be writing this. I slept a lot too because when I’m sleeping, I don’t think about him and feel anything. When he’s not sending me a message, I felt like my world is slowly crumbling down but just one hi from him, everything changes. I will suddenly feel light and happy. He’s like a drug I couldn’t quit. I’m so drawn to him and I couldn’t get enough of him. How do I move on? I couldn’t sleep and work properly. My friends are all tired hearing from me that I’ll move on but at the next minute I’ll tell them that I’m happy again because he said hi. They told me to cry it all out and pray. I did both but I’m still stuck! When does it end? When will the pain go away? Why do we have to feel this? I have tried to be busy but everytime I stop for even a single second, it’s his face that I see. I think I’m getting crazy or is this normal for someone who loved deeply?

      • April, you are telling my story. I am having a TERRIBLE time getting over my wife I am separated from, even though she has cheated on me several times during our separation. This have been going on for over a year and the cheating started with someone I respect because of what he does for a living and something I am passionate about (MMA). After going through the horrible pain last year, him and her broke it off and I came back into the picture. At first it was just supposed to be to fulfill our physical needs, have our cake and eat it too, but that slowly turned into intense feelings again. I tried to guard my heart as things were progressing in a positive direction, but after several months of bliss, she ended it suddenly letting me know she was not ready to settle down. Mind you we have been together for going on 17 years and married for 11 with a special needs child. I am having a terrible time, trying to focus on work and wake up every morning with severe anxiety, depression and I weep like I never have. This week she called me pathetic in a text because one of her boyfriends showed up at her apt while i was visiting her a few days ago and she lied trying to cover her tracks. I’m not sure how to get over her. She can hurt me over and over and i still want her back. Its a sick and viscous cycle.

      • omg! Yes! once I stop doing anything I instantly think of my ex! horrible, eats up all my brain cells. hey-did it get better yet? I am still in the beginning stages,,,,,,

      • I just hope you’re soo over him by now. Hold your head up.

      • Hello april..
        I hope your over your breakup and never ? Yourself. You stated something that saddened me, you said to dark. I know that could not be it bc we are all gods children and beautiful inside & out.

    • I 100% feel this scenario.. I know that I am not alone. The Following Repsonses are Very Helpful too. I do not want to 1 up the person, dishonor the other person, become better than or worse than the other person,,, Healing is what i want.. Healed, Wholeness of Heart.

    • I am sorrybfor you and know how you feel my boyfriend of 2 months caused a break up because that is what he wanted.Be started by saying he couldn’t understand my text though I was very clear. It hurts because I was really into him and it took me a while to open up from a break up 2 years ago. It really hurts worse when you are intimate sexually with someone. I know I’ll be celibate the rest of my life as I can’t allow myself to be hurt again. Sex is a soul tie and I can’t allow my soul to hurt anymore.

      • I’ve been single for 16years now… you don’t want to do that. I’m @ a complete loss as of how to communicate with other human beings & have lost all hope of ever finding an accomplice to my adventures… Death would be a sweet relief but mom is still alive for now.

        • Gael, anyone who says’accomplice to my adventures’ has something to offer, a love for life. Please look for depression treatment or something because you rock,

    • Hi Ryan,
      This sounds exactly what I am going through now. It hurts so bad. I dated this widowed guy that has three kids until I fell in love with him. But after months of dating, this guys said to me to be friends because he said , he is still healing from the death of his wife, but what I do not understand is, he also said that I am not the girl he is looking for and he said that he has someone ,(prospective date), to go out with and he said that this new girl can be his second wife. 🙁 I am so pained. 🙁 What I did, I made a to-do list to make myself better. Toning my body, and keeping myself healthy is one on the list. But good for you because she is still replying to you. This guy I date, he is pushing me away. He doesn’t want me at all. I am so in love with him. I love his kids, too. I miss him so much. 🙁 (sigh)

      • that is quite hard to deal with. 3 years later I still have symptoms from the extreme heartbreak, but I totally don’t want that girl now, but the emotional pain still hurts from damage. I have a wonderful woman now. I hope you feel better. Time really helps lessen the pain.

    • Update 2 years later. The tradjedy all made me stronger. I had to be broken down to be built back up better than ever before. That inner soft loving person will always exist but I had to guard my heart. Now I have great success with women and can take my pick from learning about man to woman relationship success videos on youtube.

  7. 2 months ago she broke up with me,saying that in last 6 months we was just hurting each other,than loving,and now i know it was just a simple reasson ,because this is not true,we was even on holiday for few days,we hang out like normally couple,true is that sometimes i was going out with boys and left her home alone,but this can’t be the reasson to leave me after almost 3 years together and plans for marriage,i want say she is my first love. her familly accepted me,because i am a stranger in her country,we was verry happy together,we moved together and everything was going just good.Now i know she meet some new boys,and she was flirting with them,especially with one of them more.well,it happend that way that in one week i saw her with 2 boys,one of them is now her boyfriend and the second one just a friend from school.she broke up with me because she knew it she can’t have me and him in the same time,so she choosed him instead me,and she even saied me she love him and she never want me back,and it hurts more because i know she really loved me,she was everytime kind with me,she everytime helped me and had care about me,everytime she asked me if i will ever change her with someone else,she give me know that she don’t want lose me,but now this suddenly happend,i don’t recognise her at all,she ignore me and she even changed her phone number.All this facts make me think she was playing theatre all the time,but its hard to believe it.and now after 2 months i am everyday thinking about her,i am stucked inside of the relationship,and i don’t find a way out,.please someone say something… thank you

  8. I dated with my ex-bf for 5 months and we broke up 2 weeks ago. In the mid of September, he said that he is ashamed to bring me out to meet with his friends because I am fat and not beautiful, and he said he got no feelings on me after 3 months being together. He said our relationship was just a trial for him and it doesn’t work out. I was so heart broken by then and I actually asked him to give us another chance and we could work it out. Things seems to be normal again by then, but his messages to me has become lesser. Early of November, he told me that he has spent too much money on me (he bought me a handbag earlier and a bracelet for my birthday). After so many months, I only realized that he bought me the gifts unwillingly and even send me his bank account details for me to make the payment.
    We “officially” break up 2 weeks ago and he told me that he don’t like my attitude – as I like to asked him questions such as “Have you taken your lunch?” or “What you’re doing at home?”. He claimed that his friends don’t ask him this kind of questions but I did asked him. But, is it wrong for me as the GF to ask questions? For me, it is just a part of communications!
    Until today, I am still feeling very heart broken and I am still crying over these. 🙁

  9. My boyfriend and I were together for 9 yrs. We lived together. The last 2yrs out sex life dwindled to nothing. He said sex isn’t the most important thing in a relationship. We loved each other had fun times but the home life was getting annoying. I would complain communicate what I needed what bothered me and its like it went in one ear and put the other with him. So long story short and there were other things that brought us to having him move out he did in July. I told him to take what he needed and just go. He moved into his house hevtented out a side by side apt as a tenant has moved out of it. Days went by he then came around we still did things together. I then changed jobs where i am working overnights so I’d sleep in morning and early evening so the time we did spend together was limited and this began to be an issue for him and me. We didn’t talk or see each other much but when we did we always ended the call or day with a kiss hug and I love you. Then 1 day a couple weeks ago I told him I had a feeling he was seeing someone. He did not deny or affirm just said what we can’t talk after I said I’m done I won’t be talking to him anymore. I’m another txt he said he did not know if he had the want or energy for a relationship. Yet he was working on a new one with someone else. Another conversation in txt was he didn’t want To give me false hope he doesnt know Whats going to happen. I told him I don’t take sloppy 2nds. I did not know we had actually broken up at the time. The last I knew he wanted to try and fix our relationship. Not was I fooled. Its been 2wks and my heart is heavy. I have been saying and writing down daily positive affirmations. I pray to God everyday to help me to heal my heart so I may move forward. I cry at the dumbest times. I know this pain will end I wish it would hurry up…

  10. BUDDHATIZED & BROKEN HEARTED~ I met my ex 9 years ago in a casino, we enjoyed the same game. He always had a Lucky Buddha on his machine..which I adored. We became friends, he was married with 1 biological & 1 stepson. I was single after a 15 year relationship (4 children) that became very unhealth. He was the most outgoing positive man I had met and had the most Amazing Smile! I then knew I wanted the next man in my life to be like him and Love and spoil me like he spoiled his then wife. 2 years later he was seperated, his wife wanted a divorce as she had another man. I was so afraid to loose the opportunity of being with him that I told that Lucky Buddha Man he needed a Buddha Girl!! We spent the last 7 years together living seperate. I respected that he had been hurt in his marriage before and that marriage or living together was not what he was ready for but our relationship seemed strong and he was very close with my family. 11 months ago he just decided he hadn’t had time to himself with no commitments/expectations in 22 years and broke it off and just like that my life was crushed overnight. I am still so broken as I Love him so very much and was so Buddhatized by my man. We had so much that we shared together and loved all the same things…on top of that he told my daughter he would be with me forever. Now that he’s single he says he doesn’t want a relationship but seems to be fully engaged in the dating scene. I truly believe fate brought him in my life and I know I treated him better than he had ever experienced in his life…he’s 54 (I’m 50)…could he be going through a mid life guy thing?? I still can’t bring myself to even look at another man…I feel so broken and empty even 11 months later, he is the Yin to my Yang~ Praying this blog brings me some peace to my thoughts as this will be our first Christmas without him…he seems to be afraid of love yet loves himself at the moment and seems to be enjoying dating again, my daughter and I miss him everyday. Broken Hearted Buddha Girl~

  11. I related to step 2 because every question was the question I asked myself…..it made me realize that somethings that we go through in life is just to be. Very simple.

  12. u see what the problem is ?
    That boy doesnt good for you !
    Focus on ur self now, be a better person.
    Let see who had a bad attitude

    • What an arse your worh so much more this hurts. But do t g back hun thete is someone out there that woll love and appreciate you

  13. 2 and half year deep loving relationship, turns out she was addicted alcoholic the trauma of it all devastated me to the point i had no choice but to walk away in survival to later find out she was placed in treatment were she was detoxed and cleaned out to become a smart cheating addict and used the treatment program for cover and protection, with her bold ways she continued to tag me along for her amusement yet for me i fell so deep into anxiety and depression to the point that my health was failing, i was like the walking dead with the holidays adding a bonus to it all to the point i found myself with a therapist, cut things off quick yet the damage and destruction of the trauma i was exposed to stuck as i seek help until i can live again, toxic people that are undercover can kill you if you are not smart enough to question your choices than just a pretty face and when you are in love so deep the effects of a broken heart is serious, Letting go is not a easy task especially with obsession and coming to terms with the truth, i have since move on even though the flash backs come and go as time heals and covers the pain, to love in any kind of way always be strong and be ready people can be very deceiving when it comes to matters of your heart.

  14. I just read your blog for the 1st time and I needed to hear that to be able to move forward.
    Thanks

  15. My boyfriend and I was together for 5 years well my ex. We a kid together 3 years into our relationship. Before our baby everything was good we had petty arguments but were able to
    Moves pass it with no problem everything was going good in our life good jobs cars and got our first apartment together 3 months after our daughter born then that’s where the problems begin more aruging him not coming home at night once he got off of work leaving me at home with the baby us not sleeping in the same bed anymore
    Then I found out he was cheating and I found out more about his cheating
    He said that I wasn’t paying him attention anymore I never wanted to go out and do stuff
    Which was true a full time mom a full time student and I had a full time job I was tired
    We eventually moved out of the apartment a year later and got our own places stop talking for about 3 or 4 months
    He quit his job and just was into the party life females drinking going out all the time
    He reaches out to me and said he wanted to get his self together for the baby and I who was then 1 I said ok I loved him he was my first real love we’ve been together since we were 19
    We tried and we tried but it wasn’t really working then I found out he was cheating again really had a whole discussing relationship with a whole other girl i confronted her and she admitted that she knew about me and she also admitted that to me that she was PREGNANT but she wasn’t planning on keeping the baby
    Again he and I stop talking about of month he called me and told me the girl had an abortion and that he was done with her. So because I wanted my family I went back o tried encouraging him getting a job and getting his self back together I even tried to change myself to keep his interest in me so that he wouldn’t want to cheat on me for a whole year we broke up and got back together he cheated on me with the same girl and others (me writing this is making me see how crazy gullible in love I was) so fast forwarding to November this year the girl he had for pregnant actually texted my phone informing me that she was 10 weeks pregnant again and she was keeping the baby this time
    This is when I knew I couldn’t do it anymore
    My heart is so broken I ask myself why wasn’t I good enough? What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t your child enough to want to work it out and do better for your family?
    I realize now I did nothing wrong I was good and supportive girlfriend
    The only thing I did wrong was lose myself in this relationship
    I stop going to church on Sunday’s I stop going to school when I realize my grades were dropping because school wasn’t my focus anymore and I was in my last year of college
    Love is a powerful tool never will I loose myself in a relationship again like that
    My heart hurts so much so I’ve been looking at scriptures of strength to help me get over this
    Praying is helping a lot and thanking God to allow me to be strong enough to not go back this time because for a while o really thought he was the only one for me

    • Okay so I’m not a stalker but I saw your post on another website, and clicked your name and saw other articles you’ve read, and I’m so sad because I’ve been with my ex boyfriend for ten years and he’s always cheated. I moved out a while ago in March after I found out he was really with a chick in another state, and she’s been around our nine year old. I moved into my first apartment in September and I can’t seem to get over this hurt and the crying. When I’m home with my son I can’t help but think he is with her, taking her out and doing things with her that I’ve always wanted to do… all while still denying that he’s messing with anyone seriously.
      I love the holidays and I’m so sad because I’m not looking forward to it, alone.
      How are you doing now, has anything changed?

  16. A boy that was the first I truly loved cut it off with me today BC there is this jealous girl that made rumers about me and that I was saying stuff about him and my bf believed her over me and he regretted us and no u don’t know what to do everyday we see each other and its painful for me but he seems very happy and is flirting with other girls and i miss him

  17. I have a friend, They split up last Nov. 23. I try to court her after 1month and fail. But the good thing is that is, We go outside, Window Shopping, Eating and etc. after courting her. & Yes while doing that things, were like BF/GF because we holding our hands, sleeping to my shoulder and etc.
    Now, I have a problem. She ask a favor that to stop seeing each other, txting, calling and etc. Because every time were together she always think that im his EX.
    Please gimme some advice. Thanks in advance.
    p.s Sorry for my bad in E.

  18. I agree, very well put. every hope of a text or email is like waiting for your pusher to bring whatever. Let go, move on, there is nothing else to do. the 50yo woman above rounded it up nicely. It doesn’t make it easier, but hoping for news makes it way harder to let go. A woman who tells you lets be friend doesn’t want you, and whatever her reasons are, it doesn’t matter. 43 yo who went thru this as well.

    • I mostly agree with the statement about “let’s be friends” but I take it a step further by adding some secret meanings to the phrase.
      First, she knows she is hurting you, and believes that this softens the blow (when in fact it makes it worse because you hang on to that friendship idea). She does not intend friendship, she just wants not to feel guilty.
      Second, she may be worried about your reaction. It is easy to become angry and bitter and lash out at her. Her suggestion may be code for “please don’t hate me”.
      Finally, I believe that in today’s society, the meaning of the word “friend” has become diluted and confused. After all, in the online community, if you have never met someone or spoken with them, but sent them a cat video, you can be their “friend”. I recently had a woman tell me (before we ever dated) that she wanted to be friends. I assumed that meant she wanted to spend time with me…but later I discovered that was out of the question.

    • Yes, it’s the waiting, hoping and looking for that one email from him that drives me crazy. And then, the huge let down and disappointment, both in him and myself, washes over me when I finally give in to the flesh and look….and nothing is there…

  19. I am just seeing this blog. I relocated to another state the 1st of October leaving behind a man I had been in a complicated on/off relationship with for almost 5 years. At times during our relationship we would attempt to seperate ourselves from each but it would never last very long. We always found our way back to each other. Unfortunately, the complications weren’t things to be changed which made everything MORE complicated. I am 13 years older divorced with 2 children. He is from another country with parents expecting him to marry from his country and had kids. We loved each other very much but it was difficult to navigate. There was serious talk about him moving to me and I really hoped he would. Moving away would have given us time to connect with each without outside pressure and influence. Unfortunately, that would never happen. We were in contact but he was trying to remain distant because talking to me was too difficult. Then on January 1st I learned he’d gotten married a week earlier and he never told me. You could tell it was wedding was rushed and the wedding pic looked like he was with his cousin. He wasn’t even touching her! Needless to say, he’s married. He blocked my number and won’t respond to my voice mails. It’s been 3 weeks and some days are better then others but there is always something missing no matter how good things are. Hopefully time will heal my heart too.

  20. Okay…so my best guy friend of 10 years left me for his new girlfriend I’m 15 and he’s 14 and she’s 16 me and him aren’t really allowed to date but he does anyway I confronted him that he hurt me by doing this and he said he was sorry but he keeps hurting me by ignoring me we use to have feelings for each other but we stopped I still kinda like him but there’s some one eles in my life any way I’m don’t know why he left me and I feel like I can’t talk to him anymore HELP everyone I talked to has gone through this but is not giving me and “instruction Manuel” of what to do like I want lol If anyone can help I would love it

  21. I found out my bf was seeing another woman and that she bore him a child it broke my hrt so bad when he told me the truth and the fact that he asked for time to think about what he wants that he cannot let her go with no reason the man i loved so much cannot let her go. Ive tried to end it but he keeps asking for more time to sort things out. My whole world is a mess i dnt trust him anymore i just want to let go relieve myself of the pain i dnt want to be stuck in this drama for the rest of my life. Sm1 help me let go i hate wats hpning to me

  22. Was married for 3 years but (un)fortunatelly going through a divorce now. I am so hurt, heart broken and sad but also pissed off at myself for opening my heart to her. I’m 35 and she is 33. The very first time we met I thought she was physically attractive but I wasn’t looking for anything serious so I gave her a cold shoulder. Few weeks later she persuaded me into a date, we had a lot of fun on that date, we laughed and talked over a dinner . She also told me that her family is Muslim and that was a huge concern for me because I’m an Eastern-European-American Christian man and my family follows the Christian Orthodox religion so I didn’t know how they would react. I have always been honest and open with her so I told her this. I told myself let’s do everything right from the beginning, no secrets, no bs. So I told her that I don’t want drama and that there is potential for it if we date considering she is a Muslim. Her response was that she is not religious at all and that she was only born a Muslim but has never practiced it. I still had my concerns and once again I told her honestly how I feel. I talked to my family about it and they gave me a blessing and said we will support you no matter what as long as you are happy. I was so freaking happy and excited to have my family’s support and so was she. We got married after only dating for 7 months , everything was going well , we seemed very happy and we both had similar goals for the future. I did ask her before we got married if she would be willing to get baptized in a Christian church even if she doesn’t want to practice because it would mean so much to me. She agreed, we even made plans to have 2 weddings , one at the city hall and in the future when we save up little bit of money at some small Christian church overlooking the Adriatic see in Europe. Few months after being married arguments started, she suddenly was much more concerned with her career then us. She even said love is not the most important thing in a relationship because love doesn’t pay the bills BUT I was a small business owner and there was no reason for her to go after a new carrer, I asked her to find a job that makes her happy no matter what she gets paid and that we will be fine. Well she didn’t want to do that, she accepted a new position at work and was now suddenly traveling every month for a week or so all over the USA. It made me upset, I wanted my wife and didn’t want to lose her every month for a week or two. The arguments got so bad that she would scream and yell and one time even hitting me , off course I was upset and I yelled back but the day she hit me I realized that I need to get out of this or one of us will end up in jail or worst. I told her the next day that I want to move out as I no longer saw the point, my wife wasn’t there anymore. She was upset that I’m leavin her but didn’t really try talking me out of it, she just screamed and yelled and cussed at me. I moved out and was heart broken but as the time passed by I was able to move on and find my happiness again. 4 months after our separation (not divorce) she started contacting me and eventually we sat down and talked and not sure why (I guess emotions) we decided to give it another try. I thought something was wrong with me and that I had insecurities as she would tell me “what’s wrong with you, what man wouldn’t want his wife to be such a great worker and wants to make the money?” … And I off course don’t mind my wife making money but I do mind having to lose her for a week or so every month. So I talked myself into being open minded and accepting her new role and that everything is going to be okay. Once again I was completely honest towards her thinking she has realized what she had lost and will change (as she promised) , after all I am an honest, non cheating man who is also a hard worker. In October of 2015 I was crushed to find out my business partner was stealing from me (our company) so I was a mess, I was hurt and very upset. I decided to get out of the business with him and start one on my own. He wasn’t only my business partner but my best friend and the best man at our wedding. I fell in depression as I couldn’t believe he did that to me, I was really hurt especially since for 5 years I have put a lot of hard work into that business. Well I opened up to my wife again , saying I need your support and some help, I feel defeated and depressed because of what happened and her response was “don’t be a p*s*y , man up, everybody goes through some shit in life” so even thought I was hurt by her response I tried just moving on but I couldn’t. It effected the start of my new business as I lost a lot of motivation and was constantly dwelling on the fact that my best friend screws me over and stole from me. Any time I asked my wife for support her response was something like stfu and do something about it and as much as I wanted to I couldn’t, depression took over me and I was pretty much useless. I asked her to please just give me some mental support and that I will be back on my feet in no time BUT instead she felt that I am no longer up to her standards (being depressed and all) so she asked for a divorce. I was crushed, I couldn’t breath, I thought I was going to die or killmyself , how can anybody’s heart handle all this at the same time, I lose my business (sold my shares to ex best friend) , lose my best friend/best man, fell into depression, barely enough money to survive and now on the top of it my wife left me and doesn’t want anything to do with me. Today is the Valentine’s Day and I had made reservations 6 months ago for us at this awesome reataurant and when I received an email yesterday reminding me of that I broke down. I still love her even though she obviously doesn’t love me but I can’t help it, my heart misses her and I think about her 24/7. Why am I hurting so much when it is obvious that she doesn’t deserve me? Why can’t I just move on knowing that even if she came back I will not take her back? She has poisoned my heart and more importantly my mind and I don’t know how to get over it? Btw, my new business is doing good but I almost don’t care , all I want is my wife even though she has became a cold hearted biazntch … So I know she is no good for me and I know she can’t be trusted yet all I think about is her. It is driving me crazy and it is really effecting my mental health, I don’t know what to do because I moved into a different town to have some sort of change but I have no family or friends here and all I do is sit on my couch and think about her. I love her so much and she doesn’t care, am I just a weak person or what do you suggest (anyone)? Thank you so much and God Bless you!

    • Hang in there buddy- life puts you through certain tests at times..have faith that God is just removing the negatives from your life-he sees that you are a good person- and this is a blessing. Stay strong!

    • God revealed who she truly is, I know it’s a difficult time but you will heal, try and find a church in the new location and get yourself busy a long a long side your business. Jesus said he will never leave us nor forsake us, the fire won’t consume us, the waters will not drown us….healing is assured hung in there bro.

    • I believe you’re afraid to be alone. Go exercise, boost your self esteem so you can go out and find a new woman. You also need a friend or family member that you can confide your feelings to. It helps. Good luck and God bless.

  23. I fell inlove with a this guy who Ive grown very close with we were just friends in the beginning we hung out everyday every second it was like I was the female version of him, while were just friends he had a gf but they broke up we grew closer and hung out more we fell inlove with each other was the most beautiful thing iv ever experienced but we tried being together plenty of times & it never worked because he was still inlove wit his ex 🙁 ive been dealing wit this guy for 4 yrs now & thts my bestest friend but he couldn’t make it work I tried to show him how to love & it didn’t work & now I’m sitting here depressed and heart broken cause I tried to show someone how to love me the way I wanted them to love me & all along they just loved the idea of me being aroun #brokenheartedgirl

  24. Wow I feel for all of you!
    My heart goes out to all of you!
    My wife turned cold to me after 24 years and we ended up getting divorced
    It was like she was a different person
    I was heartbroken and she moved to another state like we were nothing
    I finally moved on and have just met a sweet woman that I hope may be my new future
    One thing is that I have learned to be alone and do things on my own
    I have also learned to give space and not depend on someone else to make me happy
    You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else
    I have given myself time to heal and now it is time to live!!!!

  25. My best friend kissed me. We’ve been close for about two years. We’ve always had a flirty relationship. However, he lives in another country now. He kissed me when he came back to visit. Afterwards, he realized that it was an in the moment thing and he didn’t want us to engage in a relationship. I agreed. We were back to normal for about a week. However, afterwards, he started claiming that we were never friends to start with to our mutual friends. I got over it because he was my best friend. However, he just stopped talking to me one day. I haven’t heard from him since. What do I do?

  26. Hi,
    My boyfriend and I broke up 4 months ago due to a lot of issues & priorities. We’ve been fighting almost everyday and in the end he told me that he would want to focus on his family since he is the breadwinner, and he cannot include me in his priorities. I even told him that I will support him in everything but he rejected me and hung up the phone, never talked to me again. 3 months after we broke up, we saw each other again through a friend. He seemed so nice to me and he even offered to drive me home, but I think he’s just doing it just to show his friends that he has moved on already. It was my birthday a week ago and he greeted me over chat. We had a small talk about work but that’s just it.
    Now I’m so confused. I’m in the healing process already until I saw him again and all the pain and anger came back :'(. It’s more painful. I’m even questioning God why do I have to see him after a few months. I’m about to heal but why did He let things happen, why do I have to talk to him again. 🙁 I’m feeling depressed and I can’t move forward.

    • Understand your depression. We broke up just the other day after I was used for 2.5 years and slaved for her continually and never went out. Tried to make her happy. But just remember, the purpose of dating is to develop a love for someone and find out if they are compatible or not. It’s to find out what kind of person they are. So if you were to marry someone like that and he acts the way he does and you’re miserable after just a few months, think what years of a marriage would be like. Find a mature person.

  27. I was just recently broken up with. I was with my boyfriend for two years, but I had known him since I was with my ex boyfriend. I hurt him pretty bad at that time because he wanted to be with me but I was still with my ex at that point. I finally out a stop to that relationship and jumped into it with my now current ex boyfriend. I fell deep in love and cherished him to the fullest. I had a lot of trust issues though. I noticed he had a lot of friends that were girls and it really bugged me. I would constantly think he was talking to them and I let it ruin our relationship. I always accused him of looking at other woman.. Over the summer, we went to a bar and I accused him of dancing with another woman when he wasn’t. I knew he didn’t but I felt he was to close to her..we got into this huge blowout fight and he told me that it’s over, that once our lease is up were done. After that night I thought we mended everything back together. We continued to live together and I thought we were okay. Here and there I would accuse him and we’d have some fights. So recently, I thought he was on his phone a lot and would be up late texting. I called him on my lunch break from work and asked him about it. We got into a fight and he was acting really harsh with me. I got home and he wouldn’t talk to me, I asked him if he wanted to break up with me and he said honestly he doesn’t know. He finally sat me down and told me that he fell out of love. That he loves me but isn’t in love with me. I feel like my heart is shattered into a million pieces, I can’t stop crying and being emotional. I haven’t been able to eat and I have this ball feeling in my stomach. I’ll be okay for a second and then all the memories come rushing back in. How can someone fall out of love and throw out all those amazing memories? I just feel so lost and I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want it to stop..

    • How are you doing now? Im going through the exactly same thing. Accusing etc…

  28. i feel your pain . i also feel broken the pain is so bad , i just want it to stop i feel like i cant breathe .

  29. 2 days ago my boyfriend broke up with me. He was perfect and I got too attached. I would get jealous over simple things like him liking someone elses picture. Jealousy is an emotion though.. I cant control it. The way I reacted to it, I started arguments. I never knew how it affected him cause he never talked to me about it.. He just ended it. I know we are both still in love with each other but for some reason, after I realized everything and decided to talk, he wont take me back and wont even tell me why. Im not sure if I should keep fighting or leave him alone and accept that we probably arent getting back together.. But If I give him time, he might move on and I dont wanna loose him.. My heart is broken and i dont know what to do. I dont know how to deal. Im an over thinker.. Sometimes I try to eat and it feels like im choking and I cant even eat my food my stomach hurts so bad.. I wake up almost every hour.. It just sucks..

  30. I recently just had a short relationship after 5 years of being single. I’m 30 and don’t want to live where I live, and met the most beautiful woman who wanted to move away and loved me for me. I found it hard to believe that she could love me, because I am shy and quiet and weird. The circumstances for us meeting were too unreal. The entire relationship, I was constantly worried that she didn’t care, when it was all in my head. Too many things happened to make me wonder. We shared so many common interests and looking back, I can see how unbelievably perfect it was. I hurt her and never got the chance to apologize, and I don’t know how to forgive myself. I feel like I’ve put myself in a living Hell. I feel like God gave me this loving woman, and I was blinded by self-hatred, and couldn’t see it. I don’t know how to stop thinking about it. I barely sleep, or eat. I don’t enjoy anything and being at work (a new job) with people I don’t know is very hard. There are too many things to remind me of this girl everywhere I go…. I just want to to feel okay and be happy. I know feeling like this is bad for me and everyone around me. I just want to stop crying…

    • How are you doing now man? 🙂 Me and my my girlfriend broke up yesterday, i feel like i wanna commit suicide.. so i know how you feel. The main reason was that i could never trust her. She always made me insecure with things, so eventually it got overboard.. But how are you doing now?

      • Hey Ola! That happened to me with my bf, I felt like I was trying really hard and he didn’t give me the same amount of respect that I was giving him, he lied to me a few times even when I had proof but I decided to keep trying because I loved him. I asked him if he wanted to broke up he said I should go to my room (i was living with him) the next day I grabbed my stuff and left, that was 4 days ago, I’m sad but I know I cannot go back to that but I miss him and care for him deeply 🙁 i have my job, i paid for my stuff and even some of his i tried to prove myself worthy and… well… here i am

    • I hope you’re doing okay. The feeling of despair is the worst. I went a 7-8 months of barely eating losing 50lbs. Constantly dreaming of being back in the relationship filled with joy just to wake up and realizing it wasn’t real. I had a friend I talked to every day he helped me get through it. You need a friend you can confide to about this. Don’t go through this alone. God bless.

  31. About 5 months ago I asked a girl ( that I had loved for over 3 years ) to be my GF. She said yes and I think I passed out 5 minutes later. But then one month ago, at a school dance she broke up with me. So, I did what any heart broken guy would do. I went in the bathroom and I cried the whole time.and to this day, I am still depressed???

    • I want you to know you are not alone, we all react that way (crying and sadness). But more importantly, I want you to know that time really does heal this. Over a period of 10 years, the same woman broke my heart three times. Still I am glad to have experienced loving her, and I smile inside when I think of her. So Inkling, it will be better!

  32. I was in a 14 yr relationship and out the blue my life just did a 360 turn. He left me then about 2 months later he came back I was happy again then about a month later he left again moved to another city live with a girl but tell me I can’t date I feel so sad and empty besides the joy I get from my kids I don’t what I do but I’m very lonesome

  33. Here is something to reassure all of you that you are not alone. I started with some basic facts: world population = 7 billion; average life expectancy = 70 years. Then I made an educated guess that the average person endures 2 broken hearts in their life time. Based on those inputs, I calculated that there are 6 broken hearts per second world wide. If all those people can get through it and move on…so can you!

    • my heart was broken with various degrees of pain six times- twice with the same girl. So we do heal. but I am so brain looped out with past regrets and confusion on my latest breakup! I feel mentally damaged forever!

    • Thank u. 2 broken hearts in a lifetime. So theirs still hope.

  34. Hi! Never ever posted on a blog before but I could really do with some advice… desperate times!
    Feeling totally unappreciated for the last 6 months or so. I have been with my partner for just over 3 years and I honestly don’t know why.
    He is cold, rude, selfish and unkind towards me yet I still desire him for all the charming traits he had when we first met. I think about him all the time. To this day I fight to keep the flame alive, I am attractive (I get a very fair amount of attention from good looking, well established men all the time), I’m hard working, I work 5 days a week and run my own business, I’m extremely caring and have cared for members of my own family until end of life. I cook him anything he wants to eat, I make sure I always look my best for him, and I am fiercely loyal, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for the people I love. I shower him with love and affection, random messages through the day so he always knows he is desired. Due to our busy schedule we always leave Saturday nights for me and him, but recently he just wants to go out with his friends and get extremely drunk. I tell him maybe I should do the same and he says its different for girls than it is for guys. The worst thing is I cant actually do the same as him because I cut off all my friends to make him happy, he has something bad to say about every single one of them. If we fight, its because I express how I feel calmly, and he will be so nasty and insensitive, he will swear at me, tell me to leave if I don’t like it- just completely disregards my feelings in every possible way. And on top of that, I’ll be the one to get the silent treatment for days until I break the silence (being stubborn is not my strong point). I find myself apologizing for his actions.
    I want him to love me and desire me the way he used to so desperately but I’m beginning to realize this is unlikely. He is clearly enjoying being the person he is and despite loving him so much I don’t think I can share my future with him.
    Right now it seems as though hitting him with a magic wand to make him realize what’s happening seems more likely then plucking up the strength to leave him.

    • HI
      IF YOU STOP DOING EVERYTHING FOR THEM ,HE WILL NOTICE IT.
      BUILD YOUR CHARACTER ON THIS EMOTION PAIN.

  35. So glad you are reaching out for help. It sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. Some of the signs of an abusive relationship are the alienation (isolating you from friends), verbal abuse, and manipulation. Here is a blog about abusive relationships – https://www.thehopeline.com/8-abusive-dating-relationships/ It helps to talk about it. HopeCoaches are available on chat 24/7. https://www.thehopeline.com/chat-now/ It is free and confidential. We care about you!

  36. My name is Moises and i need help. after 4 years in a relationship, it has been the hardest year of my life me and her have been on and off living together splitting up and getting back together every time she cheated on me i would always come back and forgive her i truly loved this girl i mean i completely fell in love with this girl i never understood why she kept cheating and sleeping with different guys i never understood why she would do it and come back 6 times in 4 years this happened she would apologies and tell me how much she loved me i gave her everything and to her 2 boys 1 and 3yr old all the way to 5 and 7. But i always forgave her this last time we split for good 1 year we didnt talk at all not only did me and her didnt talk but i cut off the world from me i have no friends i have some family that understands me but thats it. and work i just come do my job and go home. for 1 year all of 2015 i wasted i cant take women serious i cant me and her were having relations every now and then what made it worse after i thought me and her were working things out and giving me hope she might come back turned out she was married to someone else after he caught on me and her were talking i was DEVASTATED i took 2 weeks off i went on a rampage i was drinking i was going to sex clubs orgy clubs i was smoking weed drinking doing coke just threw my life away after my 2 weeks i came back to work i stoped everything now i am an animal i have sex with different women i cheat cant take no one serious anymore im lost there is more to my story but i googled what can help i came across this website i noticed a couple of bold spots on my hair idk if it from depression but i just cant seem to care about women anymore. i am afraid to love i am afraid to give in a couple of women have tried to help me and love but once they question me about my past i cut them off and shut them out of my life. Please help me

  37. Oh dear Rosh I am sorry! Now he is showing you his true nature, whereas before he was able to mask that with his charm in order to win you over. There is no magic wand of course…so please do whatever is needed to end this hurtful relationship. Build a support group by reaching out to your old friends, co-workers, family and a counselor. You know that you are desirable and worthy of the best possible relationship with a man that will nurture your soul. I wish you well Rosh.

  38. Rosh
    What you just described is my whole relationship with him.I caught Him Cheating And I Knew that I could never trust him again. I asked him to move out and he packed his things however he’s still keeping a here however he’s not staying here anymore His priorities were his friends and drinking. He blames me for the relationship going south because I am not trusting however actions speak louder than words when I approached him about the cheating he had no remorse and nothing to say I knew I could not be walked all over like this and my life has completely changed but I’m hoping that it will get better

  39. Great post on getting over a broken heart. I know that energy healing also helps a person feel at ease again when the sharp jabs of pain is relieved.

  40. 1 month ago, 5 months before our wedding, my (now Ex) fiancé told me that he wasn’t ready to get married and just up and left me. I went from seeing this man everyday for 4 years to not seeing him in a month. only to find out he had been cheating on my with a coworker of his. I have plenty of friends and family but still feel incredibly alone and completely hurt. I just want to feel normal again. I want to feel happy again.

    • HI JCIS2
      THIS WILL DETERMINE YOUR CHARACTER
      WE ALL HAVE EMOTIONAL PAIN . BUT IT’S YOUR CHARACTER THAT WILL BUILD YOU THROUGH THIS TIME. YOUR DAY WILL COME.

  41. I get hurt repeatedly. I’m already suicidal and suffer from depression and ptsd. idk what to do. I’m 29 and in relationships I’m a giver. ill do anything to make the person happy, not because I feel its the only way for someone to want me but because it makes me happy to do so

  42. You and I are on the same boat……..But if I learned from my first heart break it is to give that person space. Give him or her time to think. If you’re being persistent on getting back together it will only drive him/her away. It gets annoying and pathetic. Trust me I know. The love is still there. You just have occupy yourself and do your own thing. When it’s time to talk it out then it will be a fresh start. I hope you feel better.

  43. Rosh, google the word “narcissist” or “traits of narcissists”. Also search for it on youtube. It may answer your questions. Do it. These types of people are very dangerous and can bring you down.

  44. This is going to feel weird, but I’m going to give it a try. For all of you, I am only 14 years old. I know this is childish, but I pretended to be a boy, and I met someone over a virtual game, and we talked in real life over the phone and on stuff, and I fell in love with her. I fell in love with her personality, looks, etc.. And I did whatever I had to for this girl. And one day I found her Instagram and Twitter and stuff and got anxiety. Now let me all remind you. I’m in love. I know you say 14 year olds can’t be in love but I am in love. And ten months later, this girl decided to tell me that wasn’t actually her and that she’s a year younger and whatever. So I fell in love with someone who has no clue who I am. So I am currently heartbroken and depressed. I can’t tell anyone, I haven’t eaten in four days, and I just feel so sad. So I messaged this girl on Instagram and for two to three days she wouldn’t reply and so then today her friend snapchatted me. She asked me who I was etc., and told me that the girl wasn’t going to reply to my messages. (She was with the girl and her boyfriend at the time) and the boyfriend sent me a message of him telling me to stop messaging his girlfriend (I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend) and so then the other girl sent me a picture of him hugging her saying that she’ll never reply to my messages. And that just broke my heart. I talked to the girl (not the one that I am in love with a bit and kind of sorted things out, but now I am just so anxious, depressed, and sad. I really loved this girl. I know I did so many things wrong, and that this is silly, but I’m losing interest in things and the world and I just want to commit suicide and die. So can somebody please help me. I need advice. I don’t want to talk to them again. It gives me too much anxiety and I’ll probably get hated on. I have lost my appetite and am just forever sad. I feel as if it is never going to get better. Or if I am never going to be happy again. Oh and by the way I have anxiety and OCD. Thank you

  45. I caught my husband of 8 years cheating. But he denies it saying it was his cousin doing it and not him. I have phone and text records proving him wrong. He was the love of my life and upon hearing this news, it put me in the hospital. I was not in a safe place. I have lost 9 pounds in 2 weeks. I dont eat, sleep, I hate doing anything anymore without him. I love him so much.
    I don’t get why people feel they have to cheat on their S.O. As I sit her contemplating doing something stupid, I just want him in my arms and bed and heart again.

  46. met my old crush 2 days ago.. i never thought i’d get my heart so broken after all these times.. again. i felt like i was being used. the first time was bad enough that i cried for 3 days straight knowing he went out with my friend (ex friend), whom he clearly knew how hateful i feel about her. i mean yes she’s pretty.. i felt like “how can i compete with that bubbly personality of hers” the worst part is that.. i knew he texted me all these while just bcoz he was bored as he is being posted to a remote area in my state. i lived 3 hours away from his work place. he started texted me in instagram n asking to go out with him for a weekend getaway. i asked why me? he said “bcoz u r flexible. everything is a yes with u. i donno..” i knew the answer was bad. but i still let him used me, whats wrong with me.. the whole week he texted me convincing me to go with him, he was so sweet like he was never that friendly before.,so. yeah i met him. he was sweet just like the first time we met. then when we seperated.. that was it. no sound. not even a hey…no nothing.. 🙁 if u’re gonna say im an idiot. i know it already.. so plis tell me something i dont know…

  47. Thanks for sharing honestly. You are not alone. We are here for you. It sounds like the two of you will need to go through some counseling together. Sometimes people can’t tell the truth, because they are afraid that if you knew who they “really” were you wouldn’t love them. Please contact one of our HopeCoaches to talk more about this. We are here 24/7 and all chats are free and confidential. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
    We also have a free eBook on cheating that you can download. http://info.thehopeline.com/relationshipscheating-ebook
    Please contact us! We care about you.

    • it sounds like you still love him. so, forgive him and move on. its not the end of the world you know, there are much worse things in life than people having sex. it breaks the trust you had in him, but this can be rebuilt.

  48. I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. It helps to talk to someone who is not in the situation. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches. All chats are free and totally private. We can help you walk through this. Please contact us anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
    Here is a youtube video of someone who was helped by a HopeCoach. It really does work. Chat with us.
    https://youtu.be/JBVezZV60ng

  49. I just found out my love of 10years married someone else. Today I feel numb. Work has really helped me keep my mind off stuff, but there are those hours or minutes when tears just fall. Worst is the fact that I cannot express myself to anyone. He said the marriage was by force, he says that he’ll make it right. But I don’t want to expect too much. I know I can no longer love him. But it’s just too sudden. I have not yet recovered.

    • That is devastating news. I am so sorry. Thanks for sharing. We are here for you 24/7 anytime you want to chat with a HopeCoach online. It is free and private – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We are here for you!

  50. I fell in love with a dead boy. This is how my last relationship
    could be described. I opened up my heart and got hurt so badly. I only want to mention that I’m not easily attracted to men. He is a divorcée, 8 years older
    than me and he swept me off my feet when I first met him. I thought he was the
    one. As we were dating and I was falling
    for him I got to find out that he has maaany issues i.e. depression, anti-depressants, workaholism, pot lover, alcohol. He was emotionally shut down; he was immune to feelings as he
    worded it once. I so consumed with the relationship that I didn’t even notice that it was dysfunctional – I was giving and not getting anything in return. The only thing I wanted was his time and attention. He was flawless in my eyes and I always wanted to be there for him. I never asked questions,
    I was trying to be supportive and understanding, gave him as much space as he
    needed. When I finally got the courage to tell him openly how I feel and what I want he left saying that he can’t give me what I want that he’s set
    in his ways and we want different things. He never let himself to have any
    feelings for me. He was very good to me in the beginning but the depression took over. I’m so broken. It’s been already two months and I’m still crying. Oh,
    the tears! I feel pathetic and miserable. I’ve already gone through
    break-ups but this is different, devastating, soul-sucking, maybe because I
    live alone in a foreign country with no close friends. Maybe because I thought
    he was the man of my life. I could never be back with him but I don’t want
    anyone else. I feel so scarred, fearful and distrustful.

  51. I am on a long distance relationship for 3 years.things were good initially but now it’s not like what it used to be.he keep on giving excuse (busy with work),didn’t talk much,rarely call and being too sensetive(easily hurt by what i said).im trying my best to fix our relationship but he just don’t care anymore.these days we argue a lot and i end up keep on saying im sorry as i really love him.now i slowly feel the pain of broken heart as he keep on ignoring me and i have a feeling that he no longer love me.trying my best to prepare for the worst as i already experienced this heart break once and it scares me to the extend i have nightmare regularly because of this.by the way,im 30 and he is 26

  52. Long distance relationships can be really difficult. We are here if you want to talk about it. Chatting with a HopeCoach is totally free and confidential. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  53. It is very difficult. if you want to talk about something I am willing to help because God helped me as well during those perilous times of my life

  54. I’m 23 and just got dumped by my 21 year old girl after we decided to go on a break. During the ‘break’ I was fine because I thought we would get back together but she decided she didn’t like me as much anymore. I reacted badly and begged and begged her to get back with me which I think made things worst. Now I found out she’s already seeing another guy (it’s literally been only a month or so) and I’m still hurting like crazy even though she said she liked me so much and the reason she wanted to break up was so she could be alone and find to love herself which turned out to be a big fat lie! It hurts even more now

    • Wow, that really hurts. I am sorry you are going through this. If you want to chat our HopeCoaches are available 24/7 and it’s free. https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ We are here for you!

  55. My boyfriend of 9 years, has a bachelor’s degree in psychology. I’m speechless because he lied and cheated on me for all these years and somehow he always blamed me and made me feel I did something wrong to deserve it. Looking back, I see behavioral patterns that created a need in me to try harder and be better or thoughts that I’m useless, worthless and no one will ever love me… so I held on… I blame no one but myself… I should have known better but I could never think clearly around him… A little over a month ago, I caught him in another lie, packed up my things and finally walked away but I’m so broken and confused as to what, how and why that I’ve become mentally paralyzed. I’m shattered & torn… I feel totally crazy… He made me doubt my every thought, emotion and question what was real… I feel like my mind was wiped clean of who I once was and all that is left of me are the memories he created for me…

    • He was a user. He may have loved you but he didn’t respect you. Love yourself first and never let anyone make you feel worthless. If there are things that you need to work on, work on them but don’t let and one own your emotions like that.

  57. it happens sometimes. you forgot who you are. and you forgot because you probably lived for him and what was important for you was is happiness. so, the self, yourself, disappeared in a way. you have to find back who you are. Meditation can help, walk in nature, ask for help etc.

  58. well, looks like your self esteem took a hit. tell yourself that you are a wonderful person and you deserve better. its not easy, time helps, but changing your thoughts will help a lot faster, good luck.

  59. Hi
    I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for a while. When we first met, he denied having a girlfriend but I found out later. I was devastated. It’s been hard to let go since then. It’s been almost a year and I’ve just been going back and forth. Today, he’s finally said the truth I’ve known out loud; he can’t leave his girl friend for me. I’m in so much pain. It’s not like anything I’ve felt before. I’m not old but I felt like I had found the one for me. We had such a good connection and to say he made glow inside out is an understatement. I don’t know if there’s any worse feeling

  60. Hi guys, I know how it feels because I’m going through it now too. But my now ex I have to see 5 out of the 7 days. I’m in high school now, senior year, and all my classes happen to be with her. She keeps breaking up with me but expecting me to still be inlove with her. It’s been a few days now since we’ve talked, and it’s April vacation. I know I sound young but still, I’ve been with her for 8 months and she just keeps making me feel like I’m insane. I know that she cheated on me but she still says it’s my fault. I love very deeply and I know I’m a good person that would never intentionally hurt a woman but she makes me feel like that’s just a lie. I’ve been looking all over the web for how to deal with it, since it’s really my first one. Her family and mine were very close too and I loved hanging around with her siblings. I feel so unmotivated and depressed it’s unreal. I don’t know what to do since ill always see her and I know shell try to rope me back in every time.

  61. Hi! My boyfriend broke up with me. We been together for 5 years, we almost spend everyday together since he is only working in politics and never practice his profession, so we had a lot of time being together. We enjoy going out always even on long trips. We usually had each other in anywhere. We also fight but it was resolved quickly. Time had fly that I took chance to go abroad, we still do have our daily communication thru skype and facebook. A month ago, he had the chance to work in a resto for his profession as well as he is still serving in their community. We got fewer times to communicate because of his hectic schedule, and that event changes everything in our relationship, we had a fight it was just like the old fight but this time it wasn’t resolved. He started to break up with me and he said that he is not happy anymore in our relationship. It is that fast for a man to forget those 5 beautiful years? I feel like devastated and cried every tears that I have. He said that he needs time and space for us to grow separately. I know I also had my fault because being apart sometimes can lead to being possesive and clinge, that was my problem. He said that time will heal the wounds and he said that time will answer everything. It is very hard to call off the engagement.

  62. Being betrayed by the person you have trusted the most is definitely one of the hardest things to experience. It’s like experiencing a death because you are grieving the lost dreams, relationship, and love. If you want to chat about it, we are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  63. hi,my boyfriend of 3 years recently finished with me, we live over an hour away from eachother and had both alot on with university and work, we had both lived in the same area for university and seen eachother all the time and the relationship was amazing, after i finished and moved home we started seeing less of eachother. we still made effort to travel, but it started to dwindle after time and i started a new job. i had got so frustrated with not seeing him or how he was making less effort to see or organise things i constantly started to fight with him and tell him whats the point if theres no effort. we fought on an off for a month/2 then he was really quiet and distant with me one day and i brought it up and he finished with me saying he doesnt know why but he just doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore, ‘it had been getting him down all the fighting’ and he was in final semester of final year university and had alot on.. i realised looking back i had been selfish too and immediately regretted everything i had down because he was an amazing person. he said he loved me and he wished we will try again in the future but now the time isnt right for us. hes cut of contact with me and told me to move on, he has been nice in messages back to me but continues that he doesnt want a relationship anymore. i really want to get him back, its been 2 months post break up and i havent moved on. the only thing that helps is the hope we will get back together. we have never broken up before and this is so out of character for him and i feel like i dont know him anymore! he says he hates himself cause he doesnt know why he feels like this and he wish he didnt but that its just not right at the moment. its 2 months this week and ive finally decided to cut all complete contact, but i genuinely dread it, and i regret so much how i let this relationship fail 🙁 would love any advice right now

    • I have had something happen to me similarly very recently. 3 months ago. I don’t have much amazing advice for you because I am sure your situation is unique… but you are not alone in heartbreak. I can only speak from my particular experience and things that are working for me. Give him the space he needs. He needs to process and needs space and time, some more than others. I made a list of all the things I loved about my partner and I made a list of all the things I love about myself. I have also been listening to the audio book, The Power of Now, by Ekart Toile, which I highly recommend to anyone going through a time in their life of overwhelming change where you need to still your mind. Focus on the beauty and less on the attack of your own heart and mind… or the other persons… (deflecting here away from him and not sharing or projecting your feelings on to him)… I think it only pushes them further away and is none productive. It certainly will not make the other person love you more or want what they do or do not want. Focus on the love of yourself. If you feel responsible in anyway, take responsibility, accept it, grow from it. Think about and do things that build and make your spirit happy instead of focusing on the negativity. Aren’t you an amazing person? I am sure you are! You are not responsible for the entirety of the relationships failure(s). Accept where he is if you really love him and know that if he does not want what you want he might just be at another place, have other feelings that he is not capable of feeling whether he is ready or not or unwilling or even if you are not the right person for him. Let him be himself. That is the best love you can give someone in my opinion. Also let yourself be yourself and love who you are. This is also the best love you can give. If you do have contact, focus on the positive in your life. These are only my opinions and what has been helping me to cope, to mourn, and stay positive and grow from the situation of truly losing someone I love. I don’t know if these things will help you or not… but seek things out that will help you and that speak to you.

      • Wow! This is the best advise I have read. I am going through the same pain. It hurts so much. But I know that when you feel pain, it only means you have loved for real. I just need to embrace that pain and hope that it will eventually go away.

    • Hi cara, it’s good that you’ve decided to not contact him anymore. That will help you move on. Try to not hope that things will go back to normal bec that will prolong your suffering. Instead, focus on yourself now. I know its hard, almost next to impossible, to do that, but try to get him out of your system. Don’t hold on to him. I know your post is 2 months old but right now m going thru the same thing. I can’t believe he broke up with me, it’s not in his character. But i guess we both didn’t know them well enough, because they did the unthinkable to us. Anyway, focus on urself. Talk to your mom, priest, shrink, anyone to help you. It’s time to love ourselves now.

  64. My boyfriend broke up with two days after we went on an amazing date he had planned. I have been with this guy for 5 years and out of the blue he said he doesn’t love me anymore and that we should just be friends nothing more. I’m so heart broken, I can’t sleep I get chills like I’m sick. I’ve been crying all day and night to where I get a headache and I haven’t eaten in almost 24 hours its like I lost my will to do anything. He was really my whole world I pretty much workshoped this guy and now I feel so lost.

    • HI KATHY
      WE ALL HAVE EMOTIONAL PAIN AFTER A HARD BREAK-UP.
      TIMES LIKE THESE IS WHERE YOUR CHARACTER IS BUILD.
      CHARACTER IS BUILD DURING HARD TIMES [ NOT GOOD TIMES].
      YOUR DAY WILL COME AND YOUR OTHER WILL NOTICE

    • HANG IN THERE
      HE WILL CONTAT YOU AGAIN / YOUR PART IS NOT TO BOMBARD HIM WITH TEXTING, CALLS OR EMAIL /HE WILL MISS YOU

  65. In May of last year I developed breast cancer long story short it’s spread. My husband of 13 years decided he couldn’t handle the stress of my cancer and him working and decided work was more important. I’m not from here I have no family and no friends. I am still battling cancer alone my heart is broken and I feel like it’s best if I just give up and not do treatment anymore. I’ve never felt so alone and so heartbroken in my life he’s been gone for five months But the wounds are still fresh. I don’t know what to do anymore.

    • I can’t even begin to imagine the devastation of your husband leaving when you are battling cancer. We do not want you to feel alone. We are here to help and to encourage you. Please chat with us anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  66. my husband left me with my four young children because i found him cheating for another another girl. its been 3 months since he left us and we don,t know where he lives. he never contact me and my children. we’ve been 20 years of getting married and this is the devastating part of my life since my world only turns to him all my life. i know, i’ve been busy for many years in my job as a teacher in elementary grade and as well part time professor in college, i know that i don,t have much time to spend with them since i am very busy with my work to save and for our future, i didn,t know that for 3 years he keep that infidelity over me, i just caught him doing such thing when i delivered my youngest baby last year and she is 8 months now, because my husband felt uneasy because they could no longer do what they used with his women since i stayed home after delivery. when i caught them last year, he rejected me and my children and he let me see what she is doing with such girl, he never stays home and sleep more nights with girl, she almost buried me, the whole of me is put to death, he wanted to hurt me more and more so i will give up and they will now have a chance with his mistress to live together, but through my patience and feeling that he will change, i never gave up for the sake of my children.
    it hurts me so much for the moments that weve been through for quit 20 years of being together, as marriage vows kept. but what happened now to us is a nightmare in my part and its not easy coping with such pain coz its dying the whole of me…i always cry at night and even in days thinking about what happened and i pity my children for that. i dont want them to grow having this kind of family coz i never dream this in y whole life…i dont know waht to do with myself and i really cant let go of my feeling..because i love my husband so much, i always have the forgiving heart that no matter what he do, he will always be forgiven. but what can i do if he alone dont work for us to be back and fix our relationship..i turn all to GOD, i keep praying everyday, every hour, every minute and always asking God if there will be a chance for us to met and be back again.
    ping

  67. I really wish it were that easy. I consider myself to be someone with a very strong mind but I don’t seem to be able to stop hurting. I was married when I was 19 we have 4 children and now after 26 years of marriage he has called it over. All the talking, yelling and crying doesn’t stop the hurting from the dream of growing old together.

    • I am so sorry you are having to go through this. There is so much to grieve over the loss of dreams and the end of a life together plus the pain of watching your children deal with it, too. If you would like to for someone to offer up prayers on your behalf we have a partner website, http://www.theprayerzone.com/ I can’t even begin to imagine the feelings of loss and betrayal.

    • I agree, she said she found herself after ten years and five children. I hearts is broken. But I can’t blame her. I was always right never wrong never showed emotion to show I loved her. So now I stand here alone at 45. My fault.

      • Well she said she would give me another chance and try to make it work. July the 2nd she said she is done. Just a few days sgo she said she was falling in love with me.and now the pain begins again. I tried and used all what I have read on this blog to become a better friend partner, lover husband and now nothing. I just don’t understand she keeps saying she is not happy.so now I have to move on. Its very painful and going thru surgery in a few days I’ll be down for weeks. I still will be in the same house. I pray these days will fast so I can heal emotionally and physically and a New place.a new start. Just wanting the pain to stop. But in time it will, just takes time.

    • same situation here. Hope you are doing well now.

  68. I don’t usually leave comments on stuff like this but I am a Christian female in my early 20s and I started talking to a guy who went to my church that I truly thought was a friend. I had a crush on him since middle school. We started talking only after he took it upon himself to express his feelings to me and tell me I was the first girl he ever had a crush on. We weren’t in a relationship but we talked to each other for a few months like everyday and everything seemed great and then he let me know he had to deploy for about 6 mos. I am one of those people that loves and cares about people deeply and I fell in love with him during the months we shared before he left. He came back a little early and let me know when he got back but then communication fell silent between us for about two months. Finally I called him up and asked him what we were doing and if he was with someone else. He told me he wasn’t with anyone else but he liked me and some other girl and that he had moved because of school but in very close proximity to said girl. About two months later from that convo they were married and seven to eight months from that convo their child was born. This has all happened within a span of a year and three months ago. It feels like every part of me slowly dies every day. I can’t get it off my mind but I think it’s because I always think of what I could have possibly done to deserve this kind of torture and pain. I still love him and I feel all the more guilty for it because he’s married now. I don’t even recognize myself anymore and looking in the mirror is the worst. I can barely stand hearing his name let alone seeing his face.

  69. I love that lil part ❤️

  70. I have been with my husband 26 years, he started to be mean, rude and just nasty. I loved him so much and I wanted him to tell me what’s going on with him, he said he can’t. He doesn’t communicate with me. I’m so hurt. I checked his visa and he had been spending time at suites and bought a female $400 sunglasses.. And I get nothing for my birthday. He said it didn’t mean anything but I’m destroyed. He says he loves me but wants me to go on with my life. Im so destroyed. He does things to show me that he doesn’t love me and I keep holding on why? It hurts to much and he doesn’t care. He has no remorse. He says it hurts him too but it doesn’t. He changed his visa so I can’t see what he buys anymore. He doesn’t care how I feel. The kids are older now and say we need to move on. How do u leave someone u loved for so long? I’m broken and all i do is cry. He tells me that he’s doing things that I won’t like. He says he hasn’t cheated but I don’t believe him. The suites, the dinners, the gifts show me otherwise. I don’t know what to do. How do I love on? It hurts so deep

  71. This really helped me a lot thanks so much

  72. Hi. I’m 45 and my relationship of 6 months ended. He said he thought we argued too much and that I’m too sensitive. We clicked very early on, and have talked about getting married over the past month. I am so heartbroken, and feel like there must be something wrong with me that he ended it like this. It seems like once a person gets to know me, I get rejected over and over again. I dont want to do anything but stay in bed, and not feel the pain. The weekend is here and I have no idea how I will get through it. I dont want to see anyone and I dont want to do anything. Thank you for listening.

  73. I loved some one so deeply and they told me they loved me and that i was the most important thing to them, only to find out they have been sending pictures of themself to someone else and carrying on a relationship. i am devastated. I asked her to please just tell me and I would not get in the way if ever they wanted to leave, but they would lie and lie and lie. Now I am so crushed I can’t even breathe.

  74. I’m a 22 year old woman I just got dumped from a 3 year relationship they left me for another woman I tried so hard to make things work I gave my all even when I knew he was doing wrong ….
    I’m heart broken I know I’m young but I thought that was the person I would spend the rest of my life with. …
    I can’t eat I can’t sleep the thoughts won’t stop my heart races every time I think of the other woman I don’t know why I deserve this

    • Hi Jasmine of every thing that i have read i tend to relate to you more.. i’m also 22 years old and just got dumped from a 3 years relationship.He cheated and even though i forgave him, he cant forgive himself and thinks i deserve better so he broke up with me. Try and eat something and get your rest because even though i love that guy with all my heart and i’m hurting right now, i sleep like a baby and eat around the clock, i laugh as much as possible and do whats best for me…………… we only get one life to live and we’re not sure when that will expire so make use of the time you have and keep yourself beautiful, its his lost…it makes no sense we sit and cry when their living their life

  75. Breaking up is hard! I’m dealing with one now. I feel physically sick

  76. I’m 24 and the guy that I completely feel head over heels for broke up with me out of the blue a few days before my Dad died over the phone. He was my absolute rock of support and strengthened me like no one ever had. I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. We’d only been together for 6 months but it really was the real thing, or so I thought. We connected deeper than I have ever connected with anyone. To the point that we’d only have to look at each other to know if something was wrong. There was one night in particular where we were on a night out and I was stood by the bar waiting to be served. He was stood behind me with his back to me and we instinctively reached out for each other and found each others hand at the same time. The feelings keep coming from nowhere and they are that potent I feel like they are going to drown me. I’ve been through break ups before but nothing has ever felt this painful before. It feels like my heart is shattered and is ripping me apart. Everyone keeps telling me that it will get easier and fade with time, but it isn’t. It’s been nearly two months and the love I have for him in’t fading, if anything it is getting stronger. He has blocked me on everything and I have no way of speaking to him, we’ve only seen each other twice in the last 7 weeks. He told me a few weeks ago that he wanted to try again and said that we were back together but then two days later he kicked off with me and told me he was done with me. Everyone has said he only did that to get me into bed but I can’t believe that of him, he isn’t that kind of guy. He has accused me of being emotionally abusive and has changed so drastically towards me. It has caught me so off guard because I’ve always thought of my self as being empathetic and caring to a point of always wanting to help people. I really don’t know what to do :'( this is making me question the very foundations of who I am, I feel like I don’t know who I am any more.

  77. Few months ago I met a guy and I was loving him and I believe him. I have learned my lesson not to fall in love so fast. I’m not fully recover yet. But after reading this it does help me a lot. I’m a strong lady and I’m happy to feel hurts to make me a stronger person.

  78. Hi guys this really helped me!
    The key is to fully feel the negative emotion rather than resist it. Its the resistance that hurts us, not the emotion itself!

    • Thank you so much for this video. Five years after ending a 22+ relationship with my childhood love, father of my kids, and what I thought was the love of my life, I managed to empower myself esteem and control my emotions; even forgive many people who had betrayed and hurt me. I met someone on line. The chemistry, the desires, and plans we sought for our future, were cmutual between us at our point in life and we fell in love immediately. I thought I met my soul mate and for him, I evolved my whole life around us. He claimed to have done the same, but 2 years and 10 months later, he was able to walk away from our relationship after all we had fought, cried, and done for eachother and what no other relationship may not have gone through in such a short perod of time. We attempted counseling at his request, while living seperated and only managed to get two sessions in before he exploded and said he was done and walked out on both me and the physician. He left owing me money and in such a financial bind, but continues to claim his love for me and promising he will make due what he owes. I found out and discovered lots of inconspicuous behaviors with in the months of our relationship ending, but of course he denies it all.
      I have such a support team (my daughter, my bestfriend, my co workers), but nothing seems to be able to help me through fighting the desperate hurt I feel in waves. I find myself crying in the shower, while I make coffee, and I times while I’m sitting at the computer studying and get angry at myself for feeling and allowing myself to feel this way, but this video is somewhat of a comforting reassurance that I’m suppose to feel this and should. Thank you from the bottom of my aching heart.

  79. One more thought. You can care about someone without becoming attached. Real Love is that way, it cares without attachment. It is the most attractive state. Detachment precedes magnetism….

  80. Just yesterday i found out the guy i’ve been in love with, was actually dating another girl during the time. I knew we werent in a real relationship but there was flriting, and touching, and other physical sexual aspects. I thought for sure he was just not ready to have a full relationship because he was going into the army. We are also both christians so i felt safe. I was being so stupid and niave, and now i feel dirty and heartbroken now that i know that he is the exact type of person i thought i would avoid, and that i am technically the other woman.

  81. Hi, I am a 32 year old woman with 4 children who has been madly in love with a younger man for the past 3 years. I just recently broke off our relationship due to some very immature ways of his but now I am suffering from a broken heart and I know time heals all wounds but this is my first time in life ever feeling like I made the worst mistake in my life I don’t know how to move on and he is pretty much done with me and my children and we all are very much devastated!!!! I don’t know how to cope with this even thou this was my discussion I really feel like I have no hope and I just want to check out on life and this moment everyone around says girl just shake it but I can’t and for the sake of me and my 4 I really need some advise

  82. I just broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years. The main cause was her drinking. Many knew that she had a problem. I asked her many times to cut down and even stop. It got to the point where I couldn’t continue with our relationship. I know we can’t get back together and I am so heart broken. I tried along with members of her family to get her to quit. I feel as if I wasn’t good enough to get her to stop.

    • Addiction is very powerful. Please know that it is not about whether you were good enough to get her to stop. One of the things they say about alcohol is that it is “cunning, baffling, and powerful.” We have a free eBook that goes into more detail – http://info.thehopeline.com/substanceabuse-ebook We are also here for you if you want to talk to us about it anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  83. That is definitely a lot of heartache for you and your children. It is definitely a grieving process, but you can get through it. Thankfully you and your children have each other. If you want to talk we are here for you 24/7 – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  84. What a horrible thing for him to do to you. Please don’t think of yourself as the other woman, because you didn’t even know what he was doing. What he did was very wrong. If you want to talk about it we are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  85. There was this guy.. At first we started talking a little bit in history class, and he was so funny and made me laugh everyday. He was the light of my day a lot of days.
    Then I realized I liked him more than other people. He was always so positive, and he had so much spunk, but I think it was his light brown eyes. He had so much soul in his eyes; you could just see it.
    We started growing a bit closer, but we never got to hang out. He had this one friend– her name was Sarah — and she made sure to keep other girls away from him because she secretly liked him.
    I shared so many secrets with him.
    And we had all these moments. There was this one time where we just listened to music with earbuds in the middle of history class and we had such similar tastes in music. Whenever I listen to “Wake Me Up” by Avicii or “She’s Country” by Jason Aldean on the radio I think of him.
    Then, after about four months, I realized I loved him. And I NEVER take that word lightly. He was just so funny, caring, spunky, he smiled a lot, but most of all, I fell in love with his eyes. I swear he has a kind soul just by looking into them. And eyes never change. He will always have those beautiful light brown eyes.
    But after six months, he started dating Sarah. I think the most heartbreaking part about it was the fact he didn’t tell me until their two week anniversary. Yea. So much for a connection.
    But a heartbreak is just a break in half, right? So there’s always hope. Hope they will realize what is right in front of them. Hope they will see you. Hope that they will fall in love with your eyes like you did with theirs.
    I decided to text him about his new girlfriend on Clash of Clans. Yea, I know, it is really lame. But I didn’t want to be alone. Also, my mom had an account that he wouldnt recognize, so I asked her to be my wingwoman I guess. (: It went a bit like this:
    Me: hey everybody
    Him: hey
    Me: whats up
    Him: nm just texting my gf lol hbu
    Me: thats awesome! and welcome to the dating world lol you two are a cute couple
    SIDE NOTE.. I THOUGHT HE HAD NEVER DATED BEFORE
    Him: Thanks! but you know this isnt the first gf ive had right lol
    Me: oh lol
    Me: oh wait didnt you date Stevie?
    (SIDE NOTE.. Stevie is someone he said he really liked and they snapchatted A LOT and i dunno they just seemed like they had dated.)
    Him: No haha
    Random Stranger(a.k.a mom): You two have a weird friendship.
    Me: lol thanks (way to go mom! saracasm.)
    Him: I guess we do lol
    Mom: So have you two ever dated?
    Him: no we havent
    Mom: If you dont mind me asking, why not?
    ###Him: I’m going to let lacey answer that.
    Me: I dunno I like being single (LIES) and he likes Sarah.
    …
    the convo ended pretty soon after that, etc, etc. But remember what I said about hope? Well my mom pointed something out.
    ##Him: I’m going to let lacey answer that##
    I didn’t see the hope in that until my mom interpreted it like this:
    “He liked you, Lacey. Or still likes you. He didn’t know why you two were never together.”
    I interpreted it like this:
    “He just didn’t want to hurt my feelings or say the wrong thing. He wants me to move on, and maybe I should.”
    Now my question is, and I know this is The Hope Line, but please be 100% honest. That’s the hope I need. I need either hope that someday I might have a chance to be with him, or the hope to move on from him.
    What do you think he meant?
    Thanks for taking the time to read this.
    -Lacey

  86. it will be more hurt when a man did confess his love but at the end of the day it just like he couldn’t find love in the relationship whereby he too enthusiastic with his career which somehow i dont know what he really want. what make me more hurt is sometime he can act as lover sometime treat me as buddy and drive me into confusing relationship. i ever ask him, what kind of relationship are we, but he just say, we are friend. but how come friend can kissed friend.
    so now i just let it be,and let him do what he wanna to do.

  87. My husband has been having flirtatious relationships with various women pretty much the entire time we’ve been together. He says it’s because I push and push and accuse him of cheating that he cheated. I hurt so bad. I want the pain to go away. I’m literally only here still because of my 6 month of daughter. I hurt more than I’ve ever hurt before. I’ve been divorced before.. he was emotionally and physically abusive. I would rather be beat up to the point of bleeding then feel the way I do right now. I just want to die but I refuse to leave my daughter. She is my miracle baby. I just can’t get over this pain. I hurt so bad.

  88. May be you loved your partner with full heart and soul, but it doesn’t mean that every relation will last. Everything that happens, happens for a reason and happens for good, this is the most important thing one should keep reminding himself, so no matter what happens, take it positively.

  89. I feel like complete garbage. I’ve had my heart broken by like 20 people because of my attachment issues. I never want to date many people or hook up with anyone unless I like them, and once I do, I get desperate and would love for them to want me, and that desperation drives them away. It’s like an endless cycle of misery and disappointment. And once again I’m in this position but this one was one of the worst. I dated a guy for about a month and ended up meeting his friend and I swear it was like love at first sight. I’ve never felt that way before and I didn’t know what to do about it. I dated that guy for 8 months constantly struggling with trying to get over his friend but I couldn’t. We also had so many problems in our relationship and I had to end it. I tried to pursue the friend, and he told me liked me but I was such a wreck from my last relationship that I scared him away and it was never the same. This happened last March. My crush lived close to my college but would never see me because he said he was too busy. We talked on and off for over a year and there wasn’t a second that I didn’t think about him because he is literally my clone and I KNOW that we would be a perfect match if he had given me a chance. There were a few times where he’d ask me to hangout but then back out and I would flip out because I was so tired of waiting. He would hit on girls online and that hurt too. Last summer he ended up in a relationship I had no clue about, and casually told me about it in October, thinking I wouldn’t care. It BROKE my heart that he forgot how much I liked him. He said he was sorry but continued the same behavior and I ended up holding myself back in hopes of him coming around and he never did for all of those months up until now. In April, I told him how I felt and he said he wasn’t looking for a relationship but if the right girl came around then sure and that was like taking a bullet. I was so hurt I cut him off again. My heart was still set on him though. I really felt like he was my perfect match but my attachment issues fucked a lot of things up and now he hates me. Yesterday I found out he has a girlfriend now and this is the last shot in the heart I’m going to take. I just feel like I lost myself. I am such a hopeless romantic that I’m desperate for it. I really feel like I lost a perfect match for me and I wasn’t even given a real chance. That’s all I wanted. I’m broken :'(

    • The last part sounds like my story.

  90. My ex broke up with me on the last day of school and i cried all day no joke. I have been crying for weeks now and im still not over it. I know when i look at him again it wont be the same. I feel like i did something wrong and i did. I didnt tell him everything bc i didnt have the courage to tell him i loved him and cared about him.

  91. Hi all, I had everything I ever wanted. A beautiful partner and 2 beautiful children, I took them for granted and saw them as hastle rather than the fantastic wonderful people they are. We have been together for 10 years and my partner has had enough, she thinks I am ashamed of her as I hardly ever take her out and haven’t married her. I treated her bad rather than like the love of my life she is, I am now broken and trying my best to win her back. She said she doesn’t believe me and this new me is fake. So a note to everyone who sees this, if you are luckily enoughed to be loved let them know you feel the same and how important they are.

  92. I have been single for about 2 years now and since then I have been feeling lost I feel like I’m losing my mind I have pretty much started pushing my closes friends away and I don’t know how to handle my situation it feels like my heart is breaking even more than it did before and I don;t know how to repair it I really don’t and it hurts me so much i thought I could overcome this I thought I was stronger than the pain that I have been feeling over the last couple of months and I don’t lnow what to do I need advice

    • I am sorry you have been struggling with this heartache. It is good that you are reaching out for help. Don’t walk through this alone. Chat with one of our HopeCoaches. It’s free and private. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  93. Me and this guy weren’t even together he just got out a relationship with someone and has rejected my feelings saying he feels no connection but he invited me over this weekend because he didn’t want to feel sad he says he didn’t know how much I liked him and now he refuses to process his emotions about anything and he just wants to focus on his business he’s building. We didn’t sleep together but we did drink too much and we did mess around I’m thinking I was accidentally used. I’m not mad just really hurt. He has accidently done the same thing to me that she had done to him. He said privately she was selfish but publicly a good person. How do I move on how do I heal everything hurts so much this is the second person I’ve really liked since my engagement ended over 2 years ago. Idk what to do I’d give anything not to feel this way and I think that’s how he feels about her

  94. Wow I’m going through the same thing guys last Wednesday the girl I loved like crazy told me lets be friends and now my heart literally hurt I feel like it cracked and she just keep telling me she don’t want a relationship and I feel like these days ahead gonna be harder than ever I feel like I can’t do it this hurts so bad I don’t even think I can go a week through this cause this is around the same time we started dating last year

  95. Hello Dawson …I am 36 years of age….my husband and I have been together for 8years….my husband was rebound relashionship….through out our journey…the bad out weight the good soooo much….we will break up 100*only to get back together…..I will constantly put him out if the house because he chose to hang in the streets…..this last go round my husband renounce his ways of living….and I was to caught up in my selfishness to see his change….because of my anxieties and jealousy….I started to become the abuser…by verbally beating him up…degrading his man hood..calling him out his name…I told him he would never be nothing…and that I want him out if my house……he did it in a humble way…..now as I lay back crying to God…its like God showing me …me….I was still bitter inside for how he treated over the years.. And we he is finally trying to change for the better I didn’t recieve it….I have learnd that it’s not my responsibility how he treats me ,but it isy responsibility how I treat him….and I feel so guilty because he was trying and I pushed him away…he stated he dont want to come back…and that he has to move on(OUCH)…so I am having a hard time accepting it…but as I submitted to God he brings forth peace…I have to train my mind to stay focus…yes it hurts but I try to stay busy..so I dnt get caught up in thoughts …and calling him….with that said I pray that God Give me one more chance with my husband 🙂

  96. I need some advice. So I was with my ex for almost 3 years and we split for a year. During that time he dated 5 other girls, one including my best friend. After, we worked things out and we tried dating a second time. It was difficult because I was away for school and he was back home. While I was in school, we talked about moving in together and even a possible engagement. When there was only 2 weeks left of school, he broke up with me to hook up with another girl. Once I made it home, it was too late because he moved out of state. We follow each other on social media, but he cut all ties. He will not talk to me. He is acting as if I do not exist. It’s been a total of 2 months now, and it is killing me. We share a bond because we almost had a child together and faced many other hardships, and emotionally I do not understand why he left without saying anything. I guess I am confused and heartbroken and in need of advice.

  97. 3 years and a kid later I was dumbed and left heart broken I’m trying to get over it but its hard we have a kid and he haven’t moved out yet it been about 2 months since he broke up with me and he say he just wanna be friends but I really don’t wanna be friends I just wanna move on and get over him because I really feel like he hurt me for reason and I need better…..

  98. My boyfriend broke up with me about three weeks ago. He wanted to be friends because he was falling for another girl. He never talks to me. It ruined my vacation. I’m so depressed. I never admitted it to him but I loved him.

  99. For the first time in my life I feel confused lost and so broken hearted I figure when he left that I would feel a whole lot better or some sense of relief in a way since we couldn’t sit in the same room for more then a minute…now that he is gone and even though we had many different opinions of diffrence situation that alway led to an argument no I don’t know what to do with all these diffrent emotions I know he wasn’t good for me but now since I listen to him every time he would make me feel guilty for having male freinds at one point now I don’t have any freinds and I just sit here alone with my 2 children and he just got up and walked away the thing I ask myself is how can I love someone so much that has made me change me into someone bitter and lonely and a lot of responsibility I just don’t know what to do with there feelings he say he want to me to move down south with him and things will get better but my common sense tells me otherwise I jaut wish I could let him go instead missing him the way I do and feel ok but my heart is shattered he left me feeling guilty of things that I didn’t even have the intentions of doing

  100. It sounds like he was emotionally abusive. Isolating you from your friendships and making you think you are the one with the problem are both signs of abuse. It is natural to grieve that he is gone even if he wasn’t good for you or your children. We are here to support you if you want to chat more about it. We are here 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  101. I never loved anyone in my entire life like I loved my wife. and I don’t know that I will ever will again love with that intensity. My being over protective and anger towards those who tried to take advantage of her was part of the problem along with me not communicating well I should have listened more . It is true when they say that you should never go to bed angry. I have made a lot of changes in my self as the result of hurting her. these changes came to late to save the relationship. This is regret and sadness that I cant seem to shake. I know I cant fix the past. just when I think that I am over her everything from the past comes rushing back . with the sadness and regret. it is like a rollercoster that you cant get off. I am getting professional help and it has made a difference. Thanks for listening :

  102. Love at some points really hurts. However, this is not to say for you to stop loving. I have been there done done… been a fool once been a fool twice but still here I am falling in love again … It’s just that we got to keep stronger =) I am here to listen…

  103. Hey I recently went through a break up we were together over a year I have two children not by him but they became his I put up with a lot from him cheating and lying I had forgivin him one to many times so one day I said I had to let it go I didn’t trust him I didn’t have a peace of mind so I caught more things that he was doing entertaining other women in his phone that’s when I decided I’m done.I knew I was going to go through the hurt in the pain but I had to let go it still hurts I know I’m stronger then I feel I found out he moved in with some chick we have been broken up for 2months he has married her that hurt very much he was still trying to conversate with me the whole time I’m not knowing he married her my children still speak of him I it wasn’t just me he hurt he hurt my children I’m just trying to stay strong b/c this truly hurt I know I deserve better Im just hurting.

  104. i loved someone more than anything, and i gave him chance to break my hurt again and again by trusting him blindly…. such a fool iam never trust anyone who broke your heart….. but me….. now i dont know what i should do again he is asking forgivenesss and to start new…..
    iam totally stuck in diz
    i hate my self why i came in this line….
    i havenot thing about my family i was just blind at his love

  105. I had been in relationship for 3 years. It was so much beautiful like a fairytale. We were so much in love with each other. Then we started arguing on marriage stuff. We were unable to find the way for suitable conditions. We both decided to be separated. Though it was so difficult decision but we both made it together. We get separated and moved far away each other by distance. We still kept talking for two months even after the separation and continue to struggle to find the way of possible conditions for marriage. One day she broke all contacts, deleting me from everywhere by saying she is going to look for another guy. I thought to give her the way and not to argue. I moved on too and got engaged to another girl. The day i got engaged she surprisingly texted me for congrats and said that other guy thing was just a story she made for me to move on. I felt so much bad like i have done something wrong. So, I decided to quit my engagement. It was so much mess created that it took me 7 months to quit as on both sides family and friends were involved and I didn’t want to hurt anyone. During these 7 months we were in contact each other and contniue to share our fairy tales and all good times. But all of sudden, it was such a coincidence that when the engagement was over she said that she had felt too much pain of this engagement thing and now decided to GIVE UP the idea to meet up again even by knowing that my engagement is at verge and going to be ending soon. She breakup all contacts again by saying she wants to be free and is not looking for any relationship and even me. She forced me to accept it as reality. I even cried to her not to do this. This thing shattered me from inside and since then my heart broken deep inside. I sent her alot of messages, emails our photos to flashback the momory and begged her to change her decision. she said she will not change her decision now. But I am still thinking about her every minute of the day and try to find the way to connect again. But as time passing, I have mix feeling now that did she do all this to get a new relationship or she is not feeling anything right now. Should i still be in hope to get her back? I am feeling so much pain everyday and i need a wayout.

  106. I dont wanna move on 🙁

  107. A guy I’ve been dating for 8 months suddenly went distant. A few weeks ago he was telling me how much he cared and missed me and now he wants to end it. I feel so numb and I don’t know how to pick myself up from it

  108. I was in a 3 year relationship, I thought it was going well, but I guess I failed to see the other side. I was dumped & I was told the reason was” he wanted to focus on himself” cool .. I find out 11 days later he has another girlfriend the same girl he told me not to worry about , I know it doesn’t matter now.. But I feel disrespected cause I wasn’t told the truth .. Now they are In love after two months and I’m sitting here heartbroken . I just hope things get better for me !

    • I feel you. we have the same story.. and that girl is my closefriend. How so disrespecful. And now. it has been 4 months ago since the breakup and they gonna marry each other by nextweek. so painful it is.

  109. Im going through the biggest heartbreak. Growing up, i never experienced love or attention from men–just the opposite- -rejection, abuse, and hatred. So for me, I have always craved for a father figure, or love from a man, and i believe that for this reason, the loss of my last relationship is killing me so much.
    I have been through hell and back with my 4 children. Not going into details, i longed so much to love, and to be loved. Just at a very critical time in my life, i found my best friend, who I felt was my soulmate–the man i could have ever wanted or wished for. We connected immediately when we met, and in such a short time, we grew more and more in love. It was a love where we sought for eachother’s good, and had such a deep effection and care–a pure love which i never knew even existed, having not experienced this kind of love before.
    In the past couple of days, life has become traumatizing again for me. So much has happened, that i felt myself spiraling out of control. Long story short, amidst of all that has been going on, i was hiding more about myself from my best friend–the man i love more than any other man besides God. He was the only man who i went above and beyond for to please him, and he for i. We made sacrifices for eachother, which only was possible to do with a heart so connected to the other and with that deep unconditional love.
    However, because of my failings, and falling short of accepting the love given to me etc., i lost this friendship. It still resonates in my ears when he kept telling me that there is nothing i can show him which will make him turn away from me and abandon me. Yet now, at a very critical time in my life, just when i need his love the most is when I lost him–amidst all the turmoil going on around me. I feel a part of my self was ripped from within me, as if almost stolen from me. God sure is teaching me much about detachment, love, trust, and abandonment to Him.
    This loss is hurting so deeply, i am unable to move on. I wake up in panick attacks, feel even more depressed than ever hoping all this was just a nightmare, and i will hear back from him soon. I tried restoring our relationship, but its just silence i receive. I couldnt imagine my life without him, yet now i have to live with the reality that perhaps God used him as an instrument to teach me what true unconditional love was about–seeking the good of the other. I understand this, and have learned more from this relationship than any other relationship from my past. However, this kills me. Everything around me reminds me of him, (especially because of my situation, i am living with his mother for a couple of days in the house he grew up in). I hear him call his mother, etc, yet he ignores me completely now. This is a very brutal learning experience. I pray i can move on, but a big part of me wants to hold onto him always, and never let go. The hardest part is that he is friends with most of my friends, though it helps he lives in a different state.
    For me now, with everything going on in my life, its not about taking it one day at a time anymore. Im happy if i can survive moment by moment now. He was my biggest support in all this turmoil im going through in my life, though I know I have our Lord holding me. It would be nice to have that one person I can go to, especially since i dont have family supporting me.
    I humbly ask for your prayers for my children and I, and for this person i have lost. I dont ask God to restore my relationship with him, but to help both of us move on, and to find peace within ourselves in our Lord. I assure all of you will be in my poor prayers!

  110. I broke up with my boyfriend about 5 days ago and I have a full-time job so it keeps me busy but every time I come back to the place we shared together and it’s so lonely. I can’t stand to be here for very long periods what’s worse is that he hasn’t totally moved out and he’s living in the basement and locked himself in there. He has stonewalled me and I’ve asked him questions about some suspicious things and he’s never answered them…. in the four years we’ve been together I’ve always used my denial tool which proved to be detrimental to me lingering feeling of deception and I couldn’t find peace in our relationship and now that he’s going….. I’m lost and I pray but it doesn’t help because maybe I’m self-centered and feeling sorry for myself I’m hoping that the day comes real soon where I can smile again and find new adventures and people too take up the time in my life that I need for I need to be social.
    What’s hardest of all is knowing that I may never understand what happened and I may never know whether he was fooling around .he’s got PTSD and he’s been in the service for a long time and it could be some side effects from that but all in all my gut feeling in my heart tells me that this needs to happen…. to end unfortunately I still can’t see a future for myself and I’m hoping for that real soon.

    • Idk if you’ll even see this, but this resonated with me. My boyfriend of four years just can’t stop being shady on social media. I broke up with him. This time it’s forreal and all I do is cry but I had to choose me and leave.

  111. Hello All.
    Today is not a good day for me. Briefly, my husband and I have been separated for 8 years because of his infidelity. He was also an addict. He is now in recovery and with in the last few months started texting me about reconcilliation. I was wary but willing to try. However, I didn’t think he was ready and of course he wasn’t. At this point I have decided separation is not enough. I need to move on and being legally married to him is only postponing the bigger pain of divorce. ( I confess I am a procrastinator)
    I read the comment about waiting for the phone call or text and having the pain eased…and I am so seeing myself there! It hurts really bad some days because I believe he never let go of his mistress, and other days I am fine because I know I tried to save the marriage and was willing to work through the results of his indiscretions. However, I see the toxicity of the relationship. Please wrestle with me in prayer for stability and peace as I move to a new chapter in my life.

  112. I’m a gay man, and at the age of 47 thought I’d met the one at last. Here we are 5 years later, and I’ve discovered the whole relationship was a lie. It was a long distance thing, and we only saw each other at weekends, and for holidays. Turns out he’d been advertising himself all over the Internet for all sorts of risky practices with other men, and had met them too, as he was kind enough to rate their performance on these seedy websites I found out about. I am devastated, am awaiting test results to see if he’s given me anything, and don’t feel I’ll trust anyone ever again. The times when I couldn’t get hold of him all make sense now.

  113. It hurts so much I dint even realize how much I was attached to him until the breakup now I feel like my world is crumbling. I live alone and the weekends out of work are the worst days I just do not have the strength to move on every minute i am tempted to text or call him but i know for my own sanity i need to get away from him for i discovered he has been cheating all this while he does not seem to mind the break up he seems just his normal self drinking with his friends and going to spend the nights at his new catch place. it hurts I have to watch this everyday, i cant move now because its quite expensive and i was saving for a project that i do not want to give up. I blame myself maybe i should have fought harder ignore the other women maybe i should have pretended not to see his behavior i don’t know how to pickup from here i feel wasted we were trying out for a kid what if am pregnant now I never wanted to become a single parent i am so scared of doing a pregnancy test. how do i get over this its like my heart is in a million pieces i am an introvert i do not talk out my issues its just sad.

  114. I’m dealing with a broken heart and severe case of betrayal… Each day gets harder because I’m constantly reminded of everything I sacrificed my pain is causing me to lose respect for myself as a person… I used social media to vent out my frustration and pain hoping the humiliation I would receive could help me over my desire to give up… Life is becoming more difficult to deal with as I grow older the pain has a greater impact on my overall way of thinking… Prayer helps there is no denying that however a good cry and a hug would feel a whole lot better…

  115. I am devastated I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years and today I found out that he got engaged to another woman 1 month ago. I don’t know how he had the time. My family adored him, they considered him family. I am shocked, hurt, and confused. My heart is broken in a million pieces.

  116. Hi everyone, my recent experience may not seem significant to you as this was just a high school relationship. I’m currently in the middle of year 12 and I was dating my last boyfriend for about six months. He and I had been friends since the start of high school and at the start of the year we just decided to give a relationship a shot. It was a mistake on my part as he told me that with his last girlfriend he just suddenly lost feelings for her. Even knowing this I just didn’t believe that it would happen to us because she had caused him so much misery through the relationship. I tried everything for him and sacrificed so much. I made him smile when he thought he couldn’t and he did all of those things for me too. Things were going so well for us and we were happy but then it just ended. One day he was saying how much he loved and cared for me and how he was so excited for our future and then literally the next day he ended it because he “lost feelings” for me. I live about two hours away from him and we had made the distance work for so long, he was about to get his P plates and he would be able to visit when ever. So naturally I am devastated. It happened about two days ago so this is still so fresh. I just feel really emotionally conflicted. Because of this distance I don’t really have any friends I can talk to. I’ve got my family but sometimes it’s just not the same. The added stress of school is also not really helping. This is the most crucial time of the year for me school wise and I just don’t know how to focus when everything makes me think back to him. I have moments where I’m fine and then I just suddenly feel so bad that I just break down.This has not been my first relationship but it was the best. The fact that I thought we were going so well just adds to the hurt. Anyway, I just don’t know how to distract myself or heal properly. I don’t really have anyone that I can talk to at any given time. I just don’t know how to cope very well. Some help or any kind of advice would be so nice. Sorry for such a long and detailed story.

  117. Back in December, I started a relationship with a guy that I’d met earlier in the year, I was head over heels in love with him, I fell in love with him in one night. We were up all night talking on the phone, until he asked me out, and I couldn’t say no to him, all it took was that one night for me to fall in love with him. He had told me he had just gotten out of a relationship DAYS before, which looking back was a big red flag. We dated around 6 months before one of our mutual friends came up to me and said that he and his ex-girlfriend had never broken up. It killed me, but I kept it to myself, because I didn’t want him to know I found out, I ignored him for a while, but he kept coming back, and I couldn’t stay mad at him- I was in love with him, after all. He broke up with the other a girl about a month after I found out, and for a while everything was perfect. Then I found out, there were 2 other girls in his life. I gave him so many chances until I finally couldn’t do it anymore. It was not a healthy situation for me to be in, everything about our relationship was killing me, I was stressed out, I couldn’t eat. We broke up about a month and a half ago, and he had a new girlfriend within 2 weeks, the part that sucks is the day he asked her out, he wanted to hang out with me, and I said no. I can’t help but think what would have happened if I hung out with him that day. I’m depressed, I cry all the time, I never sleep, because I dream about him. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over him.

  118. About a week ago, my first love left to go into the army, specifically basic training, a few states away. I’ve known about this since we started dating about a year ago, but I always clung to the idea that maybe we could do long distance, and although we didn’t really talk about it, I knew that he didn’t want to, as he’s done long distance before and it hasn’t worked out. I love and miss him so much, and while we didn’t end on a bad note, and he plans to write, it hurts so much. Ever since he left, I have no desire to do anything, and feel the need to cry when I do basic self grooming, my brain going “well you don’t really have anyone to do this for, so why do it?” It’s hard to do anything anymore without thinking about him, and how much it’s gonna suck going back to school without a boyfriend, and seeing all the other happy, affectionate couples. But, it’s a little easier everyday, especially when I see the letters in the mail. I hope everyone else going through this kind of heartbreak has love and support, I know my family and friends have helped a bunch. If anyone has any good stories, or any special tips that aren’t listed above, that would be amazing

  119. I was with my boyfriend for over 8-9 months and we feel in love almost the moment we met. We made plans, made promises and he told me I was the one. We weren’t able to spend as much time together, but he always promised he’d fight for me and be with me whatever the case. Just 3 weeks ago he said he couldn’t take not seeing me anymore and had to let me go. But still could foresee a future together. It put my through an emotional spin considering I am a busy person and dedicated any of my free time to him. A week or two after that it was my birthday and he asked me to take him back and said he’d try harder and reminded me how much he truly loved me. I give people chances and I was still vulnerable so I said ok. He didn’t try, he maybe tried less. I was in urgent care two days after we got back together, no call no texts, nothing. Eventually he calls me the next two days and tells me he still loves me but gives up, and won’t try anymore. Now, I am worse than I have been. Keep trying to understand why this happened. I cry at work, cry myself to sleep and feel so hurt and alone. This was the only man I truly loved and he loved me back. I hope this gets better because my heart is in pieces and I think he’s the only one that can mend it.

  120. I am so depressed. I haven’t
    loved anyone since Bari….I mean I’ve cared about people…I’ve fooled myself into
    thinking I was over that part of my life, but I wasn’t….until I met someone who
    scared me with all the love she showed me and poured onto me…I immediately put
    up a wall that was so high I couldn’t even see the top of it. I protected
    myself to the point of my demise. I used
    my hands to protect myself..You see I don’t deserve to be loved…I look in the
    mirror and what I see is a woman that people misunderstand. I’ve made HUGE mistakes in my life but the
    one thing that wasn’t and would never be was the birth of my children. Although
    my body and mind went thru a time that I completely lost myself and I ended or
    should I say killed my relationship with Bari.
    Yes I did the most damage here, but I do believe there were cracks in
    our relationship that came to surface after the birth of our children. But I digress, back to love…or the lack of
    love.
    So my journey continued with a person who loved me…albeit
    there was much to get used to. Our home was her house. One which others had shared in the same
    fashion as I. Her nephew lived there,
    due to her having to care for him and him being affected by things that were
    not divulged to me. He was never
    diagnosed but I see hints of Autism there…of course I am not a professional..I’m
    basing this on my sons who are and the similarities in their behavior.
    In either case there starts our demise…you see with all the
    shadows and all my hang ups… (walls as high as mountains) I sabotaged our
    relationship. She came to be a crucial
    part of my life with the inclusion of my children to our dynamic. The kids LOVED her and she seemed to love
    them in return. She played with them,
    listened to them, cooked with my daughter helped me to no end with them..Did I
    mention my boys are Autistic? It’s not every day you meet someone who accepts
    all of you…or at least they seem to.
    This person wanted her own child. I was done with child
    bearing. I tried in a moment of weakness
    to think that I could but quickly caught myself and explained myself to
    her. I did not wish to have anymore and
    would like to be enough for her. She would
    say yes but one of many recurring arguments was that she had no children.
    Long story short I told her I loved her but wasn’t in love
    with her…get it?? Smh.. Well that drove her nuts. Her insecurities went sky high and my life
    became a living hell with all her doubts.
    But the truth was…one that of course I did not realize at the time was
    that I was in love. Very much in
    love. She consumed me. Every inch of my being was her. But I fought it and denied it. I ruined YET another relationship.
    When Bari found out her words to me where “why don’t you let
    yourself be loved? “ wow…that sounds about right. Why don’t I? Why do I kill the best part of
    me? Why do I sabotage what could’ve been a lovely and beautiful love story?
    Long story short…I am in agony b/c I’ve ruined it. We had a great big fight where I went far and
    beyond and it’s over. I sit here in my despair
    and try as I might cannot for the life of me stop crying. I go to work, I cry, I go to bed I cry, I can’t
    eat and I can’t sleep. But it doesn’t matter for no matter how many tears I cry
    the ending is still the same. I am once again, alone, which in itself isn’t bad,
    but alone without the one I love. Heartbroken,
    crumbled and a total mess of a woman.
    There is no revelation at the end of this story…there’s no
    happy ending…I just have to live with my mistakes and move forward. It hurts…I
    think about the commercial where they say depression hurts….well I’ll be damned….it
    HURTS like hell. I’m praying that I can
    heal so I can breathe again….

  121. love just does not exist

  122. Wow, some very sad stories on here. It seems we all share one thing, excruciating pain. I just lost the woman I loved for the past seven years. I accept responsibility as I didn’t make the commitment to marriage that she was seeking. I told her that if that is what she wants, I am ready but she said it too late now. I keep looking at my phone for the text message that isn’t coming. We have broken up several times before and we always get back together but this is different. I have no doubt she has moved on and is most likely involved in another relationship. We always agreed that we would prioritize our kids first, our jobs second and then ourselves third. In retrospect, if you don’t put each other first, it makes it hard to be a unified team. I am searching the internet today trying to find ways to ease the pain. Part of me wants to feel it and another part of me wants to run and hide. I know I will survive because I am a survivor. I am going to take a month and just try to stay busy. I probably shouldn’t be doing it but I am writing her every day in a letter I will never send. Just hoping that by talking to her it will ease some of the pain. I miss her so much.
    I admire the strong ones on here and I will pray for those of you that are hurting. I’m turning this over to God as I know he will help me carry the load.

  123. I ‘m going thru a break up from someone I still love but she can’ t be faithful to me. I can’t take her cheating anymore or watching her day dream about other women. That hurts just as bad. I can’t turn my love switch off just cause she cheated. I still love her,but how do I move on?

  124. I had got engaged to a girl (politician )
    Then left her because she wanted some space because she wanted to work. I was going through a deep depression , I mean earlier we were so much in love and then when she became a politician she had changed.
    This is not the end this is where my story begins
    I was looking for an apartment to stay I met a couple , they offered me a place a handsome looking guy and a pretty looking woman of age 34 Initially I started staying alone.. But then I went through money problems and they offered me a deal that they will shift with me . “I said ok”
    Now I was trying to get over my girl by getting close to another girl who was a model so basically she was my bait . But this landlords wife held me and said “no it’s not right ” she started caring for me she started giving me love more than anyone could imagine . I was hesitant in the beginning because I thought she had a husband but later she explained to me that she is an intelligence agent and she has to stay with multiple identities and the guy is not her husband he is her friend , she told me she was an orphan and had a tough life . I fell in love with this girl totally but one day I see an old message (written before we had met ) to her so called husband (pls have sex with me ) I got a shock of my life and couldn’t believe the man she said is like her brother can be having a relationship like this with her. I got so freaked out that entire house was a mess for three months it was like living in hell ..
    Oh forgot to tell you the reason I believed he was not her husband was because she had a daughter who she said is also an orphan and she had adopted her. Now the old girl who turned politician calls me but honestly I don’t feel love and care for her .i don’t know … My heart is sick now chest pains.

  125. Yes very true they just break heart actually they are fools

  126. I lost the love of my life one year ago and still think of him ever day. We were the perfect couple. The cards he would give me were so full of love and happiness that I would cry when he gave them to me. We moved in together after a year and a half. Everything seemed fine. At Christmas he told me I was his lover, best friend and partner in life. 6 months later he said he was confused about his feelings for me. 3 months after that I moved out. I held it together while still living with him but looking for a place to live. On the day I moved out he wept. I said to him that I would be ok, just don’t throw me away like you would the garbage. He promised he wouldn’t. Never gave me a reason for our split. A couple months later he texted me happy birthday. I tried to text back thank you and he had blocked me from texting him! This has been a year now. Ive tried email just to see how he was doing only to find out from his sister in law that he had a new girlfriend. Happened not long after I moved out so apparently he was phoning someone behind my back. Makes no sense. We were good tobeach other and got along beautifully. Then BAM! He’s gone. I can’t get closure. I dont know how you can love and live with someone then act like they NEVER exsisted. I am still mourning this loss. I dont know how to make it go away.

  127. The girl i love says she doesn’t think it’s nescessary for us to talk anymore. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m broken. I’m lost and it kills me inside seeing her smile and laugh.

    • Let her go and give it time. There is something happened that she needs to deal with so give her space for now. You cannot force anybody stay with you. It is not fair to you and it is not fair to her. If you do love her, give her space, but keep your self fit emotionally and physically. There is always someone for somebody if you really want it.

  128. Never, have I broken a bone in my body until recently, and the man I love does not even acknowledge me anymore. The pain of this broken heart by far outweighs the pain of my fracture. You see, I refuse to stay immobile and I push myself to get better, but when he comes to mind I find myself at a standstill, weighed down and unable to move, standing and staring at nothing, standing and crying for nothing.

  129. I’m an 18 year old college student — who had no ambitions in life until today. Today I had my heart broken by Mr.Strong; my first true love and probably my last for a while. You see I met Mr.Strong when I was 17 through a friend. We engaged in an online relationship, if you could even call it that. I was going through a rough time, and he was there to give me that happiness I could no longer find in myself.
    Today we met in person; after lusting after each other for so long. I travelled by train; a two hour journey, just so he could look me in my eyes, and pretend he cared. At first I thought everything was okay, until he hugged me; by the look on his face I could tell he was repulsed by me. I knew… I’d be returning home with a broken heart. He didn’t have to say anything. Call it women’s intuition, that and after our awkward date he sent me a text message stating he couldn’t be with me. I held back my tears on that lonely train ride home; weak, and pathetic.
    When I finally got home, i put up a false pretence — to prevent my family from worrying about my well being. I went to my room and cried, I let out all the pain I used Mr.Strong to endure. After crying I came to realisation: I was never really happy, and I should have never used someone as my personal antibiotic to ease my pain. I realised to be truly happy I needed to find happiness in myself; I went to my room and wrote myself a bucket list. Of things I want to achieve, within the next two years of my life.
    Bucket List:
    Get a Job.
    Pass Maths.
    Pass ICT.
    Study Abroad.
    Save Someones Life.
    Love Myself.
    These are my goals, that i’m going to work my hardest to achieve. Today marks the first day of my road to happiness, starting today I’m going to take control of my life and hopefully find happiness later. I want to prove to myself, that I can succeed; and that I can be happy. It won’t be easy, but I’m not going to give up. I hope he finds happiness too, clearly we were not as compatible as I thought we were. But that’s okay. This blog really helped me, thank you so much.

  130. Just about a week ago i lost what i felt like was everything to me. I was on and off with this guy for 8 years since I was 13, he taught me most the stuff i know, guided me into becoming a better woman and was just always there and loved me. These past few months of 2016 before September things got a little too shakey and we were breaking up, i went to his apartment and seen another woman walking into his apartment door so i called him was about to go knock on his door and he came rushing downstairs trying to take me back to my car. I was devastated, cried my heart out, asked God why , why did I deserve this? I’ve never given up on anything I believed in and i just wanted to work things out with him and things only got worse he told me he never loved me, he was messing with multiple females & that he will never mess with me again… i cried non stop for days, didnt eat for weeks, barely went to work because i did not want anyone to see how devastated i was, i couldnt even look at myself i felt so disgusted that i cant even keep a man… but i know it wasnt my fault, im just hoping with following the steps on this blog can really help me i know it takes time but with everything me and him went theu for 8 years its not easily gone away..

  131. Ive loved one boy for 19 yrs. We were together for 3 years rite out of hi school. After our breakup i met an married. It lasted 13 yrs an i had to walk away it was a distructive marriage. I then after years of hope and praying got back with my childhood sweetheart. Hes my soulmate but hes going thru alot an battling a hurt back an drug abuse. He did things i would have never believed. He became abusive an more. I finally kicked him out for good. But im so unhappy. It makes me physically ill to even think of having to date again down the line or touching another guy. My childhood sweetheart loves me when its him but when the drugs an pain over take him hes someone i dont know. I have no family. He have me things this go around i didnt know where even out there or that he was even capable of. I slept sound cause he would wrap his arms an legs around me when we slept. I felt secure an safe. My heart is hemmoraging pain. I dunno what to do. Ive thrown myself into remodeling my home an dealing with my kids but even shear exhaustion has stopped working. Im fixing to move out of our small town cause i cant handle seeing him an seeing it doesnt bother him we arnt together. I dont understand how god could give me a love so deep and complete an for one man nearly 20yrs an it not work this time an he not love me back. I just dont know what to do anymore it hurts so bad. Im far from a weak person but this is something far worse than i have ever dealt with.

  132. I just had my heartbroken for the first time in my life. I always managed to runaway from love and succeeded up till 2 years 7 months ago. I fell deeply in love with a coworker. We had wonderful time mostly and few bad ones too of course. We always managed to agree and continued on till last few weeks. He started behaving extremely jealous and possessive to a point that he was angry. I couldn’t be away from my desk without thinking that I was out with someone from the 1st floor or other departments or that someone was waiting for me by the parking lot. I talked with him several times and he always apologized for the outbursts. I knew there was something wrong but he denied it. I still dont understand what changed or what happened that he started doubting me so bad. I gave myself to him totally body and soul, but I guess it was not enough. He told me last night that he had nothing else to say to me, that he was tired of looking the other way and hoped I find what I was looking for with” my new man”. I was speechless and still feel numbed all over. I know he is the love of my life and I will always love him, but I also know he lost trust on me for some unknown reason and there is no way to get it back.
    The worse part is that we work together and I will be seeing him everyday. How can I get over him when I have to talk with him everyday? I pray to God for another job or another opportunity somewhere else. I dont think I can continue on like this anymore….he’s my everything… I’m 50 yoa and barely found love and now I lost him….what was God thinking?

  133. We all have to go through the broken heart process because we have to love in order to move on in life. Love is free and you have to let it go because you cannot have a selfish love. Love is to give, to accept and to feel butterflies in your tummy every time you see the loved one pass by or even when the person is near. Love makes you grow and every time you love, you love harder and stronger than before. You have to feel and go through love so you can be human with a soul.
    But the emptiness once all is over…it’s much worse than the love stage….so is it really worth it to fall in love?
    I don’t want to fall in love again ever in my life and prefer to die…..might be less painful

  134. I am 19 years old. I met my boyfriend on the 11 April 2016, Sunday will be 5 months of us knowing each other. I am moving at the end of the month to continue with my studies. He has opened my eyes and my heart. I am moving out of his home town this coming week, all I can do is cry. It is 5:22am I have been crying since sometime at 4. We knew that j had to leave at the end of the month. I thought I mentally prepared my self well for the end , but I didn’t. We made an agreement that when I leave his home town we will be done with relationship. I am hurting cause I am leaving and because I have fallen so deeply in love with him. He is my first love.

  135. Hi Dawson, i have been in love with someone from the past 4 months. He helped me get a job at his company. I am married with kids and so is he. We both are seriously in love but every week we fight or rather i should say he misunderstands me and we get into serious argument. I know that his love for me is genuine as he has proved it many times and i am too crazy about him. But the fact is that we cannot get married as i do not want to break our families specially kids. However, he wants to marry me. We both are from different religion and apparently happy with our spouses but i dont know how we have been so spiritually connected that we just cant part away. His was of loving is a bit physical but respects my limitations. i know that this relationship has not future and each time i mention this to him he gets very angry and we fight. Several times we gave a break to our relationship but it never really happened except last week something happened and we have been arguing since a week now. This fight seems and end to our relationship and is getting difficult for both of us to part. I have been having health issues and cant focus on anything as he is on my mind 24/7. I cant even talk to anyone about this and which is why finding it difficult to manage. He is my boss so there is no way i stop interaction with him. Though he is very professional and never mixes work with personal life. The fact is that im in between two boats i dont wanna break my family and also cant part away from him. Pls help…….

    • Moon & Back, I know what you are going through and feel your confusion….and the intensity of the love you feel. I was on a similar situation not long ago. I couldn’t take it anymore and took the first step to separate from my husband thinking it was the best decision for my “dream life” with my true love. I do not regret leaving my husband, because sooner or later divorce was coming. My mistake was to believe all the dreams, promises, plans and hopes for the fairy tale. The small disagreements turned to big disagreements and misunderstandings into big fights. These would continue on for weeks maybe months and your mind gets preoccupied with him. You cannot focus on work, family or even a simple conversation with a friend. You lose track of time because your entire day is occupied with thoughts about him, the time you spent together, his smile, his eyes, his everything.
      And then reality hits you right on the face….when he goes into some jealousy outbursts for no reason then slight disagreements at work…..and well you get stuck between a relationship that has no healthy ending and your work and your own life.
      So, my advise is concentrate on you, on what you “need” and not what you “want” at this moment. It is heartbreaking and you are correct, you have no one – no one at all you can talk to…..except this blogs that help a bit but not enough.

  136. I met the woman of my dreams and the first four months were perfect – I mean perfect! One night I told a lie and it was only because I felt so much for her I didn’t want her getting a wrong perception about me. All I was doing was at a bar drinking a few beers and playing video poker. You see I thought she was perfect and my ex used to berate me for doing the same and it was a reacton. Well she new I was lying and it went downhill from there. Ever since that night, the next 16 months have been scarred with stupid arguments and she said she doesn’t trust me. I’ve done everything possible to make her see that she should and no reason to worry. Everything I did was with her in mind and putting her first – always. I got laid-off and had a super opportunity but I had to move. She said she was on-board with moving. But she was very anxious. To make a long story short, this is the only woman I got over-emotional with. The only one that I “let in.” And the flip-side was I didn’t know how to handle the bad times. I took everything too personally. I have my reasons but it is not an excuse. We had the stupidest fight ever that escalated and horrible things were said. Coincidentally, she was to move in 3-4 weeks. I will always regret not managing my emotions with her. She never understood how deeply she hurt me with words that may have seemed inconsequential to many, but that day, that minute, that time of my life it simply. I would do anything for her. She made me want to do better. She made me feel like a king on any given day. I will have to own my words and emotions. I needed help and it was too late. I lost my everything, my soulmate and my direction. I can’t imagine my life without her but I can’t make her believe me. The pain is unbearable. I want to die but I cannot. I want to live, with her, but she will not. This the mistake and regret that will forever haunt me. I hope nobody makes the mistakes I have. I cost me the woman I’ve been looking for for 45 years. Be well.

  137. I have been dating a guy with OCD PERSONALITY disorder for about 5 months. Just don’t know what to think of this! First overboard about loving me . Now says he never said it! Don’t understand at all except I am devastated

  138. Her smile. Her laugh. That’s what I miss the most. She was my soul mate, my everything. We were together for 5 years, she was my first love, no one else in the world can make me feel the way she did, its been 2 months and I still shatter on a daily basis. Feel like I die everyday, a little bit everyday. I feel so alone. I gave her my everything, but she felt taken for granted, she felt unloved. I miss her so much, every morning, afternoon, evening and night. We lived together. We shared our lives with one another. Now shes got her own life. I still love her but i don’t think she loves me anymore. I pretty sure she doesn’t. I’d do anything in the world to get her back. But i don’t think she wants me anymore..

  139. I have been single for 4 years and I still cant seam to get over the pain and I know its not from my previous relationship but I look at my high school crush and she has someone and it seams she is tormenting me

    • 10. PRACTICE RELEASING REGRETS.
      9. WORK ON FORGIVING YOURSELF.
      8. DON’T THINK ABOUT ANY TIME AS LOST.
      7. REMEMBER THE BAD AS WELL AS THE GOOD.
      6. RECONNECT WITH WHO YOU ARE OUTSIDE A RELATIONSHIP.
      5. CREATE SEPARATION.
      4. LET YOURSELF FEEL.
      3. REMEMBER THE BENEFITS OF MOVING ON.
      2. RECOGNIZE AND REPLACE FEARFUL THOUGHTS.
      1. EMBRACE IMPERMANENCE.
      0.Time To Take Off To The Future

  140. wow, i’m perplexed to see i’m not alone in this period of emotional catalysis. my girlfriend broke up with me just 2 days ago and at the moment i’m having alternating episodes of feeling. i knew from the start of the moment she made the decision that i had to protect my heart somehow. first thing i did was delete all my pictures of,with and without her. then i got rid of everything to would remind me of her(gifts, necklace and all). it was a 5 year relationship. it seems the ultimate reason for the breakup was that her parents wouldn’t let her have anything serious to do with a foreigner. she’s white and i’m african. but in our last 3 months, there was an issue of some distance which i understand, but i was going through a rough patch and given it wasn’t exactly a free relationship, i couldn’t meet her whenever i wanted like visiting and all that as she also was working. to be honest, i’m devastated, but after reading all articles available about heartbreaks, i’ve come to realize, for those of us that are strong enough to love, this is kind of an inevitable situation in our lives. i never felt something like this but i know it will pass. if you are going through a heart break, it does not help to keep holding on to what does not want to be held on to. you are only killing yourself that way,opening a healing wound. put all that effort you put in thinking about the ex into recovering. it’s time to start loving yourself, life is all about phases and no one phase lasts forever. just like a book, we’ll never know what’son the next page if we don’t turn the current one. there’s so much i could say but until you find the true one, you got to try to move on whenever you find yourself in a situation like this. i’m not over it yet, but i believe im in the process.

  141. I hurt someone I deeply love last Friday and I’ve been feeling horrible myself. Weve been together for 10 months, my man is full of secret since we met, every time I discovered I convinced myself that I understand him and stand by him, but now more secrets to reveal and he is traveling soon where his another world I’m not in. When I found out I felt betrayed by him, I couldn’t hold my heart back like I normally can do, instead caught his lie out loud. Because it is true he went so mad and scary, we haven’t communicated since then.

  142. Recently I found out my fiancee is a fraud and has been lying to me from the beginning. I feel like the best of me has died.
    To me, honesty and loyalty are paramount in a relationship. If I don’t have this I have nothing.
    My heart and soul have been ripped out of my chest.
    She has no idea, I am officially calling off our wedding, our entire friendship and relationship, this weekend. We have been engaged for almost a year and a half. She lied, she cheated, and she used me. I am devastated because I believed in her. I have not been unfaithful or dishonest with her. I strongly believe in monogamy.
    I have never been a quitter so suicide is never an option although the fleeting thought of death has crossed my mind; I cannot go out as a coward and I would never give her the satisfaction. As long as I am alive she will have to live with what she has done, and ultimàtely suffer the consequences of her actions. Karma is an untamed bitch. What you do to others, will always come back to you ten fold. I take refuge and comfort in this, and above all, in God and in prayer! I truly adore her and there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her… Until now. Once the glass has shattered into a million pieces you can not put it back together. You simply have to start out with a fresh new glass.
    I have been literally locked away in my home for three weeks grieving, suffering privately, and praying. I think the best thing I can do is move on and jump back up on the horse asap. But in my heart, I know I probably won’t, because it will be hard for me, to ever trust again.
    When you are young you have your whole life a head of you, but in my case, life is behind me swiftly slipping away. Something in me has died and it’s taken the best of me with it. Though overwhelmed with pain and grief, life must go on.
    And although I feel this horrible pain, I know soon, I will grow numb; And become as a silouhette and shadow on the walls; An entity existing in a world without, rhyme, reason or purpose. And soon, all this will behind me too.
    Am confused, angry, and hurt. Not to mention, stung by the humiliation I will have to face, when my family and friends find out. I haven’t spoken to her in over à week for fear that I may say or do something stupid in anger. But the time has come and tomorrow will be a new day for the both of us. My world is about to come crashing down at my feet and there will be no pieces left to salvage and rebuild. I came into
    this world alone, I leave alone.

    • Mikey, That was incredibly well written. I am feeling the same way. I have been off the market for 10 years after getting hurt. The, last October, a guy got hired as my office mate and we sort of began something as he was going through a divorce. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I totally fell in love with him. He is a fearless, intelligent, sexy man and was kind to me. He made it clear that we couldn’t be a couple, and I agreed to be his “special’ friend. Time has gone by, he left the company and works somewhere else. We now see each other maybe, once a month, few phone calls and now the texting has slowed to a trickle. I can’t say I have caught him in many lies, but, he just doesn’t tell the truth. I just found out he is getting ready to move out of state and I am overwhelmed with grief. He has just turned me off like a switch and I need his strength, but I know that no amount of begging or rational discussion is going to change that. I am in my mid 50s and the clock is winding down on this gay man. I have no support at all and must deal with this myself. I am so sad all the time. I hate working in the same office that we shared. The happiness and fun we had in here serve as painful reminders every time I enter.
      Like other people have say, his infrequent texts trigger dopamine in my brain and I feel relief for a few moments until I realize they are just super brief generic texts that offer NO insight into what he is doing, who he is seeing, what he plans on doing.
      He will be leaving at the beginning of October, so, in 3 weeks, I will make him meet with me and tell him I cannot be his “boy”. I will block him, delete his texts and pictures as these will only hurt me in the long run.
      I can’t express to anyone, except you people, how defeated, ANGRY, used, hurt and lonely I am. I, too, have given thought to ending this sad life, but, I will try to be optimistic even though I KNOW he will forget about me completely a week after he moves.
      I thought about doing something really awful that would totally mess up his life and could easily do it, but, what’s the point? Besides, he would kill me . Seriously.

  143. My fiancé and I have been together for years. Just recently I found out that he has been cheating on me with my best friends baby mama. It’s harder then ever right now. I gave up everything just to come here. If everything happens for a reason, this better be a good one.

  144. I wasn’t in a long term relationship like most of you, but I started dating a guy and our future seemed very promising. He would talk about future plans for us from family to traveling, and I foolishly got my hopes up. We were compatible and I was everything he needed (his words) I really liked him, felt the same way and saw a future with him. After about two months of dating, my mother felt (intuition) that I should discuss what our status was (BF/GF?). I told my mom that I didn’t feel it was necessary at the time, but she planted the seed in my mind and I went ahead and brought up “status” in a way that was not too pushy. I told the guy that other men were interested in taking me out (the truth), but I left them in limbo because I was unsure of our status. The guy told me it was ok for me to date others if I wanted to and that “what will be, will be”. Though I originally did not feel the need to discuss status so soon, his response was shocking and unpleasant to me. I thought he really like me as much as I like him. Had he asked me that same question, I would have told him that I would have a problem with him dating other women. Needless to say, everything went downhill from there. He was out of the country when we had that discussion and when he came back he didn’t want to see me, and hasn’t seen me since. I was so excited about him coming back so that I could see him, so you could only image how hurt I was when he declined my company. After pulling teeth for conversation and one disastrous phone call, he told me that he realized how much he missed his ex after dealing with me. Later the story turned into ” It’s not my ex, you were just moving too fast for me.” Idk which is the truth (if either of them are) and I’ve stopped trying to figure it out. My gut tells me I was a rebound, which we specifically talked about at the start of our dating. He told me that I was not a rebound because he “doesn’t do the rebound thing”. He used me to try and get over his ex, but it didn’t work, so he went back to her. Kinda sounds like he just doesn’t want to be alone which is dangerous. I got hurt because he tried to make me something I will never be, his ex. This hurts so bad because the guy before him did the same thing to me…. I am have a great relationship with God, so I am doing my best to lean on him at this time. This all happened with the current guy over a 5 month period, but if hurts like it was 5 years. Our last exchange was last night, and I gave him a piece of my mind (In a respectable way). I understand he was going through something, but he wasted my time and reopened a wound I had healed. I am just trying to learn from this situation.

  145. It’s only been 5 days and we have never really boke up for a length of time. I just need a supportive team to help me through my choice to break up. He really hurt me and I dont understand why men choose to lie and not tell you things that are important. I just SMH it just doesn’t make any sense… Ugh. I am hurt. I feel like a problem and a inconvenience.

  146. i need to learn how to let go of this things i’ve found out…my boyfriend and i had a break up for about 2-3 months during that time he slept with a girl, i had a feeling something happened but he would constantly look at me in the eyes and tel me no nothing ever happened and so did his friends while they all knew the truth but were taking me for a fool!. ever since i found out i constantly think about it on a daily basis and im tired of it. i need to let it go but can’t seem to. he was the first guy i ever did anything with which is why its so difficult to let go of that situation. any recommendations please?

  147. Im currently 20 years old. I have spent the last four years of my life with a boy who I met when I was 16. We lived together for two years and have broken up before but never like this. I realized for months i have lost the fuzzy feeling and i was very unhappy. So i decided to move back in with my mother to take some time apart to better our relationship. I recently went home for his birthday and i found another girl he was texting. I left to help us and hopefully us being apart for a little bit would mend the fighting. I spent the weekend and we where the happiest we have ever been, but when i left monday he told me he wasn’t in love with me. But he still loved me. I was the first girl he was ever with. But i fell in love with him all over again only to find out he doesn’t feel the same way anymore. And i am scared. He wants to still stay in touch and says he isn’t going to be looking for another girl he just wants us to find ourselves again and figure out what he wants. And that later in life if we find out who we are we might fall back in love. And i am hurting I don’t know how to be alone with out him. I told him everything he was my best friend. And his friends are my friends so how can i see him in public and not want to feel his touch or his arm around me. I am at a loss and no body seems to be giving me answers to make me feel better. So i found this blog hoping it will help me.

  148. Thanks for sharing these great ideas!

  149. I have been broken with my twenty year relationship for a year now we email. Sometimes he calms from his job I had rebounds and many dates. I told him I had telations with someone else totally not worth it btw. He had t contacted me since. I never stopped living him. But I had rid bits. Now feeling it all over again. I thought I loved so done else I hooked up with drunk four times. He let me down too. Many dates. On fu e online sites. I CAN’t get o we him!!!!

  150. I have been married for 15 years. He let me know that he doesn’t care about my feelings at all a bit ago. I spent 43% of my life with him and to the benefit of him. I never saw this coming. I was able to raise my two kids this entire time so now I have nothing but two perfect kids. As far as the pain of my broken heart, it’s unreal. It feels like I have no control of my emotions whatsoever. Want to stop crying so you can drive? Not happening. Want to think of anything else besides what on earth you did to deserve this? Nope, never that. Want to talk to someone so maybe you can get some care or support? Well, what if he is right and you are not worthy of care or support. This is where I am. I hope I get better soon but there is a part of me that never wants to be completely healed. Who will I be if I am no longer in love with him? What on earth will I do with all the time I once spent thinking about him and nice things to do for him. I know most would say I should spend that time on myself but to most I say I never wanted that. I was truly doing what I wanted to do these last 15 years plus. I’ll sign divorce papers soon. Wish me luck.

    • you are going to be OK. Promise. someday you’ll realize you are better than all that. I promise. Show your kids how to heal.

  151. Hi, I’m going through a heartbreak right now and it’s really excruciating. Haven’t been able to sleep or eat the past few days.. I know time will heal everything and I just can’t wait for the time to fly by to make it better..
    He broke up with me through a lonb test message saying that he doesn’t have the courage to tell me in person.. at the point I lost it and kept bombarding his phone acting like a crazy woman.. regreted it totally.. and ended up for him to block my calls amd messages..
    I know the breakup is for the best for both of us it’s just that I just couldn’t come to terms of it yet.. my heart and chest is really physically hurting. Kept asking myself why.. just 3days ago he told me he loved me so much.. The nexy day broke up with me through a lengthy text message.. and he told me he loved another.. maybe he just wants me to move on for good because circumstances does not allow us to be together.
    I have since deleted his number and messages.. That helps in a way not for me to do stupid embarrassing things..
    I just hope time passes by soon, taking away all the pain and hurt that I am going through right now.
    Deep down I am praying so hard for him to come back but reality is he won’t. It hurts..
    Tomorrow I’ll be removing all our momentos together.. hope I can move on fast..

  152. I thought I was a reasonably, intelligent person. Educated, well liked. I didn’t date for 2 years then let a man into my life. 7 months later I find out he was living with a woman. Our entire relationship was a lie. I’m so embarrassed at myself for being so stupid. He was a professional, had a non profit org against bullying. How ironic….I can’t get closure from him because he will only lie and manuliplate the situation.

    • My husband runs a non profit. Cheated with a married woman who does too. They both get recognized for being such wonderful people…helping others reclaim their lives from drugs. No-one lies like the self-righteous. Decades of my life…kids…and he’s 11 years older than me. I will say he was a very good liar, as only an (ex)addict could be.

  153. Man the pain is real! I have been with my girl for 7 years now and we have hit a really hard spot in the relationship. I haven’t been the best boyfriend emotionally. I never cheated on her in the 7 years. I have not shown her as much affection as she would have wanted. Now I just recently found out she is seeing a guy that she says makes her laugh and express himself to her. In her eyes they are just friends. She says she want to work out the relationship with us but continues to hangout with this so called friend of hers. Not sure what to do about this? I know I haven’t been emotionally there for her, but is trying to now, I offered to do more things with her and open up more but she doesn’t want to go anywhere with me I asked her lets do something today she says she is tired or comes up with other excuses. We got into an argument over this and I told her to be with him and left her house. Now she won’t return my text or e-mail it’s only been a few days but my heart is melting away. I’m to the point that I’m just going to give up and let it go. Is it too soon to let it go? She is not responding at all.

  154. I met a woman online who perused me very aggressively. We dated for about 6 months and then she started bombarding me about getting married and not moving fast enough. She’s a great person to be around, she has two great kids and I enjoyed every minute I spent with her. I was never against getting married, I just thought that we needed more time to explore each other and let our relationship progress. Well after a final weekend at her place, she changed and started being critical of everything I did or said. We then got into a heated conversation because she felt that our relationship wasn’t moving fast enough and she wanted to start dating again. Well we stopped talking completely for two days and when I contacted her again she advised me that she was in a relationship already. As you can imagine, I was devastated and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I can’t imagine anyone expects someone to move on so fast and to say that they are really interested in someone after only 2 days. After I calmed down, it was obvious to me that she was possibly seeing this person before we actually stopped talking. Over the past few weeks I’ve been angry, confused, unable to sleep, missed a ton of work and not sure how to move forward. Of all the woman I’ve ever dated, I’ve never had these type of feelings pouring out of me when the answer is right in front of me. I want to move on so bad because I know I deserve more, but my heart keeps taking me back to the good times I had with this woman. I recently found out that she has been spending weekends and week nights with her new boyfriend so that really devastated me more. I’m so ready to move on with my life, but I’m not sure how long getting over this will take. It has been a very difficult few weeks and I’m so over it already. If anyone has any remedies to help I’d love to hear them.

    • I am sorry to hear this Trey. I have a very similar situation, but slightly different. The girl I have been seeing for 13 months wants to call it quits because I wont have an IVF baby with her “we are in our 40’s”. Let me explain, she is still married but separated and her ex is in jail for domestic violence and drugs charges, I keep asking her when she will divorce her husband and she always replies with “when the time is right” They were separated for two years before we met. She has a 6 yo daughter than I adore, and she adores me, and we all get along so well, but she never commits to me. She wont talk about living together or sharing our life together, often doesn’t invite me to events or parties she is attending, and only seems to hang with me when she wants something or for a nice dinner etc. I do really like her but I told her I need much more of a commitment from her before we talk about having a child, it is then she got really angry, went distant, and then told me it is best we don’t see each other anymore. I am completely devastated as I really pictured a future for us, but I cant help but feel that maybe I was just a money bank to her to pay for things and pay for IVF and nothing more, so when she didn’t get her way, she left. I still miss her every day and it is SO hard to move on, even though I know now that it appears I was being used and I still think she will get back with her crazy ex when he gets out of prison, why else wouldn’t you want to move on with a guy that treats you like a princess and wants nothing more to be in a loving relationship with you? I am heart broken.

  155. I’m 61 woman met him 8 yrs for fun but became good friends, stupidly fell in love gave him my all, only met up a few times as distance was an issue,he moved to cayman island for work so only saw him when he visited UK but spoke everyday anyway 10 months ago he met someone else ( i found out myself )he pused me away with a few messages that he would be in touch, I’m heartbroken but think I ruined the friendship by constant messages asking why he couldn’t of been honest in the first place said he always wanted to be friends but now ignores anything I send.
    I was wrong yes and I’ve said goodbye to him but I’m hurting so much. ..I trusted hin.

  156. Unspoken prayer requests. Not going into any details. Been here in Houston for almost two years. (as of December) At a point where I don’t give a rip, got played too many times.

  157. well not having your heart broken must be the only good point of being entirely alone all your life 🙁

  158. I am sorry to hear everyone’s stories. I have a very similar situation. The girl I have been seeing for 13 months wants to call it quits because I wont have an IVF baby with her “we are in our 40’s”. Let me explain, she is still married but separated and her ex is in jail for domestic violence and drugs charges. I keep asking her when she will divorce her husband and she always replies with “when the time is right” They were separated for two years before we met. She has a 6 y/o daughter than I adore, and she adores me, and we all get along so well, but my partner never fully commits to me, always seems to keep me at arms length. She wont talk about living together or sharing our life together, often doesn’t invite me to events or parties she is attending, and only seems to hang with me when she wants something or for a nice dinner etc “as I am very financially independent and have done well in my life” I do really like her but I told her I need much more of a commitment from her before we talk about having a child, she then got really angry, went distant, and then told me it is best we don’t see each other anymore. I am completely devastated as I really pictured a future for us, but I cant help but feel that maybe I was just a money bank to her, to pay for things and pay for IVF and nothing more, so when she didn’t get her way, she left. I still miss her every day and it is SO hard to move on, even though I know now that it appears I was being used, and I still think she will get back with her crazy ex when he gets out of prison, why else wouldn’t you want to move on with a guy that treats you like a princess and wants nothing more than to be in a loving relationship with you? I am heart broken, feel used, feel like there is nobody else out there for me 🙁

  159. As I am reading these posts I’m in awe. Thought this pain was exclusive to me. Thought this recent break up and heart ache was just my own burden to carry. Never have hurt so much and tried to break up multiple times so I would not end here. I thank God everyday for the strength. But most days I feel alone. So thanks to all for sharing because it has helped me feel that I’m only a human being with feelings

  160. I love this…totally…thanks for sharing ( I agree with the needing the occassional ‘fix’…a text … until we can finally walk away and never remember to look back.

  161. I had a partner for almost 2 years, April 2015 and now it is November 2016 but for quite a while before that date we really were quite addicted to each other. It all started in high school he caught me at a very weak point in my life and I had a boyfriend who adored me but he hurt me really bad and when my recent partner came into the picture I seem to instantly fall for him, I couldn’t understand as I have never had feelings for two people at once, each day I found myself saying to myself it’s just a ‘phase’ months went by and I fell out of love with my previous boyfriend and was completely falling head over heels for this guy. One problem my mum didn’t approve of him one bit and looking back now I know why, my point is it honestly was forbidden love, but I had to be with him I was absolutely so certain of it, he had me wrapped around his finger I would do absolutely anything for him! A year later i managed to finally get away from my boyfriend as mum wouldn’t let me break up with him, he said nasty things to me for no reason he didn’t have any idea how I felt for this other person but I didn’t want to hurt him by being with someone I didn’t love anymore but I couldn’t escape so I saw my opportunity and it worked. After a month or two my best friend suggested I date him in secret so I did and that lasted two months before I decided to move out of home (16 years old I was) due to home issues and I was always under constant stress about my mother finding out and what she would do to me! I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety because I moved out to live with him and his family, and one month later things got really intense and he was talking to other girls and convinced me to leave school (probably so he could get away with it) I asked him for a break just to see what he would say as I stood in front of him in tears and he said okay we are breaking up and walked out the door, I couldn’t believe it he wanted to break up I was absolutely devastated.. (heartbreak 1) so I left and went on the train and sat somewhere by the water for the whole day hoping he would come home and see me gone and worry but even after all that he still wasn’t home.. eventually I got my own room in the house it didn’t have a wall though as it was a dining room, but I made do, (we broke up in august by the way) we eventually started talking again and we started acting like nothing happened we were doing everything like a couple except in public he was ashamed to be with me, wouldn’t touch me or anything he would just act like friends on a very good day, wasn’t like that at home I can assure you, this went on for months and then we stopped talking as he was going out all day and all night barely coming home and was off with a girl he had had a huge history with and I wasn’t okay with it at all and I would express my feelings but he is the type of person who can do what he wants but I can’t.. so I started seeing my childhood sweetheart just hanging out as friends and I stayed at his house one night and we started getting intimate and I started something I shouldn’t and stopped and said I couldn’t do it as I was in love with someone else who claims to love me but doesn’t but it still doesn’t make it okay with my heart, I vowed to never rebound again! Anyway he went away with army for 5 weeks and when he was saying bye he was really uninterested in me so I promised myself I would use this time to heal and get over him, two days later I received a phone call and he was in tears pouring his heart out to me saying he was sorry and he loved me and he wasn’t having a good time and stupid me I fell for it, so those five weeks I sent letters and he sent some back whenever he could and would call when he was allowed five minutes for calls, he was always on my mind and I stared working on myself I had my hair done and extensions put in and made an effort to look really nice for when he officially became a soldier and he sent me a bear and I absolutely just lost it I was crying so much as I missed him dearly, the day couldn’t come any quicker (December 10th I think) we drove 6 hours down to see him and I’ll never forget when I first saw him I was so nervous and had raging butterflies because I really thought we were ready to pick up where we left off and everything would be okay, he seemed to adore me for about a day or two which he went home and started talking to his best mate who doesn’t like me and has the worst influence on him but honestly I can’t do anything and he went cold, he hurt me he wanted nothing to do with me again, I hated myself for letting me fall for his lies and games again. He went back to school while I was at home with no friends or family (he completely isolated me from everyone, control freak right?) anyways for 7 months we were intimate saying we loved each other and looked like we were head over heels in love well I was anyway, but he still was ashamed of me in public I would always ask for photos together or to actually be in a relationship but his excuse was always I’m not ready which I couldn’t understand as it was only a title that would change but little did I know he was playing me with this girl he has had history with I didn’t find out till June 2016, but at the time I had always asked him about it as I had my suspicions and I always accused him of lying to me and seeing someone else and only using me for sexual actions he would always deny it of course. We got to back together in February he finally asked me out at a theme park and I was thrilled but little did I know he was still talking to this girl.. we lasted till April 2016 and we were celebrating our “one year” which on numerous occasions I said we can’t celebrate something that isn’t true but he didn’t listen which We broke up a little while after that for a bit but were about to get back together (June) I was hanging out with my friend and she told me he had been kissing this girl and then sexually harrassed another girl and I called him to ask and he said as if you would believe someone else and not me? And made out that I was some idiot. So I thought I would ask the girls myself and they both confirmed it for me, I called him back and asked him why he lied to me once again then he completely shut off and stared abusing me and making out that he had every right as we weren’t together officially which really isn’t fair on me because we celebrated our one year which turns out you have to be together for that and he all of a sudden changed his mind and said oh no it’s nothing anymore etc I swore I’d never forgive him (heartbreak 2) he wasn’t doing anything to fix it which was making me so angry and hurt so I ended up yelling at him at 3 in the morning on the phone because he wasn’t fixing it and that seemed to knock some sense into him and he rode over to mine and we were out till 6 in the morning we went to maccas at 5 and got food then the next time he brought to my house a beautiful bunch of flowers how could I say no, I was mad for a long time but I don’t hold grudges I said I could only be with him again if he completely cut this girl off and he agreed as he said he regrets his actions and never wants anything to do with her again.. so I thought (you will find that out soon) anyway I got back with him after a long time and then we broke up as he said he was going out to dinner with two girls which he would absolutely not be okay if I went out to dinner with two guys, I said please don’t go politely and he couldn’t do that so I left it to him me or them? Needless to say he chose them and that night he stayed at one of the girls house and he spent all night with her and was kissing her and who knows what else.. I found out a week later by that girl and he didn’t care once again that he is continually leading me on and on.. I wasn’t okay for a while but he got me flowers and soon things were okay and the same conditions is he isn’t to have anything to do with her anymore once again agreed happily. But we weren’t officially together as I said I needed time to think but we still continued to do everything the same as always which leads me to la
    st night (20th November) I found out he has been talking to the first girl for ages behind my back and wouldn’t show me the messages and his best mate has been working over time to set them up I was absolutely gutted I just sat there with tears rolling down my face I kept asking why he was so obsessed with this girl when she looks like a man? (Heartbreak 3) His year 12 formal was tonight (21st) I was meant to be his date I had spent over $600 in preparation for it, and I canceled my appointments for my hair and makeup as he told me I was no longer invited and he was taking his best mate.. which I was devastated about as I had spent so much money.. money I didn’t have to spare! So I continued with my day feeling miserable and with no appetite at all, eventually I called him to find out what exactly is happening, he was rude as always and then said he expected me to still have my hair and makeup done when I was told I wasn’t coming because he says it’s effort with me trying to still go but why would I waste another $400? Anyway it was 3:00 and he said ok you can come to the formal if you have your hair and makeup done which I am really good at makeup so I can do it myself which I explained but no that wasn’t good enough so I had 2 hours to get to the shops walking and via bus and I had to call and ask for any appointments at some places luckily there was so he said I could come so I went to the place and I was on the phone to him and he started getting really dodgy and kept saying I don’t know if I want you there and making me really upset and in the end I just broke down in tears and said I’m having it done and hung up and he called me and said that I could come so I hung up and went to have my makeup done and he called me while having it done which I didn’t know as I couldn’t see my phone and he said that his best mate is coming while I was having it done, so when I finally saw it all I was so angry and upset as it cost me $100 for my makeup, and I started walking to my hair place and I kept trying to call him and he kept rejecting it and wouldn’t answer and just sending stupid messages and I started getting really flustered as I had only 20 mins to get my hair done which was stressing me out and I wasn’t going to go pay and have it done if I wasn’t going anyway I bursted into tears and I tried not too and my makeup honestly went everywhere I had never seen makeup run so much, and it was beyond fixable to I ran to the bathrooms and tried to stop crying as more tears were flooding out and I messaged him and told him he wasted my time and money and my makeup and I wa starting to fix it but it was all everywhere and I absolutely just lost it and started screaming as he told me I need to go back and get it fixed and that I could come. I couldn’t believe how much he has fucked with my feelings and i was just losing it and I called my mum to get me which she did and take me home meanwhile he was messaging me saying I could have fixed it when I couldn’t and the only thing I wanted done was my hair but he made me miss that too, so I didn’t end up going after all that and he gets to the venue and says I really wish you were here and things like he is sad and it’s all my fault I didn’t come.. I am not having it anymore so he went off tonight and was with this girl the whole night and it was all posted clearly so I would see and he hasn’t replied to me, but I have to say he is the biggest sleaze I have ever met and I wish I hadn’t and he is the cruelest person I have ever met and only cares about himself, he also abused me physically and mentally, I know he isn’t for me or worth my time or pain and certainly not money, but I’m in pain here and a lot because this person was my world despite how horrible he may be and maybe because I saw some good in him a long time ago, I really hope god helps me get through this quickly and help me make peace within myself and eventually be okay, and it really helped me writing this out for people to read, please leave comments I’d love to hear from you!

  162. 4 months ago the person i loved more than anything in the world broke up with me. The hardest part is we didnt fall out of love with each other but through distance. I was moving away for Uni and he said we would try and make things work, i thought after our two year relationship that we could but he didnt even try. I have felt anger, lost, alone, sad, my heart has felt physically broken and i have curled into a ball more times than id wish upon anyone. See its not been easy for me, when i was 13 i was raped, two years of PTSD and blankness followed and when i became better i got into a relationship with someone and he hit me, then i was cheated on by the following three guys to then eventually find the person of my dreams. See the heartbreak hurts because he gave me hope and he gave me everything i thought i would never have. That man healed me and i fell head over heels in love with him. I have now come to a point of still loving him but also forgiving him. He’s only 19 like me and he has a whole life ahead. I was ready for something more serious but maybe he wasnt, maybe it didnt mean as much. The only thing i regret was losing my independence and becoming dependent on someone else, although this and love is a wonderful thing i wonder if it has now destroyed my future relationships and who i am as a person. I never took my past troubles into relationships even after all ive been through but i wonder now if i will. I dont really know why im writing this on here but it was a good release and i hope one day i will heal again and be able to fall in love again.

  163. It’s been almost 24 hours since I looked for an email from the guy who broke my heart. I know it’s the healthiest thing I can do for myself….but it’s hard. I read in a book…”does it hurt when you do that?” if the answer is “yes” the author says…” then don’t do that.” I’m trying not to do that. Does anyone have some ideas on how I can keep strong?

    • My boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago after 2 years of being off and on. He instantly moved on with a new girl even though he denies they are dating (he’s lying). He calls and texts me all the time so I literally sit by the phone waiting to see a message. I totally understand your pain! Stay strong and stay busy. I work on puzzles. The time flies by and I get so relaxed doing them it’s a great stress reliever. Find a hobby or even cleaning will help keep your mind off him. I’m starting a detox from him today and vowed not to answer a text again for at least a week. So I’m with you in spirit!

  164. worst thing for me is holding out hope like clutching at straws. A friend for 2 years we then fell for each other it was a beautiful few months then with a whole lot of unforeseen stress and drama in his life he wasnt coping well with it and asked if we could go back to being friends….”for now”. Im holding onto those 2 little words for dear life… FOR NOW has given me hope that something could be, but i could be delusional and it was just a turn of phrase at the time. This is eating me up along with the fact that I have probably just lost a friend

  165. what really annoys me is how everything is based on a girl being broken hearted because obviously a guy doesn’t feel anything and its always the guys fault.

  166. Just wanted to share what has brought me here. I’m going on exactly week two of the end of a three month intense loving relationship with a woman. Now I should say that this woman I was involved with has a history of physically abusive relationships and certainly suffers from PTSD and some other serious mental health issues as I’m discovering. I always had that inner “talk” telling me this from the start of when we decided to take our friendship to the next level back in August, however I ignored that “talk” because we literally fell deeply, and I believe, sincerely, for one another. Alas, however, there were MANY signs along the way that seem to support this woman suffers from a serious bipolar disorder. Again, I suspected as much early into the relationship but felt like I was open enough, nonjudgemental and patient enough to love her for who she is entirely. I was however, losing myself in her as her mood would turn on a dime which she would justify (because she refused to accept any treatment for her disorder despite being diagnosed with ADD and bipolar early in her life) by saying she loved as intense as she hated. Anyway it all ended very abruptly because I chose to tell her how I was feeling about a decision she made to end our weekend together prematurely so that she could go home and paint (For bipolar’s their creative outlet is VERY important to their life and actually causes a LOT of stress if they feel they can’t do it when they want to do it). When she got home she texted me how much she loved me for supporting her going home. She doesn’t live in my town so it took her about an hour to get home. Since we only see each other on the weekend I started to feel upset that she really didn’t take into account my feeling about cutting the weekend short (which again is something that bipolar’s have difficulty with). When I texted her how I was feeling when she got home (all I said was I was happy that she made it home safely, that I loved her but that I was having some difficulties with the decision) she FLIPPED out and ended our relationship on a dime! I should also say that this woman believes she is a Shaman and practices journeying often and she told me that during a journey her spirit guides told her to flee from me as I was trying to control her (again, another symptom of bipolar). Anyway, it’s been extremely difficult for me since we were SO in love and I actually felt that love from her and felt it given from me….it was real and soul felt. The difficult part is how someone can turn all of that off so suddenly and literally cut off all ties (we were used to texting throughout every day and talking every night for hours). However I’ve come to learn that this ISN’T normal behavior and in fact another sign of mental illness. Realizing that has made it a bit easier however because the love was real the heartache is still there. The heart doesn’t seem to care about the reasons behind what it feels.

  167. While I understand where this article is coming from and how it can help the people it pertains to, I have heartbreak that comes from a different perspective. I don’t really know how to accurately describe the entire situation other than God slamming a door shut literally 36 hours before I had planned to start. For eight years I waited, prayed, and four year I built a great friendship. Now I am left with an open heart, and no way to express my interest and feelings. The worst part us also the best part, and that is what hurts the most: we are still very close friends. I now have no clue where to go when an open door was closed that abruptly. When I look around all other doors seem like the same thing is going to happen.

  168. Well mine isn’t a break up but I am to much in love with her and it kills me that she even knows that and no matter how far of a subject is it manages to make it back to her in record time and I can’t even see her face to face now because she has moved and I still can’t get over her

  169. maybe girls open up more about their feelings, but we know a heartbreak is possible to anyone

  170. My name is Aisha. I’m 19 years old and just got my hear broken. It feels like I’ve been hit with a sledgehammer in my heart. I can literally feel the pain pulling me down. I try not to think about it but that gets the best of me during the day when I’m at work all alone. He thought me things I never thought I wanted to know to begin with. I’m falling into a state of depression I think, the constant reminder everyday of him is in my head. I am a strong person but this is getting the best of me and it’s so close to the holidays
    I hear what all of you are saying and I understand completely, but the tears are a spectacle of me these days and I’m sinking gradually. I just needed to say this. Maybe your listening wherever you are and maybe I’ll help. But right now I just wanna crawl under a rock and die, but I’m 19 and this is just the beginning right? I need more strength than I though I would ever need… 🙁

  171. What if it wasn’t my fault, nor was it hers, what if all what happend was because of someone else, how can I live knowing that this person was the reason knowing that theres nothing I can do I can’t see myself forgetting or forgiving I can’t see my self living after this. I know I’m loved, I have lots of friends and my family loves me, but all this seems irrelevant, I just don’t care about all this. All I wanted is to be with her and now I can’t.

  172. Life really sucks

  173. I don’t know about you all but I experienced a move out and breakup up over the holidays. It was one of the hardest times in my life and still is. Holidays are the worst. I had a boyfriend who is a roofer and we met in my hometown. He had told me he was eventually going to move his company down to Florida but the more we became serious the more that he said he would wait until all our ducks were in a row so that I may be able to ease my family into the transition to move hundreds of miles away and for me to establish a solid pay working for him as his office manager / PR / right hand partner. Everything was going great until he realized how serious we were and he laid a big whammy on me. He was 100,000 in debt with taxes and hadn’t even talked with anyone about what to do and could have at the time had serious federal issues. I told him at the beginning of our relationship that I would never get with a man who didn’t have his s$$t together so he lied for months. Move in day into my house is when he unleashed the beast. I was hurt and already have problems with trusting men; and long story short we broke up because he was mad that I couldn’t get over the deceit and lies and the fact that now I have dedicated my life to fix his, and put a hold on mine just so we could work and actually have a future. But he never gave me a sincere apology. He never truly looked me into my eyes (even though he claims he did) that he was sorry and it wasn’t going to happen again where he misled me where his money was going and making poor financial decisions without consulting with me since I was his partner. But he did. So all that apologizing turned into a bunch a BS bc someone who is apologetic doesn’t do it again. But I stayed. In fact I stayed a year and let him break me down and make me feel that the demise of our relationship was because I was a nagger or he felt like he walked on egg shells. Then a hurricane hit Florida and about mid November he laid it on me he was moving to Florida period and if I didn’t go we were done. I’m a recovering addict so I can’t just up and leave my support system or a family that I’m extremely close to of 29 years in one city. Even if he said he cared he didn’t and tried to torture me until I flipped out and told him to leave. I asked him over and over what I needed so I could feel secure and what I wasn’t getting in this relationship that has torn me to shreds. So… he abruptly packed his bags and was out of my house on Christmas (what a great present to me this year). I’m heartbroken. Like I cry all the time and I try so hard to be strong. I literally feel pain in my heart and sometimes it’s so strong it takes my breath away. And all I want is answers and closure. Not having closure and being broken up is the worst mixture I think to try to get over the hurt. I need advice. Would love feedback and would like to see if anyone has been in a relationship like this and how you get over someone without closure.

  174. I’m so broken right now…idk but I feel unloved to the person I thought that never hurt me…yes his so very supportive but it’s not what I want from him…it’s not what he can give but I want to feel his love for me like the first time…I miss him really bad but idk if I’m still into his heart cause I feel there’s someone replace me now to his heart😢 sad cause we have son now and he start to flirt to someone…our son is not a mistake for me..but he is a blessing for me …he still support but he wants me to be comfortable to what he can give now and he wants me to act that it’s ok to me whatever he do cause he support us,… idk what is wrong why he change cause I’m still the same person that he met…I still do all the same thing what I am doing for him from the start…all I know I only love him with my whole life from the first time we met till now…

  175. i dont know what to say but my story is exactly the same.. i dont want to wake up again any more.. i know i need help. i am alone far from family. i dont know what to do.. every single word written above is true for me. i didnt know that anyone else is also hurting like me.

  176. I broke a few of these rules. My boyfriend and I broke up (somewhat mutually) in October. Then I did something I thought I was too smart to do — I had an intense rebound. That didn’t last. Now I’m so sad about my ex, how I treated him, how immaturely I acted, how I miss him. I’m trying to pray, I’m trying to listen to sad songs, I’m talking with friends, but nothing seems to help when I’m alone. I just want to talk to him and express my remorse. I’ve tried writing a letter, but I don’t know how to end it, and it doesn’t seem enough. I don’t know how long I can handle trying to act normal. I wish I could heal so I could think with a level head again.

  177. I have been in a relationship with a woman for 4 years. I am also a woman and have been gay my entire life. I am her first relationship with a woman and all was great the first couple of years. But the usual happened as it has to me in the past. She said she needed space and to work on issues on her own. Moved out in May. Told me that she loves me and just needed space. So I let her go. Stayed in touch but it tore me up the whole time. So this weekend she calls and says she wants to see me and our dogs. Should have said no but I gave in. She had to tell me that she had been seeing a man and that she doesn’t want to lead me on just wants to be friends. I can’t do it. I can’t look at her that way. So now I guess I need to find a way to move on and get her out of my head. I should have known better but still pretty devastated.

  178. Somehow it helps reading all of the stories. They are all so similar. I’m just 3 weeks into our breakup and life seems to have stopped. I love him and changed my entire life to be with him. This included my daughter as well. Left our home town of 20 years, transferred, moved to a new city and don’t know anyone, my daughter started jr high in a new school…we uprooted everything. Once a confident and strong woman … i completely lost myself. He withdrew some once we made the move. He apologized constantly for the way he treated me or the things he would say. He broke up with me the day after Christmas. He says he loves me still but the switch got flipped and he doesn’t know how to flip it back. He still texts…but never asks how I’m doing just more casual. I have never experienced this sort of pain. Moments of hope that I will be ok and then bam…all that hurt rushes back in. I want so badly to feel better. I want so badly to take me back. I want so badly to rise above the ashes and be reborn into what I believe He intended me to be. I want so badly to believe that he is not good enough for me or may daughter. I want so badly for him to feel the pain. I want so badly to hate him. But, I love him. I’m inching forward and at times reaching up to the sky praying He will hold my hand and carry me through. I want so badly to believe that He is preparing me for the one He has chosen for me. But, doubt creeps in followed by that hurt. I want so badly to tell him to just leave me alone. I so badly want courage.
    That’s it….my heartbreak.

    • Letting go of him and a relationship that is not good for you or your daughter is VERY courageous. It might help you if you block his number and his texts so that you can have a truly fresh start. You are teaching your daughter about relationships and about being independent and strong without a man in your life. Again, that is very brave and a loving gift to your daughter. If you need encouragement or need to chat, we are here for you 24/7 at TheHopeLine® – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  179. my husband just told me this morning that he isn’t sure he is in love with me anymore…I am totally blindsided by it, we were talking about vacation plans two days ago and getting furniture for our new place…I don’t know where we are headed or what we are going to do. I know I don’t want to make him miserable. Since he told me that this morning, I’ve thrown up several times and haven’t been able to get out of bed, he will be home from work in a few hours so I know I need to get up and put on my happy face, but part of me thinks he needs to see how miserable he is making me and for no reason, or if it is a reason he won’t tell me. I’ve loved this man since we were 13 years old, I waited on him while he did 8 years in prison, I’ve put up with more than anyone in their right mind ever would I just feel lost on and alone…the only plus side is I’ll lose some much needed weight now

    • i feel really sory for that , i will pray for your better life

  180. I dated a guy who didn’t want a relationship. I was sitting there wide open and he didn’t care. Once the writing was on the wall, I accepted it and handled it with dignity. On the inside I was very disappointed and hurt. I googled how to heal from a broken heart and found this article and it was very helpful.

    • I know how you feel, the same thing happened to me. Never forget your strength, your worth, your beauty, and that you are loved. Trust me, the pain passes little by little over time. Keep your head up!

  181. hie guys l have been dating this girl for 2 years now but recently we broke up. she once cheated and i forgave her and we moved on and now there is this guy who was asking here out and i told her 3 times that she should stop talking to him but found out they are still talking and whenever i am wth her the guy seems lik he will be pissed the following day. this guy knws l date this girl and my girl who z now my ex hides his chats with him. not this only but she has a bunch of friends who date married man and she claims she does not do that. i never did anything to her bad all i knw was loving her wth all my heart she is the one who said we should break up but when she tells her friends she says l am overprotective bsides her flirting issues with other guys . i was so heartbroken and i am trying to forget but ts painfull pliz help. i think she takes advantage of my love to her she is 20 and am 25

  182. Today is the day that my boyfriend had broke up with me. And I mean this pain is so unbearable. My feels like I’ve been hit by a car. I can do nothing but cry and yell! I will never wish a broken heart on anyone even my worst enemy.

  183. Just read twenty comments below. Thank you everyone. I am not alone in taking awhile to recover. I’m crushed and I can’t sleep, eat, or stop crying. Totally agree the need to stop all texts and interaction with him. Stupidly texted yesterday he’s so fine with everything.. Now feel back to square one. I am the over analyzer. What did I do wrong…? I have to stop that greave, talk it out and move on. Easier said than done. I will give it up to God. Hadn’t done that. Wallowing.

    • Hey Meg, I get needing to stop the contact with him. And I understand that it is a dopamine high when he responds and we seem like we used to be and I know that I feel worse later….but this seems like the end of every dream I’d ever had. I’m 48, divorced since 30….met this man (16 yrs older than me, which was a shock) and fell in love hard and fast. From the start, he was unlike anyone I’d ever met. No one had ever treated me as well as he had, or understood me, accepted me – not family, and few friends. I wasn’t able to have children, and he brought 5 grown children and 12 (!) grandchildren to the relationship. I was finally part of the family that I had always wanted. After 18 months, he left for work and didn’t come back. We work for the same company, different locations. It’s been nearly 9 months, and I distract myself a lot. I don’t have many friends whom I trust. He was my best friend, we did everything together, and it never occurred to me that we WOULDN’T be together forever. Giving him up, means giving up every last part of a dream I’ve had for 30 years. No family, and I am afraid of bitterness creeping in. I miss him. It is physically painful, and I am greatly concerned that I will not get over him. He left, and that was the only “mean” thing he’d ever done. I felt like a queen. Now I just feel without hope for happiness for the future. I think that I was so sad that God allowed it to happen. 18 months that were the happiest in my life – genuinely.

  184. i am 27 and i have a work colleague i have known for 4 years always had a crush on her but never acted on it until June last Year. we got together shortly after and had an amazing 3 months together. we loved each other to the point we could see spending our lives together (alcohol brings out the inner thoughts you are too afraid to say). then we broke up not quite out of the blue she wasn’t happy with her flatmates always had issues with money and imho it started to affect her massively. i see her everyday less than 30 feet away from me and i am crazy about her, i read some of the comments on here and find myself and the way i am feeling about her to be a common situation. i find myself secluded on my own constantly thinking about her morning and night, we are still friends and i think thats what makes it worst seeing her day in and day out. All our close friends said we are great together, they tell her that she is never going to find someone that treats her better than i do and thats going on her past experience with fellas.

  185. Feel the same way😐

  186. My boyfriend of 5yrs, and whom I have been living with for the entire time has just broken up with me. I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday morning and I cannot sleep. I have cried and wished that this was just a huge misunderstanding or a bad dream, but then the reality sets in and my heart aches so bad. I want to be at the stage where I can move on already so that I don’t have to endure this pain. The hardest part about not being able to dwell or over analyze things is that this break up was a huge shock and I can honestly say that there were no warning signs for me as to how he was truly feeling in the last few weeks…I have questioned myself and my actions. All I feel is pain and rejection from someone who I had invested so much time and love into. I still want to remain friends with him as he’s been my best friend for the last 5yrs! I just don’t think I could bare seeing him being able to move on and leave me left behind all alone. How can people be able to switch their feelings/emotions on and off like a switch? I feel cheated by him as he is six years younger than me and I have sacrificed not having children to be with him only to find out now that his ‘heart isn’t in it anymore’. I will be 34 this year and I just could not imagine myself being able to find someone who will love all of me as well as want to have kids with me before it’s too late.

  187. i am in a similar situation – except i have had my heart broken repeatedly by the same guy over and over for 2 years now. I feel permanently damaged. looking for a miracle

    • I’m going through the same thing as you

  188. i am a man. i am hurt. reading up on how and when to emot…using the pain to work out harder…

    • Hi I am feeling heartbroken. I met a man and he was so completely smitten with me at first but I soon realised he was still suffering from breaking up with his wife of 18 years. He told me he struggles every day with it. I felt so deeply for him and allowed myself to love him, hoping he would begin to heal and fall in love with me. Six months later he tells me he isn’t ready. I am devastated feel so stupid for allowing him to break my heart like this. His ex has moved on but he can’t seem to. I find myself worrying about his state of mind and his depression and I want to help him and be there for him. He says I deserve better, we are still friends but I obsess about him and can’t help messaging him just to chat in the hope he will want me again.

      • Just be realistic. He hasnt moved on yet and give him time to do that. Now, what best you can do is to focus on yourself. Accept that he needs time to heal. It may sound hard to cut all communication with him but do that for you to move on as well. BE STRONG, I KNOW YOU ARE!

  189. good advice here.

  190. the best advice ever! it’s really hard, but

  191. I am never, ever letting myself fall in love again. I can’t stand it. I’m done. I’m just done.

  192. Are you better now? Did time taking away the pain.

  193. Being able to rely on your friends is a HUGE part of getting over any type of breakup. Even if it was nothing really serious, you need to have that friend connection.

  194. I’m 20 and my first serious boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. It was a screwed up and cowardly way of doing it too. I had called to talk to him about something. I had been calling all day. So I finally got a text back from him and when I got home from church I called again. Then some random girl answered the phone who I had never met in my life and told me that it’s not gonna work out and all she knows is that I’m number two. I asked if he could tell me himself and he agreed with her. I had been in love with him since high school and it screwed me up that it ended like that. I still think about him every day and he was my best friend as well so I’ll be like oh that’s so funny I have to tell him then I realize I can’t. He blocked me the next day so I never got a chance to talk to him about it. I’m still completely heartbroken.

  195. I got muy heart broken twice by the same guy. Like he broke it, mended it just to rip the bandages off he used to mend it with now I’m left with this mess of a heart with holes and self doubt. He didn’t even give me the respect of saying it to my face. Keep in mind we lived together. Before I left for work everything was fine. 2 hours later he text me saying he’s movingto his mom’s and he can’t duo it.

    • I have the similar thing happened to me. But, instead I was the one living with them

    • I had the same thing happened to me this morning except for the guy was my husband and left me with a mortgage and bills to pay you said that he’s never coming back and I was the worst thing ever happened to him and really I was only one there for him but even his family wasn’t so how do you come back from that how do you learn to trust and love again

    • Same thing happened to me just over a month ago. The pain I feel is so unbearable. I dnt know how to live anymore.

    • had the same thing happen to me yesterday but i wasn’t living with him. we were even planning on getting married and then he said i’m not the right fit for him… i love him deeply and it really hurts, whats worse is that we have a child together 🙁

  196. It really sucks guys. I thought that I was best friends with this guy, we used to talk every day and I felt like he actually cared. We weren’t even really a couple. I cared, but he didn’t. Now I see all the warning signs I should have seen earlier, but I ignored them. He basically ended our friendship because I was upset at him for something that could have been fixed, but instead he played the cold shoulder because that’s his defense mechanism; he can’t admit when he’s wrong; he can’t say sorry. Furthermore, he can be really selfish, and doesn’t have empathy which is the scary thing, made worse by the fact that he does it unconsciously. After we stopped talking, he ran back to this other girl he used to be best friends with but ended their friendship previously, because he had no one else to go to. He knew that girl would come back to him, she likes him. He played her, and me. The difference is that I’ve come out of this manipulative friendship, but she’s still stuck in it. He managed to convince her that I talked badly about her, which I never did, I barely even knew her, and turn her against me. He was left alone because he had so many issues with his friends and others that many stopped talking to him, because they figured out the kind of person he is. In the end, I just feel really stupid for not breaking this unhealthy relationship sooner, and realizing him for who he is.
    I’m the kind of person who loves easily, who’s really friendly, who looks at the best in people. Unfortunately that’s the reason we became friends. That’s how I’ve always been, but he changed that for me. He made me realize that some people don’t have good. Some people will try to break you. Some people really DONT care. I never believed that till now.
    I know that it’s all for the best. He really is a jerk, and I know that he was making my life and my personality worse, though I tried so hard to ignore it unconsciously. I’ve learned to be careful who I let in my life, and never to ignore any warning signs. I’ve learned to say no. It really hurts right now. It’s been 2 months and I still feel awful, but I know that I will eventually be ok, and be able to move on, and one day, I’ll feel alive again. I’m loved, and I will never forget that.

  197. My heart was recently broken by my boyfriend of 6 years. We have a handsome 4 months old. But about a week ago I found out he has someone who is 6 months pregnant. There is no way I can forgive him and it will be the hardest thing to get pass this. I feel like my whole world has been destroyed, I cry day and night but each time I feel even worst. People say forget about him and move on but it is not that simple, I still have to communicate with and I still have to see him due to us having a child together. For me seeing him ever so often brings back memories that I wish I didn’t have to give up on. Some advice please.

  198. I am 20 years old and my heart was recently broken by my boyfriend of 6 years. We have a handsome 4 months old. But about a week ago I found out he has someone who is 6 months pregnant. There is no way I can forgive him and it will be the hardest thing to get pass this. I feel like my whole world has been destroyed, I cry day and night but each time I feel even worst. People say forget about him and move on but it is not that simple, I still have to communicate with and I still have to see him due to us having a child together. For me seeing him ever so often brings back memories that I wish I didn’t have to give up on. Some advice please.

  199. I have a unique situation in that the girl was my son’s ex. She’s 20 and I am in my early 50s. I kept saying it was too good to be true. I have never had a break up since I was 13 and it hurts bad. I Just want to know how she’s doing. Waiting on another email from her. Just wanting to be friends to know she’s ok.
    Obviously she is a screwed up girl and has had a terrible life before me. I gave all and got back little, just as my son has told me. I was trying to be a great father figure and after my son treated her so bad and they broke up, I told her my feelings. She was surprised and had no problem becoming my girlfriend. {Sarcasm}What a great father figure I showed her.
    My sister told me she never was treated so well, and probably was confused. An argument started by me was the end. Now I feel I am to blame but it probably was for the best: I have a wife of 29 years that’s in a nursing home for memory care and my ex is married to a terrible guy that is now a 3 time felon and she has a 6 month old that she lost custody of and is fighting to get back. I knew it couldn’t be forever but I was so happy with her. However it was only 6 days, but I knew her for 9 weeks.

  200. Good or bad idea?
    I’m looking for advice if it’s a good or bad idea to continue talking to the one who broke your heart? (Talking as just friends and nothing more)
    The background of the breakup, together 6 years, everything was good I was starting to look for a ring for her, found out she was cheating on me, she’s really sorry and continues to talk to me as a friends. Should I continue to talk to her as friends?

  201. I am at that point now..i feel like i will never recover mentally..probably never trust anyone fully again..but i believe time will make me heal.

    • Please don’t feel like that. I was severely injured too. You can and will get through it..

    • Me too. My stomach is in knots.. i feel like i have a big bubble in my throat. And i can’t shut my mind off

      • I’m glad I found this page. I’ve been betrayed and it really hurts. Making me question my purpose as a person. I can’t eat or do anything

        • Hi I feel the same way 🙁

        • Very true

      • I felt like this when I fell in love with her …what is this feeling ..it’s strange !!

  202. What happens if you can’t find anyone that cares or wants to listen? I try to go to everyone I can, but no one seems to care, understand, or care to understand. I’m not sure what to do anymore…please help.

    • HopeCoaches are here for you 24/7 and we can connect you to even more resources. Please give us a try. Chatting is free and confidential. Click the “Chat Now” button.

  203. My heart was broken for the first time exactly six weeks ago today. I am 24, and if someone would’ve told me a year ago that I would fall in love I would have laughed in their face. I never thought I could fall in love. And then I did. And then unfortunately, as it turned out, I stayed in the butterfly stage for too long and picked up the signs way too late. He was backing out. He got afraid. We do not live in the same country, our lives are very different, but despite all that we both thought in the beginning we could make it work. I thought I had found the one. I can rationalize everything: I know he wasn’t the right guy for me, I know that I have put myself in second place in this relationship, I know I will feel better in a while, I know I need time to heal, I know that I dodged a bullet and that he actually did me a favor by breaking up with me. It doesn’t take away though that I am still reminded of him all the time. That sometimes I am still crying over him. That I am so afraid that I will never feel like I did with him ever again. I feel like a fool, like an idiot for letting my feelings cloud my judgement. For letting him in. For letting my guard down. Because right now, I regret falling in love with him. I cannot think about the amazing moments that we shared because they make me sick to my stomach. If only there was a way to speed up the process.

  204. Hi just come across this page as I was looking for help with mending my broken heart my husband of under 2 years moved out after 9months and we didn’t have any problems he just used to go into his shell and cut me out of his life after 2 years of this and him saying he wants a divorce I have walked away ..I have cut all contact (every bit ) and it not that I don’t want to hear from him it’s that to heal my heartache I need to have no contact ..my heart is broken can’t eat and I just want him ..but it’s time to move on as he will never change and he isn’t willing to I pray every day for him and for my self to heal ..I hope every 1 on this site is healing as I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worse enemy ..god bless

  205. I had started seeing a girl we was together off and on for eight months. We broke it off last week because she was playing around a lot and wasn’t showing interest in me anymore. Her ex girlfriend got out of jail and I know they are back talking even though she don’t wants to admit it. I feel so dumb and betrayed and heartbroken I been trying to keep my mind off of her which I actually been doing pretty good at. seeing the posts on here are making me feel better and showing me that i’m not alone. I have to see her at work tomorrow and I don’t even want to come to work anymore.

  206. Amazing and exactly how I feel. I am also Christian and this helped a lot so thank you so much .

  207. My fiancé broke up with me a month ago. He has someone else already. We had problems but I believed it could have been worked out. I’ve developed severe anxiety and having to see a dr and take meds. I want him to be happy but I feel I was never that important for him to be able to move on this fast. I wonder did he have this someone before we ended.

  208. Well me too l leave with a broken heart with so many excuses..i call and text but no avail i don’t know what is the reason and I feel betray and it’s hurt so badly but m not angry and trying to forgive. Every time I miss him I look at our pictures and it’s calm me down and those are my best memories..I have no regrets of knowing him even though time we spent is not much(We are having a long distance relationship )I just want him to tell me face to face or a simple text that he is giving up on me or we don’t match ..why didn’t he has the gut to tell me !! I wander what’s wrong with me 😓

  209. I am so glad i found this page, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me over the phone. We are both in our late 30’s an while cleaning his home when he was deployed i found an engagement ring, when he came home i asked him about it an said it was for me but changed his mine, he know longer wanted to marry me or be with me.I been beside myself for three weeks, I feel like I have this huge knot in my stomach. I loved him so much an did so much for him when he was deployed, he came home an wanted nothing to do with me.

    • I am so sorry to hear that. How are you now?

  210. Gee….. I don’t necessarily understand “how” anyone “heals”. Not within my realm of experience. I have dear friends who say i’m living in “fear”, ever since being discarded coming up on two years ago. But i simply haven’t found any comfort in “time” that has passed, or in socializing / getting to know more people. The connection between social interaction and emotional “ouch” is such that they’re one-and-the-same. Others eventually risk again. I’m honestly happy for those blessed souls. I can’t even imagine it being an attractive idea. Done. Safe. Lonely, but safe. That’s enough.

  211. The pain that I’m feeling is indescribable..it’s been 2weeks since she broke up with me and I feel like dying. The worst thing is she seems to have moved on constantly posting pictures of her clubbing with other guys coz she knows I’ll see it. I’ve tried deleting her number but I find myself saving it again! I’m a man but I’ve never cried like this for years and it sucks and the worst part is she doesn’t seem to care!!
    I wish I could into a coma and wake up 1 year later!

    • I’ve been in a relationship for 8months but I’ve known her for like two years now. We got engaged but the relationship were always argument, I treated her bad, she never trust me because of stuff that I did to her. The other day we said it’s over between us but I go one and half day an notice I have to talk to her. When I called her she told that she’s talking to someone I begged her to come to me and tell her how am sorry, we text and talk on the phone regularly after that but about a week after she went out with the guy and they had sex. She told me the next day and said the guy were horrible in bed and she don’t think it’s going anywhere with her cause he’s too cute and stuff that she don’t like about him. I told her it’s ok I still want her back, I told her I want to know where I stand in her life, if we’re social friends, are is there something we can work on but she won’t give me a straight answer she just said I DONT KNOW. In the evening we talked and she said that she need to see Constancy from me that I really want to be with her. She get me confuse cause she said she don’t want to be with anyone and then she’s talking to the guy and telling me that she needs to constancy from me! My heart is melting know that she had sex with someone so quick.

  212. HI. I just gotten my heart broken back this April. The guy I was in love with was my everything besides our son and his other children. We were together for 8 years but broken up maybe twice and still found a way back to each other. We were supposed to move together so we can raise our son together for a chance. Yes we argued horribly at times but still loved each. During that time, he was living with his brother and I had some things in his room. Just suddenly out the blue he stopped talking for a few days and then when we spoke, I said do I need to get my things, he said quietly yes then quickly hung up. When I went to get my things, I was told by a family member that he moved in with someone and to this day, this man has mentioned that he moved on. He politely called one day for our son and then told my family member we went separate ways. I still didn’t think of it until I saw a picture of him and the woman he with. I mean he called one week late at night, I said to myself he should be happy so why he calling. I mean I am still torn and heartbroken and somewhat holding on hopes he will come back. This man has not mentioned to me yet he has moved on but I just assumed he finally did because of a picture. I need help on moving on

    • We have known each other for

  213. I suffer from anxiety and depression and even thought I go to therapy it didn’t seem to help much. Until the day I met the most amazing guy in the world and he helped me a lot with my problems. I ended up falling in love with him and at some point I felt like I stood a chance. Boy was I wrong. Now everyday I have to watch him grow distant and trying to start relationships with other girls. I thought that maybe if I told him how I felt it would be easier to move on but it only got me even more messed up. I basically used a person to help me with my emotional issues and that was a huge mistake. I wanted to know if there is a way I get through this because it only gets harder everyday and none of my friends know how to help me.

  214. Revenge Your Ex
    Each day hundreds of men and women seek revenge on their ex-mates for a
    variety of reasons, usually because they got dumped or where cheated on.
    Revenge comes in many ways. It typically starts by using social media to
    vent, and then escalates from there. The best revenge is when you improve your life so well that she
    realizes she made a big mistake. And satisfaction comes when you meet
    someone so much better, you are glad the ex is gone. After all, if you are
    seeking revenge, how great could she really have been in the first place!

  215. I am so heart broken . Twice by the same guy who promise me he will change for the better , who told me he will never be a cowards again that run away from rs problem or issue and that we will work together as a team to compromise and work it out. Who also the one that said that he had reflect during our first breakup and find himself really dead serious for me . He explained that he is not capable of giving me what i need and want previously but he is able to do so now and want second chance . And so i did give him second chance because i believe i have some flaws that require to change as well . Even second chance is given he still lie to me , he make me feel insecure and always treat me as his last option . When i bring out my concern , he will always avoid it. When i want to talk things out , he will just say sorry and we just move on like that . I feel that i am not his prioritise and i dont impt to him at all . i feel that my feeling is not being deem as impt. He promise to gain back my trust and i did give him a headstart of how i will react to certain situation when i lost my trust, which i require his understanding. he promised to gain my trust and will be understandinf if i get paranoid . However just only the next day he literally lie to me that he is at work when he is not. We broke up . When i bring out what i am unhappy abt towards , he will try to change it. Compromise . Commit . But it only lasted for like 2 weeks … and he give up . I had forgive him countless time yet i still did not give up on him because i really love him . And is so sad to realise that he still hasnt change a single bit or do what he promise when he ask for second chance.

  216. I was heart broken twice by the same guy who promise to change for a better

  217. So had my heartbroken a couple months ago, and still feels like it happened yesterday. We’re together for 10 yrs I’m 26 now. High school sweethearts . Graduated same year.
    Lived together the last 4 years.
    She left me once before we lived together. Asked for space only to find out she left me for someone. I forgave her. Got back together , lived together. She came back from a vaca with her girlfriends. Told me she didn’t love me no more. Seperated again. And found out 2 weeks later from her ex best friend. She is in a relationship with some older guy. Broke my heart. Think about her everyday. But have had no contact with her since. There is no point. Will only hurt me more to contact her. My love for her was real, genuine, I was loyal. And truly committed to a life with her. :/ I hear about her from all my friends . We have the same friends since we were highschool sweethearts .

  218. Last night he hangs up on me, ignores my texts and messages asking him what is going on. He starts removing me from FB and Steam. I ask him again for an explanation and he ignores me. I then start removing him off stuff. He finally says something to me and tells me this is what I wanted. After 4 years and telling me he would never leave and how much he really loves me. I am completely lost and heartbroken I deserve to know why!

    • i wasted 4 years of my time too. I know how it feels.

      • i lost 7 years of my time.. and it’s my first…

        • 5. I’m losing my will to live.

          • Nobody is worth harming yourself over. I understand completely the feeling of just wanting to die. Ive felt it many times throughout my life. That feeling will subside eventually. Surround yourself with people who care about you. Think about all the people who would be more heart broken than you are right now if you were gone. You may not have deserved what happen to you, but all those people that love you dont deserve to suffer over losing you. And they are the ones that would be hurt if you were gone. Besides, you cant fix whatever happened if you’re no longer alive. I wont say that its never as bad as it seems. That would be untrue. But no matter how bad it is, it can always be made better. That is unless you arent around to make it better. Talk to a professional if you’re having thoughts of suicide or anything like that. They can help you with problems like that, but only if you let them. Life is far too short to justify making it any shorter. I’ll pray for you. Just know, it will get better.
            “Defeat is a state of mind. Nobody is ever defeated until they have accepted defeat as a reality.”
            -Bruce Lee

          • That’s a great quote. I will keep that with me. Ty

          • I promise it will get better.
            I’m sure, you’ve overcome worse than this.
            Remember that.

    • last night i had a really hard break up .. mine relation was 5 years and now i feel like i am … i imagined everything with her and now it’s all gone what do i do 😭

      • Today I broke up with my (former) guy after over 12 years of going nowhere fast. It sucks. I feel as you do, I imagined everything with him and now that future is gone, but I am hoping that once I heal (and you too), that there is a brighter future on the horizon. Take care of yourself.

        • i wasted our 2 yrs. and i don’t know what to do. I feel so guilty ,tears keep falling and thinking about suicide.

          • Azzila, Thank you for reaching out. We are so sorry you are going through this. It’s important that you continue to talk about how you are feeling. We have HopeCoaches available you can chat online with Monday – Saturday from 7pm to 12am CST. They would listen and help you through this. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

          • It hurts like hell… Im planning to let go becuz im to old for this.I dont want to continue to hurt I need my peace of mind back.I didnt see it coming and to think her loves someone more then he loves me is so painful.What did i do wrong why didnr he talk to me so I could fix it.Why why .. im so tired of hurting .I dont wont to be here anymore. …I dont need someone help to convince me to stay….its my life and Im ready to go

          • Feelings are so darn strong . I wish sometimes something could make me numb to feelings but the darn truth is that there isn’t anything to completely rid of feelings. Sucks ! What does help is to find a group of people who equally share hate for their exes and can bash on them all you want . Need one person who can hear you out of all the wrong. I get you it’s messed up how people can continue loving in peace after they screw someone over. I hope you can keep busy doing something that keeps your mind busy like volunteer your time in someplace / Area where you have passion for. Good things will come to you .

          • How have you been feeling lately ? I too have been thinking a lot about where I could have gone different in the past two years. I realized some days I feel better than others and on those days were days I remembered to do something for myself . A physical activity. Ride my bike, go to a group gym class or out of town.
            Let me know what activities you like to do .

          • It’s comforting to know that people out there are supporting each other and are giving advice. I got left three months ago for someone else. Its painful and humiliating at the same time. Three years of my life just gone. Hope I can be as strong as you someday.

          • Azzila… How are you doing? Can i tell you it wasnt 3 weeks ago i was feeling the same. I found comfort insomeone to talk to. Pleae know you are an important person. And even though you may feel like your life is ending know that there are people who love you and care for you. I do.. I do becuase i understand what its like to be there how hard it deeply hurts your heart. How alone it feels to be in so much pain. How could this person do this to me? Dont they see what ive done for them? The truth is they have their own choices wether they choose to accept your precious heart or decide there are other things that are more important to them. Please turn your sadness and brokeness to the world let us help you. And love you. You are worth every bit of it. There will be moments of ups and downs feel it express it but dont stay there. Let if flow through you like a faucet of water. Put those energies into a passion you have. You will inspire others. There are others hurting just like you who will need a precious heart like yours.

          • By now am sure you are much better than 5 months ago
            Suicide should not come our way Darling

    • I am reeling over the end of a 30 year relationship. We’ve been best friends for 50. Yes, he is m, and is going to stay that way because of money and family. His wife also wants to stay although we have been together through most of their 34 year marriage. She finally found out and all our lives have turned upside down. I cry all the time. I wait for his call or text. He is still around for business so I have to see him occasionally. He is like a drug for me. I just want the pain to stop. I’ve become immobile. I can’t concentrate on anything and I have so much work to do.

      • I’m so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there.

    • Today was the worst day i broke up with bf….and its the worst thing..i cant stop thinking about him…our memories and his lips his hugs when we played together…i miss him so much ily so much chris…i feel sad i want to cry and scream…i want to go to him and kiss him again for the last time…but i cant ig…..i canr sleeep withour saying gn baby to him…i cant anymore…💔😩😧😭

      • It’s very sad to hear and I m very sorry for what things have happened. Things will fall into place as time passes and everything will be healed as it’s just matter of time. Time heals everything. I have also experienced breakup recently and things are not over clearly yet. Keep faith in god and don’t over react. After all everything is temporary, the pain, love , hate and etc… we can’t change what is written in our fate. Just stay cool…

      • try a better one just for the sake of your own life

      • Try taking day by day. I’m in the same situation

      • Hello all how you all shaping up? I cant cope with these feelings. Please help

      • I been through this lately, the pain just seem never leaves considering it has been 5 months since we parted ways. 💔😔😭

    • I am in the same boat me and this girl were friends for years, we spoke almost everyday but i always wanted more but was too cowardly to say so. One day i finally worked up the courage to tell her how i feel and she doesn’t say yes ir no. She just left me in limbo for years as I tried to prove that I could be the guy for her. Until one day 2 years ago for whatever reason she finally comes out and tells me she has no romantic feelings for me. I was devastated i stopped speaking to her for a few weeks but eventually we talked again and it seemed like we would still be friends. But i discovered that i felt u comfortable being around her physically, and started to avoid spending time with her. She noticed and we talked about this but we were never the same. Some time later i think we could still be friends but she picks a random argument with me and then abruptly stops speaking to me. When i experienced a family tragedy and tried to reach out to her she rebuffed me that is when i knew we were no longer friends.

  219. I found my ex on face book we made plans to get back togther after all these years .he was coming to see me. Then He just stop talking to me i dont even know why. We had the same dreams. I tried to be as honest as possible. And we never had a fight . I dont know what happend. But i wish i never spoke to him . I had regets and he is the love of my life. I never knew i miss him so much . My life went from happy to so sad. I feel like my heart is breaking and the lifes been sucked out. I have not pm him. I feel leaving him alones best. But i am so hurt and heart broken …. God i hope this feeling stops

  220. I just had a break-up yesterday. He called me on the phone and say that he thinks we should break-up. Just like that! I ask why and he told me that he just wanted to be alone. This man has been a part of my life for almost a year. I’ve met his friends and folks and he met mine. We talked and text everyday. Spend quality time together, talked about the future etc. We live about an hour and a half apart from each other but we both agree that we would make it work, although I made most of the sacrifices to make it work. There was no secrets, no other relationships, no arguments or conflicts, nothing. I asked him was it finances, issues with his ex-wife, his son, me? Nothing. How could you say and show that you love someone and than the next week all of a sudden don’t want to be with them more? How could you be dedicated to the bad and troubled women that were in your life and hurt the good one? The one who was there for you? The one who was unselfish and show you the love that was missing from your past relationships! People always say that they want a great relationship with someone that would treat them better than their ex did but runs away from a great new relationship! My heart is in pain. I will be happy when this feeling goes away. It hurts so much. 🙁
    Sincerely,
    Heart Broken

  221. I gradually fell deeper and deeper in love over a nearly 25 year marriage. When my spouse ended it I was devastated. It has been over 20 years since then and despite everything I’ve tried it still hurts. They were my best friend, then they were gone. I was one who said I’m never going to “fall in love”. I heard all the breakup songs and the pain expressed in them and thought I never want to go through that. Well, it’s not always a choice. Brief crushes are one thing, much easier gotten over, but a long term love is something else. It gets under your skin and becomes part of who you are, part of how you and others define you, as a couple. Well I don’t have any easy answers or even hard ones. I think that if I ever fall in love again it might help. That hasn’t happened yet despite my best efforts and that life before is part of me, good or bad. When I’m reminded of it, say in a similar story line of a movie, book or TV show, some of the pain of that loss comes back. There is no way to avoid it unless I shut down completely. I guess not being open to it in the beginning means the same thing, being shut down completely. Pain is part of life. Do I wish it never happened? Yes, but that’s unrealistic, it just is. You take the good with the bad. I guess the saying “once burnt, twice shy” is what I’m living. Real love doesn’t come along very often but I’m open to it, be it ever so small an opening, I hope it happens again. It was a good feeling!

  222. I really dont want to get over him. He is the most kindest caring man I know, I treated him horrible and i wish on everything i could take those drunkin moments away. He is already seeing someone and it hurts like hell..just wish he was mine again dont think i will ever find noone as good as him.I dont even want to try i have guys give me there numbers but i have no desire to call or talk to any of them. Just want him back

  223. Where to begin?
    We met last summer at a conference in St. Louis. I didn’t think anything of it until December when I started hearing from her quite a bit. She invited me to come down for a few days and we had a great time and decided to pursue a relationship.
    We had to do it long distance for a while but she was able to get a job transfer up to where I live. I was really happy. Perhaps I didn’t express it enough. We were making plans for the future. I met her parents and her grown children before we went in an unbelievable cruise. She was helping me through a difficult job search. She was my biggest cheerleader. We had been talking for a while about getting married. My kids adored her. My ex-wife liked her. All was well.
    Yesterday she texts me “we need to talk.” She wanted to do it face to face but I didn’t think I could handle it so I just asked her to get it over with. I get the whole “somewhere along the line we’ve gone from GF/BF to friendship.” Needless to say I was floored after all the times we talked about being open and honest. I know this wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. I just wished she would have let me know sooner so we could try to fix it.
    I was trying not to rush by taking it slow and respecting her space while she transitioned to the move and her new job. What did I do wrong? I am numb and in shock. My kids are crushed. I can’t get out of bed. I can’t eat. The only thing that gives me comfort today is my cats who seem to know something is wrong (or they want food).
    Weird thing is that after I unfriended her and FB and sent a couple of pathetic messages I finally just told her I would like to talk about it when she’s ready. I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment.
    I’m starting to wonder is I’m just destined to be alone for the rest of my life. That’s not what I want at all. I have so much love to give but after the recent breakup, that I didn’t see coming, I’m starting to wonder why I should bother putting myself out there. All I want is to share my life with someone and no one wants to. I’m at a loss. What do I do?

    • love yourself more first?

    • yeah, I feel your pain as well. I have been heartbroken 3x, but the latest was I think the worst of all. I also wonder on why should I even again try to effort to put myself out there and only to be hurt again by someone. However, maybe we should just start to love ourselves such that we will slowly heal.

  224. 4 months ago i expressed my feelings for a really close friend, they said they feel the same and before i knew we were in love. A friend had warned me that I shouldn’t go in to fast. I didn’t listen. She has just recently expressed that we should just be friends for now. I was devastated All i wanted to do was cry and cry.. I am now recovering after taking it to God and reading this artical.
    Thanks for helping me through my difficult times

  225. This article is 2 years ago but i just got tht broken heart yesterday. We’ve been bestfriend for 4 years and i never see him tht way. But then we became so intimate and he helps me with the broken heart too. I start to take our relationship as even deeper. One day he said he love me for long period time and scared to risk our friendship but i feel the same way to him. Our relationship is all fun and he seriously a nice guy, i thought we will last for long. But yesterday he said he cheated on me and he said it is his issue tht he cant be in a commitment. I hv my own problem with my family, i thought i will find my happy time with him but no.. he throw me away that easily. It is really hurt. Still hurt, my heart feels like someone punching it. I cant help but crying and crying crying. I lost not only my boyfriend but bestfriend. Who will i talk abt everything, send me cute text and spam how gorgeous i am… who will tease me about everything. This is hurt. Idk how long it will take.. i feel like my life is useless, no one knows about this and im scared i wont find any happiness. I had a lot of broke ups and feelings, but this is the worst

  226. i lost my bestfriend and my boyfriend in the same 24 hours because of bad decisions so the one person i could talk to about losing him is her. and i cant.

  227. I was having a relationship with someone that was living with her children’s father. Now I know this was not a smart way to start any relationship but they were separating. We were being cautious and sensitive to the kids. Two years later and madly in love with each other, he finally moves out and I thought we were ready to begin OUR life together. Guess I was wrong. We spent all day together making love on my birthday, two days later, I find out she went out on a date with another man and was unfaithful to me. To make it worse i find out he had already been introduced to her children, her mother, her EX! Smh, now she tells me she does not want to lose me completely out if her life. Wtf does that even mean?! I haven’t eaten, sleep is all screwed up…im in so much pain.

  228. My boyfriend recently broke up with me, we dated for 2 amazing years. About a year in he started hounding me. I couldn’t talk to certain people I couldn’t be anywhere near those people. The guys he didn’t want me with was understandable, but I couldn’t even be with some of my own girl friends. He started to try to control what I did and how I did things. It felt like he was trying to change the person I am. Deep down I know he was just trying to help, but at the time I didnt realize it. I decided we needed a break (biggest mistake of my life). During our break that lasted about 3 months, he started talking to another girl (about a month in). Telling her everything he’d tell me.calling her what’d he call me. It honestly killed me. I thought he had moved on and as much as it hurt I wanted him to be happy. So I started talking to another guy, or trying to anyway. Point is I couldn’t go through with it. Few months went by and I decided to text him see how he was doing. Eventually we got back together. We were together for another 3 months (still hurt from the break). About 2 weeks ago he texted me saying we rushed into things didn’t have time to heal. I agreed. I told him I didn’t want to break up since it was hell for the both of us. But he made up his mind and left…not even 3 days later he went on a date with the girl he was with when we first broke up. 5 days layer I was told from close friends he met her family that day. Not even a week since he broke up with me he’s officially dating her and I’m here drowning in my own tears and self pity not knowing what to do…

    • It sounds like he was very controlling. One of the signs of an unhealthy relationship is “Isolating you from friends and family by controlling whom you are “allowed” to talk to and convincing you that your family and friends aren’t good for you.” You can read more about it in this blog – https://www.thehopeline.com/8-signs-dating-relationship-is-unhealthy
      I know it really hurts right now, but hopefully some day you will have a healthy relationship with someone and will be thankful that this one is not in your life anymore.

  229. Was in a relationship for 6 years 2 weeks ago I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me for 3 years now that I fine out he start moving like I push him to do it I’m feeling like I don’t have a heart anymore and what hurts more he desiderate to more on with the next person I feel helpless I just want to get over it and stop calling or messaging him somethings was just never meant I believe in God and some day to come I will get over it

  230. It’s been 4 months and I am still crying. I was the one that left because I knew the relationship was unhealthy but I just can’t seem to quit analyzing and thinking of him. It’s every day…but I am going to keep trying.

    • We are glad you realized the need to move on from an unhealthy relationship. We understand the hurt and pain you are going through. Time will help with your healing process. In the meantime, please feel free to chat online with one of our HopeCoaches about how you are feeling. Talking about i will help. http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  231. Ok so I was dating my boyfriend for 5 months he told me all the time I was the one. We seen each other every night he told me he loved me every night. Than out of nowhere one day he woke up and said he can’t look past my past and left me heart broken. It’s been exactly 3 weeks and it doesn’t get any easier. I had a terrible past relationship and swore I would never fall in love again. But look what happened and im still crying and he’s in a whole new relationship with someone who is a downgrade from me. My whole thing is if he meant everything he said we would not be where we are right now. Everyone says it will get easier but I want to know when cause honestly it gets hader knowing this is real, I’m just so lost and it sucks.

  232. I definitely agree that we must allow ourselves to be human and feel the pain. Pain can teach us a lot of things and help us grow. It can even remind us how deeply and truly we have loved. The pain of a broken heart doesn’t mean we failed. It means we have tried our very best. It means we have given our very hearts and loved to the full.

  233. I had a pakistani boyfriend for three years;; we’ve meet here in saudi arabia where we we’re work same to be like :::i was totally broke after he told me he was engaged to a girl just in fb n his parents arranged it for him;;; while we are planning to get married as soon as we finished our contract;;; i really dnt know how i feel right now!

  234. I’m crying my heart out but, when a friend told me to read this I felt better than I was yesterday.Why does love hurt so much? Why can’t I be with someone for the rest of my life? It hurts so much… I’m actually crying right now. I just want to take care of someone and keep her safe from harm. I need someone to share my love. I need love and I need to feel it. I want to watch the sunset with someone laying besides me.I can’t and don’t understand why she broke my heart. She just wanted to use me to get close to someone that I knew and it hurt. I promised a friend and a family member that I won’t cut myself and it’s getting hard keeping that promise. I just need to keep my head up and keep going forward but, it’s so hard. Can something help me?

    • We are so sorry you have to go through this, Victor. Heart break can be devastating. Here is a resource to help you with your desire to cut and self-harm yourself. They are partners of TheHopeLine and have helped many. Please call, text or go to their website. It will help. http://www.doorofhope4teens.org
      Texting 4 hope: 803.570.2061 or 914.393.1904
      Email: doorofhope4teens@gmail.com

  235. It hurt so much,i thought he really loves me but he found someone else idk what to do i hope the pain will just go easily,i jst cant handle it

    • I know the feeling. I thougt we we’re inlove. Been together for a long time. Only to find out he already planned his future with someone else. It hurt so bad. Even i don’t know what to do… the pain is too much…

  236. Am hurting now,i cant handle this feeling i dnt know what to do.finding ur love whos in a relationship is so hurting,how can a guy just easily find a girl so easily its unacceptable

  237. I’ve been married for 8 yrs. I thought everything is perfect. I love him so dearly and didn’t even notice that he’s trying to end it until i accidentally saw a message on his phone. We are celebrating that day. We celebrate our togetherness everymonth for 8 yrs. So that night i cook for him and waited. After having our dinner i ask him to lay down first so we can rest. We are holding our phones and i ask him to check my order online. So when he showed it to me, suddenly a woman send him a message saying i love you and goodnight. I was devastated i confronted him. Then he told me he doesn’t love me anymore. I feel like bathing in an ice cold water. And i just burst into tears and our 8 yrs ended that day instantly. He didn’t even ask me to stay and work it out. He wants to be with her as soon as possible. It happened last sept 28. I feel like I’m dying in pain.

  238. My Mom didn’t Like the girl I Love she used to come to my home without my mothers notice. On several occasion my Mom caught us and ague with her. One day my Mom came too my office and said to me ” SON FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART I DON’T WANT YOU TO MARRY THAT GIRL”. Many times the girl told me ” I TRULY LOVE YOU AND WANTS TO MARRY YOU. She call me once and told me to ask my mother for a mercy for her,but mother was bold and I got disappointed and don’t even talked with mom now.Then just weeks ago someone said to me ” your girlfriend got married to someone . I’m devastated and confused,Why do these two female(Mother and Girl friend) I Love most had to Inflict such a pain to me?

  239. Nice article this is really great!!!

  240. I cannot believe that I have a broken heart, especially because I am the one who did the breaking up. Yet here I am. And the break up was over the stupidest reason… money. He was the best man I have ever been with in absolutely every way, loving kind, positive, smart, handsome, and funny. He said that he would help me with the rent and that I would be able to use extra cash as my son is in college. He was the one who pressured me to move into my place. After 3 years of living together I can count on one hand the number of times he paid me any bill money. In addition, every time he paid it was late, and if I mentioned it to him he got angry and defensive. I couldn’t stand the feeling of getting used anymore, and I asked him to leave. He repeatedly texts me that he still loves me, but it all seems hollow. I can’t trust him anymore and it has destroyed my faith in him. I feel like an idiot, and the sad thing is I still miss him, and would like to be with him. But I am not going to let him back in.

  241. I had my heart broken by a boy that I thought cared for me, what he told me made no sense because he said he did not have feelings for me when we were dating, but then yet he said he loved me and did not want to lose me. Well now he regrets it and is trying to get me back, however, I am not easy to get.

  242. I have found out 2 days before my due date that my bf had an affair for 2 months up until that day… I was devastated and in shock as didn’t see that coming. At that time I think I was more in a shock than everything else and could not believe that. 2 weeks on and finally found out the whole truth, he somehow lost the feelings for me while I was pregnant and doesn’t want me anymore. I am speechless and so heartbroken as every time I see him I feel like I want to hold and hug him, and run my fingers through his hair like I always loved to do and I know I cant. He doesn’t feel this way and he was pretending most of my pregnancy. I just can’t believe how one day you wake up and decide that you don’t love someone anymore! How cruel that is. I think I more upset about that than the whole cheating on me! It’s like someone has died and I didn’t get to say goodbye. I want my feelings to go away now ! My heart is crying from the ache!:(

    • You did your best i am sure, so forgive him and yourself, because neither are perfect. I found a few things that helps while heart-broken. Practice a sport you like, visit friends as much as you can, and most importantly, tell yourself that you deserve to be loved and focus on boosting your self-esteem. Time will mend your wounds.

    • I can feel how you are feeling Kinga. Hope it is over by now as it have happened about a month ago. Hope everything is good and went as you have expected.

  243. I have been with my husband for 17 years. We are now 35 and 36, with 5 children. Our relationship has been filled with every up and down, including distrust and infidelity. Five years ago at the height of his accusations I submitted to a lie detector and paternity test, and passed all of it. Last year I found out that he had cheated on me with my sister at the beginning of our relationship, I was and still am devastated. All of his distrust has stemmed from his own dishonesty.
    Yesterday, he told me I couldnt be what he needed and he wasnt what I need and he wanted a divorce. Of course he attempted to back peddle and apologize but I cant even stomach to look at him.

  244. We’re still together but i have this feeling that i am already losing him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know why. I am hurting and i am in deep pain because i don’t think that i deserve that kind of treatment. He’s just so immature. I feel like i am always brokenhearted. he’s so insensitive!

    • Communication is very important. Talk to him and tell him everything. Here his side and work on your relationship together.

  245. Good article. And I like the comments. I just broke up with my guy and I’m devastated. I can’t do anything, I can’t think/sleep/eat or take care of myself, I’m a wreck! I will deeply miss my best friend… I feel like half a person.

  246. After 3.5 long years of relationship I have to accept the pain of break up. I couldn’t accept what is happening around me. It is so hard to accept the reality. I keep constantly thinking of her which makes me terrible. I have believed and trusted on her so much that I would do everything thing for her. Now the truth is bitter and everything is coming to an end. She don’t want me in her life despite I tried to make-up our relation back. I tried my best but it seems I m losing her now. Please suggest me what should I do now.

    • Oh my I can totally relate!! My bf for almost 4yrs broke up with me yesterday. I gave everything to have him back but he still doesn’t want me anymore. If you say you tried to fix your relationship but still didn’t work, I guess you just have to give her the time and space she needs. Talk to your friends.. Everything happens for a reason. I know it’s going to be hard. I don’t even know how I’m going to survive this. But just take it one day at a time. It’s helpful to read other people’s stories and if they got pass through it, so will we. We have no choice but to deal with the pain and hope that eventually it will get better. Do something good for yourself.

      • Thank you for the response hope your relation have become better by now. I m still trying my best to make it up yet it seems things are get worst in the process. All she want is to end up, I m left with no option than to accept the fact of getting over. Days seem difficult to pass now m leaving the decision up to god. Hope it is happening for best thing to happen between us. I still love her so much and m not will to move on as of now.

        • Thank you for your stories. He also doesn’t want me anymore and it hurts. But yeah, Kassie is right: Talk to your friends.. Everything happens for a reason. I know it’s going to be hard. I don’t even know how I’m going to survive this. But just take it one day at a time. It’s helpful to read other people’s stories and if they got pass through it, so will we. We have no choice but to deal with the pain and hope that eventually it will get better. Do something good for yourself. Hopefully, we will all heal.

  247. My boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago. I am so mad at myself because I caved this afternoon and tried to call him (no answer) then, I texted him and sounded so pathetic and needy. I am definitely not going to contact him at all anymore. I am so scared that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I am 46 and fear there is nothing left for me, now. I can’t eat. All I want to do is sleep. I feel so alone. If anyone reads this, thank you for letting me vent.

  248. My story is pretty complex and rather long. I’ll try to give you the shorter version. My husband and I meet 10 years ago, we were both very young 21 and 23. After 2 years of dating he decides he wants to join the Navy. I support him, we decide to get married because we loved each other, and wanted to be together. Fast forward a few months he gets an unaccompanied tour to Japan. I’m left, married and alone in the states for 2 years. Seeing him only once a year. I’m faithful, and heartbroken and become severely depressed. He admits to cheating while in Japan, and we agree to work things out, and move together to his new base in Virginia. Its a difficult time for me, as my depression, trust issues, and anxiety are in full form. His time in the Navy is over, we move back home to NY. This time, he deals with depression and this difficult transition back to civilian life. We separate because he can’t handle life or me. I love in with my mother, we get back together and begin to rebuild out lives. Again he leaves me with no more than, I’m not happy. That was 2 years ago. We’ve had small little connections but every time I end up getting hurt, I put my feelings aside and just want us to be together. He says we got married to young, and I agree. But we are grown now, we are different. This latest connection has been hard, neither of us can commit to getting a divorce. He was seeing someone else, and expects me to be okay that he’s still friendly with her and me. I’m not! I feel like he owes me enough of his feelings to see if we can be together and not be distracted by someone else. Through all this time, I have become even more depressed and alone. I feel like giving up, I hate that he can do this to me. He has so much power over me and my feelings. He’s happy and I constantly suffer. He always gets what he wants. I’m not sure why I do this to myself over and over again.

  249. I can’t believe that most of the people here have felt how I’m feeling rn. My bf for almost 4yrs broke up with me yesterday. So here’s the story.. our relationship hasn’t been stable since earlier this year, I was having 2nd thoughts if he really is the one for me. I got distant, yeah he noticed it but he did not make extra effort to know what’s going on with me or how I’m acting differently. We had a huge fight and told him what I was feeling, but nothing really changed after that. I guess we just kinda got used to our situation (not acting like a couple). Then recently he broke up with me saying he cannot take it anymore, I had a week to just think about it and I realized that I cannot let him go. I have decided that he is the one for me. I love him and I am willing to do anything to make the relationship work. I’ve read that Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice. So I am choosing to love him and work on our mistakes. After a long talk, he finally agreed for a second chance. We were so happy afterwards, I told him everything why I got distant then he explained his side and we both agreed to work hard on our relationship. I couldn’t believe that I was capable of being happy with him again. I was just so happy that time and excited for what the future awaits us. But then we got into a fighr, well I was just being honest with what I’m feeling and I think he took it the wrong way. I was so hurt because we promised that we will be honest with each other and that’s what I did. I was expecting him to comfort me and give me assurance that I have nothing to worry about. But he got so defensive and I thought we were going to fix our problems bec that’s what we promised before. The next day I was waiting for a simple sorry or a hug from him but I got nothing. I confronted him and he told me that he cannot continue anymore. He doesn’t want to think of me anymore and he just wants to end the relationship. I was really hurt because we were so happy already and this fight we had was so easy to resolve. I talked to him for hours but when he was really firm that he didnt want me anymore, then I stopped pushing myself for him to accept me. I am really hurt because just when I know he is the one and I am willing to forget the mistakes from the past, he just decided right there and then that he doesn’t want me anymore. I’ve talked to my friends but I know there’s no shortcut to heal a broke heart. I’m just scared because I don’t know for how long I’m going to feel this way. I just want the pain to stop.. -K

    • I am also scared like you did. I don’t know how long will I endure this pain. Perhaps, we can try to slowly forget them and think that we deserve someone better. Someone who will love us on our worst and our best. Someone who will endure and fight for us. Someone who will not give up on us and who will understand us. I hope that like you, we will move on from this heartache and heal ourselves, in God’s grace.

  250. i dont know i still feel bad it been 9 months and it still hurts a lot i feel a big pressure in my chesk it does not go away im all the day thinking about him and this really too painful ive been trying my best but it still hurts

  251. Knowing you will heal can feel like small consolation when you ache so bad. So full of sorrow and regret. But we are resilient and I know in time I will be able to see a life without my love. Our spilt was not a bitter one which makes it even harder in the short term. But pain is a blessing. At least I know I’m fully alive and living. Much better to have loved and experienced the time with her. Thank you

    • Yes and I agree with you that it is a happier feeling to know that we are still fully alive and living.

  252. m completely falling apart I can’t do anything I cry so hard all the time my girl just ended 7years of us completely in love she was everything to me out of nowhere I don’t understand she took off and won’t text or call me she left me a letter like really I didn’t see this coming what so ever I was not prepared at all for this I’m so in love with her still she was the woman I wanted to be with forever I don’t wanna live without her I don’t know how to live without her I’m scared it hurts so badly I don’t think I can make it through this I’m freaking out inside I don’t know what to do I can’t believe this is happening why won’t she just call me and tell me straight up I don’t understand that I’m soo hurt it’s like I’m stuck in a bad dream I would of never done that to her never I’m so lost my life feels over help me god please help me

  253. Falling in love in not in your control. Falling in love is like catching a cold. you dont want to catch a cold but when it happens , it happens.

  254. It’s the end of 2017. The new year approaching fast! I feel disconnected in a sense because I have been codependent for too long. My codependency existed in the form of needing to be validated and feel worth by depending on the affections of a man to determine my worth in being loved. Sadly I allowed myself to get strund along in what would have seemed like a harmless and satisfying friends with benefits situation. Now after 2 years the rollercoaster has stopped and I’m suspended in midair upside down. I can’t let go, I can’t move one and I know that it was just for fun. but what about my heart? I thought I could handle this no strings attached vantage but it was all one big facade. I make myself available to fulfill his needs but in turn the reciprocation is not there. How have I allowed myself to become a recepticle. That’s what I feel like an object or space to contain something. I don’t know how to stop this vicious cycle of allowing myself to be used. I settle for the feeling of momentary bliss that is quickly replaced with emptiness and loneliness I feel drained. It hurts like crap but this is my doing so I will suffer through the pain,tears, depression, of shedding an old life that I wasted on someone that would never love me the way I deserved to be loved. Who am I kidding my whole life has been one big winding road of thistles and thorns in the name of lust?love? confusion. I will pick up my dignity and crawl through this in hopes to be able to walk again with my head held high and a glimmer of true joy that seems so far away.

    • I feel you too, I have been hurt 3x and I felt always used as well. And yes, we will pick up our fallen dignity and move on. Hopefully, we will heal.

  255. I recently was broken up with. It wasn’t even a long relationship so what hurts me the most is that there’s gonna be all these “what ifs”. We broke up due to circumstances but he explicitly told me there will be no later for our relationship. I thought I got a bit better but right now I’m absolutely at my worst. It feels like everyone in my life wants to give up on me.
    He’ll probably find someone else and probably already has. I know there’s fish in the sea and I’m only 20 so I have a lot of ahead of me but I truly cared about him. I just I don’t know. I felt like I could’ve been a driving force in his life but he doesn’t want me and well….nobody wants me. I just feel so depressed. I know I can find someone I’m not worried about being alone but I can’t help but feel like trash and feel like I just have no will to live.

    • I feel the same way with you however, I think that we should try to move on by ourselves. Don’t think that no one loves you, since God is always here for us. I also have that same feeling but I try to think about the wonderful comment that I saw in this post:
      Nobody is worth harming yourself over. I understand completely the feeling of just wanting to die. I’ve felt it many times throughout my life. That feeling will subside eventually. Surround yourself with people who care about you. Think about all the people who would be more heart broken than you are right now if you were gone. You may not have deserved what happen to you, but all those people that love you don’t deserve to suffer over losing you. And they are the ones that would be hurt if you were gone. Besides, you cant fix whatever happened if you’re no longer alive. I won’t say that its never as bad as it seems. That would be untrue. But no matter how bad it is, it can always be made better. That is unless you aren’t around to make it better. Talk to a professional if you’re having thoughts of suicide or anything like that. They can help you with problems like that, but only if you let them. Life is far too short to justify making it any shorter. I’ll pray for you. Just know, it will get better.
      “Defeat is a state of mind. Nobody is ever defeated until they have accepted defeat as a reality.”
      -Bruce Lee

  256. i d’nt think ill never heal from this heart break. i am so done with love. his got 5 kids with different women and i known him since we were growing up. he cheated with his baby mama n left me without a reason. i was a good woman to his and accepted his flaws and all “loved his kids like they were mine.” but he went back to the woman who doesn’t even love his kids the baby mama. i’m done with love shame

  257. I would also like to share my story. He said that his love is no longer enough for our relationship. He felt that we were incompatible and he was overwhelmed with commitment. I admit that I also had my mistakes since I became too clingy and too dependent on him. I was crying every now and then because I kept blaming myself that if I had been better, then maybe we would be still together. However, I realized that I am not the only who is in a relationship and I also deserve to be happy as well. I talked to a priest this morning and he said that it is time to forgive myself. I have loved beyond limitations and it is okay to love. He said that I should learn from the past and move on. To all those who are sharing the same heartache as I did, I know this will be hard but we will move on. Life will continue for us in God’s grace. I am still crying and missing him, thinking about him at night, but I know that I must stop and move on. I know that later on, the feelings will pass, and God has the perfect plan for us. Hugs to everyone. Hope we can all move on and heal eventually.

  258. I forgave my partner 7 years ago when I found out that he had a child with a much younger woman. He convinced me that it was a foolish mistake and that he loved ME with all of his heart. He took care of his daughter and her mother financially, and started to spend time with her as she got older. I was never allowed to be part of that relationship, although I was willing. Now there is a second child (a son) with the same woman. I am trying so hard to do all the things that I should to get him out of my mind and life. The hurt and shock is so great–it’s so hard to believe. We had it so good in so many ways. I want to understand, but when I ask the questions, he cannot explain–it all sounds like more lies. So I’ve removed myself geographically from him for a month and thought that would help. I still cannot accept the fact that it’s over!! What’s wrong with me?

  259. I was in a 2 1/2 year relationship with a guy I loved. He broke up with me, moved out and I found out that he had been unfaithful for an entire year. I was so broken and hurt. I couldnt eat, couldnt sleep and didnt cope to well with my breakup but God is so good you guys!! Trust in him and believe in him and he will mend your broken heart! Trust me when I tell you this!!! Seek God, pray and worship him and he will give you peace that surpasses all understanding. I wouldnt have made it with Jesus! I was contemplating suicide but now I know that I am worth it! I’m beautiful and I am wonderfully made and so are you all!! God will send the right person that’s just for you! Keep P.U.S.Hing (Praying Until Something Happens)

  260. I broke up with my girlfriend that lasted two years. I found out she was seeing another guy. I tried to confront her in stupid ways but she just got pissed and now hates me. I can’t stop thinking about her. I get horrible anxiety just thinking about her with someone else. Idk what to do

    • Just be cool bro. Everything will fall into place. It’s just matter of time. Time heals everything. Stay close to your family and friends. Trust God, surely he will have better plan for you. I have also experienced such things and I know how it’s feels to be heart broken. Always take care my friend and don’t get lost yourself because of someone who don’t deserve you.

  261. Heart broken

  262. so, me and my boyfriend for 2 yrs at the time broke up almost six month a go, my pain doesn’t get better, it actually getting worst, i don’t know what to do i can’t live like thia anymore 80% of my day is about that pain

  263. I feel stupid writing this because it has been over a year since he moved out and I still think of him a lot. He bought a house and have his girlfriend now move in. There’s no hope for us to get back together.

  264. After seeing this – feel a little better. He was a player. I only saw the good. As long as you had something to benefit him you were in his life. After he didn’t need told how he put them literally on front door step abandoned. Found that out after the fact. I was angry he wasted a year. Relocated me and my son. Changed face once I had nothing of “his use” . I stood up- told truth and left. I’ve gone threw many of these stages- even nightmares… Crying a month. Now just kinda neutral. Not wanting to date and feeling like I’m very odd in way I see the world. That was a lesson. Whew

  265. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d05bb2d9cd6b87978b49e1b584ba4a118b597c5bcb0b24af515e5949c07c2ce2.jpg I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one feeling this pain of a broken heart. I was in a 8+ years relationship and all the sudden after I had cervical spine surgery he started to distance himself and only wanting to see me when he wanted sex. He also stopped wanting me to go to his house. Then a year ago I had enough and told him that I wasn’t his “pin cushion” to go to his hunting friends and the gym crowd if he wasn’t going to spend time with me as he used to and to keep on fixing his neighbors wife car. He hasn’t talk to me since. I know I should feel fine but the not knowing what or who had brought him to that point has made me unconsciously isolate myself from the world as well as angry. I’m afraid of getting more hurt than I am. I wish he could tell me what happened that our beautiful relationship ended that way. With him becoming distant and using me as his personal toy to the point that I had to walk away.
    I’ve been told to let go, there are more fish in the ocean etc etc but it is easier said than done.
    One thing I do know Mr. Right is somewhere but we cannot cross path because I’m so broken that I cannot see pass the hurt. I’m also sure that time heals all wounds and Mr. Right for me will come at the right time.
    Disappearing from the face of the earth is not the solution because it is within me. that solution is taking it one day at the time and figuring out how to turn anger into joy. How enjoy those who love me once again and putting my own words into practice.

  266. I am so lonely, hurt, lost and too old for this pain. I met a former high school lover last Jan and everything seemed to finally be perfect for me. All the lines, I adore you, I should of always been with you, you are perfect for me, and I will be with you until I die Then, last week his dog died while he was at work. Eleven years old, diabetic 3 shots a day, staph infections and he started getting down and couldn’t even get up. So, three days later he leaves me while I am at hospital with a dying niece! Text only after I texted to say when are you coming home from watching games with your dad was, “I’m not! I’m leaving you”. The pain is so bad I curl into fetal position and tears rack my body. Not fun at 62! All alone again. Part of me just wants to end it all.

  267. It’s natural for us to be human and feel the pain, but what if someone has never felt happiness in love and has always been experiencing heart break every time they fall in love? Isn’t that too sad for someone to keep feeling the pain without a break? Give me a break :'(

  268. I have just recently had a break up after eight years and it is the worst feeling I have ever had.I was married for thirty seven years and then I was divorced and that was ok.
    Then I met the woman of my dreams and fell madly in love with her, but for those years all she wanted to do was control me and change me into her deceased husband,live in his house ,sleep in his bed on his side and even though we had separate bank accounts control my spending of which she lived with me at no cost to her.
    After these years I told her we were just not getting it and she needed to leave,now my heart is broken and I know trying to get her back is the wrong thing to do and I fight myself every day not to make that call and I haven’t, but God does it hurt.
    She would accuse me of being interested in other women young and old and it never happened.

  269. Im,48 and years old. I have always been left. My husband cheated on me a year ago. I started a new job and met a guy going through a lot of the same thing. We started seeing each other. We’ve been together for 9 months. Last night he broke my heart . He said he gave his heart to his wife 8 months ago and that he loves her. There is no affection in his marriage no sex no nothing. We have a,strong bond. I don’t know what to do . He’s the one for me I love him so much. I don’t want to live without him. Why can’t he love me. Whats,wrong with me that no one can love me. My life is over

    • Diane- I am so sorry that you are going through this- my post is very similar (struggling) It is extremely hard when we put ourselves out there (at our age- let’s admit it) and give it a shot again, trust, and really give our heart…. I am right there with you as the same thing happened to me 9 days ago (but who’s counting) and every day is a struggle not to text or reach out. the point is you are WORTH more and that may not seem like much now- but it is true & you need to believe it to continue to move on

  270. This is my first time posting to any type of site like this. I am one week in and in a world of hurt. I was (faithfully) married for 16 years, but our relationship began to become more like a roommate situation and had been for years. I am mid 40s, have a strong (stressful) career, and was the breadwinner in my home. I have several male friends but have never had intent to cheat. However, when I changed jobs just over a year ago the one male friend that I used to work with- and I always knew would win my heart if he tried did just that & before long we were in a full blown affair. He was married, unhappily, as well.
    He was very pursuant and we had a deep connection that neither of us had ever experienced before, nor do I think we will again. He would stop mid sentence just to tell me he loved me. We are also both very affectionate and this, along with all of the other allures & similiarties drew us together in a way that I can’t explain. Everyone feels that ‘they are the one’ at some point in their life and this was it for both him, and me. Within 2 months he told his wife he wanted a divorce and
    moved out of his very nice suburban home (with a wife and 3 kids) into an apartment. We kept our relationship a secret as I knew his wife and the night we first got together she was suspicious of him getting home so late- so we knew that she would put 2+2 together.
    We spent hours talking through our situations, giving each other advice, and of course physically bonding whenever possible. I felt like a teenager again & this was crazy behavior but we had our plans to do things ‘right’ (which is completely not what we were doing) and leave our marriages before spending a year in separate apartments & then getting a house together. He talked about marriage all the time and I was coy & pretended not to be interested.
    It was my turn next, but alas, I was caught 6 months in before I could extricate myself from my marriage and both my 10 year old daughter and my then husband found out and this went very poorly. My husband bugged my car and heard all of my conversations, as well as other things. My lover was there for me, listening to every word & again we were sharing out pain, but also bonding closer than ever. We talked endlessly about our situations and were very supportive for each other. He even called me the ‘love of his life’. I was his, hook, line, and sinker.
    Ending my 20 year relationship, 16 year marriage was not going to be easy. My lover and I were both in situations where we were breadwinners and our respective spouses didn’t want our divorces, they were not going to let us go off the hook easily.
    My lover’s divorce was not going smoothly, and to make matters worse his oldest child has behavioral/emotional issued that were not helping. His ex texts him endlessly telling him that every problem her or the kids have is his fault for leaving them. As this continued my resource pool of resources to talk to diminished as my parents and one key friend deemed themselves not ready to help with my emotional fragility. The only other 2 close friends I had one lived hours away (and was busy with a small child) and one was a colleague that took another job and left, so I did not see her daily as I used to. Also, my counselor took a new job through all of this so I didn’t even have that.
    I became more dependent on my lover, and unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcohol in the form of drinking until I blacked out and also taking a few spills that ended up once with a black eye and once with a badly sprained wrist. It was not my proudest moment in time. My lover talked to me about the drinking, but I felt the need to continue the coping mechanism. We currently could only see each other a few times on week nights when he was at his apartment, but I still had to make excuses to my daughter – who knew I was lying. I would then have a few beers at his place to displace the guilt. Early on, we would take a few hours off of work during the week to spend time together, but as our jobs became ever more demanding we couldn’t do this anymore, and it contributed to his stress with being completely overwhelmed at work which time off did not help with.
    During this time both my lover and I had steep declines in our career. He so much to the point of not being sure he would have a job or be downsized day by day. I also had more stress added to my plate with a promotion that ultimately just stressed me out more. However, we were both primary breadwinners (both of our spouses worked part-time – his less than mine).
    I finally got my plan in order and signed a lease for an apartment and then the rumination about how to tell my spouse (we had filed by this time) and daughter that I was moving out. My behavior became even more dependent on my lover as I would have things happen at home and then when I was out call him when we had his kids and beg him to come and get me. Of course he could not, so I would then try to ‘break it off with him’ in my inebriated state over the phone and he would beg me not to.
    The stressors the last 2 weeks circled around my telling my family that I was moving into an apartment and his struggles with his son, and even though I couldn’t see it then…. the struggles with keeping “us” going amongst all the chaos. As time went on he became more and more worried about what his (soon to be) ex would do when she found out about me & also how this would impact his children.
    2 weeks ago he asked me to go to Madison with him for Easter to meet his father, but I couldn’t because of my daughter, and I had also just recently been introduced to his circle of friends with him asking them to swear secrecy for the time being. We had a lot of fun together and I felt good that even though he had told his family about me, he wanted me to meet them. I had sent his mom a X-mas gift and she wrote me a nice letter back.
    The guilt was becoming overwhelming for him with respect to his kids & the fear of how things were going to roll when they found out about me. I, on the other hand, had been caught and was living in a hell house of my own making. I would go from the stressful work environment to a house where the other 2 occupants at the very least hated me.
    Last weekend he had an incident with his oldest calling him on Fri. night wanting him to come and pick the 16 year old up. We had been planning to spend the entire weekend together as my daughter was out of town, but I was completely understanding & told him he needed to be with his child. We then spent Sat. night together with his friends, out having a great time. That night when we got back to his apartment he dropped the bomb that he just couldn’t do this anymore and the guilt with feeling as though he is not there for his kids was overcoming him. He was BREAKING UP WITH ME!
    I got bucky with him, gathered my stuff, gave him his key back, and went home to my hell house. I was not convinced we were done – and was shocked on Sun. when he was sticking to his story. I proceeded to take sleeping tabs and sleep the day away. I then asked to meet him on Monday & he said that he had an hour. I missed work on Monday as I was so distraught I didn’t know what to do with myself. I then again took a few sleeping pills and headed out to meet him at a bar we often went to & have a few beers. I remember very little of the conversation- except for the fact that I know I fell on the way out of the building (again not pretty). I then texted him reaming him out for leaving me this way.
    Needless to say- we are not reunited and he is dropping my ‘stuff’ off in my vehicle tomorrow (at my request – it was an excuse to text him). So, I now have an apartment – a completely angry family- and this happens 4 days before I am supposed to move in….. he doesn’t care. When he answered my request to dorp my stuff off I shared with him how bad I was struggling with this (not a smart move, I know) and his reponse was curt and hardened explaining that he just couldn’t do it- he needed to simplify his life and he can’t be in a relationship right now. This is the same person that one short week ago called me the love of his life and told me that he could not have made it through this without me…
    I have very limited resource/friends to outpour my emotions to, and despite having my apartment (I am taking my daughter to see it tomorrow & she is doing ok) I haven’t completely moved in yet. So, I have been dumped and am moving and cementing in the ending of my marriage all within 2 weeks. I had my first full on panic attack today and am seriously worried how I am going to get through this without my lover’s support, not to mention the life plans we had made together. I am having a hard time getting things done at work and at this point would love nothing more than to crawl into bed and not leave for a week.

  271. My gf broke up with me 18 days ago, and I am a shy person to go tell anyone about how I feel. I can’t sleep, I can’t stop thinking of her. And I can’t do anything I lost the will to go training or playing games or do anything other then go to work and lay down on my bed and think about her while listening to a sad songs. I just feel worse and hurt, I feel like I can’t love someone else like I don’t have room for other girl. I just can’t believe how much I loved her I was so faithful to her and why I still love her and I why I can’t get her out of my head. I hate my self for loving her so much that I cry when I remember her and I blame my self even when I’m not wrong. She’s my moon and I don’t see the moon out tonight and it just makes me feel sad.

    • I read your post I am going thru the same thing – but I instituted no contact almost immediately and it is hard to do but it really helps in less than a week I’m already feeling better and can see how bad the relationship was and don’t want her anymore – time will heal your hurt you just have to keep busy, go for walks, don’t think about it and don’t contact her or respond to her texts or calls and I can assure you it will get better and she will miss you – you nrver know what you lost until it’s gone and she will regret this for the rest of her life same way in my case – as I see it her loss not mine

  272. Never give up everyone….life goes on.Hang in there with God both hands and feet and a whole heart.Prayers on your way!Been there-done that-I AM HERE TO STAY STRONG!

  273. People go with the answers they hear other people say, instead of what the Bible actually says. The Bible says hate what is evil and love what is good. People are evil. No one is good buy God alone. Love God and any Good People who God has miraculously transformed from evil to good. Hate Evil People, which is typically everyone you will meet.

  274. My bf and I broke up in may… he was practically homeless when I met him and I didn’t know at first but I grew to like and love him and I moved him and his children into my home… I took care of them, provided everything… he barely made much because so he couldnt reallybhelpmout buy I took him in anyway… I bought him
    Clothes, shoes, changed everything about him including his hair, praying everyday that he would get a better job and be able to help me help him and his children in the process. Helped him get in school, helped his kids have their first Christmas, showed them how to cook, got their first hair styled professionally… I did everything because I loved him so much I loved his children… then boom. I helped him get a better job, and he left me.he picked an argument with me one day right before he got his check and .. he packed up himself and his kids and he said, I don’t need you and I don’t have to be here… I’ve been in a depression every since… I’ve dropped 27 pounds… I can’t function or eat. I’m
    I was So in love with a man… I let him use me and once he came up he left. And he don’t even care. I cry every day, every night, every time I think of him… I don’t know how to cope and I feel numb.

    • Time will come and you will be healed

    • Awwww

      • I can feel your brokenness dear. I wish I could help you through your tough times. Please take it very easy on yourself love. You deserve better than a person like him. Much love and hugs from here

    • Kay, I totally understand, I can’t even begin to tell my story. For 3 yrs I let a man use me and take every thing I had to me being homeless and sleeping in my car & then he left me AND started cheating on me again. If you ONLY knew my story! 😢

  275. I have been involved with this guy almost 2 years. He would never fully commit and only contacted me at his convenience. We recently had dinner together and another guy I just met called. My old guy saw the call, went thru my phone and the whole night was a disaster. I feel like I have a right to move on with someone else and the other guys should respect that since he is unwilling to commit. However, there’s a part of me that feels guilty about having reached out for attention from someone else. I’m doing better after a week of feeling miserable. I think I just need some words of wisdom or a great big hug!

  276. My husband of 18 years has had 7 year affair with a girl twice his junior…He is a bit older than me too but they have had two children together which I have been forced to raise at the moment however so found out they are continuing their affair….how do I move on and heal from this? My heart is broken…..

  277. I just broke up with my long distance boyfriend and i feel like i am going to die. He’s equally hurt but i did it for the best. I dont have my freedom to go out so we never see only chat online and he feels i am breaking up with him because i think we cant last but that really isnt the case. i just feel he should get the chance to enjoy his freedom till i get mine.

  278. I feel broken hearted, I can’t understand myself I’ve never loved anyone more than I love this guy…. I made myself believe what we have is going to be forever… But one thing I know is I can never be a whole without him…. I want to give up my life cause it’s not worth living…

    • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • I had mine on de 21st September of dis year n am dieing…am still in shock actually n I keep thinking it’s a bad dream which I can wake up from but 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️Am jux helpless n dieing

  279. I met my boyfriend 5 yrs ago. He did have a job, a car,not even a credit card and was living with his sister in law. I didn’t rely on him for any financial support because I was making my own money. When I met him, he told me that he has not dating or been with anyone for a year. Still not sure if I believe that or not. Against all odds, I fell in love with him. Three yrs into the relationship, we decided to pick up and move to another state. We did that a year ago. Lately there has been several signs that there’s someone else in his life. He is a very secretive person and does not tell me much. We used to do everything together and now he doesn’t want to do anything with me anymore. He makes his own plans that does not include me. He’s gone for a while on Saturdays. The confusing thing is, is that he still treats me the way he did when we first met. He is constantly telling me how much he loves me, he always compliment me on my looks, he always want to hold me, and the sex hasn’t changed. I asked him the other day has he ever loved two women at the same time? He said no of course. It hurts my heart to no end knowing that he is treating some other female the same way he treats me. I have been crying for almost a month now because even though I haven’t seen him, I see the signs that there is someone else. I pray, I cry, I pray, I cry because it does hurt, a lot and this is my first time feeling heartache. I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy.

  280. Does breaking up with her makes me a bad person? Her 18th birthday is near, We broke up, I am too selfish. All she asks is quality time for each other but when we have the chance, we do nothing but argue. I Love her, and I really miss her, She’s with another man right now. I lost my Lady and It’s all my fault, Do I need to wait for her or moved on with my life?

  281. I’ve read many of these comments and can most assuredly relate. Ah , young love , the innocence , the absolute trust , the utter devastation of heartbreak.. 37 years ago I was married with 2 children . My wife of 4 years got into an affair. I saw the signs , friends would hint , but I wouldn’t believe. Then I caught them. My wife and I talked afterwards. She wouldn’t agree to counseling , nor any attempt to fix things. She continued her affair for another month , I caught her again. The affair hurt , but the second betrayal told me she didn’t care about me or our kids at all. I was dirt. But she didn’t leave , very confusing. I helped her decide and told her to hit the road. She did. And although , at that time , I wasn’t sure I did the right thing , I still loved her. But you realize after a time that your efforts and emotions are being totally wasted on something not worth your time or energy. You acquire indifference , and with that , freedom. You , the brokenhearted , are a wonderful person , worthy of love. You are of immense value to someone you haven’t even met yet. Do NOT sell yourself short. Our divorce was 18 months later. By then , I was pretty much over it. I knew what she was and I didn’t even like her let alone love her. In the hall of the courthouse afterwords I spoke with her. I took her hand , looked into her eyes , smiled , and told her “Have a wonderful life”. I turned , walked away and never looked back. I moved on. Eight months later I was blessed. I met a woman who was the polar opposite of my ex. Kind , attentive , caring , honest , giving . Having found this lady was divine guidance , I have no other explanation. But more to the point , this what you must come to grips with. Do you think you still love this person , or the idealized version of who they were. That person is different now. You are different now. Pain is a great teacher. You are smarter now. More cognizant of what really matters to you whether you realize it or not. You are stronger. Force yourself to pick yourself up get out there and live again. Be patient , it will come. Enjoy your life , refuse to wallow in the past of what was. Life is short , don’t waste it on the unworthy.
    I’m sorry , but this is the honest truth. That pain will NEVER leave you. You will take it to your grave. But learning to live with it and to overcome it is another part of life and you will succeed and learn from it.
    I’ve been married now to my second wife for 35 years and I couldn’t be happier. No regrets , nothing to be sorry for.

    • addendum: My ex wifes lover left her for another 3 years later….poetic justice?

    • Power to you!
      This is exactly what i needed to hear right now. 37 years old never been in love, broke up 3 months ago and lost my first true love

    • Amen 🙏
      Thank you for your testimony.
      G

  282. Yor words were inspirational and give me hope. I know that my “relationship” would never work and that she was so unwillingly to tell me anything about her life; accused me of being controlling and insecure. To a degree she is correct. After I discovered she was cheating I did become more possesive….it’s not so much that I want her back as it is I want her to feel my pain. That is very unhealthy and I will delete all contact options with her and stop talking with her. Funny thing is, I had been through all of this and left her 2 years ago and was doing okay until she asked to come back. She was still the same dishonest person who kept many secrets from me…….no relationship will succeed if you don’t share your life. I am in emotional pain right now, knowing that I can’t be with her but I also realize part of that is not wanting to be alone. Time will heal my pain.

    • I’m going through the exact same thing , it’s so messed up I feel like no matter how bad she hurt me I still want her in my life , this is definitely the worst feeling I have ever had in my life and it’s interfering with me being able to do normal things like work and keep busy because I feel so awful all the time

      • I’m going through the same thing right now. 3 kids and 14 years later. Now I have to get a paternity test to make sure my children are mine. It’s terrible, and the fact I still love her hurts me deeply as well. Good luck with everything you guys, I don’t know you but I wish you the best…

      • That’s the same way I feel.They hurt you so bad but yet we still want to love them even though they did us wrong.I just pray I find the strength to get through this

  283. I really needed to read this article. The comments helped me to see that I’m not alone in my heart break. Thank you

  284. I can’t even begin to tell my story. I let this man use me for 3yrs, I did EVERYTHING for him while he just used, lied, cheated and hurt me for 3yrs to the point of me and my children being homeless and sleeping in the car & then he just left me and started dealing with another female who uses drugs. I feel like the stupidest woman in the world, just trying to keep it all together when yet I just want to scream and hurt him.

  285. I have been married for 14years with the man I knew I eanted to spend my life with. I was with him and accepted the fact that he is not perfect. He did drugs for 4 years (i am not sure if its accurate) However, he wanted to change so badly and wanted to be far from all his friends who can easily influence him. So when he decided that he will move to a different City. I supported him. I bought him a comfortable bed since his only laying down in a wooden bed. I bought him pillow to make sure he is going to have a good rest after work. Eventually, I sensed it and because I strongly believe and have strong faith that he will never cheat on me, i didnt trust my instinct. Come January of 2017, my instinct got is really pushing me to pay him a visit. I didn’t see anything but I felt like his pushing me away but at the same time still felt that strong love he had for me. On the 3rd birthday of my youngest daughter, I received a call from a woman. She was 9 months pregnant. 😭😭😭 more than a year has passed, it still feel like it happened yesterday.

  286. i’m a thirteen years old girl.
    so at school there’s this not exactly new guy( he was at school but then left then came back) we kept on making eye contact , my friends told me he smiled at me when i wasn’t looking and i felt for the first time as if i had a motivation in life as if sooner or later i’m gonna have my first kiss and my first boyfriend my first true love and that sounded so F#CKING EXCITINGGG i fell in love with him like i never fell in love before . i didn’t know what love was before falling for him i thought of myself as a fat spoiled nerdy bitch and that no guy would ever love me . i guess i fell in love with the new guy. i called my friend and asked him for his number because she was in his class group on what’s up . so i texted him a hi and make him think i think he was an other person, i then told him i was sorry and that i thought he was a friend he replied that it was okay and then blocked me.
    i cried and i still cry i went mad an i still am mad , this happened an hour ago i’m depressed now and scared of whatever awaits me monday at school.
    to whoever is reading this , i hope you’ll never feel whatever i’m feeling right now , because i don’t know what to think or do and now i’m just crying in my bed watching netflix regetting the moment i ever laid my eyes on him.
    don’t let yourself be fooled by love , be better find true love.

  287. This is where I am right now. Nothing seems to feel okay. It’s been a few weeks but after all the tears phase I’m back to shaking with anger . We dated for a year and this is not my first heartbreak yet it does hurt deeper. He cheated, had the guts to run a parallel relationship. There were hints and looking back now , I don’t understand just how stupid I was to trust him . He’s was good with his lies. I don’t know if I can ever recover from it. I tried fixing things mostly because I was scared of being alone especially at a time in my life I had a lot going on but then he couldn’t bring himself to apologise and act like it.
    I crave for the day I’ll be completely okay and happy again .

    • I’m going through the same thing I move out Friday. I still have to see him, I he is seeing someone else. I just have to keep in mind, he’s no prize. It’s hard because in some sick way I still want to love him. He is nothing but trouble. I tell myself every minute that it’s not me, I don’t sleep I don’t eat, I just want to cry all day. And he isn’t even fazed by it. We were together 6 yrs for me 5 yrs too long. I just want the pain to stop.

  288. Thank you for these article,, i needed it… i lost my boyfriend 8 months ago but i still feels like it happens yesterday…. i can’t move on. I feel that everything stops in that moment, many memories flashback itself in my mind and i cant control it. i even stop praying. Everything stops for me, i don’t have stamina, everyday i feel like I’m dying, but one day i heard about ‘time heals’ and im curious about it so i went through many related article and this is one of it obviously……. now finally i can share my story…. Thank you

    • Lesley, We thank you for your kind words and are glad to hear you have got to this point with your heartbreak that you can now share your story. Stay strong!

  289. I had a crush for the first time in 13 years! I left myself vulnerable and took in all his flirting. He made me a music playlist, invited me to his favorite bands concert, demanded my attention, and then told me he was moving away. I friended him on facebook to keep in touch and found out he’s been dating someone for months! I’m so hurt. I haven’t felt this way for someone in a long time. I work with him and now he doesn’t come in, instead works from home. I feel like everyone knows something I don’t when they talk with him over the phone. My heart is breaking and I don’t really have friends to talk to about it.
    I’m in my 40’s and feeling really pitiful.

    • My situation is similar to yours. It hurts to feel feel foolish. No one likes feeling discarded. I’m sorry.

    • Meghan , you are stronger than you think , don’t let this stop you from living life to it’s fullest. You are 40 , you still have plenty of time. And don’t be afraid to step up and be a bit of a flirt is you see something you like. Take the initiative. Work out , exercise , just don’t let this pull you down , life is too short. Stand tall , brush yourself off and get back on that horse. LIVE!

  290. Thank you guys for sharing your stories! They really help …and each story I felt deeply..I wish you all well, peace and happiness:)

  291. Thank you all for sharing your pain. It’s been a week since he left me. We loved each other like crazy and he lived in another country and moved to mine very quickly. I have a son and when he came to live with us he said that the only thing he wanted was to make us happy and help us. Even today he still says that but… his family had a big influence on him. His mom was crying all the time and making him feel bad for not being there for her (father died 4 years ago and she is depressive even if she dates another guy but talks shit about him on his back). Also his sport was fishing, so he needed lots of weekends, or holidays to go fish and share it all with friends on Facebook. The fishing was a great discovery in my life and I felt like I was living again and I did it with him as well as my son. But with time actually it was all about having to adapt to him because he moved and he had done so much for us that I should accept everything. Even while fishing he would get angry because we were not fishing right and breaking the lines! He started becoming violent when I would complain for example about him always on his phone when I just arrived home from work and needed a word with him while cooking dinner (which in the beginning we did). Anyway, we were fighting every 3 days, but then reconciling and our love and sex was just magical. But last week, after another fight and seeing me crying he said he had enough. Left me over the phone when I just arrived at work in the morning and took all his stuff in 2 days and never came back. Until yesterday he was always calling and sending voice messages or texts to say that he is so sorry that I was the one for him that he will always love me but the life we had he couldn’t make it. And he says that if I would be wiling to move to his country we could be happy and he would give me everything I need. Nope. I have a good job, a son, just bought a house and I still have self respect. So we spoke over the phone and said goodbye over the phone (he told me he would never take out our engagement ring and that he would always be there for me and hopes I’ll change my mind). He can stay with his mommy and friends, Facebook friends and fish. I love him like I never did I am in deep pain and I regret so many stuff but I know I need to move on, and hope one day I will be able to not think about him every hour of the day and forgetting all the memories that are all around me. I am so lost right now but it does help to talk to people and also read about others feelings. But we need to always stay true to ourselves. Good luck to all broken hearts, we will fix them!

  292. I’m married 2x to a man I love more than any other love in my life and I question my own self worth right now at what point do u have to move on the thaught of not having him in my life weighs me down VERY much so much it’s got me sick I would have forgiven all but new things got me befuddled I qiestion all I had value on😓

  293. She left me for a richer guy. Should I block her on social media? Seeing her updates affects me seriously.

  294. I’m in love with woman , not ordinary woman. She is so kind. She reads my inside thoughts from distance. Telepatic. But my parents totally against. Mom announced war. She blocked me now. Don’t know what to do.

  295. Am really broken hearted and I really need an advice. I was in a relationship for quite awhile, my parents and friends knew of it we were moving on fine. Unfortunately, things started to change within two weeks my boyfriend’s attitude change totally….
    It got my attention till I started digging out the problems. My best friend invited my for dinner after class, while lecturing she decided to make this open confession
    She told me how my boyfriend made a proposal to her, and they have been meeting servals times he even warned her not to tell me anything, but been as a gud friend she couldn’t keep it to herself so she decided to tell me
    Please what should be my decision????
    Am brokenhearted and don’t know where to start not end.

  296. hello, im looking to your situation for advice. just like the rest of the guys and girls who commented, i too am dealing with the same situation. i proposed to my ex at age 21. its now 4 years later and after (3 years of being broken up) (1 year of no communication) i was hoping my mind would be fully made up as to wether or not im still in love love with her. our lines of commnuication have recently opened back up and long story short i miss her but still feel hurt. (i feel rediculous for still feeling this way)
    Were there signs of cheating before you two had kids?

  297. I was crying,after reading this i believe I will heal,love hurts but we still have to give it a try,we should never stop loving.thanks for sharing your experiences

    • If only there was a magical pill to get over a heart break. I would take the pill in a heartbeat.
      I thought I met the love of my life. Within a year after meeting he proposed. All was great at least I thought so. I came home from work the other day and find all his stuff gone. He called me to tell me that he doesn’t think this will work long term and he’d made up his mind and there’s nothing I can do and say to change it.
      And just like that he is gone. We were engaged barely 3 months. Never knew he wasn’t happy. He never mentioned anything to me. I was completely blindsided.
      I feel like my life is falling apart. I already miss two days of work.

  298. I just recently got out of a serious relationship and I feel totally heartbroken I don’t know how to heal. I recently found out that he has been seeing someone new only a couple days after we split up. I thought I was healing and feeling better then I found out that he was seeing someone new. Now I’m not sure what to do all I can do is cry and feel terrible about myself. I need advice on how to move on completely.

    • How long was your relationship with him? is it possible he was fall out of love and fall to someone else??

  299. Me and my partner had been together for almost two months but now we bearly keep in touch, we’re like a broken couple now. She just don’t seem to be open up to me and tell me the truth. I don’t know if I could trust her like that. I really love her and I want us to get along pretty well. But in this situation I don’t know how, please help.

  300. Thank u for this! I can’t seem to get over a man who I thought was a man! He left me with no answer and I have been broken from this. He continues to ignore my texts and calls! All I want is an answer! My heart is hurting and I can’t get rid of the feelings in my stomach! I’m so broken! 😢

  301. Can you help me guys? My girlfriend and I had a 6 years relationship, She is so dependent to me wherein she dont need to work to help me out in our future. Then I realize that I am the who keep on giving effort on our relationship then realize im falling out of love with her.
    I want to break-up with her but it holds my feelings that the people surrounds us especially our families are attach to each others. What should I do?

    • dont do it*

    • Be honest with her. Be gentle. It won’t be easy, but in the long run it’ll be better for both of you. You may end up resenting her if you stay. If you don’t already.

    • run dude they don’t care whet you have given they care more about what more they can get.

  302. I’m in a similar situation, and it hurts so badly. My life has crushed into pieces….

    • I am too. Life feels grey, but I know better days are ahead. I just have to push through the pain. You can do it too, Cate. I know it hurts so much now. I feel rejected, unloved, wondering if I’ll ever find anyone who will love me for me and forever, but I also count my blessings and I know God is right here beside me. But OMGOSH, it hurts so much! I’m sending you cyber hugs, Cate. Stay strong!

      • I will and for all of us to overcome this this is such a nice words i will pray for all of us to overcome this

  303. i been broken-hearted for about 7 days, 12 hours and 48 minutes..
    my relationship ended badly it felt so unreal, like it just ended then and there..
    a few days ago i felt like i was healing and just then he started saying that im hurting him even though we broke up, once again im blamed for everything.
    i asked him how and why
    he said because i was hugging a boy who was MY friend..
    then he said really hurtful and rude things to me, and now im back to square one feeling pathetic and used.
    im feeling worse and worse each day, and i dont know what to do anymore..
    if anyone is about to do something special for their man dont.
    relationships suck and sooner or later or if and when the relationship dies and the flames burn out just ask yourself what are you gonna do?
    i used to be confident and friendly and happy..
    now im not myself anymore i isolate myself from anything good..
    because when i make connections with people now all i think of now is “when will it be their time to leave me”

    • I understand your pain. I have been in a relationship for quite a while & it just ended very badly. I had asked my now ex to marry me in a very lengthy text message. His reply was a thumbs up & then he blocked me. At that point in time, I felt so utterly useless. I admit that he did break my heart but it was partly my fault or at least that’s what he says. Time is supposed to heal all wounds but in all honesty time does nothing but make you hurt more. I have so much time to sit around & think that I just go insane. This guy has done nothing but hurt me repeatedly & the sad thing is that I keep going back to him. Yeah it hurts but my mind always tells me maybe he’s changed. When in reality he’s still the same insecure immature guy that he always had been. To be honest it never gets better. I have always thought that the reason things ended so badly was because of me & my insecurities but it was him. He was the reason it ended. He made me feel so low & so worthless that I contemplated suicide. No matter what anyone did or said I was always gonna think of my self as a P.O.S. all because of a guy. Wow. I can’t believe I let myself get to that point. It’s scary.
      The pain will still be there whether it’s a day or a year or even 10 years from now. The thing is it’s how you deal with it & whether you let it eat away at you or you let it become your inspiration to go on. Yes there will always be a place in my heart for my ex but if I keep dwelling in the past & how he treated me then I will never be able to look forward to the future. & I can already tell that my future is bright! I’m slowly healing.

      • You asked him to marry you in a text? No offense, and I feel your pain, but that just seems like the wrong way to propose to someone. Maybe that has something to do with his reaction.

      • I’ve had my heart broken before…been here, done that. I just had it broken again a few days ago. It makes you wonder if you’re worthy of anyone. But then, I sit here and think I need to breathe, deep cleansing breaths, and when I start thinking of the pain, I have to stop myself. It is soooo hard, I know how you feel. But write things down, write emails to him…BUT DON’T send them. The writing itself is a healing process. Heal yourself from the inside out, love yourself, know you are a fabulous person, own that! Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself.

  304. I was in a 15 year relationship she left me with no closer came home she was gone I’m very broken over this need to heal

  305. I have been in an on again off again relationship for the past 2 and a half years. This guy means the absolute world to me. He is mentally abusive and cusses at me a lot. I can’t help but think its my fault. What should I do?

    • Leave him no one deserves to be abused ur worth is more and if he can’t settle with u after 2 and a half years he never will u deserve better he doesn’t appreciate you and will put everyone above you and in the end break ur heart, everyone deserves to be respected by there partner, find a partner who will love and respect you for you

    • Leave! You at worth so much more than that! It will hurt, cut all contact with him block him from everywhere, social media, text, calls, email. EVERYTHING. I was in a similar situation, and before I had him block me from everything I told him every single thing I had to say to him, the good, doubts, the bad, everything it helps with closure and I saw he had no good answers, he swears he loves me and says I was to much, that I would fight and jealousy, but the thing is we could never comunícate and when I tried to address issues in our relationship he would always get mad cuss at me and blame me, and say that he couldn’t make me happy, when in reality he did but all the things that happen I couldn’t address them, things never changed, and they never do. It was really toxic, and he will never change, and you deserve so much more, someone who will work with you, who will be proud and happy te be at your side support you and work things out not just get mad and cuss you out and say they don’t want to see you for that day that they look for you when they feel like it. So leave, cry, scream, feel your feelings, have zero contact don’t fall for him cause he will not change, maybe for a while but he will do the same as before. Love yourself and with time you will see how you faded into him and lost yourself, and you will be happy because you will see your worth and resilience, and strive to feel indifferent towards him. Don’t obsess over the next girl cause 95% the same will happen to her, he will destroy her, just like he did you. So leave, go to therapy, no contact, erase everything btwn you guys pictures text, all the gifts and his things put in a box and drop off at a friends and tell them not to give it to you for 2 years, no matter how mucho you beg for them back. The right guy will come, just focus on you and be happy and happiness come from no where else but you.

  306. I’m Patricia, my guy was cheating seriously and seems not to care about my feelings so I broke up with him, but right now am hurt,i can’t even concentrate nor eat, I want my wound to heal fast and be a happy lady as I was at first,.please help me to recover am diying slowly.

  307. I’m broken also .. Started yesterday .. Never felt like this before … Never thought such a thing will happen to me .. It was going on well till I realized she had another love … I was soo deep into her but I’m trying to let go .. But it keeps bouncing back ,💔

    • Prayers up. Same feelings, PLEASE pray for me.

    • I know how you feel. I lost my dad,my boyfriend didn’t care to even say sorry,went ahead and cheated in the mist of it then told me to my face to go to hell.
      so you see,everyone is hurt but you have to be strong. the Bible says David encouraged himself in the lord..you too can

  308. My heart is broken cant i ve some one to love?

    • its hurts Sam but trust me you will get over it…do not allow them see your pain

  309. Nearly 15 years together, married for 18 months. Since may 2017. 6 months after wedding she said she didnt love me or have feelings for me. 2 wks ago she threw her rings at me and said it was over, 3 kids and nk explanation why? Absolutley gutted and struggling to cope without seeing the kids everyday 😭😔😤

    • I feel your pain ,18 years and then a month ago she says she doesn’t know how she feels any more, today she drops the bombshell she’s going, I should have seen the warning signs but you rarely do ,all of a sudden my life is completely different and very lonely 😞

  310. I’ve been in an on and off relationship for almost four years she’s always cheating with men from the same community that I’m from and when I found out about it a tell her to stop but she just won’t.i try to avoid her but she lives in my community so it’s kinder hard to avoid seeing her an people is always bringing her name to me.we broke up tonight and am feeling so bad I don’t know what to do some one please help

  311. People always took benefit of my noble nature..when they find option suddenly they leave me it hurts..

    • yes, you’re right. be what you are.

    • Yup. They take and run away laughing while you die a little more.

  312. I’ve been married for 6 years and been together for 11 years. My husband and I fought all odds to be together and got married. Now my husband tells me that he doesn’t love me anymore. He never has since we got married. I’m fully broken by his words.. he means the world to me. We have been through a lot together and finally in the last 2 years felt that we were finally settling in life. We made lots of plans together.. feels like my whole life just shattered in minutes. He wants to separate now.. I have no idea what to do.. I tend to over think.. get frustrated at times and break down constantly..

    • First of all. You cant force anyone to love you. Whatever your husband is doing with you right now is not right. but we cant do anything. let him do whatever he feels right for himself and he will get it back soon. Try your level best to get him back but at the end he is the one who will take decision for himself. You will get someone better soon. Yes, it will take time but sooner you will forget him.

  313. I met a guy online really great guy, we chatted for two months ago and then came over to visit me.. We lived in different countries,it was bliss during the first week..after he started complaining about how my country is really bad, poor infrastructure,poor everything and expensive to live in, I told him if he is not impressed by my country he should go back to his country and I we move on.. After a day he told me he doesn’t want to go back that he just wants to get adjusted then he will be ok, the following two weeks he was okay, then the story about bad everything started..I had already fallen in love with him and was ready to do everything comfortably for him just to love it here. He refused to stay in my apartment and we decided to find a better one, he was okay again and he started loving the place more.. We used to do everything together but now he started talking about we doing what we love to do alone.. He would go out for coffee everyday and leave me in the house, not a day did he invite me for coffee, he started having private conversation very late in the night and very early in the morning.. I noticed his body language too changed, he didn’t bother where I went or did.. So a few days ago I asked him why the sudden change and point blank, said he doesn’t want to live with me anymore,,that coincidentally at the coffee shop he met a really beautiful and nice girl and he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, I felt like dying, after all I did to make him comfortable..he said he wants I move out so the girl can move in, upto now m still reeling from the shock, I can’t stop crying, I quit my job cozhe said if I don’t stop working he will leave , gave out my apartment, m here now broke heartbroken don’t know what to do all say, but I think the best thing is never to fall in love.. For the last three days just been crying myself silly, no appetite, I feel hopeless..my friends say I get over him but it’s not as easy as it sounds

    • Carey. I am so sorry you are feeling this way…..I feel your pain. Losing someone is just awful…hang in there, you will get through everything!

  314. I had known her since 2012. We just knew each other because we stayed in the same building. In 2016 we became facebook friends and she also separated with her husband. She never took me seriously until late 2017. Her husband then died in december 2017 but it wasn’t a big blow as she had stayed with another man during that period. In June she came to the city from the countryside where she works and live. She invited me over and i spent the night at with her at her sister’s place. We then set the rules of the relationship and she said there is an older guy who wants her so i will be side chick. I agreed but after 2 weeks upgraded me and said “i have felt i need you”. Following week i was supposed to meet her at her sister’s place at 8pm but i got there at 1am and said to her i will go with her tomorrow but she insisted on going to myplace on foot in a very dangerous neighbourhood. That’s the moment a fell deeply in love. July was fine. Then August she told me i must not come to her place as she is dealing with some personal issues. I also moved out of my place in September because i had no rent. Found a place in October but she kept giving me excuses why she wouldn’t come. This november i moved closer to her sister’s place where she comes over the weekends and she still refuses to come. excuse after another. 3 November was a drunken fight with her sisters and the sister said she is playing with me. She has blocked me on facebook and whatsapp. Blocks me from calling on days on end. She says she has needs a break as she is going through a lot. Apparently she lost a lot of money from a ponzi scheme. I asked about it and she was livid. What pains is her refusing to come to my place and the six month break she has asked.

  315. I fell in love with a guy who had been my buddie for 7months and he was more on e quiet side and I e bubbly one. And it jus felt right that he didn’t rush it. And I gave in totaly.all my friends didn’t like him at all coz he was too quiet around em and wen we wer alone we always had stuff to tok and laff about. I saw him everyday of my life. He literally promised me we cudnt b apart and I never imagined us apart. He also wud say I fear u will leave me one day…. But he en left. And everyone knew I was head over heels in love with him…. He jus broke my heart and even went on to ask out a girl form my hood who we both used to talk to… Never been so hurt and so angry at e same time… And the worst part is I let my guard down and gave it my all hoping we could be something stronger…. Hadn’t had a relationship in a while because I lost trust and confidence in people… Now I feel so lost and broken and it’s something I think of daily… It’s been a month since he left me. And I’m stuck with memories wch I see as all lies now

  316. I met a guy online a month ago and when we met he was 2 weeks fresh from a breakup.He dated a girl for 2 years and half and all of a sudden the girl said they should breakup.he was really hurt cause he like invested alot into the relationship.it was a distance relationship.Now this guy and I started talking and I am beginning to like him and he said he likes me too but unfortunately he is not ready for a relationship yet..I dnt wana be a rebound,I dnt wanna get hurt I just want him to heal.its so difficult and so I told him that we should stop talking up until he heals but he just ignored my request and just started a new topic and everytime I bring it up he dismisses it…I dnt know what to do…sometimes I think of just disapearing and come back after some months but I am scared he might draw apart,push him away but he needs to heal without me on the picture..he needs to accept whats going on and be single for some time so that he can be able to start afresh…and he wanted me to come to his country and also said he will come here and take me with…it really breaks my heart that we have to wait and that he is going through this..what should I do?

  317. I dated my wife for two years before we go married. Two years after we got married she found a new lover on Facebook and cheated on me. After I found out I left the house taking almost everything but her bedroom set while she was at work. I was destroyed. I lost a lot of weight, couldn’t sleep or eat. I didn’t want to. It hurt. After two months she came back to me saying she messed up and that she’d never do that again. fast forward to November 21st, 2018. I knew she was cheating again but kept denying it and getting mad at me and that was the day I showed her the pictures I had of her and her lover. She left that day. And here I am. Feeling all used up and worthless

    • Its okay brother. you are not just one in this world who faced this problem don’t feel worthless, don’t feel that you are a victim. It will take time. go slow, one day at a time. Divert yourself. Same thing happened with me. now i roam with many girls and enjoying my life. And whatever she did to you she will get it back soon.

    • They don’t care about you or how much hurt you’re going to go threw, they’re selfish people who care only of them selves. The holidays tare me up and my x knew it so she started with a man in October and told me the day after thanks giving. She knew doing it around this time of year would add to the hurt and I believe she gets a kick out of it. They scream about how men are so evil. Well I got news for you, women can be venomous pit vipers when they want to hurt you, say will say or do ANY THING to watch you fall to your knees. I still haven’t really processed it yet, she did it Friday after all. She’s still using my power in her place, and I’m too much in love with her to do any thing about it. I feel your pain sir and it sucks. All we can do is hope iy comes back on them 10 fold.

  318. Am also suffered from my love..it totaly burns my emotions,thinking and my strength…love is an accedent in all humans life at the any age…we cont get back from normal once fall down…our soul always asking why it is happend to me…but the most of question is arraised but the answer is never given to us…so the final hope is god only…

  319. I was dating my ex for 1 year and 7 months. During this time he confessed to me that he wasn’t over his ex of 4 years. He told me he didn’t love me or see a future with me.
    I told him how this could not be true because I love him deeply and I seen it in his eyes as well.
    On our anniversary we got pregnant. I am now 8 months pregnant. He has broken up with me and went distance.
    It just really hurts because I invested so much, we’ve been through so much together. I stuck with him when he was going through hard times.
    I don’t understand how he could be so cruel and treat me this way.
    He was my best friend and now he is becoming a stranger. We have a baby on the way. He hasn’t been there for me at all! He didn’t go to any doctor appointments or anything.
    It’s just not fair to our daughter and me.
    I want to move on from this hurt. So I can be strong for my daughter.
    I just don’t know how!
    I pray and have faith in God.
    I know God is working but it still hurts.

  320. i had a bf i have been dating for 1 year ,i love him so much gave him all ,stayed in his hard times …
    but recently he said he has feelings for his ex and his been lying to me
    later on he asked my sister out
    and left her and later
    came to me ,he loves his ex and i don’t understand …
    i love him and still do
    it hurt me so
    bad i cant stop crying
    he just changed nd am pregnant for him
    i don’t even know what will become of us

  321. I was with my x for 5 years then she went away for a weekend and came back changed. For the past few months she’s been with another man while taking things from me and telling me how she loves me. I finally got her to admit she’s been seeing another man. So Now I’m the jerk, not because of the man I’m ok with that. It’s the taking from me instead of getting from him. She want’s me to leave the power on in her name (She has a big past due bill and can’t get it.) and if I turn it off I’m a “vengeful mother blank. she has no this at home, and no that at home, and nothing in the fridge and if I don’t help her I’m swore at again. When I try to talk to her she say’s she’ll get a protection order, I guess that’s how women deal with no I’m not gonna do it any more. It sounds weird but I love this woman to pieces (I even got her grandchildren Christmas gifts and hers) and knowing I’d do it she made sure I had them before we had our discussion, I just don’t know what to do. should I trust her with the power, should I help her with her bills, I just don’t know. I feel soulless with out her around.

    • I think she’s taking advantage of you. I also think that she knows you still love her so she’s using it to her advantage. I honestly feel like when your no longer in a relationship with someone, your no longer responsible for taking care of them. She needs to learn how to stand on her own without you. And you should ask yourself if she would do the same for you. Especially that she has another man. Let that man take care of her now. It’s not your place anymore. Don’t let anyone use you

  322. So like I broke up with this girl because it was changing me to deeply and it came to the point where I had to fake my personality which put me in a depression, but like when I see her with her ex and stuff it makes me sad because I know deep down I still love her but I know if I go back it’s gonna be painful but so I need help because I need help getting both over my depression (already have significantly after I broke up with her three days ago but there’s still a little more) and over her

  323. A year ago I made the decision to break up with my boyfriend. We were best friends but I felt like our relationship became a sinking ship. For 2 years every weekend I would pack my bag and go to his apartment until Sunday evening when I would return to home. I began to feel resentment. For a multitude of reasons. If I would have enough courage to bring up the future, I was met with him saying let’s take this one day at a time. He was in AA and sober for a few years. Also, he’s was beyond type A, so my little mess maybe the hairdryer being out of place or using his phone charger always seemed to be a big deal. Aside from those things we had a really fun and passionate relationship. One night I got up enough courage to ask what the future held for us. He said he felt I was irresponsible with money and I should live on my own for a year maybe I would hit financial rock bottom. I was appalled and sad he felt thy way. Although I don’t have a hefty saving account. I was not the one who had it rock bottom in my life. I have a job, make decent money, and have a pension and a IRA as well as deferred comp. non of which he has, I do love cloths though. We also split most dinners, although, he made double my salary, that started the second year of our relationship. So that night he said that I got up backed my bag not to return. I broke up with him the day before Christmas last year. He called me crying and saying he would do anything. He felt like he was going to die. I went back, for him to break up with me a week later, I have not come to peace with the demise of how this went wrong. I feel like I really lost my best friend, still a year later. I keep playing this game in my head. Maybe if I was smarter, neater more type A the outcome would be different.

  324. I told my crush I liked her for a very long time and she said she didn’t feel the same. I asked her if she would ever change and she said she never would. No matter how broken I was, That made me smile. She never fails to make me feel better. She helped me through the whole thing. To this day, We are friends. Rember feelings fade. Feel better people!

  325. I told my crush I liked him and he just rejected me and today he went off at me saying I was the worst in the world for liking him and he kept on saying never talk to me again or there is gonna be a problem this all started because my best friends were protecting me from him and he said he was mad at me for it

    • I am in the same shoes as you right now, I liked this girl we go to the same school same grade, talking alot, yeah all that good stuff. We were having feelings for each other, then secretly we were saying to each other I love you lovey dovey stuff like that talking alot. All of a sudden on December 16 *a monday* she stopped texting/talking to me. She said that she was arguing with someone and she is, but also that she has been talking to someone else. Recently on December 16 of this year 2018 she had a boyfriend (its a pretty long distance rship). When she mentioned it I was destroyed, heart broken, ect. I didnt know what to do being honest and I found out just today. Apparently her older brothers friend has like her for a while now and they aren’t even that close close like how she and I was. But she decided to go with him, just like you I was confused at first millions of thought spreading through my mind. Like ‘Why is she dating him?” And “what… no way, she would never Do that… right?”. As these thoughts began to develop, my heart ached even more. While she and I were still there I just couldn’t look at her, I trusted her, she trusted me and we loved each other, oh so dearly. These thoughts still go through my head “why” questions, “what” questions, and till the end I have no answers. As the result I just didn’t want to be on her bad side and decided not to question her seriously. So I asked her should I change our names *on facebook*, now in this moment I wasn’t surprised but I did get an aching pain inside my heart. She replys with a “yes!”, the time was 12:48 pm, I smile and say “okay”. In the past she has been telling me about how depressed she was because of her past crying at times and even telling me she wants to kill herself, so I help her get out of it. It worked, I got her out of the depressed state, and yet” she still did this to me” I’m thinking right here right now. I still care for her so at that time I said “Hey, if anything happens to you, bad or angry text me, okay?” She says “okay thank you”. It has now been about 2 hours and 30 something minutes ever since I learned that she dated someone else for 2 days without telling me. Thank you for reading my story I just needed some help, so I decided I wanted to telling people online about my story.

      • Also the lovey dovey stuff we did was holding hands, kissing, and junk like that. For some apparent reason we also didn’t say “hey wanna be my boyfriend/girlfriend”.

      • you are not alone bro,

      • your not alone I had been experience that 2018 don’t worry about that lose first
        its heart but after 2 to 3 weeks your emotion back to good life you have to go through
        that feeling dont forget to pray in the Lord he is the sources of life.

  326. My boyfriend never gives me attention. At the beginning of the relationship he used to say i love you but now nothing. Nor i love yous nor i miss yous… nothing. He doesn’t give me any attention and I feel like he isn’t proud to be with me. It’s very one-sided.

  327. I was talking to this guy for a year plus.. he was my first love. I dont think ive ever loved someone as much as i do with him. We talked like couples do but never declared that we were. After a year i think we’re still in that ‘getting to know each other’ phase. We are in a long distance rship as i was out of the country studying,and hes working in our home country. Until last month i told him that i am coming home and we can meet. I was excited bc i could finally see him. He never really showed that he was excited as well,so i assumed maybe bc hes busy with his work. But on my way home he kept texting me to tell me if ive arrived bc he wanted to pick me up. To make this story short,he couldnt make it so i went home with my parents. The next day i asked him if he wanted to meet me and he was like “hmm not sure. I thought yesterday was perfect for us to meet” so i was like ok..but a little bit confused.
    A day after, suddenly i had this instinct to check on his sister’s instagram…and found out that…he.just.got.married. Yesterday. When we were casually talking. No clues or wtv. We didnt fight. He didnt say nothing about his upcoming marriage. He was there, sitting next to a woman in her wedding dress……i was just out of words. I didnt cry at first, i was still in confusion. Thoughts running through my head, i feel like dreaming. I slapped myself repeatedly and PRAYING this was just a dream. And then the crying happened. I lose my appetite and did not leave my bed for few days.
    I was broken,shattered and in pain. How could he do this to me. What sin have i done to him to deserve this punishment? I cried til my head hurts and i no longer can produce any more tears. I texted him but all i get was being left with ‘read’.
    He replied 7/8hours later trying to explain himself. His replies were trash. He is a trash. He just said that he wanted to tell me long ago but worried that i wont be able to study for my exams so he had to delay it. He also said that it was during summer that he had to choose between me and the girl (who is his wife now) as to who he should get to know further. Yes, I was treated as an option and he didnt choose me because i am living overseas and it’d be hard for us. There was zero communication about this with him, i swear i can figure things if he really wanted to get married with me.
    He said that he wanted to SEE ME for the LAST TIME before he get married the next day. How cruel this person could be 😭💔 i really could not brain. How could you see some girl the night before he was getting married. Still crying as i type this. He is just too much.
    To make this short, i just ended the conversation with him. Its no use. He is happy, i am broken so what more could i do. It is still painful and i am saving myself from depression. I dont want to get myself fall into depression. I hope i can recover soon. Guys like this they give u hope,sweet talk you and made u believe they had something with us but in reality…thats just in our side of the story. I felt too much and he didnt. So goodbye,he wont see or hear anymore from me.

    • SadSunflower, I hope this message doesn’t reach you too late, I just wanna say I felt deeply moved by the cruelty of that guy’s action and I feel very sorry and compassionate for you. I hope this serves you as a way to grow and not give your heart away to anyone until you’re sure it’s really reciprocated and things are clear. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. You just seem like a genuinely kind and sweet person. I hope you’re never again taken advantage. He’s clearly pure trash, as you say it. I’m going through a very long breakup myself (one year and a half of pain) so I know how it’s like to cry until you head hurts and there aren’t any more tears left. It’s horrible, and I’ve slowly crawled myself from the pit and gained the strength to do other things that make me happy and have hope in better things to come. Hope you find a way to happiness and eventually meet a person who treats you with fairness, honesty and respect. Massive hug.

    • To me it sounded as though you were dating before you met in person?? What he did is under no circumstance remotely okay. That is a classic scumbag move. But as the article says learn from it, gain wisdom and don’t start dating someone online before you meet them. I’ll give you that tip.

    • Girl you know what you should be happy he didnt choose you that guy has no chill at all you wouldnt want to be the bride of a man who request to meet with another woman night before the wedding.you deserve better

  328. I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, the first month and a half we were together crap happened and we took a break, he slept with another girl that he was talking to the entire time we were together before because he thought he had feelings for her. A week later we talked fixed things and moved on, the 8-9 months after that was amazing. We were so happy, after that things got rough, he lied a lot about things so I confronted him about everything and he said he wanted to fix it because he loved me it’s about a year later and we just broke up today because he said he doesn’t know what he wants, he says he loves me and he doesn’t want to lose us but I don’t know what I should do. Should I fight for him and our realationship.? I love him, he’s everything to me.

    • Have patience. He loves you but he made mistakes he shouldn’t have. Focus on what you want and that doesn’t makes you selfish. Talk to him. Talk to someone who cares for you.
      Your best frnd or frnd. Let him explain further..have a heart to heart talk and then decide.

    • Please dont i have been through that him telling you that he doesnt know what he wants means he is weighing options..if you fight for him he might agree to be with you not because he wants to but because yiu made effort and it might cost you in the future when things go wrong he will blame it on you that you failed to listen

  329. I’ve been seeing someone about 6 months.. I fell in love very hard and couldn’t get myself to a clear state of mind. We would do things together, I met some of his friends.. I had trust issues that I made clear to him so he could be open about anything to me.
    I started to get attached but he kept feeling more and more distant.
    He used to drink heavily but stopped around the time we agreed to date. A few days ago he got very drunk and made a huge deal about things in his life that were very damning.. then he stopped talking to me.. completely. I went to his house to check on him to find all the lights on and cans all over the floor.
    From what it appeared he had another person over cause the bed was a mess and he cheated on me.. I broke it off but the pain is so great I literally wanna disappear..
    slowly feeling better but I’m not in my right mind and kind of shut down.

  330. Hi I was really hesitant about writing on here but I thought I would open up to something like this. I was seeing this guy for about a month and a half and we were getting to know each other and both had said we liked each other. He lives long distance about 2 hours away but when we started talking we both agreed that distance was not a problem since we would just make trips to see each other and it wasn’t that far. About a month and a half of talking everyday and hanging out he sent me a text that he didn’t think the distance would work and like anyone I was completely crushed and for a couple days I couldn’t eat. It’s been about 4 weeks since then and I still am hurting. We still talk sometimes on Snapchat but I can tell we are both distant. I don’t trust him anymore but gosh I miss him so much…. I don’t know how to cope with this and the pain is so horrible sometimes. I have talked to family and friends but I find myself wanting to be alone. I don’t know if it’s because this was my first real relationship kind of thing or because I am 18. I honestly don’t know how to cope with this.

  331. I was hesitant to post this I got dumped after two years at end of November my partner had no polar and I broke my back in an accident in the may I was 100% faithful but when we had a short split slept with a man from dating site we had grown close in my eyes but her 12 yr old would never speak to me and out of the blue she told me she never loved me only felt Sorry for me she told me to leave and blocked me on Facebook not long after I still have clothes and things in her house but have been unable to speak to her Xmas was very lonely I still love her but I don’t know if shes moved on I’m thinking about moving from area I cry all time

  332. Do I post this … well let’s see my husband that I love with all my heart and soul for 29 years had an intimate relationship with what for it …… a family relative 3 years ago and tried to restart this but it did not go to ….. whatever I found it all out.
    I am devastated, destroyed and I have no-one I trust to turn to as our life’s are so interlinked, our kids are lost (all adults) and are speechless as like me they didn’t even know there was an issue. I have been to doctor but I don’t have anyone to confide in, still very painful but I have to let it out

    • That is awful…the pain, rejection and depression is unbearable…i feel for you so much…turn to your children for love & support for it is real.

  333. Thank you for the wonderful thoughts , we are in 8years relationship with my partner and it sudently disappeared. Accept everything, let recover the pain
    and healed by God.
    Thank you for the advice.

  334. I hate love will never love again in my life

  335. There’s no true love

    • You cld b right

  336. Being loving and loyal no longer workes for me.someone comes in your life aweken your love with no intentions of loving you and eventually dumps you after 4 good years…To me love shouldnt b called love coz it hurts

  337. I’m having trouble getting over a girl I dated 7 times for over 2 years in total idk what I was thinking I thought I could make it work but she had other plans all the time last time we broke up we were together for 11 months she moved on fast and I’m left here sobbing bc I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone like her or better than her I wanna die but know that ain’t the answer my birthday I spent crying my eyes out and Christmas as well I don’t know what to do I’m lost…

    • Give yourself time to heal, others did it already and so are you. Believe in yourself and pray.

  338. …. love does not really ends like what you read or seen from a fairy tale. You thought it will be… but it isn’t..

  339. Thanks, this was helpful.

  340. I broken heart is the worst punishment I can wish for anyone,got dumped after three years of strong relationship,I have started to believe relation are not for ke

  341. Thanks this was a little helpful, feeling very depressed after break up.

    • Thank you so much I really needed this. God bless you. I’ve been trying to fight my healing process and jumping into being perfectly okay but I won’t go on. I will allow myself to heal. God I really loved him. I guess everything Happens for a reason

  342. I was with a guy for 2 years we never really dated officially, it was kinda unofficial. Recently I told him that I wanted us to just b platonic friends and I haven’t seen him since then. He left.

  343. I have 3 young children from a man I loved.He has humiliated me and destroyed my whole being.All Im left to do is cry in pain.As bad as I want to love on I have no courage to.Ive prayed n prayed but the pain seems to get worse.I feel abandoned by God .Im trying to be strong for my kids but that’s proven difficult as I fall to floor in darkness every day.The stress of it all caused me a nervous breakdown.My God why have you forsaken me.I want to wake up n this pain gone ! I cannot see anything in the horizon .My eyes have been blinded and darkness is engulfing me! God save me !!

    • I read your comment and instantly felt the need to respond. I too have dealt with similar situations if not the same. I just want to tell you that God is your friend. When the man I loved left, I was angry with God. I didn’t understand, I felt betrayed and forsaken. But let me remind you that these are only feelings. sometimes we let our feelings become stronger than the truth. The truth is that God loves you with all his heart. He feels the pain you’re feeling. He’s saying that he’s here for you. He wants you to tell him how you feel, tell him how things are. Tell him as much as you feel you need to. Slowly but surely, if you fall into his embrace, you’ll begin to heal. Yes, it feels like your heart is shattering to pieces when you’ve lost one you’ve truly loved. But would you believe me if I told you God feels that same way when he sees you hurting.
      God is love, he’ll put together the parts of you that you thought would n ever be fixed. God says he’ll be your comfort, he’ll be your strength, he will Never Abandon You. Instead, he will be with you wherever you go. He will uphold you. So don’t be afraid, don’t fear. Trust in God and know that he loves you infinitely more than you could ever love anything.
      Continue to Seek God and I promise you, you will find him. He will Save you, you just have to believe and trust that he will. May God be with you <3

      • I am right there with you!!!!! Hurting….. and praying for God to fix everything. It’s hard to believe it happened for a reason. Trusting and praying that in time God will let us know why. Shine your Love and Grace on all of our hurting hearts, Almighty God, In Jesus Name, I ask. Amen

    • I’m so sorry

    • I am so sorry you are going through this. I too feel what you are going through. My partner went to work one day and never came home after 20 yearz. We were not fightingat the time. She will only text me, i have not seen her in over a month. We have not been apart for 20 year. I have seen her everyday. I know your heart is broke but please know God is there and we will make it through this. Put everything you have left inside in to those kids. They need you now more than you will ever know.

    • I’m feeling the same way. I plan to find a therapist this week. My husband of 26 years is a narcissist and it’s taken its toll on me. I never want to be back in this boat again, feeling worthless, discarded and invalidated. Over and over.

    • You are not alone!!!! God bless

  344. To all you heart broken people. I am broken myself, but thing wich helps me is the fact that everything happens for reason. We met our halfs for reason, to learn about ourselves, to learn what love is and to learn our other half something obviously.
    If break up happened, it means you gave up on love that you had with that person and that you are ready for something more. Take the lesson from every relationship and find strenght to move on. It may seem that we are low at the moment but if we take your time and focus on your qualities, work on yourself and never give up on love.
    God bless you!

    • Amen

  345. I do not think my wife loves me. We are always fighting. Maybe I am a bad person. I always she cheats on me. We do not stay together and when I call her she never answers my call. She will then call close to midnight and tell me how much she loves me as if she was patronizing me. I am not sure if she loves me.

  346. I cought my boyfrind in bed with another woman..after a 7years old relationship..we hv a 4 years baby boy

  347. I met this girl in high school and we liked each other. We flirted alot non verbally. She always talked to lots of other guys and I never really trusted her. But nonetheless I fell in love with her and I thought she could be faithful to me. I asked of she felt the same and she said no but she still wanted to be friends and kept flirting with body language. Every time I asked her if we could possibly me more she said no and yet still stuck around. Later on she took a trip to another state with a friend. During that trip she slept with her friend’s brother and started a relationship with him even though they live many miles apart. She kept it from me until her friend finally told me. I was devasted. I thought this girl was just waiting for the right time to tell me. But instead she’s decided to play with my heart. I moved on but them she called me up again after she got dumped. I talked to alot of psychics about her and they said we would be married and have children. But this girl never apologized and insists she has done nothing wrong. It is the hardest thing ever to let go of someone you love but they only take you for granted. Unrequited love rules over me and the battle to let her go is one I will remember for a long time

    • Wow. That’s tough. I’m sorry she mislead you. I’ve learned being open and honest at the beginning, slowing allowing a person in is the best way to approach any relationship. I ask a man what his attention are with me upfront. I always appreciate it when they are honest. Time will reveal a persons true character. Take it ez and love yourself.

  348. OMG …I am just going through the worst of pain from a broken heart !!! For me ,emotional pain hurts so much more than any physical pain I have ever experienced …it literally feels like a part of me died on the inside !!!
    I do pray to God to help me heal and hope in time the brokenness will be mended and I can learn to live and smile again !!!
    Somehow God will show me the way back into the light and out of the horrible darkness I find myself in !!!
    I also hope that I have finally learned my lessons since this is not the first time for me !!! I must go deep within to find out why I have been with the same kind of men to brake the pattern of falling in love with the wrong men …different names ,different faces but the same personality!
    Very charming in the beginning but once I love them ,they become demanding and abusive !!
    I’m sure many of you can identify with my story !
    And please never fall in love with a person over the Internet on social media because then you really have no idea who you are dealing with !!!

    • Wow. This spoke to me. I tend to fall for men who are genuinely great people but only in it with me half way. I’ve learned to take real slow. I let my emotions get ahead of me. God wants ALL the pieces of my heart. Whole and broken. I’m learning so much that I let God be the author of my love story He will take me to heights I could never imagine. Plus, He guards me, guided me, tells me I’m loved no matter what. I will pray for…you are precious

  349. I found out that the girl I want to get married to was cheating on me. My heart is so heavy that I can’t bear the site of her around me, and I love her so much

  350. Hello everyone,
    I waited for three half years so deeply in love with every look to this day. One day I never heard from him again. In March idll be almost a year since then and I found out he got married, not even a year apart!!! This person would say and laugh at people who got married he swore it was a piece of paper and how he’d have to know someone for ten years before getting married !!!! And here I am crying as I did the day he left me but I’m allowing myself to cry as much as I need and keep going cause I have no choice!!!! I’m still in shock it hurts all over again just when I thought I was over it!!!!

  351. Heyy, I just saw this today, and I thought, “Hmm, I have poetry that relates. Could I somehow post it on here?” Can I?

  352. Hmmn. Love’s hurt can excruciating

  353. Dear hopeline..ive been suffering a heartache from heartbroken for almost two years from now ..how can i get rid of it?.coz untill now i still love this man..

    • Movies ! Gym ! Dance !! Stay busy!!! Get a second job. Ive done all of the above. I’ve been heart aching for 9 months finally almost mended. You can do it !! I know You can. They always come back. Don’t contact him. Keep yourself happy love you

  354. Hy I’ve been heart broken now it has been 5 months now. The thing is I lost appetite through this & seriously I don’t like this weight & slimmness. But the thing is I still love this man so so much. What should I do about this.

    • I read that and I’m on the same page exactly :/ it’s been 5 months for me now and I have my ups and downs but it seems that I still can’t get her out of my head. There was cheats involved and she moved on with someone else yet I still love her. Hope we both heal soon!

  355. He left me earlier on today. He says he loves me but he doesn’t want to hurt me. I’ve into him for the past three years and he told me he loved me knowing very well that he didn’t. It hurts! I just want the pain to stop I’d rather deal with physical pain.

    • It’s his loss. Actually, I have come to laugh and feel sorry for any man who doesn’t want me for what ever reason, because I am usually the best thing that had ever happened to them. They always come back long after I have healed and I am like: ‘huh? seriously???’ Put yourself in the mindset that you are the bomb and they didn’t deserve you in the first place. Easier said than done? No, not really….I just know I’m awesome and always have been. Now, you have to find that old song by Brooks and Dunn “You Better Kiss Me, Cuz You’re Gonna Miss Me When I’m Gone….” It couldn’t hold more truth. Lean on the Lord, He’s got this. Actually, with my last break up, I haven’t even cried, because I know that Jesus is somehow sending me a sign that this is for the best and I dodged a bullet!

  356. How can I get over it when I see him everyday and he’s with my best friend!!!!

    • Secretly pity them. You know that you deserve better and you will receive better. In the meantime, exercise, bake, get active in church, do things you used to do but miss!

    • I know your pain. I was in love in the first degree at 16, twice. I am 48 now and I look back on it. I thank the Lord I did not end up with the two guys I was in love with, well one I can really say I loved the other I really liked a lot. The one, his name was Bob, if I would have been with him I probably would be tattooed head to toe like the girl he feel in love with, he tattooed her all over. I thank the Lord I’m not tattooed from head to toe. Clark was the one I was really in love with. He turned out to be an alcoholic. I married a man that loves me and has cared for me for 29 years. Way better than what I would have ended up with. The Lord knows who we need to be with, have faith in that. I will too. I’m going through a hard time myself right now. I hope the best for you and I will pray for you. You will end up with a lot better.

  357. I am suffering from severe heart ache…. my boyfriend broke up with me after i moved in with in saying that he isnt ready for a commitment. He is now seeing one of my co-workers…. it hurts really badly…… i just want the pain to go away.

  358. I have been trying to rebuild my marriage for one & a half years now, and I am getting no where at all. All he does is bring up old issues that we’ve discussed and “forgave” each other for many times, yet he still blames me for his unhappiness. He thinks that he has the right to cheat because I’ve made him so unhappy in the past, although he’s spent 7 years with me. He talks bad about me to his family, and now they don’t like me although they’ve never met me. I feel so lonely and lost with out him although I know he doesn’t like me anymore. If I try to mention anything about his new behavior that I don”t like, he gets upset, blames it all on me, and storms off. He is impossible to speak to, yet I still try. I know that I am probably better off alone, but it feels so miserable. I am use to having a family, and it scares me to start over. I wish that I had family and friends to help me through this because I cry and feel blamed for everything often. I literally beg for him to spend time with me. I need to press reset and find myself a new life but it feels impossible. I wish I never fell in love with him because it’s so hard to to let go.

    • I feel your pain. We have two kids together. I thought it was supposed to be forever. I dont beg him to spend time anymore. He barely comes home. What is the point? It’s sad. Been a 13 year long battle. He was my first love but I’m tired of being so sad it hurts.

  359. It’s only been a week for me,But the pain hurts deeply. At first I was angry so I popped his tires, that didn’t help. Then I got sad and angry I was very confused. I cried I couldn’t crying for 3 days straight..I still cry, in the morning when I wake up I’m the evening when I go to sleep. My chest hurts frequently. I force myself to eat. I am big believer in God, I have a strong relationship with him. I don’t have friends or family but I have God. I pray for peace & understanding. I wish this pain on no one. Please pray for me.

    • I feel you pain girl, my wife of 21 years just told me she wants a divorce I have been crying for 4 weeks now and it’s not getting any easier

  360. My boyfriend broke up with me. He was literally the perfect man. I did not see this break up coming. He broke up with me because he felt I was not ready for marriage (we’ve been together for 4 months) due to me not reaching out to his parents like he reached out to mine. For about a week, I was really emotional, and lashed out on my feelings, which did not make him feel good. He actually considered telling me to never contact him again but he didn’t. I had a moment to think about my actions and apologized to him. That apology initiated contact and intimacy that we never had before (we are both celibate and did not cross any lines-out integrity is still intact). I knew he still loved me, but his past experiences made him think that I would disrespect his mother the way his exes did. So today, I felt the need to call it off completely. He was actually planning on telling me the same. It just hurts so bad. This is someone I’ve prayed with, prayed for, prayed over. He satisfied everything I asked God for in a husband. I love his children and they loved me. They actually were not happy to hear about the break up and was upset with him about it. I’m not sure how to even process this to even begin to heal. I’ve cried for 12 days, I’ve lost several pounds, I’m not eating and I feel embarrassed to even pray about it. Please advise. I feel like a wanderer.

    • How did you honestly feel about his parents? Did you like them?

  361. I am in love with someone who is in my close circle of friend. He admitted that he’s single but in the end I got to know he’s actually with someone. It hurts so bad and I thought of telling everything that I feel to him but in the same time I am afraid that I will jeopardize my friendship with him and even ruin the friendship in our friend circle. What should i do? Should i confront him or just rebuild myself in silence?

    • Consider how many of those friends could you really talk to about this? I’m going through a break up now cause she had a big group of friends that had a lot of pull on her. However only one of them she can talk to.
      So my point, don’t let your friends dictate how you handle this. Do what’s best for you.
      My experience is you need to wait until you can think rationally about your relationship before you can really do something

      • Don’t tell him. Same happened to me this past weekend. I am so broken I feel like I just can not ever love again. We were intimate before and stayed friends after. He said he did not want to be in a relationship but I found he’s been in a few along the way even though he asked for half naked pictures and promised future sexual fantasies. I am truly devastated. I told him when he finally said he is dating someone I loved him. I am always open and truthful to him obviously he has never been to me and I just was living in a fantasy world. So I told him I loved him very very openly but that I want him happy and I am good but just not good enough for him. That I want him to be happy and wish him all the best. That I wish for him love not one sided but both ways. He then sent a note to cut all communication as it is unhealthy for him as well as me. I said I agreed and wished him well.
        Now I don’t have him to send notes to and funny texts and uplifting comments. I miss him terribly and am so broken I never want to open my heart again. I have 4 kids and he has 3 we are both over 45 and he is older than be by a bit. I don’t care to do this love thing anymore. I do wish I did not tell him I loved him yet it made it that I could move on and grieve as I do not think that anytime soon he would’ve been ready for a true relationship with me. Maybe in 10 years if we are still single both but not now. But now I feel not good enough and broken and alone. I miss him….live is hard. I used to believe that love was worth it but now if this is how it feels I would rather not have it ever again. It is like death. Losing a loved one yet knowing they didn’t love you. My love has to die or I can not move on in life positively. Let go silently, don’t show him you love him. I always knew the truth I just didn’t want to believe it. I deserve this I did it to myself.

  362. My wife of 21 years has told me she wants a divorce about a month ago because of my alcoholism so the day she said that I quit drinking and started anger management counseling and she said she cant forgive me. I feel like I’m dying inside because she told me she doesn’t know if she can forgive me or trust me again or if she even wants too. I just want my family back.

  363. I dated someone a while ago and after a few months i heard that he is also dating my best friend. What should I do

    • That person must be a womanizer so best thing I to drop him and keep your focus to your destination

  364. I’m in love with someone who is addict and I’m trying to help her get better I have loved her for years we have dated off and on over the years and I have loved more and more she went about an hour away to a program to get better and her friend just told me shes seeing a guy up there her friend couldn’t take seeing me treat her so good and do such nice things for her now I know it’s hard dealing with addiction but if you new how awesome she was before the drugs! it hurts me so much I feel like someone is stomping me in the gut I love her so much I would die for her

  365. This really helped.

  366. The man I dated l loved him from the bottom of my heart, with everything that I had and owned. After a few months in the relationship, he started changing.Every little thing l did for him didn’t matter to him. He was always scolding me for everything and blaming me. After a while relationship became difficult to survive in and the worst happened.We broke up. The pain l am feeling right now it’s like l can kill myself or drawn myself. Please can l get assistance before the whole situation gets out of hand.

    • Cynthia, Thank you for reaching out for help. You are deeply hurt by your breakup and you are not alone. We are here to listen. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • For fast let’s accept the fact the if he was meant for you he couldn’t have done all that inhuman change so the best thing is pray to God and also have hope in life you will always shine

  367. Well i know i might seem awfully young although I’m very mature and articulate for my age (14) well ive recently discovered my sexuality i’m bisexual and i’m a female . My girlfriend have been dating for almost 2 months but she broke up with me yesterday which was our 2 month anniversary and started dating my ex bestie im having a hard rime coping i’ve started drinking my mothers liquor & my heart aches really bad ;( .

    • The alcohol will only numb your emotions temporarily, but will create more problems long-term. Try self-compassion right now instead – be kind and gentle and treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend. The pain will decrease and eventually stop, I promise. My heart is broken right now, too.

  368. My fiance and I ended a while ago, but I found out that I’m pregnant. I told him and he said it’s my choice if I want to keep it.. That was his way of saying he doesn’t want to be involved. I’m crushed… I want to spend the rest of my life with him still… But I know he doesn’t care anymore… I don’t want to have an abortion but I also don’t want to be tied to someone that doesn’t want me.. Any advice helps..

    • Blaze we understand that you’re hurting right now. You are not alone we are here to listen and help you through this. I hope coach would love to chat online with you tonight and listen and help you through this. Go to https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ To chat online with them. We also have a partner that can help you with your pregnancy options. You can chat online with them too at
      Find a center near you.
      Text “HELPLINE” to 313131
      Call pregnancy helpline at 1-800-712-4357
      Live Chat with someone
      Blaze we understand that you’re hurting right now. You are not alone we are here to listen and help you through this. I hope coach would love to chat online with you tonight and listen and help you through this. Go to https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ To chat online with them. We also have a partner that can help you with your pregnancy options. You can chat online with them too at https://optionline.org/livechat/

  369. I put in two years of efforts; money, time, traveled to see him several times on plane or hours of driving, and eventually moved closer to him …. from one day to the next, he started posting pictures on the internet with some girl. They seem happy. I wish I can take all of my efforts back and my 2 years, but I can’t. My heart hurts so bad, my whole body has been shaking since I found out, and he doesn’t seem to care about how he left me here not knowing what I did wrong when all I did was love him unconditionally. I’m moving back home to my family.

  370. I just turned 30 was dating this gal who for the first time she was the one. Never felt this way with any other. Everything has been fine and I mean perfect. We seen each other once maybe twice a week spent weekends together. After the 3rd month she out of nowhere said to me she can’t see me in her future. Not a good explanation to why but I’ve done all I could out my heart to keep her happy. She didn’t say there was anyone else just straight up where is this going’? It killed me and even a few days go by I’m still in the lowest I’ve been. I seem to prescription pills when I find em
    Hate to do it but this is pain I’ve never felt before. I’m sorry to any lady who’s felt this now I know what it’s like to feel so hard for someone and then to be broken
    Time heals they say but Honestly idk if I can after this

  371. My girl friend break up with me some weeks back and it is taking me time to stop thinking, even when i try to stop thinking about her, the more i get hurt.
    The breakup was just like a dream to me after she told me she stop loving and just after a week she started posting another guys pictures giving him all the praises i use to get from her before, am really trying to get better but it has not been easy for me.

    • I feel your pain…..

      • I feel your pain and going through the same thing at exact time!! I keep telling myself god doesn’t give us more than we can handle!! But it’s really tough, so hang in there!

        • U said it all..just wanna get over thsese mixed emotions.it hurts so bad

  372. Same is happening to me, it feels like my heart had been broken to pieces.

  373. I’m just so sad I still find myself crying and I feel totally ashamed of myself and my decisions. I broke up with my boyfriend late December and I still feel sad we’re both in our early twenties and we we’re each other’s first serious relationship he was my first kiss and we eventually became kind of intimate and i grew up in a Christian home so I feel absolutely ashamed and sad. This is a sadness that I’ve never felt and it’s so hard because I really fell for him in a short amount of time and we made that mistake and I said we stopped. Even though we never went all the way I still feel terrible and I became extremely sad I think depressed because I was going through this with my now ex and every since we stopped messing around he stopped talking to me as much he wasn’t as loving he wouldn’t even kiss me back and I told him so many times crying I feel like you don’t love me anymore just because we stopped being intimate and he said everything is fine i still love you I don’t need that etc. on top of that I had so other issues to so I really felt like I was being attacked from all angles. Eventually we were letting each focus on finals so we weren’t talking too and then we were finally on break and neither of us were busy and he wouldn’t text me till the middle of the night and it was only for maybe an hour. Some days he wouldn’t text or call at all I was just so sad and he knew this so one night I just decided he doesn’t love me so I broke up with him. He didn’t take it well at all and drove to my town demanding to see me called , texted, snaped me nonstop for days it’s was terrible and now I have class with him too and it’s so hard because I see him every other day and I still love him but he isn’t good for me he has a lot of issues that I can not resolve only he can with God’s help. But I still love him so much and I won’t go back with him because I know I’ll just end up hurt again and I need to focus on school but I just feel so sad and I miss him but I don’t miss the other parts of him that I got to see and genuinely scared me. I just want to forget about everything I wish I could take it all back and the other part of my still loves him and is just trying to move on, feel whole again and learn from these mistakes but I’m so sad. I try to just immerse myself in school but I still find myself from time to time if I let myself just crying and sad. It’s hard seeing him even though I know he’s not for me I still love him and I hurt him and he needs help but I can’t help him at the same time because it will take everything out of me. I just need help I hope and pray I’ll eventually feel ok and move on with my life and hopefully eventually not feel so ashamed. Like I feel sad, weak and totally vulnerable I trusted him with my love and body and now its like I can’t get that back. Will I ever feel normal again idk anymore and I just want to feel forgiven for my sins but idk I just can’t seem to forgive myself I just want some kind of help.

    • We are here and you are not alone. A broken heart is devastating and talking about it is so important. Your feelings are valid. You are grieving a relationship that you feel is lost. Along with the importance of talking about it…it’s important that you continue to get help. We are proud of you for reaching out for help. We think you would benefit from having an email mentor. It would be someone that you can email back and for with for as long as like about anything. To sign up for an email mentor go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/
      If you would like to be part of a community that is praying LIVE for you on Facebook you can find out more here: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/ We also have a prayer site that you can post your prayer request and our prayer champions will pray for you at: https://www.theprayerzone.com/

    • You have to forgive yourself first. Every opportunity is a learning one, including this. Don’t be so hard on yourself, and instead, try to learn from this, so you are better off in the future. Even if this was a mistake, that’s okay. To be human is to err. Forgive yourself, love yourself, accept that we all make decisions that seem poor in hindsight. It’s okay. You will feel happiness creep back into your life, but you have to be gentle and understanding with yourself along the way.

  374. Guess we are all human to feel so bad.mine happen 2 days ago ,ended caurse he saw his ex from 4 years ago and all his old feelings came back.loves me but in love with her still..omg it hurts so much..

  375. I met this guy we have been going out for a month we live with each other and had sex everyday. All of a sudden he stop kissing me when he come home. Now we start to sleep with a wide gap in between us. We dont even go out anymore. We usually have small tall n run jokes now all that is gone is like i am this stranger to him. And my heart it hurting so bad. I did not know i could feel like this. I can’t sleep at night and I wish we were back to the eat things are at first. I wish my heart was not feel the way it do.

    • it is always easy to remember that life has to go on,no one promised it would be easy but everything happens for reason,and if it is something that will change your life so then let it,am sorry u had to go through this i am facing the same problem and it hurt so bad because i am already in love with him.

  376. My ex broke up with me after going on vacation for a week while I watched his dog. I felt something in my gut when he got back and asked if everything was ok? He said of course and there was nothing wrong and he wanted our relationship. The next day I found a bunch of girls
    On his snapchat. One best friend on snap and I found her on Instagram… half naked mirror shots, my heart sank. I confronted him and said they were just friends and never had sex ( even though I never asked). I broke down to him and said I feel like something is wrong and you can’t commjnicate with me. He asked if we would stop talking about it. After that I felt so fragile, I knew in my heart something was going on or he wasn’t being honest but he told me it was my trust issues. I’d just moved across the country and we met my first week in a new city. Whirlwind 4 month romance, I thought the universe had finally sent me my person. In the blink of an eye the person who I loved with every part of me left. 20 minutes before he broke up with him I told him about my grandfather molesting me at 12. He kissed me on the forehead and told me he was so sorry. Went to the bathroom, came back, broke up with me and told me I deserved better. I revealed the deepest part of who I was, and he left without a second thought. The confusion around this breakup was so profound. A week prior this man was still sweeping me off my feet. There has been no contact. I haven’t reached out since. I lost 15 pounds after the breakup and went into a deep depression. Even called a suicide hotline. It’s been 2 months and I’m doing better but I still find myself searching for closure, looking at social media, looking at the girls he started to follow afterwards. All of his pictures after we broke up were shirt off photos of himself. I feel silly for loving him then, and still silly for loving someone who clearly loves themselves more.

    • i feel your pain,

  377. I loved this boy for so long and he hurt me throughout the time being I felt hopeless still trying to make it come through the back and forth game he was playing and it still hurts he made me walk home by myself I felt broken I’m not sure whose toxic if it’s me for going back and forth knowing how it will end 🤔 I just wanna get over these mixed emotions

    • I feel your pain but it will pass and we’ll be better people for it.I lost a girl I’ve known over half my life.Everything was great then she came to visit for 3 days and was distant.I repeatedly tried to get her to communicate but she assured me everything was fine.Soon as she left she broke up with me via TEXT saying she’s interested in someone else,OUCH! I’m struggling and have nobody but my 11yr old girl to talk to.

    • Time seems endless. Every minute seems like years in prison. I know that it will end but time seems endless

  378. My love is NOT sexual attachment. It is not physical. It’s purely a mental connection. That’s now broken and the other person does not understand. I don’t expect anything from her. Yet I miss her terribly. It was as though God put me here to care for her and maybe I possibly broke that trust by falling in love. I love her and don’t expect anything from her yet My heart is lost forever. Why is that?

    • Will I be normal again? This has never happened to me before

  379. A long time had passed. It’s been a long time. Yet my heart has not recovered. I wish I had the power of God to love everyone so I don’t dispair about one person. How can I stop the pain. It’s way beyond me.

  380. Help. Why is worse every night.

  381. I have no destructive behavior. I can only live. I cannot harm a fly or a bug. Yet I suffer beaten like pulp. My heart is beaten up for a poor non violent being that I am. I love everyone. I love her more than everyone.

  382. I talk to God everyday. Every minute. Yet he does not come. Perhaps it’s only a human who can help me. God seems useless. They say don’t pray in vain but where the hell or heaven is God?

    • Nathan, We are sorry you are going through this pain and hurt you are experiencing. It is hard to understand why things happen the way they do. It is easy to cast the blame on God. Please hold on to the fact that God loves you. He loves your prayers and He hears them. He is there and He will take this pain away and give you comfort and peace. Be patient…His timing is not our timing, however, the Lord’s timing is perfect. Someday you will look back on this challenging time and you will see how God helped you through this. In the meantime, please continue to talk about how you are feeling. It helps to talk about it. How about chatting online with one of our HopeCoaches at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We also think you would benefit from having an email mentor. It would be someone that you can email back and for with for as long as like about anything. To sign up for an email mentor go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/ And lastly, would you like to be part of a community that would pray LIVE for you on Facebook? You can find out more here: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/

  383. It hurts so much knowing Im not talking to him anymore. my heart is broken, I wanna die . We didn’t break up but we are having a break for One week , and after one week he is going to tell me if he wants to be with me or not and it hurts me because what if he say No , Oh god im crying so muchhh . please guys what do you think he is going to say?! Give me some hope , he is my only one my bestfriend , I don’t trust no one Idk what to do. Im dying inside

    • Try to relax and try to not get yourself worked up by thinking the worst. If you are having a break, then it’s a short break which might do you both good. Remember that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ and it will give you some time for yourself. Use the time to go out shopping, enjoy yourself and show your partner that you have a life with or without him. God Bless.

  384. My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me the second time in our relationship this year (the second time i have caught him, don’t know about the others). Its been a little over a month and i’m still hurting. We are back together, he’s apologized and is willing to do everything and be the best he can be according to him but the problem is i’ve heard these same words before the first time he cheated. I don’t know if i can ever be happy again, if i can ever get over the pain. The pain is excruciating. It hurts me that i love him so much. I have never cheated nor been unfaithful to him not even once and yet, he’s done it twice now. We have a very open relationship that was based of communication over every little detail. Why couldn’t he tell me when his feelings were changing? Why couldn’t he just tell me i wasn’t doing something right so we wouldn’t get this shattered. I’m struggling to live each day. I keep blaming myself that i am not good enough. I doubt every word that comes out of his mouth now. Every action he makes, I feel its insincere; he’s just trying to let us get through this. What happens later when everything is resolved? Should I be expecting another heartbreak? I can’t eat, I’ve lost interest in a lot of things. I already struggle with mental issues and this heartbreak just brought back everything. I have been contemplating suicide cause i can’t get over this pain. I don’t know what to do.

    • Red, Thank you for reaching out for help. You are good enough. It takes courage to tell your story and we want you to know you deserve to be treated better. You deserve a boyfriend that respects you and loves you and will not cheat on you. It’s important that you continue to talk about this and how it is making you feel. Please stay strong. You are valuable and worthy! We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • Red, Please do not think that you are alone and give yourself time to heal. Don’t for one minute place blame on yourself or undervalue your true unique self. Remember that people who cheat are people with issues and it wouldn’t matter how kind, loving, loyal, supportive you are to them they would do it anyway. You haven’t done anything wrong. So do not put pressure on yourself or try to own a problem that isn’t yours, it’s theirs and theirs alone. You sound like a beautiful caring person and somebody who really deserves better. They say love is blind and I’m afraid it really is.
      Sometimes it takes us a while to really figure it out. Someone once said to me something that I have never forgotten to help me with my heartache which I would like to pass on to you. Yes I’ve been cheated on to. Hopefully it will help you.
      ‘One’s self-pity never cures one’s problems, but actions can move mountains and soften the hardest of hearts’.
      There is a lot of truth in the saying ‘once a cheat always a cheat’ and only you would be able to decide if your could accept and forgive but remember your life is what you make it, your in charge and your the driver, You may also consider this phrase ‘If you always do what you have always done, then you will always have what you have always got’.
      God Bless Red, stay strong, I care. xxx

    • Red, please talk to a therapist or someone about your feelings. If you are thinking of suicide, you are in such a bad place. You need to stop blaming yourself. It’s not you, it’s him. There is NOTHING wrong with you. I think all of us have chosen the wrong person to let in and love at least once in our lives. That doesn’t make you the problem. My personal opinion is “once a cheater, always a cheater”. I only believe this because I’ve dealt with it multiple times. I too struggle with mental instability, trust issues…and because of this, I almost always choose the wrong man. And for reasons I don’t quite understand, I continue to let the same man hurt me over and over again. It takes so much out of me, yet it feels like it takes just as much to end the cycle. So it continues. I continue to be broken while the man I’m with continues to live “the single life”…even though he clearly isn’t single. You’re not alone in this. Please seek help. You deserve better. Like me, I believe your self esteem is shot because of men like this. Try to build up your confidence and remember….you’re worth so much more than what he’s willing to give to you. I pray for you. Hope this has a happy outcome for you.

      • Hi red,
        Life has so many invaluable things to offer. Never think of committing suicide. Baby God knows why he brought you to this world, because he has something special to offer you. You are worthy, beautiful, unique and special to God. Never forget that. Search for the love of God and you will never filled unloved. I wish you all the best. Be strong and think positive. You are worthy for someone.

  385. I am 30 years old and I have been with my husband for 10 years.We have been blessed with two beautiful children.He got a job out of our country and its been a long distance relationship for 3 years now.He comes for 5 months then he is usually away for like 7 .It hasn’t been an easy 3years and we even broke up in 2017 just after i lost my dad.We were split for like 6 months then when he came we decided to forgive each other and vowed to make things work.it was great when he was around and left again for work in 2018.While he was away he used to have his insecurities but I used to assure him and even send prove of all am doing.It was not until he came I found out through his phone he was actually the one cheating on me with someone we both knew.The lady he was cheating on me with lives also far away so they actually dint meet but they would send each other love messages and nude photos.It broke me to pieces and he couldn’t use distance as an excuse cause even her she was far.He begged me to forgive him which took time but I did and we got back together.We enforced new things in our marriage that we believed would make it work and when he went back again I believed we were on the right track this time.This was until recently when i found out he lied to me about going out with his friends for some late night party.I confronted him but he kept denying even telling me things like he cant jeopardize our relationship and trust knowing where we have come from, till I gave him prove thats when he admitted and started apologizing claiming he knew if he told me the truth I would be pissed.I have since broken up with him.He says I shouldnt break up with him over him being dishonest but the problem is it is deeper than that.We were still so fragile to a point something as simple as a small lie can trigger us.If he can lie to me over such a small thing then what else cant he lie about?I keep crying everyday,i cant believe I let myself fall for his empty promises again.I love him so much and he claims he does too but I don’t believe him.I don’t believe anything he says.Am soo broken.I have been with this guy for 10years,how am I to even move on past him?Am scared if he comes back for his break from work he will find a way to convince me,deep down I know I want to but it can never be the same.I have lost all the trust in him.I was still healing from his infidelity then he decides to take me back to zero.How is it that someone claims they love you only to hurt you?How is that okay?How does he sleep knowing his actions will cause me immense pain??I do not know what to do or tell him.Am soo heart broken and so hurt.Am blaming myself for being a fool and allowing him to take me through this over and over again..Please tell me what to do.He is a great guy,other than this weakness we have a great time.We are each others best friends,people actually admire what we have.He is an amazing father to our kids.I am afraid of how things will be without him.He will still be part of my life cause of the kids these means we will still see each other even after this break up.Am soo confused.Please advice me on what to do

    • Hi Miss WC,
      you wrote you still love your husband and that is good. I don’t know if you are a believer, because if yes I will tell you to let God fix this relationship for you. Go on ur knees and pray to God. The devil hates marriage and hate to see couples been happy. His mission is to destroy marriages. Please don’t give up your marriage, try your best through prayers and see what God can do. I don’t think its the will of God to get divorce. I wish you all the best and all the energy and strengh that you may need to be successful.

  386. my boyfriend of almost 4 years got another girl pregnant and is now acting as if i dont exist he continuously says he loves me but i think he is only doing it to spare my feelings. i lost my 2 bestfriends over an argument i now they hate me i feel like my life is over

    • I know what you are going through, I’m going through the same thing. The father of my 2 children got another girl pregnant and he says that he’s sorry and wants to fix things. How are we gonna fix things when there is a constant remind of what he did to me. I love him but I cannot stand the sight of him and I don’t wanna leave him for that girl.

    • hey janelle I feel you right now, my ex boyfriend for 4 years and 2 months got her ex girlfriend pregnant. I dont know how to react and until now I just can’t believe that he did it to me. Nobody knows what I’ve through right, my family didnt know yet and I dont know how to tell them because they all know that my ex and I and still together </3. I know God will guide us. Let just pray always that one day we'll wake up and everything is fine.

  387. I’m in love with a girl who left the state a week ago, my heart is aching and she’s all I think about, I hurt her with my words, words I would give anything to take back,,,I just want to say to everyone hurting that God will heal our broken hearts,,,I give her to Him and then I take her back,,,I Trust Him and His will for me,,,,we have to believe and I do that there is a greater plan for us ? Pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth,,,and I am growing,,,,love, love, love

  388. Hi,
    I am struggling with my breakup that happened 10 months ago. We met filming a TV show and had a bit of a rocky start (he had had a girlfriend but broke up with her after we met, I wasn’t over my ex) but after working together for 6 months, taking a break for 3 months, we both decided to make it work. He lived in Canada I lived in the USA. After the show wrapped, we did long distance and didn’t go longer than a month without seeing each other. He would take countless red-eyes to be with me, we’d meet in beautiful places like Mexico, Colorado and he’d come to LA where I lived and I went to Toronto often. We decided together I would move to Canada. I got the visa and in July of 2017, I quit my job in LA and moved to Canada. We lived together and things were great. He’s loving, patient, kind and perfect, but I had some doubts – my own insecurities of past relationships, issues with trust and I think I struggled with starting over in Canada. I made new friends, had a decent job, and we were together. He spoiled me with beautiful gifts and flowers constantly, I gave him beautiful things as well. We really worked well together, we understood one another, respected on another and really cared for each other. I did have doubts though, I wasn’t totally attracted to him physically at times (not always), and I began questioning if I was in love. I would talk down those emotions and feelings I had inside of myself (they turned into constant feelings/doubts) because he was so kind, so giving, and we really cared for one another. I would say, I would I give this up? He’s so great, just ignore your doubts, you’re thinking crazy.
    On December 2nd, he proposed and I said yes. We quickly jumped into planning, I bought my wedding dress by the second week of January. We chose a destination wedding in Mexico, it was going to be magical. We set the date for May 2019. In April, I went away to Vancouver for work and as I was sitting alone in a hotel room after working for the day, something hit me. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t in love. I didn’t know if I could love him forever. I knew if I walked down the aisle in front of all of our friends and family and told him, I promise to love you forever, I would be lying because I didn’t know if I could.
    I talked myself out of it, I just said I was having wedding jitters and went about my job and began calling everyone on the guest list as I drove back across Canada from Vancouver to Toronto. When I got home, there he was, and I was happy. That night though, we got in an argument over the visas, when to get married so I can keep working, etc. He wanted to get married in December, 1 year after we got engaged. I wanted to wait until April, a month before the wedding. It was a silly argument but I told him I don’t want to get married for visas, I want to get married to because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
    That night we went back to our condo and my body reacted in a way I never expected. It was a true panic attack. I was losing my mind, I couldn’t breathe, could hardly speak, was shaking and crying and I couldn’t get in bed next to him. He didn’t understand what was wrong and I kept saying “it’s the wedding, it’s the wedding” but I had realized it was the marriage, not the wedding. It wasn’t until the next day that I broke it off.
    It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. He was blindsided and shocked, but I had to end it. Our departure was kind and loving, he even bought me boxes to help me pack. He didn’t stop fighting for me, but I couldn’t stay. I told him he should get a dog, and he did and I think that helped him heal. I went back to the US, went hiking on the AT, tried to figure out my next steps. Where do I live? Where am I going to work? What am I going to do?
    I now live in Colorado (I moved here to be close with family), I’m in therapy, I work full time as a virtual exec assist (I work from home, so it’s tough not being around people all the time, but it’s all good), and the extent of my dating life is online.
    I found out 2 days ago, my ex has met someone. My friend follows him on instagram and saw it. I begged to use her login and scope her out. There she was, beautiful, very Canadian looking, personal trainer, inspirational, and walking her dog and his dog. They probably cook beautiful healthy meals together and are super fit. I am genuinely happy for him – he deserves the love I couldn’t give him, and that’s why I left. But I’m still sad, I am still so incredibly hurt. It’s only been 10 months and he’s already dating again? Our wedding date was May 3rd of this year – how can he be with someone else on that date? I think I am really struggling because I haven’t met someone, I haven’t really been dating, I spend a lot of my time alone (due to my job and living in a new city), and when I think of the last time I had companionship, love, and a best friend – it was him. So I miss our memories – I sometimes miss him. Just talking and hearing about each others days, how thoughtful he was etc. But I think I just feel more alone knowing he’s moved on.
    It’s different though – he didn’t have to leave his job, his friends, his city, his family – he just had to deal with me leaving. And he lives in a place where he walks out his condo door, there’s 1000’s of people. He works for a corporation with hundreds of employees. Where I had to move back to the USA, find a new job, find out where to live (I lived with my brother his wife and their 2 kids to save $$ for my home purchase), I don’t have a ton of friends here – so I think seeing him happy is just a reminder of the things I don’t have. A dog (which I want but because I’ll be traveling a lot more for my job can’t get one), an intimate relationship, a great career….etc.
    I’m just hurting, I feel like I am mourning the loss all over again. I am genuinely happy for him though – I care about him and want what’s best for him. I just also am struggling with the loss. I’m just wondering if I will heal soon? Or do I have to meet someone else in order to heal completely? I almost called him yesterday to check in, but didn’t. I don’t want to cause him anymore pain than he has already had because of me. I guess I just selfishly want to know he still cares and what we shared was good and that he hasn’t forgotten me, because more now than ever – I don’t forget him and what we shared.
    Sincerely,
    Broken-hearted

    • Hi,
      Let me know if you need to talk. I just got a heart break after 5 and half years in a beautiful relationship. I got dumped this sunday and feel like my life is completely out of control ever since. It was my first relationship and hence my first breakup. I would really love to exchange feelings with you since i have no one now.

  389. Thank you

  390. I was a weak nerdy kid growing up who never opened up to others. I fell in love with a classmate in 2013. We have been together for 5 and a half years. It was like a fairy tale in the beginneing, for almost the first 2.5 years. Then the giddiness and the thrill of it normalized. We were still in a lot of love. We went beautiful places together, camping, road trips, we stayed together, worked in the same company, built forts together with pillows and bedsheets. There was a lot of strain from work especially on her end for the past 5 months. She had been struggling with all the work loads. I did not help her out during that time and did not connect as i should have. In my defense, I too was under a lot of work pressure but she did take out time to talk to me about how she was feeling with all the pressure. I had to travel internationally for a business trip for a month and that is when she found mental comfort with that guy. I guess they texted for long duration and she was expressing her feelings to him. When i got back she was already very distant from me. She stopped having lunches with me. Started staying late in office. Would directly go to sleep. She did feel guilty i guess from the inside. This one night I had a severe case of chest pain and she stayed up all night to make sure i was okay. I could see her watching me longingly. I loved being smothered and pampered by her, I did the same for her. At this time i had also expressed my intentions to marry her soon. Not an official proposal, that was to be this summer but something. I think she felt to guilty about it that she became even more distant from me. I was hurting a lot all this time because i spent all my time with her for the last 5 years. I grew away from friends and only had her. I started to panic in office when i wouldn’t hear from her. I felt claustrophobic in my own office. I had to walk out at these times.
    She broke up with me this Sunday. It was horrible. She told me how she went on a secret movie date with this guy. I couldn’t even bear to hear it. It was so terrible for me. I felt so low. Like me pulse had gone down all of a sudden. I couldn’t eat that night nor sleep for even a minute. Next morning i felt so horrible, i could eat the breakfast at all. I haven’t eaten much even since and don”t feel like that all. I don’t have any friends locally. i haven’t slept since, eaten since and feel so low when i am by myself. i cannot fathom that something so beautiful and warm is now going away from me. I cannot bear that soon i won’t be able to kiss her goodnight and won’t be able to kiss her good morning. She comforted me in my darkest hours, she would just place her hand over my back and i felt better with all that warmth. Now she is gone and i have nothing to comfort me. Will this ever end? Does it ever heal? Will i get over her? I cannot let her go since i never stopped loving her even though she did. I feel so rejected, abandoned, lost and alone.

  391. I have been in this relationship for 10 years. On 9-7-18, he said that he wanted to break up. I felt we had been growing apart because he would find excuses not to be together. Always saying he had to do things for his daughter, his mother or other family members. That’s when I started feeling he was involved with someone else. When you go looking, you will find. I decided to go through his phone and learned that he was involved with someone at work. He was involved with this person for one year. That’s where all the excuses came to play.
    We tried to work on the relationship because he said it was worth fighting for but put no effort into it. Finally, he said he wanted out because he had feelings for her on 2-16-19. This really devastated me. I was truly and still is hurt behind this. I gave him ten years. I realize that I lost my worth. I lost my way. I lost who I am. I try to convince myself that I am better off without him. However, I still love him.
    I wonder, how long will this hurt and pain last? I know it will take time and the pain will eventually fade…when?
    Is it wrong for me to tell him that I forgive him? It has been 31 days since I have seen or spoken to him. By the way, he lives with his mom. He was married before and divorced after 2 years. I love his daughter as she was my own. Which is another reason for the pain. His mother and I are very close. She is like my second mother. I love everyone in his family.

    • Hi Lisa, my name is Amy & I’m am going through somethig similar to you. My bf left me on 2/18/19 for someone else. I have not spoken to him & I cant describe the pain. I really would like to hear more about what your going through. We may be able to help each other through this rough time.

    • Hi Lisa, I am currently going through something similar to your situation. My boyfriend of 10 years decided to end our relationship on 3/10/19. He told me he is seeing someone new and that he cant be with me anymore. It pains my heart because I am still madly in love with him. I spent all those years with him, those are years that I can never get back. I am thankful that I have my family as a support system to help me get through this, but I am embarrassed to tell them the real reason why we broke up, because he was living with my family for over 5 years, recently got his own place and within 5 months of moving out he ended our relationship. I felt like he used my family and I. I gave him 10 years of my life, I felt like I loved him more than I love myself. I lost myself in this thing called love, but its time for me to heal. It’s time for me to replenish what I have been giving out all these years. I am typing this with tears rolling down my face, because I still love him, but I need to find back myself. I know I worth more than this. Moving forward won’t be easy but we all can get through this rough time together. I would also like to hear more of what your going through and maybe share with each other things that we are using to heal our broken hearts.

  392. Hi All,
    After 7 years together my boyfriend broke up with me on Sep 3, 2018. It’s been almost 7 months and I’m still in the middle of the pain. I didn’t like myself much by the end of the relationship and have thankfully been able to find myself again. What hurts is not having that second chance to be my real self and then see how things work out you know? He has made it very clear that he’s moved on and is now seeing someone else. Ugh life, am I right? Lol

  393. I am going through something similar as well. My boyfriend of 4 1/2 years and I have broken up. I last saw him at my son’s birthday party a week ago. I feel so humiliated and embarrassed. I don’t know how to get through the pain. I don’t have much family that I can talk to. I have tons of acquaintances, but not many friends that will just check up on me. How do I even tell my kids that they will no longer see him? It just hurts. I feel like I gave so much (too much). Everyone says that I am
    An amazing person, but I’m not feeling so amazing. I’m feeling rejected. I don’t know how to get over this. I don’t know how to move on. The pain is too much. I don’t want to start over or open my heart again.

    • Hi, I have just broken up with my wife of 13 years, I admit I wasn’t the best husband I could have done much much more
      there was no infidelity involved, there was very little intimacy for the last couple of years, I was content just plodding along was happy enough, we had our arguments like every couple, it came to a head this day last week and she has left
      this is serious I know and feel it, there is no communication from her nothing. I am really hurting I am lonely and very sad over this I cant sleep my mind is racing all crazy thoughts of her with someone else and just forgetting me and being happy
      I cant stop thinking about her and how things would be different this time any body have any suggestions or hints I am trying to keep busy but its always there to the front of my mind.

    • So sorry to hear this. I am going through something similar at the moment I thought that my girlfriend was ‘the one’ and it came as a big surprise when she dumped me two days ago. I keep trying to tell myself that I will get through this and you should do the same too. You’re broken heart will heal and your children will understand because they love you. I know it might seem strange but there are numbers you can call where someone will listen. Don’t suffer alone. Good luck.

  394. I am in same situation.,but I am trying to stay positive that one day I will be heal.i miss him so badly..but I need to move on and do the right thing.. accepting that he never want me anymore.

    • I feel the same way. I miss her sooo much. It feels like a death, I just keep thinking about mistakes that I made and how I could have fixed things before they got to this point.
      I’m not a crier and that was one of her complaints my lack of emotion, man have I cried over the last two weeks. I started to think something was wrong with me, maybe I was going crazy.
      I’ve never had a broken heart before, I honestly cant see going through this again its too painful.

  395. I felt in love with a coworker that at first treat me right later he started to send me pictures of the people he went out, few weeks later told me wants to sleep with me nothing happen than he started to talk about his girlfriend later goes away than came back and I am so stupid that I allow him to come back and hurt me than started to give me hopes again right now I blocked him but I feel deeply hurt and my mind it is not ok

  396. hi i dont know whats happening to me in past three months , i made a friend in october i have gradually developed feelings for him . my parents want me to do arrange marriage . i m so troubled all the time . please help me i dont talk to anyone these days i feel so awful and sad all the time

  397. I feel so heartbroken. I’m just realizing that my boyfriend of a few years and someone that I have loved for over 12 years no longer exists in my heart. It’s very difficult to move on and heal but I’ll make conscious efforts. I really wish I didn’t have to move on but it’s for the best I guess. And yes, I’m dealing with this all alone because I really don’t have anyone to share all this pain with.

    • Bless, i can understand very much your pain. i am sorry about if you need to talk to someone you can always reach me -many hugs to you!

  398. Hey, really looking for some advice here, so my relationship of over 16 years and 3 awesome kids seems to be completed over. We were still living in the same house until yesterday and for weeks she would go out and come home drunk, 4 to 5 nights out of the week. She wouldn’t spend time with her kids and she would lock herself in the room and talk on the phones with these new friends, guys and girls.
    We are still relatively young despite the time we been together, we are both in our mid thirties and it seems she is trying to reclaim her youth her new best friend is 21 and she is out with her all the time
    She seemed to have transformed into a completely different person even the kids have asked her whats wrong with mom. She always mad and she doesn’t cook or read to us anymore.
    I just couldn’t bare it, so I left She reached out to me recently and said that this is no longer a break up but a separation, its supposed to be time for us to explore life since we didn’t get a chance in our 20’s
    She has made a point to ensure that I still manage the bulk of her expenses as well as my own. I feel like she is using me because of the love for my kids. I am supposed to return in a few months as per our agreement, but I don’t see thing ever being the same.
    has anyone ever been through something like this before. Is it just about the money and enabling her to live wild while I pay the bills and suffer?
    Is she dangling a carrot over my head to keep me hopeful?

    • If you still love her and want to work things out, you need to have open communication and tell her your concerns and how you feel. Talk openly and honestly without seeming like you’re confronting her. Have total honesty about how youre feeling and tell her you expect the same.

  399. Am down,depressed and lonely … Can I ever fall in love again

  400. My bf broke up with me on 9/5/18. We talked everyday up until that date and were eachother best friends. He even confirmed that I was his best friend but we were both too stubborn and independent to be together. He emailed me and wrote me a hand written letter after our breakup to say that I didn’t nothing wrong and that I was everything he wanted in a girlfriend. We were together 3 years which flew by. I guess it doesn’t matter how good a girlfriend I was if in that time period he didn’t ask me to be his wife. I haven’t spoken to him since October. In that time I got a new job and moved out of state. It’s been almost 7 months but the loneliness and heartbreak still follow me. When will it end?

    • Give it time to heal. It’s obvious that you still have feelings for him, while you recovering from your heartbreak take steps into finding yourself and find what makes you special. And for the guy… Don’t worry about him please excuse my language but leave his a** where he’s at. He doesn’t deserve you and that lame excuse that he gave you is bull. Move on with life I know it’s been a long couple of years, but hopefully one day your true love will come knocking on your door. So when your healing don’t think about him, think about yourself.

  401. My love left me a week before Christmas. So it’s been about 3 and half months. Feels like forever ago and at the same time just yesterday. I couldn’t sleep. Eat. Or stop crying. I felt like there was a knife in my chest. After a month I had moments where I might have a feeling of normalcy. Briefly. And then back into the pain. Then out for a little bit. And it see sawed between. I did hear from him many times. He would tell me this new woman wasn’t what I thought she was to him. Even though he stayed night after night with her. At about three months later I’ve had good days. Tears sneak in. What has helped? Lots of video blogs about relationships. I would be happy to share which I found most helpful. I Focused on the idea that I mourned the loss of the future I planned with him, the way I loved how I was around him, the way I thought he loved me. Realizing that these are things/feelings that can be found again in someone else. Telling myself often that if he can betray me and leave me the way he did, then I don’t want him no matter how much I love him still. I don’t know that I will ever get completely over him. But I’m getting out now to meet others and feel sparks of interest and that helps a lot. So move forward. You don’t want someone who doesn’t want you. That thought kills me. But I know that there is someone , maybe a few, out there that would love a chance to get to know you. You have a lot of love to give and are worth it!

    • Please share the video blogs that helped you. I almost feel like im going through the most difficult stage emotionally

  402. Spent the past few months with a girl I met online. We played games together quite often and eventually we fell in love. We started talking sweet to each other while she was dating another man. She claimed she didn’t love him because they were always constantly getting into fights. Been like that for around a year. When they broke up we continued to be sweet to one another but she never wanted to be with me. She always said she was in too much pain to be in a relationship. I said I would wait for her to heal so we could have a chance. I looked after her the best I could, helped her pay bills and bought her gifts to keep her happy. She never asked for them, it was my choice to give her those things. I later learned she has depression and has cut herself in the past. I stayed by her not letting that come between her because I loved her too much. She then got into a really bad fight with her ex(stated above) which he said he no longer loved her which turns out she had been waiting for him and her to be together again. She said she and I would probably never be together because she loves him too much and I just felt broken. I did so much to keep her happy, I was her shoulder to cry on but it turns out she never loved me like I loved her. It hurts really bad and I don’t know what to do right now.

    • She doesn’t deserve you and now since you know that she used you, it’s time for you to be the bigger person and show her what she lost in an amazing person like you. Going through a heartbreak is not easy just make sure that you have friends, family, and mainly god to guide you out of your current situation. For next time when you meet somebody try to build a foundation with them (like a friendship) and try not to get so attached, this way you can learn more about the person. If she’s no good just drop her as a friend, is she’s wifey material carry her up like a queen that she is. Most importantly, enjoy life it’s her fault that she didn’t notice what a good person you are.- From Ozzy

  403. I just got my 2nd broken heart..my first was with a guy that rejected me because he won’t have time because of exams and all..and my 2nd actually just happen…i fall for a guy who’s heart was already taken by someone else..i got emotionally in his fights with his crush..they were both my good friends..his crush and him..i started to fall for him when..they fight..i started to get really close to him..when i decided to tell him i got a crush on him..he admitted he started to have feelings for me too..IMAGINE how happy i was that day..but when they started to talk back it tears my heart because he was about to propose her and this left me broken..i talk to him and when i told him that whoever he chose i will accept his decision and life will go on..he finally choose her..and now am heartbroken..the fact that he made me feel important..wanted..loved..and SPECIAL..i’ve got no words left to say..when the first time he put his lips on mine..i felt fireworks..he was my first kiss..and my true first love…idk what to do now..but i’mma try and talk to God..crying one last time for that pathetic situation..then i guess move on……..

  404. The hardest part was going to the super market and not knowing what to buy for myself, having been together for so long I didn’t even know which pasta I liked, moving on to the milk was hell and then I just wept in front of the dairy section, went home to have a bath and the room literally started spinning, I had to go outside to get some fresh air, I walked for miles in the rain thinking I’ll go and watch a film, got to the cinema complex that was spinning too, a friend called and I started to explain what was happening and the trigger, she suggested, medical help, then another friend called and asked me to drop in and for some reason I just started to talk and talk and talk by the end of the tea, I felt much better and headed straight back to the supper market and bought myself some food, went home and cooked. It is true that opening up helped me immensely as did my dog he was so supportive, one time I was doing my yoga and just cracked up crying, he came over sat on his hind legs and licked my tears, and that was when I realised that I was not alone and that I could cope and that I was going to get through this. I did and a year later was married the only side effect I have from that broken heart is claustrophobia, but it is quite manageable.

  405. “If the heartbreak is so intense that after two or so weeks we don’t feel like working or…” Two or three weeks would be an absolute luxury and I’d fall in love every fourth week because two or three weeks is nothing. Two other men I know share the same break up as myself. Our wives simply left without a word and never returned. Where’d she go, is she dead, do I really exist, and so many other questions, literal pain in every part of your body, heart hurts like a constant heart attack for months on end, you will have no energy because of the stress and your heart is not functioning properly so you will not receive enough oxygen to your system. I need to haul in at lest two loads of firewood each day and night, that’s my sole heat source. I found that the task was almost to much for me, I was exhausted after that and needed to rest for a good 5-10 minutes just to catch some breath. Insomnia, now hypersomnia, no apetite, the prettiest girl trying to get your attention is wasting her time, the ceiling becomes a real boring thing to look at during the long lonely nights which never end until, without any sleep, you watch the sun come up and begin it’s journey to dusk again, which you dread because it will happen again and you still haven’t slept more than 2-3 hours and sometimes no sleep at all. Life is hell and it starts each day all over again. For me it’s been 20 months and nothing seems to help. For the other two men, one is still suffering after 25 years, and my brother finally was able to date and marry a girl after some twenty years.
    Where does this two to three weeks thing come into play, that’s maybe some kind of cute puppy love or your cat died. The other is a person you loved no longer feels it necessary to tell you to kiss off and die.

    • Im sorry to say the pain will always be there. It took me four years. Not everyone heart heals the same. I don’t think there is a time limit. They are just saying don’t live in the past, because backwards Is not the direction you should be moving towards. Stay positive. Some days are worse than others. Only when you are ready will you be able to accept it and move on. I too had the depression, insomnia, and all the bad life decisions that go along with that, and then one day, I told myself to get it together because that’s not who I am and that’s not who I want to be. It will come for you, stay positive and never give up.

  406. Getting over him would not be so easy. Just got heart broken today. I need help to overcome the trauma. Please….

  407. Love this- wish I had read it when I was going through my own breakup.
    I actually just started blogging this year and wrote about my journey of healing my broken heart, and I would love your feedback if you ever get the chance 🙂

    • Hi, Claire! We will definitely take a look at your blog. If you ever want to submit your blog to be a guest post on our site go to https://www.thehopeline.com/writeforus/ and fill out our Guest Post Form.

  408. After being married 18 years, it’s not just heartbreak. It’s deep mistrust, disappointment, confusion, and bewilderment. I have no desire to date, or even get close enough to someone and will never allow someone to have control over my life like this person, who I thought loved me, did. Prayerfully, I’ll allow some measure of love back into my life some day, but my capacity to trust is shattered right now. My life has been forever altered and right now my “self-care” and kids are all that matters.

  409. Am broken hearted, my girlfriend cheated with a guy she met just a month and now she’s pregnant…we being together for a year and am deeply down….she cheated for months when I met her and I forgave her .i really need a true friend…am really in pain

    • Me too

  410. I just got heart broken. I never saw it. We were married. I know Iwill be okay

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