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What To Do When You Hate Yourself – 5 Tips

1. Do You Truly Hate Yourself?

Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, “I hate myself, I’m no good, I’m so stupid, or I’m worthless.”

The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it’s easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.

So, what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?

2. Decide what you want to change about yourself

Nobody can make you love you other than you! It’s your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you’ve been thinking and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It’s often been said, “If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better.”

Cody wrote: I’ve found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.

It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you’re feeling better about yourself.

If you don’t like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.

3. Figure out what you CAN change and do it!

IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don’t like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don’t like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You’ll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.

Don’t obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don’t get stuck in that trap!

4. Build up your self-esteem by making a list of your 10 best qualities:

Can’t think of 10? There are more than you think but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.

Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.

Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.

Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can’t please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.

Decide that you will never say the words, “I Hate Myself” ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.

5. Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred

You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life…things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don’t.

Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.

So, if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.

Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day…maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn’t have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.

Remember God loves you

The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God’s love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you’ll feel much better about your life.

God made you very unique. And it’s this uniqueness that makes you special.

Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Angie wrote: It’s very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.

As you start believing in yourself more, you’ll have more good days than bad. It’s easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Don’t stay in that place of self-hate, it’s going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it’s possible.  Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.

And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.

  1. This is stupid….I still hate myself. Give me something that actually makes.a difference. There is nothing.

    • Dep, We want you to know that you matter and you are loved and worthy. How about calling or chatting with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine? Call 800.394.4673 or click on “get help” to chat anytime 24/7.If you want download our free app to your phone to chat, call, get an email mentor, recieve encouragemet here is the link to download it. http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp

  2. Sorry, but I am going to have to agree with dep, I still hate myself too. I don’t get me wrong do love God and knows that He loves me but from all of the things that I have been through in my life and I am wanting to find my other half in life. I don’t want to give up on that but I can’t help but feel that no one loves me and it hurts me to my core that I actually have feelings for someone now and he is offish and there is no one else trying to get with me either so I feel unlovable and unattractive to the opposite sex and i am definitely not gay so…but I get compliments from married men who obviously I cannot have and do not want anyway. I still feel a lot of self hatred for myself right now. I hear people telling me that there is someone out there for me but I feel that I keep having to let go of really great guys so I feel like I am not worthy of a great guy. It makes me think that if anyone comes into my life it is someone that I am not really attracted to that i have to learn to love.

  3. I am not handsomebboy that’s y am I hate my self I fear with girls as they like mevr not rly me wat can I do?

  4. as a “foster kid”, and being told I am worthless all my life, the holidays are hard! But, in the last few years, I have had an easier time, why? Because I focus on what I have now.. I have my husband and my children (both human and furry). They love me even if I don’t love myself at that given moment. I have chosen to be a survivor, and not dwell on what I have been told I am, but.. WHAT I AM.. I am a mother, a wife… I have good days and bad days, but more good than bad!!

    • Hi I’m a random person and not a foster child. Now I feel like this is another reason to hate myself because I don’t have a good reason..

      • Hello, Sai.
        There’s no such thing as a ‘good reason’ to hate yourself. Your pain is your own, and is not diminished because it is different to another’s. These things cannot be compared. They are subjective, not objective. My pain is not like your pain, but I feel it deeply, as you feel yours.
        You are *allowed* to feel your pain. It is not shameful, even if you feel you have ‘no good reason’.
        You are worthy to feel these feelings. And you are worthy to feel love and peace, as well.

        • That is a good response, thank you

  5. Thanks you so much you buaetyfull person who wote this I couldn’t understand why I would think that other people would hate me & think that im discusting iv been through a lot with juge mental far away family/undignosed illnesses Ehlors danlos syndrome /horific bullying /so on … sins the age of 11 im naw 20 but the self discused got so bad I didn’t think I would be abel to see my support worker agin iv seen this person for a year naw I though the person will think im discusting so on so I Googled (why do I feel people think im discusting ) after a lot of serching I found this slice of gold thank u ❤ im going to go & wite all the thigs dawn about haw to help your self the put them into action got a long road a head but at least I can start u have given me the starting tool’s xx

    • I adore you for writing this comment! I can tell you’re struggling and have been thru a lot. It takes guts to say what you’ve said. Please post again and let everyone know how you’re doing. I like you just from reading this post. *hugs*

  6. I tottaly feel now there’s a reason to lovw who i am

  7. I keep praying to find comfort in God’s love, to understand and accept losing my home and being unemployed, yet I feel I am rejected even by God. I apply for jobs daily with no success. I am cold and hungry. I feel worthless. I am either angry or crying ando no amount of comforting from my boyfriend makes it go away because I hate myself so how can I really believe that he or God loves me? I just want to feel at peace.

    • go find a bible based church one thing i learned you cant give god just a part of you he wants all of you start over back to the basics pray and read your word put all ur faith in him let him meet you were ur at if you havent yet say the sinners prayer then leap on him for everything scripture i just got for you jeramiah 29;11

  8. I’ve lost a very important person before I was born.i struggle alot to survive.i feel miserable all the time. my mom takes me all over the world and buys me things that I wanted a lot!but know I bring back bad grades to my mom and we fight every minute.i hate myself and want to die..😭

    • Dont want to die just because you fight im haveing the same problums now but without the glying around the world part witch ive always dreamed of by the way it sounds glamorious im jelious

    • Me and my parents fight a lot too. But Maddie you know your parents love you and you love them. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and he still loves us unconditionally! Maddie stay strong and maybe try letting God fight some of your battles. You aren’t fighting you or your parents you are fighting the devil! Stay strong and pray!

  9. this article and the previous one made me realise that i have value in this world. i shall never say the words i hate myself again as it is the root of my depression. thank you for the great articles. my life will change…

  10. Dont give up god has perfect timeing and just keep praying it gets better

  11. I think there might b something wrong with me in my childhood my step mom hated me and my mother beat me then my dad died and my aunt kciked me out my oldest borther hates me and as far as i can tell my boyfriend doesnt care either… the issue is i dont know what i did wrong in my mind at most im annoying but then everyone iv ever lived with seems to hate me. How can i not know y? I try so hard everyday to make my bf’s life easier and netter to make sure he gets everythung he wants i sold my car to pay bills and my inheritance from my dad dying i clean i make his lunches everyday and for the duration of our 2 year relationship all iv asked for back was to feel wanted such as spending time with me bot all of it i dont want to b needh just like 1 night a week where there aremt any video games and mayb 1 sunday a month but he just doesnt want to then when u get mad and complain i just feel bad like im a b****h and all i do is complain… i think it must b me because so many ppl are like this in my life im just not sure wat im doing wrong i really dont like myself but i also feel like im right when i complain until i start to feel guilty idk i really just am sick of life i miss my dad and i want to feel loved like someone wants me always and i think of that and want to hurt myself but then ppl will b upset with me if i tell them theyl think i just want attention

    • I really do believe that sometimes you can end up in a situation where you have collected a bunch of negative influences/people in your life without it being all something within yourself. Your request of having one night a week with your boyfriend sounds reasonable. However, sometimes people do not see the sacrifices you are making for them (selling car, the effort you put into his comfort) and sometimes you either have to explain/point out that (calmly! and rationally – and listen to their response and make a compromise if the compromise is reasonable). unfortunately sometimes you have to accept that, if this person cannot acknowledge your efforts or try to find a middle ground with you, you cannot be happy with them.
      You should know that I am someone who believes strongly in internal/personal control of one’s life. I recognize that there are some circumstances that come about that you can’t control but I do believe that you are the only person who can make the changes needed to improve your happiness. I can’t say what’s happened in your life that things are as they are today for you. I don’t know you at all. I recognize that making the necessary changes could be really really hard to make without any other support person to help you. But try to take one small step at time. Try to establish a stable job (recognize that this job may not be something you enjoy and you may have to “wear a mask” while at work. at least until a better option comes along. sometimes you have to suck it up for a bit for financial security/independence). Create a budget and stick to it. Make sure this budget includes setting aside savings. When you have some savings built up, rent a reasonably priced place by yourself (dump the boyfriend if he wasn’t listening the conversation about compromises and sacrifices). Through this process try to surround yourself with things that make you feel positively about yourself: drop in/inexpensive volleyball offered by the city, inexpensive/drop in dance classes, hikes/park walks, see people that make you feel good, photography, read at library, drawing. And I know it sounds bad, but sometimes you have to separate yourself from the current people in your life for a little bit to allow yourself to start feeling better about yourself (and maybe be a little lonely for a bit but we’re aiming for a higher goal – you respecting yourself and finding happiness with someone who respects you). Then when you start reconnect with people you are better able to recognize who is bringing you down and be able to curb that sooner.
      You clearly have been through some pretty terrible treatment in your life and it something to consider that you may do better with counselling (maybe with medication depending on many many many things). I am a huge advocate of cognitive behavioural therapy and interpersonal therapy. These teach you life coping skills and how to monitor and anticipation the reactions of others to your actions/words and how to respond to people to create the most beneficial outcome of a situation. If I knew what I know now about them when I was younger (and they were free where I live at that age) I would have gone into them. You may have insurance that would cover this or their may be programs available that would help cover their cost of these. A good place to start would be a family doctor or walkin doctor and they should have some idea how to get started wherever you live. If that doesn’t pan out and cost in a barrier for you you could ask at some kind of income assistance/employment office (that’s what we have where I live).
      I am reading that you are concerned that you think about hurting yourself but then feel that people will just think you are looking for attention. To me, that sounds like you are asking for help and wanting a change. And maybe the people in your life are not able to recognized that but a healthcare professional should be able to recognize this. Bad things happen but in the end its up to you to decide how much that past experience with affect you today (by asking for help to try to move passed it if you need to). It will be a process, I am sure. It will take time. It will take small steps. You can do it.

  12. what if you don’t believe in god. while i respect every individual’s choice to their own belief system. i don’t believe in God and recognize that it is sometimes used as an excuse to externalize “blame” instead of accepting the consequences of one’s actions. Can ted bundy really say ‘well, God made me this way and he love me’? – as an extreme example.

    • It’s ok I don’t believe in Jesus either, part of me wants too but it’s just too incredible and if I really believed I’d have to do a lot more good for other people than I’m doing now. But He helps me anyway, if you’re ever in a bad way just ask Jesus for help.

      • Steve, god will always help you. Helping people shouldn’t be seen as work. Helping should just come naturally and I’m sure it does. People help more then they realize. God is miraculous and merciful and will help anyone who asks!

      • Steve, God only requires your love, you are under no obligation other than that, I sincerely hope that you will make him your Lord and Savior today.

    • Good question. I do believe in God but respect your honesty in saying you don’t. But if you think about it, even if you say you don’t. ….we are all born with some type of morals. We know rite frim wrong. Even a serial killer! If they didn’t then why would they hide the bodies? And God didnt make them or i ” that way”. Believing that is a calvinistic belief and i struggled with that and their are some very arrogant christians who believe this way. God forbid they ever have to live in pain or watched loved ones struggle with this and feel that they cant change. I’ve always believed God existed. I didnt grow up christian but just accepted Christ four or so years ago. I was sexually physically, and mentally abused throughout my childhood and I struggle with self-worth Still to this day. I used to believe God Wanted NOTHING To Do WITH ME. And if He is such a loving God why was my innocence taken at age four. The answer is SATAN. God gave us the choice to accept Him or deny Him. The ppl who were supposed to take care of me chose to NOT protect me. Free will. Satan is the father of lies. He lies to me everyday and I have to choose not to listen and sometimes I fail. But God has entrusted me with five kids and an amazing youth ministry so I’m choosing to help others and He is keeping good in His promise by working all things out for the good because I love Him. So back to if you don’t believe in God……we still have a choice. And no disrespect cuz I’ve pondered God’s existence and have seriously considered suicide. Because what truly is the purpose of life without God if He doesn’t exist? My answer was, ” I’d rather live like He does exist and die and wake in His presence and spend eternity with Him than to die and be wrong and be eternally separated from Him” .

  13. good words 🙂

  14. Pray to Jesus He will help you. He doesn’t like me much because I’m a loser and don’t do what He asks, but he helps when I need him bad, like when I eat too much and start feeling self hatred. He doesn’t make things perfect but He picks me up off the ground, give it a try nothing to lose!

    • What made you think God doesn’t like you much. He loved and loves you so much that He died for you and took upon all the sins of the world upon His shoulders. Jesus entered and went through hell for us without God “my God my God why have You forsaken me”…. so that “it is finished”. So that we may live in the light of Gods love for us if we choose to.

    • How can u not believe in God but pray to Jesus and still say that he helps u? I am a Christian and love God with all my heart and he has helped so much and I’m only 13. I am glad that when u need him most u pray and ask for help, but maybe you should think about asking God to be your heavenly father so that you can have a more permanent happiness. I am not saying that when u become a Christian u never go through pain or heartbreak because u will, But what matters is the way u deal with things. God loves u he always has and always will, and his heart breaks every time you are in pain or doing the wrong thing. But he will never abandon you, not ever. And remember Christians live by faith and not by sight.

    • Steve you are not a loser! Look at you! You are encouraging someone to live! God loves you no matter what you do! Keep helping!

    • God loves you and there is nothing you can do to change that. NOTHING. He hates sin but loves the sinner. This thought alone should change your life forever.

  15. I am a person who didn’t have dramatic or I should say as dramatic occurrences in my life so far compred to others. I have a home and im lucky to go to school. My parents are together and don’t fight. Im lucky, but I still cant accept myself or be happy with the person who I am. We’ve had many assemblies in my school about self esteem and acceptance and suicide. but I cant accept how I look how I see my self characteristically wise, I hate my self. Ive began to eat less, essentially I thpught it was because I was doing sports and it was but its been a month sinse stopping, I eat a slice of an apple and im stuffed. I feel happy when I am hungry, it no longer bothers me is a better phrase. I know the effects of eating disorders and its cary. I know or at least hope know I don’t have an eating disorder. but these problems that I am putting my self through I know isn’t good. I suffered feeling this way before and it was very close to the point of me cutting myself. I don’t want that again. If anyone has gone through the same thing, can they please give me some advice on how I can possibly change back to a regular teen I thought I was.

    • I know i’m late to respond, but I want you to know that I’m going through the same as you do.. I haven’t cut myself yet, but my thoughts want me to.. I’m fighting my thoughts everyday. I thought that I was a normal teen with a normal family and some friends. but when my best friend got depressive and started cutting herself, I lost it. I knew that when I got too much involved with her that I would do the same as that she was doing, just because I wanted to take some pain from her – So she could feel better. But I refused myself, I haven’t been a good friend to her. And now she is the happiest person I know and I’m the depressive one ( I guess). I have been trough a lot things lately and I’ve never told my ‘friends’ about that. I wanted to show them that I was the strongest one. The one who never did anything wrong and the one who saw everything in her positive eyes. But I’m not. I was pretending and nobody saw that. Now I’m sick of it. My thoughts are nothing but negative and my ‘friends’ don’t like me anymore because I’m not happy enough for them.. (They literally said that in my face) I can tell them the truth because when I want to, I get scared of loosing them or confronting them. Now I don’t eat much anymore. I stopped with eating normal. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to change back to the normal, happy and positive minded teen I was before. Just like you do. I can’t find any help either.

  16. i hate mylife even if im happy

  17. What if you’re an Atheist?

    • YES! Thank you, this was making me feel better up until the God part…

      • Think of God as “Good Orderly Direction”. It helps….

        • Good orderly direction. I really like that.

          • thanks

    • I think this is. Quite religious site idk

    • That’s what I was thinking

    • Just don’t dwell on that part

    • You deserve respect too. God loves you.

  18. god abandoned me, if god loves me so much how about i go and see him and ask him why he let me be tortured for years and made me experience what no 17 yo should have to go through

    • 17 i was raped he took my virginity may i add im a pastors dauther got married at 18 my husband died in bed with me sleeped all night to wake up to a corpes so much more to long to list BUT I GAVE IN AND SERVED HIM JESUS well its my testmony im healed set free and so much more happened to me to bad to say but hes always there its up to us who wee will serve him or satan and im telling you he thinks no more of me then you he loves you He came to set the captives free your mess is your testimony that is going to help other ppl only god can heal you

    • God didn’t abandon you, he only put you in special situations as a test , to see how would you react ,really God exists , don’t think that way. Every bad thing happens in your life or in the world has a reason . And after that bad things , comes good things!!

  20. Many of us have struggled with anger at God, too. We had to search and find answers to our questions and healing for our hurts. Our HopeCoaches want to walk with you on this journey https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

    • … Being an atheist isn’t synonymous with “being angry at God”. The term atheist actually means not believing such a being exists… One cannot be angry at an entity they don’t believe in……….

      • Sarah, people have a reason for not believing in God. I respect those whose choice is to be atheist. No matter what you believe in though, the God I believe in loves you no matter what you’ve done or said. We are all fighting a battle. My battle is that my parents are divorced and they are going through a custody battle that never seems to end. Not to mention, I am in love with someone who doesn’t love me and it’s my fault he doesn’t love me. So yes I hate myself a lot of the time and get depressed easily. But I am lucky because my friends(other than him) and even my parents still accept me and love me for who I am. I needed the hope line a lot since about third grade(progressingly worse since then). This year I am trying out for cheerleading and volleyball. I’m trying to change what I dislike about myself. I hope this helps!

        • Its because of people like you that I’m an athiest. If I don’t believe in God, I’d rather not have people telling me that this entity I don’t have faith in loves me.

      • A large number of atheists do though! Why else do they become so offended and hostile at the mere mention of His name?

        • I believe Atheists (or at least most Atheists) don’t get offended whenever someone says God or
          Jesus, because I think they hear those names alot, but it’s used in a
          surprised context, not a religious one. (“Oh my God!”, “Jesus Christ!”,
          “God!”, “OMG”, “OMFG”, ect.) However, when people of religion insult us
          and say horrible things about us (like the Fox & Friends Woman who
          said “If they don’t like it, they can just leave.”), THEN we have a
          right to get offended and hostile. I’m pretty sure people of religion
          would act the same way if someone said that about their religion,
          wouldn’t they?

        • hmm, it looks like you’ve had some bad encounters with ahtiests. try to ignore, but also keep in mind that not all athiests want to mention god or get angry. Just the same as christians, some of them want to go to church some of them don’t want to. I have a catholic grandfather and a christian grandmother, they however do mention god to me but don’t force feed it to me, they don’t really go to church anymore since they were 40 (They’re now 85-7) so yeah.

  21. Exactly what am I supposed to do if the things I hate about myself is unchangeable? I honestly hate mostly everything about myself and I can fix most of it but my skin is unchangeable. I have really bad acne and acne scarring and I’ve tried everything, not even dermatologists know what to do about it. Every time I look in the mirror I just want to cry. Honestly, I’ve always been told I’m worthless and ugly and that I’m never going to be good enough in any aspects. I believe that 100%. I’ve tried to get into groups and clubs, etc, but I’m disowned because I’m so different. Even in my youth group I am. All the girls are so much prettier than I am and I hate myself so much. I can’t change how bad my skin is… I kinda just want to stop trying and cry.

    • I read a quote somewhere that says “beauty is only skin deep but ugliness goes all the way to the bone.” I really believe it’s the truth. Those supposedly beautiful people who told you those horrible things are uglier than you can imagine. If any of them have a shred of humanity, I guarantee that they feel the weight of their actions every moment of every day. I went from being bullied to becoming a bully in an effort to be accepted and can’t seem to forgive myself. I was a hero when I stood up for my friends but ended up becoming a villain when I joined in the bullying of others. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. Giving in to the pressure just to take the focus off of myself is one of the most selfish things I’ve ever done. Ten years after graduating high school, I’ve learned that most adults are still stuck in that mindset. I understand looking out for one’s self, but….! A lot of us just need to take a step back and see where we’ve gotten ourselves and how we feel about the people we’ve walked over to get there. That alone makes me feel justified in hating myself. What am I supposed to do about all the stuff I haven’t mentioned in this post? Nicole H, if someone tells you that you are ugly or not worth anything, don’t hate yourself. Pity the ignorant jerk who knows no better and go on with your day with the knowledge that your spirit will easily outshine their short lived looks 100% of the time.

  22. Ken, sometimes it takes us awhile to get to and read all of the comments we receive. I hope others will read your post and respond. I can understand how hard it is to see suffering all around you and to question who God really is. One of my favorite characters in the Bible is Thomas. He sometimes get a bad rap being called “Doubting Thomas,” but he was courageous enough to ask the tough questions in order to find the true Jesus. Ken, keep asking the tough questions until you find the real Truth.

  23. Thank you for this post. I am going through the end of a very hard relashonship and he is very verbally abusive to me. I always hear how worthless I am, how much nobody wants me around, and that I’m a poor parent. It’s difficult for me because I have been the only one holding a job ( I lost my job a few weeks ago) he will not work at all. And he will not leave. My landlord is for closing my home and I have no Money and nowhere to go. I’ve been searching for work but when I’m home I can only find my self on the couch depressed and wondering why I am here. Nothing I do is good enough for this family in his eyes. And he has tore me down so much my self worth is completely out the window. It gives me hope that God is there and that he has a wonderful plan for me. But it’s so difficult to pull out of this depression and be the best I can be. I am so overwhelmed with losing my home and having so much trouble finding work that I do feel worthless. I try so hard to tell myself that I’m not but he does his best to say the worst things he can to bring me back down. I’m going to work as hard as I can to do the things in this post day by day to better myself and move forward. Thank you for posting and reminding me that I can get through this and despite him I have god and people who love me.

    • We are so proud of you. You are making progress in the right direction. Remember we are just a phone call away and we can provide additional resources, too. Call or chat with TheHopeLine 24/7. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We are here cheering you on!

  24. I never realized my problems stemmed from hating myself and trying to be perfect, been seeing a councilor and its starting to help, I just recently did something stupid and embarrassing again and I hated myself for it and I want to change, I have a hard time in conversation not knowing what to say that has been getting better, sometimes I have suicidle thoughts I really want them to stop, not sure how, sometimes through the day im in outer space in the past or in the future how do I stop this?

  25. Why?

  26. I’m a boy from India with age 18 and bmi 14.4 and it is the only reason i hate myself because even the dosctors says i cant gain a single kg. I’m scared of the future because i have to look after a family but i’m too weak and i cant accept it and i dont want to accept it. What should you do when your living in such a condition that you cant change but at the same time its impossible to compromise ? Suicide ?? NO!! i’m not a coward but I need a way.

  27. Ive felt that way and this article is beautiful especially the part of God i didn’t realize ive been selfish hating someone he created,myself and i felt a knot in my throat…so beautiful.

  28. i feel I have a very good reason to loathe myself. I am bipolar. Seems like everyone assumes we are crimes just waiting to occur. I am not going to kill myself. Just hide from the world that hates me so much and spend the rest of my life alone. Goodbye, Cruel World!

    • You are Loved My friend. You will find peace one day. God will take you in and warm your heart. He will show you not to fear life and love. God can show you the light of the world and the bright in the dark. I have been a self loather for far too long and Jesus Christ and his loving father can show you the true path to Happiness.

  29. What if i did a lot of mistakes to God? Do i still deserve Him?

    • You are not the first to feel this way. We are human we make mistakes…we sin. God is love and His love for us is unconditional. All fall short, but God freely gives His grace to us. He knows each of us individually and loves us personally. His is a mighty love that has no beginning and no end. If you’d like to talk more about this…a HopeCoach would love to listen. Call 800.394.4673 or chat online at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  30. How do you get through it if you’re unsure about God? I can’t pray to him if I don’t understand why I’ve been struggling with this for almost 10 years. I get a little better and then slip back into the hole. I went to church, went through all the Catholic sacraments. Then when I did try to reach out, I started having panic attacks. I haven’t been the same since then – it’s been an ongoing battle trying to function as a productive adult. I’m not asking as a way to spark a debate about religion or the existence of God, but if you don’t believe or can’t believe or are unsure about all of it, what do you do?

    • Hello Kaylee, Even if you don’t believe yet, just talk to Him. Just talk to Him like you woul d a best friend. Tell Him your problems and ask Him questions For me it helps to write to God.

  31. ive been having a rough time lately, I felt like I was disappearing and no one noticed.. but this article and prayer to my one and only Jesus Christ has helped me to see that im here for a reason. I read some previous comments about how if gods real why are these people suffering and other things like it. it took me a while to realize this also, I use to doubt my faith but god gives the hardest battles to the people who are strongest and sometimes he sees there getting weak so he calls upon them.. gods love is always here for you.. that hasn’t been so clear till now.. and if you choose not to believe theres nothing wrong with that because i know where you come from. its not easy finding yourself or what you want to believe in. but if theres one thing you should tell yourself is carpe diem or seize the day, everday is a new start.. be the person you want to be.. its either now or never.. thank
    you for writing this article, reading it really me realize so much..

  32. I’n wildly unhappy with myself. I feel insecure about everything. The way I talk. I cry every single day. Help me. :'(
    The sadness is eating me up. I hate myself talking also.

  33. I’m with you. Right now I’m talking to my teacher. I really trust him. and its weird because I barely talk about my self because i don’t want to make it seem like I want attention. but you should really talk to someone who you know wont say nothing about you to other people. he promised me he won’t tell any one. and so far i haven’t heard nothing from my parents nor my counselor. whats wrong? what is bothering you?

  34. I feel like everything I do is wrong. Everybody criticizes me and now I believe I can do nothing right. Everyday my mom says I just mope around but I don’t mean too. She is constantly criticizing me even when I do something to help her out. Now I just hate myself. I’m constantly sad unless I’m out with my friends. Then Ivan forget about everything else. The bad part is coming home and being back where I hate myself. I shouldn’t feel this way. I live my family and I feel bad for them, having to put up with me being ‘mopey’. I want to stop but I can’t. I keep telling myself to stop but I always end up going back to acting miserable. Something is wrong with me.

  35. As am atheist the god one doesn’t really help. As for the other ones, well, easier said than done. Truthfully I’ve tried but trying to help the one person you hate the most is not as easy as this article makes it look like

  36. Have you ever felt like you hate yourself, you want to die, why did i belong here, everyone hates me, I’m worthless, I’m useless, anything like that well it happens to me all the time. Remember someone in this world loves you and they don’t want you to leave them. There is also god. God loves you. Just remember that.

  37. Ive always hated myself.. and I actually have depression and anxiety, so I kinda bit the bullet there. No matter what I try I cant seem to get myself out of this hole in my chest… Ive tried going to church {insert take me to church} and everything so far… my therapist said my depression was situational and wasnt even my fault. My mom pays a ton more attention to my brother, yes hes eight, yes hes autistic.. but he dosent need her there 24/7…

  38. Ive never been able to find my way out of this hole.. I tried all of these.. in diffrent orders and diffrent ways. but I never suceeded

  39. Really thank u for telling us this words it is really makes me fells better a lot

  40. This has inspired me. I get bullied a lot and I don’t like the way I look. I once thought of suicide but those days are long over. I have a few friends I talk to through the Internet and they make me happy. I think I can make it better now. THANK YOU!

    • Thanks for sharing, Blake! Never forget you matter and you are worthy…no matter what. 🙂

  41. Been feeling down today. Because of my own fault and because of others. Kept thinking “I hate myself” and couldn’t find my peace of mind. I’ve been badly hurt in my life, abandoned, mistreated, disrespected, victim of violence, abuse, psychological distress, pushed around, felt used, cheated, stressed, drained of energy, on the verge of self destruction. I’ve lost loved ones, been to more funerals than weddings. Killed the life inside of me. Lost love, hope, health, gains. Lost almost everything I worked very hard for. Sacrificed many dreams and wishes for the benefit of others, and was taken for granted and left behind after that. Felt like a doormat. Worthless, good for nothing, out of date. “I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE! I NEED TO MAKE A CHANGE! NOW!”
    Then I read this article and made the list of what I need to change, then of the
    ten qualities. Which turned up to be over 30 qualities just off the top
    of my head. Feeling much better now 🙂 How did I end up being so undervalued? With the right attitude, I could reach the skies! It’s a change that needs to be done asap and needs time to work. No over-night solutions.
    If you’ve ever felt like this and want to make a change, please, never stop trying, never let yourself be brought down by jerks who don’t care for you. Just keep fighting and stay strong! People like us should inherit the world!
    Problem is jerks have a head start: no issues to bring them down. They’ve been blessed with balloons under their wings. We, on the other hand, have been born with weights tied to our feet. So we have to try harder in order to lift up and fly. But that will make us stronger! And in the end, it WILL pay off! Now go and make that list, people!

  42. Well recently I have just been so depressed at myself, my best friend…. I deceived him… I got messed up and made out with his girlfriend. It was stupid. And now everyone hates me. Even my own mother. I never had a great bond with my dad he was usually never around. I messed my life up and soon will probably not be here bc I’ve had soooo much planned and I think it’s time to do it. So nobody really knows who this is. My name is Logan and I a very nice person after you get to know me. I’ve done some bad things that I’m not proud of but I’ve just heard I got to love with it. But what’s the point when NONE of your friends like you anymore not family,or just anyone. Well there’s nothing I’d rather do but die. I’ve tried cutting myself, getting into my brothers prescription bottle and popping 9 pills and tried to OD

  43. …that helps…if it’s that persons first time or to just lie to have “reason(s)” for yourself & just to keep going another day..if you are truly unhappy with yourself it hits you over & over again. I have already done all these things but nothing ever helps forever. One day you realize the old reasons to live are gone & than you have to make up something else..My cat, my boyfriend, whatever if you really are looking at the BIG PICTURE..you are NOT needed you may just be wanted..In the end we will all be gone one way or another..This world is so dumbed down..We work come home, watch pointless tv shows & news that keeps you from the real truths of what goes on, eat go to sleep..Do it all over. So what is the point to work our whole lives for a little freedom

  44. I’m really sorry, z. I have no idea what you’ve gone through, but I can tell you without a doubt that God has not abandoned you. He loves you. He will never forsake you. He is like a good father. He wants you to be able to solve your own problems, but he will be with you every step of the way. Please look up the poem “footprints in the sand”. It has helped me through a lot.

  45. I hate myself also even though I have a wonderful family and friends. I hate who I am!! Don’t know how to change this. I’m just so sad all the time and have no reason to be. I have no energy!! I feel like Im useless. I lost my Mom to Cancer in 2010 and she was my best friend. It’s getting close to the anniversary of her death and I always get depressed around this time. I have so much to live for but don’t feel like it’s worth the effort. My family doesn’t know how I feel and they would be shocked to read this. I’ve have a wonderful husband that doesn’t understand my feelings. I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, please help me!!!

    • You my friend.
      You need to talk about this to a HopeCoach.
      Like.. Asap.

  46. I hate my life..I know Christ and love him but I can’t even like myself.I have PTSD from a drunk driving accident. I was an alcoholic before I was even legal..I woke up from colma after being out a month with scars and permanent bumps..I had heart surgery on my 20 birthday..my boyfriend made me drive that morning..the hardest part is everyone treats me like I’m crazy Bc of it..but not moving on and succeeding in life has scarred me most..I have serious trust issues with men prob always will..my mother and me have a bad relationship.. Bc she wants nothing to do with me..I still live with her ..its been years and I’m still at her house sucking at life.. I’m not crazy it just looks like people that seem they care would actually do it..I’m tired of being the joke in my family..I’m really smart that’s what’s so sad..I never had money to get a degree ..I only lack 4 credits..the only thing I have is faith Bc All people will let u down in this cold world.

    • Valerie- It’s never too late to finish school and to start a new path in life. Our HopeCoaches are avilable 24/7 with encouragement and practical resources. We want to help you have hope! https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  47. I am 12. I hate myself. And I am planning on ending it all during the holidays.

    • Hey Willow,
      My name is Mia and I’m 13. I’ve also experienced a lot of self-hatred and depression and seriously considered sucicide last year. But now I’m so glad I didn’t! I’ve found that it’s small things, even things as small as your favourite TV programme every week, or music that you like that keeps me going. I really hope you talk to someone and get help. Good luck!

    • Willow
      Please let us know you’re ok! I have three
      Kids and one has considered hurting herself. It’s so terrifying to think of you being in that much pain. You are loved beyond measure and you have so much to look forward to…you just can’t see it right now. It’s like wearing a bad pair of sunglasses…the way you’re feeling is blocking what is really waiting for you.
      Sure hope you’re ok!
      *hugs*

    • It’s the hardest thing sometimes to love yourself, but remember that life gets better and easier, and you are worth it. Ask for help, reach out and don’t be afraid to talk to someone, anyone, you will be surprised what can come of it <3 Be safe, dear. You're not alone.

  48. Oh and to top it off, i have very rude neighbors who are loud and abnoxious so i put up a 6ft privacy fence to shut out the world at the cost of $ 22,000 and one built a “deck” that looks into my yard and the other, over 80yards away put a second story balcony and now waves at me when i exit the back door…

  49. Everyday I’m told I’m loved, asked if I know how much I am loved. And I always answer yes, but I do not mean it. No matter how many times I’m told I am loved, o cannot believe it, I feel unloved. I’m coming undone, is what a close friend of mine said and began worrying about me each time she saw me cry. But I still don’t see the love, and it goes over to me wanting to physically harm myself.

  50. Thank you so much for this article! Not even half way through I started making a list of everything I’m grateful for. I started to feel a little bit better and began my list of things I like about myself. I may not have been able to reach 10 yet, but every time I think of something new I’ll go back and add to the list. I’ll re-read these positive thoughts about myself even if they’re not so concrete. (Ex. Sometimes I can be funny) I have hope that God will give me strength and that the feelings I’ve been feeling for what seems like a very very long time will soon come to an end. Once again, thank you.

  51. Pain…then numbness,twisting thoughts of the passed and future,when i was younger i learned to shut most of my feelings down but not all i had to leave a releaf valve to vent so i would not crack,when i joined the army they helped renforce this to almost perfection,so for almost 20yrs i didnot feel anyting but anger,rage..well thats what i turned the pain in too,no love,no remorse or regret,long story short i’ve bin married for 16yrs now last five ive bin trying to open up my feeling to improve my relationship with my wife..i know i love my wife but every time i go to open the door to my feelings, i start where i did almost 20yrs ago, and i was in love with some one else then and that where my pain starts,just crack the door and all hell breaks loose know im fighting through mental and phyical exghustsion just trying to close that door!!!!!; hate myself? ya ido, the passed has a way of catching you and being human and shuting down your feeling you just pick up right where you left off just like an alcholic you could be sober for 10yrs but just have that 1 sip and its like you never stopped drinking, im finding emotion are the same way, if i had uderstood this yrs ago i would not have gotten married,so unfair to my wife,im so fucking numb now i dont want to go though what i felt yrs ago, well ill stop rambling..how do i move on…i cant,… i do believe in christ my lord and saviour he has intervined twice that i know of for sure,who knows how many i dont know, i try to leave this issue at he’s feet, but i wounder if im to be punished, to have to deal with my emotions, i do not belive i can i feel it will kill me…i have to leave the door locked.

  52. You are going to be a strong person and able to help others who have been thru what you’ve been thru. It’s ok to grieve and to hurt. The healing will begin and part of that will be helping heal others. I am so glad you posted. I can almost feel the pain and desperation even though it’s just a post! I’ve been victimized in some terrible ways and have had to make myself keep taking one step at a time FORWARD. It is tough not to look back… I catch myself doing it all the time…but when I look forward and let myself be open…great people and great circumstances cross my path. The same will happen for you.
    You are a gift.
    *hugs*

  53. If God is real he’s supposed to know the future right? Well if that’s the case he knows who is going to he’ll and who isn’t. I don’t believe in God but, If he’s real I have accepted I am just a example for someone who will go to heaven cause I won’t.
    Everyday I think about suicide. I’m just too scared of what might happen. Hopefully I can overcome that fear so I can finally do it and be happy.
    I asked one to many questions about human nature and now I am stuck with the truth for life. Love isn’t real. People just keep you around to fulfill their needs. Change and they’re gone.
    Society just follows authority blindly and copies what others do. Like religion. We’re all just clones of each other. This is so depressing.
    I’ll never have a wife or even a girlfriend. I’ll never have a job I enjoy. I’ll never be special. I’ll never force myself to believe the lie that these things are not true. Oh well. Boo hoo. Not having any expectations is the best thing for me because I always fail.

  54. I thought I finally love myself. But it’s so hard do it when I hear how my parents think I’m not doing anything at all with my life when I am trying. It just makes it worse and I feel like disappearing forever, but of course I don’t know how to do that.

  55. You’re not worthless.

  56. Know that God loves you anyway.

    • Please have respect.

      • It is the greatest of respect to tell someone the truth!!

    • maybe god hates me. Equally plausible and provable

      • What kind of Bible proves that?

        • This is the English Standard Version – Romans 9:13 As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”
          The God of the Bible definitely does hate some people for some reasons. His love is not unconditional.

          • Yes god hates me I’m one of them. And I give up hopefully death comes soon

          • M I think that too but let’s both get out of this darkness together ok? I’ll pray for you. I hope you feel better soon.

      • It is neither plausible nor provable!! That is a remnant of something that a person with a bad heart told you.
        The truth is that if you were the only person on the planet, Jesus would have died just for you. There is no greater love that anyone could have for another than to lay down his life for you.

        • Sorry, i was being sarcastic. I tend to think that there is no god, though I don’t discount the possibility entirely. But there is no “proof” that god exists, nor any proof for said god’s feelings towards me. Therefore, I maintain, that god hating me is equally provable (or unprovable). Plausibility is somewhat different. I think it is more plausible that there is no god, but if there is a god, its an open question as to the plausibility of it hating or loving me, or even not caring one way or the other.

        • Love is something that is special. no one can love me without knowing me, or that love is false or shallow. If god loves everybody, relatively that’s not special at all and thus not love. If i can be sinful, mean, rude or rotten to the core and god still loves me then that love isn’t based on me as a person and nothing to feel good about. What’s the point of being loved when it’s not you being loved but more the fact that “god loves everybody” and there fore can’t hate anybody.

          • Jesus died on the cross for us then asked God to forgive US, don’t you think that’s enough proof of how special his love is? You know God knew you before you were even born and has always loved you the way you are. Its amazing he can love billions of people in the world, but he does not because he has to but because he DOES. He can do that because he’s God. “If i can be sinful, mean, rude or rotten to the core and god still loves me then that love isn’t based on me as a person and nothing to feel good about” haven’t you ever had someone in your life who can be annoying, or has a lot of imperfections but you still love that person? Also God would never make someone who’s only pure evil, may it be a murderer, a rapist, or any other.
            Oh and a famous verse: (John 3:16) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

          • God is love, he is also discipline, and so much more, to be loved by God is an honor, one not to be taken lightly, even though many go thru out their lifetimes ignoring this love, it is his desire that one day, they will awaken to the truth, and receive what he is so willing to give.

  57. He didn’t abandon you.

  58. There is no hope for me!! I’m aloser falling deeper in the pit with no chance of coming back up for air……………..Why bother?? no one cares anymore..they just judge me and have to always bring up all of my faults……………. Oh well, what is next. Everyday is a bad day…………;(((

  59. my whole life i have hated myself and i never felt that i was worth anything i still do i am 18 now and i have fallen into depression 3 times i have been mentaly and emotionaly abused my whole life i have been bullied called names like stupid, idiot, fattso, ugly, and the list goes on at the time i would ignore them a bit but also believe them to and now more then ever and i grew up in a strong spiritual family but i have fallen into this hole of selfhatred and i have alway believed in God and loved Him but when ever i would feel low i would always doubt it and the majority of the time now i feel low and i have gotten to the point of suicide but i was actually close to it to but i didnt do it and i used to always wonder if God loves me and i feel like he dosent at all i feel like he ignores me hates me thinks i am a loser i feel like no one i know friends family anyone loves me at all and since the first time i thought of suicide i have been thinking about it all the time since i had just turned 17 at the time a and a lot of people always say i have found my purpose in my life and i always think i have no purpose in life unless if my purpose is the be a miserable person in life and i have thought many times God why have you abandoned me and sometimes i think after that maybe because he was never with me because i am not worth his time i dont deserve anything in life i dont deserve life itself and i have felt this for so long that i think it is true and there is no hope for me in this so called ‘;beautiful life” it isnt beautiful and i feel like i am beyond help and i just want to end all the pain and the only way i know how to end it is by suicide and if i do go down that road and anyone i know that has read this i apologise

  60. this is terrible i forgot my swimming kit at home and everyone is laughing about me i asked my parents but they said no

  61. I hate myself and I need help. I feel like everyone hates me and I am not cared for. I have bad grades and get yelled at a lot. I need help.

  62. he never abandoned you, In those years of pain did you ever ask for help? get down on ur knees and pray and tell him everything u feel even scream at him telling God u feel like he has abandoned you, I know how it feels to be all alone trust me. But I was actually never alone not once God was always there I just needed to seek him. He loves u with all his heart, don’t forget that. (I’m only 13 and have been through an abusive step-parent, my mums best friend sexually assaulting me and nobody believing me, my real dad leaving me because I wasn’t good enough for him, and so, so, so much more, but through all of that God was there for me I just had to ask for help, and get on my knees and pray he has changed my life for good)

    • Your dad is a foolish man indeed.You are a wonderful person, and with God, you will reach your full potential.

  63. The only things that made me happy were my wife and kids, especially my daughter. My wife has left me so now all I have ate my children. And no, my wife leaving didn’t cause this. Ive never bern particularly happy, my wife and kids were just bright spots in my life

  64. thank you I am feeling so much better now but I still have hate…

  65. Im writing to everyone this is not me writing its God please dont ever think you are worthless or dont mean anything. I came down from heaven to die for you as a person through my son Jesus He died for all your sins. Please you are worthy i made you in my hand you mean everything to me. My daughter brittany who i am using goes through things but im there for her and i can be there for you just believe in my son Jesus Christ He died for your sins and wants you to know HE loves you. Believe He died for you and died for your sins and i raised HIM up from the dead and you will be saved. My Word is true you hear false things about me i am not evil i am justice i am Love Love you never knew the world love is not real thats lust. My love is unconditional love that never ending. if your hurting, in pain, sick, confused any negative feelings come to me and ill give you rest. Nothing can satisfy you accept ME. I am the creator of Heavens and Earth. Come to me. I will never deny you. theres an enemy out there whos evil hes trying to decieve you and bring you to disppear and live in sin i am the one who can free you from everything just call out my name, Jesus!!!,i am here. i love you all so much please dont be scared i got your hand. i overcame the world i can fight your battles you can not do it yourself theres a enemy whos stronger than you but I am stronger than that enemy. i overcame him his names the devil hes the deciever. dont be decieved hes the one who tries to lie about me so you dont believe in me. Dont believe that lie his job is to steal kill and destroy and i came to give everlasting life more abundantly trust me my children i got this take my hand dont ever give up i am here always 🙂

  66. It’s impossible to hate yourself. You might hate your body, your face, your bullies, your cancer, your friends or your job. You can even hate the decisions you make or the consequences you are living with. You say “I hate my life!” The only thing you really hate is that THINGS are not what you expect or want. You want your life to be better. For YOU. For your MIND. For your SPIRIT. That’s who you are. The reason you are depressed and suffering is because you want better for YOU. Because you love yourself. You love yourself more than anyone in the world does. Nobody thinks about you every second of every day. You do. Nobody cries harder for you when you suffer. If you had a child or a pet, you would be hurting whenever she were sick, sad or in pain. Because you hate her? No. Because you want things to be better. Because you love her. If you need to start somewhere, start there. Knowing that you want better FOR YOU. BECAUSE YOU LOVE YOURSELF.. I know we can get paralyzed by pain and overwhelmed with choices. It just takes gaining momentum. Let others help you. Let people help you make good decisions. Let people share your pain and your dreams. Set small goals. Get out of bed. Wash a dish. Cook a meal. Walk a mile. Write a diary. Everything you finish makes your life a little better. For you. The one you love more than anything in the whole world. You have what it takes to make things better. Even if asking for help is the only option you see. Do it. Remember, the fact that things should be better is only proof that you love you.

    • I don’t think you get it.
      Some people love themselves and know it – they also love the people around them. And they still hate themselves.
      I’ve made mostly good decisions in my life. If I want to feel warm and fuzzy, I could text any of at least 10 close friends to be satisfied that other people love me too. I have a good career, good life prospects, don’t do drugs… but I still find myself coping with feelings of emptiness of self-hatred. I feel that my day-job helps others (pharmacist) and I feel that I honestly make a difference in other people’s lives. And yet I hate myself.
      What’s a person to do?

      • You just said some people love themselves and they know it and still hate themselves. How do you explain that contradiction?
        The fact that you are coping and searching for a way to fill your emptiness strengthens the fact that you love yourself. Put yourself in the third person and see yourself as a child of yours. Your child’s life is good. He has a job, he doesn’t do drugs, he has friends he can say that love him, he makes good decisions yet he still feels empty. Do you hate him?Do you ignore his emptiness? Doesn’t look like it. You are on a website exploring these emotions in order to understand his emptiness and you ask ‘What am I to Do’? What is a parent to do? What is a loving parent to do? A hateful parent wouldn’t give a shit.
        I think you give a shit. Everyone gives a shit that’s why they feel empty. Emptiness is not hatred just like fulfilment is not love. The fact that you want better means you care about yourself.
        How do you treat a person you hate? Do you give him a job , keep him off drugs, tell him that friends love him? Help him with his emptiness?
        You are confusing emptiness and unfulfillment and depression with hate.
        I’m really happy that you love yourself so much that you care about your wellbeing and fulfillment. Truly. Please get some professional help. God bless.

  67. First four are good points but you lost me at the God one. Honestly, there was no need to include it at all; you may be Christian but that doesn’t mean that all of your readers are. Some of us are Atheist or (in my case) Agnostic, and being told “God loves you” means absolutely nothing to us.

    • No one is forcing you to visit this site.

  68. Hi ! I am Isabella and I am a foster kid today I was sad and hated myself for no reason at all…?But I read your post and thought maybe I should look at the good things right now ! I am getting adopted in a couple of months I have family I have a singing competition soon! I was told for 10 years by my step dad that I was ugly,stupid and other things and I believed it for the longest time…but sometimes I do but anyway your comment made me happy to see that I am not the only one like this ! Even though I am 14 and your a grown adult but that doesn’t matter !!! ??bye

    • Isabella, I am so excited for you – a new adoptive family and a singing competition! Wow! Wish I could hear you sing. Keep looking up and having hope!

      • God Bless you Isabella! You deserve to be happy! Keep on singing.

    • Isabella, I’m so glad that you realize the things your step-dad said were lies. You’re a smart girl and you’re beautiful. You are the apple of God’s eye! Keep singing and keep Satan’s wicked, ugly lies out of your mind! Hang in there honey!!

    • ((((HUGS))) Keep looking up, Isabella, your stepdad should have his mouth washed out with soap!! Nobody should talk to a child like that. You are one of a kind, a diamond in the rough. Keep on keeping on & Be blessed!!!

    • Isabella, I was in your very position many many years ago, I was in the foster system for many years and adopted at 14 years of age…..my advise to you dear girl NEVER EVER ACCEPT SOMEONES OPINION ABOUT YOU! NEVER PUT YOURSELF DOWN BECAUSE OF A PAST THAT YOU HAD NO CONTROL OVER! And ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING THAT YOU TRULY BELIEVE IN.

      • itz true kimfaye n plz pray for me also i need God to wipe my tears n i feel so lonely n im not a strong gals

        • God loves you very much. I pray He will give you strength and peace. You are precious in His sight. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

    • Isabella, I want you to know that you’re not alone in this, I’ve been a Christian since the age of 13 and I am now 48, I strayed away off and on and still struggling, there’s one thing I haven’t been able to let go and that is as a child I was always told by others that I was ugly even grownups would compare me to their kids and tell me how underdeveloped I was, even some family members would say that my olde sister was the beautiful one and to this day that’s what the devil attacks me with, although I look nothing like I did as an adolescent I still deal with this everyday, I’m sure you’re beautiful and graceful because you’re you and no one can be you, if only I can Believe this about myself it would take a huge weight I’ve been carrying around my whole life, remember this the person who tries to put you down usually is not very happy about themselves, God bless you girl you’re going to be huge in life!!!<3

  69. I’m sure there are plenty of feel-good sites out there that don’t bring God into your struggles. The writer of this article believes in God, so they are writing from that worldview.
    I’d suggest the answer to your question would be “Change your mind.” There’s a world full of compelling reasons for the existence of God. He created you and he loves you. Try finding out more of you’re curious…since you asked the question maybe you are.

  70. I’m at the point in my life now where I’m trying to figure out reasons why I should stick around. I seem unable to make friends and I seem to be unable to control my behavioral problems wich alienates everyone.I feel like like a monster that destroys everything feel so worthless and hopeless. all attempts I’ve ever made it getting help only get me kicked out of the places that are supposed to help me. you kick me out for the behavior and I’m coming in to get help for. I hate it so much I hate the way it makes people hate me I hate the way it keeps me isloated and on the road. I hate the way people look at me and think its my fault for being this way when I would give anything and everything not to be. even without the behavior I seem to miss social thing and people don’t want to stick around my life and I think part of the behavior is a defense mechanism so I don’t have to hurt and another goodbye. I hate being this way so much.what is the point of living in the world where is all about social and you can’t have any of it. all you have to do is watch people leave over and over again. why stay in a world like this my live at all if you are denied the very pleasures that make human life unique from all others.

  71. Hi guys do you ever get that feeling when you think you are the only person in the world who only feels bad about themself because growing up as a teen is really difficult and you just put yourself down.
    Nobody tells me im worthless or anything else i just think it myself
    It would be really interesting to find out if any of you guys are in the same situation

  72. God loves everybody, don’t remind me.

  73. Thanks for this Blog, it helped me a lot!

  74. Im useless and worthless

  75. I can’t do any of these. I have tried and tried and there is only one thing left. I just wish my friends and family wouldn’t have to suffer but oh well they never cared.

    • Hey Robert. How’s it going?

  76. I am twelve years old and am already considering suicide. I have no friends, and everyone at school hates me. Everyone on my street hates me. Everyone I know hates me. I hate me. You can’t change my mind. I’m sorry, that is I am sorry if you wanted to help. Pretty soon there will be one less twelve year old girl on the planet.

  77. Happy face…

  79. I don’t believe other people cause you to be an atheist. I believe this is a choice you have made about your own beliefs. A question to ask yourself might be why do the beliefs of other people bother you. If you want to chat about it, we are here 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ All chats are free and confidential. I hope you are able to find peace.

    • Really, why atheists bother other people? Are you sure you are not the one who bothers people with all this lies about the ‘only’ truth?

      • If you don’t believe in a god or the Abrahamic God why even comment on this post. You’re trolling and need to find a self love group that is made up of atheists. Period.

  80. I say these words about myself almost every day. Every time I make even small mistakes.

  81. I read this and it didn’t help me because I don’t want to change.

  82. When you say you don’t want to change, do you mean you don’t want to stop hating yourself? We have a free eBook that might give you some more answers – http://info.thehopeline.com/selfworth-ebook

  83. Hello! I feel distracted and i keep giving into temptations..I’m losing my faith in god.I am confused about everything…and worse, I can’t find myself doing anything to change myself and be better even though i desperately want to..I’m lost and the people around me aren’t making it easy..I can’t even talk to them coz I feel they won’t understand..I am soo confused about the emotions that I’m feeling…all I need is someone to talk to without being judged or put down…

    • We are here to talk. We do not judge and we want to help you sort through the things you are going through right now. Our chat lines are open 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  84. please help i hate myself and i hate my family because they don’t even care about me or love me and are always near my older sister and younger brother and they don’t treat me with respect any more. this is hard dealing with my whole family. Can’t even have a a good quality time out as a family because they leave me out with everything they do and I just sit there and watch them do something fun. this is my worst time of my life please help its really hard with them so munch. the only people who care about me and treat me with respect and always have love me is my nannie and grandad what are on my dad’s side of the family.

  85. I am so thankful you have the support of your Nannie and Grandad. My best friend moved in with her grandparents in high school because her mom remarried. Talking about it can really help. Our HopeCoaches are available 24/7 on chat – https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ We care about you!

  86. Im 39 and have hated myself for as long as i can remember. Nothing in my childhood lends to being a cause to this. Anyone have any advice on how to find the core of what started all the self disgust and loathing?? Im embarassed of myself so much i cant leave my house with my husband….im basically house bound.

  87. I am so sorry you are dealing with this and have felt like this for such a long time. At TheHopeLine® our HopeCoaches have resources for you that can put you on a path to healing. Please chat with us anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  88. Hi!! Today i feel so down after reading ur post …little relief …im alone i dnt know why i live …ma husband is a fun lover,always in parties get together ,night outs etc etc…
    Im very much alone in home .
    But now im planing to do things dat i love to over come ma alone ness…
    Thank u

  89. i was raped for 8 years of my life. And it has been 3 years since i have had sex. Last night i did and am having a pregnancy scare. every time i look at my boyfriend i end up hating myself.
    what do i do?

    • Love yourself. Love your body. And if there is life growing inside of you, that’s beautiful! Being a mother is the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. Your world gets turned upside down, but babies give you a reason to be joyful, to laugh, to love life and be filled with gratitude. She or he will fill your life and help you forget the pain of what happened in the past.

  90. I am set up to have a satisfactory life. I will be working a good job. I’m surrounded by people who love me. I feel that I honestly help others in their day-to-day lives. But I still hate myself.

  91. I cant say thank you enough. I really appreciate your advice

  92. Sad thing is… We both almost have everything in commen :’)

  93. I can understand because i failed in medical exams for 3 years and after that i completed M.Sc biotechnology…i dunt know wat to do now….but ppl still taunts meh….i seriusly want to quit the life

  94. Wow, you must be really smart and you are an achiever completing your degree. That is a great accomplishment. Please don’t give up. Let us help you, chat with us anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  95. hi

  96. That’s great! I have a reason to like myself. Sucks that I don’t believe that constantly! I’ve done self-harm. I love pain. Not because I wanted to love it. Just decided that if I can’t escape from something, I’ll make it the best friend I can. My mind curses everything all day. My unintelligent feelings love someone, but that makes everything worse because I can’t open my mouth around ’em. So no one with an opinion that matters like that one’s does, ever reaches me… to throw me into the sky in the middle of a sunless day. GOD! Help me!
    Thank you for the advice and encouragement.

  97. “I am in love with someone who doesn’t love me and it’s my fault he doesn’t love me.” TERRIBLE!

  98. Great advice, up until the bit about God. Anyway, i’ll take the good stuff from this article and ignore the rest, cherrypick if you will…

  99. i hate myself for being not successful as i thought and not keeping promise for myself. i’ m always discouraging people who cares about me. i’m the worst kind

  100. Reading the comments a seeing the valid reasons of why self hate and depression has risen makes me feel guilty. i don’t know why i dislike who i am and it often affects my attitude toward the people i love, and how i treat them. i dislike myself for my poor attitude and and sensitivity to topics that have no real reason to be upset about. i have lived a pretty privileged life and i should not feel this way and i am ashamed of myself for feeling the way that i do. i am selfish to worry about myself when people have real problems happening in their lives.

  101. I am in love with a girl but she doesn’t love me back. She is right who would date an ugly guy like me

    • Sounds like a mean girl to me. Don’t believe that lie. You are better than that. I bet you have many wonderful qualities. That girl doesn’t deserve you.

  102. I want to change but there is so much that had gone wrong. I’m doubtful about the future even though God already knows what is going to happen.
    Does anyone else feel this way?

  103. I can’t do anything right! I just wrote a huge long paragraph and deleted it by mistake. Just sums up the whole thing really. Lol
    I have hated myself as long as I can remember. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. The person who said she feels constantly at war with the voice inside her own head is so correct. I fight with this voice all day long every day. I am constantly exhausted but I feel like that is from the depression and an escape from reality. I have constant panic and anxiety attacks. I want to run from everything. I feel that I don’t complete or follow through with anything. I have been in two awful marriages full of abuse which have led to horrible childhoods for my two daughters. I can’t stand anyone watching me do anything and I can’t stand being interrupted which of course is a constant in life. I don’t want to succeed because it’s too much pressure to be constantly on my game but I don’t want to fail either because everyone else will know that I am useless. I don’t feel comfortable unless I am in drama, confusion or rushing or panic stricken. The list goes on and on and on. I have developed a way of constantly walking and pacing so I never actually finish anything or do anything. I can’t be still. I try to please everyone and end up pleasing no one least of all myself. I get caught up in small details and loose sight of the big picture. I can barely function. I analyze everything to a minute detail. I know rationally that a lot of these behaviors come from things such as the abuse but some I have always had. It’s so hard to explain but life is difficult. It’s a battle every single minute. How I ever got 60 college credits I do not know. The sadness and depression are constant.

  104. i often feel useless worthless and like i wanna die but i think of the people that love and get cot up thinking should i do it should i not i dont want to hurt the pople i love but i cant stop feeling like crap

    • I feel the same with you. It’s useless to live in this world.

  105. For the last 5 years I have started to go down really down my health and mental health I am now depressed on anti-depressants . I feel that I am a waste of space going nowhere I don’t enjoy anything and I can’t remember the last time I was happy,
    I hate feeling like I am a burden to my family and that they would be better off without me so then they would not be worried and stressed out because of me.
    When I try to be positive and think of the future all I see is a blank and unhappiness
    like a hole I keep falling down and can’t get out of.

  106. My entire family hates me, I’ve destroyed my childhood home by bringing pets in here when my mom died 4 years ago. So now nobody comes to visit and they ignore my calls or texts. I wish I had the money to restore the house but it would be so much easier to not feel.

    • I am so sorry you are going through this. I can imagine the pets were a way of healing from your mom’s passing. Maybe we can help you come up with some solutions. You can chat with us anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  107. Its a bit late to put comments under this post. But I want to take it into account as for numerous other things I’ve collected these days to help me make a fresh start, to change everything. So here I am writing, that I am willing to change, yet I’ve tried, countless times, but I’ve just tried, with no provisions. A friend of mine from Austin told me, if Im about to get into doing something I’ve never tried successfully, or tried and failed, I might better join in a community of people that do that stuff and that they know about it a thing or two, so that I could keep up, with help from that community, that if I fail, I get help to start again.
    One of the things I’ve tried to change about myself was my weight. For many years, since I was just a kid, but nearly a fat kid, I had this idea try to look thiner and lighter. To this day I’ve tried many diets, I’ve been in gym countless times to lose that amount of weight that would change my look. Al though I’ve got it to somewhere, but not the result I’ve always dreamt about. And that built the self hatred in me. Because I was never able to look they way I’ve always wanted to. So many people tried their shot to lose weight, and that one shot got them to their dream fit body, and I just sat there watched them.
    This dream almost covers every aspect of my life. Trying to achieve it affected my career, my personal life, the way people look at me. Almost no one takes me seriously when I say I want to change something since I failed too much in my diets , they think its just another one of those false shouts just to get attention.
    I want to change now, more than any time in my life. But I still wonder how start that I would never fail again.
    This article showed me some spark, wonder if its temporary or not. But either way it gave me hope. I want to try to put this in good use.
    Thank you for the article.

  108. I am a child from happy family. My friends always say that i have happy life and happy family. Actually, it seems I don’t have problem in my life but still I hate myself. I don’t know why.
    It seems that people around me are better than me. I feel like left alone in the world even I tried to change myself but get off from the track. I don’t know why I can’t be perfect like other people. Many people reject me because of my behaviors.
    I know God does love us because God gives this problem for becoming a person more stronger…
    Just I can’t live in this world. I always think that I wanna commit suicide , I don’t want to live in this world. It seems I have serious mental illness.. But just I want to become like other people. I always judge myself among them.

  109. I am so glad this article helped you and gave you hope! We believe in you and want to help. You can chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7. It is totally private and free. We are here for you 🙂 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  110. Hi, my name is Bella and even after reading this article I can’t seem to figure myself out. I have so many bad qualities that I hate myself for. I am clumsy, loud, and selfish. These traits seem to follow me whenever I go! There are times where they wear me down so much that I consider self harm, running away, and other bad things. Though I have never committed to any of these decisions, I feel like they cross my mind a lot. I feel so stuck and unfixable. I have never brought this up to my parents because I feel ashamed of the way I am and I think they will be too. They are both psychologists and I know they have heard much worse cases than I am going through. I am selfish enough the way I am and just don’t want to disappoint them. My parents opinion means a lot to me and I don’t want to mess that up. Thanks for anyone who reads this message and I will appreciate any sort of response. Thank you for your time.

  111. yes god love me even win i sins i still repent even win it hard to win i repent god make me feel like not alone this would .

  112. I try my hardest to ensure I’m kind to others to make sure that they feel like they can trust me and that I’m there when they need someone. I feel that I’m kind to other but it just never good enough, I suppose helping others out is a way of me try to escape my own feeling, I never want anyone to feel the way I do about myself, I never want anyone to contemplate if their life in this world is even worth living. This place this world I live in is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I’m never good enough, I’m ugly, Iworry too much, I’m annoying. I’m this I’m that. I’m I’m just alone and trapped in this unhappiness and I can’t get out. Why me ? I try so hard to do the right thing to be kind to be helpful to be caring and what do I get?! A reflection I dispise/hate and a mind I can’t escape.

  113. I try my hardest to ensure I’m kind to others to make sure that they feel like they can trust me and that I’m there when they need someone. I feel that I’m kind to other but it just never good enough, I suppose helping others out is a way of me try to escape my own feeling, I never want anyone to feel the way I do about myself, I never want anyone to contemplate if their life in this world is even worth living. This place this world I live in is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I’m never good enough, I’m ugly, Iworry too much, I’m annoying. I’m this I’m that. I’m I’m just alone and trapped in this unhappiness and I can’t get out. Why me ? I try so hard to do the right thing to be kind to be helpful to be caring and what do I get?! A reflection I dispise/hate and a mind I can’t escape.

  114. I don’t think God is real anymore. If he is he doesn’t think I’m real because he just doesn’t seem to care about my pain. Everyday I hope is my last. Where is my love? Who is the person for me? Life sucks and I’m just waiting to die. I’m just a burden to my family and the few friends I have probably think I’m too needy. I don’t ask for much, just one tiny sign that someone, anyone loves me or cares about me. Just a simple text saying “hello” or “how are you” would be enough to give me hope. But it never comes. If God really cared and was all powerful he could surely influence just one person I know to say “hi” when I really needed it. Just freaking “hi” or something. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of feeling worthless. I’m just tired. If something doesn’t happen soon I’ve been thinking of killing myself.

    • I’m sorry you feel alone and worthless. I’ve been through those emotions too. Still deal with them, from time to time. For me, it’s usually because I’ve forgotten who I am in Christ. I take my eyes off Him and start focusing on myself. But He is real and He is there. The Bible says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Find a church that preaches Jesus as the only way to heaven and ask for prayer. Please know you are not alone. And by they way, hi. Hugs. <3

  115. It was great for me until the point about god. I’d like to read more from this site, but does it focus heavily on god? If it does, this might not be the site for me.

  116. And what to do when you don’t hate just yourself but whole humanity?

  117. I have studied this for 30 years and found out that there is, in fact, a loving, compassionate God who is in control of the whole thing. Believe it or not, as hard as life is for you, just know that life is a school and you are all here to learn lessons. It’s not easy, often/mostly it is pure torture, but there is no way out except the top. If you kill yourself you just have to come back again a few years later and face all the same problems again. You have lived countless lives and still have such a long way to go before you achieve the end result, spiritual perfection, when you won’t have to come back to this plane of misery again, and will be in a position to help others on the long road back to God. Hang in there, try and keep positive, if things are bad for you right now, just hold on a while, we all have ups and downs. And even if there is no God, just know that people like myself and others who have suffered much in life love you, because we’ve been through it and can identify with you.

  118. I always thought that I am ugly and worthless and stupid and I always say bad things about myself to friends and a month ago I tried to hurt myself for no reason and all this steps made feEl a bit better thank you so much

  119. If God loves me then why am I so ugly, why do I feel so lonely and why did my mum die?

  120. This is all well and good, but it doesn’t actually help someone like me. “Just do it” doesn’t work.

  122. I can’t change anything. I could lose weight but that wouldn’t fix anything. I was raised around junkfood and people buying fast food all the time. My skin is gross, it’s supposed to be clear in at least some places, it’s not. it isn’t smooth and pretty. I’m big even if I lost weight. I’m a girl, and need to wax my face all the time. My jaw is crooked. Almost everything about me is manly. I want to dress cute and pretty sometimes but I can’t because I don’t look cute or pretty, so I just wear t-shirts and a jeans. People think I don’t care about things like clothes and makeup, even my mom says she’s glad I don’t care about things like that. But I do. I want to know how to do makeup. But even if I wore it, it would smear or look gross on my face. I want to be able to do my hair all pretty, but it’s already all hard. I want to dress cute but nothing about my body is attractive, so nothing looks good on me. People say “people love curves” but I don’t have the “curves” they mean. I want to try to look cute. but then it looks pathetic because I’m not and i want to be. I believe in God and I do believe he loves us. But why would he make me hate myself this much. It gets worse and worse. I just don’t want anyone to look at me, I don’t want to look at myself. I’ve tried eating healthier and lost like 20 pounds. But saw it didn’t make me like myself barley more then I did. So I just gave up and gained it all back again. My skin’s going to look gross even if I wash it every night, eat healthy. Because I try and try and lose all motivation. Why do I have to have all of these things wrong with me. But go to school and see people who have doll like skin WITHOUT wearing makeup everywhere. Or skinny perfect bodies just because of their genetics. Or jist even eyes, or a straight mouth. People three years younger then me wear makeup and dress much better then I do. Im only 17 and i already want to just want to give up on everything. Not saying to die, just give up on living my life as I do now. Quit schiol and just live in my parents basement forever and not see anyone again. Im beginning to hate myself so much, i’m getting mad at everyone around me for looking at me or talking to me. And not noticing anything.

  123. I am proud for you that you have overcome the terrible things that were said to you, NOBODY DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT!!

  124. You are still loved by God!! And nothing you can do will keep him from loving you. NOTHING.

    • I bet God did not like hitler

  125. But the truth is, He does!!

    • READ ABOVE POST!!!

  126. Praise God, Whom the Son sets free is free indeed!!

  127. Jesus can change your life, please give him that opportunity, by asking him today!!

  128. hi, I am joseph i’m not naive,good,smart and handsome but I’m still trying my best to do something I actually looking for activity so when I got bored I have activity I know I have no friend because i’m new student and I don’t speak english the people around me are teasing me they are doing that because they thought I’m not that brave but i’m I remember I defend myself before I let them win So I tried to tell the teacher that they’re doing something to me…picking a fight of course but I hate that…. well done…now that I’ve proven to myself that I can change… with or without friend…. I’m actually 14 years old.

  129. I really appreciate your honesty. It is good to ask questions. I think you might be surprised by how much proof there actually really is about God’s existence. If you want to talk more about we are available online for a one-on-one chat anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ We are non-judgemental and we care about you.

    • I appreciate your earnestness, but I’ve heard many of the arguments. I have good friends with advanced degrees in theology and/or who are priests and reverends. We’ve had many a long, interesting talk. For me it boils down to the arguments Lewis made in Mere Christianity…if you accept this premise, the rest follows. I don’t accept the premise however, because there isn’t evidence for it.

  130. No body ever told me I’m worth less but I still feel it. I tell my parents I’m fine all the time when I’m not. I have tried to kill my self but no one knows except the people who is reading this. My parents are never home and I have no friends. I can’t talk to my family including my parents who are never home. I took a depression test online and I have depression. I am emotion less. I know that because the last funeral I went I did not cry at all and I was really close to them; I can not ever laugh. The people who died I never want to see them or meet them again even know I was close to them. I wonder shouldn’t my parent’s tell if I’m depressed. I can not handle this so I’m thinking about killing myself. No one will ever tell that I’m going to because my grades is always up and my behavior never change.

  131. Ok

  132. everyone hates me… I need help all my friends are fake…. should I just never talk?….

  133. It is really important to let someone know about your depression. Are there any teachers you can trust? If your parents aren’t around much then they are probably not aware that you are depressed. You can talk to us anytime https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  134. Thanks for your honest reply. Which premise do you not accept? Do you believe Jesus was a real person on earth? Thanks for continuing the conversation.

    • it seems likely that there was a person who fit at least some of the description of jesus, yes

  135. It is important to read the whole Bible so that you understand the context, events leading up to this statement, and the original Greek and Hebrew languages. Esau rejected and hated God by his actions. He gave away the blessing and favor that was God-given and outright rebelled against God. Additionally, the Greek word translated as “hate” actually just means to “love less” in order to compare how great and large is God’s love and compassion that He still has compassion and love for the one who hated God.

  136. I don’t even know why I came to search up this stuff.. I just found myself for more then a year already daying that I hate my life, pulling out my own hair, drinking until I don’t understand anything anymore.. I am a lucky girl, atleast that is what everyone says, I have more then alot of people could even dream of. Maybe that is my problem.. It is not at all that I hate myself or my life, I am just bored with myself and.. I just don’t know

  137. For years I’ve been called loads of names like ;
    -ugly
    -fat
    -stupid
    -annoying
    -wannabe
    -fake
    -teachers pet
    -poor
    -e.c.t
    As much as people try to help I still hate myself and it doesn’t help that I’m the ugliest in my class. All of my class are around the same height and I’m the tallest so it’s easy for me to feel shut out. It’s hard because nobody understands and I’m starting to consider taking my life
    Somebody please help me

  138. i hate my body, it’s not about how I LOOK OR IF I’M FAT, I just hate my body and my life now in general…it was sooo good and peaceful and happy before and now everyhing has chage, AND I JUST HATE CHANGE IN GENERAL, changes in my life, my body evrything has to do with change,
    especially when i’m about to change my classes, my friends, people who imeet, everybody is going to judge me, i just want tobe normal and go bak to my OLD SELF, it’s just no fair and I don’t deserve this, I’M JUST A KID.

  139. I am Raphaela,i am 15 years old and i am really sad because i hate myself.Not because i feel fat or ugly but because i dont care about myself.For example i dont want to eat or laugh(however if i laugh i just dont like it,i think it makes me stupid)or care about my school grades.i am not special,i am just a person like others.Sometimes i care more about others than myself.I dont have purposes and i dont know what i want to do or be.I also really like talking with people or going for walks.Friends are the most important for me.

  140. I’m adopted and I have felt the same way. It’s a lifelong struggle but it is worth fighting for my happiness. <3 I'm doing a lot better now and I totally understand the feeling of not belonging. Band has helped me to feel like i belong, and my family is so much nicer than they used to be. I'm so grateful for having this struggle, it has helped me become much wiser and stronger.

  141. You are valuable and God loves you dearly. We care and we are here to listen. Chat online with one of our HopeCoaches at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  142. I have scaring acne I got when I was about 19 before had clear skin, over the years my self esteem has gone way downhill, at first I hardly even thought about it, now I just want to die everyday, I have a dead end job as a desk clerk at a hotel, I have no license or high school diploma, I live in a studio apartment by myself and can’t find the motivation to ever leave besides to walk my dog. I love to cook but suck at it and love beat boxing but I suck at it. I do what I can to improve, seems so hard to get it together with no money but I know money and things don’t matter but I find myself having to spend my checks on things to try to fill some sort of hole, mostly cookware ext. I just wish nobody would miss me. I wish my dog could forget about me and my family would just move on. I’m not going to off myself especially with my dog around. But that’s the only thing stopping me. Idk what my brothers would do. They come to me with everything .. my mom is so sad and my dad is in prison and me n my aunt are the only people who visit and she doesn’t want to do it. If God exists : / and he could give me anything, I would not wish to be happy with myself I would just want the world to forget about me and be happy themselves..

  143. I am a TRAGIC HERO! If I am feminine in my core (which is something I can’t change), I DON’T WANT TO BE HAPPY because I SHOULD NOT BE HAPPY!

  144. I hate myself many times

  145. I am thirteen and I have dispanded my self from everyone ever since I was diagnosed Tourettes and OCD I did that because I thought that I was different and not as important as them because of my flaws I began to be terrified of other people just in case they found out and made fun of me or bullied me because of it I began hating who I was and always screaming at my self (I’m my mind) I was screaming things like why can’t you be normal you stupid worthless girl but reading this helped me get over that I got back in touch with my friends and told them about my problems and they have helped me so much so I just wanted to say THANK YOU you helped me when I needed it the most and for anyone else who hates their selves just remember you are one of a kind and no one can replace your amazing qualities!

  146. Hi I’m naoual, and I just turned 16
    ..i used to hate myself, but at one point, i accepted myself with all my flaws, and decided to hate the world instead
    Im still suicidal although i didn’t cut in a while, and i started smoking less, but im really not satisfied because of the people and mindsets around me…

  147. Im16, ur usual average girl. I loved a guy gave him my everything.was absolutely in love with him.dated for 2 years. He said he wasnt happy with me and left. Never told me why he wasnt happy. I still have to see him everyday at school. It kills me inside. I hate everything about myself. Yet no one else knows that im not okay.. Fake it till you make it right????

  148. Hey, i dont know how this works, but im needing some advice on everything i am!!!??
    For years ive tried to live a righteos life, tryingto uphold a strong family name. But i find myself every now and then making stupid decisions which puts me in a self hating and destructive path.
    A hole i reside in for a couple days!!!
    Lost my mother when i was 10 to a hit and run accident, and my father died when i was 21 and my grandmother, who raised me at 22
    I try to find a reson as to why i do somethings but i know better but cant escape this loop!! Im getting sick of it and just want to be happy!!

  149. Hello everyone, this is what I made. Soemtimes I feel depressed, I don’t know if I am… Help me?
    Pain
    My mom and dad don’t like me like how I am, my brother doesn’t even see me. My friends, let me down when there is a chance. Is it my fault, what am I doing wrong? Sometimes I look in the mirror I see failure, a fool. I never show, but my thoughts kill me already. The scars on my hands are less painful than the words people scream to me. I am too short, too fat, not smart enough, ugly, a drama queen, but can’t you see it? It’s just who I am, I am a short, fat, ugly, dumb drama queen. Unfortuantley people don’t appriciate me, how I am. The only one who can read my thoughts, is pain. The pain inside of my body, the pain inside of my head. They don’t know, but they will.

    • I can relate to you. I’m dumb, fat, short, ugly, unworthy, lazy, tiring, untalented, poor nobody. And a coward, I can’t even self-harm or commit suicide because I’m too scared and cowardice to feel the pain of it.

  150. I hate myself and so do my family. I have a problem which I can’t help and whenever there is an argument (there are lots of them) it is brought up and used to make me feel 100x worse. I really hate myself because of it and my siblings use it to bully me. I can’t tell anyone and I’m all alone. I wish I didn’t have it and even my parents use it to make me feel guilty and bad. I need help please.

  151. I was reading the comments, and I want to share my problem. I believe in god, and i had a happy childhood, I am not even angry at anyone. I have a good job with a very understanding and well-hearted manager. My parents love me a lot. What i am trying to say is that i can’t pinpoint that this is the problem in my life.
    I just am not happy. Nothing excites me. I am not excited by anything. When i think about women, only thing i can think about is betrayal, money makes me think about it’s uselessness and Consumerization, fame – it’s emptiness, power – it’s brutality, sharing my feelings -to be made fun of.
    There’s nothing in this world which excites me. And then there is small stuff which makes me hate myself. It feels like all my hopes since childhood, big and small is breaking, one at a time(which tells me, we should not watch movies too much). I have realised i am not going to be anybody great, and i okay with it in theory, but everyday i hate myself a little more to not be that guy which i thought i would be. and then i think i will have many small good things in my life, but can’t think of anything good that i would like to happen in my life(already ruled out women, fame, power, and money). What is the profit of living a life when there is no possibility of hope of tomorrow being better than today, and especially if you hate yourself today.

  152. I think this is a very helpful resource. I’m atheist and I know that other people of other religions can still find this useful.

  153. Because of the acne and excessive facial hair it sounds like you may have another medical problem in addition to depression. I suggest you discuss those problems with your primary care doc or gynocologist. As for your weight focus on being the healthiest you can be not necessarily trying to measure up to someone else’s definition of the perfect body.

  154. Went through 3 years of depression 2013-2016, I’m not suicidal anymore. I just keep getting rejected. I want to make friends but people think they are superior than me because I’m deaf and blind. Been deaf and blind since Kindergarten. and I’m a senior now.

  155. Why would he put us in special situations? To see how brave, strong and confident we are? Or just for fun? They do say that going through bad things will make you stronger, but, I honestly feel like dying right now. I’m too afraid and I’m a coward so that doesn’t help what I wish to do. I can’t even gather the courage to do one thing, putting me in a special situation didn’t really help much. Even if it will in the future, I don’t want to be alive to experience it, even if it means that I became a doctor or I became more intelligent. I just want to die.

  156. I don’t have anyone to share my pain and dreams.
    What if my problems is I can’t achieve my goals that I set for myself because I’m a stupid, lazy, useless person?
    I don’t get how I can love myself.
    The things that are not what I expect is myself.
    My problems are the reason why I can’t do many things like the ones you mentioned.
    Thanks for the encouragement anyway.

  157. I need help i hat myself because i did something very stupid and bad that could have hurt someone and know my family hates me. They never said they hated me they act like it though please help me.I cant go on like this anymore.HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

  158. I hate myself because I am not like my family.

  159. I secretly have a girlfriend and my parents are homophobic and they’re constantly bashing me even though they don’t know it. . . it’s hard not to hate myself for being how I am but I can’t just up and change it.

  160. I always feel like my life is designed to be an anti-protagonist of someone else’s life because every time I do something that think was good is actually bad and to the fact that I make people sad and miserable which leads me to question my self “why did I do this in the first place, I should have not done that and stayed away.” Each time I get scolded from my mom or grandfather I always think to myself “are my problems worth attending? am I worth attending? because all I see is failure! Failure to reach there expectations, failure to satisfy my selfish needs, failure that I can’t do well in school, Failure when it comes to making friends, and failure when it comes to positive thinking! When mess up big time I always say to my self that “I HATE MY SELF, I’m a failure, what is it about me that is worth praising? I don’t see anything that is good about me, why do my family say they love me but I don’t see anything that is worth loving about myself.” I bully my self and think that why should I worry about my problems if my problems are so simple that even Einstein can provide a solution for me, even doe it hurts and my heart feels a lot of pain why should I care about my own personal problems its not like its gonna help other people and besides who would have time to listen to problems anyway, other peoples problems are bigger than mine.

  161. hi! thank you so much for your post. it lifts up my spirit and makes me want to change myself for the better. i sometimes feel so stupid of myself becus of my actions in school that always made me embarassed myself in school. sometimes it feels as if i dont want to go to school to avoid being embarassed again. but after seeing this i realise i should change and appreciate the goood little things that happen in life THANK YOU

  162. Hi! Umm im all new to this thing. My name is keyana but my friemds call me keke. So im suffered my whole life telling my self im stupid im not nothing im ugly and other things like that. But what i didnt know is that im stupid. Well at least i think i have 2 bad grades and i feel so lost inside like how did i get a bad grade in health and i rasie my hand but the teacher dont call on me. And in math its just hard. Im in middle school. And all my entire life i told my self im not nothing in this world. But i havent evwn meet the real world i jist meet half of it. Bit i grew up not knowimg my father. Thats why i go to therapy bit it seems to not work.

    • Keke, please don’t let a couple of bad grades define who you are. You are more than your grades and I imagine you have made good grades, too, especially in classes you may like better. Chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 – we want to encourage you and we want to listen. You can click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp Keke, you matter to us!

  163. Hi.. My name is Bernadette and I suffer from self-hatred. I was bullied for being mixed race and my mother would tell me that I’m a useless piece of trash. I began to believe her and I act like I am that. I lost many friends because of that. Now i am living with my dad and i couldn’t be happier. I was reading the other stories on here and I realized that I have no reason to hate myself and neither do you guys. You all are perfect in your own way, even if it is imperfect to society.

  164. I know that religon can really help people some time but i find it insulting that “remeber god loves you” is on a list having to do with self hate. A lot of the time the people with the most self hate problems are the people who your Christian god hates. I wish that i could find a place were i can find help without people pushing there religon down my throat. All my life ive been told that im bad and worthless for 1. My mom working as a “unholy” stripper 2.ive been that im wrong no matter what on my opion about god not existing. Every time i look for help i just get bombarded with religious propaganda and im sick of it.

    • Lily, I am really angry that “Christian” people have made you feel like you are bad and worthless. They have lied to you about who God is. Their religion with messages like that is not the real true Christianity. In true Christianity we recognize that everyone has imperfections, struggles, and sins..and no sin is worse than any other. Those who gossip are just as sinful as a stripper. God’s love, grace, and forgiveness is for everyone. Did you know the Bible says that “while we were sinners” Christ died for us. We don’t have to clean ourselves up to come to God and receive His love. Lily, I hope that you come to understand how very much you are loved and valued.
      I really like the book of Ephesians and here is some of what it says, “But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved….. in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God……For YOU, LILY, are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for YOU to do.”
      Lily, you are a special, unique, and wonderful young lady!!! Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
      If you want to talk more about this our HopeCoaches are here for you 24/7 – click on the “chat now” button at the top of our website or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp We believe in you!!!!!!

  165. The evidence is now. That life is not easy. But eternal life is. Hurting yourself or others only brings about darkness and God is all about the light. Keep reaching out for the good. Even when things go bad. And if you mess up, you can get back up and show that darkness that you do not belong to it. But only want proof of Gods existance. eep searching and you will find it.

  166. No, your suffer will end at heaven and god will make you forget your misery. God gives the hardest roles to his best actors.

  167. Reading this has really helped me I was feeling really worthless.

  168. You should not put god loves you. I don’t think there is a god. Keep it so everyone is in.

    • I appreciate your honesty about your beliefs. We truly believe there is a God and that He does love everyone, so everyone can be in if they choose. If you want to talk about more in depth we have trained HopeCoaches available 24/7. Simply click on the “chat now” button. You can talk about what you are going through right now.

      • I’m okay, thanks anyway.

  169. My parents seem to hate everything I do. Everything seems to be my fault no matter what it is. If i try to calmly argue for my cause, I’m shut down immediately and they walk away. I’m 16 now and this has been going on for 5 years now. If I ever want to relax by hanging out with friends or even just watching a movie or playing a game, I’m yelled at to go study since my grades are terrible. I go to the most competitive high school in all of NYC, a high school whose acceptance rate is lower than all the ivy league colleges yet they somehow believe that it’s my fault that my 94 gpa is absolutely horrible and that I wont be able to get into college with that. My commute to school is two hours each way since I live on the far side of the city but that doesn’t seems to faze them as they simply pull out a story saying “when i was young, I used to walk for 2 hours to school…” On top of that, they’re trying to live their lives through me. “Become a doctor, you’ll make good money and you’ll get rich.” I used to like science and biology and chemistry but all of their nagging has turned me away from it and now I absolutely despise it. I can’t make my own decisions due to the backlash I would receive if I did, at least 2 hours of constant yelling about why I shouldn’t have done something and then comparing me to literally anyone else that they know. I AM NOT OTHER PEOPLE. I understand that but living with people who don’t and want to control my life is just killing me. I absolutely despise my life as it is and I make very dark “jokes” with my friends at school about death. I just want to live my own life.
    Oh how good that felt to get it out.

  170. I hate myself for who I am. Im im constant fear of being attacked by someone who disagrees with me. We move and im still hating myself. I want to stop but we have no money for any sort of therapy. I’ve gotten to the point where I abusive myself. I deprive myself from loved ones who gave up last night. How on earth do you tell your parents you hate yourself. I’ve lost everything I loved and its my own fault. Please don’t wait to find any sort of help. Please talk to anyone of you hate yourself. Dont end up like me where I hide in my room so they don’t see what I do to myself.

  171. I know exactly what things that i need to change about myself. No matter hard i beat myself down, next day i will feel a little bit better and start hoping for good things to happen. I really need to stop hoping.

  172. i lost my freind and i d not know what to do

  173. Well is there really hope for many of us good straight men that really keep meeting Gay women all the time? Especially today since Most of the women of today have really changed unfortunately.

  174. I just hate myself for not being good enough for Nick and them. And also for not being attractive and smart. It’s like my parents have been telling me lies my entire life when I’m truly something that isn’t going to happen the way they want it to. And then when they think I’m doing drugs or doing bad in school it gets worse and instead of improving it’s this downward spiral. And I don’t have many popular friends and nobody outside my family Actually cares about me but I like it that way because there’s nobody who tells other people they are my friend and I hate myself. I’m on summer break rotting away and nothing is happening and truly I am a weak human being who can’t work out, study, get his head straight. I don’t want to get help because my sister and brother are incredibly pessimistic and in comparison I am always the happy and upbeat one to my parents but they don’t know how sad I get, I just don’t want them knowing yet another child of theirs is suicidal.

    • Please chat with a HopeCoach about your suicidal thoughts. There are other options and there really is hope. Click this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  175. When I was 14, I was a person that is being hated by everyone, I changed, changed a lot. now, Im 16 everyone treats me well but it seems like they are pretending. I have already done my very best,but my life seems like not improved much. Now, I still doesnt have many friends, not as much average people,my facebook likes count also not as much as average people, that means Im not adored by many people. I asked my close friend, “is there any flaws in my own character?”, they said no. Maybe they doesnt mind me being “like dat” and thats why they didnt leave me and turned into my close friend. I really hate myself, and extreamly care about things that I had done. How to discover my bad on my own without asking others (because friends will never tell you the truth)

  176. Everybody says im annoying, tells me to go away and I have no friends and even my animals hate me

  177. Hi.. I’m Jasmin.. Mainly known as “No one”.. Im in school (High School) right now being bullied.. I give my lunch to other people and they called me retarded, 2 faced, no one, nothing, a reflection. I really hate myself.. I dont want this pain.. I tried and tried.. but i think i should end.. I’ll be with God soon.. I guess.. I hate myself but this article started to help me.. I wrote some things I could change about myself to make others happy..

    • Jasmin, I am so sorry you are going through this at school right now. No one deserves to be bullied. I am glad you found us. We are here to cheer you on and help you. You can chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 by clicking the “Chat Online” on this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp Check out this blog by our friend, Lama-Leah – https://www.thehopeline.com/guestblogdear-bully-thank-you She was bullied, too, and used it to make herself stronger. We also have a video of her here – https://youtu.be/MFctQMO2WLI
      Jasmin, you are awesome and I believe in you!!!

      • College (Going in College next year.) maybe a struggle for some people including me, This video may have helped me and this program too! Thanks.

        • I am so glad you watched the video and that it helped! 🙂

          • Yep! Thank’s again! I think my negativity turned into positivity! This program and video increased my personality! Thanks.

  178. I hate myself😕

    • Why do you hate yourself? I imagine you are a really amazing person with gifts and talents. You are unique and important! 🙂

  179. Wait, what does God have to do with it? After years as a kid praying for healing of my depression ignored, I can no longer accept the “God loves you” thing…. it makes me lose hope in books that are otherwisely well written and well intentioned, as God us often thrown into the mix.

    • God uses doctors and medicines for healing, too. And He uses blog moderators and trained HopeCoaches to offer wisdom and direction. If you had diabetes you would not just pray for it to go away, but would hopefully take action by seeing a doctor, taking medicine, exercising, changing your diet, etc. Have you tried to get help for your depression? We have HopeCoaches available 24/7 to chat with you about it and to connect you with resources. Please give us a try. It is free and confidential. I am glad you found us. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

      • I have seen countless doctors, counsellors, psychologists, pyschiatrists, and I’ve been been hosptalized when I was about 16. So yes n between the ages of 12 and 30, I have tried to get help. My most recent shrink’s advice was to shower first thing in the morning – but for what? To go back to bed until I have an obligation that makes me get up? I’ve tried many medicines that haven’t improved my scenario enough to justify the risks. I can’t make myself stick to an exercise routine because I get so overwhelmed all too easy. I understand that being diabetic and praying for it to be cured is not going to help, but depression is thoughts. Your bible says things like “God gives you hope, he leads me to calm waters, etc etc” so… when does that hope come? When it’s too late to enjoy life? I’m 30 years old and the clock keeps ticking.

        • Wow, it sounds like you have been through a lot and that nothing has worked so far. Yes, depression is thoughts, but more importantly it is brain chemistry, something physiological. Finding the right medication can take time. When was the last time you tried medication? There are newer medications that have far fewer risks and less side effects. You also have to stay on a medication for awhile to see the full benefits. My prayer for you right in this moment is that God would fill you with wisdom and discernment to find the right doctor and the right medication for your body so that you can be filled with hope for your future. Proverbs 2:9-10 says, “Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.” We partner with Focus on the Family and they have a list of trusted counselors at this link – https://ccn.thedirectorywidget.com/customers/search?keyword=kansas+city&miles1=&miles=25&t=0 And you can always chat with a HopeCoach here at TheHopeLine and we can connect you to them directly. Don’t give up! I am cheering for you!

  180. My own family hates me. So I hate myself…

  181. I hate myself for lying on a school trip and saying I used to ski black-diamonds, and later I got moved to beginners. in front of my friends. I did many lies and I can’t stop hating myself for it. please help!

  182. Hi you guys. I’m a gay male and I truly hate myself. I’ve always did. Growing up i was neglected by family and friends for coming off as “Gay ” so to try to escape the hurt and pain I did what most guys do. FAKE STR8 and live a DL life. Now living a DL was super easy… it’s like act tough and no one will suspect a thing… I’m naturally tough so hey not a problem. But through it all i was still so unhappy. So then I came out the closet thinking maybe this will help. Well it did a lil until i started becoming depressed for not feeling like i was good enough to be openly gay. Like ppl get mad at me and call me ugly. They would say i was to fat to be gay, to ugly, all sorts of things and i cry cry cry every night. I really wanna die. I feel happiness and life just isn’t for me… I’m just to scared to kill myself…. but i live recklessly hoping one day soon someone will end me. Im a really nice person though. I treat ppl the way I want to be treated and treat them the I wish ppl would treat me. I try to think positive… doesn’t work. I pray all the time… I LOVE GOD HE IS REALLY MY ONLY FRIEND… I still hurt tho… idk what to do… I just wanna know why do i hate my self this much….

  183. Moving around a lot as a kid there was one place I was the longest and where I grew up. When I left it and all my friends behind they all quickly forgot about me. People i had known for 7 long years just like that. So I kept to myself and now just prefer to sit alone in whatever it is I do. Made some amazing friends but it is still me finding myself on the outside a lot. Now my girlfriend my first and only has told me I’ve basically made her miserable for 9 months of the 11 we’ve been together. Not even trying to do anything but care for her and love her I’ve been told I’m controlling. Telling me it’s been more bad than good has been soul crushing. That I hurt her so much has destroyed me and I find myself once more without the light that seemed to keep me afloat….of all the things that have helped me she has been the brightest light in the darkest of days. But I feel it dimming whether or not I should stay with her and try to work on things or just leave for her own is hard to decide between. And I just find myself hating myself despising my every action. Questioning if the one thing I thought I had done right was a mistake or not. If I had ever done anything right…

  184. I lived a life to the capacity but didn’t enjoy most of it. You see I think I was brought into this world as a mistake.Mostly because I did everything wrong. Even though I don’t remember my childhood, I’ve heard stories about it. Stories about me stealing. That and lying to get “friends.” Moving past that I was bullied by my so called friends in middle school. I was the girl who didn’t think to shower. I was always smelly and an easy target. Very much gullible. There was a time that I had perfume sprayed on me and words written lesbian and ugly from two people in my class. I don’t know why I can’t forget that. For now with the job I have and school to focus on, it’s like I don’t have a life. Not much money or people to care about. I have recently and in the past always thought that there isn’t a life for me here. And I think that this might be my end.

  185. I’m too old to feel this way. I have a husband and three amazing children. I feel so lost. I don’t know what to do with my time, my head won’t stop. I just feel so angry and tearful all the time….

  186. But what if I’m too unmotivated to change anything about me that can make me love and accept myself ??

  187. But what if I’m too unmotivated to change anything about me that can make me love and accept myself ???

  188. I don’t want to seem like I’m looking for attention, so I don’t share it anywhere. But deep down, I really hate myself. I’m not good enough. I feel like I have no talent. I’m not good at anything. I hate my appearance and voice. I have no friends. I get depressed very easily. Help ;_;

  189. I don’t hate myself….I hate God! I work my *** off trying to make my life better after a lifetime of catastrophes, but it never gets better. No matter what I do, things just always sucks. I NEVER say “things can’t get worse” because when I do, the ALWAYS get worse. I didn’t ask to be here, so why should God put me through such suffering? I would have declined life if I had been asked beforehand.

  190. If the most important thing to know is that God loves you, then why is that #5 on the list?? But of course “change yourself” is the first thing to do. This is terrible advice for someone struggling with clinical depression. I am a Christian who needs godly advice but also clinically proven advice. This is all opinionated.

  191. There isn’t much to change and I have anything but low self-esteem. God has forgotten me the last 30 years and that’s mutual. I’m grateful, but nowhere near grateful enough to not end up on this page!

  192. to be honest who cares if they mentioned a part about god thats for people who believe in god you dont have to take every step to heart for it to work pick and choose the things that help you everyone is different and copes different to these situations so its not a one way fixes all its choosing what works best for you. and if you do believe, in god and it brings you happiness then thats amazing because that works for you <3

  193. HAHAHA, that last one! God loves you, man, so don’t hate yourself…yeah, right. I feel better already. What a joke.

  194. Hating self or self loathing is often misplaced hate…it could be frustration with a situation or another person.

  195. Yeah this whole article makes “changing yourself because you don’t like how you are” seem easy and possible. I’ve never seen a bigger load of bullshit, and I work on a farm. Literally no one can help how I am, but props to the people that think that comes easy to them.

  196. I don’t really know what to do as I feel like I just can’t do any of these , Help?

    • Have you talked to someone about how you are feeling about yourself? We have hopecoaches that you can chat online with and we also have email mentors. An email mentor is someone you can email back and forth with for as long as you like about anything. They would listen, encourage and help you come to a place si tiy can feel better about yourself. To sign up for an email mentor go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors

  197. How are you supposed to think of things you’re proud of when you hate yourself?!

  198. I try to feel happy about myself everyday And I Cant Seem To Find One Good Thing About Myself I Have Tried To Find The Things I Can Be Good At And There Is Nothing I Cant Read Well Write Well Or Do Math Or Even Make Friends Because Im Different The Only People that Seem happy To Talk to Me is Kids I Feel So Hopeless what Happens When You Cant find Anything Good about Yourself?

  199. If god was the person you and the bible say he would not let us get in this situation.
    He is a figment of millions of peoples imagination

  200. Suks. Addicted to crack. Bin to rehab and i feel its a curse. Cant stop. I

    • Steven, We know that addiction is tough and it seems like you can never overcome it. There is hope and we believe that this resource may help you. It’s Rusty’s House. Their website is: http://rustyshouse.org/ It’s for men only. Give them a call at 828-550-2095 and talk to them about what’s going on. It’s worth the phone call to see if it’s something that would work for you.

  201. Im sorry mate Im an atheist you had me going there for a second too, Guess it was a waste of time

  202. I could make myself feel better thinking about God but now I think it will take a long time. In fact I have always been one who right away fell asleeo. Now I go to sleep but in a few hours cannot continue anymore and i know I will not be able to go to sleep again. God I have nvere taken any medicine/pill ever.

  203. I am phony and admitting it is not going to do anything good. I wish things will be the same again soon.

  204. Oh, yes! God loves me! Just like he loves all the abused children and animals and poor people, right? No! I have suffered with depression since I was in FOURTH grade. Why would a GOD who is supposed to be PERFECT choose or allow SOME to suffer? That seems to be a flaw for a being that is PERFECT AND LOVING!

  205. Point 5 just null and voided everything else. God don’t love us, at best (if he exists) he tolerates us.

  206. What Jesus offers is not a religion. He came here to save each and everyone of us, to offer new life to the lost, to bring light to those people who think they are worthless. Even if you believe it or not, He exists and yes He loves you more than you could ever imagine. “His thoughts are HIGHER than our thoughts, and His ways are HIGHER then our ways.” -Isaiah 55:8-9
    Are you still not convinced by our surroundings? How everything in the world where created very detailed? And how you yourself, how your body functions, are you not yet convinced that there is something bigger than us, and there is someone who created us?
    The reason why you’re feeling down and hopeless is because God wants you back in His arms. It’s His way to capture your heart – in this world full of distractions, in this world full of things we ought the only things we need to survive in this journey. You may deny it many times but sorry my friends but this is the truth, NO ONE could ever give you the satisfaction or the joy or the comfort you are longing for except God himself – the One who created you. Only Jesus can fill the gap in our hearts.
    When Jesus came in the world, He never guaranteed us a life without pain, life without struggles, but what He promised us is that He will ALWAYS be with us. We just need to believe, believe that He exists and believe that He is faithful in each of us.
    If sometimes you think and believed that God doesn’t love you because of your failures and mistakes, just remind yourself that its not God who said that to you but its the lie you told yourself and firmly believed into.
    Maybe now’s the time to soften your heart and listen to Him. He will NEVER EVER forsake you. Take heart and just believe! 🙂
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eE6USyYxipE
    Internalize this song. And please don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to promote or what, I also came here feeling a little bit down, but then I was alarmed by the comments and thought that if me myself who believe on Jesus felt a bit worried and sad, how about more these people who doesn’t even believe in God?
    Give God a chance to prove Himself to you. He love you so much!
    Life’s a battle! Take heart warrior!
    <3

    • Oh, my life. Firstly, you seem to be living in a little bubble where everyone you know is Christian. There are so many other religions and so many people who don’t have a religion. Second, if there is a God, then why is there so much hate and war? Why do people die from illness or kill themselves, why are people starving, why does everyone have clashing opinions. If there’s a God, why doesn’t he just make peace and have done with it.

      • Brooklyn, You challenge Nizelanne with some really good questions!
        God has created humanity with the ability to choose. This means that we are not forced into a relationship with Him. He allows us to reject Him and to commit other evil acts as well. He could force us to be loving. He could force us to be good. But then what kind of relationship would we have with Him? It would not be a relationship at all, but a forced, absolutely controlled obedience. Instead He gave us the human dignity of free will.
        Naturally, we cry from the depths of our souls…”But God, how could You let something of this magnitude happen?” This excerpt is taken from a blog from our partners at Every Student. They are a great place to get your questions answered about why doesn’t God do something about the tragedies in the world. If you have a chance read: https://www.everystudent.com/features/tragedy.html This is a good one to read too: https://www.everystudent.com/journeys/why.html

      • Even pretending there’s a God, it’s not him who makes the world awful. We as humans do.

  207. I hate life and I still want to die so if I die then the world would be a better place

    • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  208. The first suggestion they offer is “DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF- completely and totally wrong- you have to love yourself where you are, you can change everything about yourself but you will still be you and your negative thoughts will still be there.

  209. Found this by accident while googling in despair. Thank you.

  210. I’m the biggest looser in the world….

  211. The problem is this article presumes that there is something wrong with us that needs changing. It made me feel worse as it confirms I should hate myself. Feel really bad now.

    • Man is born sinful. We shouldn’t make an effort to love ourselves. Better to serve God; that’s the higher calling.

    • Completely agree – the sentiment of asking if there is something we can change then start today. That also assumes that we haven’t been working on changing all along. What happens when you work on changing – succeed in doing so, but hate the new person even more than the old? Contentment is not an automatic by-product of change.

    • Well said. Most people that actually hate themselves are actually very nice decent people who are overly critical of themselves. They are necessarily sociopaths who actually do not hate themselves as they are not capable of that.

  212. Hating ourselves is evil in itself, God made every merging good including us, we have no right to judge

  213. dear..think positively…you can bring changes from yourself..you dont need someone’s help..not everyone is perfect..accept yourself..keep loving yourself….you are a god’s gift to this earth..stay positive..have a nice day ahead

  214. What if you don’t have even one good quality?
    I know what you’re going to say, and believe me, I already know that I am neither a puppy torturer nor literally Hitler. But absence of a negative trait doesn’t imply the presence of a positive one, let alone a wealth of them.

    • Nils, I don’t know you but just by reading your reply, you speak intelligently and with a lot of thought. Not many know how to vocalize their emotions and I applaud you for doing that.

      • I agree with Mia.
        Whoever you are, nils, I sense intelligence even in the short text you’ve written. There is something good inside you, open your eyes and you’ll see eventually.

    • I don’t know you, however; the act of seeking to improve on your valuable life is a great quality!!

  215. There are things that are meant to happen even if we don’t want to. The least we can do is “not to dwell on our mistakes and dark past.” Don’t hold back your emotions when you are sad or you want to cry, just let it go. Never hate yourself😍Been there, done that

  216. I don’t think I can even begin to stop disliking myself. This cycle I’m in keeps me in check and stops me displaying the traits I percieve to be unlikable or borderline disgusting.

  217. Comments are more inspiring than the article

  218. God hates me

  219. hating myself moment for me generally comes from childhood all of those embarrassments and humiliation ,while going back those to thoughts i end up realizing i hate myself ,i ‘ve done a lot worse things with self hate like scaring .and i can’t find whats good or that ray of hope in life worth saying my life is or is going to be good. now its whats next in life that i fear

  220. Yeah I’m an atheist, I don’t believe in any God. Every website I am looking at for help is just telling me to get help from God, but I don’t believe in him.

    • Yeah I’m an agnostic. I personally think religion is just a coping mechanism, and one that I do t have so this isn’t helping me any

  221. 1. Decide what I want to change about myself? …I don’t want to exist.
    2. How to change that? …Well that’s pretty obvious.
    3. Build up my self esteem? …Yes I have qualities, but it doesn’t stop me hating myself.
    4. Use gratitude?! …I am very grateful for everything I don’t deserve.
    5. God loves me?! …I don’t believe in any god.
    Why did I bother to write this? …Because I’m stuck here and have no other outlet. I stayed for my parents. Fell in love and stayed for him. I gave him a child he wanted who is such a gift, now he is my main reason to stay. I can’t mess up his life by being so selfish, so I’m stuck here. I don’t deserve this child. I hate me. This is so tiring though, I don’t know how much longer I can deal. I’m weak. This is the only time I’ll whine, I won’t do it again, I’m sorry. I’m always sorry.

    • Mel, Please know it is okay to not be okay. It’s important to talk about how you are feeling. Being weak is not a bad thing. It means you need support and help to get through your struggles. We understand you do not believe in God and we never ever want to push you in to believing in God. We sincerely care about you and want to help you were you are at. Your life is valuable and you matter. You are more amazing than you think and you do have a purpose here on this earth. Please chat online with one of our HopeCoaches or sign up for an email mentor to work through you feelings of self hate: https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Never give up on yourself…ever…keep fighting!

    • This resonated with me because you described my entire life. I’m terribly afraid that one day the child won’t be enough of a reason. He gave me such hope and renewed purpose in the beginning, but it’s starting to wane.

    • I don’t have any kids, but I feel exactly the same way. It sucks

  222. Well each day I just feel awful like I can’t stand myself like the way I look I hate so much and I can never seem to get that out of my head I just think I am ugly and I will always think that I try different things to make myself feel that little bit better but even if I feel that slight bit if happiness the dark thoughts come back and never really go away and the way I think about myself affects the way I live because I have no confidence in me and I find it hard to face people ect then when I have appointments to go too that are stressful I spend most of that time feeling absolutely terrible.. I don’t even know what to do anymore I just keep thinking to myself I would be better off dead. I don’t really want to die I just want this pain to go away because it’s distroying my life and it’s making it difficult for me to live happily I just hate sometimes when people say to me that it will go away if I try and stop thinking that way but I have tried so many times and different methods yet I still feel and think the same way.

    • I was told once, after similar self-demeaning statements, that “You would never talk about anyone else in the world like that, why do you allow yourself to speak that way to yourself.”. I am also suffering now, but the best way to help yourself is to make a positivity journal, start with just three entries. Today I didn’t have many: 1) I ate something, 2) I did a bit of work, 3) I am sitting with the lights on. The way I am is that if someone else says something nice about me, I won’t believe it. You have to say it yourself. Hopefully tomorrow, my #1 will be that I helped someone online.

  223. I can’t do something right for once. I hate myself. I hate me. I want to die and there is nothing that can change that. God loves me and I know that but i don’t love me

    • Feel the same way too

    • If God has told you He loves you that means you should not feel less or down because the King of the whole world says you are good, you are enough. He says that even though it feels like you’re not doing well enough you are still so loved in your eyes. Often we struggle to block out the voices of people who put us down but I think what you should do is block out the voices in your head that are trying to put you down. TRUST ME KF GOD SAYS YOURE ENOUGH THEN THERE IS NOTHING YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT. Keep your head up and stay strong, I know you will see God’s love for you come alive! Ily!!

      • You know the thing is about number 5, god isn’t real so technically nobody loves or even cares about me

        • Thank you. I’m sick of being the only one.

  224. Sometimes its easier to just curl up and go watch anime
    \.’_’./

    • i agree with you:)

  225. I’m always unhappy

  226. Not being appreciated and grateful for whatever you do

  227. sometimes, i hate my self too much. thank you for this article. good for me, good for everyone.

  228. Unless you are transgender than that so called love god dont love u

    • Kasey, We are sorry you feel this way. It may not feel like it however we want you to know that God has a genuine love and compassion for you.

  229. Thank you for caring for people who are suffering. I am suffering. It’s late and I am in a dark place. Thank you for being kind enough to have this.

    • Hi BB. I don’t know personally, but I know for a fact that you are loved and cared about. We are our own worst critics, and I really hope you are soon able to see the good in yourself because I am positive that there is plenty to love <3

  230. I am really young and I really hate myself because I find myself overweight ugly and 2 faced. I always try to change my diet but I just can’t. Hopefully this will help me.

  231. I also suffer mild depression and and anxiety. Also I am dyslexic.

    • Hi Carley, I believe you have come to the right place to find the help that you are needing, contact the links provided and get started on a path of healing and wholeness, good luck and God bless.

  232. Hi, I m 21years. In my life i have always tried my best to let people around me get the best of me but inside i dont know i feel like i m hurt somewhere, and i dont like others to show my weaknesses and my depression. But on the inside i was like hating myself for being so much self righteous, i regret instantly if i do something wrong to others but i dont say a word maybe its my ego, but i m really hurt deep inside. i dont know whats wrong with me?

    • Hi Ranger, the good news is that no matter what the problem is a solution can always be found for it, and from what I have seen in the short time I have been on this site, you have come to the right place to get the help that you are seeking. I highly encourage you to contact the links provided, and get started on your journey to healing and wholeness. God and caring people can help you to turn things around for your good. Good luck and God bless.

  233. I hate myself so much, I’m a compulsive procrastinator, which gets me shouted at by my parents and teachers. My mum always makes me feel like trash when this happens, she mentions how my friends are doing well and I will never be anything in life. This then pushes me into deep depression for a while, making me not want to do anything at all which results in more procrastination etc.
    I’m stuck in this loop of self hatred, I can’t see how people stand me and I know that in the end I will fail in life.
    I don’t know what to do

    • George, No matter how many or what mistakes you have made you are worthy and valuable. It can be a vicious cycle, however, you can overcome it! We are here for you and we truly want to listen to what is going on in your life and offer you some ways to deal with it.
      Would you be willing to chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine today? You can chat with one of our HopeCoaches about what is going on at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. Also, you would really benefit from having an email mentor. It would be someone that you can email back and forth with to discuss what is going on in your life. They will encourage you and help you with some of the things you are dealing with for as long as you like. To sign up to get an email mentor go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/

    • Hi George, I believe you have definitely come to the right place. I just found this site, and I am loving what I am seeing, I urge you to take what they are offering, and begin on your path toward healing and wholeness, transformed from within, by the power of God. Your mom means well by trying to hold up your friends to you as a good example (this shows you are doing something right or you would not have friends that she wants to use as an example – go you!!) but she is missing the boat when she tells you that you are never going to amount to anything………this is horrible advice from a mother. This would push anyone into depression. BUT, the good news is that it is totally and completely untrue. And the best way to prove to her that it is, is to put all your effort into being the best you possible. As you learn more about how to do this, you will begin to bloom. Change is possible, all we need is the want to and good direction. Get started on your journey by contacting the links provided, Good luck and God bless.

  234. Why would God lovea piece of crap like me? The way I am and the thoughts that run through my head only God knows what I’m talking about so why would he even love me? I wish he could clean my soul and thoughts and save me from me.

    • Ivan, When we are in so much pain, hurt and hate ourselves it’s hard to understand how much God truly loves us. The truth is that God loves you with all his heart. He understands the pain you are feeling. He is there for you. He’ll be your comfort and your strength when you’re feeling bad about yourself. Don’t be afraid to trust in Him. Ivan, we think you would benefit from having an email mentor that can help you understand how worthy you are and they will also listen to you and help you through the thoughts you are having. Would you take the next step and sign up for an email mentor? To sign up go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/ Please give it a try. Also, if you are on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube, Dawson has a Live Prayer show 4 times a week. How about joining that community of people and let Dawson and them pray for you? Just visit this page for more information: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/ Lastly, we care and we believe in you.

    • Ivan, the good news is that you can save yourself from you!! Come to Jesus, he is waiting for you, with arms wide open, saying : Matthew 11:28-30 …28 Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”… He wants to do exactly what you are wishing for, to transform your thoughts into good, healthy, wholesome thoughts, as he is gently washing away all the bad thoughts and things that you have encounterd in your short lifetime, that is why it is called being born again from above, he wants to remove all the lies the enemy has spoken and replace them with truth, so that you can begin to rebuild your life upon the rock, which is him, and not on sinking sand, the Hopeline mentor is giving you great advice, I urge you to take it, and get started on your heavenly journey!!

  235. I hate myself. Every little thing I do I’ll twist in my mind in a negative way. Even writing this I’m thinking about how narcissistic I am for writing about myself. No matter what I do I’m still never good enough for myself. I’m planning on talking to my parents about this soon but I keep procrastinating, not because I’m scared but because I keep convincing myself it’s not important. I’m also struggling with figuring out my sexuality and one second I think I’m bi and the next I tell myself I’m only saying that for attention. I guess I just wanted to vent a little I hope you have a lovely day, bye.

    • Willow, We are glad you are venting. Talking about how you’re feeling is important. What you are going through is not narcissistic nor are you doing this for attention. You are searching and trying to find yourself and your purpose. Please know that you are valuable and worthy no matter what. You can overcome this vicious cycle of self-hate. A great place to start is to chat online with one of our HopeCoaches or signing up for an email mentor to talk through some of the struggles you are having. If you go to https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ you can chat, sign up or do both. Please know we care and that you are not alone!

    • for anybody who is going theough depression and or suicidal impulses, there is hope help others with going through what you are.

  236. I really hate myself these days, and this is only because I started to have a lot of facial hair and I feel so insecure. It is hard to leave my house, I just feel like sleeping all the time so I dont have to look at my face. The problem is that my facial hair is not that dark so I might not be able to remove it with laser and I dont even have money for it. I have a lot of hair even in my stomach area and hands and for a woman I think it is pretty dark. I just cant live with this body, waiting for my next life

    • Sara, We want you to know that you are beautiful just the way you are however we understand that you are feeling uncomfortable. Would you be open to signing up for an email mentor to help you through the issues you are having? It would be a woman that you can email back and forth with for as long as you like. You can talk about anything to them and they will listen, encourage and help you. To sign up for a mentor go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/

    • There has to be a way to deal with this, have you tried bleaching the facial hair? or talking to your dr about solutions? or researching it online for solutions? or trying the library for ideas? I really believe you can overcome this!!

    • Why don’t you just shave it it doesn’t come back worse

  237. I can’t even stand looking at myself and all of my failures. I hate who I am and that’s probably why I have no friends. Sometimes I just feel like I’ll never be good enough, for my parents or anyone who I love. I often search for inspiration and motivation, but it just never helps… My heart is broken and my life is a mess. There are so many things I have to achieve and do that I’m just sick of it… I hate being myself 🙁

    • Oh honey, have I got good news for you!! Jesus is waiting for you with arms wide open, ready to embrace you, and shower you with more love than you could ever imagine. All he is waiting for is you. He wants you to call on him, today. Do not wait another second. He loves you more than you can possibly realize. I urge you to call out to him with your whole heart, mind, strength and body, you will never be sorry. He will turn your life around, trust him, seek him, you will not go away hungry or thirsty, he is the fountain that never runs dry. I am so happy that I finally followed his leading to come here, now I see why, you were waiting to hear the good news, I am so sorry that I hesitated, forgive me Lord. I love you and God loves you more!!

      • If god loves us then why do we feel like this. There is no point in loving god when we can’t even love ourselves. How do we even know god is real? It’s nit like we can vent to him about our feelings and ask him to help us. It’s all false hope that will never happen

    • I think the best we can do is try to be there for others that feel like us. Just know that even though you feel alone, there are a lot of us that feel that way. Feel free to hit me up whenever you need someone.

    • I feel exactly the same as you. I hope we can both find peace.

      • maybe not…

    • I’m your friend

    • I can heavily relate

  238. pointless and useless advice. if we were capable of just flicking a switch from hate to love we would have no problem. These feelings are so deep and have scared who we are so much recovery is not possible. The only hope for people like me is to present a facsimile of normality so I dont upset anyone even more then my existence already does. I am literally waiting from my parents to pass away so I can end this without causing any more misery to others.

    • Oh no, you have not found the answer yet!! It is out there and available to everyone who wants it. The answer is Jesus, he can and will turn your world right side up. He did it for me ,and he is no respector of persons. If you will seek him with your whole heart, you will most definitely find him, and once you do, your life will never be the same. Find out who you are in Him. You will be amazed.

    • I completely agree with you. People think its so eash to just decide to feel differently. I know exactly how you feel. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here.

    • That is painfully relatable. These tips are good for people in a temporary rut, but for people with chronic mental disorders it can take more than this. Please don’t hurt yourself. I relate to how you feel and am here if you would like to talk.

    • You’re right, a lot of this information is not helpful. And while I believe in Jesus, church or prayer or bible reading is NOT the answer to this, I’ve been in the depths of despair and wanted to kill myself, I’ve harmed myself, I’ve hated myself. But right now I am in a much better place and I’m so glad I stuck through it and got the help I deserved. Depression lies to you and plays tricks on your brain! Please don’t let the thoughts win, seek help with a psychologist or therapist! Mental illness is treatable just like any other illness is. Even if you don’t love yourself enough to care, I love you enough. I care. Please seek out help, it’s so worth it!

    • we love u, nothing is permanent.
      roses are red,
      violets are blue,
      this isn’t the end
      people love you
      from rosie lydia and georgia xoxo

    • i agree

  239. “God made you very unique. And it’s this uniqueness that makes you special.”- Wow, powerful words! Definitely agree, God loves us so much. And we need to love ourselves too. Its not always easy to do that because of the negative thoughts but if we have God in our lives. We can do everything. We can love ourselves. We can love everyone else. And we can be genuinely happy. Thanks for this!

  240. Love is the greatest, no matter what is going on in your life, everyone was created through love. Without love we would never have been on this planet in the first place. All problems are illusion of the mind. No matter how much you hates yourself you can not changed your uniqueness even when you die your inner soul lives on.

  241. I want to kill myself. Please help me.

    • Dear Fabiana, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

      • I hate myself am stupid am dumb stupid ugly and worthless I have stitches I get bullied

        • What should I do when am sad,mad ,or when I hate myself

          • Lexi you could talk to somebody that you trust with your life don’t end your life because you have a great future in you life :,(

  242. I don’t know what to do anymore, i just don’t wanna be here in earth i would rather just disappear from everyone FML

    • Dear Kaylee, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

      • Thanks for allowing me to post, learning to live and move forward while hating yourself is totally doable. I do it everyday have a productive life and concluded a long time ago it’s OK to hate yourself, it’s how you deal with it that is the key to living a life fulfilled which is different than happiness which is elusive as hugging a rainbow.

    • Girl I hate my life too, or feelings of hating my life is better than feeling hate for my self. I feel like my life’s on pause. All I do is work at a crappy job that barely gets me by. And at the end of the day I’m soo physically freaking drained I don’t have no time for anything, no self care, no friends nothing. My life feels waisted honestly and sometimes I wish it was better and I could have something to look forward to: I truly don’t know how to get these feelings out of my heart… I often spend time crying alone feeling sorry for my self because in all reality my life is a joke. I work soo hard, being at work doesn’t keep my mind from racing though. It’s always going.. and living with depression and anxiety is the worst way to live. If I was a selfish person I would love to end if all but I can’t give up… just wish I could wake up one morning and be happy to be alive

  243. Please pray for me. Self hatred has been a lifelong struggle for me.

    • Margaret, You are not alone. You are loved deeply by the most high King. The Lord knows your struggle with self-hate and He is with you always. We will pray for you and we want to let you know if a couple of places that you can get additional prayer. We have a prayer site at http://www.theprayerzone.com. A prayer champion would love to pray for you there. We also have a Live prayer show on Facebook were a community of people will pray for you. Just go to http://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow

      • If God is omniscient why does he need prayer champions?

  244. It amazes me that people are feeling the same as me, in the same days. Well I have acne for 6 years, I hate it, I have been telling my mom to go to see a doctor since 5 years ago, I have never gone. I do not have money myself, so I cannot go on my own. I just recently moved to U.S and I do not have friends. We dunnot have money, so I applied for several job, but nobody has bother to make a darn call back. I want to work cuz i want to get rif of my acne with accutane. I know that is bad, but I am desperate, I cannot go 7 or 8 years with acne. I has taken from me things that I could never get back, and when I remember that It makes me feel even worse. Sometimes I cry cu I feel I am not loved enough. I feel my mom loves more my brother than me, and I am sure. My mom cannot love us the same just a the simple reason that we are not the same person. Just thinking its me the person that is less loved, makes me think why me, why not my brother? but i dont want to change that I want my brother to be loved, and dont want to take that from them, it just that if my mom has loved me properly since the beginning i would be find. Lately Ive been so stress, about how I look, more than ever, and acne is not making it good, I am crying because ive been thinking that I deserve to die, that i dont deserve the love not even from God. I just looked at the mirror crying, thinking to stamp my face to the mirror, I look at me, and my hands want to tear my face out. I just talked to my mom saying to help me, but she just ignores me. why can she help me? Im begging her what do i have to do. I wish i could love me mysel. In addition, I feel bad cuz I feel that I failed to BTS lol cuz i dont love myself right now. Well bye.

    • There are many things that can help acne

  245. Please don’t do that I have tried many times but came backward for others please dont do that I m still struggling and daily thinking of killing myself but thinking of others so but I don’t know how much I can bare it

  246. No I dont hate myself i HATE God

    • That’s DISGUSTING

      • why is that disgusting

  247. I hate myself because I can’t live up to people’s expectations
    I try my hardest every day but I just can’t
    I just want my wife to be happy but she is angry with me every day

    • then forget your wife love yourslef

  248. I hate myself because my thoughts keep telling me to do bad things and I can’t control them. I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I don’t know how it got this bad. I don’t want to get up in the morning anymore. My thoughts keep telling me to hurt people I love. I rather kill myself than hurt anyone. I want to kill myself, but if I do I know my family will be so sad and they will blame themselves for my death. I know my mommy would be especially sad because she loves so much. Why is God letting me think like this? God was my best Friend. Now it feels like he told the devil to give me bad thoughts and see if I get up in the morning. Maybe I won’t get up in the morning. If I’m dead at least I won’t be wasting anymore air,food,money, or people’s time. That way my family can remember me for who I was.:(

    • Mary, Your family would be very sad. They care and want the best for you. You mentioned how much your mother loves you. Please give your mother a chance to help you by taking you to the doctor for help. It’s important that you talk to someone in your family about how you’re feeling. There is help for what you are going through and the thoughts you are experiencing. Your life matters and you have an incredible future ahead of you waiting. You can overcome these thoughts with help. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  249. This is a good site for folks. As a life long hater of myself which I am fine with, you should let folks know it’s ok to hate yourself. Like any life issue you just need recognize it and know it’s part of your core makeup. Once you know you hate yourself you can then Taylor your lifestyle to incorporate the hatred as an inherent attribute of who you are and you can then move ahead, otherwise you will be conflicted in pursuing something (happiness) that only exists on a spectrum very few if ever achieve, being fulfilled is rather the goal and hating oneself all along the way does not detract from fulfillment.
    Thanks for Listening

  250. It doesn’t matter how good of a person you are, bad things happen to good people very second your not alone. stop being a fool and thinking god will save you, save yourself. you where born in a cruel world, the rich stay rich the poor are slaves and god does nothing.

    • Lewis, It sounds like you have gone through much in your life and you are hurting. We are not here to tell you that you are wrong…we are here to tell you that we care and that you matter in this world. The world can be very cruel and it is hard to understand why it is this way. We posted this article that may help you to understand: https://www.thehopeline.com/why-do-bad-things-happen/ If you want to talk a HopeCoach would be glad to listen at: https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  251. I hate myself cause I don’t have any friends, my parents don’t care about me. Also my sister can’t stand me, I have no one to talk when I need someone.

    • i feel ur pain i sometimes wonder if i am worth living this life i have but i keep telling my self its going to get better

    • I care. You matter.

  252. Hi there, You’ve performed an incredible job. I’ll certainly digg it and for my part recommend to my friends.
    I am sure they will be benefited from this website.

  253. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I act, I hate the way I think. I hate myself. So im not sure what “I can do” about that.

  254. My brother abuses me and my mom does not care. My dad yells at my grandma and me (my mom and dad are separated). My grandma has BRE and is in the hospital. People make fun of me for my weight, even my best friend, i try to laugh to drive it away. I barely have any hope left.

    • I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. It can feel hopeless to see people you love making bad choices that hurt others. You can’t change your brother or your dad because you can’t control anyone but yourself. You can ask for help, though. If your mom is not protecting you from your brother, and nobody is protecting you or your grandmother from your dad, then you have to find that protection from outside the family. If you’re still in school, talk to your guidance counselor. If not, call the closest state college to you. Many of them offer (sometime free or income-based) counseling through their psychology departments and they’ll be able to other resources as well. If people are making fun of you for your weight, I’m willing to bet you’re pretty young. Kids can be mean, but that doesn’t mean, and it’s usually the ones who hate themselves that are the meanest. PLEASE talk to someone in person. The internet is where we turn when we’re desperate because it’s always there, but talking things out with someone in person is way more effective than typing into a machine and reading responses monthly later if ever.
      Calling a helpline is the first step, and it’ll do in a pinch if you’re feeling desperate. Talking to someone in person is even better because they can take the time to get to know you and your situation and offer specific help that will actually work for you. Even if you can’t do anything about your family, you can have someone there that you can count on for understanding and support. Emotional abuse can be far more damaging than physical (bruises heal pretty quickly while harsh words can scar a person for life), but having someone to talk to can make you feel cared about and valued. That can mean the difference between ending up with emotional scars, or ending up with something that feels more like bruising (long-term vs short-term pain).

  255. I hate myself. I wanna kill myself. I am so weak and stupid, and cannot do my job in time. I cannot bear responsibility and I am always late with my tasks. I dont want to wake up in the mornings, I just want to disappear. Please can I just die!!!

    • Dssf, Your job is important, but not as important as your life. You are worthy. YOUR life matters. We care and we have some resources we can give you to help you with the thoughts you are having. We are going to email you some more information too. Please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
      Don’t give up! Keep trying!

  256. I just wanted a place to dump this so I could sleep, I hate myself, so much so, that the first thing I do in the mornings is wishing I didn’t wake up at all, and the last thing I do in the night is wishing to never wake up again, but I’m also a intelligent and loving person, I know that if I show those feelings around me the people that love me back would be sad and that would break me apart, so I lock it all and throw the key away, now days what I wish the most for is to disappear, not to die, dying is ease, I want to just be gone, from peoples memories and feelings, so that nothing, LITERARY NOTHING stays behind, but that’s not for me to choose, its not as if I think my life is sad or that people don’t love me, that I’m ugly or fat, I know that none of those are true, my logical mind shows me proof of that every day, the way people look at me, my weight and body type, the true friends that I have, my mom and dad and my girlfriend, it’s just that deep down, I can’t stand myself, my self preservation is of little importance if I can help the people around me, but I don’t do that all the time, because it would be unhealthy, and that would make the people that I love see just how sick I am, I’m tired of living, of breathing, of seeing, of thinking, but I keep on going, because I don’t want people to worry, because I love them too much to just die and leave them behind, dying is easy, surviving the death of a loved one is the hard thing, and I don’t want people to feel what that’s like, so I just keep on going, everyday, I wake up, go to college, then work, after work I meet some friends, have some cold beers, some nice chats, a few times per month I go to my mothers house to see how she’s going, have some fun, laugh at silly things, but then, I get back home and I all comes crashing down, even when I’m with my girlfriend I have plenty of happy moments, and I know she’s happy with me, she wants to marry me, I said that if she could wait until I finish college I would, because I wanted to give my family a happy stable life, she gave me this amazing smile, I know my life is good, but when I’m by myself, it comes back, it’s not a voice telling me I’m ugly or fat or that I did something wrong, it’s just, this utterly … crushing … darkness … like instead of a heart, all I have is a black hole in my chest, that sucks everything and leaves only sadness and hatred, so … much … hatred for myself ….. I will keep on living, until the day I die a natural death or a not self provoked one, because I know that I will keep on suffering, over and over and over again, every morning, every night … I just wanted a place to post this on, someplace where people could see, maybe a reflexive self protection act, a glimmer of hope … Doesn’t matter, this a fake mail anyway …

    • You’re so strong.
      I get it, I have felt and sometimes feel the same way. It’s awful, isn’t it?
      We have these awesome lives and yet we can’t trust ourselves to be alone because we’re afraid that we’ll pull the trigger, tie the rope around our necks, get the scissors and start cutting. I get it, I’m living the same horrible thing that you are, and I’m sorry.
      I don’t have any advice, I just want you to know that I feel your pain and that you’re entirely too strong and loving to be dealing with this. Good luck, I hope you find peace someday.

  257. I will kill myself. It’s just a matter of time. Luckily I was to stupid to know how to tie a proper knot, so I woke up bleeding on the concrete instead of hanging after I lost consciousness. Luckily my car was able to protect me as I purposely crashed it at 120 electronically limited miles per hour. Luckily I was able to wake up from my coma after 3 weeks when I took 200 2mg Xanax. Luckily I woke up after I overdosed on heroin when I shot it up the first time I tried the drug. Luckily I was never able to pay off my debts because if I did I would buy a gun right now and shoot myself (But I would never want to leave my debt and mistakes for someone else to pay for). Luckily my girlfriends father killed himself and made my girlfriend go off the rails to ruin the only relationship I’ve ever had. It’s my fault he killed himself. Everything is my fault. It’s my fault my best friend is mentally impaired after I gave he 60 of my xanax pills (I didn’t know he was depressed. He took all 60 and went into a coma like I did. Unfortunately he wasn’t as lucky as I was to wake up fine and functioning. He is now mentally impaired and I will kill myself for what I have done. I won’t stop until I succeed and take my punishment.) I took a son away from two poor parents. I’m trash. I’m just trash, It’s what I am.

    • Robert, you’re wonderful. You went online and posted your story, that’s so much more than I’ve done with my journey in depression. I get it. Everyone says that ‘It’s not your fault’ or ‘It’s okay, it’ll get better.’ Don’t worry, I’m not here to tell you anything I don’t mean.
      I suffered from depression and can feel myself being pulled back under, I can empathize with what you’re going through, I get it. But don’t you see? Your ex-gf and best friend need you, You survived maybe because you got lucky, or maybe because you have to live. Try to live for them, if you can’t find happiness yourself, death isn’t the answer. It can’t be, or else I’d have died 4 years ago.
      I can’t promise it’ll get better, I can’t promise that you’ll be okay. Just don’t die. You owe it to your friend and ex-girlfriend not to. You deserve to live, I know it for a fact, I don’t care what you’ve done or who you’ve hurt, you deserve to live.
      Don’t die, please.

  258. The only reason I hate myself is I was born SHORT and UGLY. Why did GOD make me ugly what did I do wrong for this punishment. Unloved and unwanted has been my life, Now I just pray for a fast death and wished I was never born.

  259. This all makes no sense since god doesn’t exist.

    • Even if he did…
      “Remember God loves you… unless you dare not return that love, then he’ll torment you forever because you didn’t bow down and worship.”

    • How is it that I’ve never heard anyone consider that God did not create every one… would it not make more sense in the battle of good and evil, heaven and hell, Lucifer and God, that Lucifer has his humans created as his pawns… in his image??? Thus: many of us that have hated our selves for our lives could very well be not created in Gods image, and God does not love us, because we could be created to be on the other team???

  260. I always seem to look up things about depression and anxiety late at night because that is when I know I am alone and when I finally start thinking about how much of a failure I am. I have to go to a private browser to even look at it because my grandparents (my actual parents left me with them by texting me and leaving for drugs) monitor everything I search and look at. I can’t even look up things I so desperately am trying to know and understand without them knowing about it and getting so concerned with me. I hate it when they give me attention, compliment me. I hate it when I stop doing my schoolwork and know I should do it, but I procrastinate to the point where it is 3 in the morning, the project is due 4 hours at 7 in the morning, and I decide to finish it. I hate when they tell me I am not doing enough for school even though I have mainly A’s and a few B’s. I want to pass all my classes, but I don’t want to do any work because I feel so much anxiety and I push it off and decide to watch a T.V. Show. I honestly don’t want to self diagnose, but I don’t want to tell them I want to talk to a therapist because they will make a huge deal out of it and I know it will never be forgotten. I act like I have the biggest ego by calling myself the prettiest and smartest person when I am with them. But I actually have never thought that. I’m 17, 130 pounds and 5’7. I’m what some people would call the perfect everything but I don’t even believe that to be true. Everytime I look in the mirror, I play with the few pimples I have and look at the growing ones thinking how everyone I pass is going to look at it and think how ugly I am. They are going to look at how my double chin is so disgusting. I don’t want to wear tight shirts because people will think my big boobs are so nasty. To this day, I have never worn a tank top out in public, or any spaghetti strap shirt because I feel like my boobs are way to far down and if some of my chest or cleavage is exposed, Im a cheap whore with saggy boobs. Everytime I talk to people over the phone, I suddenly forget how to breath normally and I start running out of breath and when that happens my ears heat up because I get so embarresed and disgusted that I even have trouble about that. I don’t even know if I am normal like everyone else. I can’t bring myself to kiss anyone because I am too worried that they are going to hate me touching them with my dirty mouth. I have one of the better lives, and I know others have it worse. I tell myself I shouldn’t cry or be stressed out because I have such a good life now. I was taken from my crappy life and put into this new, controlling, set environment. And for some reason, even though its stable, I can’t seem to like it. I hate the sound of my own voice. My nose is too ugly. My eyes are too slanted. My hair, no matter the cut or color will never look good on me. I will never be physically fit the way I want to. I will never have someone, I will be lonely forever. Why should I try to live my life when there is nothing worth living for? Everyone says they are scared to die, but why? If I were to die right now, I wouldn’t care. No, I can’t bring myself to kill myself, but if it were to happen I would be fine with it. I have nothing to live for. I do things every day, and I smile and laugh like I am having the greatest time. But when that moment is over, I suddenly forget it ever happened and I’m back to my crappy self. I don’t have any passionate interests. I have looked into so many hobbies and I find an interest in something, but after a day or two of trying to do it, suddenly I lose the “passion” I had for it and I stop. I cant find myself to have a passion for anything. If I start a T.V. show, I end up skipping through it until it gets over, and I’m left looking for another show because suddenly the 7 season 25 hour long episodes each season is over in 2 or 3 days. I can’t bring myself to try to date anyone either. Every time I find interest in a guy, I tell myself he is too ugly, or he just wants my body but then think, he is the best I could get. Nobody except the people who want to use me for my body will want my body, because I am that ugly too. I have thought about suicide multiple times, but I could never, even now, go through with it because I can’t seem to bring harm to myself. As I was saying before, if I could die of some natural cause, or an active shooting, I would love that. I wouldn’t care because I don’t have anything to live for. No one will care much once I’m gone. I don’t even feel like I should be writing this out and venting because I have no reason to. Why should you guys read this long paragraph and be forced to listen to my stupid feelings? No matter what you say, I doubt it would change anything, so why should I even write this? It just makes me become more self aware of how messed up I am, and how easy I have it compared to others. I shouldn’t be feeling this bad when I have it this good. I shouldn’t self diagnose, but I’m pretty sure I have bad anxiety and depression but I can’t self diagnose. When she mentioned finding one good quality, I couldnt even find one. Not one. And i still can’t. I never know how to answer what my best qualities are or what I am amazing at. I can’t answer things that Im passionate about or my best traits. I have nothing good. And I don’t think that feeling will ever change.

    • You have gone through so much in your life and I want you to know you are valuable and worthy. We would care if you decide to leave this world. I’m sure there are many that would care. You sound like an amazing person that is very self-aware. Not many 17-year-olds have your sense of self-awareness. I read your whole paragraph and I’m glad you were able to vent and get the feeling you are having off of your chest. I am very concerned about you. Your self-esteem is greatly suffering. I want you to know that you can overcome this. There is hope. It’s hard to see this, right now, however, this will not last forever. You can get past this. 17 is a tough age. I remember how hard it was to have the self-confidence to feel good about myself at that age. I suffered from anxiety and self-esteem issues too. I know you don’t want to tell your grandparents how you feel and want to keep this hidden, but it’s so important that you communicate with an adult about how you are feeling. You’re are right, it sounds like depression and anxiety have taken a hold of you. Is there a way you could talk to your guidance counselor at school? Or Would you chat online with one of our HopeCoaches about this? You can chat online at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ It’s free and confidential. They will listen, judgment-free and help you with the next steps. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches before you get to the point you can not take it anymore. You can also, call or chat with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ or you can reach the Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  261. What’s the point of life when your ugly, why does GOD make this way. The only thing I hate about myself is what I look like, looking in a mirror or a picture is sure hell. You hear that beauty is skin deep and it doesn’t matter to GOD how we look, but when it effect your life on a daily basis you might think something different. If you where to ask me I wish I was never born and whether GOD loves me or not doesn’t matter. I truly hope there is no afterlife because is one has been enough. There is depression and there is depressing they both differ. Why does GOD make ugly people, A person that has never felt this way will have no clue an call it depression. I call it a living hell

  262. I’m caught in this absolute Hell of certainty that God is real and that the Bible is true, but that God does not love me. It’s tiresome that people don’t understand this, they can only offer that He loves everyone. They do not adequately process that He just doesn’t accept everyone.
    For me, He just keeps moving the goalposts. I’ve never been good enough for Him, never lovable for people. If He really cared, He’d let me die and be out of this torment. Suffering is all He has for me.
    Who I am, that I sincerely tried to follow, has never meant anything to Him, that is evident in His apathy He shows for me. Now all I want is to die. I hate myself so much. Therapy doesn’t work, prayers go unanswered… actually, they’re REFUSED, and I know what Hell is because I’ve lived it for almost fifty years.

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