The deeper we have gone into the subject of lying, the more we see how much pain and stress it causes everyone involved. Sadly, all of us have been affected by lying, whether our own or someone else’s. I’ve been encouraged by those who have been helped by these blogs and want to live an honest life.
Lying is extremely stressful. It causes you to be constantly looking over your shoulder and wondering who might be finding you out. You’re always running through the lies you’ve told in your head, trying to keep track of what you’ve told to which person, and what’s the next lie you need to tell. When you’re honest, you don’t have those worries, or the negative consequences of your lies.
Sarah added: When you’re honest, you don’t feel so lost all the time.
Roselyn commented: I can say that not lying is a very relaxing way of life. The fact you don’t have to worry about remembering old lies or getting in trouble later on for lying puts a lot more relief in your life. Even when it’s hard, telling the truth always has the better outcome than a bunch of lies.
People are constantly looking to see who they can trust and who they can’t. People are actually much more perceptive and aware of who tells the truth and who doesn’t. Over time, honesty shows itself as a trait that is beautiful and deeply respected. As you begin to live lie-free, you will begin to see people will trust and respect you more and more.
If you resist the temptation to lie, you increase your capacity to build lasting relationships of trust. This is true in all our relationships whether it’s dating, family, friends, or at work. Macey put it so well: The truth always comes around. It’s always best to be honest it makes any and every relationship strong and healthy. Being honest and open has actually gotten me further than lying.
Integrity is a word few uses, and less understand. Yet if you, have it, it is priceless. If you are a person of integrity, it means your walk matches your talk…you do what you say you’re going to do, and when you say something, people know you mean what you say. It means you can be trusted. The opposite of integrity is hypocrisy…saying one thing and doing another.
Someone commented about the value of being honest: I used to lie a lot. I would lie only because it was easier than explaining the truth. And I have finally grown to realize that it’s easier to [be honest]. Being honest and open has actually gotten me further than lying. My parents trust me, and I feel good about myself. And when you feel good about yourself then you know that everything is okay. This person has come to realize the pain of hypocrisy and the joy of integrity. When we tell the truth and live it, we become emotionally and spiritually stronger every day.
I want to offer up a challenge to all of us. Would you be willing to commit to a life of honesty and integrity? If you’re up for this life-changing challenge, please write me a comment below, and tell a friend about your commitment, too.
jay888 says:
Lying has messed life it’s has moved from riches to rugs in just a period of 6 months
C Goodie says:
Lying is a bad habit I grew into over the yrs and now as I work to break it I often find myself being accused of lying when I’m telling the truth. I lied because of how I felt about myself only to feel worse after I lied. I lied to avoid conflict only to end up in an argument when my lie was exposed. I lied to be seen as smarter then I am only to feel like a fool inside for not having the courage to admit I don’t know something or understand how to do something. I lied to be seen as someone I’m not only to feel ashamed when I was alone for not being man enough to be honest about who I am even if it means some won’t like me. Now I hate lying. I hate how it makes me feel about me. I hate how my lies have made people feel about me. I hate lying. I hate it I hate it I hate. It’s a hard habit to break but I work on it constantly by telling the truth, and searching deep within myself for the answer to why I lie when I lie. I know I am on the path to being an honest person who always tells the truth. But it’s a hard path to walk because the lies I’ve told have made it so unless I can prove I’m telling the truth if it is thought that I’m lying then I’m lying.
Becky says:
I am ruining my relationship with my boyfriend by lying. I am committing to a life of honesty and integrity starting today.
I am going to ask my counselor to help me work through this.
BLACKJHONES says:
I just feel like if i dont become successful or if i dont graduate and go to college , i wont have anything or anyone to help me and if i dont have anything to live for , then why should i stay alive? I dont contribute to anyones life , people only Hang With me if i have something to offer and when i dont have anything , im alone , and i dont care about being alone , im a only child i just feel like after i turn 18 , there might not be anyreason for me to live , i dont know why i was put on this earth and im starting to feel like im here for no reason like im waisting my time living ….
nic says:
I have been living a life of lie lately. I am not going to make excuses, I lie and steal and I hate it! I do it because I am afraid of the truth. All I want is to have a family that gets along and is happy (I know it wont happen all the time) I want my husband to like me and not to fight so instead of being honest about money situations I lie and say I am working extra and I rob from peter to pay paul or take a few dollars here and there that aren’t mine with intentions of paying them back. I am afraid of being honest with him because I am so sick of fighting. I have used some of my kids savings with intentions of paying it back and feel like I am trying to cover up with that too. I/we don’t indulge on fancy things and we don’t have any “bad habits” (besides a true hope to win some cash in the lottery) we are truly just trying to get by on everyday life. We are a “good” family, involved in the community and church. Please help me….. some days I feel like I just want to give up because it isn’t worth the pain anymore, I don’t know what to do, I just want to get ahead of things. I pray daily for forgiveness and help.
jake says:
I have a problem with lying and hiding my feelings, I am afraid if my parents new things I’ve done in the past they wouldn’t love me or they would thin im a bad person, I get scary thoughts when I was a kid and I couldn’t tell any one about it, I didn’t know who to talk to. I still sometimes get them and it is hard to tell people I have these thoughts, but I have been going to group therapy and realizing people have these thoughts to. just not sure what to do with them. just scared and confused and lonely. I liie so much I tell meself there is no problem and believe it , trhis crap sucks! trying to turn over a new leaf.
sambo says:
Thank you for this article. I believe and have found it to be true that when you’re honest, you don’t feel lost all the time and the reciprocal, that when you lie you are lost all the time. I pretty much started lying to try to protect myself. Because when you lie, you don’t put your true self out in front of people, so you’re never vulnerable. But this doesn’t even make sense because if you’re human, then you must have be vulnerable sometimes, so there’s no sense in lying. Also, no sense in bullshitting, or omitting the truth. It makes sense to just tell the truth to people even if it hurts you. Also, in situations where the truth might hurt someone else, there might be a more tactful way of telling them the truth or being nice about it. I will not lie anymore.
mar says:
I lived in the farm thru out my adolescent age. I worked along with older farmers who worked long hours to make sure harvests were there to feed the family. We did not have much money, farming machines and just simple people just worked hard from morning to dark. But the joy of accomplishing what’s needed to be done was satisfying. When we did short cuts or cheating in the farming business, the results often manifested in the end or harvest time. We used to not use fertilizers in the right amount or cut amount of it, so what’s left could be use in the next season. But only to find out, the results were poor harvest and less money made.
There’s a saying,—- when working with the land/soil, one must work with honesty and integrity. Because in the end, the abundance in harvest will show from true hardwork. Meaning, do it right with honesty and integrity.
There I learned to speak and act with humbleness, hardwork spirit, honesty, and integrity. These attributes made me live my life comfortably and in peace.
Then later in life, got my college degree and moved out to the big city. There I found many hypocrits and dishonest employees….–t (not putting in 8 hours of solid work in a day), Lying in the board meeting, owning expensive cars with not enough money to pay it.
My humble experience and strong discipline (both learned from the farm) allow me to live simply, comfortably, and having fun at the same time. Always able to save money.
Fredrick Custard says:
I’m up for the challenge
Deidra David says:
I have a huge problem with lying. Not wanting to show the real me. Lying about doing or not doing something so people wont think I don’t care. Lying because it seems easier or to keep myself “looking good.” I will except this challenge to live free.
sue says:
I am ready to take on this challenge.
I have pretty much lied almost my whole life. basically trying to please everyone around me, wanting to make my life sound more interesting than it actually was. no one really every told me it was a serious issue. recently the past couple of days or so I would catch myself trying to figure out who I told certain lie to and if I told the same lie to other people. just like you said living a lie is very stressful, because I am trying to re-track my steps on numerous lies. I got some advice from my best friend and she advised me to start thinking before I speak. I also asked her mom, who is in the medical field. Her term she used was habitual lying, and since they have known me my whole. she thinks the best way to seize this issue was to see a therapist to help me stop. although, I believe I can stop living a lie without a therapist, if I have the drive to stop lying it can be done. will it be hard, yes! Now I just need some advice on how and where to begin? It is very difficult to do since I am so use to just spitting out lies. I know telling the truth would make my life way easier.
Andy Fullerton says:
I’m up for the challenge. Please help me.
Andy Fullerton says:
I’m up for the challenge. Please help.
chantelle clarke says:
I’m up for the challenge. Please help
Don’t want to lose everything I have.
Trey says:
I am up for the challenge. I am going to pay attention to what I say and do to be more aware of being honest 100% of the time
El says:
I do the hardest thing ever. Well telling the truth about something after you hide it for years will surely hurt your partner but I took the way to be honest. And now I live in a difficult moment. It feels like honesty destroy everything that I have and I build. But still I didn’t want to lie. I do not want to lie today, or tomorrow or next week or next year. I got a good leason from all of this. And thank you so much for writing this article. It makes me feel better. Alot much better.
Rui says:
I just hit rock bottom after a full life of lies and fear of being catch in my own traps. I lied to my wife several times (some “small” and some “big” lies) and right now came to a very fragile situation on our relationship (potentially divorce). This made me finally realise that lies bring consequences and that’s exactly what i never felt before. This time I understand I have a problem and I need to focus and give my complete best to get over this as a better man, one that people can trust and admire. It’s the only way for me to live a better life and maybe have a chance on my wife again.
Thank you for this help.
thehopeline says:
Rui, We applaud you for this! Not many ever come to the realization on what they need to do to make things work. We have confidence that you will succeed. If you need additional direction to help you stay on track we have email mentors that you can sign up for. It would be a man that you can email back and forth with for as long as you like about anything that you are struggling with. We really think this would be a good support system for you while you’re working on getting to the place you want to be in life and with your wife. To sign up go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/
Matt says:
I am on the path of honesty and integrity. I have learned that to survive in the world I need to manipulate everyone around me. Sadly that includes myself. I am very scared and very alone. I’m confused a lot of the time and live in a sort of fog. I try every day to live authentically. I don’t know what else to say.
Purnima says:
I always seeks honesty but , suddenly becomes victim of some kind of trouble with friends or others ,
May be more than half People are practising dishonesty 😭😭
Lorrin says:
I am up for the challenge. I want to live a life of honesty and integrity! I have lied to my husband and myself so many times I can’t even count anymore. Telling lies does nothing but destroy everything I have built with him. I know I have a problem and I want to do everything in my power to understand and overcome it. I don’t want to tell another lie to him or myself again. We are both worth it!
thehopeline says:
Dear Lorrin,
We are proud of you for taking on the challenge of living a life of honesty and integrity! Acknowledging your problem is an amazing first step. We are here for you if you ever need to talk about your struggle with lying. You can chat with one of our HopeCoaches at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ It’s free, confidential and judgment-free. Our HopeCoaches are there to listen, encourage and guide you on your journey of truth. -Taylor from TheHopeLine