It’s so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you’re in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn’t good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn’t feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It’s easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It’s important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It’s normal. But it’s difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I’d go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don’t let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He’s right, it’s not worth going crazy over something you really can’t control.
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won’t. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It’s like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I’ve become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I’ve come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God’s love for me.
I ask myself, “Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He’s the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason.” There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn’t that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
Gerard says:
I needed this. Thankyou
Kris says:
That’s a great point to make, why do I hate myself so much, when God loves me unconditionally. I’ll try to keep this in mind for those very dark days I often encounter….
nyarielee says:
I really need prayer and help though
I loved reading this it helps thank you
Karina says:
This didn’t help me, none of the other websites did… I don’t know what to do now knowing nothing will work..
Renee says:
praying for you Karina
Renee says:
This was great..thank you so much for the post
Nobody says:
This did nothing but state the obvious. I agree with Karina. It didn’t help. Self hate is not my only problem, but it’s so frustrating not really understanding what is wrong. What is going on in my head. AND WHY DO I HATE MYSELF?! I don’t really know.
There, I have been social. Leave me alone.
No one says:
This didn’t help me either! It almost felt like it was rubbing salt in an already open wound. If god truly loved us we wouldn’t feel this way in the first place!
No one says:
And what if you hate a lot of people God loves unconditionally. Just sayin.
mike says:
I really needed to read this I felt so alone by my self an kept blamming my girl friend for it I felt un loved un wanted u felt ugly i felt like noone was here for all becouse of my dad an mom aren’t here I blame my srlf I call my self stupid I try killing my self becouse I feel unwanted I thank you guys alot for helping me every time I feel this way imma read this thabks
K says:
I think if you hate yourself it is important to find out why, because self hate leads to self harm.
someone says:
Yes, it may lead to self harm or a life time of thinking those dark thoughts. For me, self hatred has lead to a life alone. I am 48 now and live alone. I’ve let most of my friends fade away without any explaination to them. Only a few persistant friends remain. I so want to be social. I grew up good at being social and made many friends but inevitably I would say something that caused an awkward silence or something that offended someone. I would be a wreck for days, filled with self hatred…Going over and over the incident in my head all the while knowing that the incident was quickly forgotten to those who witnessed it. The self hatred is magnified 10 fold when an incident involves family. My heart hurts for all of you who suffer with this affliction because I know the depths of it. For the 1st time I have sought out therapy and it does help to get professional insite. Prayers for all.
Dallas says:
This is exactly my experience. I have felt this way so many times that it has crippled personality. I go for days without speaking. This is troubling for me, as I grew up bring very personable, friendly and well liked. I don’t know why my mind has plummeted so quickly into this self hatred. I don’t really enjoy my life anymore. I no longer make any attempt to be social. I don’t have any friends. Every day I feel hopeless. I’m sorry for the rant.
Junk says:
It’ not self pity! I’m 55 and life has been bad for as long as I can remember! Nothing helps! Like the post from above said if god loved us he would make all things good after all these years and it keeps getting worse! I want out of this world! The pain is too intense! I hate opening my eyes up in the morning to face another day of disappointment, anxiety, depression, loneliness etc. EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!
Sue says:
you are not alone in feeling this way…
someone says:
It is all here; God has given us everything we need to claim the wonderous, unique life that is you and me. I know God is blameless for my mortal failings. Even though my life is and has always been an embarassment to me I find some hope in knowing that God is rooting for me. My inner voice tells me do this thing or that thing because its the right thing, the right path but 9 times out of 10 I don’t. God has already given us everything we could possibly need to change our dark, self-damning thoughts to something more normal more productive and positive. I know the pain of self hatred. The only difference is that I don’t blaim God. I lean on him and pray for the courage to make a big change and he give me hope. Keep plugg’n along as I will. Its not over yet.
April Jones says:
I thought this article was okay, until you started mentioning God.
If there’s a God, he doesn’t love me as much as you claim he does, or else he wouldn’t make me feel this way in the first place.
Anonymous Catholic says:
God doesn’t make you feel that way, April, though I understand where you are coming from. However, I want you to know that God gave us a gift of free will – the power to make our own decisions in terms of things like choosing to love and serve him, how we treat other people, and how we treat ourselves. Don’t think that I don’t know how you feel, because I do and am in the same boat as you. My advice to you is to turn to Him with your struggles. He loves you regardless of whether you decide to follow him or not. And if you ever feel alone – remember He is always with you.
Worthy to be loved says:
I have struggled with negative thoughts most of my life, and self hate. I have have children now and it started to affect them because they would hear me say things against myself, to see my daughters cry and want for me to be happy changed my life. I have a husband of 14 years who has been by my side through my struggles. He loves me but often feels his love is not accepted because how can he love a woman so much who does not love her self. It hurts to be surrounded by so much love and not feel that for myself. I searched one day for the meaning of my name and ironically it means worthy to be loved which is something I never really felt. I have accepted that I am worthy to be loved and God has been so good to me but I have refuse to accept the LOVE He has for me . I’m learning to love the beauty in myself/ they are so many standards by the world I can see how we get caught up in hating ourselves/ so I am learning not judge myself by those standards and enjoy being me. There are many things that Love about me and the things that don’t like , but I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself I want to be free so it’s either STOP COMPLAINING OR DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT !!! Our pain is our testimony and with survival we can help someone thru they pain… may we send our love out not be returned voided
Thomas says:
God is fictitious. Challenge him once or for the rest of your life and god will loose every single time. God doesn’t help the many that die innocently. We call it the devils work if someone innocent dies yet we fail to realize that if that’s true then god doesn’t do his job. Find peace from inside and not religion. We as people do more than any religious figure could ever do.
Anonymous Catholic says:
I’ll be praying for you, Thomas.
anonymous says:
I want to be someone else who is handsome who have respect all over who is rich and he has someone special who loves him very much
My face become horrible when i see my face i hate myself nobody wants to love me everybody make fun of me in back even god not help me am i that much bad??
Why god do such type of injustice with me???
ronak says:
I jst don’t know what to say.. it literally breaks me down.. that.. I jst don’t kbow how to say it.. it all started when I got in a relationship.. aftr that.. it ended in an unjustified way.. I got no resn fir it.. I was broken.. I started wruting poetry and some sorts of phrases.. to drain all my pain on the paper.. in my diary.. people soon came to know about my writings.. they started praising.. now I hv got my resn of brkup.. and she is evn back.. looks lik an happy ending.. bt for the year when she was away.. I was broken like hell… and now.. evrythng seems basically ok.. bt its not.. still everything’s wrong.. I jst don’t know.. I just hate myself.. and it’s all because of “preferences” they show as if they care.. bt I just don’t know.. nothing seems good…
truth says:
Ronak ….Its seems you’ve given all your power to this woman. You are at her mercy. Be strong…You can survive and even thrive on your own. Let her know it or end up resenting her for possessing all the power in the relationship. Stand up and embrace yourself. You are worthy of that much. And your writings; maybe you have found it. The one thing that is unmistakably, beautifully you. Keep writing.
moja says:
Why was i in this site..i think its because i have the same problem and CAN U BELIEVE it, i am in Tanzania
But i think most of the people are wrong (like the above) about everything and GOD
Though i have this problem and many other as mentioned by others, i believe GOD loved us and still love us dearly
and gave us EVERYTHING in every possible way.
Then if so; who is to BLAME and be BLAMED?
ITS us human being
Relatives, friends or supposed to be friends, society e.t.c (THE WHOLE MAN MADE HUMAN LIFE, JUDGEMENT, PRIVILEGES, PREFERENCES SYSTEM)
IMAGINE: WHAT IF YOU LOOK LIKE GOD AND YOU DONT LIKE IT OR PEOPLE DONT LIKE IT
Think and be positive GOD knows what is best for you and when to give IT to you( your best) AND YOU ARE NOT LOOSING ANYTHING
BE HAPPY, find and do what makes you happy and dont think much about what they say or do abot you though first it is difficult
ENJOY
Sylvia says:
I have no self convince. When im walking in the halls at school I feel like every one is saying something rude about me or how ugly iam. I don’t feel pretty I im not smart, I cant do anything right. I try to make myself feel better by thinking that a some guys think im pretty but I was worng the only guys I attract are users.
Carl says:
Chose one positive thing about your self and write it down and keep it close. Every time you feel bad about yourself read it and make yourself believe it. Change it up every so often. This is what helped me.
light says:
sylvia,
when I read your post I thought…..This was me when I was in junior high and high school. I was confused about why i was filled with such self doubt and everyone else just seemed to be so sure of everything and comfortable with who they were. Does this sound familiar? At your stage in life kids are beginning to find out who they are separate from their parents. They are learning to love the little personality traits that make them unique and enjoying sharing their personalities with others. I believe that something is preventing you from seeing the unique, special person you are.
Maybe someone close to you puts you down or maybe your blaming yourself for something that is beyond you control. In any case its time for you to move full steam ahead. Join things, volunteer somewhere, Research something you’ve always been curious about. The more things you become involved in the more life knowledge you aquire. The more you can speak about a variety of different things the more you come to know and like yourself. You certainly are not alone…….and I promise things do get better. As for the boys……just because he’s attracted to you doesn’t your attracted to him. You do the choosing not them. Oh, and one more thing. When I was young my mother always told me I wasn’t very smart. Well guess what she was wrong…..I graduated college with a masters degree. Claim your true self and your life. There is so much to look forward to.
Riley says:
I’ve hated myself since i was in about sixth grade. I mean, I’d started to hit puberty, that didn’t really bother me, I was happy with my body but then I walked into school one day and an eighth grader called me name as I walked into school and just called me ugly and my crush was with him and they all laughed and IDK that was the beginning of it I guess. I’ve always been shy and I’ve never really been assertive. My best friend left that year for another school also and for about a month all the girls hated me and I felt so alone and I dreaded going to school i felt like sooo horrible. And then the year after that I’d gained a little weight, so I tried to starve myself and that didn’t work at all, i mean i was always too hungry to starve myself so that was stupid of me. When I got to high school I thought it would be different like different people and stuff, and it didn’t really change much. I mean, I always think to much about what others think of me, and my friend told me i’d never get a boyfriend, and I’ve never had one, no one has ever kissed me or asked me out. I felt so ugly i still feel so ugly and just stupid. I feel like i make the stupidest choices and say the stupidest stuff. My friends are only my friends when they feel like it, and that honestly makes me so sad all the time. Earlier this year it was so bad that I cried just about every night i saw no reason to do anything and I felt like people were being so mean to me at that time, but then closer to summer IDK what came over me i started to feel so much better. I felt so much better that I didn’t even notice how better I’d gotten. Every time I’d cry at night earlier this year I’d pray and ask God to help me feel better about myself. And I got better and I didn’t even notice until July and I was like oh my god i haven’t cried in forever and that felt so good! Nothing was worrying me, and now I’m starting to get back into what and i was earlier this year and I can’t imagine ever feeling 100% about myself. Especially now that I’m going to go off to college in two years. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do for a living I kinda suck at everything :/ lol no really like i’m bad at stuff.
Linda says:
I’m new on here. I have hated my self for as long as I can remember. I am 54 now, when will this get better.
mcgooch says:
Hi, I have never done this before but I need help. I hate myself and it seems to be getting worse. I’m in an amazing relationship and my boyfriend loves me. But I think he’s too good for me. I think well I know I’m fat and ugly. I go to the gym and I wouldn’t say I’m the biggest girl in the world but that’s all I see when I look in the mirror. I don’t know what to do. It’s killing me everyday. I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to be here anymore.
Anonymous says:
Instead of focusing on why you think your boyfriend is too good for you, appreciate the relationship you both share. Think about it, if he’s your boyfriend and if he feels the same way about you that you do about him, why does it matter if he’s too good for you? There are also a ton of girls in the world that would love to have a boyfriend like you do, so just remember that if out of all of those girls he has feelings for you, then you must be special.
Sey says:
i hate myself more than anyone all i can do is cut myself so i know im at least doing a good thing, hurting myself because i deserve it,
tammy says:
I have good intentions. I compromise. I love. I laugh. I learn. I accept. I appreciate. I am treat like a doormat. I am ignored. I am abused mentally, physically and emotionally. I am constantly ripped off by people promising the earth. This has been going on for 30 years. I do not ask for this. I do not manifest this. I do not pray for this. I now have no money, home or relationship. I have a 2 year old I cant look at because of my inadequacies and she is a major reminder of them (her dad was the only one who ever loved me. I was with him for 2 glorious years. He died when I was 3 months pregnant, never seeing a scan or her face). She is confused. I am suicidal. I am good at explaining my feelings, only for them to be ignored. I know I am worth so much more, but life and others seem to differ in opinion. I have had enough. I cant breathe anymore. I cant look in the mirror without crying. I am so tempted just to give in. I just dont want to leave my daughter on her own, as an orphan and in the system. Cheers for this. I know you mean well, however sometimes it is too deep, painful and constant to face, hence the self harm, the self imposed guilt, the self imposed abuse. There is a saying that everyone cant be wrong. Everyone thinks the same about me as I do. they have their standards for me which differ from mine and I fail to achieve anything other than negativity, oppression, vile comments and physical punches, just for being me. My daughter sees all of this and I can do nothing to stop it.
way says:
Your are not trash. You are not stupid. You are not ugly. You are not invisible. You are not worthless. Your life is beautiful, wondrous, spiritual and imperfect by design. You are perfectly unique and your life, a gift not a curse. With such a precious gift we must protect it….So if you are as low as low can be then look up and reach, claw, drag your way out. Research therapy, meditation, acupuncture, yoga, bible study and what ever else you can think of that could help to deliver you to a place where you feel genuine love for yourself .. Meditation helps me. Go to a peaceful place and watch the sunset tonight and reflect on the beauty that is in you and around you. So long for now
ondela says:
Tammy how r u now. I relate so much. There is no one who wouldve put it better that u did. God is by our side my sister,We r under Gods watchful eye. Take a deep breath and come down now, it will all be ok. I’m just holding on to that, faith! U and I are exactly in the same both. This is not our battle to fight.
Ag says:
Tammy you are not alone, in this world there might be people who ignore you and abuse you,  but there also those who will listen to you and love you, like the father of your daughter did and people like me and others who have read you’re comment. I don’t know where you are, we may be worlds apart but I hope you know I care what happens to you. I wish I could express myself better, some how my words seem shallow.
Massimo says:
I prayed for all of you and will continue. We can overcome this.
Marissa says:
prayers and good thoughts would be greatly appreciated right now.
K says:
For all the postings of despair and hopelessness there are just as many postings from people praying and trying to reach out to help. For those of you who feel so hopeless, what has helped you to make it on your darkest days. For me it helps to see myself as a little girl struggling to make her way in this cold cruel world, and I feel compassion towards her, I don’t hate her. She is doing the best she can with what she knows. We don’t have a road map, so how can we hate ourselves if we have made a few bad decisions? Life goes on and we can still make a difference and help others.
SomeGirl says:
So how can I overcome my hatred?
K says:
Would you hate the younger you? The little 8 year old you that only wants to be loved and accepted? Are you angry at her?
Linx says:
I’ve hated myself sense around when I was in 1-2nd grade. It happened it was out of my control. I couldn’t stop it and didn’t know how to stop it. I started growing up, hiding and repressing feelings of all kinds besides select few. Hate, anger, and rage. It fills each and every day, my depression makes it all worse. I haven’t had a wonderful life, but I haven’t had it as bad as others, causing a whole new level of guilt. This has lead me to numbness and partial insanity, which I can lose the rest quickly. I have a wonder boyfriend, we are long distance and that already kills what is left of my corrupted heart. And it makes me feel terrible that I can’t really give him what he wants or deserves, our words hurt eachother even if not meant that way. He knows about what happened back when i was younger, but i feel like he doesn’t understand. He became my light and has helped me start to feel some good things again. He just doesn’t see what somethings do to me. I continue to hide hideous feelings from myself, from him, friends, and family. Some of these comments fit so perfectly it hurts. And the kind words others say are nice but hurt even more, because I can’t fully accept them and knowing I can’t accept love hurts so bad. I recently came out as a victim. A small part of me wants to be loved, and could maybe just maybe accept it. But how can someone love you and how can you love someone if you have held hatred as number 1 in your broken heart for so long? My religious view is so confused and mixed I don’t know what to believe in. Gods love or not I haven’t felt loved ever sense I can remember, but saying this I don’t know what love is. So I don’t know if I have ever really felt it or not. Thank you have a good day, it just feels nice getting that out…
K says:
You are too cute. “A small part wants to be loved and could maybe just maybe accept love.” That is where it starts-with that small part. Your heart is not corrupt. Just a little broken and it can heal. You were abused, but that does not define you. Allow your heart to open to life. It is like getting into the ocean….you start with one foot, then the other, then before you know you are up to your calves, then thighs, then stomach, chest, neck, and before too long you are swimming in those waters that initially seemed so cold and uninviting. Allow yourself to be loved. Start slowly, start with that small part and allow it to grow. You are worth it.
Cooper says:
Why shouldn’t I kill myself?
I feel selfish doing this, as I have not taken the time to help others. And I don’t want help or feel I deserve help myself because of that reason. But here it is.. I hate myself. Every aspect of myself. Why do I want to end my life so badly? Why do I have such bad anxiety? Why would I rather pick at my skin and think hatred thoughts about myself and life in general, than go and make something of myself like the rest of my family and society. I’ve always liked to draw and paint and sculpt and I thought I was the best, and I still have materials to do so within reach. I used to play basketball and soccer and loved getting better and just doing it. Now, I won’t get up and put a pen to a piece of paper, or walk down to the courts and shoot. I get anxious even thinking about the activities. And when I do finally force myself to hold the brush and set up the paints and make my first few marks.. I hate it.. I suck.. Why am I even doing this? I push all of that shit aside and cry.
I have shunned my family, I feel I am a disgrace to them. I don’t wish to reconnect with any of them, nor do I feel worthy of their attention or acceptance.
Day after day, I starve myself only eating when I feel I will collapse, and sometimes just letting myself because I want to sleep more than anything so why give myself the energy that will prolong consciousness. I get anxious thinking about the fact that I need to get up and eat something. I won’t go to the grocery store because I do not want to be seen. I don’t deserve food.
And now I’m complaining on the internet…. I hate myself.
K says:
Hi Cooper. Based on the symptoms you describe, I wonder if you suffer from clinical depression. I would encourage you to see your doctor and get a complete physical. Some depression is related to chemical or hormonal imbalances that can be easily treated with medication. There is nothing wrong with getting treatment for a mood disorder, particularly one that has so negatively affected your life. You might be surprised how good you feel after getting the treatment you need. You may become energized in the mornings and start to feel alive and enjoy life again. Suppose you had an accident and broke your leg. You would be in pretty severe pain. Nobody would fault you for taking medication to ease the pain and have surgery to get your leg fixed. It sounds to me like you are truly suffering and I want to encourage you to seek treatment. Some depression is situational and brought about by circumstances. But if these feelings you describe, including a loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy, not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, not wanting to eat, etc….if these symptoms have been going on for several months, then you may have major depression and perhaps speaking with a therapist and medications may help you immensely. Once you start feeling better, you may find the joy you once had in creating your art. But please don’t strive to be the best or reach some arbitrary level of “perfection.†Do it because it brings you joy and makes you feel fulfilled. Others will feel your energy. Be encouraged.
crinkled moth says:
I am not religious. I believe in nature. The way we understand nature is science.
All of these comments… I am ashamed in humanity, society, culture, and myself. I feel like societys structure has not evolved, and is trapped by money, greed, and incompetence. I cannot live up to medias standard of beauty with my genetics. I will never be a size small or be able to change the structure of my face or body without unnatural forces. I find it so hard to stay healthy in this instsnt satisfactory and oh so convenient lifestyle. What am I even doing here? I cannot live in the moment, I cannot get things dons because I am dreary for the future and regretful from the past. I have searched for my niche… My home…my companions. I keep being told confidence comes from success. My only passion is useless in today’s society, other than doubtful entertainment. I dream of a world with compassion and closeness. When I was 13, I realized how cruel the world could be, how society has directions for success, how cookie cutter life can be. Smoke stained gray. I told myself, this is a huge world, kid. I’m sure there’s a way to make it my own. To own my life. To assert happiness and express my passion, creativity, and love. I’m 24 now, and I’m still looking. I’m in college doing what I’m told to do for a sustainable life. I’ve tried all the shortcuts: drugs, camping, moving. I cannot shake this cloud that dampens every environment I step foot in. My mind plagued by pharmaceutical drugs. Why can I not be happy with simplicity? What am I even suppose to be doing? Working? For what? For retirement? If I’m lucky, a decade of freedom when I’m too old and weak to enjoy it? That decade will be gone in a blink and my life will never be remembered. Another mass grave without roses. I want to be apart of something. Valued, appericated, unique. I think I’m ready now to become earth and let my electrical energy collide with… Something… I hope… I am un reassured as my hopes, thoughts, and ego are all physical aspects of tissue in my brain.
I am angry I cannot appericate what I have either. I have all the resources but no motivation. I’m just waiting…. All I live for is for others now. But mostly my dog.
Don'tForget says:
I think you have reached your conclusion that nothing in life is sustaining, satisfying, or wonderful. Childhood fantasies were crushed…which is sad. Don’t give up. There is more to life. Valuable, appreciated, and unique. A world of compassion, closeness. And mercy–but the base is love. It’s in God. Find Him, and you find what you’ve been looking for. Life has meaning again.
I know you said you weren’t religious. I’m praying for you and hoping that you come to find your root for true happiness and meaning.
sheila says:
My god, Cooper. Your words describe so accurately a place I once was; a place I fear someday I’ll return. I get it.
I know how the emotional pain can be so intense it actually hurts physically. I know the strange fear of going out and being seen by people….Its like, being afraid that someone might acknowledge your existence. I remember how sleep was my only peace but the guilt I felt over sleeping all the time made my soul ache. I decided one day that maybe taking a drive to my favorite spot (the beach) would lift my spirits and it did. I went to that spot every day for a couple weeks and slowly I started coming around. …But that just me. I wish I had the magic words that would lift you up. Through all the self hated and sever depression I was in, I did know deep down that I was worth something, that I my life had some value and I hope deep down you know that too. You know you need help. Please reach out to someone. I’ll be thinking of you.
f0x says:
@crinkled moth – your comment describes how I feel almost to a T, although I’m 18 and realized the world sucks a bit later than you did. I was supposed to start college this year, but I withdrew at the last minute because I feel like I’m only going because I’m expected to. I don’t even know if it’s what I want to do with my life.
ftw says:
I’m 41, I have a bad back, bad hip, weight of 350lbs and in pain always. I’m on 2 different depression meds (that don’t work). My physiologist said after these two there’s nothing more to try, that was 5 months ago. Yet still I can’t stand me! I think of suicide all the time. I don’t want to die, but know how much better it would be just to have it over. I don’t want to be this way!!!! I don’t want to think this way!!!! Sometimes got to give. I know that suicide is not the answer. Just cause I think of it, don’t mean it’s what I’m going to do, cause I also know it’s not the right or smart thing to do.
K says:
You guys got to, you have to re – engage in life. I would encourage you to listen to motivational books and tapes. There are so many podcasts out there that you can listen to on a daily commute or a walk outside. Life is about challenges. They make life exciting. Doing something you have never done before. You can wake up tomorrow and say “I’m gonna be that.” Or “I’m gonna do that.” Then do it. What sort of things did you love to do when you were a kid. Ask yourself what was it you enjoyed about it. Was it running? Did you enjoy feeling the wind rushing in your face? Was it acting? Did you enjoy being on stage? You can visualize the person you want to become, then set a plan in action to do it. It is said that the best cure for anxiety is action. So after you have seen your doctor, got your medications, and been medically cleared for what you wanna do, then go about doing it, and don’t believe anybody that says you can’t. You are the only one who can stop you. Break out of those boxes you have put yourselves into and go forth with gladness!!!
Deepika says:
why i this world there is so much sorrow especially in my house in my life what to do i have no courage to commit sucide what i do i want to go out from this environment but nobody understands me and do not allow to escape me what to do tell me please my life is hell.
ftw says:
K
It easy go some one to talk about getting out and doing something about your life when there’s nothing wrong with ya. But me I can’t get out and run, like I said my back and hip are messed up. My big thing when I was younger was ridding a 21 speed bycycle cross country, but now I can’t get on a bike without hurting myself, I tried about 6 months ago and every peddle was to painful to enjoy.
K says:
Oh no, ftw…I did not mean go out and run. I have had surgery on my back so I cannot run, but I do try to walk regularly. Sometimes my back hurts even when I walk, but then I slow down. I said be sure to see your doctor and get a medical clearance before you do anything physical, cause you do not want to hurt yourself more, but I just recommend listening to motivational audio books or podcasts that you can do while you exercise or drive in your car. It helps to listen and get encouragement daily because life can be challenging, but we need to reach out and not suffer in silence. I am glad that we can connect on this website. Sharing our struggles helps other people. We can utilize our gifts, like art and writing to share ourselves with other people. And as we do this, we feel better because we connect with others.
Savannah says:
There are manh reason I hate myself.. And I might as well explain.
1. Faces.. Everyone has different faces whoever they are but in public I dispise mine.
2. I screw up everything in my life, relatioships and friends and always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.
3. I’m butt ugly. Everyone I know has someone close to their heart and well I’m just me. Somedays I prefer it to be that way but other days I can only blame me as the problem
4. Deep down inside of me I feel this little bit if evilness and meaness that I want to let out but I often know that is the wrong thing.. But it lets itself one way or another so adventually I screw up the things and people that mattered most to me.
5. I’m very stupid.
TheHopeLine Team says:
Savannah, We want you to know you are loved and that you are beautiful, smart and worthy! Please call or chat with a HopeCoach that cares anytime 24/7 at 800.394.4673. If you want download our free app to your phone to chat, call, email and get encouraged here is the link to download it. http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp
stacy says:
I feel your pain.
life sucks, I am in horrible pain, and I feel pathetic.
suicide is never the answer………………you may end up somewhere worse
I wish you all the best
all we can do is try to have better tomorrow
Sj says:
Please stop saying these things about ur self u are none of those things if other people say that they r def not ur friends and u need to walk away ( talk to the hand baby) u are not a silly person why are u believing all this about ur self u and I don’t even know each other a good phase I hear all the time not sure I think if fits but anyway It worked for me last time don’t know why ( MAN UP )in the nicest way don’t let them get u down.
nikki says:
I am 20 but people say that I’m still like a Kid.I am a College goer and i’m studying Science.subject That I’m Studying Is Quite Difficult but when I had began I thought I would do it anyway.I would work hard for it but the things didn’t go as i planned.I have a very low confidence and whenever i turn my book and start to study at home,I will be prisoned by all the thoughts filled in the world…I can’t stop my mind from wandering…during school i used to be a bright student,looking back at that i always took challenging subjects,thinking i will get back in that track..but this is not happening…my confidence is going very down and thats why today in exam when teacher asked me simple questions ,i couldn’t answer….not because i didn’t know but because i had been feeling very down…..i felt myself to be an alien infront of her…i’m sure she might have thought that i am the most weaker person in the whole college….i am feeling so humiliated i cant tell you…i have become a dumbest person in the world….my brain’s negativity stops myself before i try to hard work and that ultimately leads to humiliation….quitting subject is not an option because I have come really far…and my low self esteem is not letting me to raise….i think i will reach nowhere in my life.. 🙁
K says:
Hi Nikki. You might want to clarify what you mean why people say you are “still like a Kid.” It may be that there are issues coming up in your like now that you are older that were never dealt with before and is affecting your studies. You are smart and bright, but maybe there are emotional issues that cannot be ignored or covered up by “working hard.” I would encourage you to speak with someone you trust or perhaps a school counselor about whatever issue is causing you to feel “humiliated.” I think it is deeper than not being able to answer a question in class. I hope you are able to resolve this because you can definitely have a bright and happy future.
Sj says:
All I can say is life sometimes is crap
We all. Have it hard sometimes I’m nearly 40 and life still stucks please don’t give up though I came on this site really needing something or someone to make me feel better about myself u know what that’s not happened but I’ve read so many of ur sad emails all of u young with all of ur lives to live that now I feel I want to help inspire u
My life has not been easy
But I do have a grt hubby and 2 grt kids although all of them are my symptom of my angrer! Please forgive me for that
But I read most of ur comments and ur all at least 10 yrs younger than me and I want to encourage u all to keep going life Is crap a lot of the time, friends are crap most of the time, family is crap most of the time, but somehow u get through all the crap to achieve ur goal. please keep going
looser38 says:
I have endless health problems, a dead end job, no partner, no friends, low self esteem, and social anxiety. But I still believe God loves me he gave me 2 beautiful children and IM STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!
K says:
Hi. I was wondering how severe is your social anxiety, because I was thinking you might enjoy volunteering in some capacity at your kids’ school or maybe joining a support group with other people that have similar health challenges as you do. It may help you realize just how much of a blessing you can be to others, allow you to meet other people, and raise your self-esteem.
hopeless says:
So many people in pain like me… Makes me hate my life even more that I dare feel pain when I know there are others worse off… My problems seem minescules compared to some people… Then I have thoughts of why bother posting here so many comments, no one will hear you… Then I feel guilty for being so selfish… Then I think well I will probably never even come back to check if anyone replied and then feel guilty about that.
I miss my kids so bad but I dont even think they would give a toss if they ever saw me again… They’re only young and dont understand… Having a great time… And I am glad about that but would like if they missed me but then I feel bad about that cos just shows how bad a person I am! How selfish I am… Then I think should I even be here, would they even know if I was gone… Would they care, I honestly dont think they would.
Life is a terrible mess for me… I mess everything up, always have… As a kid I remember thinking that when I am an adult it will be great cos no one will pick on me and I can do what I like etc. Nah, still sucks… Now my kids have gone I have nothing, no-one… Just emptiness everyday… Empty cupboards and desperation… I’ll even lose my home soon… Be on the streets… Something to look forward to ay…
I cant kill myself though, far too much a coward for that… It’ll hurt and I am weak… Maybe it will get even worse and I will have no choice… But even then I dont think I could…
Atleast I am not alone in my misery… I know why I hate myself… Its because I suck so bad at life. At everything…
Anonymous says:
I completely understand you…
I want all of this pain to stop, but I’m too much of a coward to actually kill myself. I’ve tried though…
I’m only 16 years old and I have no idea what to do with the rest of my life.
I used to have ambitions, big dreams, but now I have nothing. I know that we’re all far better off than kids in Afrika, who don’t even have one good meal per day and I feel horrible and selfish that I act the way I do.
I hope you know that you’re not alone…
self hater says:
How am I supposed to like myself or not think I have a problem when I can’t even figure out how to talk to my wife about relationship.
self hater says:
Nothing like waking up on a new day and still hating yourself. I love my wife & children but I deeply hate myself.
Jason says:
I lost my wife because of that same problem. She found another man who she can communicate with. I suggest being honest with your self. write those things on a paper and bring it to a therapist and either read it to them or let them read it. Because as a guy seeking help is different than babbling about “feelings”- and how can you seek help if you can formulate out loud your emotional needs? That’s why I said to write your thoughts/feelings/emotions down if you can. For me my Ex did not understand that it wasn’t that I didn’t care about communicating or that I wasn’t in love with her. I later found out that I wasn’t able to formulate out loud my emotional needs. I’m not alone. You are not either. Most guys where a mask to hide their true emotions from an early age.We get it stuck in our head as young kids that crying is for girls. If you get hurt you better not cry or everyone will laugh at you or the ” Only women talk about their emotions”. From then until now we are still that little kid that is afraid to cry and express emotion. I’m not anymore and the next women I bring into mine and my daughters life will be lucky to have such a sincere man by her side. If you don’t get help now you wife will leave you and then you will feel true sadness on a whole different level that you have now. I never write on these message boards man let alone know how I even got to this site. Maybe I was meant to read your post.
Jack says:
I look at everything here and it makes me think about everything I’ve been through. I’m only fourteen and my parents are divorced, both remarried, and my mother has turned to God and away from me, and she can’t realize this. For years my cats were the only source of my happiness, and now they’re gone because my stepbrother is allergic to them. I constantly think about dying and how I don’t care about living anymore. A few months ago my parents called the cops on me due to a mental breakdown and I was sent to a rubber room in a nearby hospital.
I understand I’m not alone. I see everyone’s problems and I grieve for them. One of my friends is suffering from a horrible case of suicidal behavior and I can’t make her understand just how much she means to me. I read some of the things above, about how people thirty or more years older than me with children are suffering from this and I know that maybe someday that will be me. I’ve devoted my life to trying to save other people from my fate and I just wish that everyone understood me when I told them how much I love them. I hate the world but love everyone in it. Convoluted, huh? Yeah. But that’s all I have to say, at least all I can say without breaking down again.
Gary Smith says:
Thanks for sharing Jack. It feels good to help others….because you value that. You have a big heart. Why is it easier to care for others…than care for ourselves. I don’t have the answer. I should research that. But…I know that’s true with me as well. I do know that it’s important to care for yourself. And…with practice caring for yourself, it will lead to compassion for yourself — which will make your life more fulfilling. Life isn’t supposed to be all happy times. That’s not the way it works. But we really aren’t taught HOW to deal with sadness…hurt. So you….and others on this forum….are NOT ALONE. Being happy is easy. However, coping skills to deal with our own sadness is so important. We can’t really help others as well (one of our values) if we don’t care for ourselves. And why shouldn’t we care for ourselves? We are alive…a miracle. We can breathe….feel…touch….see…hear. Just a matter of sitting back — and Observing these things we take for granted everyday. As I mentioned to Jane above…..try putting your hand on your heart — and say…I Love You. Do that Every Single Day. You ARE important. You DO matter. Even if only for yourself. Follow your values. In that way, even if you stumble, fail……it will be okay….because you will be doing what you value. For me, I value being a father. I don’t have the best relationship with my oldest daughter. It hurts. We were close when she was younger – but my ex in leaving the marriage….manipulated her. I text and call her everyday. She doesn’t always answer. It hurts. But I do it everyday anyway. It makes me feel good. And….when she does text or call….I soak it up. Enjoy every word. Caring for ourselves, I believe. Takes practice. Sadly/Wrongly/Most of us aren’t taught this skill. For me, I had to read about it. And I try to help others. Because I hate seeing people in pain. I know how it feels. And I don’t like being alone. So I write. Maybe no one will listen. But….maybe they will. Care for yourself Jack. You are a miracle. There’s ONLY ONE YOU…in this entire WORLD. WOW.
Jane says:
I feel like a constant failure. I was the prime target for my mother’s emotional abuse in our home. She openly favoured my brother, even to this day – I’m 45 years old. I had to meet all of her demanding expectations, otherwise I was shut out and denied affection. My mother never believed anything I ever had to say, and she would always believe others over me. It was easy for my brother to blame me for stuff and my mother would punish me (because she always believed him… according to her, all I ever did was lie).
I married a man who was abusive. I divorced him and he used the kids to continue wielding his abuse for the past 15 years – always holding me accountable for his problems and constantly looking for proof that I was the problem in everything (especially in our marriage)… and trying to convince our kids of the same.
I married a 2nd time and my 2nd husband dumped all his emotional angst onto me, too… and so did his ex-wife. Suddenly, I found myself being blamed for all of their problems, too! After 6 years I left the marriage. With that, my 1st ex-husband used my “failed” marriage (as he called it) in his court papers to try to prove (yet again) that I’m the problem in everything. To this day, he continues to set-up situations whereby, if I don’t do what he wants, he uses it as an example to our kids that I’m “difficult” and that they’re not getting what they want because of me. My 2nd husband and his ex-wife did the same thing.
I feel like a horrible parent. I have done my best to protect my kids, but I was alone in trying to protect myself. My mother was of no help in this regard (she was one of my abusers) until I ended up in the hospital after a suicide attempt – the 3rd attempt in my life. The 1st time she didn’t know about (she just would have made me feel bad about it anyway). The 2nd time, a friend of mine called her to let her know I was in the hospital and she told my friend that I was just looking for attention and hung up on her – she didn’t even visit or check up on me after I was released. The only reason she became concerned the 3rd time, was because my 1st ex-husband waited 3 days to let her know I was in the hospital, and when he spoke to her about it, he told her I was crazy. Something about the word “crazy” set her off and she rushed home from her trip. My mother tells everyone my business.
My son is angry because of my 2nd divorce. “I” ruined everything for him. It didn’t matter that my 2nd husband would actively ignore me for weeks and sometimes months on end… I took away his family by leaving. My son is now into drugs and continues to demand that tolerate his behaviours (in my home). I kicked him out. I simply can’t deal with it anymore… and somehow, I already know that this, too, will be blamed all on me. He will blame me. His dad will blame me. So what’s the point?
My mother accepted any responsibility for her abuse on me. I was trained to take the blame… and so the only way I know how to stop the pain of the blame-game, is to cut people out of my life. Funny… my 1st ex-husband ridicules me for that, too!
I feel like I’m here on this earth to be everyone’s target, so that they never have to face themselves. But where does that leave me? It leaves me feeling worthless and suicidal.
Thank you for listening.
Gary Smith says:
Thanks for sharing Jane. I’m so sorry you are sad. I can relate very much as I just went through a divorce…child custody battle…dealt with emotional and financial abuse. It’s hard. Sometimes you just have to love yourself…to help yourself…and others. Put your hand on your heart, show compassion for yourself, say to yourself — I love you. Its a miracle that we are here. No doubt about that. Find peace in the everyday miracles…your body…all of the wonders around us…by just observing. I used to hate giving my dog a bath. But now I enjoy it. I try to soak every pleasure in. And…when people say rude things….blame me…etc….realize that the words themselves can’t hurt you….if you don’t let them in. Imagine yourself in your car, it’s raining, the raindrops hitting the windshield are those blaming you…uncaring words…now turn on your wipers — SWISH them AWAY….Seriously…try that…with practice…it really works. Then….when alone…and you realize you didn’t let those words bother you….SMILE. Love yourself. You are a beautiful person. In my divorce, I have regrets. I apologized…I didn’t want my marriage to end. I pleaded. But after a while, I realized there was nothing I could say or do. It hurts. But, I care about my two daughters. It hurts that they are not with me full time. But I try to enjoy every moment with them. My oldest daughter can be rude at times. It hurts. But she’s 17….really not mature yet. She will learn. I will try to lead by example. Love yourself. Soak in all of lifes pleasures. It won’t be perfect. You will still hurt sometimes. We all do….everyone does. But as we get older we can appreciate even more all the miracles around us. Also….forgive others. Believe me…this is hard. But you are doing this for yourself. No, it’s not easy. Its something to practice constantly. But its worth it. A better more satisfying life….by caring for yourself….is worth it. God Bless and Good Luck Jane.
patti says:
I work for emotionially abusive people . I’m a home health aide. I try to be undertanding because the adult daughter high funtioning special needs but if anything goes wrong the daughter points the finger at me. I does make me feel like i am a kid again getting blamed for something i did not do. I have another job never got a promtion but the pay is good . I feel like a failure. Sometimes i wish i were dead or someone else. Both my jobs are part time. I am trying to find full time or another part time to get out of the aide job
Alana. says:
Dear Jane.
I don’t know if you believe in God or not but He loves you no matter what you or anyone else thinks about you. I too have suffered my adult son turning on me for my faith in Jesus. The enemy ( Satan) will do all he can to make you feel worthless. That’s a huge lie! When you accept Jesus as your Lord of your life He accepts you warts and all. He is healing me after years of abuse and I know He longs to do the same for you too. I have finally surrendered everything in my life to Him as I can’t do it in my own strength. It probably sounds like a cliche but give it all to God and trust Him to see you through. He will do it! Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re worthless cause you’re not. Please read Jeremiah 29:11-14. God has a plan for you Jane. Do you really think He would want you to take your own life? No way! He sent His Son Jesus to die for you He loves you that much! ( John 3:16) Hang in there Jane! Give it ALL to God. Your fears doubts low self esteem your family hopes dreams- surrender it all in faith and trust and see what He will do! I mean it Jane. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. God wants to turn this all around for your good and He will if you let Him! God bless you! Alana.
Who says:
Jane, sugarcube, even though I’ve never met you in person, I think you are a women worth fighting for.
And if I ever meet your “husbands” I’ll give them the finger and ask them why in the name of all things good did they want to hate you.
It WILL get better soon, I promise.
maha says:
i feel so guilty if my frnd asking doubt to other person in front of me no one can speak wit me properly and i feel so bad about my studies so i hate my self so worstly.
sany says:
all the tym i feel im not study properly..even i take book to study my mind nt to set for studies but my inner feelings told study study study
mariannd says:
I used to be a social butterfly when i was young, but now at my early 20s, i became more and more undocial person, its just like im too unconfident to start a conversation, and when they start it, i tend to answer them shortly, thats it.. i became more and more afraid to open myself to others.
I dont see any major flaw on me, im not ugly, my grade at uni is good, i myself really dont understand why it happen
sophie says:
I don’t have single thing to be unhappy about. But i am empty on the inside. I have a husband and two kids who all say they love me, but i feel nothing but guilt i can’t reciprocate. I accepted Jesus as my savior, and the following year and a half was good. but for the last 14 yrs i have hated waking every morning to another day of not enjoying anything. It does not compute with me. I know in my head i have everything cause i have Christ in me, but why so empty feelings al the time? I just want to go home/heaven. Then my husband can find a wife who can love him from the heart and my kids will get a chance at seeing what joy in people actually looks like.
J says:
Feels like me…
I feel like I fail/suck at life..right now im meant to be at my little brother’s birthday thing. Im hiding at home.
Why do I suck at life…
Phoenix39 says:
J you don’t suck hun. Your just hiding. But why?
Beautyinthebroken says:
Let me tell you…. You are a prize possession I don’t know you but all I want to say is I love you. Jesus adores you. Like life is so ugly and it hurts soooo much….. But I know for a fact you are going to shine brighter than all the people on the planet. Make your years worth living because we don’t know when we die. Idc if you want to die, what happens when you regret not making life amazing. What do you have to lose living every second likes it your last?
myra says:
me to and what even worst is when u fail in front of a whole class
butter meets butter says:
You dont suck. You just havent found the right age for uou life. Everybody finds one age that they are happy.
Rob says:
change the question and change the outcome; Why do i suck to; Why can i do this. help yourself instead of hate yourself
Cerbian Kamarote says:
That doesn’t necessarily change the outcome. Let’s not paint every situation with a broad brush.
Emma Lovelance says:
At least Rob’s attempting to assist. That’s all we can do sometimes. You never know until you try.
Johnny Bravo5713 says:
Dear Sophie, I feel you were telling about the past 14 years. There were some great times for you in the past and i’m sure in your childhood. The guilt you have is due to some reason which you alone know and you cant even tell your husband. I’m guessing and i might be right or wrong.You don’t have to answer me that. I faced a similar situation like you in my life.Its as if my life was limited to the 90’s.Those were the best days and after i grew big in 2000’s i was just like empty.You just live because you have to.That’s what it felt like. But the responsibilities you have to take care of them.Even felt like ending my life.Meant no anger to others.but felt the same like you. But i found the purpose in my life. Its great you have accepted Jesus.Ok ask yourself one question?
Why are you mother of 2 children and wife to the one particular person in worlds population of 720 crores.. After hearing that you’ll feel life even negligible. But the truth is God put you there in that exact place to take care of your husband and those two gifts God gave you.And not 1 out of 720 crores other than you will love them like you nor take care of them.Even if you’re miserable inside find meaning for your life by laying your life for them rather than yourself.”Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
Do that by taking care of them everyday
And you wanna go home/heaven then this life is a probation period/assignment given by god for you to complete.So finish it with distinction dear.
Read your Bible,Pray everyday & take care lovingly your husband and your 2 angels.That is your purpose and redemption dear.
Read the book”The Purpose driven life by Rick Warren’.Buy it online and read it for sure.it’ll defintily help.
And in the end as a co believer i wish you all the best sister and May God Bless You.
Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee.Psalm 55:22
Bi dear
C
sfm says:
Hi Johnny Bravo, may I know what year you were born? I feel exactly like you. I was born in 1981, and it seems I can’t move on from the late 80s, 90s and maybe early 2000s. I am guessing that maybe it is because I am passing my quarter life crisis. But on the other hand I also felt that all aspect in human life are start to degrading after the 90s. I don’t know which one is true.
Emma Lovelance says:
I’m a 80s. I love the 80s, 90s and early 20s…that should stop you from living in the present. The world is so big. There are so areas like Venice that allows you to like in a past era in 2016. Maybe,you need a change of location.
Danny says:
OK here’s my problem with this. I believe God has put me here for a reason, God is putting me through severe trials that seem to have no end, and the only reward I can see is heaven. In that case — why not just kill myself? The temptation is so strong. Even though I know God would want me here longer, for his own reasons, I do not believe I am strong enough to continue suffering in his plan. I realize suicide is a great sin, but I am simply not strong enough to withstand the days, weeks, months, and years of pain ahead of me.
kelly says:
Hi Danny,
How are you doing today.. I hear and feel your pain as well as understand the temptation but I decided a while back not to look ahead at the pain but to try and bring forth Hope for a little Change in my way of thinking and I discovered that with help I do actually have control over the way I think and see life and especially the way I talk to Myself because we ourselves are the most important speaker to our true selves.. thinking of you
jkvolfan says:
Its amazing reading these blogs, it seems there is more to this self loathing and procrastination and depression.. its more than just having a bad day or a bad month. Im approaching 44 and i have felt this way since i was a child. I feel sorry for the people i love having to put up with me. I have always been a hard worker and have been successful. Nothing seems to change im “happily” married and all i do is bring my loving wife and family down. I dont know how to change. I try with no avail. I have put on that face for many years and i dont know if i can continue.. i have turned to alcohol as its the only friend i have and i hate myself for that. There must be something undiscovered in our brains that we dont know of that causes us to feel this way because in all honesty most of the time i have no real reason to feel the way i do as i me sure some of you feel this too
Timebomb says:
I feel the same way :'(
lynnie says:
I can’t tell how I feel because they won’t be honest. Is it stupid? Just be honest.
kelly says:
I am an alcoholic and a am I liar – I liar to myself when I say it is my friend because it may pretend to hold or nourish me in the moment but then it drops me down and treads on me more depression and anxiety. I lie to myself when I say I am thirsty and will quench my thirst with just one beer because alcohol makes me dehydrated and I want more. It sets me to a time when I start to think ‘i will have just one ‘ – usually around 6pm , and I never did like being tied to time yet it pretends to be my friend in making me do this. I lie to myself that I am an adult and deserve a drink now and then when what I actually deserve is to me free of a friend whom only bully’s me into lying and makes me feel worse about myself.. What I deserve to to life free of this so called friend.. I deserve more and I deserve better friends – Its not easy to look at being disappointed if I put myself out there to be accepted for who I am, its terrifying actually! but I have survived my past and can survive my future and learn to say – o.k thats disappointing but I will search again and ask again until I find true friends whom don’t want to control me the way my old friend did…. Be kind and put the stick down , you don’t have to have a reason to feel bad, you don’t have to know why – accept that you do and feel grounded in that, sadness and anger are not terrible emotions and will not destroy you – the alcohol that you take to hide these feelings will…. be sad :-< then be happy a little when the sun shines through the clouds on you, gently tap your fore fingers to your forehead and repeat – I love and accept myself, I love and accept myself…
You are loved and accepted … Good Luck xoxo
Ali Riz says:
no offense…is your friend you? tbh this sounds to me as if u r blaming ur friend, he didn’t literally force alcohol down ur neck YOU DID
Patrick Dale says:
The friend is the alcohol
anthony says:
What can I do to make it stop, I’m very tired of feeling like this can’t do it anymore
Emma Lovelance says:
Are you feeling any better??
Max Lovell says:
Read into mindfulness and stoicism – I’m not cured, but i’m better most days. the thoughts don’t have to be there, but they are – that doesn’t make them real. start to ignore (but not suppress) that voice inside your head telling you lies. it’s a shame it’s there, but it is. nothing to do but try acknowledge it isn’t telling the truth. feel fully, but include happiness in those feelings, and remember they are in your head. there’s a you under all that hatred which isn’t the hatred, try find it. sorry to ramble.
Rob says:
If someone got emotional unstability your actually using your higher intelligence in a bad way and that freaked me out too, once a bad self talk is to help yourself grow from the inside but everyday keeping yourself down aint good. I personally think you got to reconize where you hold yourself back and then search for a Mental Coach to keep up te positive feelings and self talk, you cant change in a day if you live this way a longer time! Coach yourself and be patient and you will be happie on your way
angerinferno says:
Hi…im feeling horrible about the choices i have made in my life…im a sexual abuse survivor..an ex doper..with over 30 years truly clean..ive lost my first child…been thru hell…and im still feeling like im in a prison…ive been a victim of several motor vehicle accidents…beginning being hit by a truvk when i was 13….im 50 now have gone thru 4 marital hookups…for which i have i was subjected to domestic violence…still a born beliver in a higher power…in whivh my laughter is my only revenge…forgive them lord for do not know what they do….i have been through the mental health system..given anxiety and pain meds to no avail…and just decided to say ftw…and accept it and say ok…im angry…now what….my quality if life is what is so important…i dont have the emotional reserve…to deal with alot of bs….i am a single mother of 4 kids…for which only 1 is home…16 years old….i really want to die..because it would seem less burdernsome on my daughter…and i feel like so many bad things have happened…it cant possibly get any better…but i came up with up with something…and i hope its going to take away those horrible awful feelings..that i hate reliving….i decide today…since it appears that i seem to have some car curse. .im going to get a tatoo on my wrist saying..b positive bear…..and everytime when i see my hand its going to remind me of my daughter whom has stood beside me through it all…it will be my affirmation to my myself a committment to her…and to remind myself to let go…all this negative feelings..frowning…is messing with my smile…and giving me stupid wrinkles…like a stepper….thanks for reading my post….perhaps finally a real place to vent..
Disorderlystudio says:
I send you a smile
(^+^)/
The poncho is wonky, but I love it that way.
T Hal says:
I don’t know if this is your original work of art or not, but it’s beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Emma Lovelance says:
Wow, what a story. I hope things are a bit better now.
Ixora says:
It’s society
Meredith Ogburn says:
Indeed.
Hate says:
At least you have people that cares love you
I don’t have that and never did
I wish I was the same way others are with me
I actually do care bout others but I have not one person asking me if I’m ok
Never did
Emma Lovelance says:
I care.
Ali Riz says:
I do
Ehsan says:
How are you dude? I care
Hate says:
At least you have people that cares love you
I don’t have that and never did
I wish I was the same way others are with me
I actually do care bout others but I have not one person asking me if I’m ok
Never did
Hannah says:
Well..Are you okay?
AUSTIN TEMPLE says:
I believe that there is someone who cares even if you don’t know it someone does
T Hal says:
Hi, I hope you won’t mind a sincere question. I’ve often heard the expression you’ve shared here. But I have to wonder, how does one KNOW there is someone out there who cares for one? More importantly, why should such a thing be true? There are countless examples of Third World children literally dying in dirt roads of malnourishment and disease without anyone caring for each individual child; or elders in the West abandoned to abuse in understaffed nursing homes, never to see their relatives again; or “friends” working and contributing to their communities who nevertheless, because we’re all free to choose whom we want in our lives, are neglected emotionally to the point they feel like mere machines instead of living and loving people. Sure, there are counter-examples, but the fact remains many, many people live horribly isolated lives. And following the myriad suggestions for changing this doesn’t change anything for many who most need it. I think people don’t need an ephemeral “somebody” who cares. They need a concrete person or people who cares/care. And I just don’t see why the universe/cosmos/world must supply this, especially in light of the mind-boggling examples of the need not being supplied already.
Jake says:
That actually cheered me up. Weirdly. Knowing that I don’t HAVE to be cared about to exist, and that there is many who are like me…helps. Thanks.
T Hal says:
Hey, Jake. You’re welcome, man. That perspective keeps me grounded, distinguishing between human wishes, and the way the world appears to work. A lot of the things we humans want don’t seem in the least guaranteed. For some of us, otherwise desirable things may be very improbable, especially when those things are limited resources for which we generally compete.
If you ever want to share more, I’d be interested in reading about your own perspectives and experiences.
Peace.
Ellepeep says:
What difference would that make (if it were true) if you don’t even know who they are…
Downed says:
I feel the same way. I’m always asking people how they are, if they are okay, if they want to talk and what not. but no one asks me how I’m doing or if I need help. It just feels like no one cares about me or what’s happening to me.
Kristin says:
I CARE!!!!!
T Hal says:
Thank you for pointing this out. Some people have absolutely no one. No family. No friends. Just coworkers who care about only the work, not them. And professionals who see them an hour a week. What about all the other hours comprising the week/month/year? Oh, and let’s not discuss the elephant in the room–that social groups out there are comprised of, um, people. So, the same social factors that might have led to some people’s painful isolation and eroded self esteem in the first place are often present in the social groups they’re encouraged to join as they “get out there” and “take control of” their lives.
Tash says:
My biggest prob is that I’m completely alone and I barely believe in God enough to believe that I’m His child or that I’m special. It’s just feels like He left me alone here too with only one soul who really loves me and that’s my child. My parents are fakes at loving me and everyone else only has phases of caring about me. It’s not real love. I’m a single mom and I have no one to turn to. IV already tried praying but sadly it’s not enough. No answers yet. I can only try to have faith and blindly go on. I would consider suicide but leaving my baby isn’t an option. Her father did that. My parents did that. I’m not gonna do that to her too.
Amber says:
I am a single mom and feel the exact same way. I’m a religious person but lately I feel even God has abandoned me. My parents didn’t want me my ex husbands didn’t want me. I have a beautiful daughter who loves me I feel guilty because I just feel so empty inside
Natasha says:
I know how you feel. I was a church girl for many years and I often would tell the people around me the same things. prayer isn’t enough. you need actually people to help along in life and real tangible solutions to your problems. Not just pie in the sky talk or platitudes. Hope comes when you start to see and believe there is a solution that you can have, touch, see, taste, experience. I wonder if the church people actually cared about me at all really. I don’t think so. I think they had their own agendas and loving people was not it. I hope this helps and you do find some people around you who are REAL PEOPLE and who will help you find actual help and solutions to your problem.
Pixie says:
Are there really any real loving, caring, empathic, compassionate people out there who’d actually WANT to be my friend? And not feel sorry for me or use me as their next “I pity her” Christian project? I’ve had the worst experiences with people who called themselves Christians. People are just awful in my experiences from my life. I’m sick of the fakers too!
Deen Pearls says:
Dear, God did not desert you. You did! Please try and look for the truth. Once you find it, trust me you will never exchange it for anything else. Look really hard and find the truth. It manifests itself to you everyday, you’re just not looking hard enough. With all honesty and sincerity ask God to guide your heart. Trust me, He Will!
What’s ones purpose in life?
We all meet death: depressed or happy, young or old, rich or poor, so why are we given life to begin with? There must be a reason. So please look for that reason.
Go out there and seek knowledge! You have the worldwide web at your finger tips. I know that sounds cliched but the point is that you need to speak to people of knowledge. Ask questions, lots of questions! If people are upon the truth they should be able to answer all your questions.If someone answers your questions inadequately then ask other people. Your questions are important to you, so find the answers you seek!
In case you are wondering what is this “truth” I am referring to, well please allow me to explain. The truth behind the creation of this universe and galaxies and all else that encompasses our knowledge. The people in this world, basically life as we know it. What’s the truth behind all of this?
I pray you find true guidance. If I have said anything here to offend you, please forgive me. I did not mean to offend you. I am only trying to help not make things worse.
Ehsan says:
My heart is with you, you wonderful mom
Pixie says:
I am in the same boat. I’m married and struggle daily with self hate, some days worse than others. Its a never ending battle trying to feel good inside for more than a minute. I don’t talk to my birth family and really don’t have support from anyone other than my hubby. I’m alone all the time.
Chris Brown says:
Hello, I hate myself. It comes and goes but when acute it’s relentless, like now. I’m married with three young kids. I work hard and when I stop working the hatred onsets, so there’s no peace, well, when it’s bad.
Pixie says:
Hi Chris, I’m sorry you going through this, like I have! I’ve had a bit of reprieve from the self hatred as of the last week. I’m extremely hard on myself and I’ve been working hard on giving myself permission to not be perfect. I’ve been working on my frustration and anger tolerance mainly with breathing exercises and more positive self talk. I’m tired of suffering so so much. Why do you hate yourself? Maybe write down why you do. Also make a list about what is good about you. Your good qualities. I did that last week. Are you suffering from depression? I have been for a long time. So write your lists. Writing the lists helps you put things in perspective. I’m a major perfectionist, but trying to just not worry if I make an honest mistake, apologize if I need to, if I’ve wronged someone. And if I’ve made a mistake say, playing piano or singing, I’m learning that its OK, and to just keep on playing, singing. I can work on correcting later and not to beat myself up when I’m working through whatever mistake I made before. Were human. Everyone messes up. Its just how we deal with it and see the problem in our minds. I realized that I deserve happiness, joy, to be forgiven and forgive, I deserve a good life, I deserve respect, I deserve to respect and love myself etc. Breathing exercises help a lot especially when your anxious, angry, nervous. It helps regulate your nervous system. See the good you, accepting the not so perfect you and giving yourself permission to be human, permission to take care of you. I have young kids too. It takes a lot out of you, can be very stressful. But can also be very enjoyable. Hang in there. I’m not saying I’m 100% out of the self hate thing, but its my perspective that’s changing. It takes time to develop self love and get rid of the crappy recording we’ve believed all our lives. I take it day to day. Hope my post helps you! Again, I so empathise, cuz I’m in your shoes.
Atosha says:
I feel like this all the time. I sometimes wonder if something is wrong with me. I have 2 boys and a 3 month old son. My childhood was not good at all and im just so afraid that I am going to mess up my kids and one day that they will feel this feeling ive been feeling for a few years now. Ive not always been like this.
portia says:
Life seems unfair to me and I feel nothing, I tried fixing my self but it becomes worse. Failing 4 times at varsity makes me feel like I’m a failure. I’m 26 turning 27 with nothing to show, no boyfriend, no qualification and no kids. Nothing seems working for me.
Onetwotesting says:
You are loved, and you are adored, just please, believe it. It doesn’t have to be life-changing when you just believe in your worth, it just has to be an act of kindness towards yourself. Because you deserve to be loved and you are. Allow yourself to love you. Allow others to love you. And Portia, or anybody who might be reading this, I really do believe those words. You don’t need to have a husband or wife or kids to be loved. I know society may seem to make it so it HAS to be a goal you reach, but you really don’t.
And you’re still young. Give yourself time and love, and patience. If nothing seems to be working, however hard you try, do one thing for me. Don’t try so hard. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Just let things be. However they are, as every moment comes, be there. You’re beautiful. I wish I could say those words to you, face-to-face, so you would really know, but PLEASE believe me! You are loved, just as you are, right now, wherever you are standing, sitting, if you crying or laughing, smiling or talking. Wherever you are, whoever you are, wherever you go, whatever you choose to do, you are loved, always. Allow yourself to see that, whatever it is you’re feeling. Just lets things be, sometimes it’s all we need for things to work themselves out.
N says:
Portia,
I am going through what is probably the worst self doubt and deprication I have gone through, but I do have it in me to tell you this. You have been on earth, alive, with a beating heart, for 27 years. You do not need to show anything to anyone. I’ve failed more times than I can count, but I promise you, you will succeed. Just wake up and tell yourself that you will do more today. You will smile more, you will walk a little taller. Someone out there will love you, will care, will see what makes you unique. Just know, I don’t know you, but I think you are someone I am proud of. You are strong enough to show how you feel, and I am proud of you. Keep on keeping on.
brad potts says:
go to a hobby store. find people who like niche culture. engage in social games, i play Dungeons & Dragons and the human interaction cheers me up to no end. the feeling eventually wears off, but a couple games a week keeps the blues away, funnily enough blues music helps too.
Jane says:
I understand where you’re coming from . I feel the the Same.
Me.
Tennman says:
These comments hit hole with me. I have nothing to. E unhappy about. Yet I continue to hate myself for every failure. I have no friends that I can talk to and my only one is now moving away. I want to kill my self but I am too weak to even do that.
Deen Pearls says:
No, please don’t think you need to kill yourself!! Please don’t think about it. If your entire purpose was just to die then you wouldn’t have been created in the first place.
Gerri Killee says:
OMG, I cried my eyes out reading this. I have been there, it’s depression. I encourage you to seek medical attention ASAP! You deserve it, you deserve love and to feel whole again. I don’t care what you’ve done or did not do in your past, you owe it to yourself and fAmily to treat the depression beast. Finally enjoying every bit of life you so deserve.
Coal says:
Sophie, asking questions is an interesting tool. Has to be the right questions, I’ve heard over and over again. I’m writing this to you and as a reminder for myself. Ask, what do I want to do that I will actually enjoy? If there is something, ask how can I really do this. If there isn’t something, ask, what was the last thing I enjoyed? Also, I am a firm believer in the body mind connection. It saved me. See a good endocrinologist and have a full panel of blood work done. No antidepressants, but getting vitamin mineral and hormone levels in the body right can save the day. Go to yoga classes. Everyone feels better unless you are suffering from a negative body image. Who cares though? You need to move your body in ways that are going to heal you. It works.
Another thing that has helped me is what u call “the one foot in the grave theory”. Imagine you are a very very old person lying in your death bed. What advice would you give yourself right now? See life may feel long but it’s going to be over for all of us. Is there anyway you can enjoy it more? It’s a relatively quick ride.
vanessa says:
i have been there i have two children i thought would be better off with out me. i gave up on life but then just didnt know how to end it. mostly because i didnt want to hurt my family. i remember lying down on the lawn and crying wishing i was on the other side. i feel so sorry that you are struggling with this for so long. i was sick . its not normal to live with that amount of sadness. i dont want you to take this the wrong way but please go get help from a proffessional. it doenst have to be this way. i would never believed if i didnt keep trying different meds until i came around. i wil be on them for life but i can laugh once more. it will always be a fight. but please understand that you are ill. please take you comment to a doctor. it says it all. hang in there you are not alone.
Beautyinthebroken says:
You know you are worth more than you think. I’m sick of being miserable in my life but for you and me lets challenge each other to make our lives the best. Everything seems to be going wrong in life but when we have to take positive out of it some way… Some how. If you want to feel satisfied in God fight for him. I have the shittiest life absolutely horrid whenever I turn away from him. But when I love him, not just saying it…. He always makes it better. If you want his holy ghost fight for it! God bless you princess, God blessed you that people that adore and the enemy is trying to waste time making you and me feel bad! Let’s challenge each other to live our short life on earth amazing. There is beauty in the broken, rainbows after rain, and eternal love from the lord.
Tralalala says:
Im crazy. I have a weird tick that manifests in my unconcious voicing of things like ” i wish were dead” or ” nobody loves me” . Im not even thinking these things when i say them. Try explaining that to a stranger. Or a girlfriend. Or employer. The thing is, this has been going on for so many years, i fear its becoming the truth. Im chronically unemployed and broke. I dont believe in god or the devil or an afterlife. I dont fear death. I dont believe in consequence on an eternal scale. I do not see the work of a loving creator in most people. And perhaps especially, myself. I need help, but i cant afford it. I have tried free clinics and mhmr programs, but apparently you have to represent a more imminent threat to the public at large to merit free head med. whatever it is, its accelerating in spite of my awareness of it. Like its growing in my brain. And yes, i know that sounds crazy and dramatic. I think thats my point. Im becoming desperate. And my interior monologue increasingly dark or at least pragmatic about likely outcomes.
Danny says:
Sophie, any chance you have sought help for clinical depression? I was diagnosed with major depression a few months ago for basically the exact symptoms you describe: emptiness, guilt, not enjoying life. The reasons are not just “life sucks” but can also be caused by chemicals misfiring in your brain. If you or anyone else knows the feeling, I strongly recommend getting in touch with a therapist or psychiatrist, and if you feel you’re not strong enough, ask a loved one. First and foremost, talk to your loved ones, let them know how you feel. They won’t be perfect, but they will be great sources of strength for you in their own ways.
cc says:
It sounds like you have gone into a state of hypotension… And you are shutting of your feelings to protect yourself from them. Don’t be afraid to seek help.
blacksheep says:
Sophie, I feel the same way right now and I don’t understand why. My family tells me they love me but it seems they are never here for me. My employer or employees don’t like me, I don’t feel that I can get advice from anyone which makes my decisions harder to make. I feel that my family loves me for what I can do for them and don’t love me for who I am.
I come home almost every day from work with no one to come home to. I feel I don’t like anything in my life. I don’t know what to do.
The One With No Hope says:
WHATEVER YOU DO, STAY ALIVE. A friend of mine lost her mother to suicide. I saw the despair in her eyes, for years to come. Her mother shouldn’t have acted the way she did. Now, my friend is stronger than most, but she almost gave in. Tragedy can force people to lose hope in God, or can cause them to put their lives in God’s hands. You have to stay alive. Swear it not to me, but to your family. Swear that your kids will not have to grow up without a mother, and that they may never have to doubt your love. Don’t have their father look in their eyes and see nothing but sadness.
T Hal says:
Are you saying that instead of despair in your friend’s eyes, it would have been better to have her mother stay alive and have despair in her eyes instead?
Indian says:
It’s pretty clear what the problem is. You have a good life, a husband and two two kids, in a reasonably good condition compared to 99.5% of the human race.
Practice some gratitude.
Do Negative Visualisation, Stoicism, charity events or talk to people who have it much worse off. Cancer patients, amputees, old men with regrets, people with distant familial relations, single moms etc
if you have suffered with this 14 years, doing this should not take much effort.
If you had this problem for a few months, it would be whining. But clearly you’ve been going through a rough patch
Wish you the best.
China says:
I feel the same way
kelly says:
i tried suicide and ended up on a support machine for a week, I saw the devastation it caused and saw that even though I had originally thought that my family was better off without me as I had nothing to give them – the empty black hole I was so ashamed of I thought would bring them down too. Talking to my family and asking them to Accept me as I was, accept that I was sad and disappointed at life sometimes, even though I was so proud and loved Them with all my heart. They understood more than I could have dreamed of and although it took them a while to stop trying to ‘fix’ me they did accept that I needed help… I now speak with a wonderful therapist (whom took me four different ones to find the right one) once a week, took a foundation psychotherapy course, walk and read a lot.. Don’t know about you sophie, but I was practically allergic to doing anything good for myself due to having looked after alcoholic parents and bullying sibling.. Doing something nice for myself, learning to look after myself, eating better, giving up alcohol myself was a step in the right direction…
Please know you are loved and cared for even when your not doing this for yourself. The world can be such a disappointing place and the emptiness inside can often be that we have so many different feelings like anger, hurt, frustration so repressed from early on that messed together can feel numb and empty – you are a beautiful human being whom deserves to be heard and deserves to have whatever feelings you have… write, write, write and write some more.. then pour our more feelings and if you need to cry or punch into a pillow then do so – You deserve your feelings and you are worthy of them…
Trinket Robinson says:
Thank you for that post
bhailog says:
I don’t know u …frnds I have told everything to my grlfrnd that m bad and m the worst afterthan she come in relation with me I don’t know wat she thinks about me at that tym…after being in relation with her I forgot my frnds my parents too she even knew that…but at last she goes with other person ..just because I abused her because I came to know that she is talking with other person …and that person say that she is prostitute for me…I don’t know wat the hell happens with me at that tym I want to die …no one is with me…I want to know that m wrong or ryt…and wat can I do to move on in my life I can’t forget this …
Kathy says:
Google symptoms of depression and then honestly do the “Goldberg’s depression test” (type it into google). Make an appointment with a GP and try to as honestly as you can explain the types of things that go through your mind and how you feel. They will help you, there are so many ways to confidentially get help so that you can have a normal, happy life again. Don’t suffer alone, because you do need help. And you deserve it.
Lostsoul says:
I feel exactly the same way. Its bad enough that I hurt myself with my negative thoughts but to know that I drag my kids and husband down with me really makes it worse. If I could disappesr & make them forget about me, I.would in an instant. I’m not worth all of the dead weight that I bring to my family: (
Kenneth Cernias Cananua says:
That is not true. Sorry for interrupting, but, I’ve also been in deep pains. And I hate concerning other that I don’t know personally. But, one thing I can say, If you’re still alive, You’re still in hope.
Pete says:
Don’t commit suicide
Try to enjoy life while you still have it, you gotta find something to do that you really like. live life to the fullest. Save up money and go on vocation with your family enjoy every moment with your family you never no when you will lose them.
If none of the above help you might need to get counciling
I hope I helped:)
GirlNobody says:
Reading your comment is unbelievable bc this is exactly the way I feel. I didn’t know other people felt this way bc nobody ever talks about things like this. I also wish I could just go be with God and my husband could find a helpful wife and my kids would not have to be a caretaker, but instead see joy. You wrote my exact thoughts.
emmm says:
I know why your feeling like this. All it is, is the devil messing with you just pray about it I grew up in church and got saved when I was 4 that devil STILL messes with me I always pray and it alwaus works just put your trust in God. Remember that Nothing is impossible with God.
cjackson059 says:
We live in a cruel world full of nasty and ignorant people and it hurts every day when you look in the mirror at yourself and envy other people. You must put that aside. I have one thing going for me and that is a dream and I am going to pursue it with full intent. I must not continue to lay in the shadows. I must let my beauty shine. I see so many beautiful people flashing their bright smiles and putting their faces in the sun and it seems so unreal but it is not. Time is the most valuable thing in the world because the inevitble truth is that everyone must die. Use time to go after something real and true. Use time to do something people will remember. You can not waste your time on what our pathetic society calls beautiful. You must free your mind. Being free from the chains people place upon you is being perfect. You.must stop laying in your own filth when you know it is filth. Live life to the fullest and have no regrets. You will never be as beautiful as you are now. That is the true definition of someone who is radiant with beauty. I am not even in the 10th grade and I have embraced the way of the world. Know I must apply myself to.my own advice.
Evan White says:
I have no clue if you are still here or alive anymore but I just wanted to add in. You are not the only one
Gaz says:
Grow in your faith. It dies away if you don’t nurture it and seek God in every last thing you do.
Meredith Ogburn says:
It sounds like you have clinical depression.
Bratista says:
I have a husband and two kids and feel the same way.
Sad man says:
I’m sorry you feel this way. My problem is similar but with no kids. My wife says she loves me. I have no self confidence. I’m a smaller man and sadly my life revolves around sex. So if I can’t stop thinking about it and that’s all I care about I’m so mad at being ungifted downstairs.
brad potts says:
being big hasn’t helped me. if you want more in your life start talking to strangers more. thats the easiest way i know of to find out about new things.
tamimi.90 says:
you gotta be so open minded to accept what im going to say but what if just what you are not on the right track what if you are not worshiping the right ‘God’ search for the truth look for debates online. Im 25 now and ive changed my religion 2 times. and my journey started by two simple questions 1.what if ive always been wrong ? 2.what if the what i think is completely wrong is actually the truth?
if u made sure the answers are no by looking online searching watching debates or whatever then congratulations you found the truth.
Kock Leong Ng says:
hihi sophie
don’t think that way… maybe you are one of the reasons that your hubby is praising God each day…
Ya, I know… It’s empty and feel like life is so meaningless… You love Jesus but still the void is there…
How about finding some purpose in your life? If your children are still not yet adult, how about teaching them to differentiate between right and wrong (morally)… If they are grown up, how about making the whole world a better place… (Eg create jobs for the unprivileged – eg homeless person etc)
Both will glorify God and let the world know much about our Abba Father
Jillian says:
Omgoodness….Idk what to say about your situation. I wish I could hug you and all your pain just fly away….I love you and I hope these words find you in a better place.
Emma Lovelance says:
Hi Sophie, are you feeling less empty now?
holly venderley says:
I know this was written a long time ago, but I hope you are doing better. I feel like what you just described is a textbook description of depression. I am also battling depression and I feel these same symptoms. How you described it as feeling “empty” is exactly how I feel many times and how many other people do. When you feel down without any reason for it, that is exactly how they described depression. Having depression is a very common thing. By saying this I’m not trying to say your problems are no big deal, but many people have gone through what you are/were going through and have gotten through it. I am not trying to diagnose you, but I would highly recommend seeing a doctor who can prescribe you medicine for it and also seeing a theapist. I am truly sorry for what you are going through, but with time, effort, and with the help of medication I truly believe you can get through this. I would also like to point out that not all anti-depressant medications work the same way. Some may work for you, and some may not. It might take some trial and error before you find the right one. I hope you are doing better though and all is well! People love you out there!
Chris says:
Wow don’t say that if you left Earth Joy is not what they would feel trying to figure out what it is you need to be happy and obtain it or at least work towards it my $0.02
Melissa Gaydos says:
I feel the exact same way😢
Have you found a way of changing those thoughts?
The more I fight the more I want something the more I loose interest.I’m to the point that I have to pretend Im exited about the things I was once interested in so that people won’t actually realize that I’m on the edge and just days or weeks from ending my world.
nijxixs says:
Hi so im 14 and this is my experience with my self-hatred. I loved being the weird confident kid i was until the first year of middle school. It was 6th grade and there was tons of new people and some things id rather not mention caused me to grow up very fast in a short amount of time. at the same time of my dear friends who is actually my 2nd cousin was struggling with depression, self-harm and suicidal thoughts. at the time i thought i could help. we would talk on facetime for hours every night because she lived hours away.Slowly she got better and i took a lot of burden off of her shoulders, but i didnt know that i wasnt ready for it. I was always worrying about her especially when i got to 7th grade. I would break down crying as often as 3 times a week in class alone and at home i cried almost every night. I was afraid she would kill herself, and i constantly revolved my life around her. my friends didnt notice much witch developed me to believe that they didnt care enough about me to ask why i was crying in the middle of class, although no one ever noticed me sobbing in the middle of silent reading time of a teacher’s lecture. slowly over the years i also became more self conscious, I started to change how i dressed to look like the other girls although that didnt change how i felt about my personality. That was the thing that hurt the most in 6th grade people would get annoyed with how bubbly and annoying i was to the point where i became isolated and mean. I thought it was cool to act this way, but I learned its cooler to be nice and love everyone then be judgmental, but instead i found myself stuck between 2 places when sometimes i act overly bubbly and my own family gets annoyed with me to the extent when they would send me to my room and my older brother would yell at me for being too annoying. And now I hate myself more then I ever have. I spend long periods of time looking into a mirror trying to find a beautiful piece of me. people now see me as a arrogant ugly annoying and i value their opinion so much i believe them too. It gets to the point where I dont what to go to school because Im afraid of the other kids and what they will say to me, even though more than half the stuff i hate about myself they havent even noticed. Im afraid of never being loved, some people say im pretty and that makes me feel good, but i look at all the other girls and boys who are ALL BEAUTIFUL and realize i will never be like any of them. My biggest dream is finding someone to love me, and my biggest fear is never finding that person, I get in my own head and I always end up breaking down and crying. I have had panic attacks in the middle of school, when all i can do to relive the stress is scratch my neck and wrists with my nails until they bleed and no one still notices. I HATE HATING MYSELF i want to love myself and enjoy life, but now im in 8th grade and wishing im dead because i feel worthless, because i am worthless.
Pixie says:
Hi Sophie, I was confused for a moment and thought I wrote this a long time ago. Its weird, I feel the same way. Hugs!
Jackie says:
I don’t know. I feel like my self hatred is justified.I have let procrastination and laziness take over my life. My house is a mess, my car is a mess. I no longer have anyone to tell me what to do or to judge me, so i only do what passes me, like a child. I work full time but I feel like that’s all I do. I signed up for classes to finish my associates I got one bad grade and decided to give up/slack off. I’m ashamed of myself. I hate everyone and despise their happiness. I suppose that’d mean I’m selfish, spiteful and bitter. I don’t like using depression as an excuse. I don’t have motivation to make things better. I procrastinate my life away and stall things until ours to late to do them anymore. This is why i hate myself.
JB says:
in contrast to you yet still the same I am all together. I have a great job, make a great living, have fabulous friends, an awesome son, yet I still see myself as a failure. How does that work?
AG says:
That’s exactly how I am and how I feel. Reading this comment made me feel better, I guess misery does love company. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I hope you know you’re not alone and we can change, to be the person we want to be.
dligac says:
I hate myself in the same way. I’m the same as you. Except I have no job. And I don’t want any. I have no plans or desires. I just want to leave this stupid place. I hate everyone and I hate myself the most.
pika says:
exactly how i feel too! i’m almost addicted to the procrastination of things to where the opportunity expires. i know the whole time what needs to be done and think of it it constantly and obsessively even leading to palpitations. i dont know if it is my way of proving im no good for anything or what… but i cant stop or control feeling like this. it has got so bad now i have not seen over half my closest relations for 2 years, it just goes round getting worse each day, i know they think im selfish for it and think i can just pull myself together but it gets harder each day to then remake contact due to the shame of leaving it so long. i also have lost all friends i once had and im on meds but cant face cbt etc. oh.
JB says:
why is it that when I read what is written it makes sense, but I still single myself out as different. I am so tired of looking at myself in the mirror that it makes me sick . I am a 44 yr old single female that will never find a mate because I never feel someone could actually love me. So why do I continue? I know it is a catch 22- i hate myself, so therefore noone else can love me, and that makes me hate myself even more, and so on….
Who says:
Girl, just look at yourself in the mirror, and listen to “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars, then you’ll see what losers the guys that rejected you are.
You’re amazing the way you are, don’t forget it. 🙂
Adrian says:
Well me too,,I never have relation never date someone,I’m unwanted I’m an entity that’s what I feel,yes I’m virgin but I just tired to change that,,I don’t care anymore now I’m avoiding my family they always ask me when I will bring a girl home or whatsoever I just keep working and working for my excuse,,I know its scary when my sister and brother got married and soon my younger brother will,,it feels like “damn what about me”, whenever I tried to approach girls they always avoid me,it’s not their fault I have a very scary intimidating face that can even scare away the bad guy and it is a fact!,,I just want to disappear and if there’s a God he will have to beg my forgiveness
Hope? says:
I was on here because I am having very negative thoughts about myself. Your post made me think about things. Maybe you shouldn’t worry so much about finding a mate. You are independent and there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe embrace your independence and enjoy your freedom. I was married 22 years , I in some ways was a good wife but I also made awful,stupid,immature, etc… decisions while married, so did my husband. Instead of ending our marriage we carried on as if normal. I enabled his bad behavior (by ignoring and groveling and blaming myself) and we both went on, he ignored or overlooked my very bad decisions . Until when he took on a much younger woman, he actually told me, that he still loved me and only saw her once every 6 months.( like that was ok,normal) . The light finally went off, and there is much more to the story, but at that point , I realized all these years I was actually rewarding this behavior. Now even at my older age I hate myself. But I think being away from him is better. I have met single women who love the independence, I am learning from myself and them to embrace it . I’m still a work in progress though.
Mask says:
From time to time I type into Google “How to deal with hating yourself”. I read the articles, read the comments & then move on for I never truly find the answer.
I truly despise myself. I feel I don’t deserve friends, caring family or any happiness in life at all. I constantly battle the darkness that I have inside and my family has seen how it pulls me into a state of sadness and depression. I always am able to come out of it and put on the mask of the loving husband and father. As I get older though, it becomes harder every day. The battle truly wears you down over the years and eventually it will be lost.
The only thing that keeps me going is the sense of duty that I have to my family. No matter what I feel about myself, my sense of duty always prevails. When my children move on and I’m no longer needed, then I can stop fighting and let my darkness finally win.
Do I believe in God? ABSOLUTELY! I’ve had enough God sightings in my life to make me a true believer. Do I believe I deserve to be saved? ABSOLUTELY NOT. It doesn’t matter what good I do in life and I will NOT have my darkness affect other souls.
For all whom are fighting the same demons that I am, I truly feel sorry for you. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Just remember that no matter how bad you feel inside, your family comes before anything else. Let them be the light that you fight for. It can get you through the day.
I will add one final item. I have never posted, shared my thoughts or discussed my view points before. Maybe after 24 years of fighting in silence, something has finally broken through.
I apologize if I have offended anyone with what I’ve said. It was not my intent.
barracuda43 says:
You have not me at least… but i have felt and am going through that feeling right now of feeling worthless, not good enough.. ect… I am a believer, and am saved and I have seen changes in me enough to believe god is changing me… for i despise the world not humans per say. But when I see how bad the world is getting, children abused, women raped, kidnapped, rise in violence, materialism. I wish I was never born. I would have rather been an angel with no will of my own and to serve god in all his glory and be his loving servant rather than a human full of sin and a free will…i would gladly trade my life and free will to have never been born and have been an angelic being serving god than to live on this earth… my life has been chaos since I was born, as a catholic raised i used to feel god hated me so much that he let me suffer physical, mental sexual abuse from my father, than my mother died when i was 3, my stepmother was an abusive person, burned my brother hands on a stove heater, for being hungry and getting into the peanut butter, that is the kind of child hood I came from…all my life I have had things happened to me. NOw I can say I have been blessed my second marriage with a loving husband and he adopted my two girls, my first husband was an alcoholic and extremely jealouse, physically abusive and emotionally. Atfter 10 years i finally divorced him and then a year later met my now husband. I have felt the love of god and christ’s redeeming love. I have seen changes in myself for the best but I still at times especially when I get so upset at injustice done on others i just cry and I cannot understand why humans can be so evil causing pain on others. I know there is a purpose … I do not question god i do not blame god I blame humans. I wish god had destroyed Eve when she disobeyed god in the garden of eden and had created another woman for adam an obedient god fearing woman… I would have destroyed all humanity during NOah’s day.. i would have not left one human alive… I am so sorry but sometimes I feel this way. I ask Jesus to fill me with the fruit of the holy spirit, to transform me from glory to glory.. I know I am saved because of the blood of Christ. At the cross and when I get angry i am so passionate about my feelings about wishing justice that I am so ashamed about my sin in anger… that I feel I am a stupid, silly, childish and scum because I do not know how to help others outside my home. I raised my daughters with morals, love as i knew it because i really did not know what it was to be loved. But I just knew I would treat my daughters with kindness and love and godly discipline. o They turned out decent good god fearing young ladies. But I still feel so worthless…. your not alone…
Danny says:
“Do I believe in God? ABSOLUTELY! I’ve had enough God sightings in my life to make me a true believer. Do I believe I deserve to be saved? ABSOLUTELY NOT. It doesn’t matter what good I do in life and I will NOT have my darkness affect other souls.”
“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Hope4me2 says:
This could have been written by me except I have become a not so loving wife & mother. Most all the posts on here could have as well. And as you, I have never posted before either.
michelle says:
I feel the same exact way. I just go through the motions of life and dealt with raising children, working multiple jobs etc. out of my sense of duty. I’m not basking in my misery in front of everyone. I try to keep myself busy all the while I know the darkness that lurks beneath me. I would never wish this on anyone. Like you I have only recently posted because I feel something is breaking inside of me.
farmerinthedale says:
I am almost 61. My entire life I have struggled with feeling not good enough. I am about at the end of my strength to endure the pain any longer. I am married (again) going on 12 years. We are so completely opposite in every possible way it is beyond comprehension. I’ve tried to be a people pleaser my entire life and in the process have lost myself. I know there is this person inside who is screaming to be happy but all that has eluded me. I’m in a job/career that I’ve been in most of my entire life and the pain of facing each day is to the point of wanting to be dead. The pressing responsibility of continuing to be a good provider and forsaking everything that I really want to be has created a hell hole of entrapment. All I want to do is run away and hide or die. I am such a miserable failure I can’t deal with it anymore.
Tiffany Marrero says:
Thank you for sharing that, you are brave and I know you are helping people by sharing your thoughts. Thank you!
Dylan says:
I really need help :/. I’ve been like this since I was 12 or so maybe before. As long as I’ve had realized thoughts outside of being a child. I hate myself
On a level that is overwhelming. I’m 20 goin on 21. So for the last decade I’ve felt alone. I know I’m ugly, I don’t see myself as attractive. I constantly stare at mirrors and always hate the reflection staring me back. This may sound dramatic, but I’ve never had a girlfriend. My whole life I’ve looked for a companion, someone to call mine, to feel loved but no one has wanted me. And I’ve tried, many many times, finding people I feel a connection with and hoping they do too. I’m a very good person, loving, kind, I have to malice or conciedeness in me. I just don’t wanna be alone anymore. A whole life alone is not a life worth living. And I know it’s because of my looks. I’m not cute and no matter what I am, the sweet person doesn’t matter if no one could get past the way I look. I mean I truly believe I would have had easily got someone to feel the same for me
If I was attractive, and as such I’ve tried so Hard in vain. As I’m getting older now I feel like look worse and worse. I don’t know what to do, I’m
Heavily considering plastic surgery, to feel
Better because I know it’s not goin to go away. And I don’t wanna live like this :/ thanks for listening
LM says:
Please know that you are loved and are cared for. TheHopeLine is always here for you. Please call or chat with one of the HopeCoaches at 800.394.4673 or to chat go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. Never, never give up on yourself.
Linda says:
you know if you really look at JZ, he is really not that attractive. So attractiveness doesn’t necessarily get the girl. But taking an interest in your look and self-confidence does work.
mike says:
I really needed to read this I felt so alone by my self an kept blamming my girl friend for it I felt un loved un wanted u felt ugly i felt like noone was here for all becouse of my dad an mom aren’t here I blame my srlf I call my self stupid I try killing my self becouse I feel unwanted I thank you guys alot for helping me every time I feel this way imma read this thabks
Trysten says:
Everyday if I’m at school or if I’m at home I’m always getting beat up, bullied and hated on I feel so unloved and uncared for its been like this since kindergarden i hate myself and everything about me I wonder why am I special why am I alive I want to kill myself I have always been like this and I can’t figure out why I don’t know why I should be living if I ever find anyone that loves me ill die from a heart attack
TheHopeLine says:
Trysten, Please know that you are loved and we care for you. TheHopeLine is always here for you. Please call or chat with one of our HopeCoaches at 800.394.4673 or to chat go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. Never, never give up on yourself.
Lynn says:
I feel so empty inside I try every thing I can to keep the man I love. I dont want to see him happy with anybody because he never gave any attention so I just feel like I hate myself because I feel like its me I try my hardest to keep him but I can’t ………….
Michelee says:
Please don’t say this. My heart hurts for you . You are loved and special. Are you being hurt in your own home? If so please tell someone. I know it’s confusing but you need to feel safe.
Arielle Le Blanc says:
Hey Trysten.. I do already like you. Do not kill yourself please. World is much different than it seems to be. How old are you? Those who cannot appreciate your existence are idiots. Yes even if those are your parents. Most people have messed up values especially in our materialistic society. They are simply blind. No one is perfect. You are not perfect either. There are many things you will have to work on this life and change yourself. But that doesnt mean that you have no value and that you shouldnt be respected. Thats nonsense.
barracuda43 says:
If you only knew how precious you are to god, my brother went through the same thing, i was a bit stronger so I could handle my bullies, I would try to protect him as much as I could. We lost our mother when he was born, my father blamed my brother for her death and hated him therefore abused him, physically, sexually and mentally both of us, he married a woman who was equally abuse but not sexually abusive. We always felt no body could or would love us. I thought god hated us. But now I am grown and a born again christian, my poor brother long dead. I have seen changes in my self and have felt god’s love and now I understand how much he loves us. Remember John the Baptist? He lived a life of a vagabond, living in cave he , eating locusts wearing animal skins was considered a crazy lunatic, anti social out cast. But did you know that even Jesus said ” there has never been a prophet or shall never be one like John the Baptist” I bet you he felt like you and me. Just remember dear one that those who are god’s children, the world and satan will hate. He will make our lives on earth a living hell. Because this is not our home we are sojourners here on this earth, we don’t belong to this world there fore the world won’t recognize as one of it’s own. Be happy and glad that you are not part of this world. Jesus love those who were lowly, and humble, those who were considered outcasts. Jehovah used sinners and out casts for his glory and purpose and were even part of Christ’s family lineage.. like Hagar the madam harlot one of Jesus’s ancestors, Ruth the pagan moabites who converted later. David who committed adultery, and murder.. Moses who killed a guard in egypt, and had to run and hide the desert for 40 years, before Jehovah used him greatly. . the 12 apostles were bullied, imprisoned, run out of towns. Boiled in oil, cut in half, be headed, hung upside down on a cross. etc… dear friend you see being in Christ and belong to him will set the enemy on you and the world will hate us and despise us . it is not easy to say because sometimes I suffer times of self hate and self loathing, but I turn immediately to god’s word for a shaking up to his powerful words of encouragement and then I fast and pray that has been my deliverance from self destruction and self pity. I wish I knew you to help you and encourage you and to tell you that you are so important to god … you have a purpose even if it is to use that suffering you have experienced to help others..I am glad to have had this experience of pain in order to understand others with the same sufferings to be able to help what I have learned through the precious word of god through the holy spirit. We have to endure and pray every night and morning as you rise never stopping. Day by day take a day at a time. Sometimes I think I become so overwhelmed with my emotions of worthlessness and self hate. That I have to go to my room pick up word of god and a book titled ” God’s transforming power” it helps me when I am feeling bad about myself. So take it a day at a time. It is crucial that you stay on the word of Jesus. Keep your eyes on him and he will carry you through each day. I do this myself.. The enemy attacks more when he sees how much you are growing in christ and he knows your weakness, it is a battle but through Christ anything is possible in your faith and hope that we will be with him soon, and receiving the crown of glory if we just run the race preserving and even if you fail and fall get up and do not give up or that is where our reward shall be. It is the race for our souls.. This world shall pass but god’s love never passes God is always the same never changing never failing, always l so please do not lose hope. Your soul is sooooo preciouse to god..
deb says:
I have a son who has suffered bullying for past six months and it breaks my heart people who bully are weak alone only tough together do not be afraid of anyone stand tall tell school my son has and the situation is getting dealt with and I won’t stop until it gets sorted everyone should be valued the same and everyone of us deserves to be loved 😉
Peggy says:
Trysten I went thru bullying years ago…even by the teacher who wanted to be in with the cool kids. I cried every day, but we didn’t consider suicide much back then. Don’t let these people define you, God does love you more than you can imagine. You sound like you may be depressed and there’s no shame in talking to a therapist or going on medication if needed. God gave his children the intelligence to become doctors and therapists. If you do this make sure it’s someone you’re comfortable with…sometimes you have to go to a few to find that. God got me through…He will do the same for you. God bless and don’t give up…He made you special!
Tabitha says:
Hi Trysten I am sorry for what you are going through right now, I’ve had to deal with bullies at school and at home so I do understand your pain. Please consider a free online counselling service, just Google it and see what comes up. If you have a trusted friend or teacher who you could turn to for advice. I don’t want you to die, those people who are hurting you will feel no remorse or guilt if you do that to yourself, that’s how wicked and cruel people are. Live and make something of your life.
Kayla says:
Oh my god. Don’t be sad. I’m also sad I’m I’m 11 years old. I’m almost 12. You are an awesome person and you should continue your life. Funny thing. I have s boyfriend whose name is Tristan( I don’t think he loves me. He kisses one of my friends on the cheek. He told my friend that he didn’t know why he was dating me and I wasn’t pritty and I had pimples). You shouldn’t kill your self( p.s I feel the same way and I’m a girl). Please I hate it when people die.😪😪😢😢. Please don’t die.
judy says:
I hated myself ever sense i was nine but i kept on going dealing with the pain and sadness but when i saw the famous Ann Miller . she told me that it doesn’t madder if you did something wrong it just matters if you have love with family friends then the past wont bother you and just one thing if you believe in me god and happiness the you will be OK . Ever since the i listen to her and now you just have to get through life and one suggest en don’t ever give up keep trying and believe
shelley says:
I really hate my life.I have always been in controlling relationships and it seems it doesn’t get any better.I’m always walking on egg shells to please him,he is always accusing me and the list goes on.I’ve done nothing but cry and wonder what I’ve done to have a life like this…
Ethan says:
I feel like nobody likes me the way I am!
Alex says:
I hate myself. I just was pampered, and now I feel depressed. I am not worthy to be here.
Blink i dare you says:
i just dont like me. every time im out with my family i screw something up.i just hate me… i know that im soo weird that no one ever talks to me other then 5 friends at school.i just dont like me
hannah says:
I’ve began to notice I’ve been developing signs of depression, which makes me hate myself even more. I feel like my family is unhappy with me in their family, I’m always crying because my feelings have been hurt or I’m just mad at myself for something. it’s been an awful feeling and my parents seem to have no consideration for how I’ve actually been feeling. They just stand there and call ME rude, inconsiderate, selfish, ungrateful, a piece of work right in front of my face. They seem to not understand that these things kill me inside, hating myself because I’m not a good enough child. I’m only 15. The only time I can make them proud is when I play sports. That’s all. I don’t make phenomenal grades, I annoy them, I’m “needy”, I’m always in their way. It seems to secretly be all about them. They always give the same old we love you speech. I think it’s bullshit they’re saying because they’re my parents. I know they do love me, maybe. But it doesn’t seem like it. You don’t show love by letting me shop, or give me things I want. Seems that’s what they think it is. I feel empty. I always feel my friends hate me. I’m always fighting with my sister. Its all bullshit and I’m starting to develop these feelings, evaluating my parents words of what they think of me and it makes me HATE MYSELF.
Karl Greenberg says:
I’m just an idiot
Kylie says:
I have hated my self for a long time my mom abusive boyfriend has raised me ever since I was little to be a fighting machine I almost killed my friend when I was 7 he moved away I was lonely for a while after that I couldn’t make friends we’ll I live an abusive home and found out my real father left my mother cause of me … I am bullied at school and no one seems to care about me … I wish I wasn’t here and I hate me and my life I have attempted suicide 2 times but failed because someone had stopped me I have been to a mental asylum for cutting my self depression suicidal thoughts and a lot more , and I’m tired of it this new medication they have put me on hurts me but they won’t take me off ! I still want to die ! I don’t belong here ! Please someone help
Anonymous says:
I can really relate to this article…
I absolutely hate myself. I’m 16 years old and the past couple of years I’ve started to hate myself more and more every single day. I’ve thought about commiting suicide more than once, but even for that I’m too much of a coward.
When I was a kid I didn’t used to hate myself, but everyone else did. I got completely ignored in school by my classmates and out of school I barely had any friends.
Now people do like me and hang out with me in school, but deep inside I still hate every single piece of me.
I have had a few boyfriends, but I kept breaking up with them because I was too scared that someday I would somehow hurt them and I just didn’t want to ruin their lives.
I keep hiding my self-loathe from the rest of the world. On the outside I look like a happy little girl who loves to make music and is very polite and kind to other people.
But when I get home, that’s when the drama starts and I start hating myself more and more. For some reason I keep taking all of the anger I have towards myself out on her and I hate myself for it! I’m honestly a little brat, who doesn’t know how to respect her own mother and believe me in her eyes I’m the worst daughter in the whole wide world. She even tells me I look like my father, who used to abuse me and once she’s said those things she just acts like she never tried to hurt me.
I absolutely hate myself and I wanna be a better person, but I don’t know how. Even typing it out here makes me feel worse about myself.
But I have to get it out of my system and since I have absolutely no one to talk to about this, without them thinking I wanna get loads of attention, I thought that this might help… But I’m not so sure.
I wish someone could help me, but I know that there’s nobody out there who’d even think about helping me.
Sincerely,
A horrible person
mediocrebrownhair101 says:
Dear Anonymous,
I want you to know that you are not alone. As I was reading these comments, I saw yours and felt somewhat relating to your situation. Please know that your life will not always be this way! One of my favorite quotes is “Think of all the beauty around you and be happy.” -Anne Frank. I’m sure you can count some of the things in your life that make you smile or feel alright—not perfect…but alright. Just try to focus on not all the misery around you, but of the good things still there. That’s the start of being a better person. Grow closer to your friends, and maybe try sharing how you feel. You’ve already taken a step by sharing here–on a public website. I think that it is fortunate when someone has friends. I don’t have any, which is embarrassing to say as a sixteen-year-old girl.But I’m trying really, so hard not to define myself with silly things like that. And you should too. I really believe in your ability to help yourself! 🙂 I don’t know if you are a Christian, but I’m praying for you.. 🙂
Sincerely,
Someone who thinks you are strong enough!!
thequietman says:
hmmm.what exactly are people looking for by admitting what they know the truth about themselves?
we mess up on purpose because we care more for others than ourselves and because we feel we do not deserve anything of true value in life we take on the persona of a charles atlas icon
.”the world on his shoulders.” because we can make everybody elses problems solved ,but dare not approach our own.yet still falsely we believe we
Kaye says:
I hate myself because of my appearance. Many nights I cry myself to sleep trying to find relief. A few times I have taken an overdose of sleeping pills but it doesnt work. Why am I here? I want to kill myself. School is hard, I am depressed and I am nearly failing. I just want to go in a deep hole and hide. I have no help just no one to help. Only the victim knows. When someone tries to cheer you up and explain things to u like u are gods creation, or u are unique, or the most popular one~words cant hurt. Well it does because we have hearts and brains. We have feelings. Most times it is depressing especially when u are nice but the only thing people always see is ur flaws. Just remember this we only have one life. You are not alone. I am not alone and so arent you.
ugly girl says:
what i would do was go on google and see things i could do to make me prety or something but then i just realized that it was never going to happen me ever being beautiful because nobody can cure ugly…unless you get surgery but who would want that it just be better if you werent born and thats what i kept telling myself. i hate myself because everytime i look in the mirror i dont like what i see and i see a UGLY GIRL and that girl is me. i can’t help to point out all my flaws out and it hurts me that i got so many. i compare myself to every other girl i see at school and i always end up being ugly and feeling it. ive never really liked myself since i was in the fourth grade i would always be that ugly girl and i still do feel that way. sometimes i wonder if anyone ever gets tired or their eyes start to hurt just by looking at me.
Who says:
I wanted to read something like this because…well today I had to run some laps and if you saw me you would probably say, “WOW, SHE’S FAT!”, so running is not the best thing to do.
My knees were hurting REALLY bad and I had to stop multiple times, and when I saw some kids playing near the track I was scared someone would post a video probably called, “Lazy, Fat and Crying, LOL XD” and then people would comment on it with things like, “She just wants attention” or “go on a diet! XD “.
After we did laps, I cried, like A LOT,and my “friends” (people just saying nice things to make me feel better.) and I still felt like I failed.
I’m sorry for acting like a drama queen…I just wanted to talk about it.
Crap, I’m crying again.
Sofie says:
I hate myself because Im not even special… I feel worthless. I don’t even know why God put me here. Compared to the other girls at school, I’m garbage. And I know comparing yourself is a bad thing to do, but I can’t stop. Their all so pretty and atheltic, but I have pimples and messy curly hair, and I can’t run without getting winded. I suck at every sport Ive ever played. The teachers hate me, because I’m a liar. I dug my own hole. And I can’t get out. No one will help me in real life. My mom, teachers, friends, they just don’t get it..
It just feels like itd be easier to die than live with this self loathing.
AnneRose180 says:
God put you here because He knows you are strong enough to live life and overcome. He also knows exactly your struggles and just how hard it is for you sometimes, or maybe all of the time. But He loves you, so much. No matter what you do, what you see yourself as, God will never stop loving you. And He wants you to remember that you are worth it all in His eyes.
Physical imperfections don’t define you. Perfection doesn’t define those other girls. Beating yourself down about this only makes it harder to overcome. I’ve learned it time and time again. All you can do is just pray. Pray to overcome. I know it’s silly. But the only one who can handle this perfectly is God. I know how this feels. I try to change myself, starve myself, abuse myself with words, but what is the real answer? Nothing. My ways never worked, because I thought I had to change myself to solve it. The real answer is to accept that you are you….and you are good enough.
Pretty tough to do. I’m still trying too, so you’re not alone in this. Just pray–even if you feel it wasn’t heard. He’ll be there.
I don’t know if you’re a Christian, but just try to take that first step if you are tired of trying to survive on your own. I’m praying for you.
Matthew says:
Well, I don’t feel happy in my life. I have an incredibly low self esteem, I always care for other people. My Mom and Dad both left me when I was 3 years old, only to be brought in by my parents Denise and Jim; who had 3 other kids, my sister Mallorie and I have been housed by them for the last 10 years and it’s been an emotional struggle for me. Here’s my story, I used to be bullied like no tomorrow, I was picked on for my issues and people badgered me constantly about it. My Mom and Dad have an intense favoritism of my older brother, my Grandma favors my cousin Austin because I’m an atheist and he’s a “goody two shoes Christian who gets his ass up to Church every Sunday”, but I lost all faith by the time I was 9 years old, I realized deep down in this world there probably is no God and I’ve sort of accepted that fact. The next two years went by, I still had issues, I was still picked on. In the 6th grade, oh boy that was my worst. My issues soared more than ever, I had girls who didn’t reciprocate the same feelings, I had people pick on me for my anger issues, and by May, I was expelled after going to an alternative school. I transferred to another school, only to be picked on again, being called “herpes face” because of my bad acne, I didn’t care anymore, the year went by, and yeah. The 8th grade, was my breaking point; I pushed my Mom into a staircase, and I still constantly live to that emotional torment, my girlfriend left me around 9 days after that because she was scared; I was at my edge, I was attempting suicide, I began smoking cigarettes, and pot. My Grandma didn’t want me at her Christmas day event with everyone if I was getting suspended from school and I felt rejected until my Mom said something that I should go and no one deserves to be “alone during Christmas; especially your own family”. I then had another girlfriend who left me sighting “differences” when really she became a lesbian.. These months went by, during the summer I thought of suicide, but I could never do it. My friends Gavin and David would talk me out of it a lot. In August, school came back, I was so unhappy, I had girls call me attractive who hated my guts three years ago. But then I met a girl who is the light of my life, Elysha. I lover her a lot and I asked her out eventually, she said yes. We’ve been dating for a bit and she’s an amazing girlfriend who I love more than anything and anyone; she’s accepted my mistakes and this time reciprocates the same feelings. I also began running more and trying to ride my bike, I feel somewhat happier in my life but I can’t quite get rid of the torment from my past.
ELM says:
I thought I had the love of my life and had to kick him to the curb for his cheating. I feel like I’ve lost 15years of my life. 13 with him and the 2 years I’ve been grieving. I still work with him and have to see him occasionally. So disappointed in all that life has handed me so far. I am born again and feel like a loser because I keep giving this over to God because His “yoke is strong” then wind up in depression again every day. What’s wrong with me? I hate myself and want out but have people who depend on me. I don’t believe in love or happiness anymore even though I know God promises it.
Me says:
For a long while now I’ve been feeling down I think about 2yrs Ican’t I can do anything right,I tried turning to God but I ruined that too. I would have committed suicide a long while ago if I didn’t know its a sin. I put up a happy and cheerful expression when I’m around people my mum recently noticed it. I know God loves me but its hard to believe sometimes. I am so tired of life ,if I weren’t so scared of hell id have committed suicide a long time ago. My life sucks and I.need help but I don’t really trust anyone and if Ithink God is sick of hearing me complain
Todd says:
May as well share my story since I read ya’ll’s, All my life I’ve always felt alone like I have a older brother but he never cared for me and both my parents prefer him over me. I didn’t have many friends I just had two and with being alone I took on smoking weed regularly cause it was the only thing to make me forget who I am and I can actual smile and enjoy things. Then few years later I met the girl of my dreams and she was my 1st real love. We dated for 3 yrs 2 months and she broke up with me and during that time she was the only person there for me. If it wasn’t for her I would have spent a few Christmas’ alone and every year of my birthday. So I was actually happy, like a real happy then after we broke up I just went back to who I was before just a lonely outcast. Just few days after we broke up I guess I could call it my dark time. I didn’t eat for a week I lost my job and when I went to do some work for extra money and I couldn’t do anything cause i didn’t have the strength. I just kept getting dizzy and shaking it was hard to stand. Then when I tried to find someone to talk to me or just anything and I couldn’t. find anyone I had gave up all my friends so I could spend more time with my ex gf. Then that’s when I started taking pills to make me feel numb and one day I just wanted to escape so I took all the pills I had left and washed it down with liquor and then I don’t remember much. I just remember waking up on the floor with black vomit next to me and my left arm had been cut up with a knife and my arm was soaked in blood. I had real bad pains in my kidneys and stomach areas. My mom did see my cut up arm and she didn’t even talk to me about it. She just talked about herself which kinda made it worse. I’m still here and I still talk to my ex on daily basis when I wake up till we fall asleep but that’s all.All I really have to look forward to now is talking to her and I’m sure she’s the only reason I’m still here cause I don’t want to break her heart if I did something to myself again. She’s all I ever had. My family doesn’t care about me I haven’t seen any of them in years. And sadly I never had a family member to tell me happy birthday well my dad can’t even remember me on birthday and that hurts so bad. Btw, I wait every year for a phone call to tell me happy b day but it never comes. Am I that bad of person that no one wants anything to do with me? I’m tired of crying myself to sleep, tired of always being alone and not having any one. All I got left now is my music, video games, and my weed that’s my life right now…sounds fun right ?
Sorry I went to far I just had a lot if stuff I wanted to say.
Marie says:
hey, i can relate to you massivley. although i havent quit smoking weed, you should maybe cut down. although you feel good when you are smoking it it makes you feel more down when you are sober, at least thats the case with me. i only smoke some to help me with sleep now. love does terrible things to you when it goes wrong. i like to talk to people over the internet, maybe make friends over forums about the things you are interested in, you dont have to be alone. i had a lot of heartbreak with my ex, i got strung along a lot, and i thought enough is enough i deserve better than that. i have also thought about hurting myself and took pills but it never helps, i just feel guilty afterwards. i have been in this situation for a ages, almost 5 years now, and i find the best thing is to look for your passions, be creative, read lots about anything that excites you, go for walks in the middle of the night look at the stars, anything to break the cycle. its just a suggestion, when i do this i feel different. the stars make me wonder, which helps my mind drift from all the negative things. i am feeling very alone right now, but i like to think its a chance to get to know myself, spend a lot of time doing the things i want to do, teaching myself things i want to learn. people say life is too short but it is the longest thing you will ever do and all you have is time, give yourself a break and thankyou for opening up, there are many of us that are too frightened or ashamed to talk about their problems, remember you are brave and there is hope, i really do hope you feel better soon. another thing is change, i move my room around a lot so i dont feel like im stuck in the same room, it might work for you, but we are all very different. it pains me to know a LOT of people out there feel the same as i do, i would not wish it upon anybody, i really do hope this helps. take care and stay positive if you can, x
michelle says:
I quit my job because of how stressed I was. So much so that I was taking everything out on my kids. What sucks is that now, my husband tells me that this is why I’m a bad mom and why he is considering divorce. I try so hard to make everyone else happy before myself, and when I do something for myself my world comes crashing down. It’s hard not to hate yourself when this happens. I do feel like my very existence is a burden to everyone around me. Maybe my girls would be better off if I weren’t in the picture anymore…
sharmila says:
hi michelle hang in there..you are a well deserving person ..god loves you a lot….and your girls love you more…pick yourself up n live..you have immense strength in you..please dun ever give that up
Sickoftrying says:
I am a waste of space and i hate myself. Im ugly, fat and weird. Im worthless and no body likes me. I have no friends and no hope for the future. Its been years since i picked up a blade but temptation runs so deep
Rashed ALrashed says:
I hate my self but i accept my self i don’t see that i am worth thinking about but i am fine i don’t need to like my self as long as i accept who i am. I am just empty that’s why i do everything
Sasha says:
I am a 21 year old woman; and have given up with both myself and life. I remember being happy at primary school, but when i started secondary school that changed. I knew no one, the only friends i could make were very sweet but very ‘different’. People i knew i wouldn’t be life long friends with them. In classes where i didn’t have friends i just day dreamed, dreamed of being an adult, having no school and of being happy. These dreams were enough to keep me going. When i left school i went to collage part-time and for the first time since i was a child became truly happy.
I made friends with a close group of 4 girls and a boy; we got drunk together almost everyday, they did drugs too, which i did try when i got to 17. Well i loved drugs from that first time, life was a party i was defo making up for those horrible school days. Then when i hit 19 i knew it was time to grow up. I got a full-time job, started to quit drugs and the only alcohol i aloud myself was a friday night down the pub. I remained best friends with the 5 people i’d met at collage, but then one of them ‘Laura was murdered. Her bf was a brute but non of us saw it coming. All of us went into meltdown then; drinking non-stop, drugs the lot. I ended up in hospital and can never drink again or that’s it for me. So i went sober again, and 1 by 1 all the group put the drugs and alcohol behind us. Life has never been the same since; slowly but surely ive been sinking deeper into myself. Our group is no more, non of us talk much although we still count each other as best friends.
Over the last two years i’ve been too 16 funerals, almost all young, and mostly to do with drugs. 3 months ago the boy of our group James who was my best friend, my soul mate and my family took his own life. I wasn’t in a good place before, dead end job i hate, weekends sat in watching tv; fun no longer a part of my life. I used to be the biggest party animal about. Since James has gone, i just feel empty, angry and out of control. I always used to put a smile on my face, even when i was crying inside people would make comments about how i was always so happy. From 16-19 i was happier then i think most people will ever feel, i think that’s why now i just can’t find that fake smile anywhere, I know what happiness is now. I know i’ve had my share, i can’t dream about the future, dream of being happy with friends. I’d done it for real and it’s in the past now. The future is just going to be the same dead end job, same boring nights in, no one i can talk to. I can’t even have children which had always been my final dream. There is no point, i dream of going to the pub and going crazy, downing vodka like the old days; passing out for the night and never waking up. I can’t do that to my mum though.
the nobody says:
I do hate my self because of what others think. And that my life has a lot mistakes, my parents just don’t understand, I feel like the dumbest person in class, and I’m just, well, jugded by everybody.
Johnny Bravo5713 says:
God said in the Bible
Judge not, that ye be not judged.Matthew 7:1
So if people are judging you.God will judge them and you dont be worried about that.Just make yourself cool with God.
I made a lot of mistakes and was going to give up on life but later i got through.So can you.Just be strong girl!
Take care and live your life :0
hasty says:
I’m 44 alone woman, so lonely most of my friends got married
and left me alone despite all the good things and kindness that I have done to
them and was there for them always, all the time, all the time, everyone says
that I’m so kind but they leave me so easily, as easy as if I don’t call them
they won’t .never, ever with no reason.
I’m alone and in Canada
with that freaking cold, sad weather. All my family, mom and brothers are in another
country that I see them once in a year. And no going back to them is not an
option right now.
I wake up several times during the night and thinking why,
why this happened to me. I know I shouldn’t say such a thing like why me but I can’t
help to stop those though that bombarding me, killing me and drowning me in sadness, starts from morning as soon as I’m out of the
bed to the night. I have ajob that I
hate but I even don’t have strong motivation and strength to change it.And now
food becomes my everything: my family,
my husband, my kids, my friends, my pet
my love …. And yes I’m a lonely, fat 44 year old female that surrounded with
lucky, happy people and she is invisible to them.
I believe in god, I used to be a strong believer but I don’t
believe that he likes me. I’m deprived from the simplest human needs that is
love and to be loved and that’s not fair. I did everything, it is not fair
I can’t, I can’t write one more word …sobbing
mm says:
I often feel very hopeless, because I keep falling into the same habits over and over again. I really do want to change and do what I want to do, but I think I am holding myself back because I hate myself so much and tell myself that I’m not good enough which makes me hate myself even more. I really do want to change but can’t bring myself to change and it’s killing me to be stuck in this ongoing cycle. I can be positive and ok sometimes, but when I start falling into a rut again the hatred comes back and I don’t know how to stop this. I really want to stop doing this and change, I REALLY do, but I’ve continuously tried and failed. I don’t want to be here because I don’t feel like I can change because I’ve can’t stick with it. I don’t want to keep living and interfering with peoples lives, but I know it will interfere with people that for some reason care about me if I take my life. I don’t know why I was put in this Earth to be a screw up and hurt other people. I welcome death and yet I don’t quite feel I can go down that road. I just hate being stuck in limbo like this. Please if there is any advice for me to be a better person and stop hating myself so much so that I stop hurting others, it’d be greatly appreciated.
A says:
How do I tell someone that I hate myself? I feel like I can’t tell anyone because they’ll assume that I’m trying to get attention or just overreacting. I feel like I am incapable of talking to anyone about how I feel because I am so scared that they will judge me or try to “fix” it by telling me, “Oh, everyone loves you!” I’ve tried talking to my mom about it, but she doesn’t help me either. I feel like I am keeping this from everyone and like I am lying to them an that makes me feel even worse. I just want to stop feeling this way and believe me, I’ve tried, but nothing works permanently because in a few days or one to two weeks the feelings of hopelessness and self-hate are back stronger and I just don’t know what to do anymore.
abby says:
In all of these quotes, it is saying ,”I used to hate myself.” Key word ‘used’. What if we still do?
Mapp says:
I hate myself. I remember a lot of stuff from my past, a lot of bad stuff that happened to me, caused by others, caused by me. I don’t usually remember happy things, mainly the bad ones. I am hard/strict towards myself when I’m commited to do something, I seek the perfection in many things. Yet, when people notice my skills and I’m requested to do some things I immediatelly think that I’m no good, that my skills in ANYTHING are awful. After doing the task I was given actually pretty well for a first time trial I take the refinement advices, given by long-term professional, as a list of failures I’ve done. Now that this has been going on for years I’ve noticed that this “fear” of not doing things right effects my skills of learning. When someone tells me to do something I’m so consentrated on listening that I’m not “actually listening what he/she” is saying. Because of this, in many cases things have to be told to me step-by-step as if I’m simple-minded. This is bizarre since in many cases I get a very thorough – very professionally thorough – analysis of the whole job process after first try. In these cases I could tell the people I work with some better working methods, but I don’t trust my on logic, not even when I’m actually right. I really hate myself.
This guy says:
I fail at every friendship or relationship I try to start. I cant finish anything I start. I Have now been to school for makeup, which was a dead end, I gave up after a year because i thought it was too hard. nowim 22 living with my parents andm y boyfriend, back in school for heath care, and feel useless. I hate myself. My life. My family. My loved ones. Myself. I feel like if i give up now, im doing the world a favour. I really just dont see how anyone could apprechiate me.
Emily says:
I am 17 and can not stand anyone looking at me, I hate what i look like, what clothes i wear and the feel of them and i always feel disgusting in my self. I always have an urge to go in the bath even if i’m out shopping because my hair or skin is irritating me and i try to scrape/scratch my skin away or keep pulling at my hair. I always flip out at everyone who irritates me and i cant even sit in my own room or concentrate on anything. I also suffer with bad stomach cramps, diarrhea, headaches and muscle pain (Hip and Back pain). I dont always feel like this but id say 90% of the time i do. I also feel like i’m going to die and get short of breath and always go light headed… Can anyone help me please? I’m sick of my Mum not taking me seriously and i think the doctors would just not care.
TheHopeLine says:
Emily, We are here and we are listening. You are not alone in what you are experiencing. We are sending you an email to help you further with what is going on. Please check your email. Also, another resource is signing up for and email mentor that you can email with back and forth for as long s you like. You can sign up at this link, click on the email mentor tab: https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Please never give up. Chat with us anytime 24/7 to talk about what you are going through.
molly says:
Glad to see I’m not alone
merce says:
Hi, i hate myself i really do i cant ever seem to make any friends i try so hard wishing i could be skinnier or prettier and it never haooens, i starve myself to just be thinner, to feel thinner, i have a horrible personality and people hate me for it, im never the person they go to to hangout or talk to no matter how hard i try to be there for them I’m stilleft.behind thinking what i couldve done diffrently to maybe be liked by someone, by anyone. People think the whole sad look i always have is for attention but its really just me, im sad, and i cant do anything to fix it. I have no one to turn to no one who understands. I just want to feel wated i want to not be sad anymore, but thats impossible because im someone no one could love
Sean says:
I’m working on fixing myself, I was resorting to alcohol for the longest time as a way of numbing the pain. One day I realized it was the wrong thing to do to deal with it and that I was hurting the ones I loved. It’s been a slow and painful processes but I think I’ve finally come to a point where I can appreciate myself.
ischa23 says:
Feb 8,2014 I just lost my mother used call me so much name she was emotional physical mental person I was call dumb stupid ugly all the names in book I felt like my mother never love I never got hug from my from my mom I grew up without father so I felt my mom never love me I feel she hated me me now I’m married of 3yrs I feel my husband hates me i don’t knw if he loves me i don’t knw it wasn’t shown to me i feel ugly i hate myself i don’t love my self
junkie says:
i hate myself cause im a fucking junkie piece of crap. i’ve stayed up all night shooting stimulant drugs and i’m so addicted and feel so alone and hopeless in this addiction of mine. 🙁 right now im crying and typing this message and being strung out. i’ve hurt so many of my close people and done a lot of bad things and i cant stand myself. i’m so sick of myself and my weak personality. i hate myself.
Taylor says:
Read pema chodron’s “Start Where You Are” or ‘when things fall apart’. Gabor Mate writes some great stuff about addiction. You might find it useful. Sending you love and strength my friend.
anon says:
I have been saved. I understand God’s love. I try to be better. I have a great husband and 4 wonderful kids. My life isn’t perfect but it’s really really good. And I just want to disappear forever. I realize that it’s wrong and I’m not trying to kill myself again but there’s just so much empty inside of me that I can see the attraction. I realize that’s stupid and I’m not trying to act on i t, or anything like that, but it’s not because of my appearance or relationships or any of those things you mentioned. I just feel like everyone would be better if I wasn’t in the picture. Intellectually, I realize that’s a load of poop, but I feel like it would fix everything. I know in my heart that I will ruin everyone’s lives around me with my existence. I know in my brain that I’m an idiot for feeling that way. I hate myself. How do I fix it?
Victoria Lyn says:
I feel like I cause pain on purpose. I get an attitude over little things and it’s ruining my relationship. It’s like I don’t know how to apologize or admit I’m wrong. I just expect it to go away and everything to be normal again, but my boyfriend won’t let it be like that. I’m always causing something to happen, I feel like I’m so used to it I think it’s normal. My last relationship really messed me up in the head, & I feel like I’m taking that with me in this relationship also. I’m literally driving myself crazy/insane.
Taylor says:
I can relate to your experience Victoria. I am stuck in a pattern of sabotaging my relationships even tho that is the last thing I want to do. I wish us both the strength and wisdom to change these patterns. We deserve so much better.
lost says:
I do hate myself. I am a senior in college and I majoring in international studies (which is a joke). I have one class a day and i work whenever im not in class. I started off as an undecided major but took a really cool neuroscience class. I almost could of pulled off a neuro major even though i started late but i thought i wasn’t smart enough. i was valedictorian of my high school but my gpa is only a 3.77. I feel inadequate and like i have failed. I can’t make it through this semester because everything feels meaningless. I hate myself. all i do is work and i can’t even afford a laptop for school. i hate college and i hate wasting such a valuable opportunity because i am too stupid. I could of been happy and doing something smart but instead im having the biggest joke of a semester ever. I don’t understand how anyone could feel satisfied with 4 easy classes and not learning anything. i hate it and it’s too late for me.
hope says:
I always felt out of place growing up. My mom even told me she hated me on a couple occasions, and I’ve dealt with depression since I was 11. My mom always wanted my us to put our feelings in a box and lock them away. I just can’t deal with it anymore. 8 years ago one man did something horrific and tore my family apart. They’re are more questions than answers. I spent most of my twenty’s being there for my family. I don’t regret it, because the person I cared about most is doing great now against all odds. However, I slipped into a deep depression over the Summer and when I went to parents about it, because I wanted help. My mom called me a selfish b* and said that I am on my own. I haven’t talked to them since. I still suffer from depression and I feel more alone than ever. I hate myself. I have to be a horrible person for my parents to turn me away. I don’t drugs, drink or prostitute. Nor do I have a record, but You’d think I did from they treated me. I just feel like I’m slipping and no one is there to help me. I can’t do it on my own.
Justin Bassler says:
I.. I’m hated by everyone I’m depressed heavily but I’m slowly struttin through it.
Taylor says:
Sending you love and strength justin. It can be such a challenge to love ourselves in this crazy world.
M4thiasGod says:
Hey I’m a kid in high school and I read this conversation and all of this is pretty much my life.mits not that I don’t think I look good. I have a problem with high metabolism and that makes me feel like a freak cause of how skinny I am. All the time people act nuts and crazy and send each other funny pics that teachers say are inoproppriate, and everyone laughes and praises them and whenever I do something Relatively close to that, people just look over at me with questioned looks and whenever I speak out and say what the heck they just say stuff like,” we don’t send stuff like that”, or,” he is better at it stop copying. I Have literally been told to stop trying. I have literally given up on life. I got nothin left to say.
kyleG says:
Im empty. …cant find love. I come from a good family. …it doesn’t matter.
Everyday is exactly the same. .i have no hope..goals..love…
I’ve done this to myself. ..deep self hate I’ve built…fed…
I’d do anything to feel…something..
Can someone tell me something to open my heart….please..
BNG says:
Thank you that really helped. 🙂 😉
I used to hate myself because I thought I was fat or over -weight. All of my friends are well shaped and pretty and I was stuck being chubby.but it doesn’t matter what is in the outside its what’s on the inside that counts.another thing is that I always hand things in late or get to school late every day,or do the project the night before. What should I do??????
selena says:
I have so much to do all the time and feel like I always mess everything up. I sometimes hate myself so much for not being the very best that I wish didnt exist. I feel life is a waist and not worth living, for there is always something that I cant seem to do. I just dont know how to make myself happy anymore. After my dog died who was my best friend and was always there for me I thought that I was going to kill myself. I wish that I dont have to live life anymore and hate myself for thinking like that and being so selfish.
Em says:
I feel the same emotionally I hate myself and appearance and what having kids has done to my body and the body I was born , is there away from medication or surgery any solution to fixing how I feel? Tried gym, tried antidepressants, can’t afford surgery just had a baby so not only feeling worse due to hormonal Changes but feel physically inadequate as a person also physically and mentally, need a miracle cure not fair on everyone else having to deal with me, feel like a awful burden on my children and my partner and feel selfish for feeling like this and stupid as though I’m being a hypochondriac as I know there are those with genuine health issues etc so feel like going for help I’m taking up someone’s else’s time and time they can help those who really need it, but it’s my personal demons I have to deal with and can’t seem to find a way out of it.
Em says:
Reading below its nice to know I’m not alone and many feel like I do, feeling a sense of underachievement, doesn’t help I have high expectations of myself I feel as though I should be where I wanted to be in a career by now, trained and studied hard but unable to get the job I wish to be in due to stupid places only take on those with lots ofcexperience I am fully qualified yet can’t seem to be optimum employment material as I’m a mum who has to share my time being unable to be flexible to work as I wish too, so have to wait, I have debts I need to clear but cannot as what comes in only covers our living expenses, so money being tight is stressful, just need a opportunity to shine x
Greg says:
I lie so much to my wife and make terrible financial decisions. When something bad happens i just curl into an emotional ball and make an even worse decision. My wife doesn’t love me anymore. I can’t live up to my responsibilities, its hopeless. I wish i could just disappear…
Max says:
I hate myself so thoroughly for no reason. People tell me I look great, but all I see in the mirror is disgusting. People tell me I have an amazing personality, but I always feel like a piece of crap. Every time i try to open up about this i feel like the general reaction is “oh you’re just being dramatic” or “you have no reason to feel that way” I am being dramatic, yes, because sitting in silence with this pain for 15 years hasn’t worked and almost drove me insane. I know i have no reason to feel this way, which makes it all the more frustrating. I just feel like, despite being surrounded by people who genuinely care about me and love me, I am alone.
Kieran says:
I hate myself. I’m so ugly, I feel like nobody honestly cares or will care about me, and to be honest, I’m a big old failure. I’m only in 7th grade, so no one really “understand” why I’m feeling this way. I looked up why do I hate myself, so here I am. I think part of the reason I hate myself is because nobody I know feel like it, so I feel like and outcast at school. I my as well just go goth and call it a day. I hate the people at school who think their the best, jocks basically, and richer people. They go along in their lives, Happy as can be, not a single worry in life. They’ll never have to experience a real problem in their lives. I’ve probably just wasted everyone’s time, so, sorry.
Anonymous says:
Dear Kieran,
First I do actually “understand” I’m the same age as you so I actually do. I get it that you feel like an outcast, I’ve been there. But things get better. And btw there are people at my school that act richer and better but my grade recently went on a retreat and I had to share a room with some of those girls and I really got to know them and they are actually really really nice. Trust me, I know these girls are not the same girls/boys you are talking about but maybe try to get to know them and if that doesn’t work out then ignore them and focus on you, not on them how they are much richer,better,skinner,etc. think about you. Just saying please don’t go goth because you will probably look back on it and realize it was not a good choice. If nothing works out then maybe talk to your parents! Believe in yourself and have faith!
Sincerely,
Anonymous
Kieran says:
Sorry for coming back so quickly, i”m sure you’re all “happy” to hear from my hideous self again, but I have a question to ask. Is It normal to feel the way I do? I mean nobody else I know feels likes this. I’m made of fun of at school, I swear my family hates me, and I’m so odd. people at school don’t get me or want to get me. I just wanted to know if it was in any way normal to feel like i don’t fit, like a piece of puzzle that doesn’t fit anywhere. That extra piece that even when you”re finished, it doesn’t go anywhere.
disqus_tkSEsXt5gA says:
My older sister snuck out of the house, and she dragged me along to translate for her (she didn’t speek English), I went along because I wanted to feel accepted by her, so she’d know I was on her side( she had just arrived in America, I had not seen her in 9 years). Later she did something or said something and I got really upset, but later I got over it. On day my little sister and I (whom I also hadn’t seen in 9 years) were at my aunts house and she started telling my aunt what my older sister was doing, so I continued telling her everything, I told her I went too and I know realized that going was abit mistake I hon think that’s where it all began… My aunt told my stepmom,though we had told her not to tell anyone, and my stepmom told my mom that my sister was going down the wrong path. My mom called and told me to tell her everything thing. At first i pretended that I didn’t know what was going on, then I tried to protect my older sister and said everything was fine, eventually she peer pressured me into telling her. My sister got in big big trouble, she thought I did it because I was still mad at her. I just feel like no one understands me. My sister hates me and my little sister is taking her side, even though she technically started it all. My mom asks me to show her my sister’s instagram, snapchat, and facebook and my sister got in trouble for what she was still doing behind her back. My sister thought that I was the one that was snooping around finding things and showing my mom. I tried telling that it was not so, despite my efforts she thought I was lying to her. I know she talks bad about me behind. My back , I’ve heard it, I see the hatred in her eyes when she looks at me. My mom and family think I’m jealous of her, trust me I have no reason to be and I’m not, they think that I think I’m always right, and that I think I’m perfect. I know im far from perfection. The act like I’M the one that hates her, they act like she is the victim. I just want to end it all. To end the hatred and sorrow and Im not even 15 yet. Yet I cried more than enough for a life time.
chelsea says:
i hate myself I’m tired of living i cry myself to sleep every night i want help
chels says:
i see myself listening to music then going to school then listen to more music i try to tune out the world but it alays finds me i feel happy then sad then happy i want laughter a boyfriend and a life.
N says:
I’m a 13 year old and all I can’t stand myself. I feel empty inside, and like I’m worthless, and don’t matter at all. I get made fun of a lot at school because I’m much shorter than others. This past summer I picked up basketball, thinking that it might take my mind off of things, and it did. I felt like I was finally good at something until we had tryouts for our team this weekend. I was the first player to get cut and now I feel worthless all over again.
InstantLoser says:
I hate myself because I have no value. I have zero goals in life, and I’ve spent time thinking about it so it’s not like I’m just not trying hard enough. I don’t care if I ever accomplish anything, because nothing I could possibly do would actually matter anyway. I’m 330lbs, and losing weight is impossible. If it were up to me to help repopulate the species after some great natural disaster, then the human race would die. I’m a coward, and totally incapable of approaching women. I’m almost 35 years old, and the sooner I drop dead of weight/health related issues, the better both I, and the world will be.
Jason says:
I have become what I hate. I am empty beyond measure. What has been my aspiration, has been my depressant. Why do I feel like I am a shell, devoid of anything good, but aspirations for all that is pleasing. There are always options for the disheartened, but who am I?
Blah Blah, why do I actually think that writing this will change me?
Duh, you are a wit-less being who, does not deserve any love and yet craves it a like a weary man water in a desert. You think that all that is needed is for someone to give you love and yet you have not realised that the root of the problem is your perception of life, that all is not going to be alright in the end. You, who believes that you are alone, but has a deeper gut feeling that your problems are not real, you have major problems deciphering the real from the non-existant perception of imaginary things. It is sad to see the state in which I have deteriated into, a being with no control over oneself should be no being at all but a robot with no thinking skills. How can I say this while not physically believing it, and yet knowing it on a scale that could be rated as super-perceptionist. Wow, I say to my self every morning, what a day I have before myself. A day that could be lived to it’s full if I were not I, but a person who’s true colored showed forth and was vibrant in all aspects. I can not do that however, so I have to be contented with living and not condoning, breathing and yet not inhaling, living and yet dieing, spelling and yet not doing so in a correct manner. What value do I carry? How can my meaningless stature in life be put on a scale?
Written by a 17 year old guy.
Maranda says:
I hate my mom she destroyed my life
K says:
Maybe I really am just a bad person though. Tell me this, what did I do to deserve drug abusive parents who tried to kill me, getting stuck with a drunk grandmother and her equally drunk however far more abusive boyfriend. Raising my autistic little brother, and feeling like it’s my fault for how he turned out because I didn’t know how to handle his disorder, and my mentally handicapped sister who won’t speak to me. Why is it that after my mother got off the meth and I left home to try to help her establish a life, and later ended up homeless and barely graduating high school because of my moving around, she lost everything, stole my car, burnt it to the ground, and never speaks to me? What did I do to deserve that? And no matter how hard I work, or how much I push it never seems to be enough. I have been trying my hardest just to get through school, because despite all of the bad things I’ve gone through I’m a really good student and want nothing more than to become a doctor so I can help people, and yet working two jobs wasn’t enough to feed me and pay my rent, no matter how many scholarships I tried for. I dropped out of school this semester, which is the only thing in my life that has ever made me happy, to get a job that I don’t want to have, to live in a trailer. I hate my life. I have literally gone through 20 years of hell and I don’t know if I want to fight anymore. Why should I have to fight so hard to live? The only reasonable answer is somehow I must be lazy, or not doing enough, or not fighting hard enough because whenever I talk to someone they seem to have three million ways I could do something more to help my situation improve but I just don’t have the energy. I hate myself. Maybe sometimes there really are reasons to hate yourself, because the universe seems to think so.
anonymous turtle says:
I have all of these flaws, and I absolutely detest myself for having them. I try to tell myself that everyone has problems or that I should try to be a better person, but tbh it isn’t quite working. I’m an atheist, so I don’t believe praying to God will help… I guess I’ll scrounge around tons of sites and ask my friends for advice.
sexyandiknowit says:
I hate myself my mum is always yelling at me saying that im fat that she is not going to buy me clothes because im so fat and look so bad in jeans , dresses,skirts, shorts.
I was bullied all my life not only because of my weight also because they want to make fun of me. One day I search of how to be anorexic and do it for a week but my mun told you are fat and if you dont eat you are gonna be more fat.
anonymous says:
I take things too seriously. I’m horrible at my job. I want to have fun, be less intense, but I really am content discussing serious, philosophical topics. I always say the wrong thing. I am prone to niavety. I can be gullible. When people call me smart now, I think they’re lying to screw with me.I’m horrible at math, I suck at sports. I live at home, I have no license. I feel like everyone hates me, and my friends only like me to mess with me; I’m just the butt of everyone’s joke. There are certain people who were born unlikable, and I’m one of them. I was bullied and my peers called me slow and mentally retarded. There’s nothing good about me, and no one can possibly genuinely enjoy my company. I don’t think I’ll ever like myself or feel desirable, and I don’t think anyone will ever like me.
kathiana taveras says:
I’m 22 I have a part time job and I am a college student I have everything I need my parents love me my brother is smart intelligent and loving . But I’m still not enough , nothing I do is enough no matter how hard I try to go out.and be around people and be social it doesn’t matter nobody likes me i’m hard to like .. i cant even want to breathe i’m not anti social i have a few good friends from high whom i love very much . But I always asked God (might sound vain and stupid) why he would make me this way I am not smart I’m not creative I’m. Not a leader I’m an ugly fat joke who smokes to much weed and takes sleeping pills I go to school because i’m 22 and I can’t let my parents down they did so much to help me but I have no clue what i’m going to do with my life. In this world u only get limited chances at any success and you must at least have one of 3 important qualities beauty, skinny or smart and I don’t have any of those qualities. some time I feel like i’m here on earth but I’m not really here. I am tired of feeling this way all my life I want just peaceful death in my sleep. I have nothing to look forward to like what am I doing here what’s my purpose ? To be sad and miserable and to have my soul pulverize by this cruel world. I know I sound dramatic but I can’t change how I feel and I hate that I feel what I do . I hate my attitude towards things my temperance. Some humans get it so mucb easier than others.
js says:
I Be Hating Myself Sometimes Cause It Seems Like I’m Failing I Can Never Do Anything Right Something Always Going Wrong . Anyway I Have A Son & Its Always Something To Have My Emotions Going Crazy Then I Break Down & Start Balling Right There In Front Of Him . My Boyfriend Doesn’t Make Nothing Better He Just Adds To The Stress
hnicole says:
I’m 40 and think about suicide every day. I would like someone to chat with. Email or text. I’m very alone, female, I have one child who is a drug addict and has issues.
lonely&afraid87 says:
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for 5 years and it has completely broken me down. My SO tells me that I am the stupidest person he’s ever met and that I’m worthless. We have 2 1/2 year old and 1 1/2 year old babies and since I haven’t lost the weight I’ve gained during my pregnancies he calls me fat and a pig and says he can get girls much prettier than me. I’m constantly scared of how he will react to situations. I have grown to not only hate him but hate myself. At times I feel like a failure as a mother because at times I simply hate life. I wish I could be skinny again and I wish my husband loved me like he used to. I’m so lost and scared.
TheHopeLine says:
Nicole,
It takes courage to reach out for help and we want you to know that you are not alone. You can chat with a HopeCoach 24/7 or sign up for an email mentor. The conversation is free, confidential and non-judgemental. You can keep talking to your mentor as long as you like and there is never a fee. Talking about your struggles, decisions and fears is better than not talking about them. Click on this link to chat or sign up for an email mentor. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Johnny Bravo5713 says:
Hi sfm.I was born in 1988.I agree with you on the thought that life started degrading after 90’s.It’s my personal view and i believe in Bible and it says in Matthew 24:12 that “Because of increase of wickedness”.So basically the peace is lost as days progress.You hear and see acts of violence,hate,obscene acts etc.But we cant change all that.Once Mahatma Gandhi told “The change we wish to see in the world should be in ourselves”.So we cant change the world we only need to change the way we see it by asking God for help.
I passed this phase once about which you say like my life was back then and nostalgia stuff.I was really stuck and depressed and i sought help.One person told me “Nostalgia is a dangerous place.If you keep thinking too much about it you’ll never appreciate the present.ever.So even though the present may be not as beautiful as past but still thank God for the beautiful past and dont think much about it and thank for the present and live the moment’ Then i changed my views and it helped me friend.
“Look back in satisfaction,Look forward in confidence and thank God for the breath we take which he breathed into us”.Wish you a Good life my firend 🙂
Johnny Bravo5713 says:
Hi Danny,After reading your comment i see myself few years ago.I exactly had the same mind set.I wanted to end my life but i was not that courageous and most importantly because it was a sin.So my daily prayer was “Lord please kill me because i cant do it and thank you”.I used to do this and never got anything.Then i started to do some research on this.I found this article on the net and it changed the way i think.I bookmarked it and now feel like sharing it with you.Please read it once.
http://www.revelation.co/2011/07/16/god-please-kill-me-now-i-wish-i-was-never-born-do-you-ever-feel-like-dying/
I’m a believer and so giving my thoughts in that context.The greatest people of the Bible “Moses,Job,Elijah,Jonah” prayed the exact prayer i did.I was really surprised.So we’re not alone brother.They all asked God to kill them because they didnt want to commit suicide.
But God never answered single one of them because God didn’t like that prayer.Then i realized even God wont kill me when i want.He’ll take me when he wants to.So i stopped thinking when God will take me.
When i get difficulties i compare myself with Job.A rich man with beautiful family.Lost everything in one day.All dead,got boils,became like a beggar but still thanked God? Well i get encouraged by that.Even though i have difficulties i’m gonna face them.And about your difficulties you’ll have to bear them because we live in a cursed world my friend,but remember God will help you overcome.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
So brother give up that thought of dying because God wants you to live until he wants you to come home.God bless you and have a good life my dear 🙂
Danny says:
Thanks very much for your response. It was encouraging to me to know that the “greats” all felt the same way… I am in no way a “great” but it is good to know I’m not alone. Thank you again
Trinket Robinson says:
Thank you that was very moving
Jodie says:
whoever wrote this website….thank you.
Just…thank you.
You made me feel loved and worth something, when I am such a bad person.
like there’s hope for me.
Thank you so much.
katt says:
I lost my big brother and now I feel empty and alone he was my best friend we would always go out together I didn’t rrly have my parents growing up but now all they do is bring me down some time I feel like I should be in my brothers place instead of me
Jay says:
People, buy a camera, travel, even if that’s not to the other side of the world, see other places, other people. Don’t stay put !
T says:
i hate myself im 216 im 5’5 & my bra size is a triple d & im only 21years old & i have a 1 year old baby and the father of my child loves me to death he loves me exactly the way i am but if i stand in tje mirror too long i will begin to cry but the hardest part about hating yourself is knowing u have to wake up and pretend like everything is ok i know i can work out all i need is a little motivation wen i stand next to my boyfriend im look huge and standing next to my older sister makes me look like Shreik & my mom is even smaller i got i hate myself my child is beautiful and perfect but sometimes i just want my life to end bc i dont deserve to be her mom she need a ha
happy mother im not worth crap im tired of pretending im happy inside im tired of waking up in the mornings im tired of being fat im tired of everything p.s sorry if this is too depressing but i never pour my heart out like this to anybody
Thatoneguy says:
I am a 23 year old male college student, more than a few people have told me I’m not bad looking, I live in a house close to campus, I have a job at UPS loading trailers, and I get good grades. My problem is I’m a recluse, and I have been for so long I’ve all but forgotten how to connect with other human beings. I’ve been going to UC Riverside for over a year now, and I haven’t had a real conversation with anyone on campus. I spend every night alone, and I don’t talk to my housemates. I can’t make a connection with anyone, because if I do, I’m afraid they will find out I have no friends. I don’t do things that are socially relevant, I don’t watch football or UFC, I can’t go out because I have no one to go out with, I can’t go out alone because then people will assume I’m weird and lonely. New groups of people will sometimes try to accept me, and I want to be accepted, but I’m always too afraid to talk and they eventually give up.
Days and Weeks are starting to blur together, I spend hours staring at my monitor, watching the same Youtube videos over and over or staring at a Facebook page with 0 notifications for hours. I’m a normal looking college student, but I have no idea how to talk to women, how to go clubbing, or how to bar hop. No one has ever invited me, and even if they did, I would turn them down.
myra says:
im ready to go its not my place i have been feeling thing way for 7 years now i cant do it anymore 🙁
Wardie says:
I hate myself, I’m fat and ugly, and useless and worthless
Matthew says:
I’m 38 and I’ve been divorced for about two years now. I’ve neglected responsibilities and by doing so, I feel I’ve painted myself in a corner. It’s really hard to feel good about myself these days, and to feel like I’m a part of the world.
ido says:
have u ever tried avoiding words like “myself”, “I”, “me”? Let’s try it together 😀 we should go dancing, invite someone to dance, and tell a bad joke. Then just laugh =)) cook cookies! concentrating on actions, and taking them (everything is good, when wondering what to do, jump! that should be good enough! and repeat =)) ), could that be something different? if not a solution, at least “this is another way to start the day”
dodo says:
I live on my own after 3 failed relationships but I love it no worries no stress do what I want. I dont mix with people anymore.I had a breakdown trying to fit in be sociable but I know now I haven’t got what it takes.I did suffer years of abuse off my father on a daily basis the words still resonate through my brain words like look at him my father would say my mother whats wrong now dai reply he’s breathing look at him with his mouth open this probably did have an effect on me but like I said I love being on my own and if people want to live like hermits perhaps wallowing in self pitty , leave them to it .I have seen people in awkward social situations trying to fit in and it is so stressful some take their own lives. Anyway I love being on my own , I hate the human race even as a child I used to day dream of waking up and everyone just vanished I still haven’t changed after 54 years on this planet. Wanting to be left alone doesn’t make you a freak it makes you strong for choosing to live like it. Decades ago it might of been essential to be social just to survive but today its ok. So all you hermits or anti-social people enjoy enjoy the peace and quiet. Some folks out there dream of this life because it isnt have bad. I think putting pressure on someone that hasn’t the social skills can do irreparable damage to one wellbeing.
I enjoy meditation and yoga which has woken me up to the fact just being me is ok and living in the past is a waste of time and energy.
Bob says:
This isn’t helpful and I don’t believe in God. I hate myself for the way I treat others. I don’t hate myself for vane reasons. I don’t think before I talk or act I am a jerk and no matter how hard I try I hurt others around me. I have a good heart Im just that jerk who says things that makes people hate them, even though I was just trying to friendly or funny. People say it’s okay to make mistakes but I don’t seem to be learning my lesson.
I’m tired of hurting people. I can’t take it anymore, I’m lazy and unmotivated 95% of the time. I don’t know what else to do except give up be selfish and only hurt people this one last time. It will be better for everyone in the long run.
myra says:
i hate my life my mom found out about my cuts DX my dads no help
Olivia says:
I can totally relate to this. People see me as a happy person, but if they knew how I actually felt, they’d be shocked. Sometimes, I feel on top of the world, but other times, I have really low self-esteem and it stinks so much. I feel worthless, ugly, fat and unwanted. I really care about what other people think of me…I usually worry about other people’s opinion of me a lot. I can never find a single thing about me to like and it makes me feel really depressed. I only ever notice my flaws. I literally can’t pick out a single good thing about me, especially on my appearance, and that’s why I often wish I was someone else…
Kristin says:
I hate myself. I hate my name and my voice. The way i look. I hate to look in the mirror. Im fat and im ugly and i sometimes think how can my boyfriend love me how cane he like “this” (me) i just hare everything about me.
maggie says:
I am constantly feeling worthless ,I have a husband and son but I feel like im the worst mother and wife .I have no job and suffer from depression and panic attacks and at times I feel like I don’t fit in and recently feel I don’t want to be in this world anymore. My dad has always told me how worthless I am and how I will never do anything worthwhile that im a waste of space and the fact that I didnt do well at school and have no job makes me think he’s right.He has always said the same to my brothers too and always praised everyones children but never his own. It is probably why I don’t like to fail at anything and feel low when I do. I don’t have any friends to talk to and feel more helpless and alone than ever before ..
TheHopeLine says:
Maggie, We want you to know that you are worthy and you matter! I know it’s hard and having a father that didn’t show you unconditional love growing up can make being an adult even harder. Talking about it and seeking a doctor’s help for your depression is so important. Please, please never give up and keep trying. Please chat with a HopeCoach that cares anytime 24/7 at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. If you want download our free app to your phone to chat download it here. http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp You would really love having an email mentor that you could continue talking about this long term. You can sign up for one with our app or at our Get Help page.
TheHopeLine says:
Kristin, We want you to know you are loved and that you are beautiful, smart and worthy! We are here for you 24/7 please call a HopeCoach at 800.394.4673 or chat with a HopeCoach at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. If you want download our free app to your phone to chat, call, email and get encouraged here is the link to download it. http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp
Lana says:
I just feel so lonely and empty like nobody understands me.My life is so worthless,but I won’t commit suicide only bc of my family..But it’s hard.It gets harder everyday,u know crying myself to sleep.I just wish I never existed..
Gill says:
When my boyfriend has had a drink he always says horrible things to me. He never says these things when he is sober and we have been together for 8 years now I really feel like I am a useless girlfriend and a bad mother. My son has behavioural issues that he is currently undergoing testing for. I know my boyfriend doesn’t mean the things he says but after 8 years it’s beginnig to stick is it my fault my son is struggling ? How can I be a better mum and girlfriend. I am at a point now I do feel that whatever goes wrong is my fault and that I am a bad person is it karma have I been really bad in another life and now this is pay back. I am not after sympathy just some advice please.
fille says:
i really hate myself . i feel i’m a good for nothin . i’m not able to shine in things I do , coz i feel i’m not very smart . I always wanted to b popular . I m fed up of being mediocre . what I really want is respect frm ppl around me
Marlin Ford says:
I hate myself for a couple reasons
1. I am greedy
2.i lie
3.i don’t care about school
4.my family is so nice to me and all I do is cause them pain and trouble
5. I push my work on others
Raven Wind says:
I just feel like I have so many expectations that I get frustrated and say things that I never mean. And then I begin to hate myself and then think about hurting myself. I guess i just keep feeling that my rage is distributed to anything and everything. Sometimes I feel, “Well how can God love me?” after all that I’ve said and done. But I love Him nonetheless, so I hope that He can forgive the things I’ve said about others, myself, and doubting Him and His genius and what He thinks is best for me. Lately, I’ve been really stressed out about the Bible, which I know you should never be, but I keep thinking that I can’t live up to the expectations. People say women can’t wear pants, I love wearing pants, so using that as an example, I feel torn between what i right and what is wrong. If anyone could give some advice on that, I’d love it, because I wouldn’t want to take anything out on God.
Depressed says:
I need to get something off my chest. Even if its towards total strangers. I cant bring myself to tell the people that i actually know. So im a 15 year old girl in grade 10. For as long as i can remember, ive always felt…worthless and alone. I have lots of friends and family, but i still feel alone. Like something is possibly missing. I always feel like im trapped inside some sort of glass bowl. I can see everyone around me, happy and cheerful. However i cant feel them. There is something seperating us. I know it.
Im different then everyone else. I dont know how but i am. I get days when everything is alright. But some days are not as good. I dont laugh, i dont smile, i feel like i hate everyone, and like I hate myself. I dont eat. Sometimes this lasts for days, weeks even. People notice sometimes. They ask whats wrong. The answer is always the same; “nothing.” Im sick of saying nothing when it really isn’t. Its everything. Im confused and alone. I’ve lately been not enjoying the activities i used to love. Why do i feel this way? I dont know. What’s wrong with me?
Sometimes i feel like hurting myself. I use a razor to cut my arms sometimes. Not too deep though. When people ask about the cuts i say that i “got clawed in a basketball game.” They always shrug it off. I dont know why i do this. I have a nice family…so why? I guess i like the pain. It makes me forget about things. Like school, and homework and drama with friends. Just recently ive started wondering what it would be like to kill myself. Would people notice i wasnt there? Would they miss me? Maybe i should try it..but i dont. I think of my little brother and sister. What would happen if i killed myself? They would be alone. What about my parents? They’d be devestated. I didn’t try to kill myself because i need to be there for those that love me, no matter how much pain it puts me through.
I have no idea what to do. I dont know whats wrong with me. Is this feeling normal? When will it go away? Im sick of being depressed all the time. Why cant i be happy?
Ashley says:
I just suck at my life. I don’t know why I hate myself, but I abuse myself for every little thing. I just feel alone even though I have friends. I just screw up everywhere I turn, and it somehow feels good to get even with myself. i don’t deserve anything, not even myself when everywhere I turn I disappoint someone or screw up. That’s I guess why i cant stand myself is because i’m disgusted with myself for basically being alive. i need help.
Tais says:
Everyone at my school and home hate me because they think I did something really bad which I didn’t and I tried telling them the truth but they don’t believe me even my family and my best friends don’t believe me. I just don’t what to do anymore, before this happened I was so into life, I loved and I was always laughing and loved myself, but now everything is so different and by hating me they made me hate myself too. I’m only 12 years olds and I wish everything could go back to normal but since it can’t I thing I should just quit living my life, I’m not worth it anyway.
Laura 123 says:
I feel very sad I get angry all the time over silly things. I used to be outgoing and have a good social life. Lately I just want to hide from everyone and just be alone. It’s an effort for me to go to work when I there I pretend everything is ok. I feel like everyone hates me and I’m a disgusting person. I have deleted all my social media as I don’t want to be in contact with anyone. I know my family are worried about me but I just feel too embarrassed to go the doctors. I have been on setraline tablets before as soon as I felt better I stopped taking the medication. I was also referred for counselling but did not go. I don’t know what to do anymore I feel hopeless and that there is no way out. I don’t want to moan to anyone I know because. Don’t want to drag them down. I just want to disappear forever.
Rems says:
I hate myself, I hate my weight, I hate my skin complexion. I don’t know what to do to make myself happy at all. Even If I have one ounce of joy I give it all to my son. But I don’t know how to be happy at all with myself.
The One With No Hope says:
I am alone in the world, I am the only half-Asian in my school. Deep down, I am like everyone else. I’ve always been the only one, always the one at the end of the line, always the only one no girl lied, always the only one working alone in the class. I hate myself because I am judged everyday of my life because of the color of my skin. At least with every other race, they can face the persecution together, while I must always be alone.
Deepak Kumar Mahanta says:
I am very very angry at myself. Because I am doing a job which I hate. I wanted to become someone else with a good job at a higher post, but for now stuck in this small job. Most of the office staffs are forcing me to do their work, including in holidays. So, I am unable to do any study for achieving my other dreams. That’s why I hate myself and my parents, because my parents were also persuaded me to accept the job. The job is a small State Govt. job, with too much work, due to fewer staffs. All other staffs are around 10-20 years or more elder than me. At times, when I am alone, I am getting extremely angry & sad at the same time. I want to leave it ASAP, but I would be jobless, if I leave it, which I don’t want. At the same time, if I don’t leave the job, I may get stuck in this for the whole life, which I don’t want to. Sometimes alone at work, I am attacking PC monitors, files, registers, etc. due to the anger.
Lolly says:
I have spent my life trying to do things correctly and trying to do the right thing. Well not anymore. Everything I do is wrong. And i am completely content with this. I am a happy person because I have given up trying to do things right, and trying to be something I am not. Yes I am a screw up, yes I don’t have a decent job, yes I am ugly, and stupid. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to me that every other soul on this planet is better than me or prettier than me or smarter than me. Because I am me, and I have as much right to live as everyone else. And as much right to be here. And I put in 100% effort in everything I do. It’s never good enough for anyone else but it’s good enough for me. And I will continue through life being hopeless at everything, having people stare at me for being ugly, and having people judge me for being stupid. But that’s their problem. I hear comments from other people, people who judge me. But are they perfect themselves?? Is there such a thing as perfection? Does perfection even exist? I could be called every name under the sun, but it won’t get me down. My smile remains put. I use to try and think ‘I am pretty’….I used to repeat this to myself over and over again. But the fact of the matter is I am not. But it doesn’t matter because I am me. I am who I am and I always will be and I won’t change and nobody will ever change me. I am completely honest with myself about myself.
China says:
Ive been feeling lost and confused like its no one in my corner… everybody says its going to be okay but they don’t understand the thoughts in my head or what im going through i cant keep a conversation like others so i beat my self up. Im losing relationships i feel stupid dumb & miserable i just wanna be normal
Gabby says:
People always tell me how “it gets better,” I believe them, because sometimes it does, but I always go back to feeling the same way. I look back, and I remember time after time, feeling this way. They say that God put everyone here for a reason, but where does it say that in the Bible? I have no talent, I’m not beautiful, I haven’t brought a single person to Christ, I honestly don’t think that I have a purpose. How can I find one, or do I just wait until I’m older? I also remember having such a different personality, it was a great one and I feel like it was the real me, I don’t know how to get it back though.
S says:
I have worked hard all my life, albeit with more than my fair share of mistakes, but I am finally in a spot in my life in which I feel I deserve…but I still hate myself for every little thing that I fail at. I just got a new job and completely changed pretty much everything, a new start with my dreams of what could be finally coming to fruition. But I still feel the same as I did, undeserving. Every mistake I make I feel ashamed for, and that everyone is judging me, looking at me and coming up with the conclusion that I am just some stupid person who should not have gotten that job. I still feel like nobody would want to have a relationship with me because of the shortcomings. I know that this is completely unreasonable, but I can’t help it. Just recently, I made a stupid mistake at work, and even tried to clear the slate by “copping to it” and apologizing , but I still want to crawl into a hole and die, wishing that I never had to return.
I do not believe in “God” nor any other religions, so how do you fix it?
Eowyn says:
I simply feel awful. All day I criticise myself, I try not to listen, I try to hear the criticism in a silly voice or counter it with a positive comment but I hate myself. From the way I look, to the way I talk, the things I say and the way I behave. I hate that I’m writing this.
Martin says:
I feel I’m at the worst I have ever been in my life. im not typically the talking type, im very shy have very few friends I’m going to school and I work graveyards my debt from school skyrocketed and I can’t do anything about it and im barely getting hours at work to just pay off one school bill while all my other bills pile up or else they will kick me out of school , to top it off I just broke up with my girlfriend who I think just used me as a rebound to make herself feel better while making me catch feelings then dumped me, sometimes I just stay in my room because I feel like I’m on empty and can’t go on anymore with everything piling up on me, I workout constantly because i feel like it helps with my stress but as soon as I leave the gym everything just crawls back into my mind gnawing at me with finances, my ex and my crappy life , I’m only 22 but I feel like if I was different or smarter I wouldn’t be in this mess I created for myself.
Theresa says:
After reading some of these blogs. I’ve come to the conclusion I will never be happy. So why bother going on with life. I hate myself other people hate me I’m lonely and I have no one so I’ve decided to do the right thing for once in my life . My children deserve better than someone like me
bens says:
hate myself for no reason at all, i have a young daughter and my whole life ahead of me but i just can’t understand any of that,all i want to do is stay still and live the moment for me, i know it’s selfish but deep down i know thats what i want. i’m sure i’m not the only person to think their life is passing them by but i just want to stop and look around for a while.
Rachel says:
I used to have so many friends back then. Because,I don’t know…I was carefree,I didn’t care about my studies,I seldom go to school, I hang out with my friends and do stuffs with them. They thought I was a really fun person to be with until I attended summer classes because of my actions. And then I thought of changing me,when I turned fifteen I made huge changes about my study habits,I study a lot that I tend to avoid hanging out with my friends because I was super busy passing all the requirements and stuffs that we need to pass. I’ve been receiving achievements and at the same time I’ve been losing a lot of people or “friends” I don’t know…They say that I’m not the same person that they use to hang out with. I don’t have anyone to talk to,iam so alone right now! my friends hate me. They don’t talk to me. I don’t have anybody. I don’t know if I have to hate what I turned myself into or just be happy because I know that I’m doing the right thing. I just keep on telling myself that losing people around you is part of growing up. They hate me now,I don’t know if I could survive highschool without people around me it’s just depressing to go to school everyday and just sit in the corner the whole day. I don’t know. 🙁
Just a random guy says:
I know the feeling. I fled to Japan to find love and left the few friends I had back in Sweden. Now I’m mostly alone because people either dislike me or don’t care. I haven’t bonded with anyone. I know the pain very well. People have fun around you and gets invited to stuff but not you. I would say keep fighting but I don’t know myself anymore. Didn’t find love either. The girls I meet send hearts and stuff until they get to know me a little and see my personality then everything changes. They stop sending hearts or putting emotion or effort into their messages and shortly after stop completely. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. And I know I can’t return to sweden. I just feel it. It would destroy me
Zohreh says:
Hi everyone
I just found this website,article and the comments by chance when I was looking for a way to get rid of this awful feeling. I got shocked when I read the comments and realized that I share this feeling with many people around the world and I’m not alone with this feeling. This is demanding that you wake up everyday and think about yourself as a guilty and useless person who hasn’t any important achievement in her life. Especially when I think that I am close to 40 and haven’t married despite many marriage proposals that I had just because of a meaningless love relationship which ended few years ago.
Dylan says:
every day i cant seem to be happy there is nothing that is good around me i have a nice house parents together a job and school i’m not a normal kid though i have diabetes but type one not two so i cant get rid of it and i get ranted to by my parents who don’t support everything i do i cant seem to find a career path no matter how hard i try i cant find love anywhere, although i like girls bu they don’t know i exist i’m un fit the only thing i am good at is games but what good is that going to do i’m also good at making others laugh at jokes and my upbeat personality, i almost never get complements i feel i look fine but that wont help me none all i can think about is how i’m going no were and i cant stop crying about it i don’t want to cry but i cant stop it and its killing me slowly i cant find help for this i just keep digging deeper into a pit someone help me….
Princess Leah says:
Where do I begin? I’ve hated myself since I was a child, probably because everyone in my life – except my immediate family – hated me and said negative things about me. So that’s what I internalized. I think I’m fat and ugly. My boyfriend adores me and treats me like a queen, although, truth be told, I suspect he stays with me for convenience (I have a high paying job.) Speaking of high paying jobs, that’s the only thing in life in good at. I don’t cook because my parents sent me to my room to study whenever they caught me loitering in the kitchen as a teen. So I never developed an interest in cooking. I’m a slow reader, which makes me feel defective. I’m a 35 year old woman with no children, which makes me feel my life is worthless. I work over 12 hours a day, sometimes two weeks in a row, which is exhausting but is a side effect of my profession. I think about suicide so often that I’ve researched methods like they’re going out of style. I’m just too chicken to kill myself. My boyfriend and several friends have told me how devastated they’d be if I was gone, but I’m convinced they’ll get over it. I’m just tired of feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and like I’ve failed in every area of my life except my career. I’m a useless human and don’t know why I’m here. I believe in God, but I’m sure He stopped listening to me long ago…
lisahill82 says:
I feel like everything I do in life is wrong I fail at everything iv never had a proper friend to turn to they all leave
ME I’ve never had a bf I just don’t like myself at all everything about me the way I look who I am nothing I do changes it I feel really down I need some advice and help on how to change this because I feel myself getting lower and lower
Lisa says:
Wow, we have the same name hun!!! I really can relate to you except for the boyfriend part. I’ve had some but they never lasted and always choose the other girl. I think we should become friends and get to know each other. Not just because of the name similarity..lol.
jellybeankittens says:
I hate myself to an unbelievable extent. Although I don’t really understand why, I have no true “reason” to. I’m only in highschool yet I’ve packed in a life time of self loathing. It’s not because I’m lonely, or I feel ugly. I’m more than ok with my appearance and people, even complete strangers, are constantly saying I’m pretty. So that’s clearly not the issue, because I like the way I look. I also have an insane amount of friends who all say they truly care about me, and think I’m absolutely amazing. I’m not trying to sound arrogant, but I’m just saying the honest truth. Most everyone knows who I am, and I only know one person who’s mean to me. He’s friends with one of my best friends but no one like him because he is a bully. He says I’m annoying and ugly but I honestly couldn’t care any less, even if I tried. I just absolutely hate myself and who I am. I feel like everyone around me secretly hates me and that I’m a total unwanted loser who would be better off six feet under ground. And I don’t know why, I’m not depressed. I like my life and I’m very optimistic and happy most of the time. But when it comes to myself that all goes bad. I just think I’m unlovable and that I’m going to die alone because no one truly even remotely likes me.
no one says:
I hate myself,i hate my body,i hate how stupid i am,i hate how i work hard and get no where i hate how my friends dont invite me out or do things with out me,i hate myself,i hate myself,i hate myself.
Thomas Wilkinson says:
Thomas wilkinson age 13
I am never a girls first, im always second or a reject, i dont ever remember being the top of any form of looks/player ranking between people. A lot of girls talk to me but they never appriciate who i am, i try countlessly to be noticed sometimes to much i change my mood from happy to moody to try and fit in i try be myself, i dont know what depression feels like but if i had a guess it would be what i feel like.
I talk to girls only a lot because they dont judge me, i talk to uglier girls because they dont judge me and they go through what i go through. I met this girl lets call her “lucy” we met at scouting which is were i used to go it was a summer camp she was a year older than me, we spent ages talking and i was really in my element i was cracking jokes i was super confident and seemed reasuringly alluring to her, shed talk to me enough and i felt so appriciated, i got her details; snapchat, phone number ect, so i started messaging her, she took ages to reply and i just couldnt think why, i thought am i not funny enough anymore, why cant you just let us have something. Just let it go my way, the replies took longer and longer so i asked her friend about what too do and her friend told her everything i said, she brought it up and it went out of hand and i made loads of lies i know she didnt believe, she ignored me for 2 days and then i belive i asked her” why do you not like me, you spend ages go reply and rarely sound like you care, i love you and i dont know whu uou hate me”. She replied i dont, and then ure “too needy” she then stopped talking to me and blocked me and i cried i hit walls i hit myself so hard i left purple bruses, i hated myself so much for my mistakes, it has been 3 months i think about what i did every night, im more happy now cuz i have been starting to get over it, i talk to this girl on the internet and for once she was trying she is 15 and i am 13 but we have really good conversations whilst we play games and she started talking to some over people, i became really jealous and stopped talking to her for a day, she now speaks the me even less like she dosnt care, this hasnt been as bad but we had a nice connection. She laughed and thats over too, i reflect on everything sometimes cry, sometimes hit walls scream into my pillow and something stare out my window for ages 1-3 hours at most. No one at school respects me at all my friends are jerks to me if i talk to girls online and when i talk to girls in real life i fail and im sometimes ignored, i asked a girl out she said no, and i tried so hard befor that shed laugh, and then my friend got her i no longer like her but i just felt really bad. I have spots, my voice is broken and i try and act happy at shcool so no one realises i hate myself, i used to blame it on other people now i blame myself, why am i friends with these people, why do i have to be so unlucky and ugly ect. i even once thought why cant i be a girl they r always the ones rejecting and there so emotional and caring why cant i just have that, but i wasnt looking for a sex or anything like that. I am starting to feel better but i need to know if anyone can tell me anything to relieve me of being upset. ;(
David says:
Me I’m 34 have never had any real friends I’m married with two kids my son has autism it’s been hard we just moved from ohio to phoenix with no help from anyone I’ve always been mad at everything because I feel like no matter how hard I try people don’t like me now my marriage is falling apart I’m thinking of ending it but the only thing that is stoping me is the thought of going to hell I don’t drink or do drugs I just need help God has always been there I just don’t know how much more I can take
dean says:
My name is Dean, i am 32 years old and hate everything about myself, it’s not a drinking thing i just not happy and it’s effecting all aspects of my life. I do know how to change, i’m a good person with a good family but i can’t shake the feeling that i want to die, i the world would be a better place without me in it the worst part of it is when i think about death it comforts me. I can’t connect with people properly, i have always be shy which has not helped, i am a good person and my friends and family tell me so and that makes me feel even worst. I don’t know if i deal with these feeling anymore, it’s rotting me from the inside out i’m beginning to feel hate for everything and everyone around me, i hide behind a veil of false polite words but it’s not helping me, it’s all bull.
jarbarli says:
i dont know. ive read these and still feel the same. my life is a little different then these. im 21 years old and ever since i was 9 i have been the man of my house. cooking cleaning help raise my sister and more. eveything a dad does i have done. except been able to support my family financially. i cant because we are dirt poor and the gov helps well basically pays all on our rent and some on bills. but even if i were to get a job that still wouldnt be enough and the gov would stop help paying… my mom tells me to go to school. while im have been stuck in the same place for the last 8 years off my life. i have no future to look forward to i have no life beyond being stuck inside off my home where, i want to kill myself most of the day. my girlfreinds keeps threatining to break up with me if i dont find a job but what am i suppose to do when in one ear my mother tells me to go to school dont work( the school gas yet to give me finicial aid… its been orver3 months since i applied) and in the other ear having my girlfriend tell me im not crap, and she will leave if i dont grow up. i feel so stuck in life. what is thee for me in life because i see no future and right now just want to end eveything. i can never tell anyone this stuff becvause all they do is judge and tell me the same shit. when they do not have my life. they havent seen or heard what i have. i mean yes everyone has stress and problems i know but this has just been eatin gme away for years now and i dont know what to do
cantbherenomore says:
Wow I can’t believed I’ve found people like me. I’ve been unhappy for sometime, I’ve messed up my marriage. And can’t forgive my self, I use to be a happy person and now they say its like I have a black cloud around me everytime I come around. So I stay to my self. Its been 9 years since I haven’t been with my ex. And I can’t seem to let him go. I sometimes wish I could erase that part of my lie so I didn’t have to feel this pain any more. Because its effect my life. I can’t seem to let go of him. Andi stay stuck in the ugly past with no hope. Karma is real people.
Vaibhav Pandya says:
I hate myself because I’m am search a job last two year i didn’t get success I feel like I am worthless like I cant do anything.
who cares says:
I spent my childhood in the country side of Montana, I used to be able to entertain myself as a child weather it be running around the fields in Amsterdam and chirch hill or playing with bugs. but then we moved to willow creek. I didn’t know what to expect from other people. I had ADHD and ADD. I had a principle (garth Brooks) whom hated me. I got blamed for everything , called to the office everyday . so then I went to Three Forks school. my first day there no one liked me , although I said nothing or did anything, I was constently called a retard by my classmates. even my teacher (mrs malmquest ) hated me . everytime I would get caught asking for help she would grab me by the ear, pull me to the hallway, then pushed me to the floor and yell at me. I told the principle about what was going on and he did nothing he just laughed because he thought it was funny. I feel that im ugly, untalented , not good enough for anyone. I suffered events like that my whole life. I started smoking pot in the 4th grade and managed to bring myself out of the darkness. but slowly and surely I was there again. but worse , I tried suppressing my feelings idk why im even typing this because I know no one cares , no one probably will read this , every girl I let into my life has cheated on me with my friends and my relasionships usualy last 2 years …. however this is too hard to handle right now . I cant go on like this… I pray Jesus will forgive me .
Taylor says:
I think I have some pretty good reasons to be miserable. Hating myself is the only reason I still feel like waking up in the morning, I like feeling the pain and anxiety I get from my intense, negative thoughts. I can go from point A to point B in a second, it’s amazing actually. I’m a convicted felon at 20, and I’ve pretty much blown my chance to have a good life, instead I chose to drink and drug, while I’ve been sober for awhile, I’m ready to go back to it. I can’t get a REAL job anywhere, I’m homeless, my family doesn’t give a crap about me, and the freakin’ list goes on. Suicide seems so tasty, but I’ll never act on it. I’ve tried church and believing in God, but I find myself in the same position as before. There’s nothing that can make me happy, not even from myself. The only thing I can do is broadcast the fact that my life is crap and that it’s not worth living, but unfortunately, ending it is not so simple. I HATE MYSELF AND I HATE LIFE.
Lisa says:
I’ve attempted suicide so many times and failed. I feel like everyone hates me even though I know that’s not true. I have never had a real boyfriend around longer than a month and they always choose someone else over me. I feel fat and ugly. My mom only pretends to care about me in order to get money off of me for rent. My friends that I do have only take to me when they want to not when I really really need them. I try to talk to them out of the blue and ask how they are doing and stuff and I get no response back. I feel like I’m just wasting away. I don’t know why I’m alive because no one wants to be around me. I just want someone that actually cares. I need someone to talk to on a daily basis that will listen to me and tell me everything’s going to be o.k. I used to have a friend like that but I turned her friendship away because she was becoming dramatic and bad mouthing her husband. I just don’t know anymore. Is it me? Is there something wrong with me? I feel like I’m going crazy and need some mental help or something. It’s not fair I didn’t ask to go through all of this stuff. When I was little my stepgrandpa used to grope me around my breasts and my private area (he didn’t rape me technically) so I couldn’t tell anyone cause he wouldn’t have gotten away with it. I was only 12 years old. I’ve been bullied since high school about my weight and I just feel like crap. I tried to kill myself last night and wonder why I’m still alive? What keeps me here? I’m nothing.
Fairytails says:
I should be a regular, happy teenager but I’m not. I’m not sure where the line began to blur when I began to hate myself and my life. I’ve always been different and most likely deemed “weird” by my peers. I have friends but they are strange too, just not as strange as me. My self hate on my being and lifestyle has gotten so bad that I can’t even attempt to go to school because of my major depression and that has had a detrimental effect on my grade. I’m not a idiotic individual either, I’m an honors student so I always have to work, work, work, and work. There’s a point though when working becomes so much of a burden that the thought of working makes you want to curl up in a ball and die. I’ve reached that point. That point of self-loathing, hatred for everything around me and my life. I hate living, I hate being alive. There are so many areas in my life that are lacking. My social life outside of school and the fact that I have literally nothing to look forward to. I feel like I’m just another one of those tools in which the government uses to fuel our ever growing society. I have hobbies that I’m good at but I can never go anywhere outside of this house or this life. I feel trapped. I hate myself for being weak, strange, and a burden…. But I don’t have the strength to change. I wish I could so badly and that one day I can look back and say, “That’s not me anymore” with a smile. But for now I’m stuck in these unchanging days chained to this way of thinking. I’ve always been like this…. It just gets worse and worse every year and I can’t change a thing. I can’t.
name says:
still hate me
keving10 says:
I feel so empty so lonely inside.
I gave up everything for this woman to later find out she keeps pix and messages o his ex because for her he was perfect and then I asked myself why she got with me and I ask her to and she says because she loves me but I trusted her in anything and she messed up .. after 7 months together she’s pregnant but I love her and my beautiful child which I don’t blame because it’s my responsibility but we’ve fought and argued and she gets really crazy one time she ended up in a mental hospital.
She’s very very stubborn and possessive and controlling .
As much as I try to revive the relationship she says yes but it just feels different now. Theres no I love you anymore only once in a while once a week … I feel so empty and embarrassed after many times she messed up I kept being with her because I love her but every I love you sounds empty.
How do I deal with these things ?
Lonely, disappointed, rejected like I fail to make a good relationship which she messed up .
Help me please. Should I keep trying ? Leave her ? .. (not my baby)
I pray every day to the Lord but I feel somethings missing .
Like he hat answer or the situation isn’t getting any better.
Some one help me
Leanne says:
It will get better. I know it will. Just stay strong!!
Sarah says:
I’m 17 and dead inside, I hate myself so much, it’s all I feel. I hate myself far more than I could ever love anything.
Viralvector says:
I lost motivation to do anything. Right now, my children and wife are the only people to keep me alive.
I am really lost and stuck.
INCOGNTION says:
I feel as if everything is my fault, my family so rarely gets along. Not that we hate each other I love my family in a “thanks for not abandoning me sort of way” I can’t complain I was clothed, well fed, had a roof over my head. I try my hardest to be the daughter they always wanted but no matter what I do nothing ever pleases them, I go out of my way to do extra chores, since my brother is lazy and both of my parents work full time, and instead of a thank you or any sort of recognition they just mention what I didn’t do. “well what about the cobwebs” “Is all the laundry done” I typically go ahead and fix what they point out to me with no complaint. I usually get mad at myself for not seeing and fixing the problem before they say something. My mother went into depression after my birth and she always sent me off to my grandmas house when she couldn’t deal with me. Most of my childhood memories are with my grandma I never got to bond with my mom and dad the way most infants do, I had to walk on egg shells around her as a toddler I had to learn to watch what I say. I never knew what would set her off in to one of her fits which usually involved taking her anger out on me. Mostly verbal but sometimes it got physical nothing extreme like bruising or anything but I’d have plenty of hand print outlines all over my arms, legs, and face. I never really had friends because I was always in trouble for something. Then my brother came along when I was 6, by this time mom had finally got some medications for her depression so she actually took care of my brother, he was an angel he never did anything wrong and so on. No matter what happened it somehow traced back to being me. I never got that bond with my mom like my brother did I still to this day hold resentment towards my brother. I was mostly mad at the fact he never seemed to get mad at him. (sorry I am boring you with my life story) my parents never listen to me. Even to this day I can’t argue with my father. He won’t let you get a word in edge wise, he is so close minded and conservative he won’t change his opinion. I hate the way my parents treat me even now that I am 20 they still pull the “cause I said so card” I had to went to college once, fresh out of high school, and I found it boring. It was high school all over again only with a $20,000 a year tuition because I though that a small private college would be best for me. Of course I received scholarships which eased the financial burden but I couldn’t see myself spending another 3 1/2 years doing the same thing I did in high school only to go through a masters course after graduating said college. Which was more money. So I dropped out of college and I was belittled by my family and felt their disappointment which made me feel bad about myself I got into this weird mood where I, no matter how hard I tried, couldn’t fall asleep for hours and when I did fall asleep it was after midnight so I’d sleep in during the day. My dad didn’t like this and told me “all you ever do is bum around” they not so nicely told me to find a job or move out. Accusing me of being a free loader, even though I did their dishes, did the laundry, kept the house picked up, and ran errands for them. This made me feel worse and it was to the point I wouldn’t leave my bed unless to relieve my bladder or to eat. I didn’t even want to eat, I was miserable and felt like complete human waste, I often think of how much better off they would be with out me and wish I were just dead, I am not suicidal I just entertain the thought of death. If I were gone my gran would be sad and I would never do that to her. and my dog too, I couldn’t leave her. So now my back story is out there, here is where my problem comes in. I have been working two jobs for the last year and a half, working my butt off in a fast food establishment and a deli for minimum wage and I work crazy hours most days I open at white castle and work till 2 or 3 pm (which is in the next town over a half hour drive) and then drive back to my home town to work the deli usually from 4 or 5 pm till closing. It is tiring but it pays my bills. I have been thinking about going back to school recently, the more I think about it the more possible it seems. But I don’t want to go back to college, I was thinking about jobs where I can work with animals with out much college and stumbled upon the possibility of going to a tech school, which is only necessary classes. Probably for park ranger or vet tech. But my family doesn’t support me mom said you are still paying off your last mistake why would you go back. and how will you pay for it? dont expect me to co-sign another loan for you. she keeps doubting me. she even laughed the first time I pitched the idea of me going back to school to her. I don’t know what I ever did wrong in her eyes I just cant seem to gain her support so instead of going back to school I find myself just going to work, coming home, sleeping, and doing it all over again the next day. It is mentally tiring and i get too annoyed with people. Nothing is more annoying than dealing with the general public at two different jobs a day. I feel so distant and like I go on auto-pilot all day. My two only friends have opposite schedules of me so I am like always working when their free and vice versa. I just hate my jobs but can’t bring my self to do anything about it. I hate the way I feel, so empty and afraid. I am afraid I am going to get stuck working this way the rest of my life. one day I am motivated and the next auto-pilot. It is painful if that makes sense. I just feel stuck. I feel passion and motivation to better myself but I lack the energy or ambition to do anything about it. I hate myself and question myself everyday as to why am I still here. What point is there to life? It is a vicious cycle and I am stuck in it. I will always be stuck. I don’t know it is just a weird feeling and I am getting increasingly restless or anxious or something. some days i feel nervous but others i feel detached. I just feel I have no control over my emotions I try my hardest to act as if I dont care but I care too much. It’s annoying how much I am concerned for my families well being even with the way I was/am treated. I just hate myself for being such disappointment to my parents, I know they love me as I do them but everything is always so tense at my house and I feel I am the cause of it. I am the reason my family is so miserable. So many times I planned elaborate escapes and packed a small bag ready to leave and free my family of my presence. Now I am rambling. I know everybody feels self hate and I am no exception. I just feel better getting all my feeling out in the open even if it’s to random strangers. for so long I blamed it on teenage angst but i am a working adult and if anything I feel worse (and by angst I mean “oh my parents don’t get me” “my life is so lame” not dye my hair and get tons of piercings, or rely on illegal substances, my parents as detached towards me as they are still raised a smart girl who doesn’t think smoking is “cool”.) I find alcohol okay in reasonable amounts on occasion. heck most other countries dont even fret over alcohol. it is safe if consumed in a safe manner. smoking and drugs are still bad though. I dont know. Am I just dealing with left over teen angst or what? I dont even know my own feelings so how am I to expect someone to know what I am feeling. I just mostly wanted to vent reasons as to why I am a fail.
hina says:
My friend has some feelings that she nver share Bt ya she told me that she feels so empty from inside,so confused about anything n she scares alot whether if she gonna loose it..I just wanna help her she is a kind person from heart Bt she don’t like herself she feels like everyone is better than her..
hatred says:
I hate myself so much. I can no longer take it
hh says:
These comments are so heart wrenching because when i read them i recognise that I have felt the same way in the past but that after about 6 years I am starting to get through it.
The best things that have worked for me are:
– Going on a 20mg dose of Citalopram which is both an anti depressant and anti anxiety pill.
– Doing exercise daily
These might help you. I really recommend the anti depressants. I was trying to fix everything by myself through exercise, positive thinking, mindfulness, seeing psychologists, seeing my friends and keeping busy, but in the end this was all that worked for me. You just need to try to find the right one for you
Hot lips says:
I am empty. Every time things are going well I self sabotage in huge ways. I think to reinforce the fact that I am worthless to myself. I hate this ride, I would like to get off… I have been working with a psychiatrist and have been thru group as well as individual counselling for quite a few years. I still feel so alone, worthless, and like a huge drain on society. I do not see the progress my doc thinks I am making. I just feel awful, I would like to leave and forget my life ever existed. I cannot do that to my kids, the logic part of my brain would never let me. I am just so tired of trying to be good, when I know I never truly will be.
Kate says:
I used to be such a happy charismatic and energetic child, I’m 13 and my issues i’e recognised are self-loathe, anxiety, depression, paranoia and submersing myself in giving advice and help to others or worrying about life, my future and what people think of me and my decisions. Its all preventing me from being untrapped, i feel like im not living, everything i do is not good enough, theres a lot too much to write about. I have had many forms of help from GP’s and professional theraphists and such, but nothing has helped in all honesty. I’ve become a short tempered, angry, self-loathing, quiet, anxious, paranoid depressed person. I have no idea what to do anymore, my parents are supporting but they are very much old fashioned and seem to think this is a phrase which it might be but I am worried as I’ve been like this for about 4 years now, since year six. I’m hoping maybe you have some advice or something you could offer.
saira says:
i just feel worthless i am a stupid liar every one probably hates me no one sees when im upset my only friend was took away from me basicly i deserve to die people treat me different because im the clever one but i dont like it any more it seems you can have friends and be dumb or be a loner and clever and being alone is hard 🙁 sometimes suicide is all i want
Dirk says:
I shouldn’t feel unhappy, I shouldn’t feel the way I do. I have everything… yet every piece of me is disgusting.
I’m religious, I believe in God. I try putting my trust in him but I feel deep down inside myself that I am nothing; why would He love me?
I’ve made horrible mistakes, mistakes I wish I could take back. Mistakes that make me feel: disgusting, horrible, etc. I have no reason to live, I don’t want to be here anymore.
8th grade I turned to psychical self harm and I just recently stopped in 10th. My mental harm to myself continues on.
I don’t want to love anyone, I don’t want to put them through my own depression; I’ve turned everyone away and boxed myself up.
I feel useless. Disgusting. Horrible. And I can’t change the past. I can’t make it better. The guilt I feel.
How can I go through life like this? I just want to die.
TheHopeLine says:
Dirk, Sounds like you’ve been going through a really tough time. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we’re here for you and truly want to listen to what is going on in your life. We have some great resources we can give you to help you deal your depression and self-harm. A HopeCoach would love to pray with you and help you with the emotional support you need to get through this. Would you be willing to call us or chat with us at TheHopeLine today? We are open 24/7 and all you have to do is call 800.394.4673 or you can chat with one of our HopeCoaches about what is going on at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp . We also have a free app you can download to get help at http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp
Anu says:
I want to disappear from this world I feel worthless I’m nearly 34weeks pregnant and I haven’t a single shopping for my baby because I feel me and my baby is a big burden on my husband because he needs to support his family and we both came from nowhere in his life
Justine says:
I hope you and your baby are doing well 😀
Emma Lovelance says:
It’s a year since you’ve written this post, how are you doing now?
RainbowChicken99 says:
Ever since two years ago, I’ve always felt like I wasn’t good enough for anything, or anyone. My own mother says things practically meaning “You’re not good enough”; “You’re not working hard enough”. I start hating myself because of this, and I feel like I don’t deserve to be in this world and that there is no reason to live anymore. This might seem dramatic for a 13 year old girl like me, but there are always things other people don’t understand about my life. Even though I feel this every day, I know I mustnt give up on life yet because I still have a whole future ahead of me and it’s my decision whether to have it or not.
Kayla says:
I have nothing to complaIn about in my life. I have friends, family, food, a place to call home.. For whatever reason, I hate myself. I think I’m fat,ugly, stupid and I’ll never be good enough. People tell me thats not true, but it just makes me believe it more. I think I could do a lot more good for this world if I didn’t exist.
amy lorenz says:
I find that im breaking down and i know this isnt the real me..but i cant seem to get all theae negative thoughts about myself out of my head. I cry at the drop of a pin..even when im seemingly doing ok suddenly i just start crying. I came home from work on day..left my boyfriwnd of two years..quit my job..im alienating my friends and i have no motivation. Ive thought about death but dont wanna leave people behind. I dream of running away but i dont know to where. It feels like im getting pressure from my family and friends and bf to just deal with things and get back to the way it was. Its not that easy. Ive been trying and everyday i get angrier with myself for being this way. Im completely numb and empty and lost. I dont even know where to begin to pull myself up at.
Shreyas says:
Thank you for such a wonderful article it really meant everything I am now.People really are good at me sometimes I think that I am a bad person.Thank you so much I will try each step you said.
Andradite Fangirl says:
I’m trying to help my friends (a specific one is having a lot of trouble now) and it would be SO MUCH easier if she wouldn’t refuse to believe in God.
Beenamessallmylife says:
. I am a drug addict, a liar, a person I hate. I’ve stolen to support my habits. I told lie after lie to my wife so she finally left but it was three months after my mom passed November 2013. So the last year and change have brought me here. No my addiction started to get ugly 6 years ago. I cant fathom saying this but my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I have done her memory no justice, or good. So again I hate me for not being a good son. She sees who I really am now. I have three beautiful children, they are the only reason I go through this hell. I’ve had a problem since I was a teen with drugs and alcohol. The air force diagnosed me with a personality disorder and discharged me. I’m in a suboxone program but I believe that just keeps me from the street. Now the divorce is final I wont be able to afford to go anymore because of the expense. I started a new job with a meager pay but great schedule so I could see my kids more. Another reason is I was ripping off my employer to support my habit. My wife found out and held it over my head threw this process. I told her before I went into the sub program about everything. Just to try to keep her. 14 years is a long time. So it was fight or flight. We filed bankruptcy and gave up everything those twenty years took to get. I hate myself! I’ve always messed up. I got a DUI in 1999 cleaned up met her got a promotion and moved away to be with her. I was my best those 4/5 years. No drugs no alcohol we had our son and she wanted to move back home and it all went to hell the next 10 years. Last week broke the last straw I think. I totaled my car. Once again I hate myself for screwing one of the things I need to get to work and see my kids. I dont know where to begin to get right because it seems like everything that is gone is all I know. So I feel all your pain and maybe some more. When I break it will be epic.
Candylyn says:
My Dad didn’t want me. My Mom only stands me for what she can get from me. When I was younger, every guy I liked essentially said I was not worth the trouble and either ignored me or dumped me. My friends are dying left and right. I have kids and a husband but I am scared I am going to mess up with them. I love them and they actually love me. God what do you want from me?
Annie says:
My name is Annie I hate myself and I am lonely and empty. I have to kids and a husband who wish I looked more skinny. I am frustrated with everything around me . I can’t be a good mother to my kids.
jullian says:
hi im 18 years old and well i’ve got acne..
First i want to say that many people would think that acne is not that bad and that it will eventually go away. That is not entirely true. I have severe acne for almost a year now and it knocks your self-esteem level to below zero. After it got worse i’d stop looking into the mirror because i didn’t want to see myself like this. I know it will eventually get better as i get older the hormones will be less active.
For all the people out there who are battling acne… keep going.. you are not alone
noone says:
You can say anything you want or like but you never would know what or why the other one is so depressed…my parents left me alone in a madhouse 1 year ago,now im really scared and worried about light and stuff…really REALLY SCARED!
Anonymous says:
I feel the same sometimes I feel like no one loves me and that I don’t belong in the family god gave me but I had to take courage and tell my parents now I was not helped the way I should have been and sometimes I will still get the feeling but I knew I needed to continue to remember that I love who I am and I would never of been born and have an amazing life without that feeling
Cris says:
I used to think that I was good looking, intelligent, interesting, and fun to be around. Since I was 17 I’ve had multiple long term relationships with women who were gorgeous, well-liked, and happy; and seeing as they all stayed with me for long periods of time I figured there wasn’t anything wrong with me – one girl I was with even had my name tattooed on the back of her neck! (I must be a catch right?) , but aside from these relationships I have never had any friends since I was 13 years old. I live a very on-the-go life going to school, the gym, hiking, rock climbing, skiing, camping, to the psychiatrists office, just all over the place, ya know? I’m not stuck up, I’m nice, I don’t have crazy political or religious views, and there is nothing ‘weird’ about me so far as I can tell, I have a happy, upbeat persona and everyone I have known has told me I’m personable I start conversations with people I meet every day and I think I’m a great conversationalist! So why don’t I have friends? Why have I had ONE outing with ANYONE besides people in my family in the past SIX MONTHS? I don’t know the answer. I’ve tried journaling, meditation, acid, mushrooms, therapy, spiritual rejuvenation, tinder, modern-dance classes, painting… and still I haven’t figured out why every person I meet seems completely disinterested in me. I hate who I am, I hate that I have to try so hard and still nothing happens, I feel empty and dull, I am not happy and I don’t understand why hardly anyone has ever liked me or wanted to be my friend, but that’s life I guess.
Amanda says:
I have no idea why but I just feel empty and that I don’t fit in. My best friend didn’t sit with me today at lunch or break. She hasn’t for a few days now. I know she doesn’t want to be near me because I am depressed and hate myself. I never used to be like this and I keep asking God why this is happening. I have explaining to people why I am upset but they don’t understand. I really need some help I have been self harming and I feel like my life is getting worse. On top of this, Im grounded for something I didnt do but that isn’t relevant. Please help me.
Juli says:
I hate myself so much. I used to believe that God ut me here for a reason. I had to come through a lot of pain as a child and I always believed all this pain was sent to me so that I become a stronger, a kinder, a more understanding person, and that this strength and kindness will help me do something meaningful, if not great. And now that I’ve grown I realize I have not done any single meaningful thing in my life. I haven’t helped anyone, I haven’t become smart and kind, I haven’t done the things I dreamed of as a kid. The best thing I’ve done so far is refraining from suicide, because it would ruin my mother. But on the other hand I realize that I’m a waste of space and she would have done so much better if I had not been there in the first place. I’m falling apart, my life is just some endless string of crossroads where I always seem to take the wrong turn. I wish I could rewind time and relive at least 5 years differently, but sometimes I feel like that wouldn’t make any difference, as I’d still stay the stupid, weak, complaining and talentless me.
Jayda says:
At this point I’m looking for anything to help me change how i view myself.
Tyler Gilbert says:
I have lots of hate towards myself… I constantly doubt myself and am full of anxiety… I am so afraid of the future and of change because I fear what is coming… I over think constantly and I look for acceptance from other people and not myself… I’m at a dead end job and I still live at home.. I get so angry at myself and so down and depressed… All I want is to not live In fear and be confident and not second guess myself all the time.. I want to love myself so that I can love another… I have considered counciling but have never went…
claire says:
I feel you
;( says:
🙁
Pastor's-kid says:
I know God loves me. And I know that he has a purpose for me. I come from a pretty perfect christian family. My dad is a pastor, and I know that my family loves me.
But there are times when I just don’t believe it… Or I forget or something. There are things I do like about my self, sure, but there are many times where I really just really loath myself. I feel so inadequate some times… Like a failure. Especially if I do poorly on an exam, or waste time, or fall into old temptations that just keep coming back. I have it so much better than a lot of people, but I still feel depressed a lot. I am really good at hiding it. But it’s just smoke and mirrors. I know I should be happy, I should have joy, but I feel depressed a lot. It’s not really sadness per say, but more of a feeling of worthlessness and failure. I am ashamed to admit that there are times when I would rather just die and be over with it. But suicide would be so selfish. It would hurt my family so much, and it would be a big blow to girls who look up to me as a sunday school teacher and camp counselor. I could never do it. But such thoughts sometimes do creep in. It scares me! But when under stress or when I fail at something it just reinforces my self-hate. I don’t feel comfortable talking to my family about it. I haven’t really talked to anyone. I am supposed to be a perfect pastor’s kid, getting straight A’s in college, being a great Sunday school teacher and camp counselor etcetera. But I am not those things. I am a good actress. I doubt anyone knows different. Not even those closest to me.
Andrew says:
I hate myself as I’m a spotty freak my friends even seem like they hate me because if it’s a joke or anything it’s related to me also they all gang up on me and I just can’t take it what do I do I can’t make new friends as I’m nearly in year 11
unknown36 says:
My whole life i have been told that i am ugly. I have worked very hard to push that aside and say it isnt true. Tonight again someone made a comment about my looks. I am hurt and im so tired of people reminding me of how ugly i am. I know deep down i believe them but i kust dont want to be remineded anymore. Im sorry just needed to get that off my chest.
Me says:
You explained this really well. I completely understand where you are coming from.
Helen Dooley says:
My life is not terrible even though terrible things have happened in my life I don’t feel traumatized or affected I guess. Yes trust is my biggest issue… If you’re not my mom or one of my siblings or cousins (close) I don’t trust. I am angry since 5 yrs ago I left my husband who was on meth and yes I did too. My daughter is 5 and I married her father 2x once 20 yrs ago ( my oldest is 20). I feel nothing but anger inside this last year especially. I feel like a big meanie to my child too often. I hate seing her hurting or lacking from attention but I am so tired ALL the time from working and my my child is soo exhaustive completely unlike my oldest … I know this is long maybe too long it’s my first post and I am considering deleting it…sincerely always angry
TheHopeLine says:
TheHopeLine has just created a new Ebook on self-worth http://thehope.dm/selfworthebook. HopeCoaches are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ And they can connect you with counselors, mentors, and other resources. We care about you!
Rhiannon says:
I’m not unhappy in general, I just get hurt too easily and feel deep pain when I fail to make things better. It breaks my heart when I know I’ve made someone else feel unpleasing emotions, and that’s the only times I’ve ever felt like disappearing, because of this belief that without me, others would never have felt unpleasing emotions in the first place. I know it’s unrealistic and I understand I need to change my attitude towards failures and mishaps. I don’t hate life, I actually look forward to so so much (especially a future with you), it just pains me when I make bad decisions or I’m the cause of someone else’s pain, or suffering, and because I don’t have any solutions, (like a time machine to send me back and make sure I don’t annoy you :P) it steals my hope and joy. I just don’t sit around thinking about the possibilities that I am already doing enough, and that I can and do make positive changes in others lives already. On and off, I do feel an inadequate feeling and an unrealistic reality that my mistakes could have wrecked people’s days or the way they feel about life. And when I hurt others through my actions instead of making their life better, I feel my life doesn’t reflect my values and I feel I’ve failed deeply (not only failed myself, but failed those who love me and think well of me, I feel I’ve failed their impression of me, and that their perception of me will forever see the negative I do). And I never just tell myself that it’s okay to have failed and that everyone does. It’s not about disliking my life, it’s about feeling hopeless to change what I’ve done and wishing I could be different and better, but knowing (despite all willpower) I will never be able to always do whats right. It’s the idea that I’m just not ok with that reality that really pushes me down.
Does anybody else understand this feeling?
JT says:
I hate I still don’t no my purpose and the world
Susan B says:
All self-help literature seem to say “You have to learn to love yourself,” “There’s an amazing person inside you”, etc. But…what if that’s really not true? I am not a nice person and I’m not being especially hard on myself. But it’s fact that I am lazy, selfish, self-centred, greedy, mean-spirited, bad-tempered, impatient and a host of other bad characteristics. Maybe I’m a much harsher critic on myself than others would be on me, but that’s only because i am the only one who knows what’s going on in my mind. Everyone else just sees my fake smile and so-called polite manners. They don’t hear my thoughts wishing they would just leave me alone, they don’t hear the way i criticize them in my mind, they don’t know how i really feel about them. So, yes if I ask others what they think of me, I probably won’t get very bad feedback. Only I know just how bad my personality is. I feel like there’s no point when people tell me that I’m being negative, that I’ve got to learn to believe in myself, because if I know the truth. There’s really nothing in me to believe in.
I feel the most free from these thoughts when I’m alone. When I don’t have to interact with people. I immerse myself in books, tv shows, movies. The fictional world is the only place I can create a better/nicer me.
i am very anti-social. I hate it when people come over to visit. I hate visiting others. I sometimes feel that way about my close friends, too. in fact, there are times I will lie to my friends if they ask me to meet them for a movie or a meal, even though I have absolutely nothing else on.
And so I keep wondering…for people like me, who are truly not nice…what do i do? Its not so simple as saying CHANGE YOUR MIND. BE SOMEONE BETTER. like….well, if I could, I would have changed a long time ago. or at least tried hard to. Now it’s like, I can’t be bothered to try anything anymore. I’m just waiting for the day I die, so that this will just end. No need to worry anymore about what others think. No need to care about whether I’m acting nice in front of people so they won’t discover just what I am.
Jason says:
Trust me I feel pretty worthless right now. College, years of experience and all I can get is a hourly job? Doesn’t help that my wife doesn’t have half the credentials that I have, yet makes almost 3 times as much. I really just don’t know what to do, and neither am I convinced that it matters anymore. Almost 40 btw, just to hammer home the point.
Alonewithloveallaround says:
I’m really down. I went through a divorce two years ago, and I met someone else and got married. I should feel amazing someone has shown me I’m worth loving. But I’m dealing with terrible anxiety he will stop loving me and leave me, because it’s happened before. I’m aware this is totally unfair- because this isn’t the same man. But I have these crazy attacks of worrying he doesn’t love me or care about me. It isn’t because he isn’t a good husband. He’s a great husband. But every time he does a small thing- that worries me- I get really upset. Then I hate myself for not being laid back and happy. Why do I feel so upset all the time? Why do I constantly doubt my husband’s love? I’m a Christian- I know God loves me. And my family is amazing. I have three amazing children. But I can’t get a handle on my self control. I’m constantly feeling like everyone will leave me, or abandon me. My feelings of intense sadness and loneliness are uncalled for. I struggle talking to people about it- knowing I’ll be a burden- and then I’ll feel bad again. I don’t want to be a needy wife or friend. I’m tired of being that. I want to help people, be happy with my amazing husband, and happy with God. I want to stop feeling so horrible- when I have such an amazing life. It makes no sense. It’s not logical- and I’m a very logical person. I can’t seem to fight these feelings or escape them. I teach myself truth- reminding me of reality but tomorrow I’ll feel the same way. I want to be amazing- but I know I’m just not.
walid says:
What if people say I am ugly
whatevs says:
Every single day I live in regret. I think about how many opportunities I have messed up in the past. It reinforces the idea that I am a failure. I just want to go back and start over but, I don’t know what would happen if I killed myself. This is my last year. If nothing changes I am going to just get in my car and keep driving until I am far away, then shoot myself.
I just don’t care anymore. I’m so ashamed of myself for being such a failure. I’m so tired of pretending to be happy and doing what others expect of me. I am so done with changing to please other people. I don’t even know who I am because I have never really done anything because I wanted too.
I hate these arrogant, self righteous, individuals that keep trying to manipulate me to do what they want. They are so annoying and stupid. They are so selfish and it’s driving me nuts. The worst part is that inside I am just like them. I pretend to be happy so other people will stay out of my business. I do what they expect so they think I am nice and will do what I want when the time comes.
I feel like a monster for being this way but, hiding it so well. It is killing me inside. I can’t tell anyone because I can’t trust anyone. I tried with my own father and he swore, randomly, that it was just between us. Then, I go outside one night and hear him talking about me to his girlfriend through the door. God I should have known seeing as how he loves to tell stories. How could I ever believe I would be any different than just another story to tell?
I wish I could just kill myself inside and stay alive so these people can have their slave. I know this is all pride but, I just don’t care. It makes me sick to see children with more potential than I have. It angers me to see everyone I know moving on with their lives as I am still stuck in the same place I was 8 years ago. It annoys me to see people seem happy about things I find to be insignificant. But, none of them know because I hide so well. They believe I am one of them. When the truth is that I am not. I wish I was never born every single day. I wish someone had asked me if I wanted anything to do with this pointless experience.
I just want to go back and change. Change it so that my parents never met each other.
Tyler (girl) says:
i just feel so undefined im not happy but im am not sad i can go all day smiling and being happy i can be happy but sometimes it just over powers me and i cant get it to go away its not like i want to kill myself i just need some help to get my life straight, i love but i do not feel loved
Hannah says:
I feel horrible about my self… I was sexually touched when I was a little girl, I have bin told I live in a bubble and don’t even let my sisters in. I lie and most times I don’t know if I am lying to myself or not. I don’t have any friends, I always say the wrong thing at the wrong time, plus I am home schooled so I never go any were. and I am only 18… what should I do?!
Ladymeek says:
After reading everyone’s comments I can relate to how everyone is feeling I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts ever since I was child and since I have always just put on a happy face and pretended like everything was ok, I always felt guilty about having those thoughts because suicide affects more than just myself it affects my loved ones and I would never want to hurt them, I spent so much time self loathing that it’s taken over my thoughts but one thing I can count on is prayer that has always helped me, I don’t understand my purpose in life but I know I am here for a reason, God created me and he didn’t make a mistake, I just hope one day I can discover his purpose for my life and I can remove this dark cloud from my life and just be free and enjoy life
- says:
well I’m only 14, but I hate myself. society has got to me. I feel ugly and worthless and fat. sure I have above a 4.0 GPA but it doesn’t even seem to have any value compared to beauty or popularity.
trav says:
I truly do hate myself. Hate becomes more severe when I say that because I’m mad that I truly feel that way about myself. I made some mistakes. Who hasnt? But mine are unforgiving and even if I forgave I feel the results would stay the same. I don’t know I feel this tho I truly do and could name off many reasons. Can’t remember where it all began. I feel as tho I am intelligent to I make horrible mistakes. People that know nothing of how I feel or what I.been through see me as A above average person though I can’t exceed my skills. I’m logical I’m too realistic a leader hard worker but at some point I fail every time. Am I missing something? I’m bipolar 22 year old male dating a 37 year old who I love but don’t want to be with a person that much older then me but she would be lost in a bad way without me. I have the best of friends because of who I am but I screwed them over. I screwed my life long brother over and he died 6 months later l. Can’t get over that to the point I’m numb. As crazy as it sounds I still don’t know why or how I could be so low to the most important most supportive person I ever had. My other brother died 3 Times from drug overdose he survived but is much different. I had a abortion with the 37 year old. Thought my life was coming to a end and her husband was so abusive if he found out he would have killed my kid and it terrified me. I make stupid mistakes I can’t get over I’m bipolar my.anxiety is so bad it’s unbelievable I have no self esteem and have been a alcoholic to 3 Years now. I use to have one hundred friends be cheerful confident and leave a everlasting positive impression on people. Now I can’t get out of my own shell. Someone give advise I know I c(an be much better because I have I just don’t know how I got here or how I could change back or if it’s even possible please help
Fed up with Life says:
I have hated myself since I was a kid. Even now up to the age of 35 no matter what I do, nothing goes right. Tired of being single while everyone else has someone, tired of always ending up hating my job because I have become too loyal to companies and get taken advantage of. I can’t even get my own businesses to work because I hate myself so much, I don’t have any confidence in myself to go out and speak to people. It’s just easier to end my life, I have officially given up. Everyone I have met that are successful are good looking etc, even though I gym everyday and eat healthy I just can’t seem to get on the same level. God put people like me here to make good looking people’s life’s easier because people would rather approach them then approach me. Hell, to think that I have never been asked out on a date or even being given a valentines gift…sigh. I realised in business as well that if you don’t have self confidence, you get no where, but how do you build self confidence if you can’t even bear to look in the mirror. I have missed out so much in life because I can’t even swim in public as I am so ashamed of my body, the fat and all the hair, and being short on top of it. People always look down on me and over rule me….time to say goodbye to this evil world, and hope god can answer my questions….
joe says:
i just wanted to say that you are all worth what you stand for. You can be the person who creates something that other humans will cherish. In this universe were just another species so don’t think that were on top and are being judged by others. In this world we are surrounded by people no smarter than a 5 year old child. We just undergo different stuff in life
lk says:
And what if i.don’t believe god? Them what are you gonna tell me about self hate
DramaIzzy says:
I feel like I’m being overdramatic, especially with my name and all. But sometimes, a lot of times now, I find myself just really, really hating myself and the world. I just want to stop. I hate myself when I get freaking 89s and I hate myself when I look in the mirror. I thought about cutting myself but I am too cowardly to do it. LOL
L says:
I’m a finnish, newly 18 years old girl, and I have hated myself for over 4 years. It started in fifth grade when my “friends” started to comment on my body: “small boobs are ugly”, they said. Come on… I was 11, no eleven year old girl should have to worry about her breast size. anyway, ever since it have all turned worse. I have extremely low self-esteem, I compare myself with everyone, and I suffer from bad panicattacks. I panic and start to cry over small things that the majority of every 18 year old would manage with ease.
It have even come to the point where I hate myself for not being able to hurt myself/try taking my life, because i’m too scared.
It’s so stuoid.
I wish I could find a solution, but as many of you that feel this way knows, it’s an impossible feeling.
Sorry for my bad english.
penelope says:
I can honsetly say i do hate myself. I am ugly, im quiet,im not someone fun to be around either. Im stupid. I dont want to sound like i want attention, i just wanna get it off my chest and scream it to the world. Nothing seems to go my way,i wake up thinking great another day to go TRY and learn something. Another day to follow th same routine. Another day to live in fear of something not actually there for normal people.
nat says:
I’ve felt this way for a long time too. Im newlywed, and already Im finding that I bring my wife down sometimes. In truth I think there is good reason why people feel depressed. The world which God meant us to live in is crumbling due to greed and corporate abuse, and all things good seem to be getting blowed down and turned into polluting buildings. at times, I feel as though my depression is the only thing that keeps me going to try to be a better person and act against the ways of greed and do things that will help advance the kingdom of God. But I’m such a downer sometimes and i can’t stand bringing people down; thats where the self-hate sometimes comes from. its like an impossible game of tug-of-war. I sometimes wonder if Jesus was seen as a downer or if he experienced depression. After all, he was rejected by his own people. an example that we are to follow but may not lead to our own happiness
dumbeddown says:
glad i came across this. many have said the words that i too feel. constantly kicked out as a kid and relationships getting tired of me after a couple yrs. being told i was different and not fitting in. wishing life was a dream i would just wake up from. i used to make friends easily, after last relationship he said everyone hated me and kicked me out of his house. my boss said i was different and gave me basic social skills. i was doing clinical medical help, took many yrs of psych and soc and abnormal psych courses and aced everything. well once pulled a B. it is mortifying. i did my jobs and did them well. i was reliable and stayed late often and never complained or gossiped. now i am practically a shut in, eat, play facebook games and my grown kids are enjoying their lives for the most part. my youngest is paralyzed and gets some kind of major surgery once a yr and almost lose him. my oldest got of the wars thankfully but came back different after seeing people die around him etc. i never abused my kids adn researched parenting lifestyles naturally to give them a healthy outlook knowing mine was abusive on multilevels. i am no longer needed as kids are far away. i just send them goodies once a month and give my CC#s for take out sometimes. scared to make friends as they may see my real face..whatever that is ..and leave. i will take hundred of bucks to the casino to have people to talk to. have a cat to talk to in case i adapt the behavior of talking to myself and get misdiagnosed with dementia as iMHO many of the elderly do. most docs and healthgivers do not get true lonliness and reliving memories of someone caring and talking it out like the are there when no one is looking. wish i were into mystical thinking so i would not be alone and feel accepted. i know the truth though i have been tested sane and balanced. a fractured upbringing and consistent rejection reinforces that there must be something wrong. iMHO. ty for listening
dumbeddown says:
i have tried a few times in my life too. i think the last time i tried i gave myself epilepsy. no one knows about this. i have downed so many sleep aids and over the counter pills at once with alcohol but always manage to wake up….whoopie…. just never had the guts to use anything else but pills..glad you have a support system 🙂 wish you well now and always
gabriella says:
im sorry u feel that way I know nothing from a stranger can change how u feel completely but just know we all know what youre going through and feel youre not alone, otherwise we wouldn’t be here /:
dumbeddown says:
autism has that side effect if i recall correctly. you may have a mild form. i believe you have a medical condition not a head condition. after i was alone for some time things would just blurt from my mouth …especially “call me” after a time of silence and nothing to engage in verbally. i then would blow things off like they are part of a song and sing after whatever i said a made up song feeling embarrassed as all hell. i was afraid of dementia r something. often “love you hubby” would spill forth. have not seen him in over 20 yrs and he dumped me. i got a cat and it rarely happens now but i talk to the cat all time. i am afraid of feeding into it making it more of a behavorism or something. don’t believe the spurting outs. mine means nothing. maybe try to play it off my singing after to cover it up like i do. just some ideas hun…i feel ya
steven says:
I hate myself
why?
Because I don’t do anything whit my life
What do you do in your free time?
Video games, movies, listen to music , hate
myself and dabble in welding
What type of music
classical,hard rock,electronic
what type of games
mmorpgs and fps
what type of movies
Serial killer preferd but violent
why do you like violent ones
bcause they feed my wish of being one
so you want to kill?
Yes but I won’t because of the repocutions
ok, why do you dabble in welding
For a carrier I thought it would be enjoyable
Why do you hate your self again?
Because …..My life is void of worth and
meaning because games and music and movies are temporary and so is a carrier to those that are after you so everything I do is temporary
Emma says:
I shouldn’t really be unhappy but I am anyway. I feel like my mom hates me and she says she loves me but…I don’t feel loved. My cousin gets all the attention.
Emma says:
At least I’m finally not the only one who feels this way.
James Smith says:
I can’t stand the sight of myself. I’ve always felt like a burden on everyone around me and the all would be better off if I were dead. Each day I feel closer to being pushed away from everyone and soon they won’t have too. My wife is constantly all over me about whatever she can think of. I can be sitting in front of the TV after work and she will absolutely hate the fact I am resting. I told her that if she keeps upsetting me that I will eventually have a heart attack. She said something needs to happen to me. So now what. She’s not the only one who does this. I give up. No one can talk me out of my fate. That is how I feel. I wish I were dead.
kimanim77 says:
Some of my earliest memories are of people some from my own family making fun of me. Mostly because of my looks. I can remember being 9 and hating how i looked hated looking in the mirror i am now 37 soon 38 and still cant stand to look at myself in the mirror. I have had “family” members tell me i was worthless and how ugly i am. I hated school and it was horrible for me. I used to wonder how my mom and dad could stand to look at me. I chose men who were really bad for me they paid attention to me they told me what i wanted to hear the last one was the one to make me decide as long as i hate myself i should not date. I have to learn to love myself for my daughter in no way shape or form do i want her to feel about herself the way i feel about myself. It didn’t help matters that my dad was part native american i am pail and the kids used to tease me about that asking me if he was my real dad and then some of the racial slurs started which only added to my self loathing i started to retreat i started drinking and smoking pot it was a way for me to go numb and not feel anything Now i don’t do that but i still am very reserved around people and i don’t like to be around them for long.I have trouble relating to people i have had people pretend to be friends just to turn on and burn me. I had people pretend to be my friend and invite me to sleep overs only to play tricks on me..I have had so called family members purposely leave me out of things they invite everyone else to then purposely rub it in my face! Really nice especially when my dad had passed away just the week before started to wonder what the hell was so wrong with me.
vamsi says:
I feel like everyone around me are better than me in everyway and there is absolutely no use by me to anyone. Im not even strong to die.I don’t even feel like there is someone to help me out of this feeling,but sharing my problem with you guys feels good.
some girl says:
I have many people that tell me i’m beautiful all day everyday… I have a boyfriend ive been with for almost 5 years and he loves me to death & he hates seeing me depressed. But it seems that i have this void somewhere inside of me that i can’t seem to explain and no one would understand. I have good days, but then i catch myself start thinking about something negative. It’s just hard to continually battle it in my mind. I dont believe in taking medication..that will only worsen things in my opinion, and i dont need to be any crazier than i already am. How do people live such a happy, fulfilling, blessed life? I’m the type who has practiced “the secret” and all that “positive stuff”.. i just wish that i could get over feeling this way, and just be at peace with myself. I don’t know what will make me happy…
Hannah says:
I hate myself and ithers hate me! I cant take it how everyone treats me like a piece of trash that got tossed out if a truck on the side of the road. I hate it my brothers and sister hurt me physically and emotionaly i tell my parents but they dont listen to me i feel like killing myself if i do i can be in a better place where everyone will love me.😰😰😰😰😰😰
maggie says:
I’m 24 years old and I feel like no one in the world should hate themselves like I do.. some days I’m fine, but it can turn in a second. I feel worthless/useless/ugly/stupid, and I feel like I’m a pain in the rear to everyone I know. Whenever I think maybe I should call a friend when I feel this way I automatically switch to thinking why does anyone want to hear my sob story , what would they care? Why would anyone care about me?
Erika says:
I’m sorry but I’d like a little help.
I switch between a happy-go-lucky me to a self-loathing person everyday.
I don’t know why that happens. I talked to my school counsellor and she said that we all have a “parent” “adult” and “child”.
Parent would be the self-critical side that you learn from authority,
Child would be the fun-loving but irresponsible side we all have, and
Adult is what regulates the two (your self-aware self).
I’m always a child around my friends and I always joke around and have fun. But when I go home from school, I start hating myself. I reach home and I distract/cheer myself up by watching youtube (I know. Bad idea.) it’s successful though, as I stop hating myself and everything, but I let hours fly by (despite setting alarms and reminders – it’s as if in that moment in time, I don’t care about the consequences). I notice the time, snap out of it, panic, get as much work done, then fall asleep (which is what I hate myself about).
When I get up next morning, the negative emotions are gone and its all reset.
I almost forget about it and I’m all happy again.
I feel helpless as I keep repeating this. To everyone around me, I just look like someone who’s always happy.
Only sometimes when I’m introspective do I see this endless cycle and I’m looking for help.
I went to see a psychologist and apparently I’m not mentally ill.
But there has to be something wrong with me. No one is this emotionally unstable.
TheHopeLine says:
Hannah, We want you to know that you matter and you are loved and worthy. You deserve to be treated with respect and love from your brother’s and sister. Please tell an adult about what is going on and that you need help. You are not alone in what you are dealing with…we are here for you…please call 800.394.4673 or go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp to chat with a HopeCoach anytime. If you ever feel like you are in danger please call 911 and let them know what is going on in your house.
ihateme. says:
I feel unhappy & unloved.
Kayla says:
I feel the same way
Clare says:
I’m an atheist. This post unfortunately did not help me, but I really need help. I know why I hate myself. It it for all the reasons in the article. But I don’t know how to love myself. Help me please. I need help…
Lucy says:
This is me, I am the not so attractive second option. I am
always second. First would be best, third would be worst, I am the one you
might go for if you don’t have another option. I am average, in body, weight,
height, my face. My eyes are blue, but not that blue. My nose is a bad shape,
you can see it in photographs and it sits wrongly on my face like a tear in
paper. Imperfect paper. But not unusable. Oh yes, I am usable, I am used often.
I am a passing option; I never stick around for long because I am not beautiful
to look at. My skin is dry and pale, it is not desired. None of me is
desired. I am not to be brought home to
your parents, I will be awkward. I am not a cheerleader. I try very hard but I cannot
be anyone else. The most I can do for myself is be myself, and I’m sorry that
that disappoints the world. Being myself makes me slightly happier than being a
someone I am not, even though i am not as accepted. I try to be kind. But I am
not kind to myself. I promise I would still be kind if I can be what I want to
look like. I am weird, my humour will baffle you and you will hate it. You will
talk about me and laugh about me and how I dress. You will not care to talk to
me lest you be seen with me. I will hide. I will go red if you talk to me. I will
want you to walk away, or stay, I don’t know. I contradict everything is say. I
am always sure of what I want. I know what I want to be, I will never be that.
I am lazy; I want what I won’t work for. Some will tell me to kill myself, I am
a waste. I am. But I am too much of a coward. I fear for everything. I am
stupid, I cannot do mental arithmetic. I know I am not the worst off in the
world, which is why I feel guilty. People who have less manage to smile more. Why
can’t I? I am ungrateful. I am never satisfied. I want to be her. I want him. I
try not to hate. But I hate myself. She is pretty, she is perfect, she is
normal, she is a cheerleader, she is what you want. She is what you get. She gets
you. You are happy. She is perfect. When things go wrong I am there, the second
choice. But not for long. I am not worth it. I am never worth it. I swear. I drink.
I smoke. I don’t even do them to cope. I just do them. I long for things that
seem whole, like travel. But I will not work hard enough to get the money to
save up for the trip. I trip, in public, I laugh. If I did not laugh at when I fall
at something, or for someone then I would never get up. I accept. I accept you
and your flaws but I will try and erase mine with something that will not work
on the crumpled paper of my life. You are looking for the one, you pretend she
is me. You search my average face. It is not enough for you. You leave. I am
alone. I like to be alone. But I don’t. I
wish I wasn’t so unstable. But I am. I am not worth this. I will die not being
worth it. I love my family. But I am mean. Because I am selfish. Because I am
selfish I am unlovable. I am sorry for being this way, I am sorry for existing.
I am sorry for being the way I am. I really am sorry, I am.
TheHopeLine says:
Clare, A HopeCoach is available 24/7 to chat online or talk to you on the phone. Call 800.394.4673 or to chat go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. You are not alone, Clare, a HopeCoach is there to listen.
lala says:
Im 14 and I hate school and im not doing well in school no matter how hard I try and I hate my teachers. I know I wont get a job whrn im older. I do gymnastics but I started 2 years ago so there is no point in me doing it because I wont get anywhere with it cause its too late. I hate myself!
XxGummyBearxX says:
I don’t like how I am ending up. I feel like everything is stupid and pointless and I’m tired of it. I have a girlfriend but I like someone else….its not her just me (I don’t cheat btw) and I wish I could push the game over button because I’ve been on for far too long, I’m tired and exhausted and done with life…..
Hey says:
I usually do hate myself. I can’t do this. I can’t do that. I think it has something to do with what other people think. I know I should not listen to what they say. But u do and I’m sorry. I’m such a hypocrite I tell quite a lot of people not to listen to them yet I do. But I find myself faking a smile so others think I’m ok. 😔😔😔😔😔😔
Your blogs are great.
merie says:
i don’t really hate myself its just i …….. embrassed of what i did in school!
Belle says:
I’ve always hated myself. I’ve been rejected by kids always at a young age. I also look at myself and hate what I look at. I suffered from anorexia and being bulimic. No one understands the pain I feel on the inside. I also suffer with severe depression and anxiety and I just don’t know what to do. I have tried self harm, carving, and overdosing. Though they don’t make it much worse they haven’t made it better. I don’t have any hope in life and I’ve tried so hard to overcome it, but it always comes back.
Bratista says:
I have a husband and two kids, but I just can’t seem to get happy. I love my family, but I am majorly anxious and depressed. I don’t know what to do. I worry excessively about my children, and it makes me miss out on loving them.
Robert Davis says:
I must practice the same thing day by day. I understand my self worth, an individual, with potentional. Family man, corporate man, architect, whatever I could be. I am a son, and I Dont even see emotions as human rather than complex reactt. This realization gave way to this hole. This hole inside, so large, unbridgeable to me. Its there and shows me the meaningless things and how irrational things are. It festers a hatred for all and even myself. I act on these emotions and can’t stop it but I can control it.
For years this hole has caused pain. I in my head see what I am and want to be this, but it hurts. It helps me stay strong yet alone. I Dont want this anymore, so for years I have both attempted, planned, and thought about ending it. Knives, the city bridge, freezing to death. I love freezing to death the most, you die in your sleep, very peaceful. But you can have a change of heart, this is not something I want. No, if I am ever driven to the limit that I am to take that last action to ensure the end of my life, I would hang myself. There’s no room and time for a change of heart, and I Dont want to blow my brains out, to messy. I Dont even want to be buried in a box. I want the worms and maggots to eat my corpse after I’m buried. This is my daily struggle. The woods across from my house are beautiful.
In The Moment says:
You are depressed. It makes everything seem bad and hopeless. I just saw this post. I hope you and anyone that reads this with the same feelings will reach out to someone. There are no perfect people in this world. We all accept.love and understand that with others. Give yourself the same acceptance. Love yourself the way you love and accept the imperfections of those you love and respect. Read and understand depression. Knowledge is a powerful thing. I came very close to ending my life when I was first thrown into a deep depression. I had a friend that called and convinced me I was not the way I perceived myself. I still have bad days but they are getting not as bad and less often. I am becoming àstronger and more confident person the more I learn and do. My strength comes from prayer, healthy foods, exercise, and living in the now. I slurp up joy to the fullest and work daily at throwing out the negative noise I’ve stored in my head. We are all different but truly equal…that includes you.
hopelessgirl says:
okayyyy i can’t believe that i talk now but i will be honest all my life in a school that she is contained baby class primary even the high school the problem is i think that the 13 years and im now 16 feel rejected by everyone they treat me so badly they laugh on me when i do anything i decided to not be social wiz anybody and be in a corner i have passed all the bad and depressed thing in it however this school is take a lot of money and her appearance is so beautifull but i being hated myself cose of it i haven’t any friend except 3 friends in whole my entire life and they always left me and betray me and i has to be wiz them because i didn’t have anyone else also when i need them i didnt find them and when they came to me i can’t stop them more than this when i tried to talk to anybody they underestimate me i feel like it is a prison that they don’t care that im a person that has a feelings too so my friends they make me have no selfconfident and feel pain and depressed all the time also makes me very shy to do anything so when the school put psychological activity i feel shy and always not share wiz anybody because they don’t care also i started being offensive so nobody love me and still they didn’t respect like anyone else
stjepan says:
(sry for my english) i hate my self 2 i am 20 years old and since i wash 13 things start to go down under sure there where good times bat most things i did where bad i wash raisd chatolic christian and yes i am a believer in God all wash wonted to do best can bat i culdent allways to lazy or i wold allways act full of my self when ever i wold go home i wold think why em i these way i did in those 8years bad things so evrithing started to go worse when i wash little i wold plays baskettball i wash good at it i allways wonted to do the best bat my dad wash allway like thats not good you neeed to do better at 14 – 15 my dad started to drink more and more my mom and my sister where allways mad at him i wash 2 some time he wold beat me well i understand why he wash in war and his sister died so yes i did bat i allways hated when he beat me or when he wash angry.Most things i done in life where bad so mostly that destroyed me now i em in a depression i tried to hang my self 4-5 times i allways wold hide my scars from my mom and sisters i allways ask God why em i like these never answerd i feel disupointed at him why he wold not help me dont no what to say i wash i wash never born.I dont go out no more i dont wont to be near people i am a terreble person i hate my self with whole passion i wish i wash never born!
Opal says:
I am fourteen and I don’t have much to be unhappy about as a middle class white girl living in america. My dad is wealthy and I have adorable pets and a loving family. Sure, there are a few issues, but no one’s life is perfect. But at school, I hardly speak. I barely make any friends and I’m so painfully shy and awkward. I have severe social anxiety disorder and talking to people is terrifying to me. I wake up at 5:40 and eat a pop tart or something, and won’t eat anything until 5:00 in the afternoon because I’m too scared to eat in public. I hate myself so much. I’m an ugly, disgusting, horrible piece of crap, and I sometimes think I don’t really deserve to be alive, but I’m too scared to hurt or kill myself. It’s just like something in me has shriveled up and died, and even though I’m basically normal, no bipolar or depression or dead relative or anything bad, I feel like I’m an alien. Like I don’t belong here. Like I wasn’t supposed to be born. And then I hate myself more because I don’t deserve to be upset since I have nothing ‘real’ to be upset about. I feel like there’s no one I know who understands. If any of them are gong through what I am, they can at least cover it up, fake it. They can at least pretend to be normal, but I just can’t. I never speak, I bury myself in books or work or my phone. Being at school drains me, so when I come home I’m mentally exhausted, and my mom always wants to talk, and gets angry at me when I don’t want to, so it’s built up a deep resentment for her, and for the past couple of years I’ve felt like I hate her. Sleeping over at one of the few friends I have’s house is really difficult, because by the end I feel like I don’t have the energy to be “On” anymore. To put so much energy into being so painfully aware of what I look like, what I’m doing, how I should act, how I should be, is so draining, and by the end of each day I can’t talk, I can’t possibly spend any more energy on trying to be normal, so I plug in my earphones (one of the few things that makes me happy) to ‘recharge’ and my parents think I’m being antisocial. I don’t understand how I can be so normal, and yet so utterly messed up. Something’s wrong with me, but I have absolutely no reason to complain about anything. I’m so confused and hurt, but I feel like I’m just overreacting and I should just quit complaining when there are people out there going through REAL stuff, and in comparison, I have it so, so easy.
Samantha says:
So sometimes I love this moment, or I love my life. but really deep down I can’t except myself. I’m a spoiled brat and I know everyone looks down at me, I act happy for my friends. My really I just hate myself. I’m a spoiled brat who’s mean and selfish. I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m not enough like I’m too little. I feel unwanted. It’s just I don’t even understand anymore, because like I’m sometimes so happy I could cry in joy, but other times I’m crying myself to bed for a few weeks straight I just don’t really understand life, and why doesn’t god stop all these people from hurting themselves, why does God watch all of us suffer. I can’t even understand anything,
Jason says:
Not sure how this works..so guess I am going to just ..talk
Jason says:
Hi..
Not sure.. What to do..just talk..?.I can’t seem to stop being an angary person that hates my self..I feel like my family don’t like me…and I don’t blame them especially my wife..
Jason says:
I hope we all can find our self..godspeed..
balinne says:
I can tell you right now, God made a mistake creating me and allowing me to live. I’ve challenged him to kill me and yet I’m still alive. All that proves is that he’s ignoring me and doesn’t love me at all.
Kayla says:
I’m just 12 years old and it feels like everyone hates me. I never talk to my mum about it because I don’t want her to worry about me. I always think I’m ugly or I’m fat or somethings wrong with me that people don’t like. I use y’all cry at night because I’m so sad. I always thing people will pick on me the next day or my friends will pick on me. To make matters worse my brothers and sister are mean to me aswell. I say to myself at night “everyone hates me and I have no friends” while crying. What can I do? Should I commit suiside? ( don’t know how to spell it). Can someone please help me?
TheHopeLine says:
Kayla- We are here for you. When you have those negative feelings, please call one of our HopeCoaches. We are here for you 24/7 for phone or chatting online. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Kayla says:
Thank you but I don’t have a phone and I don’t want my mum to worry about me
TheHopeLine says:
You can use your computer to chat with a HopeCoach online. We are here for you.
Kayla says:
I’m feeling better after hearing that thanks
emma says:
i feel so bad, because i can’t even kill myself
i’m too scared of this world, to be all on my own
so lonely, so scared
i just wish that somehow i die, free space for someone better
TheHopeLine says:
Emma, Thank you for reaching out for help. Living in fear is very difficult. It’s important that you talk to someone about what is going on. You are not alone. We are here for you. Please chat with a HopeCoach at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp or call us at 800.394.4673 Know that you are worthy and needed in this world.
Corina Hernandez says:
Some days I’m okay and happy, and some days I’m not, I’ve noticed I don’t like to be around a lot of people at parties and drinking, I rather be home. I love my boyfriend and I love son, but sometimes I feel like I would be better off alone. I feel like everyone would be happier and better off without me, I’m such a drag I’m no fun and I have no Idea why, if my day consists of nothing then I rather just sleep in bed and let the day pass by, I just don’t understand what I’m.going through
michael says:
I hate myself right now
Jamie-lee says:
I feel ugly and hearing from everybody even from my best friends that I’m fat judgemental and that I should go to a mental hospital and I hate myself every day because of it I cry in bed I cry at school I just feel like nothing….
Kayla says:
Emma don’t kill your self I have a friend named Emma and you are awesome you are awesome and pritty. Even though I don’t know you. Actually I might know you. My friend Emma’s last name is dupagne. That could be you. Don’t kill your self. It would be devastating.
emma says:
don’t worry, i’m not gonna kill myself.
i can’t because if i do it, then my family gonna be so upset and i don’t want it.
it’s just sometimes i feel like no matter how much i run, i never reach my goals. i’m tired of always being a loser, being lonely.
thanks for answering, honestly i reached a level of depression that when someone smile at me, i start crying because i can’t believe that actually people can see me.
Kayla says:
Don’t be sorry for existing. You are perfect the way you are.😄
Christopher says:
I thought if I threw myself in front of a car it would all go away but it just makes it worse so don’t be like me and get help
Norrin says:
I feel like I can’t do anything right. I should be happy, I’m in a stable relationship, but I’m in constant fear of screwing it up and losing her. It seems I can’t do anything without messing up somehow, and it’s really starting to get to me.
crystal says:
Sophie, I feel the same way. What is wrong with me? Shouldn’t I be happy?
someone says:
I’m a atheist i don’t think god exist because he did nothing for me and i would have started believe in him if he would made a clear sign because if he created us he know all about us and if he control everything he could do same with people he suposely control everything ya okay. anyway what i wanted to say was that im 12 and i dont want to suicide i would rather had another life not dying because when you die i thinks its just void .nothing. because i just hate my self i cant handle what i have to handle even do i know that in life i have everything i need like food money house and there people in the world who cant eat and would kill for food and have no house so what we have here is nothing compare to that because when i think that i hate everything about myself i hate that there are some people with worst problem then me and im complaining but i cant do nothing i dont feel like i deserve to feel great i just hate everything about me i dont see nothing that i can love .but maybe later in life if i do what i want to do ill be ok.i hope so.
Allen says:
I really can’t tell you exactly when I started hating myself but I know it’s been at least a year or so since I’ve felt satisfied in my own skin. Last year I went off to college and left all my friends behind and in an attempt to make new ones I joined a fraternity. Being a pledge was bad and I was told some things that made me reevaluate myself but I got through it. But now i feel like nobody likes me, nobody really asks me to hangout and at events I feel awkward and don’t know how to start a conversation. I’ve developed social anxiety which is something I’ve never had a problem with before. I feel like i don’t fit in anywhere, even with my old friends I left behind when I went off and reconnected with during the summer. I’m depressed and I hate myself and how I act now. I can’t go on like this. I need help.
John says:
I hate people and I hate myself. People like me they think I’m good looking, cute, funny, nice and I have good manners. I’m very polite to people and say and do all the right things. I detest people, I don’t like people looking, touching, or noticing me. I wish I was the only person in the world and I was all alone, I would love it. I hate myself more than I hate others, I think I’m a good person but I don’t like myself. I like hurting (emotionally not physically) I don’t think I could live if i didn’t hurt, it’s fulfilling and makes me feel good to hurt. I’m not depressed or anything I just don’t like people or myself.
TheHopeLine says:
Allen, thanks for being open and honest. Chatting with a HopeCoach can help bring clarity, insight, encouragement, and hope. We are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Steve Castonguay says:
Sometimes i wish i could just disappear. Its like i am meant to constantly fail, all people i know are getting something out of life in one way or another. Since childhood i had trouble with society in general, being called dumb, laughed at and rejected or tricked by absolutely all the girls i ever tried to get in my whole life. I analyse my life and i realize that i was never really successful at anything, i was diagnosed ADD when i was a kid, so i had to drug myself to appear as “normal” for other people, my academic life is also a total mess, mathematical skill of a retarded 5 year old (can’t even calculate simple numbers mentally), i became so discouraged at math i literally gave it up after a while. I don’t even have my diploma. I’ve wasted all my teenage life with a bunch of fake asshole who didn’t care to the point that they didn’t have any trouble in just leaving me in a ditch, drunk as hell while people threw empty bottle at me. And now the few remaining elementary school friends i have are leaving me behind for some reason i’d rather not know.
I can literally figure who would be at my funeral…..some family members, some “friends” maybe, but i know most people don’t even remember me at school, most don’t even know i exist.
The story of a socially anxious, retarded unlucky guy who’s just sheltering himself away from any social interaction until he wither and die without anyone noticing.
Unneededdfeelings says:
I feel tired. Worthless. Unhappy, despite my decent life. And I think it’s cause no one outside of my family has every called me beautiful. Not once. They never said anything about my hair, my eyes, nothing. And I guess I’m waiting for the person I need to hear it from to tell me (Im not mentioning his name) I am ugly, I am fat. Nobody can say otherwise, they know its true and I hate being lied too in such a way. and I hate this part of my life.
……..why won’t it go away
Jennifer Labrador says:
The worst part in suffering self loathing is that no one really understands. All our stories are different. And in my case I am extremely blessed, yet I feel I don’t deserve my blessings and I don’t want to procreate for fear that my spawn will suffer the same. The people I’m drawn to turn to for help have their own problems and I don’t want to burden them further with my pathetic issues. I liken my mentor, in some ways my savior second to Jesus, to Atlas with the weight of the world on her shoulders already. I feel it’s simply not fair to her to lay my problems at her feet. I’m certainly not suicidal. My mother left me that way. It’s just not in my being to do the same, but I feel her same desperation. Many doctors, therapists, psychiatrists have let me down. Where do I go? What do I do?
Rebecca Johnston says:
Why if i am a child of God do I suffer physically and emotionally all the time? I am ugly, worthless, always sick, cant help the household much. Praying brings me more bills. The lottery loses another $1. Rollercoasters are for fun, think mine is driving me into the ground. Is Lupus next? So many medical issues all the time, inc 3 highly rare ones. Uhg!
mark says:
hey guys , hard to explain how we all truly feel I think. but I’ll give it a go. I hate the way I look every time I look in the mirror and if it’s not my face then I seem to obsess about another part of my body . and then if Im not thinking about that I’m feeling like a failure in my working career. not sure how much more my head can take of this. I’m traveling atm and should be happy as Larry . I’ve just spent some of the best days of .y life with a girl I met hear but she has just gone back to Germany , now she has gone I’m starting to think loads of bad shit “I should have done this , I should have done that”!!!! I’m in a constant battle mentally and feel like screaming . I often think about topping myself but doubt I could ever really do it . do most people think about this ?? doubt it . feels good to write this down. best of luck people !! all the best . Mark.
Zar Pof says:
I just moved to a cool new location, lost 10lbs and still going, gained a new hobby and got a good house, all my needs and desires are met. however, I hate myself, no question, and since I can only see the world through my eyes I have it and everyone too.
What do you do when all your basic needs are met? You have no more needs just desires. What do you do when all your desires are met? You have no more desires, no more wants… what do you have? I can find nothing. Everything is nothing and I am everything. I hate myself, I hate everything. I feel nothing anymore, or very rarely at most. People don’t move me, books and movies do. I see someone get hurt, I might laugh but most likely I don’t care. Even when I am running toward them to help I truthfully don’t care about them.
My newborn nephew, started him a bank account, feel nothing toward. Move away from family, nothing. I pretty much cut communication with or had communication cut with all childhood friends, no longer care. I work hard at my job, I work hard at my hobbies. I lose interest in both, still do them. I feel nothing but still strive to accomplish goals with no rewards. Religion promises life everlasting, which I don’t want I want this all to stop, and science tells me how my hopelessness and hate is actually founded.
My lizard brain prevents me from self terminating much like Arnolds neural-net-processor did. But I still hope for the end soon. When it tries to take me though, I will fight it. Then when I still live I will hate myself even more.
Anil Saxena says:
Why I hate and punish myself. When things go wrong, I believe that some one needs to ne punished, I can not complain, punish and shout at God. i have decided to forgive everyone else. so where do i vent my agony anger. I do it on myself. I have no choice,
angelWUVSu1 says:
I dropped my mom’s favorite mug and had to clean it up..she got mad at me for not using correct safety precautions. When i was done i said sorry and she said, “Hmph” as i tried to hold back a tear.
Vince Gotti says:
Stop caring what others think and find out what your passion is and embrace it.
jenesaispas says:
I just feel like a disgusting human being for no reason.
Idk why I’m like ths. I just can’t like myself. I don’t want to like myself.
I feel like I don’t deserve it. That I only deserve to be unhappy and sad.
idon’t know what is it.
it’s like thinking happiness and love wasn’t mean for me and I should stop looking for it.
Dau Lee says:
I HAVE LOTS TO UPSET MY FAMILY ABUSES ME AND THEY BANNED ME FOR EVERYTHING FOR TWO YEARS FOR NOT DOING MY KUMON. They know that i love my life but its what they think not me i HATE MY LIFE
Yuliya says:
I am alcoholic and mother of 3 beautiful children..
I have everything to be happy, but instead I feel so unhappy and depressed at the same time.
Don’t love my husband, but he is great father..I don’t see any light ahead(( what is wrong with me?( I hate myself
Joshua nash says:
I hate myself still, I really think it’s the fact that I’m fugly becuase every time I ask out a girl (private or public)I get rejected I play a sport, but I’ve never dated anyone and I’ve asked everyone since 8th grade I’m now 18 I’ve never went to prom with anyone in 10th grade and I’m not.planning too this year so I think I should give up
TheHopeLine says:
Don’t give up! You have so many more years and places to meet people – like college or at a job. Chat with a HopeCoach about the future and find hope! https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Matt says:
I hate myself so much!!!
Bryan says:
God doesn’t care about me, he’s too busy with other things.
I tried so hard in life to get something, anything but I always end up on the losing end.
I read this blog and it doesn’t help me at all, I still feel empty and alone all I want to do is disappear.
Why can’t I find love? Why am I always the one being told I’m a great guy and I have great points about me but no one wants me…?
Why am I killing myself at work only to not be able to make a dent in my debt?
Things are easy for everyone else honestly, I will try exactly what they did and nothing good comes from it for me…
I wish I was never born or at least dead, I’m tired of all of this…
TheHopeLine says:
Bryan, We understand that you are feeling really down about yourself and that you feel all alone in this. You are not alone. We care and it may not seem like it now, but God does care about you. It sounds like you may be suffering from some depression. Have you talked to a doctor about how you are feeling? It’s okay to reach out and talk to a professional about how you are feeling to get you to a place that you feel better about yourself. Chat with a HopeCoach and we’ll help you take the steps to get there. http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp
Naw says:
You keep deleting my posts pointing out how predatory it is that you’re actively seeking out people who hate themselves and telling them they’ll feel better if they join your specific culty version of Christianity, and buy all your books. This is only proving my point.
vp says:
I know from experience that being myself drives people away. So I hate myself both for being a fraud and for the real me being unloveable
Megan says:
I hate myself because theres nothing special about me .i dissapoint every one i always mess stuff up its my fault i should try harder
Megan says:
I know this might not mean much but i hope you find joy you seem nice and im sorry for what happened to you all of it
TheHopeLine says:
Everything TheHopeLine® offers is FREE. All of the eBooks are completely free. Our chat line is open 24/7 for free. We are here to help because we care. Many of us have dealt with these same issues and struggles we write about and we understand how much it means to have someone to talk to.
Evilkitty says:
I hate myself…always have, the way I look, fat and ugly, a cow…the way I am, shy, quiet, insecure…I have no one at all and no ambition in life, everyday is torture, I used to be so nice, now I’m just a bitter, arrogant piece…I just want to die. I’m so tired, I’ve been struggling with an ED for years… I don’t go anywhere but work, I complain everyday, I want to travel and do things….art, but it’s so hard to get motivated when everything is worthless…I hate this society too, and evil, envious people, but I’m one of them too…I envy happy and beautiful people so much and wish they were dead and everyone was as miserable as I am, but I’ve brought this unhappiness on myself, I reject everything, shun people away I don’t care…But I really do, I want to feel like I belong somewhere for once.
TheHopeLine says:
Sometimes to helps to talk to someone. Our HopeCoaches are here for you 24/7 to chat online. All chats are anonymous and free. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Talenna Prine says:
I know just how Sophie feels and the girl up at the top of the page. I truly do wish I could be with Jesus instead of down here in this extremely cruel and unjust world.. I had in my mind that my children were in good hands nobody needed me anymore everything was my fault I was a horrible mother that didn’t deserve to have my kids again.. So the suicide attempts began I was in and out of the psyc hospitals 7 times so I was told from beginning of March 2013 – July 26, 2013, I was then made to stay. After 2 months of being there I was placed in a RCF for 2 yrs..
Hi says:
I am not sure where to go or what to do with myself. I hate myself everyday. I am a horrible person inside and out. I can’t change things in my life that has happened to me. My biological father physically, sexually, and emotionally abused my sister and I. I can’t stop the guilt of my sister getting it worst than I did because I am the younger one. I was in foster care most of my life. I put myself in foster care because around the time my uncle passed away I was living with my grandma and she turned into a raging alcoholic. She would make me stay up with her on school nights, and criticize me over and over. Just making pushing my further into depression. And make me go to school the next day without getting enough sleep. I committed suicide because I couldn’t handle the pain anymore. It was mostly a cry for help. When I was 13 I was really bad into drugs.
Elise says:
I hate myself because I know I’m too selfish to ever have real charity. Every time I’m doing it, even when I genuinely want to, there is a voice in the back of my head that is saying, “I don’t want to be here. I want to be at home. Alone. Away from all you people. I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE.” And, because of that, I know I can never fall in love because I’m too damn selfish. Somehow, people like me, and I want to scream at them and tell them they don’t know the real me; the real me doesn’t want to talk to them or even be around them. I would rather be alone. And yet, I am horribly lonely and want nothing more than to have someone to lean into at the end of the day, but it won’t happen because of who I am. That’s why I hate myself.
bye says:
i thin i’m gonna suicide at least you tried
Vicky says:
I want kill me becoz i hav not any talent nd im not so good in studies… nd im not so good i always ignore me
Emily says:
I am 15. I blame myself everyday for being raped and abused and my father’s drinking or my mom not thinking im gold enough.. I suffer from these things. Sure I may find myself ugly at times or want to do something bad but I honestly believe people only hate themselves because they blame themselves for the mistakes others made or they want attention that’s the simple truth of it . There’s no reason for anyone to hate themselves. I see it happen alot in highschool people give up on themselves or cut for attention or because they think it makes things better it doesn’t though..
Mystery says:
I hate myself cause im a girl i always feel bad 🙁 i dont have any confidence to go around because my chest and icant ask my parents about binder i hate myself and because im a tomboy everyone make fun of me when they know my chest is growing i hate myself i want to be a boy
Ippsjsj says:
I hate me I don’t know what to do I hate my past and probably my future
HELP
Sara Kelly says:
I feel detached from physical reality. I feel like I wasn’t meant to be here. My consciousness is slipping away. Everything, people, the environment look and feel fake, like everything is a simulation.
Lol says:
I hate myself because I have never ever been loved I’m 16 years now and nobody loves me I don’t know why I’m not ugly I’m tall 5’10 and slim I don’t know OMG what’s problem with me all my friends get boyfriend I just can’t. I haven’t kissed a guy yet. Can someone tell me why. I was thinking that the problem is my height but there are some taller guys than me why they don’t like me.
Kaylin&Beauty~Beast says:
Honestly, I hate myself to much. My mom doesn’t let me listen to Nicki Minaj and I am 11. She has made me depressed so I ignore her. I got to school without her knowing. I’m so sad. The worst part is when I cant listen to the clean version of cussing songs so I listen to hello kitty. SOMEONE HELP!
Doesntmatter says:
So I am very young yet I am 200 pounds and every time I hear any word having to do with anyone or anything that is big I get very scared they mean me or will compare it to me. No it’s not okay to be obese its unhealthy and I shouldn’t just accept it but I have tried to change it and for some reason I always end up thinking I shouldn’t have to or I’ll start tomorrow and yes I know its my fault. I’m not very funny, I’m ugly I have no talents and yes I have a small group of friends none of them know me I’m unlike all of them. Hidden afraid of judgment and being all alone. You may believe this is stupid but I feel I will never change and no one could ever possibly love me and it just makes me so unhappy and I don’t know what to do. I have always contemplated suicide but I can’t because its the easy was out and its ridding me of ever being happy.
rylee says:
i hate hate hate hate hate myself. i am disgusting. i hate who i have become. i am a liar. i am gross. i am used. and i am nothing.
Kathryn Mcdonald says:
What do you do when you can’t even support yourself? I am a good worker. a smart person – I started a PhD in mathematics. I try so hard . . . I apply for 3 jobs every day, and I can’t get work? I’m living on the streets. I have no money. I want enough to live off. How can I not hate myself if I can’t even find a way to live?
Dequan Johnson says:
I am coming from a vary painful past and a terrible childhood.I have been under control of my stepdad for 8 years as he beat me and locked me in my room,only to be out for school.I never really had much stuff no tv or electronics never really had a froend.However I recently moved to live with my real dad and everything is fine.Except I don’t know how to be happy and I’ve always hated myself with low self-esteem.I always thought I was ugly and stopped speeking.I fell like I keep screwing up with small things now and I can never sleep at night because of bad memories.I’m doing well and screwing up at the same time. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror when everyone says I look fine. I don’t know what to do.
casey says:
I’m sorry to hear that happened to you. It is very sad. No child ever deserves it. Your feelings are perfectly normal. That man made you doubt yourself-even when you did good things, you were punished constantly, so nothing was ever right. I hope you can look at a child at the age you were when the abuse started and see how small and vulnerable they/you are/were. Maybe then you can really understand who did everything wrong-the stepdad! Children are supposed to make mistakes to learn from, and should be met with kindness-not cruelty. I hope you can forgive just to get past it. You don’t have to forget. Forgiveness helps you, anger would only hurt you more-not the monster that was supposed to protect you. Talk to a good counselor. Not all are good-so if you don’t like the first one keep looking until you get a good one. Make sure to tell your Dad how you feel!
casey says:
I’m sorry to hear that happened to you. It is very sad. No child ever deserves it. Your feelings are perfectly normal. That man made you doubt yourself-even when you did good things, you were punished constantly, so nothing was ever right. I hope you can look at a child at the age you were when the abuse started and see how small and vulnerable they/you are/were. Maybe then you can really understand who did everything wrong-the stepdad! Children are supposed to make mistakes to learn from, and should be met with kindness-not cruelty. I hope you can forgive just to get past it. You don’t have to forget. Forgiveness helps you, anger would only hurt you more-not the monster that was supposed to protect you. Talk to a good counselor. Not all are good-so if you don’t like the first one keep looking until you get a good one. Make sure to tell your Dad how you feel!
Legond says:
hi I’m 18 years old and I cannot think of nothing else but how much I truely hate myself. I tried smiling through the pain, I tried talking to my parent but no one understands and I’m always a failure in my eyes and theirs and iItried the whole jesus bit and no matter what I can’t understand how someone loves me even when I not worth anything. I’m just tried and I want the pain to go away I just want everything to stop.
Life Sucks says:
My family says Im supposed to change the world one day by doing something great, but everyone thinks im stupid i can’t help by saying I hate myself. Im going through to much right now and I can’t take this any longer
Brent Evans says:
My girlfriend I have been on rough patch. Both feeling like we have no idea who we are, where we’re going, and what to even do with ourselves. She sent an inappropriate picture of herself to another man, hated herself for it because it was just a cry for help for me, and pleaded for me to stay with her. We worked everything out. We don’t hate ourselves anymore. And, somehow, our relationship has never been better… The way things work are weird. But, I don’t know how, but I couldn’t be happier.
graclynn says:
Hi if ur hearing this it means u have a life in 2015 I still hate myself and I’m nine any ansers reply.
Nathaniel Young says:
All of you. I’ve been where you are and I’ve been trapped in that place of self-loathing and hatred for years, but most of the issues are dealt with now. It is literally a miracle and half of it I don’t even know how it happened.
I think that the problem was that I was holding double standards for myself. I loved everyone around me but thought I could never be good enough for them because they were so amazing. But then I realized… they thought the same about me. I didn’t think they did but the problem was I was shutting down all the positive stuff they told me, and I was only trying to find negatives.
And if you think that nobody love you, you are wrong. Every single person on this planet is loved by someone. Sometimes it seems like nobody does because we just aren’t recognizing it, or they aren’t showing us in the way we need them to, but people love us. If you disappeared, trust me, people would be sad. And they are happy that you are here. If they aren’t then that’s they’re problem because of all of you are fucking amazing. Every 7 billion of you.
Love you all. Remember that if you’re hating yourself, you are the one thinking wrong. The truth is still that you are all so worthy of love.
Alex says:
I’m 22 now and I’m about to graduate college. Although I recognize that I have had many achievements and things to be happy about, I’m insecure and hate myself to a certain extent, depending upon on my circumstances and what happening in my life. I come from a traumatically dysfunctional and economically insecure household which saw my trust, wealth, and security shatter over time. Some things I recognize to be out of my control, but I still blame myself for not being able to hedge against it. I reflect on the past and see who I was at certain points, particularly in my teen years as being tragically dull, uninspired, and humiliating at how i embarrassed myself and the friendships that shattered my sense of belonging and connection to others. As I look forward to my future, I see it hard to find good work that will help me pay for what I need and get out on my own and head in a direction i’d like to see for myself. School has taken a bit long to finish but now I head out i find it hard to leave it behind since the transition from college to work is unclear.
Kurtus Stefanovic says:
I hate my life I’m 11 years old my dad always yells at me I have a feeling I’m going to military school soon, but its school and what I’m aloud to do that’s the problem! My mom says to stop acting stupped when I’m acting like myself which affense me because that’s calling me stupped and I don’t want to get told what to do and do it whithought having fun I got grounded about lieing about my homework yesterday but It is holidays and I still have to do homework even If I’m behind I should be able to have free time! I cant do anything, no video games, no PLAYING OUTSIDE, no making YouTube videos, no talking to my friends and I’m moving in about a month and I’m always grounded for about a month which means I cant say goodbye or anything else or play with my friends at that And I’m moving to Missouri! in a big farm and I’m homeschooled but I’m going to public school in Missouri next year, my dad said I cant go to my friends house or they cant come over so school is the only time I can meet anyone! My mom said she hates it when I hate my life but as my mom says the truth hurts but in my anger and rage “THE TRUTH HURTS”! Maybe you could just let me play with my friends and no video games, at least let me go outside! And my parents are so strict about my chores I do them slowly take my time clean the edges and under stuff (We have 4 dogs lots of hair) anyways and they say I half ass it! They say they love me and I believe them but I truffle don’t in reality!
Violet Jensen says:
It’s not that I have a bad life its just I never feel as if I do eniugh, I can’t seem to be able to find a job that pays enough to stay caught up on bills I’m not behind but its hard and then whenever I try help so.eone out it leaves me with nothing.. So then I need help and I end up where I am now sitting in my car feeling like I’m a waste of space and shouldn’t even be here. I starting g having a panic attack trouble breathing and I just don’t ha e the will to go anywhere with things I really hate who I am and I want to change but… I can’t.
Nightingale says:
I hate myself because no one ever gets me what I actually want. I always think it’s because of my behavior, even though I’m not being bad at all!
Nightingale says:
I sometimes wish that i could just disappear for a day and see what happens without me. My guess would be that everyone would not even care and even be glad that I am gone. How I hate myself and life!
Nightingale says:
: CURLS UP IN A LITTLE BALL AND STARTS CRYING QUIETLY IN THE CORNER WHILE NO ONE EVEN CARES :
Julia says:
Look outside, to the snow covered mountains,
We are more than hollow souls dressed as accountants.
Feel your heart beat in your chest,
That is not the sound of a monster or a pest.
Look yourself in the mirror, stare into your deadened eyes,
You are human, not an object or a prize.
When I was little, my parents divorced. It was messy, and my father suffered dreadfully from it. He tried desperately to get back on his feet, and he managed to get a basement apartment. He was into the whole conspiracy thing and as a child that really rubbed off on me. He basically destroyed the building blocks of religion, told me that my mother was a robot and she would kill me and crap. That everyone I loved was in on the entire alien plot. I was five, so I was really gullible. I didn’t know any better. I became paranoid. My mom was struggling to pay the bills and was so stressed that she would come home and yell at me and my bro everyday. I wouldn’t take a shower for months on end, didn’t know what brushing my teeth was like. Meh, I really didn’t care. I thought it was normal. I thought it was normal that my father threatened my mother with a knife. I smelled like smoke cause my dad smoked so much.
When I was older he asked for custody full-time. Of course I thought he was the good guy and agreed. My mother was furious, and the fact that her children’s names were on the paper sent her into a rage. My father died a year later from lung cancer.
My mom found a guy, and shes better now. Shes happy. My brothers leaving high school soon. Everyones gotten over it, except for me.
Self-harm and emotional eating are my life story, mixed in with the rough concoction of self-loathing. He died two years ago and ever since then ive felt quick bursts of nothing to intense feeling, and then back to nothing again. I feel like I’m losing all emotion, everyday is a new day where something good about me is stripped away to show something rotting beneath. Ive gone to four psychiatrists, all to no avail. I wake up feeling like at times my life is gonna end completely. Like my step-dad will die or my mom will die. I don’t talk to anyone because I know that my life has been no bif deal, that people have been through worse stuff so I just keep my mouth shut and fight the urge to drink that windex under the cupboard or close the garage door and turn on the car. It would be such a relief to the constant worry of yeah, something dreadful will happen. Two years of peace do not get rid of 12 years of watching life rot away.
I worry constantly about the environment, about poverty, about animal and child abuse. I try to do all that I can because I feel a little better when I do things that hep thiose causes but in the end all of my willpower comes crashing down with the realization that there is no point.
Basically, what has helped me with this is literally shutting down my brain, emjoying the beauty of this dying world, and trying to do all that I can with what I have.
MissK says:
I get it. I get the self-hatred. I don’t want to wake up. If it wasn’t for having a kid, I would make sure not to wake up. I do not want to be here anymore knowing how pathetic and worthless that I am, but also knowing that when my husband looks at me that is what he sees. And as he says – my son will see this too. Especially since I am not raising a “man” but instead a “toy”. I am so pathetic that I can’t even raise my kid properly. I hate myself and do not want to deal anymore.
Tdior says:
every single i tear myself apart, ill get high on anything and usually get drunk. i have no friends and my girlfreind has been cheating on me and i just found out. i try talking to other girls and they seem to absolutely despise me. everyone i have called a friend has either lied or stole from me. and i feel as if everyone is pointing and laughing at me or thinking to themselves that im an ugly ass freak. i have nobody i can talk to and my family will just laugh at me if i tell them. im also a dropout. which doesnt help me besides the fact i have accomplished litterally nothing in my life, i dont hate my life, i hate myself becuase i know people think im weird and that they hate me, but i dont know what i ever did to anyone. all i want to do is get high and go to work everyday, but even thats becoming a struggle because im tearing myself to peices every single day, i can never smile. i have to fake it for work as a cashier. but i dont smile in pictures, i dont smile if im somehow entertained. i just feel like an empty bag of skin. im starting to not care anymore, i dont care about anything. i dont wanna kill myself, but if i saw a semi truck going full speed at me, i think i wouldnt move and just stand there.
No one says:
I had a miserable childhood. Abuse in more ways than one. By someone I talk to every day, even now as an adult. Talk about messed up. I drink. I hate myself. Alcoholic. Functional but still, it’s going to catch up. I think I hide it but everyone knows. I despise myself. I have a 5 year old I love. But sometimes I just want it to be over.
pam says:
I dont hate myself but i dislike myself. Im very bad at talking to people i fancy. I get nervous and talk crap and then they think im weird
giorgio says:
Happens to me too. Nice to know I’m not the only one !
Connie Socia says:
I knuckle under to everyone of my in-laws
RG says:
No one has no idea how bad it is. My life has been one catastrophe after another. I can’t seem to get a break .
Alyson says:
I’m struggling… a lot.Everything should be fine. I just moved out of my parents’ home into a new one with my best friend and her boyfriend. I’m finishing high school. I was always taken care of. However, I am severely depressed. I cry on my way to school everyday. I cannot stand to sit there for 8 hours continuously anymore without having a panic attack, so I have been skipping the classes I don’t need to graduate. Everybody is telling me I’m so close to being done, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’m going to finish my last quarter at an alternative school, a place I never expected to go. I’ve been watching my school’s dance team and it only reminds me of when I was on it. I was so stressed with the whole weight of the world so I had to quit dance and now I have nothing left. I sit at home, go to school, and go to work. I try so hard to do things I used to love, but that just causes me to be stressed. It’s a never ending circle of pain. I don’t even have any motivation to do any of it at all. I’m trying so, so hard to feel better. I’m trying to do things that used to make me happy like my therapist and parents and teachers told me to do, but nothing is there. My father thinks I can just snap out of it but he doesn’t understand. I feel sick. People tell me there are people worse off than me, but would they say to people that have cancer to stop complaining because someone else has worse cancer than them?!? It’s like they don’t even want to understand. I feel like I’m dying. My head is spinning. I just want someone to understand. I don’t want to feel alone because if I’m alone, I have to spend time with myself and I don’t like myself. If I’m not alone at least I can pretend… right? I fear being alone but it feels inevitable. I’m typing this so hopefully I, or any other person, can understand, but my words cannot match my feelings. This isn’t about school, or dance. This is about me and how I hate me. I’m struggling to get out of this hole and the gravel is slipping through my fingers. I want out! To be or not to be… I just want it all to go away, I almost don’t care what it takes. I didn’t sign up for this. Why am I forced into it? I’m discovering deeper parts of me that I don’t like and I’m scared.
TheHopeLine says:
It sounds like you are really in a state of deep depression and we understand. This isn’t something you can just “snap out of” like your dad thinks. There is real help and we can connect you with the resources you need. We are here to listen and understand. Chat with a HopeCoach 24/7 for free – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Sexiladi says:
I hate myself and want to die
little me says:
I hate myself. I hate the way I look, the way I want to be loved, the way I can’t stand so many things like television, pop culture and movies. I feel tormented by everything I see and I wish I was so much more than what I am. I know I should be happy with what I have. I shouldn’t be unhappy because I have a roof over my head and food in the fridge but God I feel so alone in my heart. Sometimes I’m really glad I don’t have access to a gun because I think I might shoot myself if I did. I cry a lot a night when my boyfriend is asleep. We’ve been together for ~4 years but I feel like we don’t really ‘know’ each other. I don’t think he understands how much I need him to help me fill the dark hole inside my mind. I love him but he doesn’t love how sad I am all the time 🙁
I don’t like being sad either.
TheHopeLine® says:
That’s great! I am so glad it cheered you up! If you ever want to chat about it we are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
B dub says:
I seriously feel like my kids and family will be better off without me, I feel like all I do is let everyone down, and add to so much frustration, I tried killing myself 4 times, most recent as about a month ago tried to od on painkilers , i wish I could stop being such a failure i hate myself so much i just want to disappear even my own girlfriend i think she hates me and just has me around to tell me im wrong all the time
TheHopeLine® says:
I am so sorry you are feeling this way and it sounds like your girlfriend is a negative voice in your life. We are here to encourage and give you hope. Please chat with us anytime 24/7. https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ Please don’t give up.
Mila Fox says:
I’m 17, and stuck in school. Failing everything and everyone around me is getting a job or has a relationship and a car, but all I do everyday is work and never acknowledge any of the irrelevant information that is approaching me.
Recently, music had been the only thing that made me happy since everything else I have is rather broken, or unusable. People ruined music for me, and I feel like I’m going no where in life because I’m an utter failure who’s good at nothing, is failing in school (The one thing I’m supposed to be achieving something in), and I’m just generally unhappy and don’t want to be here because I feel like I’m a waist of space and make everyone miserable because I’m incredibly negative. People always tell me not to be, but it just really sucks when you see yourself falling deeper and deeper into a pit you can’t climb out of. I’ve tried to find a job around my town, but everywhere out here you rather have to be 18, or work in fast food, which I get sick around. I just don’t want to do this anymore.
TheHopeLine® says:
You CAN make it through this season of despair. You might be suffering from depression, which can make everything look like it has a black cloud hanging over it. Chat with us online and tell us more about your struggle. We are here to give you hope and to connect you with resources to set your life on a better path. We believe in you! https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Atosha says:
I just don’t know how much longer i can continue to feel the way i do. Ive never wanted people to feel sorry for me and i know that im not perfect and no one is. Just can’t continue to have these thoughts and feelings as i do. Why do i hate myself and my life so bad..??i love allv3 of my children just not myself. Its worse at times than it is at others
TheHopeLine® says:
I can tell that you are a loving mom, because of your love and concern for your own children. When we have had a difficult childhood sometimes having children can bring up a lot of emotions from the past to the surface (like insecurity, worthlessness, powerless). This is normal and there is help. Looking at the past from an adult perspective and especially as a mom can help you heal. The things that happened to you were not your fault. Please chat with us online to continue the conversation and to find hope and healing. You are on the right path! https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
m.w says:
I hate myself and i think im fat and try notto eat im 12 and i weight 125.4 im huge!!!!!
TheHopeLine® says:
That doesn’t sound like you are huge at all. I am sorry you are struggling with how you feel about yourself. Sometimes our self-image comes from negative people in our life, but it’s not the truth about who we really are. We want to listen and encourage. Please chat with us online anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Riley says:
I have some days where I’m happy but then I have days where I hate myself and I get bullied and think I should just end my life and I hate feeling this way but I don’t know what to do anymore
TheHopeLine® says:
Bullying is serious stuff and it can affect how you feel. Watch this video of someone who was being bullied and struggled with depression, but contacted TheHopeLine and is doing great now! We are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ There is hope!
https://youtu.be/9HXUao1tzmE
Jane says:
I hate myself I have no friends nobody seems to understand me even my mother seems to be stuck with me. Nobody likes me nobody enjoys my company I cannot even get the guy I like because am a pathetic loner… I honestly do not want to commit suicide but if I see the boat of death I would definitely be a passenger because am tired of living life or never mind I have no life no relationship and no friends…
Vadym Savenko says:
Im a 12 year old boy. Through most of my life, I always knew my family always hated me, maybe not my mother, but everyone else did. If I wasn’t even born, my mother wouldn’t break her arms. And whenever I pray or dream of something, the exact opposite happens. Literally, if I wasn’t born, life would be better for my friends, and other people, and me too. The only reason I actually went here is I’m tired of keeping that in my head, cause I eventually forget everything I need to remember from school. I’m 12, and I’m already fat. The only good thing in me was my intellect. But because of me being stupid, I introduced my self to video games, which ruined my grades, I try to stop every single day, but fail, for the only place my soul, and will are strong is in school, and when I walk, cause both my legs have infinite pain, not like for a day or week, but for 5 months already. So that off topic, just mentioned as part of my life. By the way, God never helped me, and as I said, I only have my soul and will in school, so I can’t do anything about,p that, for I try to finish all my homework and classwork in class, cause I know where I’ll end up, Friday homework detentions and last time I had it, they said I’ll get a suspension, if it’s school suspension, it’s it’s onw nightmare, but if it’s home suspension, mom’s gonna load me with work, which I must do, and I actually always try, and give 200% effort, but, for people like me, computer helps when I have stress, and with my middle school, almost high school sister, life is bad, so I have two people who ruin my life, me and my sister, and I tend to stay in my room, as to not ruin someone else’s life, which I do, and I only got one friend who has time to hangout with me, thought we have different interests, and I have many real life interests, the rest of my friends, either have better friends than a kid like me, or just pretend for the free candy I give out, thought I don’t care, so I only have I real friend, and a few video game players that actually care about me, and are interested about my life, unlike my family. And I got way more stresses, just to much for once. And sometimes comes the thought to jump off a bridge, ok, the last part is extra private, but I guess none of you are my school/class mates, or even relatives, so I’ll just say it, oh and please do t answer by telling it to someone you trust, cause I don’t trust my family, and my friends always tell it to one another. So the private part, I love a girl, actuall love, not just like, cause some will say you don’t know what love is, I actually do, and I fell worse than her when she has a bad day, cause I care for her, and as everyone knows, no one will like a person like me, so can anyone tell me a way to stop thinking of her, cause my heart breaks at the thought of never being with her. I won’t tell her name, cause incase someone is from my school, still those who know me might visit this, and they will know the girl.
Vadym Savenko says:
A little extra for my topic if it’s accepted, I hate myself for another reason, which is good and bad, I am to strong, actually, but not fast. I can withstand getting hit with a metal bar which my little sister found outside and played with, and “accidently” hit my head, and it barely hurt, and she always uses all her strength when she hits me, that’s the good part. But the bad part is when I get mad, I beat up the relative that makes me mad, might be me even, but once my dad did something bad to me, I became so red that I felt the heat on me, which happens a few times, and beat him so hard
Vadym Savenko says:
Oh and please do accept my comments, kids never did have right, even now, they have more, but still barely, and only adults or teens in later years, and when I do things like that, no one even accepts the comment, as to, when someone’s life isn’t good, they have to try harder to find a solution, and In all those years, asking the world is the only thing that ever works, but not ussually
astar says:
if there is biggest enemy of me in world than i myself is,,,,i always face rejection in life because of my peorsnality…my face…my structure…i feel like if God can do mistakes of making people like me than we r humans only we can also do mistakes in life … i cant share these things to anyone because no one interested in listing that…this is for people who thought that money is everything i am not poor but also i am not happy…rejection, lack of love and romance make huge difference….its all about priorty…i want love but my fate and my personality never alow me …i wanna say only that if we r all good loking perosnality and make gf than no one realise the value of feeling of low perosnality and ugly…thats why we.. low personality people r here in world…
AntiHappiness says:
Glade i m not the only one feeling this way, its been a while that i m looking for some how to release my depressed sad unhappy feelings , truth is i dont even know why i feel this way , having people who love me around me n still feeling alone !! Having an amazing husband and a baby but still feel like i m missing alot ! .. May be my too much overthinking n worrying n living for tomorrow instead of today is the reson of what i feel .. I tried to change myself but no success .. Dont know what should i do ? You know that feeling u get when nothing cheers u up not a gift not a nice dinner not flowers not a nice talk not an appreciation just nothing……..
Ibelieveinmysoul says:
I hate myself so much. I hate that my anxiety keeps me from things “normal” people can do with out a problem. I have not had a date in 18 years because of anxiety. I really wish I could just die and get it over with. I would not hurt myself but I really do wish I was not here on this earth. What for? To be miserable and lonely? I have tried antidepressants and therapy for years and it has not helped. Can not take antidepressants because the side effects are horrendous.
Jean says:
Just recently for a couple of months I have been self-hating. It has a lot to do
with childhood and present day problems that have accelerated with 4 deaths in
the family 2 cousins, 1 Auntie and the final straw; Father; all in less than a
year. I never was truly happy in childhood, nor in my teenage years, as they
were filled with ongoing rejection with friendship groups, my schooling was
failing also due to learning difficulties that would keep me at the lower end
of academic excellence. Learning was a frustrating – stressful = I don’t care
anymore; help was sought but was not often given. Then along came 2 friends
that did make me very happy and we spent more time out of school than in
school, that today I wonder how I even finish year 10 and year 12 of Junior and
Senior High. On the other hand, I also had a Mother at the time that was very
character destroying, she was verbally destructive calling me “stupid” and “dumb” and would get into a temper when helping me with school work. Tutors were expensive, family weren’t around all the time to help or didn’t want too. Education was a real struggle even in college, especially affordability. On the note of work, it has always been hard to find and I have ended up with temp jobs throughout my life even now at 40 years, which is just not good enough, that I see myself unable to pay rent or rates, that may land me living on the street in the future, though I’m on Centrelink payments. At least I’m single with no kids to drag them with me. My problem with work is inability to learn quickly, (I have to lie here that I’m a quick
learner) and many cases I land in hot water with staff because I learn at a
slower rate as others that gets me a lot of complaints at the beginning.
Generally, I suffer a lot of anxiety, fear and depression, especially since
we’ve become very isolated from friends and relatives. I think it is because
they think we are going to ask them for money since the death of my Father and
they have this attitude we can’t afford it or see them because I don’t have a
car. I think many of them are ungrateful we sponsored them to this country.
(Never sponsor people, they become ungrateful to you later on in life and
forget you!). I just feel so angry at myself and Father as he always in life
was such a alarmist over everything, but when it come to him at the end, it was
me alone fixing up his funeral paperwork and paying a lot of the costs which
ate up all my savings and left me with nothing in the end. I even had to get
money from my superannuation to keep us all going with life expenses. Life just
hasn’t been happy at all and I do feel it’s my fault, plus believe I can’t
change my environment or my circumstances, due to many things against me as
affordability, unemployment, learning difficulties and inability to escape a
dependent overbearing controlling Mother. I would love to own my own house, car and travel but their dreams unrealized that I feel will never happen.
Anon says:
School is tearing me down, im always fine when im not at school, but my best friend shes so pretty, popular, sweet, And smart she can make anyone laugh!! even if its just a random stranger (ive seen it before), shes always texting everyone from school making them laugh, going to parties, and just always smiling! Now me? Im the total oppisite im not popular at all im way to shy ( cant make anyone laugh really, never talk to popular kids, or just other kids in general etc), im not smart, im not pretty ( i can give you reasons for that if you rlly want to know) But as im typing this right now im on the phone with my best friend and her phone keeps buzzing getting notifications of all of these kids texting her, now as i sit here listening to music, no notifications, i have to suddenly mute myself to make sure my friend dosent here me sobbing, You might be lauhing at me right now because im really young and you might thnk that i have no problems in my life right now, but my friends and everyone are growing up way to fast and im being left behind and i dont know what to do. Im Just really lost, I dont even know why im SOO depressed about life, I Just basically hate me the way i look, how im to scared to talk to anyone at school, and how i cant just make someone laugh, I beat myself up emotionally everyday because of it! Im sorry if you think im just a silly girl that dosent know what depression or sadness is…Im sorry!
Me says:
I hate myself a lot and I know it is unlogical and i hate myself even more because of that
Kittenbiscut says:
I feel like a big burden to my family with nothing to contribute to society. And I feel like a waste of space on God’s green earth. Some people say we’re blessed with life but I say cursed is a better word.
Everyone probably hate me and judge me. I’ve always had thought of suicide but I’m to much of a coward do so.
NO says:
I hate myself, I feel like I´m the worst thing on this world. When I go to school and see people around, I feel worthless, like if they cost millions of dollars, and I barley cost 5 cents. Im ugly, very ugly, my siblings are always the stars, the cool guys in my familiy.. Im just invisible here. I wish I was like other teens… With a very nice looking, a clear skin, to have a bed to sleep and some real friends to be with. I want to die sometimes, but I dont do it, because i just imagine what I can cause on my parents, they dont deserve to cry for someone like me.
Jo Ann says:
I didn’t realize there were so many other people that feel empty. Most of my life I’ve been unhappy. I feel like a failure even though I have had many successes. I had great jobs which I screwed up. I do have a beautiful daughter who is brilliant and success ful but we “check-in” once a week. I can’t stop thinking g about failures, mistakes and meanness that has become the only thing in my life I think about. I’m not suicidal but if God would take me out of this world, the world would be better off.
Lana says:
I hate myself so much that I can’t bear myself anymore all the thoughts that is written by the people who hates themselves are so relatable for me I’m not good for anything and i know i used to be I dont leave home anymore I don’t look at myself too it’s so painful wish i was dead or can kill myself
LDSgirl says:
Hi…i have always had a hard time liking who I am, but recently it’s developed into a hatred. The more I think about my self loathing, the more I hate myself for hating myself. I don’t have any reason to hate myself. Sure, I don’t have anyone who understands me and is willing to tell me I’m loved, but it’s not like I live a life worth hating.
My mind is just a trapdoor leading to an endless downward spiral of me hating that I hate myself when many other people have such harder lives. My anxiety is the only thing keeping me from considering self harm or anything like that. I feel like the physical pain I go through 24/7 is something I deserve to suffer.
I know that God loves me, I really do, but I can’t stop feeling like he’s the only one. I feel like I need someone I can feel, someone here with me, to say they love me, and I never believe if it comes from my family or some older lady in my ward.
I really can’t even believe I’m posting this because i really have no right to hate myself as much as I do. It’s too hard to go through this feeling alone.
james says:
sigh
Aaron says:
Let me start off by saying, I hate myself and my life. I’m a 13 year old boy. I’m 4′ 10″ and I’m only 70 pounds, a runt if you will. The comments and ridicule have become to much for me to handle, why do so many people make fun of me over something I can’t control? I also, clearly, havent really gone through puberty. I fact many people can ll me names such as “paddle boat” suggesting I have a small, well you know, private part. And many more degrading names continue down the list. I pray for the day when I will grow and stand up to my bullies but i feal that day will never come. I’ve been in a deep depression for some time now. I find it amazing how fake smiles and joy can hide so much depression and sadness. I’ll be in 8th grade in 3 months, and I don’t know if i can make it through this next year.
Note: I’m not writing this for attention or help, just simply to adress this article with a real problem I, and I’m sure others are facing in their lives.
Aaron says:
This is Aaron again, what I just posted was fake, I did this to supply this website with a possible situation, not necessarily a real one
Molly says:
I don’t think God even loves me. Seriously. There is such deep hatred since childhood. I am socially unaccepted and I’m turning my 13 y/o into me. I wish I could disappear but I have too many responsibilities to just go away, so I’m trapped in a hell I can’t explain. Maybe this is why my brother ended his life.
Skitty the Dictator says:
I mostly hate myself because it seems like everyone else has everything at least reasonably together while I’m not at all. I can’t get rid of a simple swearing addiction (Saying “Oh my God” when I’m not talking to God and constantly saying swear words), I can’t follow the Bible for the life of me even when I try, and I just cannot get rid of my pansexuality. I know no one’s perfect but I’m as imperfect as possible. I just want to please God without lying to myself over who I am. If I can’t even change the way I talk or who I show romantic interest for in return for everything Jesus has done to make a way for everyone including me do get to Heaven if we follow him, why should I be allowed to even live? I should be cast straight into Hell.
Please don’t respond to this by saying I shouldn’t believe in God or be Christian. I’m not becoming an Athiest nor am I converting to anything else because I truly believe the truth of Jesus Christ. My problem is that I can’t repent because I’m too stupid and too sinful to possibly help people get to Heaven. It’s almost like I don’t have any self control. I’m not truly repenting if I’m not willingly trying not to sin. So the only options for me are to just wait to die so I can finally be thrown into Hell or just end it now.
sadaf says:
I think whatever I do it turns to ash! im suck at everything and I cant handle it anymore! I feel sorry for my mum and dad
i don’t know what to do any more and i really really need help!
The Darkside of the Force says:
All these people saying you are loved whether you know it or not. Its not true in every case. Here with me, I know thats false. I am hated by most people. Even family members say they hate me and they want me out.
I have had ‘friends’ who have plotted to kill me on many occasions. No one truly cares for me. The currents friends I have now, not the ones mentioned previous, arent that bothered about me. They always find something to put me down with. And when they need help because they have gotten themselves into a bit of trouble, they want me then. After that they just push me to the side.
The only person who ever truly cared for me was the closest friend I ever had. She had told me one night that she loved me more than she has anyone else. The next day she comes to me and says that she is interested in someother guy. To this day she still claims she has no feelings for me.
This just goes to show all these articles are wrong. Not everyone is loved.
John says:
I hate myself because i feel i dont deserve what i have. I am told i am lucky by family and have everything i could ever want but i am not happy. Its not that i want more because i dont, and i would never ever ask for more of anyone else, i am just not happy. I fake smiles everywhere i go (known as the person who always laughs and is always happy) but even after a long time of faking it until you make it acting doesnt cut it anymore. I also will not tell ANYONE because i know how rare happiness can be amd i dont want to take them away from theirs. The stress im under is a million times worse then my siblings and they admit that it is too. My mom expects me to be perfect in everyway. I brought home a grade of 98 and went overjoyed to show her and instead of receiving a good job i got a long talk about how i needed to “strive for perfection” versus when one of my siblings got a 90 (in a easy class) my mom was overjoyed and gave them praise. I cant sleep at night, i told my parents and they said to close my eyes and ill be fine. I get on average 5 ours of sleep and spend about 4 hours trying to fall asleep every single night, and when i do sleep its nightmares.The chores, expectations, problems, and stress break me down inside and i cant help but feeling like:
wow, whats wrong with me?
I have a desire to be smart, to be strong, and to most of all, to be happy; I can never get there if what im facing wont leave me be.
Cait says:
Feel no one cares I walked downstairs in front of my family cuz they kept yelling for to come down I walked down eyes swollen have red all over my face because I’ve been crying in my room no one cared or paid attention to that matter I feel like a mistake been holding this in in for years and it finally comes out at once at the worst time. I just want it to stop because I’m to weak to kill myself. If tried to but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve been left behind by friends just please some tell me one good thing I should do should I run away? Idk I read this blog but it’s not helping me I want a new life but maybe running away would be to risky should I just wait till I can move out?
Anon says:
I am still very young, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t felt self hatred. I try hard, but the world around says it’s not enough. I know, deep inside I am enough. That doesn’t help. I contemplate life and death for most of my free time. It is a delicate and strange thing. I have been slowly getting better, focusing more on life and my blessings. Hopefully, the world will decide that we can lose the labels.
–Someone who Cares
Natasha says:
hi everyone
i have felt like this for years now. was a loner for many years, got involved with the wrong men, had haters on the job and life just spiraled down. subsequent to feeling bad about myself i made lots of very bad choices on and on. i would always tell myself my mother didnt love me or she favored my brothers to me, and that did not help ,my self image. had lots of financial stress and actual rejection from her as a result of my actions in some instances and never made amends with her before she died. now i feel worthless and hopeless. i have no joy no hope no drive no passion no motivation. i ask god to end my life often and then i drink lots of sodas hoping my kidney will fail or something else will end my painful existence. life is not easy. the only thing i have to say thanks for is im workin now when i hadnt been for many years. family didnt care. i keep existing when i dont want to and i dont have friends that i can really share my ups and downs with. im afraid to open myself up to new people really so i put up this hard shell and act like i dont need anyone when my hallow empty soul is crying and dying for some help and hope and happiness. i just keep waking up and putting one foot in front o fthe other. i wish i had the courage to end it all but with my luck i probably wont even do that right and end up maimed or crippled or a vegetable. god help me i need something to live for. i have no man no kids no life and i truly dont want to be here becuase i cant stant to look at myself in the mirror. why wont god take me. why leave me here to suffer like this. any help or advice is welcomer.
Michelle Palmer says:
No you can’t let yourself feel like that! I want to form a group where we can all talk in person. Technology taking over the world isn’t helping any of us. I’m contacting the creators of this site, the hope line. You don’t want your kidneys to fail I work at an infusion center where people get chemo every day I ask how they are doing and they tell me they are blast I don’t understand this as chemo kills every cell in your body but they are fighters and believers
Beth says:
I have an awful family besides my mom and dad’s gf, I have uneven eyes, I have no true friends, I grew up too fast (not medical), I can’t eat healthy as I love sweets, I hate my hair, I cry multiple times every day, my family doesn’t have much money, my parents are divorced, my fake friends and family always put me down, and I end up living most of my life in my bedroom. I hate myself🤐
Fran says:
I hate myself. Just saying that makes me a little bit nervous because I think people will think I am just crying out for attention. Or that the only reason I say it is so they can call me pretty. But the truth is, is that I don’t even believe them when they say it. It actually annoys me because I know they are lying. I hate every. Single. Thing. Nothing is right about me. Not one thing. I wish there was at least ONE thing I liked. But no. My hair is frizzy and hard to style. My eyes are dark brown. My eyelashes are short. My nose is a weird shape. My lips aren’t big enough. My teeth aren’t white enough. My ears are too small. My hands and feet are too big. I have a very flat figure. I am not social enough. I am not funny enough. I am not smart enough. And the saddest thing is, is that I will never be any of these. I will Never live up to the expectation I want because it’s impossible. And that’s the saddest part
Lilian says:
i hate my self and i want to die because of my action in the past and how that affect me in the future i wish i could be someone else or be younger to avoid those action , i hate my self for the one i love and still with him till now and every morning i wish i could leave him but i cant i feel like he owns me and i cant run from me and if i run i will face the unknown destiny for my relationship with him.
d says:
I don’t know what I do wrong but no one wants to be my friend. I am completely alone and I hate myself. Maybe is I could just be like everyone else then I could integrate myself into society. But no I am this strange being and in hatred I shall rot.
Noneofyourbusiness says:
Thanks for trying but I don’t believe in god.
Wilson says:
I just wake up finding I don’t want to live.All the people around me don’t care and don’t talk to me sweetly.For many hours and days I even haven’t open my mouth to talk except eating food and drinking water.Every day you should be punctual and come regularly to work.I can even feel the loneliness in my heart it is like melting and breaking to pieces.After working hard in the day feeling fatigue.No rewards no gratitude no appreciation no buddy to talk or make fun by sharing our experiences.At the end I feel like to blame my parents for having me in this world.But they are no more and I have to continue with my rustic life till the end
Dennis yasembousky says:
this is pointless, I don’t want someone to talk me out of it, I need someone to pull the trigger
Sarah says:
I have no family I’m homeless now and my moms heart is being monitored because of me
TheHopeLine® says:
We are here for you 24/7. We want to help with practical resources. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Ravyn says:
I don’t know why I hate myself… I’m too young to hate myself but I do .. I feel as if I have no one to talk to .. I’m alone and no one can hear me cry .. Because I won’t let them see me cry… I think I’m ugly all the time I have these moments when I feel pretty but i know I’m not … I’m super skinny and everyone tells me that I should eat .. But if I eat to much I feel I am going to be fat … I have not a lot of friends .. I push everyone away by being annoying or that Wat everyone says .. I also feel like I’ll never find anyone to love me like I would do to them …. I have 6 siblings 4 live with me 2 live with my dad .. In both houses I feel like everyone hates me like my mom doesn’t get anything … I feel like my mom is always let me down .. I feel like I’m crying more and more lately and it won’t stop … Also my family tells me I’m going to be miserable when I get older because of the kinda person I have become . Since I feel like I’m constantly being rejected o have been being overly mean .. And I have a big heart … I just want to love everyone but I can’t honestly love any one else when I don’t even love myself .. I honestly just want to give up .. And try again in another life … My grandmother also tried talking to me once and I told her that I didn’t want to turn out like my mom with 5 kids and can’t keep a boyfriend… I love my family it just myself I don’t … And I’m so tired of crying this is in all honesty my last resort … I am so ready to give up …and only to be 15
Omar says:
Hello,
A thoughtful article about the subject. It sheds some light on some of key points that can help left me up or reflect. I reach to this site while searching Google under the subject “I hate who I am”. I don’t hate my-self! I hate the way I am. I can’t catch all the points that support this feeling. When I write something concerning the situation, something else jumps into my mind. It looks like an endless process! This attack on my-self should be stopped. It is not me who fires on me! I think I need a support of someone. Someone knowledgeable/ a specialist. At least to help me nail down those disturbing thoughts/ opinions/ feelings, figure them out clearly, arrange them and get rid of them step by step as per their effect and contribution to my situation. The article need to be read frequently. Thanks for sharing this article with us :).
Michelle Palmer says:
I think most people these days need to seek out professional help. Like see a psychiatrist or physiologist. I did. There’s nothing wrong with it
howtohope says:
I am a 15 year old student. Since my early years i have been told by my dear ones that i am a girl full of talents and potentials. i guess that is true, too. But the thing is that i can’t concentrate on my studies AT ALL! As a result, i am not as good a student as i was(and should be). I stay in front of the books all day, not getting anything in my head. I am intelligent in cases of problems, but what use is talent if not supplemented by work? Since i stay fixed at my place all day, i also dont get to do any physical activity, and hence i am very fat (so ugly looking). I know i can change all this, but i am so depressed that i just cant get myself moving. I get so depressed and a majority of my time gets wasted on crying. All i want is to hibernate for something like, oh, 30 years maybe? I know this is really a pathetic state of mind. Some help maybe?
Jason says:
find that one thing you are good at and concentrate on it, forget about the rest. be happy with just one thing and it’s a step in the right direction. the rest should just fall into place as it will, not always as you want it to be. if all else goes you will at least have that one thing. mine is cooking. as much as I hate myself and as bad at things as I think I am, I have cooking. I am good at it and it’s the one thing I have that I am happy about. You just need that one thing
Hayden says:
I wish I knew what was wrong with me, but in the mean time I’ll point to my ability to look down on the worthless piece of garbage I’ve made myself out to be. I have a decent life, the first seventeen years haven’t gone so well and I’m turning eighteen next month, but I can’t help this feeling that everything I want to change never will, and we’re all just these insignificant tiny beings in this world that is so much bigger than us ourselves. And the more I think about my life and how shitty everything seems, the more everything I’ve been forced to go through seems life I joke.
God, I just made myself cry while writing this…
Vivian says:
I hate myself and I cry everyday cause I hate life soon I won’t be here to even cry anymore …….
Lori says:
I hate myself. No one cares
Michelle Palmer says:
Why? Why would any of us actually make the decision to hate ourselves? There are so many other people out there to hate. My neurotic co worker who literally watches my every move. It’s time for us to stand up for ourselves. It may sound dumb, but it’s true. I’m sick of Hollywood and Facebook depicting who we are supposed to become, when in reality we are all so different. Life is hard. It can suck. Actually, nobody tells you this but I can suck most of the time. Getting through it is what ultimately matters. I don’t want to sound preachy because I have been work all of you have been but why judge yourself so harshly? Negative thoughts can absolutely consume you, but push them away. You can do this through god that is what I have learned and I’ve learned it the hard way
TheHopeLine® says:
This is one of our partner resources – http://beneaththeskinonline.org/ – Like you they are passionate about getting away from technology to have face-to-face time. When you chat with a HopeCoach we can connect you with them.
GracieChristopher Cranberry (M says:
I’m 10 and in 5th grade and I honestly wish I could just disappear, everyone would be happy that way. They all stare at me and whisper about me at school, the group of sporty kids told me I was a “worthless nerd” as well as my 24 year old brother teasing me at home, he threw a Dr. Pepper at me once and it ruined my shirt… but those people are correct. I’m ugly as heck, I’m hotheaded, my mind is twisted and dark thoughts often haunt it, my personality is terrible, my singing is terrible, people laugh when I get hurt.. I cry easily and I do it in front of people in school, I have bad migraines daily, people push me away when I hug them (I’ll never hug a person ever again, no one wants one from me), I can’t suck it up, and I know I’m being pitiful..
I just can’t.. I don’t know what to do.
Wolf of Eden says:
A lot of people love and support me. Hardly anyone has ever shown hatred toward me. That’s never been the issue for me. I honestly don’t understand why anyone loves me. I don’t really even fit this. No one tells me negative things about myself. No one is standing there telling me I’m ugly or stupid or worthless. No one has ever told me that. No one (that I can remember) has ever told me they hated me. I am the true definition of being my own worst enemy. Anything negative I have ever thought or believed about myself has come from my own head. I look in the mirror and hate myself. I watch YouTube and I hate myself. I’m never good enough for myself. I magnify every wrong thing I do and tell myself I’m worthless.
I’m currently in therapy, but have been avoiding talking about this. Whenever I do talk about this, I speak in a very matter of fact tone, for the most part (is that strange). I seem to constantly find reasons why I’m a worthless f*ck up who can’t do anything right and fail to see any positive aspects in myself that I truly believe or want to believe. It’s almost as if I want to hate myself, as if I find myself unworthy of being a good person. “I’m nothing special. Why does anyone else think that?” “Why does anyone care?” “I don’t matter.” “I shouldn’t matter.” are all examples of my self-talk. I know it probably sounds concerning, but it’s the truth.
Also, I realize that I probably sound like a whiny little baby right now, but that’s honestly not what I’m trying to do here. I’m really hoping for some type of anonymous advice. Perhaps?
Kayla Miller says:
Honestly I hate myself so much I can barely function. I can’t even look at the mirror. I feel so ugly, fat, worthless, stupid, pathetic, empty, annoying, weird, unlovable. I can’t do this anymore. I’m constantly looking and I see all these girls who are prettier than me and skinnier with the worse thing body and face. The perfect life. I wish to be someone else. A pretty girl with these perfect pearly white teeth and beautiful long hair with gorgeous eyes and body. Everyone’s saying that these models aren’t as pretty as they look or don’t have that perfect body but i don’t believe it. I want to die. I’ve been praying for God to kill me. I can’t fucking do it anymore. More then a few times while crossing the street and saw a car coming I’d actually hesitate in moving out of the way.
I hate me says:
I hate the way I look. Im dumb and horrible at math. No one cares about me. (Atleast I feel that way) I have so many issuess with my body…
Emily says:
I hate everything about myself.
I’m still in a secondary school, and i always feel judged.
My dad and everyone else say i’m beautiful and all i see if a failure.
I need help..
I’m sick of feeling liek this, i’m sick of being me.
Anonymous says:
I just can’t help but feel like a failure. I feel as if everything I do is wrong, and everything I touch will break. It started with my parents, telling me to my face, I’m a failure, a burden, and the family would be better of without me. Eventually, I started to believe this to be true. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m also afraid to enjoy myself, because I feel something bad will happen if I do.
me says:
i hate my life. my parents make fun of me, but dont even realize it. I started trying to kill myself in 7th grade, but never attempted. I’d stop for some reason midway, always hoping that something better will happen. i’m now in the beginning of 9th. I dont let anyone see me sad. I try to keep a happy face at school, and dont tell people anything. But i’m clearly depressed. I dont even know completely why, but i think its because i’ve been told that if I died, no one would care. I hate it. The feeling of being worthless, and I can’t stop being sad.
TheHopeLine® says:
Have you been able to talk to your parents about your depression? It’s important that you reach out and tell someone. There are many things you can do to help your with depression. Please know that you are not alone in how you are feeling. There is hope and there is help. We have a free ebook you can download for help in understanding depression at http://info.thehopeline.com/depression-ebook. A HopeCoach would love to chat online with you to help you with this at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp
Kayla says:
What i dont understantld is how some people seem to have no issue with life. And then theres me who whenever aomething bad happens big or small sets me off into a downward spiral. Not sure of its just me but i feel like im an awful person. Even with the best intentions people hate me for everything. Im pathetic, worthless, useless. I always think how much better off everyone would be without me here. If i wasnt here there would be no reason to dispise me or misinterpret everythig i say or do. I wish there was a better way to end these feelings. I want to change. I want to be finally happy. But its impossible with theconstant reminders that i am not worth anything
TheHopeLine® says:
You ARE worth something. It sounds like maybe you have surrounded by some negative people. Leet us listen and encourage you. We are here anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/
stoney says:
Hello. I am a 19 years old girl. I suffer from mood swings. One second I am feeling happy and the other second I am totally depressed. I feel empty. For many years I have been hating myself for being this way. I am not at all consistent. I want to do something in life but I cant find myself ambitious enough to achieve any thing I like. I feel envy of every second person in my life. I am always whining and feel so down. Although I have been told by many of my teachers that i am a bright student yet I don’t know how to “want” to do something I like. It feels like i have lost my ability to love people and have become too self centered to be happy. —Envious.
Anonymous says:
I am 14. I hate myself. I suck at school, I lie, and I feel like no one loves me. I feel drained, empty. I accepted Jesus into my heart a few years ago, but now I feel like He’s abandoned me. I have suicidal thoughts every night and it is so exhausting trying not to give in. I feel like I can’t help my family enough (we are broke). Can anyone relate to me? I need help badly, but I can’t let my parents know.
Sara says:
I suffer from PMDD. I hate what it does to me and what I become. The damage it causes. Its not fair. And there’s no help out there because no one seems to care. I just want it to go away. I’m tired. Its so tiring. I hate me. Because this is me. I hurt people and yell and get angry. I can’t be normal. It’s so alone. I push my family away to keep then at a distance. They are better off. It was so stupid to think I could have what I truly wanted. Howbstupid to think that it was for me.
Ms Social says:
Hi i am a 13 year-old girl in middle school. I woudnt say I hate myself, I just am insecure and unhappy with myself. Not necessarily because of my looks, although thats not even great (I am short, flat, and not very pretty) but more of my personality. I am shy. I am not good at being social and keeping a conversation with people I don’t really know or a boy I never talk to. When I do talk, I feel like everything I say is weird and that they will somehow judge me for it. So many people around me, whether they are my friends, classmates, or even family members are so outgoing and are known and liked by everyone. They always know what to say and how to react to people and things. I don’t. I just wish I could be “Ms Social” and be friends with everyone but I don’t know how. Sometimes I tell myself its just a phase and I will become more outgoing as I grow up, but thats not very comforting. I just wish I could change and be more like other people naturally. Everyone always says “What matters is on the inside, not the out” but what if what is on the inside isn’t even that great? Then what?
I know this isn’t as serious as other people on this website but it still feels good to write my feelings that are 100% genuine and hopefully get some replies. Thank you.
holly venderley says:
Just from reading what you wrote you definitely don’t come across to me as weird or an attention seeker. I’m holly I’m a sophomore in high school and I battle with depression and social anxiety. Although I hate admitting I have a little bit of social anxiety, it is nothing to be ashamed about. Many times anxiety is a chemical imbalance that can be helped by taking medication. I honestly think you may have what I have. I used to never believe that I had depression/social anxiety and would always blame it on myself. But having anxiety/depression does not define you. It is a separate thing from what you are that can be helped with medication. But if you don’t have depression or anxiety, what you are going through is completely normal. At 13 I’m sure no one considered me “weird”, but I did always feel like that. But if you think about it, no one looks back on middle school and thinks about all the great times they had. That’s normally high school or college. So do think like you’re missing out on much. Also, your personality changes and develops all the time. If you don’t like who you are now, don’t feel like you have to be stuck with the way you are forever. But at the same time, be happy with who you are. Even if you wish some parts of you were different, always be happy at where your at at that moment. Lastly, just because some people are more social or talk more, doesn’t mean they are liked any more than you are. I know plenty of people who are quieter that have tons of friends, maybe you just haven’t met the right people yet. Hope this helps!
Jasmine says:
i hate myself. It started when my parents started to lose trust in me everytime i mess up even one grade i feel like i cant do anything right i hate myself it’s the only thing i know about myself
disqus_2WE5eZrg16 says:
I hate myself, not because of society or perception (though I don’t particularly like how I look), but because I just have a terrible personality. I’m petty and vengeful and mean. I’m paranoid and I overanalyze every detail and conversation. I have high standards, both for myself and for others, which means I am exacting and overbearing and difficult to work with. I bottle my emotions and compress them into apathy or anger toward other people. And I am awkward and antisocial and terrible at small talk or social situations. I’m an all-around awful person to be with in general.
Natty says:
What I deal with is and have for about 4 years (ever since I started all these schools where there is popular people.) I was always in the popular group, but I was always the outside girl, the follower that made everyone else look better. And now how I feel like is that everyone is special and everyone is different and funny and I’m just boring and quiet. And I just feel like I have to be special and I have to be someone else because I’m too boring. So then I try to talk like them, and act like them, and of course it doesn’t work, and I feel like everyone would be happy if I wasn’t there, and I just feel like I’m awkward and not funny. It used to be different, I don’t know what changed. I guess i always got rejected and I wanted to be the cool one that people tell everything to and that everyone wants to talk to. It’s still like that, and I don’t know what to do.. help, I don’t know how more I can last like this.
Raymond Wilson says:
I need to let my feelings out:
I hate my name
I hate that my relatives get everything
I hate that I’m not that pretty
I hate that I don’t have normal parents
I hate that my hair is ugly
I just CAN’T say it out loud for some reason!
I don’t have anybody in my family that understands me as old as I am
They don’t understand because I don’t speak up
I don’t speak up because they won’t get me
Nobody understands me
Now hat I see other people on this website, they might have the same feelings
So you guys might get me!
Maskaoz says:
Im 17, according to everyone else these feelings dont go away? Great.
Alx says:
I’m a counsellor, and I can’t even get myself out of this self hate, feeling worthless & unloveable. I try to be positive, I practice gratitude, I exercise, eat well, but still I feel like I don’t belong in the world. Also sick of people telling me to be positive, life’s not that bad, move on, next, today is a new day etc etc I’m also a wife of an alcoholic with his own issues & have 2 children that I’m so worried they will end up like me! I wouldn’t wish this on anyone especially my children
TheHopeLine® says:
There is hope and help. Those feelings can really go away. Please chat with a HopeCoach – simply click on the “chat now” button. We are here for you 24/7.
Ashish Paka says:
I’ve attempted to cheat in an examination…. now after I am caught I hate myself…my parents had to apologize to the concerned authorities….I felt like killing myself…the incident replayed over a bazillion times… every time showing the inner me how all the more stupid I was….my parents say I am a disgrace with tears rolling down their cheeks….if anything I have to prove….I have to say that I need a way to pick myself up first…and then prove it to everyone what my real potential is
thatsad17yearoldgirl says:
i hate my life i hate myself i love my family an dthats all that keeps me going but i am sad everyday and if i end my life wich would make me happy, it would make he ones i love unhappy so i feel i cant do it and n one wants me to. my counsellors tell me not to and advise safe self harm but i dont honestly care anymore im sick of being sick im tired of being tired and im done with dissapointment. i dont wanna wake up in a morning so why should i? who says i have to get up and go out to college and work and religious meetings and see friemds? i know there was a time i wanted to and i devoted my life to these things and brought pleasure to my god, my friends and family. that made me happy but now i dont want to. i want to do what i want to do and i know i cant and i shouldnt so i dont want to live through this mental conflict anymore i cant be bothered. i dont want to do aything but sleep. when i sleep i dream and i get away fromy real life and real problems i fce and issues i have to endure. i know i have anxiety and depression maybe something on top oof that but i dont care theres no ecxuse for my thoughts and behaviour now. i am ruining my famly life and upsetting my friends and everything is my fault. theyd be better ooff without me and ive felt like this for 3 years now and every time i have tried to pray or better my self and fix my life or even end my life it never works i just wake up sad and tired and alone. i dont want to put up with this cycle anymore. leave me be. what do i do? do i keep tying? keep going? and one day life will be better? heard it all before. it never lasts. people always let me down and i disappoint others as a result. if i wasnt a part of this worl anymore sure it would be hard at first but everyone would get over it and forgt eventually. so i should go and do it now. 4 times isnt enough is it? i cant even kill myseelf well. i am useless at everything. what is the point of my life? when all i do and am good at is bringing negativity to those i love?
thatsad17yearoldgirl says:
i hate my life i hate myself i love my family and thats all that keeps me going but i am sad everyday and if i end my life wich would make me happy, it would make he ones i love unhappy so i feel i cant do it and n one wants me to. my counsellors tell me not to and advise safe self harm but i dont honestly care anymore im sick of being sick im tired of being tired and im done with dissapointment. i dont wanna wake up in a morning so why should i? who says i have to get up and go out to college and work and religious meetings and see friemds? i know there was a time i wanted to and i devoted my life to these things and brought pleasure to my god, my friends and family. that made me happy but now i dont want to. i want to do what i want to do and i know i cant and i shouldnt so i dont want to live through this mental conflict anymore i cant be bothered. i dont want to do aything but sleep. when i sleep i dream and i get away fromy real life and real problems i fce and issues i have to endure. i know i have anxiety and depression maybe something on top oof that but i dont care theres no ecxuse for my thoughts and behaviour now. i am ruining my famly life and upsetting my friends and everything is my fault. theyd be better ooff without me and ive felt like this for 3 years now and every time i have tried to pray or better my self and fix my life or even end my life it never works i just wake up sad and tired and alone. i dont want to put up with this cycle anymore. leave me be. what do i do? do i keep tying? keep going? and one day life will be better? heard it all before. it never lasts. people always let me down and i disappoint others as a result. if i wasnt a part of this worl anymore sure it would be hard at first but everyone would get over it and forgt eventually. so i should go and do it now. 4 times isnt enough is it? i cant even kill myseelf well. i am useless at everything. what is the point of my life? when all i do and am good at is bringing negativity to those i love? im stupid i am useless and not worth anything. i should go die in a ditch somehwere i wouldn make a differenc to the world i live in. life is hard and i cant cope. i am not good enough for wht i have. i dont deserrve nything
Sam says:
I always felt good about myself for most of my younger life, up until I reached the 9th grade. I dealt with it for years, never wanting to release my pent-up emotions. I felt empty, worthless, like I could never accomplish anything, despite my many achievements that year. I didn’t know what to do, and I was bullied mercilessly. The only thing I had to escape it was books, but there was a limit to that as well. I could only buy books, seeing as I couldn’t rent out books from the school library, and I never had much money. I had nothing to release me from never-ending torment. And it only got worse from there. I still struggle with it today, as a senior in high school. I still can’t tell anyone about it, either. I just wanted it all to end.
Forth says:
I hate myself for no real reason I tried to get help twice but it didn’t really help at all. Also I’ve been slowly becoming dependent on drugs to find some sort of happiness.
Monica says:
I hate myself because I do everything wrong. I make others get disappointed for even knowing me, I always complain about things, I’m always negative. I made my own sister hate me. I get physically hit when I say something stupid. I get told I have no brain. I hate my life so much I always wish I was never born. My life sucks so bad I wish I died. It’s sucks so bad when no one wants to b near you. I have no friends I’m usually with my sister at school but now I think I’m going to be lonely. I always act like I am happy and positive but little do people know I wanna die. I always think about suicide but I’m scared that if I try I won’t succeed and people and my family will know I tried killing myself and put me in a mental hospital or be ashamed of me. I just wish that I died. Like instead of someone who has a life to live for die I wish I died instead of them. I can’t live anymore.
david says:
i really do hate myself, im ugly, a little fat, straight up cringey, i dont have many friends, i have a problem with not sleeping, i dont know why my friends even like me as a friend or treat me the way they do, they are just so nice, thats why i dont have many friends, because there is not many people in this world who can be nice like them, i just wish i could be in heaven or something or at least restart life with no memory of this one.*sigh* 🙁
lishay says:
I hate myself cus I fail so much
I just act in a stupid way
I make other people hurt and I keep breaking promises…
no one cares about me… me neither
I’m just a stupid piece of $%@*
Catie says:
here is a thing from me and a message from God that i will copy
when your hurt or sad or depressed come to me i care for you i have put my life on risk i was born in a stable named by angels and i Jesus God belive that you can do anything Hers something from me
if you feel down and you cant hold yourself up its best to think about something amazing or something you would like to do in your future or family friends (just maybe not passed on ones) i hated my self for every reason i thought i was hated by everyone i met i thought i wasnt made to be here i thought i was ugly and uwanted sometimes i just wanted to have a knife and go to someone who cared and someone i knew My parents and sister have always helped me and i am very thankful for that please know that you are perfect and dont let anbody hold you down beacuase you are the only one who can get up so next time you are down know that God cares and your family cares and passed family is up there watching you then hope that you can stop this they care.
Lisa Martin says:
i hate myself i feel worthless and stupid i feel like im a bad person it hurts i bury my feelings i hide my sadness by watching youtube and telling stupid jokes i grew up in a family that treated me like an unwanted outsider and i feel that way now too i live with my aunt and uncle now because the neglect was on the levels of abuse i didnt even know how to do basic hygene because noone ever loved me enough to ever teach me ive lived with them for about 5 years and love them both with everything i have ive learned alot but i have no social skills due to abuse (verbal emotional psycological and sexual) i have a huge fear of people therefor i cant get a job i even had to drop out of school because of this ive had people tell me they think i have aspergers syndrome i try to help around the house but my memories getting bad or something because i keep forgetting to do stuff my aunt lately has been getting mad at me alot and keeps saying im lazy and each time it breaks my heart more and more im trying i really am but i just forget stuff sometimes im trying i really am but i think my aunt and uncle r starting to hate me too i dont know what to do anymore i dont wanna get outta bed anymore i dont wanna hurt anymore but thats all i do i feel like my aunt and uncle r gonna throw me out and if that happens then i will truly have noone i wll just give up someone please tell me what to do someone please make the pain stop someone please help me…..
Tyler says:
I feel like garbage. I’m 21 and have hurt and deceived so many people over the course of 7 years. I know I still do but I am unaware of who I hurt. I had contemplated suicide once, mainly because of my self hatred and my status as an outcast. Even today I am trash being tossed around. I’m so sick of this feeling but have given up. I feel it’s society that made me feel like this. I don’t know anymore, all I do know is that this feeling is never disappearing and all of the times I really try it gets even worse.
PanMarie says:
For a long time now I’ve been struggling to cope with the fact that I’ve hurt some people and will continue to hurt people with my words or my attitude. This coming from me anyone would think I’m not a good person and I just say and do whatever I please without concern for others. I sincerely believe I’m not like that. In fact I’ve repeatedly had some people tell me I’m a nice person. I care about how people feel. I always try to act in a manner that would please everybody. But sometimes I just find myself in a situation where people would ignore me because apparently I’ve said or done something that offended them. I don’t know why I’m like this and I hate myself for who I am. How could a ‘nice’ person as they say be capable of saying hurtful things?
lala says:
I dont know why i feel like this. This also feels weird writing down, but probably nobody is gonna read this cringy text anyways. I feel terrible. For the past months i just feel like i havent been taking care of myself as i should. I guess i should change something, but i guess i dont want to. Do i like being miserable? Im actually talking to myself haha . I wait to get home annd force myself to cry in the hope of feeling better , didnt work yet but maybe next time. Im not doing anything productive. I think people think im dumb because of the way i present myself, but really i feel like a wise person. I rather present myself as a dumb person, it makes people open up more and be less cautious knowing theyre not going to be judged by a wiseass. I actually have no ide what im writing. This is random thoughts. Did i just invent a form of self therapy? If this helps me then yes.. I feel like i have no future. I am young, very actually. I am hoping and planning on being extremely happy in about a year. I am gonna be done with school. I feel like im finally going to feel free. Whatever that is, and however that feels. I see myself being extremely happy, the ultimate feeling. But deep down i think im lying to myself. Im either going to be extremely happy or just plain sad. Its weird, i can only see myself as either one extreme. Never in the middle. Am i gonna end up homeless because of my decisions? Am i gonna make the right decisions? I have the capacity of making something great. But im slowly killing myself from inside and draining all my power out. I am wasting time money and talent. I should be happy with what i have. I should be happy i have a talent and something im good at. I should get better at it. How do i keep my mind off of dark thoughts? When i am happy, how do i stay hapy? Do i think too much? Or too little? Or wrong? Does my mind work and think in the same way as others? I want to be happy. I wish many things never happened. I have to accept i have no control over certain things. I often think of power and control. Its an interesting concept. Who has the power/control in specific situations? How theese things switch or are blurred lines or illusions. Does anyone really have control over anything? I am not helping myself by writing this right now .. hey if you read till here good job.. sometimes i wish i could stop time . Or just disappear as if i never existed. And its not even in horrible situations that i think this. Thats weird. I want to challenge myself. Push myself . Start doing things i wish to. Be honest. Stop masking my feelings. Its hard to do that. I feel terrible because whenever i sspeak my mind i uset my family. I hate myslf for it. I cant think of an example, but its not insulting or sth like that.. There are so many crazy things in life really. Well in mine at least. Im fascinated with two-facedness. Also the way we can ignore things, or forget, or move on. Its a powerful mind. I see people on the streets and trains every day and nobody looks happy. Is this my fate? Nobody is happy. It looks horrible. I dont want to be the way they are. Live to survive. I want to live and enjoy andbe happy and not harm anyone and escape the problems of current reality. School systems are strange. There are so many things strage on our planet. I like to think of the people of the future and the way they would think of us. Primitive? Authoritarian? Naive? Angry? Forcing? Unhappy? … i wonder how im gonna look when im lod, if im gonna be alive, will i have a family, what kind of man is my husband? Am i happy? Will i remember my current self, being this way? Will i think of myself silly, will i ave self pitty? Who do i blame this on? Am i this way because of myself or others? Oh and, am i crazy? Like , how do you define a crazy person? Its strange when you think about it, how definitions change, statuses, ond day you might be a regar person annd the next youre called crazy and your credibility’s on the line. Just imagine,anything you say is dismissed , because youre defined crazy. Even if you try disprove your status you cant, because youre crazy. Its strange how people tend to look for and find comfort in finding causes for effects. Why something halens, we make our own causes. I dont know what to do but i hate being stuck in this state of mind. I dont know what to try.
Em says:
For a long time I have felt, and still feel, that no one would miss me if I were to die. That even if they did, they would get over it soon enough because I’m just another mouth to feed, and there’s so many bad things about me. I still feel this way, even though whenever I speak up about it people always deny it and say that I’m awesome or cool or that they’d miss me. Anytime that happens it makes me think of the phrase “actions speak louder than words”. So, that leads to my questions. If someone doesn’t show that they care about you, even if they say it verbally, should you still hold onto them? Especially if they are family or close friends? Should you keep living with people who say they care for you, but never show it? Should you tolerate or even accept that those closest to you, even friends and family, are the reason that you want to self harm and end things? How do you move past that when you can’t tell them, or when you can’t leave them either?
Em says:
And if you do have to live with it, how do you stand the verbal and emotional abuse? When all they do is say that it’s your fault or that you’re overreacting, and if they do apologize, its just a brief, nonchalant, “sorry?” as though they don’t even mean it, and they don’t because they don’t change their actions to match their apology.
Aniketh says:
I hate myself because I feel like I lie a lot, but there is nothing I can do to fix it
TheHopeLine® says:
We have a really helpful free eBook about lying. I think it can really help and give you understanding about yourself. Also, HopeCoaches are here to chat with you anytime 24/7. You CAN get better!
http://info.thehopeline.com/lying-ebook
No One says:
I hate myself. I’m fat and I hate myself for letting it happen but the person who is meant to be their for me (which I hate) always calls me fat, fat, FAT!! I feel like starving myself just so I don’t have to be fat anymore!
Marysa Kellis says:
God never abandons you. No matter how much you think he does, God will never leave you. He loves everyone so much and gave up his son for OUR sins! When you think God leaves you, just pray harder, and trust me, he will answer your prayers.
Melissa Gaydos says:
😢😢🙏❤
Deen Pearls says:
Pray to God in all honesty and sincerity to guide you to the truth.
Also, remember, every soul shall taste death. Every soul is accountable for what he/she does. No one accountable for your actions except you. Please remember that. We’ve all met very horrible people in our lives, so it never made sense to me how their sins are just forgiven like you mentioned. I mean these people exploit other people for their own desires, they ruthlessly kill, and there are many other horrible things that wretched people do, so I would never want them to be forgiven for hurting me like that, or worse hurting my loved ones. I would want them to be accountable before God for every single tear that I ever shed because of what they did. I want my Lord to give me justice. The justice that people serve is imperfect, but the justice of my Lord is perfect.
Please forgive me if I said anything to hurt you. I sincerely apologize if I said anything to make you feel bad or have caused you any discomfort in any way.
Isis estrada says:
I don’t honestly have a reason to feel depressed sometimes. I think that when someone says the littlest things to me , I image this whole reality were something absouluty bad happens, and I’ve talked to many people about it, but still I feel like carp. I guess its just carving for attention, or I don’t like being proved wrong , or sounding dumb. Some things I’ve done in the past, effect me today. Like back at my school. I was a pretty dumb and stupid looking kid who did gross things and embarrassing things. At the time I didn’t care what people were thinking of me, but now I look back at it and say “why did you that”. Which is probably one reason why I hated myself The next reason would be appearance. People say I have a nice face(some people ) but, in my reality, I have a face only my family could love. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like ai like it. Since everyone gives me attention for being depressed, and I don’t know where the depression comes froms. And I get emotional and sad off of little and dumb things. I think I just need to say to myself. Wake up, and Shut up, and get moving. Snap out of it.
Shealtiel Levi says:
I love my wife to death we had bad times and good times she cheated on me many times so for pay back I started going on website to piss her off we live together sleep in the same bed I thought things was.going good until she told someone I love u that took my bReath away like I had pains in my chest sharp pains tears coming down even when I dont want to cry after all this I still love her iam not ready to let her go we have kids n been marry for ten years
lauren says:
I have never liked whome I am I dont know why really I jiust feel like I cant do anythong and everthing I do seems to be wrong, at school I was bullied and I hated my self even more I was called fat and even worst names and I started to believe them now I am 19 I just cant see anything good about me and whome I am
TheHopeLine® says:
Lauren, we just posted a new blog about bullying. It is a true story about a girl who turned it around for something good. Check out her story and video – https://www.thehopeline.com/how-her-pain-turned-into-something-beautiful/ You might want to join her facebook group. She is my hero.
Howard says:
All day everyday I feel stupid and ugly. I am balding pretty bad but I always wear a hat. People comment all the time do you ever take your hat off or do you wash that thing. I feel like a joke that everyone is laughing at. I don’t go out with friends or co workers because I’m afraid the subject of me always wearing my hat will come up and people will find out I’m balding. It really has toking a toll on my self e
Rina says:
I’m only 12 years old and although I know that the problems I face in my life are most likely minuscule compared to others, I find it unfair how many people will believe that kids my age do not have problems of their own. The nights when I only get 2 hours of sleep for various reasons are the nights that I suffer the most, and then when I go to school, teachers ask me why I seem so tired. I tell them I only slept two or three hours, and I’m met with the same typical answer: You did not only get two or three hours. Only my health teacher and counselor seem to know that I tell the truth.
Today, my parents told me that I was a waste of everybody’s time and energy. They say that they don’t believe that I try hard, because sometimes results just don’t end up the way that either of us want. I feel useless because I don’t want them to be wasting their time, energy, or money on me, to let it fall short.
As I stood there being reprimanded today, I had an urge inside me to walk to the utensils drawer and get a knife and stab myself. I didn’t know where this urge had suddenly stemmed from, but it did. However, I fought the urge and told myself that killing myself would only be a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I do wish I was someone else. I’m compared to everyone, and it makes me feel like trash when someone chooses another over me. I hate the words:
“I would trade you out for anyone else”, yet it seems to be something I hear too often.
I have one guy friend that’s older than me, that I talk to all the time. He’s the person I vent to if I ever need to vent, yet it’s starting to seem as if he doesn’t care, and would rather that I left him alone. So, I did. It didn’t seem to bother him the slightest.
Maybe no one cares about me, then. It’s hard to believe otherwise.
Mariah says:
I hate myself…
Usually my family and most of my friends take that statement as a joke, but it’s very true. I feel like I won’t ever add up to anything important in life and that I’d never find my significant other, nor do I deserve one. I always thing that everything I do it a failure and that it’s my fault. a few of my good friends compliment me and everything I do and it makes me feel worse. I feel like they just they nice things to make me happy.
One of the worst things is that I can’t take rejection and mistakes easily. It makes me feel incompetent and that I shouldn’t do anything in life because I’ll just mess everything up and end up in a massive hellhole full of personal problems, and self hate. But it’s not just me, I feel like I’m holding everyone back and that I’m just a pain to them. I want them to be happy, happy without me because I know I’m not gonna live long in the world.
Ana says:
i dont know why im so depressed…maybe from everything people have done….i dont understand why i cant be happy or why it takes so much energy to smile. everything i used to love doesnt seem interesting…i starve myself because my best friend and boyfriend jokingly called me fat when i was eating lunch…i cut myself to release the pain but i dont know how much more i can take of this self hate everyone thinks its only for attention but believe me thats the last thing i want is attention…
Ana says:
i know i have nothing absolutly nothing to be depressed about. i have aloving and understanding boyfriend. an amazing and beautiful best friend and a loving family so why? i dont understand…
Sophia Roberts says:
I want to be ok because my life isn’t too bad. I feel ungrateful for hating myself and thinking about
how hard my life is. I have a lowing family and friends yet I can’t seem to keep myself in reality long enough to interact and feel anything. I try everyday to make myself feel something other than despair but I can’t because I constantly see the bad, constantly feel myself getting mad at the smallest of things and constantly find an excuse to get out of breaking away from this chain such as “they hate me” “he’ll never like me”. My self hating personality has gotten in the way of so many friendships and relationships. I must admit apprarance wise I do think I’m attractive but I hate my personality. It ruins everything for me. I can’t even enjoy my looks without thinking about how much it doesn’t even matter cause no one really like me anyways
Diggy Crawlies says:
What is the purpose of life?
TheHopeLine® says:
Everyone has a unique purpose. You have been given unique qualities, talents, and gifts. Check out this story about an 18 year old who found her purpose in life – https://www.thehopeline.com/age-doesnt-matter-you-can-make-a-difference/
IDon'tEvenDeserveMyBirthName says:
I am 18 and in college. I have everything I ever needed. I have a very very loving family who supports all my needs. My friends are awesome. Whatever I pray to God, I receive. BUT………..that’s the thing. I DON’t Deserve all this. I do bad things everyday and I say sorry everytime but it’s been a lot of those times and I feel so bad for always doing them knowing I can easily get away from them by a simple sorry. Now I almost couldn’t reach out to God because I am too ashamed. I feel like every second of my life, I’m a disappointment to my parents. I don’t tell them my problems especially my failures. I don’t want them to finally realize how big of a disappointment I am. I always made them proud. I didn’t wanna change all that. Now everytime I fail no matter how small it is, I always beat myself and think I’m tired of putting up with myself. why am I like this? it’s like I’m possessed because I I feel like i cannot control my actions and decisions and I just watch myself failing and messing up. Everytime I do something and fail, i always knew I could’ve done better. and that’s what I’m mad about myself. I know what to do and how to do it BUT I STILL DON’T! I DON’T EVEN HAVE AN EXCUSE. I’m done. I’m done with myself.
Jennifer persilver says:
I have always been myself. But high school has gotten to me. Today on March 3, 2017 a boy wanted a hug. So, I gave him one and when I did he kissed me on the cheek. Now I have muscle spasm and every now and then it loses control. Well my arm lost control and punched the boy in the face. I knew it hurt I went in class and started to cry. I feel so bad now and I hate myself. Bad part about it was that the boy had a big crush on me and I had one on him. We just didn’t know til now. I wanna kill myself but I know that I think is not gon fix a thing. I have been crying all day since 1:00pm. That’s how bad it really was. Now he hates me and if I could go back in time I will. But I can’t do that so I gotta find another way to fix this but I don’t know how. I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!
Melissa Gaydos says:
Believe in miracles😇
Mark Ciroca says:
I’m an over educated county
correctional officer. I wasted my time getting a criminal justice degree and now I work with immature people (guards) everyday. I had dreams of better. The past 5 years out of college haven’t been any easier. I failed a field exam in OCS and was discharged from the military. I recently re-enlisted. I still don’t get the wasted time back where I could have accomplished something else or learned something useful. I have come to hate myself. Although, I always did. High school I was usually alone as well as college. I have threatened to kill myself multiple times, but never carried it out
TheHopeLine® says:
Mark, please don’t give up. Please don’t define yourself by the past. It sounds like you are smart and have accomplished a lot already – obtaining a college degree, working full-time, being in the military. Please don’t hate yourself. Take some time to chat with a HopeCoach and maybe we can help you find a new perspective and fresh direction. You are a gifted, talented, and caring young man and the world needs people like you. Chat with us anytime 24/7 – click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp We look forward to getting to know you and helping you through this battle!
Matt says:
Everyone always asked what’s wrong, and if I can’t answer I feel like I’m insulting them for trying to help. When I do have an answer it’s an onslaught of insanity that comes like a flood. People tend to run when this comes out. Eventually they just stop coming back. All I want is somebody to understand but I push the ones who might be able to help further away. Or even worse, they sit, listen, try to understand, and just end up patronizing me which only makes me feel worse. The silence is the worst part. When everyone’s asleep, he’s all I can hear. Screaming at me. Whispering to me. I can’t make the voices stop. They always have the worst ideas. Horrible ideas that I would never be able to go through with.
TheHopeLine® says:
Have you been to see a doctor? You may need to talk to someone who can help you sort through it all and figure out what is wrong. We have trained HopeCoaches available 24/7 to chat with you and we have resources to help you. Please click the “chat now” button or go to this page – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp
A. Lone says:
I have hated myself since I was a kid. I am 47 years old and a mess. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband and beautiful kids. I have people who admire me and love me, yet I hate me. I never feel I can do anything right. I mess everything up. Right now what I am messing up is my marriage. The one thing I have always believed in was the love of my husband. Of course with hating myself I suffer from depression and anxiety issues. Somehow this has affected my libido. first without meds it was messed up. I love my husband to no end, but as time went by I lost it. Then a situational issue came up and BAM… depression hit. It hit hard. I went to doc and got on meds and it helped, but throughout the years the meds have not helped with the libido issue. Now, a few months short of 20 years of marriage my husband has had it. He doesn’t care that it is an illness, he hates that I wouldn’t even let him hug me. I didn’t even realize I was that bad. Now he is ready to walk and I am in shock. My depression went crazy. I have been going to my doctor for years begging for help with the libido thing. Our marriage counselor suggested I get on Bupropion,, which helps with weight and libido.. why did my doc not suggest this earlier? I asked and she said it doesn’t help with the anxiety issues I have. All I know is that i hate myself even more and have in the last week of being off my anti-d in order to switch to the new one have had thoughts of suicide. I know better and know how it affects those left behind as my aunt did this when I was 13. it was devastating. i don’t want to do that to anyone, but I just want this ickyness of me to stop. I am in such pain. I hate it… I hate me for doing this to me and everyone… why can’t I stop hating me
Duyugodu Ayosdi says:
I’ve never been worth it or good enough for anyone.
Roro says:
I’m so stupid. I can’t do anything right, I’m 26 I have a degree in something that I’m not good at, I seriously don’t know what to do, people tell me I’m ugly all the time, no man ever found me attractive, I feel sorry for my family they raised me and spent alot of money on me, but still I’m good for nothing, I think if I die it wd be much easier for them at least I wd not waste their money, time and efforts.
TheHopeLine® says:
Only really really mean people would tell someone that they are ugly- that says more about who they are and what kind of problems they have. I am sorry you have not yet found something you enjoy doing and can feel successful in. The fact that you completed a degree is a HUGE accomplishment.
There is something out there that you are good at and it is just a matter of exploring ideas and options of what that might be. What are your hobbies? interests? Chatting with a HopeCoach about how you are feeling can be really helpful right now. We are here for you 24/7. Just click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp
Lelio Marino says:
Thanks man that made me feel really good on an especially hard night
Nothing says:
I hate myself. I have for sometime. I have people who care about me and I care about them, but I hate myself. I don’t know the exact cause for this, I just know that my life is going nowhere and I am not important. I often wish that someone would just kill me! Why? Because I can’t even harm myself. I am too scared. I just wish someone would do it for me. Or that I would get some disease and just die. But I will be okay and continue to hate myself for a long time. There is nothing that is going to stop this. Some days I am okay with hating myself. Some days I actually feel bitter sweet about my depression. I feel that it is okay that I hate myself.
fuck says:
i hate how my skin are full with pimples and i hate how flawless everyone around me are. to make things more worst, not only having an ugly face but also im careless. i can be so careless. i left a scratch on my friend’s car. i made my parents dissapointed. i bring no good to people. you can see how bad my life is. i hate myself. i want to die.
Mel says:
As a college student trying to figure out her life, I feel like its slowly turning to sh*t. I’m not motivated to go to classes (even though I really want to go but just sleep through the alarms), I stopped hanging out with people in general and would rather be at home alone, I stopped caring about what I looked like but then all I would do was care about what I look like and how other people view me. I never really liked how I looked but my boyfriend of five years always told me otherwise. In my family I feel like the rut compared to my cousins. I’m the struggling art student while my cousins graduated with honors for law and the other for nursing. I create beautiful art pieces, but my grades are just plummeting. I feel.. empty I guess? And I feel like a total failure compared to my cousins. My mind is telling me to do better, but I get too scared to listen to it. I’m just tired of crying every night figuring out what I’m going to do with my life and if I’m going to ‘survive’ in the real world. I’m unhappy and when I’m at home I have to pretend to be the goofy daughter whose ‘happy-go-lucky’ and listen to my family talking about success, grades, and being better. They don’t know that for most of my life, I’ve just wanted to disappear from it all. Not so much as suicide (although I’ve had those thoughts when I was younger) but just to leave everyone behind and leave the worries too and go live somewhere else by myself.
Ellie says:
I Hate myself because I am ugly and fat I barely have friends because of my apperence and it is hard to smile because everyone around me are pretty and skinny and have loads of friends I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH 😭😭
Anoynomous says:
i only hate myself at school when people or my teacher dont notice me. Im invisible if I dont try to be, but Im an introvert so there is no way I would willingly tell anyone this in person.
Garfield Gield says:
My hate is because of things I’ve actually done to good people. It’s my own fault and can’t be changed….can be remedied but never changed. I borrowed around 800 dollars from a (former) friend over 4 years ago. I even stayed at their place for free for over a year. Our friendship desolved over that time period because I was living with my friend and their partner and our work are very different. I was desperate when my friend took me in. My family are religious nuts and I’m gay and free spirited and we get along . Anyway….over time I just stayed in my room and when the time came I left for Europe. I can’t go on because……..
Summer Middleditch says:
Im only 9 and ive hated myself since i was 7 but reading this has made me feel like a person that people love. I always though i was ugly, stupid and useless because no one liked me. Thank you TheHopeLine!😐😚
TheHopeLine® says:
I am so glad this helped you!!!!! 🙂 You are a very special person and your life has a purpose.
Maddy says:
I don’t have anything to be sad about, But I feel like I’ve messes up my life so bad and I have trouble even getting out of bed. I’m needy and I always want attention. I always drive away people that cared for me with my behavior and I wish I could just be like everybody else.
Christopher Wheeler says:
I just really don’t know anymore. It seems like time has been going by so fast and I just feel so alone and that nothing is ever going to change that and I missed every opportunity to be truly happy
Desperate4Love says:
I googled I hate myself hoping the results would show me how to kill myself, instead the hope line was the very first result. I hit the link bc I thought it is has something. Hope. For me hope is my children whom i love so much, i care about so much, and I live just for them. Without them I’m nothing. My family keep telling me that they care about me and they love me, but they lie. They love the perfect person I’ve always have been to them. the perfect daughter, the perfect sister. The one who gives everything and expecting nothing in return. The one who slaved her life cooking, wiping floors, doing homework, washing the dishes, caring for 2 other sisters and 4 brothers all the while scoring no less that A+ in school in all subjects at all years. My education was the only thing I did right to myself. Sorry that is a lie. I did it bc I want my parents to be proud of me. they wanted me to have a phd, so they can brag to everybody. I married after I finished high school. Arranged marriage. He is my cousin. All what he expected was a slave. When he saw that i am a person of dreams and I have a brain, he turned into an emotional monster. I made the mistake of sharing my secret with him. I told him I got hit all the time, but what affect me and makes me cry is when someone calls me names. I didn’t know how worthless cur he is. Nobody helped me get out. “husbands always right” that what they say. I got 3 children. I fought for my studies. I graduated university with first-degree honor in management and 3 kids trailing after me. I wanted to continue my masters. My husband refused. He said it is the time that I come to my sense and be the housewife I should’ve been a long time ago. Throughout the years I never felt so alone. He made sure, in very ugly ways, that I never should call myself a woman. He kept telling me I’m a shameful excuse of a female and I should thank my lucky stars that he agreed to marry me. He made sure everyone knows how miserable he feels as a result of marrying me. He told me on several occasions that he is doing the male kind a service by keeping me as his wife, otherwise, every man would hate him and curse him for letting me free. I focused my care and love on my children with the little resources I had (my books and my believes) especially after I graduated. I wanted them to love school and love knowledge and love books and stories. After a year of my graduation, he asked me out of the blue to apply for an international scholarship. It turns out that he wanted a promotion in his work and couldn’t get it without getting a higher degree. He couldn’t afford going to graduate school and his bachelor certificate was out of date, so he couldn’t apply. He wanted to use my grades and my application, so we all can come as a family and he would get his degree. Coming to Canada was a dream to me. The Mounties and the Rookie Mountains. The rivers and the beautiful nature. My English was fluent so it didn’t took that long for me to get accepted to a graduate school in Canada and get that scholarship. I finished my masters in 3 years. Meanwhile, he was still studying the language-ESL. I was the one who told him to stop wasting his time and literally applied to 3 different schools all at once for him. I myself applied for a phd for myself.I got accepted. After 2 years of that We separated after 14 years of marriage. That started when we were at an indoor playground he got so mad at me that he started calling me names- nothing unusual here. But that time he was so furious he started spitting on me and screaming and calling me profanities. I took a taxi and came home and there he was waiting for me at the entrance of the building to continue his rage in front of everyone. I was so humiliated. I wished the ground to swallow me. That moment I knew I should get out. I should do something. So I was quite. I gave him the silent treatment for 2 months. How pathetic that sounds. But financially I wasn’t independent and there were the kids who witnessed that. After I disengaged myself emotionally and physically (in started to sleep with the kids). I taught myself how to drive. I learned how to be finically independent. I got part time job. and again focused my efforts on my kids: enrolling them in sports. taking them everywhere, building memories with them, getting to know them even better and better. We moved to a bigger apartment so my daughter can have her own room while I shared the boys room. He has his own room. He didn’t as much as looked into the new apartment before we moved in. After 8 month of that incident he again became enraged for no reason. He threatened to kill me and was chasing me until I hid in the bedroom with my kids. We were scared to death. He broke the door and was almost inside I grabbed my phone and called 911. He left the apartment. And was never allowed to get back again. I got an immediate emergency order and a sole custody to my children.It is now 6 months and he is still refusing to pay one dollar to support the kids in anything. So i ended up with all the bills and costs of everything imaginable of 3 active children of 13, 10, and 8 years old. With no family and only very few friends, I’m barely holding everything together. I’m so exhausted all the time. emotional eating is my habit. I eat healthy to my defence, but I eat ALOT. When I say I hate myself it is this one thing I see myself lacking. I’m FAT. I just came from the mall and looking into myself in the double mirrors made me realize how ugly I’m. I’m alone and feel lonely al the time. I work like like a machine. Nobody detects anything bc I’m always smiling and positive.Nonetheless, I don’t see any slight attention from males around me, so I always think about what mu husband told me. I hate thinking he is right. I’m so naive and never dated a guy before and quite honestly don’t know what I’m looking for or even if I should looking. I know nobody likes fatty women. I quitted the gym bc I can’t afford it and there is no time for it. So how come I found the time to write all of this. I was supposed to send my supervisor a progress report a week ago, and here I am talking about my miseries. But i don’t want you to feel bad for me nor I want your pity. I want to share this: writing my journey now I realize what i have been through. At least my life didn’t go to waste. I raised up beautiful and smart children. I’m doing ok with my research and I’m a perfect employee the centre I’m working in ever had, so they told me. My advice is to give yourself time to grieve and time to cry. Those emotions have to be let out, but never ever let them sink you. Find a passion in your life, a sport, a game, a study, or even adopt a child and experience that sense of responsibility that makes you filled with love and alive.
TheHopeLine® says:
What an amazing story of courage and overcoming! You were in an extremely abusive marriage, verbally, emotionally, and physically damaging. You are a great role model to your children and others of how you can overcome what you went through and become the amazing women you were created to be. Keep up the great work and continue to encourage others with your story. Many women are in abusive relationships and need someone like you to help them and give them hope.
Anonymous says:
I hate myself so much. I do a lot of self pity thinking that will make evrything better. I cry at night. I think I am ugly, stupid, worthless, and I have no reason to live. I wish I could make it all go away be happy. I have been this way since I was 12. Any thoughts on how to make this go away and be happy.
parshant says:
every day i am loose and my aim is gone ……i am student of bhm ..my family didnt support me then also poverty ,,,,,,,,,,…..i didnt belive for god ….i am single ….i want see every people are poor ..and not food quality government is not good …no job oppourtinites ,,,,,,no rules ….
parshant says:
i am small but my thinking is great………i know every peoples are poor …my life also this same …….my age is 24 ….many people thinking is narrow ….rich people didnt help poor people just like government ,,,,,NO available of water ,transporation is no facility ……guys i want change for poverty this is my big aim …
TheHopeLine® says:
It sounds like you have a desire to see things get better for your people. Even though you are just one person you CAN make a difference!
manab bhattacharjee says:
hi
manab bhattacharjee says:
hi i suffering from cyberbullying and media troll someone hacked my account and harrising me before i m using facebook they hacked my pc and doing alogoritham and doxing .i am fealing insecurty.i need strong help.please help me out on this case.thanks
CanIDieNow says:
I am depressed and I want to smash my head in against a wall. I know I should be happy I have food on my table and a roof over my head, but it isn’t enough. I don’t understand why anyone would like me. I don’t think they do. I hate myself and I wish I had the guts to kill myself. I feel like everyone hates me and I feel like I’m not getting anything accomplished and I want to die. Please help!
TheHopeLine® says:
Please don’t give up. We are here for you and there is hope. Please chat with us online about how you are feeling and what is going on in your life right now that is causing you to feel this way. Please go to this link and start chatting – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp
Kelly says:
I just feel so lost.. My dad is in prison and everyone i hold dearly is leaving my life. My family is falling apart and my mom is losing her mind.. My sister takes her anger out on me verbally and it hurts. My closest friends are making horrible decisions that are ruining their life and they won’t listen to me when i try to tell them they are bad. I’m also gay, and it’s hard to explain to my family things and they try to push me to be straight but I’m 17 and have been gay for 4 years now almost 5. I miss my dad so much.. he hasn’t even been gone for a month and he has 6 years left to go… He was the only one that understood me. I blame myself for all my relationships ending.. because everyone has left me. It’s rare for me to leave them. So obviously there is something wrong with me and my abilities as a partner. I know i am young and that there will be many more relationships but I try to make the one’s i have matter but everyone just.. leaves. It’s very hard for me to open up to anyone and when i do i don’t expect them to leave but they do… and they make it seem like i was hurting them which makes me hate myself more because I hate hurting people.. I just don’t know what to do anymore 🙁
Elijah Firestone says:
For me it’s not one thing and it has been a constant over my life. I can’t remember a time after toddlerhood in which I didn’t absolutely hate everything about myself. I’ve been attempting suicide since I was 6, but as I have no abilities, of course, I can’t even do that. There isn’t a single good quality to me. I’m worthless, and the thought of even trying to think positvely of myself makes me want to severely self harm. All this therapy, getting better, feeling good about yourself seems like it’s so easy for so many people, but if it’s that easy for you to come around and love yourself then you never really had a problem in the first place. I hate society, I hate human beings, I hate myself, and I hate the universe. If it weren’t for my child I would eat a bullet, and if something happens to take them away from me, that’s the very first thing I’m going to do.
TheHopeLine® says:
This makes me so sad that you have felt this way for such a long time. Someone cared about you to want to have a child with you. And as a dad you are a very important person. Please chat with a HopeCoach about what is going on in your life – We are available online 24/7 and it is free, https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp
annabel cheuk says:
i hope someone reads all of this because i find it so hard to open up and talk about myself.
im only 13 years old but every day i feel empty.
i used to be an a-grade student and everyone looked up to me, my teachers liked me, i worked hard in class. but now i barely pass any of my tests and my homework is never done. my teachers are concerned and write letters to my parents. ive started cutting class because i just cant deal with all of the homework i havent handed in and tests i havent studied for.
i just cant concentrate on anything. ive started binge eating and dieting and im never satisfied with my appearance. im always sad or upset for no reason and now people dont like me, im even turning my parents against me. i always feel useless and worthless. im not good at anything anymore. and while people around me are succeeding and achieving great things, i am getting worse and worse, and the worse i get the harder it is to get better.
my life was completely fine but i just feel like ive ruined it. i was completely happy until i started feeling this way and ive just made everything hard for myself. i don’t really have anything to be upset about but every day i am crying and upset and i find it hard to do simple tasks because i feel so empty and worthless.
i just wish i could start my life again. or do something to drown out how empty i feel. i really want someone i can open up to because no one really knows how i feel inside. all they see is someone angry and upset and they get hurt.
i want someone to understand how i feel.
TheHopeLine® says:
I am so sad that you are feeling like this. We definitely want to chat with you and help you. Our chat lines are open 24/7 and it is free and confidential. Here is the link to chat with a HopeCoach – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp
Es Death! ★ says:
I should start by saying I found your article because I am searching for answers to find out how to love myself and have confidence. I hate myself down to my very being; the decisions I make, my indecision, how I think, my hair, my voice, my body, my current living standards. I feel I don’t deserve anything. Time after time, I have shown myself to be mentally weak. I realize that I compare myself to others and it gets me in a bad place mentally. So when I read your article, I find it weird that you’ve found your strength through the Lord. My parents tell me something similar. I know for a fact the Lord hates me for my sexuality and the ‘family’ members of my congregation feels the same way. I need help searching for a plausible answer for my struggles because I don’t know what to do.
Thank you for your time.
TheHopeLine® says:
God really does love you and He does NOT hate you. In Romans 5:8 it says, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” No one is good or perfect, we all have our own struggles. Even the heroes in the Bible, who are loved by God, were not perfect – Peter denied Jesus and David committed adultery and murder – just to name a few. But we are all loved and forgiven because Christ died for us. I don’t know what kind of church you have attended, but maybe look for one that teaches the Bible really thoroughly. And please chat with a HopeCoach – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp It is totally free and confidential. We can answer your questions and help you sort through your feelings. I know that you are loved by God and we care about you, too!
Jenifer says:
So I am a teenager and my mom often thinks I hate her but I truly don’t and I hate myself so much because I seem to ruin ever for her and I want to fix it cus I hurt the ones I love the most and I just hate myself for doing this and over me as a person but I have good qualities that just don’t come out I don’t let them out
TheHopeLine® says:
You sound like you really care about your mom a lot. Have you talked to her about how you are feeling? You sound like a really wonderful daughter.
KillMeNow says:
I know why God created me.
Because he was trolling my family
He was like: Huh, this woman expects a beautiful healthy loving girl? Ha! I’ll give her an ugly stupid one instead. And why not give the daughter self hatred, just for fun”
Zena Williams says:
I hate myself. Mostly because I’ve never had real freinds. People say I’m ugly, stupid,weak,retarted,and I’m espaically ugly. And I try to believe that I am not any of those things. But sometimes I just fall apart. And then I have no one to talk to about it. And I try to pray that someone out there gets me. But no luck. Then, everyone doesn’t talk to me or they ignore me. I just try to pray that God will have my back and give me the confidence to step back up again if someone or something knocks me down.
TheHopeLine® says:
You sound brave in the midst of your sadness. We are here for you. Chatting with a HopeCoach can help – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp Chat is open 24/7 and it is free. Also, we have a prayer site where real people will pray for you https://www.theprayerzone.com/
Savannah says:
I do not know you but anyone who says those things that put you down obviously have their own problems. Always try to stay positive and meet new people any way you can and surround yourself with positive people whom love you just the way you are. I know how you are feeling and I actually feel empty inside myself, guess I am better at helping others than helping myself and giving people advise that I cannot take myself due to the way I feel and reasons I do not feel like I am worth living. The right people will help you get your confidence. I know things are always easier said than done but one day at a time. Try talking to a professional about your problems and they can actually help you out and get your head in the right place, I should do the same but no funds or a way to get help. I really hope you start to feel better and surround yourself with those who love you for who you are.
sarah says:
i feel as if i am always being left behind. i am never anyone’s first choice, and i never will be. i feel like i am dead weight and a nuisance to my mother, and my brothers and sister. my dad passed away a few years ago, and i should probably mention that i had brain surgery a month ago, and people don’t understand that i am still recovering. but i want okay before the surgery. i fell back into a swell of self hate that i had about 3 years ago. i’ve also lost over 80 lbs since then, but i’m still a little chubby. i honestly don’t know what to do, what to think, or what to say when people ask, what’s wrong?? why are you acting all weird??
Anonymous says:
I love God and I love Jesus but I often feel myself hating everything about me. Everyone thinks I can’t have any problems because I’m a ‘happy’ person and I help out with lots of things and I always smile but under that sort of facade I feel useless and a waste of space, I know i was made by God for a purpose and I believe it but I’m finding everything very difficult and I’m always feeling sad or lonely.
Tam says:
I grew up in a big family and was very quiet as a child so ended up being emotionally neglected. I also grew up fairly poor and witnessed violence as a child. I’m now mid 20’s and I don’t know why I can’t stop hating myself. I look at what others have – good childhoods where they were supported and shown love, nice clothes, a family who actually talk to one another, wealth, beauty, and then I look at myself. I don’t understand how this is fair, it’s leading me to question the justice of God but I know I love God. I dont know what to do. I just want to stop hating myself, it’s so tiring.
TheHopeLine® says:
Our guest blogger, Lama Leah, wrote an inspiring post about her own struggles and becoming an overcomer – https://www.thehopeline.com/life-is-worth-fighting-for
You are worth fighting for and becoming something more than the sum of your past. I imagine you are compassionate towards others because of your own experiences of hurt. You have a lot to offer and that is true beauty.
M.L.H. Javert says:
I literally hate myself, with the passion of a thousand burning suns! I’m just so very, very tired of things not going right for me. And I unfortunately don’t have the hope that God loves me. I know some people believe God loves them, and find comfort in that, but I fail to see how he does. In fact, I feel like he’s punishing me for being a bad person or something… just leaving me to suffer for the rest of my life.
I have failed at everything in life since graduating college 4 years ago. I am barely scraping by at a slightly over minimum wage job with nowhere near the hours or benefits I need (basically making about as much as I did back in college, so my degree has not had any sort of payoff). Most people tell me I “should have majored in something more lucrative”. I’m sorry, but I’m a performing artist, and I’m too stupid at the sciences, meaning I’d be a terrible doctor or engineer, and I can’t make sense of a matrix of ones and zeros to code computers. In fact, going to school for those things would have been pointless, because I would have flunked out. Despite that fact, I still kick myself mentally for even having my degree because it feels like a waste of $40,000 in student loans, if I’m only going to be qualified to sing or act (both of which are incredibly difficult industries to find work in, especially in the rural midwest), thereby leaving me to work jobs that high schoolers or trained monkeys could do (and therefore get paid like a high schooler, or a trained monkey). When stuff of mine breaks, and I try to fix it, I fail, and blow more money than I should trying to fix it (these are non-replaceable things that break that can’t be replaced with a trip to Walmart and a $5 bill). I live in a town that I hate, and have wanted to leave since graduating college. But, of course in this economy, nobody elsewhere is willing to hire an out of towner. Frankly, I’ve lost the patience to continuously retool my résumé, and custom tailor cover letters only to be told that they’re “going with a different candidate”, anyway. My whole life feels like a sham! I just want things to go right. I want a reason not to hate myself anymore. Because right now, I’m living a life that can be summed up by a line from Fantine in the musical adaptation of Victor Hugo’s “Les Misérables”:
“I had a dream my life would be
So different from this Hell I’m living!
So different now, than what it seems.
Now, life has killed the dream I dream.”
I’m so lost, and broken that it’s not even funny… I need help.
EyesMalloy says:
I thought you might have something insightful to say, maybe something I hadn’t thought of that could help. But instead you copped out and took the problem to God. Look, Dawson, I have a Bible if I want to consult it. I’m looking for real world answers to help myself overcome the overwhelming self-hate I feel nearly every day, especially at night. Something based on research, something empirical. Using religion to relieve any old problem is slimy, insulting, and infuriating. I hope the people answering phones at your crisis line are more helpful.
THLRachel says:
I get your frustration but my faith is in God and that comes out in everything I believe and write. The HopeCoaches who chat on TheHopeLine are different than me and may each respond a little differently but they all have faith in Jesus Christ as well.
Marcus Lundgren says:
I’m a 40 year old, male virgin. And I’ve also had Body Dysmorphic Disorder and chronic depression since I was 14. Or 26 damn years, to be exact.
I can’t stand the way I look, or to have people looking at me.
Which means that I was unable to finish school and I’ve never had a job
for more than a week because I was too self-conscious to focus on the work.
In fact, I haven’t had a job for the last 16 years. And now I’m on disability
and slowly rotting away, one day at a time.
I can’t have friends or relationships. I never go anywhere or do anything.
I have no dreams or goals or ambitions.
I’m a zombie. My existence is entirely pointless. And it’s too late to try to
change anything now because my “best” years are behind me, and all
I have to look forward to is growing even older, uglier and more bitter.
The only reason why I don’t kill myself is because I like music and to read books.
But as for my own role in the world? I have nothing to contribute, and the
world would be a better place if I didn’t exist. Truly.
THLRachel says:
You do have something to offer this world, it doesn’t matter your age, gender, ethnicity, or anything like that. It’s not what you do (or what skills or knowledge you have) it’s who you are that makes you worth something. We are here for you, so please chat with us at: http://www.TheHopeLine.com/gethelp. We would love the chance to encourage and help you.
Musawer says:
Hi my Name is Musawer Amin and i am originally from Afghanistan but a year ago we moved to Germany because of personal problems. When I started school here it was ok for a while but latter I felt like a freak I didn’t have friends because I couldn’t speak German but latter when I could I fayd people who spoke with me but they always ignored me and made me feel like a loser and made fun of me. I see so beautiful girls in our school but I can’t speak to them because they ignore me and laugh at me because of my weight and that’s not all I was a really good student in my land but now I am the stupidest in the class sometimes I don’t understand so simple thing that the whole class laugh at me and it feels really bad. I see my classmates so happy and I feel so jealous that why can’t I be so happy like them. Everyday I believe tomorrow will be better but it only gets worse and worse. Sometimes I want to die please someone help me please.
THLRachel says:
Musawer, Suicidal thoughts can be very difficult to cope with especially if you feel you have no one to turn to for help. Please, know that we are here to help and would love to speak with you. Chat with us anytime at: http://www.TheHopeLine.com/gethelp.
Hil says:
I’m in an unhealthy relationship but I don’t feel like I’ll ever be loved by anyone else. I know this is untrue but I can’t believe that. I don’t deserve to be happy I deserve to settle.
Ryan Eastwood says:
Im fifteen now and it seems like I am growing up to fast I now have high school to worry about I have guilt that I am disappointing my family I feel like no matter how hard I try I will never be successful in life I failed most of my classes last year and i only passed math now I have to pass in high school otherwise i will not move on
Kennedy Wise says:
you should all love urself
Sarah says:
I have always felt angry at myself. I hate that both my older sisters are so smart, kind, athletic, and social. Everyone loves them. Whenever I don’t get the best grades I think that they wouldn’t get that grade. Whenever I do something stupid, I think they wouldn’t ever do that. Whenever I answer a question wrong in class, I think this as well. It consumes me every day. Every day at school I seem to have a battle in my head. I say to myself I never have been and never will be good enough. The other half of me says I’m definitely good enough, but this part is never enough. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m just so torn😶
Boa Boa says:
I used to hate myself enough to the point where I would yell and scream it out, and back then my parents fought a little and my father yelled and whipped us a lot. It was scary, and I felt very guilty and afraid. My mother’s side always told me the scary things in life like, ‘don’t go somewhere alone, you might be abducted and druged until death’ or ‘Someone might take you away and we will never see you again.’ I was really scared when they said thing like that and i felt guilty, greedy, afraid, and unwanted. I hated myself and would have nightmares every night about the people I love dying, me dying, them killing me, my family being taken away, or my important items being destroyed. It’s been a year or two since I fostered those feeling, but I have sudden outburst where I hate myself, or just really sad and want to inflict pain on myself. (I also still have a nightmare at least twice every other week)
Khadija says:
For me everything is damaged. Have real hard life with full og sorrows. Its been eight years of my deep depressions. My demons by this time may have got too big. Its funny for a fourteen years old girl to have deep deep very deep depressions. I reall hate myself. I k m ugly and people did say that. They hate me for no reason. I get bullied behind my back. I wanna end everything.
David Chin says:
Unfortunately, they invented mirrors. So even though I hate seeing ANYTHING of me in them, I have seen how ugly I am. I am poor and only worth the about $40 it would be if you melted me down into elements. I have no friends or close acquaintances. Even my daughter only come around when she wants something. I have not had a date in over a decade. I am invisible to women. I see death row prisoners with more people who care about them than me. Which makes me the worst person in the world. If I died tonight in this room. Nobody would know or care until the stench of my body brought somebody in. I can’t even get anybody to talk with me unless I pay for it. Let alone any woman. I have no good qualities. At least none that matters or anybody cares about. I’m not really good at anything and have nothing to offer of value. So yes, while there is nobody alive that I know that I hate. I do hate myself. With good reason. I don’t even think I am a good dad or anything else for that matter. The proof is there. If I was good at ANYTHING or attractive in any way, there would be at least a few people. But there isn’t a single person I could even email let alone call. I made a promise not to kill myself and I am afraid of dying, but other that that this was God showing what a true waste of material looks like. For comparisons’ sake. There has to be an up for a down a dark for light, and a me to show the ultimate worthless as compared to somebody really worthwhile.
Christopher White says:
oh god help me I feel like the biggest piece piece of wrecthed filth known to mankind I’m an alcoholic and I find no reason to exist any longer I’m clean/sober again now but I think I just a piece of crap I pray to god for forgivegiveness anyway I live in an extremely dangerous city lot of times at night I walk all over the city where just praying I get murdered that’ sums up my self worth I just don’t have any of it left………………its was stolen me a long time in mental institution ………………cant win em all
Anonymous says:
I hate myself. I am in top sets at school, but I’m never quite good enough to get up to the high standards. I am ugly, no one will ever like me. My friends all like me least. No one likes me best out of their friends. I used to get really angry all the time, and I still do I just hold it inside and wait till I get home to cry. My friends still judge me based off the fact that I get really emotional but I don’t anymore.
I live in one of the top rated neighbourhoods in England, my house is a lot bigger than most, I have a lot of friends, I am in top sets…
Yet I still hate.myself.
Scared says:
I don’t feel like I belong. When the others are laughing I wonder, what’s so funny? The rest understand everything I don’t. I suck at everything. Why am I even alive? The things I thought fun, they just seem to be so dull. I feel like crying when someone says something not even remotely bad. There is something wrong with me.
yeah...no says:
U keep saying pray believe and all that nonsense but it’s never enough! we as humans need purpose that emptiness comes from lack of fullfilment in life u need something that gets u up every morning excited to do. it’s so frustrating when you don’t know ur purpose and u keep saying “what am I here for” even if people love you its never enough with out purpose ur just another soul walking aimlessly around all I ask us why…. why does God see his people with such emptiness and just watch why does he really know how we feel or is he just sitted there on his “glorious throne”being all perfect and not knowing what its like to be a man. Yes they say Jesus came down but he was already perfect. He knew the joys of heaven and his purpose thus it’s hard to tempt him yet the rest of us just blindly follow wondering if there truly is something up there worth it. Maybe if we had experienced it first hand too ….but noooooo of course we had to be born here where we know nothing but sadness and heartache. This. This world is ALL we know. All we’ve ever known. Can you blame us?
Oh God…urg!😔
He gave me every thing I’ve almost ever wanted lovely home nice friends good school Money a lovely house and family. But something…..something is missing.
I guess I’m so smart and… I’m not using my smarts because of being in Africa I lack opportunities I’m not doing the course I want but what can make me survive here..😧 I want to do so much but I cant
Yeah
emanuella says:
I have a family and friends and everything i need but i feel this constant pain everytime i look at myself. i feel like I give alot to others just to please them and just to feel like im wanted. i look at myself and im honestly not happy with the person i am. i just feel ugly inside and out
Ali Riz says:
Well I might as well end it, I should’ve checked before I did something and I didn’t! PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND OTHERS SELF HATRED AND TAKE IT INTO THEIR HANDS!! IT MAKES YOU FEEL WORSE!!
Sarah says:
Why should you hate someone God loves so much? This quote stood out to me because God loved us so much and he’s given us a chance to live by dying for us💙Your beautiful,your smart,you be the best you can be and your a miracle we all make mistakes and God is there helping us through them
deaz97 says:
I’ve always been alone. I’ve never had a friend or a girlfriend, or just someone who likes me. Other people at least have someone to talk to. I have no job and I’m failing college. I don’t find motivation to do anything. I know it’s my fault, why would this happen to me and not to anyone else if it’s not my fault?
I’m not good at anything. I’m not interesting, I’m not attractive, I’m not funny, I’m not creative. I’m poor, I can barely afford food and transportation. I have nothing to look forward to and I see no future in my life.
Why would anyone like me? I have nothing to give.
I hate myself so much. I see no reason to live. The only thing that has been keeping me from killing myself is my mother. I don’t want to make her suffer. But I can’t stand this anymore I think I’m just gonna do it.
KColon says:
How are you? I hope that you are ok… want to vent?
Mikayla says:
What do I do if I hate my life because I have a sister and she is 14 and we are 4 years apart and my mom doesn’t really pay attention to me because she is with my sister and I feel like my sister hates me and that she makes up lies for me to get in trouble and I try to tell my mom but she doesn’t listen and nobody gets me
Someone says:
Today my friend told me I was extremely beautiful, then I looked up a healthy weight for my age… Im obese apparently…..
me says:
no iam really bad one i hate love and i wanna kill my self i will do it now
TheHopeLine® says:
Please know that you are worthy and you matter! If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
The Truth says:
I don’t really hate myself at all since there are so many very rotten women out there that are the ones that have a very severe mental problem which they’re the ones that really hate us men for no reason at all.
Lenora Lee says:
I am not young, I have never fit in anywhere, least of all in a church. Try as I might I can never be the person others want me to be, and in trying, I have lost the person I really am. I don’t trust people who have lied to me and platitudes are lies. I am completely alone in the world and unwanted. even by my self; I and anomaly which is just another word for freak. I will never be normal and I will never be loved.
natalie says:
i feel lonely and i dont feel loved but this article helped me understand that it isnt about feeling loved its just about having a fun life and enjoying it while you can
qr4j says:
Church makes me feel worse about myself. I never measure up. What I want and think doesn’t matter. But by golly I have to be nice to everyone else. Screw this crap!
KColon says:
I understand qr4j- I myself have those moments of feeling like I don’t measure up during service. But one thing I can tell you is that everything sometimes looks perfect on the outside for others when they themselves are battling their own issues. We have to try and feed ourself with words that don’t tear us down, there’s enough of that in the world. Make your relationship with God just that… YOURS! Don’t let what you perceive to be people’s judgment affect your relationship. Ask God to help you where you are weak and shine a light on your strengths so you can finally see that you are so much more than you could ever see.
bill says:
i really hate myself because for onething im 71 yrs old and still a stupid lousy virgin tried to kill myself a couple times im so ashamed
Anthony says:
It’s not there anymore
Anthony says:
My sanity anything I used to care about
PeterSou says:
I’m selfish, wrapped in self-pity and refuse to change. The way I behave, whatever the reason, warrants suicide. I hope I can i do it soon and stop wasting everyone’s time.
TheHopeLine® says:
Peter, You are not alone. We are here to listen. You are valued and worthy and taking your life is not the answer. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
Carlos Claudio says:
I feel as if self-loathing tends to draw us more towards the things we don’t like about ourselves. It’s like a constant visualization that we are failures, which reinforces and influences our actions. Practicing self compassion has been difficult for me lately because of this barrier of self loathing…I feel like I, as am individual, can only do more harm than good in society. I would have thoughts about how I would go down in the world as a freak, a loser, the person no one wants to associate with. Possibly even a criminal. It’s tough feeling like a prisoner of the mind because it feels so real to you…but not to anyone else. My family still marvels at what I am capable of, my friends all value me, and I’m doing well in school. But as soon as I make one teensy little mistake or do something abnormal, I’m very aware of it and try to mitigate it as fast as possible. I experience a lot of ironic rebound because of this (not thinking about something makes your mind bring it up more often), which bring more shame speak about myself.
I honestly believe that my life is useless to others no matter how it may seem to them because I can see my thoughts, and I keep feeling everyone is judging me based on my unspoken thoughts. It’s like having this all-seeing eye follow me around, watching my every move and reporting it to me, which, in public, helps me not do anything stupid…but alone, I just feel like everything I do is with wrong, even evil, intention, so I isolate myself, lock myself up in a prison of mental torment. You don’t know how obsessed I am with normalcy. I want to be normal so bad…but maybe the whole point of my existence is to be a little “off.” Of course, not in a harmful way, but the route I’m going with self loathing, that could be a possibility. I must change my attitude about myself. It is a challenge I face hourly
Andy Mason says:
This article is full empty platitudes. If you want to offer hope, try harder. I can find empty BS like this anywhere on the internet.
Dhaanish Sham says:
I’m 15 and I know I’ve got a long way to go but from the day my first crush rejected me hen I was 11 I started hating myself.Whenever something bad happens to me I feel like I want To die.No one loves me,whenever I get a good freind I get too close to him so whenever he does something it hurts a lot and I feel that he is hating me.I know u people don’t have time for a 15 year old boy like me but I really could use some help and I would love to a get a good freind or a girlfreind who would love me.
Adam B Clowater says:
I’m tired ,so tired and i feel like a joke…ive never hated myself as much as I do right now. People talk to me as I’m stupid or not worth it. I pretend to be one way but I won’t lie I just want to sleep and move on to the next . I’ve experienced the next and it horrible.
TheHopeLine® says:
Adam, You are not a joke, you’re valuable and worthy! If you ever feel like you’re at the end of your rope and need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. You are not alone we are here to help. Never give up on yourself!
Rahie Ismail says:
Everyday is a day I remind myself, that I’ve done better than my past. That I’ve overcome my fears and fought off people who thought bad of me. Every day is a day I forgive people for having done wrong by me. Not for them but for myself so that I can move on. Everyday I tell myself that I’ve come a long way from how I was and I’ve made myself better and that I could do better. I remind myself of the choices I have made and learn from it everyday just to keep myself sane. Just to keep me from killing myself. I keep myself busy to stop my mind from thinking. Cause when I think, I only blame myself and only wish for it all to end.
TheHopeLine® says:
You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that will call you and help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. If you are looking for international resources you can find them here http://iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Adam says:
I feel like I’m cursed because ever since I can remember bad crap has always happened to me and hasn’t stopped i know life is hard being bullied every day of your life and then when I got home I got beaten up by my farther and mentally tortured for being bullied and then I went through my parents divorce seen my mother shooting heroine in front of me when I was 11 always being told that my mother was a prostitute and my love life has never been great I found the love of my life and she left with my best friend and with my kid and then I was rapped 3 times and had it twisted by two of them and on top of that I have always dragged my self down and it’s sent me crazy I’ve asked for help and I get pushed away all the time because I’m disabled no one cares so that’s why I want to kill myself and that’s only a few things that have happened in my life and now I’m 21 and crap still hasn’t gotten better I’m starting to feel like what’s the point and I’ll say my name it Adam I’ve told people the crap that’s happened to me and they’ve asked me how have I coped this long now I’m starting to ask myself the same question if lost my family and everything along the way plzzz give me a reason to carry on?
TheHopeLine® says:
Adam, You have been through much and know that you are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
tilly says:
i hate myself so much now that i have hurt myself its been 2 weeks since the last time i thought i was getting better until i fell down my rabbit hole again i cry every night wake up in the night having a mini panic attack i just lost the boy I like because he likes me but i don’t know why so stopped it i don’t know if my family even like me it seems like my dad likes me but i can tell he doesn’t because he acts different to me then my sister it sounds like he cares more about her know my mum cares but she thinks I’m okay when I’m not when i look at my wrists all i can see is blood a slits and when I’m in the bath i hold my breathe once i was so close but then i thought about my little brother , he’s the only one that is stopping me because i dont want him to have a horrible life because his big sister killed herself i want him to be proud of me but how is that possible because i have nothing going for me my mum wants me to go spas which is like a therapist but for kids with sadness my teachers try to help but they don’t sometimes i just want them to realise that I’m broken and that i can’t be fixed
tilly says:
i just want to die at this point . my family is messed up, they say they are trying to help me but they aren’t , my dad cares more about my sister and my brother then me , my mum thinks i can talk to this women and everything will be better my sister know that i self harm myself every so often but she said her life is worst , my friends try but fail , they blame crap on me and then i feel like crap, the say there fat which must mean I’m massive , they say they are ugly so i must be hideous , the boy i like thinks i hate him but i dint i just hate the way he likes me because i don’t even like me , hate the I’m fat because if i try to loose weight i end up being called fat so i give up i give up on everything home, friends , family , life
TheHopeLine® says:
Tilly, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Natalie says:
I hate myself and I tried to kill myself. I don’t know who to tell or what I should do. If I tell anyone they’ll just tell their parents. I can’t tell my parents because they won’t understand. What should I do?
TheHopeLine® says:
You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
jeff_s66111 says:
I don’t hate myself. I hate life. Yes, it is possible to believe you ARE worthy of better, but God refuses to allow it. Therefore, I hate life because it’s something I want no part of and was never given the choice to choose or reject. I was forced to be born and I’ve hated almost every minute of it.
Leslie says:
I gave up my kids for adoption because at the time i was a heavy drug user an alcoholic! An i knew in my soul i would never stop! But long be hold i did well atleast with the drugs i still drink from time to time but when i do i lose my self because of the of all the regret an self hate!!
I have a pretty good life, decent job an man that loves me an my lovey Boi (my dog). But something in the back of my mind keeps telling u dnt deserve this ur horrible person how can u be happy now after u gave up your kids because u was to selfish to take care of them!! I dont know what to do anymore its so bad im about to lose everything! An i dont know how to get passed these feelings!!
Kik says:
My mom died 2 years ago and I was so sad and I felt depressed so I hid it but my sister fed the same and told the world and I was in a foster home and I was so stupid I didn’t see I was hurting them now they hate me and I hate myself I don’t know what to do but inside I wish I was dead and never existed cause if I didn’t no one would be hure right now even my mom would be alive cause when she became pregnant with me she got cancer so it is my fault and a family wouldn’t be apart now
Princesa Chavez says:
Hi it helped alot thanks
shadowchief 50 says:
I still hate myslef everyone hates me only have 1 friend and we don’t talk anymore, I keep making my girlfriend mad and I hatr myself for it what do I do
Nobody says:
I hate myself not only because I’m ugly, but I have no friends. My boyfriend is constantly saying he’s going to leave me if I do this one more time or do that. But it’s all about because of how I feel about myself. I always look at everyone as if they are so much better than I am, & I don’t know why. I feel like I haven’t been loved in so long & I just need someone that’s going to listen without telling me to shut up. I think I’m giving up once my boyfriend leaves me I have nothing I am nothing to anyone and it’s time
Loser says:
Idk what’s wrong with me. I am horrible. I push everyone away and I’m always annoyed/annoying. I’m just done at this point but it’s not like I wanna die. I mean I enjoy life I have friends but I feel like everyone secretly hates me.
JSA says:
Positive attitudes don’t help depression…
louise swift says:
Some times i hate myself because i have all these scars on my body that i have to look at each day i was burned i was eleven years old at the time but i also i can’t walk i use a walker a wheelchair
Dashan s Nichols says:
\say that again
nils says:
I’ve never found “but you exist, so there!!!” To be a compelling argument, let alone one that can turn around emotions that are completely proofed against even the most logical of arguments. I’m willing to bet real money that the same goes for anyone who hates themselves as much as I hate myself, regardless of their religiousity.
Mark says:
What if God hates you too?
Don says:
deal with it.
Fred says:
That’s impossible that’s a satanic ploy
Precious says:
I’ve been called ugly many times in my life and it’s always been by guys, so I haven’t had that much boyfriends, some days I don’t care some days I just want to cry my eyes out and never stop, and my family doesn’t make me feel better about myself so that’s why I really hate myself. And I don’t have that much friends in school.
Fred says:
You can’t be ugly if God made you
Rudy says:
I hate myself because my ex wife kept my daughter from me. She lied to her and to everyone because I wanted a divorce. I want to die every day, I can’t seem to move on with my life. I’m a failure.
Fred says:
Feel the same way I’m always screwing up vis my anger management issues
Roselyn says:
I’m going through Therapy but it’s not working g. I hate me for allowing my roommate and her friends to steal my choice and my innocence from me .I lost someone 20 years ago and I want her back.
Tia Moore says:
i understand im a mother of four n i lost 2 so technically a mother of 6 i lost myself at least four years ago very smart n strong then but ive let people down i love n care for they always thought i was stronger then i was im so tired of being stronger then i was i’ve been so upset n broken i let my kids down n they hate me n the one person i love the most besides all my kids that equal to her is my mother i feel like i disappointed her the same as my kids so why even be here please i love my kids all of them n my mom sorry i wasnt as strong as i came off i love yall
Megs says:
I hate myself because I push people who I care about away
Sarah says:
I just wanted to know what to do if you hate yourself. I guess I hate myself because I seem to mess everything up and quite honestly got myself into a situation that I’m not happy in and… everyone else hates me so I was wondering how to fix it… I guess I should stop trying because I probably would just make it worse. I don’t want to complain but I need someone and no one is there for me not even the people who think they are. I really just need a friend
Fred says:
I know the feeling I feel that I can’t get out of my own way. I’m tired of asking God to forgive me I feel as if I let Him down too. It never ends…
Sarah says:
Hey Sarah. My name is Sarah too and I hate myself too. The best advise I can give you is turn to God because he loves you unconditionally. I know that’s easier said than done but God does test us and our patience through calamity. I hate to say I’m glad there’s people out there that hate themselves as much as I do, but at the same time I hope we all get better. Learn some coping skills, be yourself, and if they don’t love you for you somebody someday will. I hope this helps. You always have me as a friend even though I do not know you, but I feel your pain and understand.
J says:
I hate myself because I KNOW I can be an amazing person. I have a lot of things I am very good at, but growing up everyone I knew told me I was going to be something great. Teachers and parents and peers would ask me when I was going to start bringing in that sweet cash from the cool art I was going to make, the movies I’d be in, the spotlight. But thanks to trauma and mental illness I had to move to a place to try and fix myself because I tried to kill myself !!!!!!! fun !!!!!!! I can’t look the people that physically restrained me in the eye anymore thanks to my shame !!!!!!! fun !!!!!!!!!
Now my dreams seem so far away now, and they were so close before !!!! I was talking with people !!!!!! I was making connections !!!!! People liked me and they liked my work and I was so ready !!!!! but thanks to family life I had no control over I got fucked up in the head !!!!!!! I couldn’t work without trauma coming back and keeping me from focus, so I just sit here !!!!!! Now I’m working a retail job on the other side of the country I’m broke as shit and I can’t even sketch without a voice in the back of my brain telling me to stop because I lost. I failed. I don’t have the spark anymore.
jokullfrerg says:
I’m going through some tough times right now I though it stopped. I spent all my summer thinking if the world would be a better place without me and I even asked myself where and whats the best way to end my life. After summer it stopped I started enjoying life again but its all coming back now i start thinking the same things again and again i’m starting to push myself away from everyone because i don’t want anyone to miss me when i leave for good but I can’t…I even tried committing suicide a while ago. I hate my body and soul I don’t have anyone to talk to and every time I go home I put on a fake smile and say i’m fine while i’m screaming of pain inside I feel like i’m in a prison cell without bars but instead there is a invisible force keeping me away from being happy with myself.
Barbara Carter says:
I have allways hated myself God even hates me I don t want to be here
thehopeline says:
Barbara, God loves you just the way you are. You are valuable and worthy in His eyes. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Jenny says:
I hate myself because I’m allowing myself to be used by someone I feel sorry for.
Rich says:
I hate myself.
I’m ugly I wish I was never born.
We see beautiful thing everyday in a sunset or a sunrise or a moon lite night.
When I look in a mirror I scream WHY GOD this is how you made me look, just take me back and fix it
make it right please or just take me home. Started at age 9 now I’m 50 always single
The feeling is pure sadness, empty, defeated, it’s hard being positive when you feel
left out like you’ve missing something great. People can’t see inner beauty or the inner US or confidence at first .
They see US, an feeling or looking unattractive doesn’t help.
If you where GOD I’d ask with all that there is WHY?
I love all of this world I like my mind and I love my family but I hate my voice, I hate my face, I hate my body.
WHY?
Nichole | Wildly Alive says:
” There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn’t that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.”- Such powerful words! Thank you for this reminder. It is really possible to overcome this low self esteem. maybe it takes a long period of time and its difficult. But it is really possible. You just have to do it.
Nao says:
I spend time helping people, but I get hurt in return and get told bad words, everything I have done or said has been twisted.. That’s why it hurts a lot, I never been hurt, what if what they say about is true…My hard work base been flashed to the toilet… Every thing use dark..I never been in a such place..
Yozora says:
I hate myself because I feel like no one likes me.
I hate myself because I don’t feel like I am being loved.
I hate myself because I blame on others too often.
I hate myself because my English is not good and I let my parents down.
I hate my family because they can’t give me anything.
I hate myself because I can’t accomplish anything.
I hate myself because I can’t have what I want.
I hate myself because my emotions control me too much.
I don’t think I hate myself because I do not;
I just hate that life didn’t give me the amount of care that I needed.
I hate myself because I like being different and nobody cares about me being different.
I hate myself because I can’t do what I want to do.
I hate myself because I set goals that I can not achieve.
I hate myself because I can’t get all A’s in all my classes.
I hate myself because I don’t feel like doing homework.
I hate myself because no one compliments me on anything I do when others feel like it’s my nature to compliment them.
I hate myself because everything is always because of myself.
No, I don’t hate myself; I hate others.
Lindy Um says:
i hate myself because Im always in a middle of the fight
i hate myself because of my low grades for Chinese
i hate myself because i let my parents down
i hate myself for being scared to lose friends
i hate myself because i cant control my emotions
i hate myself because i cant tell anyone in the world about my TRUE feelings
i hate myself because of that Im not skinny
i hate myself because i cant stand up for myself
i hate myself because Im too weak with my words
i hate myself because Im too nice
i hate myself because i lost my best friend
i hate myself because i don’t know what to do when i am so stressed and sad
i hate myself because i made friends with people who do self harm
i hate myself because i get 0 support
i hate myself because i cant get any hope most of the times
i hate myself because my friend that i can only really open my self to is far away from me
i am disappointed with my parents because they give me no support
i am disappointed with my parents because they are really biast
i hate my friends because they don’t support me
i hate my friends because they get mad at me when i support them and they get mad at me when i dont
i hate my teachers because they only like the most smartest students
i hate my life because i’m not sure about my career
i hate myself because i cant do anything
i love myself because i can at least have some minutes a day to look at BTS
i love myself because i respect everyone
i love myself because i know who i am
i wish i can have someone to tell my feelings
John Doe says:
Well i certainly don’t hate myself which i really hate God for punishing me by not giving me a good wife and family that i really wanted instead of being a single and very lonely man today. It would’ve been really great for a good single man like me to have a good woman to share my life with since so many billions of other people in this world have really been very blessed and lucky to have that which really makes their life so very much complete. And being a single man has a lot of disadvantages unfortunately since we really are all alone wherever we decide to go which is no fun at all either. Try eating out in a restaurant for example all by yourself, and most of the time we feel like an outcast since people will stare at you like you really don’t belong there. Most people are very rotten in this world anyway the way that i look at it unfortunately. God created just too many very evil and nasty women nowadays too which makes it very hard for many of us good single men looking for love. There are times when we will get Cursed at by these women for No Reason at all when we will just try to start a normal conversation with them by just saying Good Morning Or Hello to hopefully get to know them better. And i already had this happened to me already and so have other friends that i know as well. And it is a real shame that God didn’t create women like the good old days when Most of the women in those days were certainly Real Ladies and the very complete opposite of today which it definitely would’ve been very easy meeting a good woman to settle down with. I will certainly admit that being single really does suck altogether since it really has many disadvantages like i mentioned already. A very bad time for many of us good men trying to find love these days since we really can Blame the type of women out there that God created today unfortunately.
Billy Thornton says:
Seems like the common denominator in the problems you described is yourself. You need to do a personal inventory and some serious self-reflection before you can expect to find a meaningful relationship.
The way you talk about women is disgusting and ill-willed. You should start your self-reflection with that.
Sincerely,
“good men”
Morgan says:
I hate myself because I procrastinate, and I often miss my deadlines for assignments.
I hate myself because my arms are chubby and my stomach sticks out a little too much.
I hate myself because I allow my emotions to control me.
I hate myself because I often succumb to peer pressure.
I hate myself because my laugh is absolutely stupid.
I hate myself because I let everyone in my life down.
I hate myself because I have panic attacks too often.
I hate myself because others see themselves in me.
I hate myself because I miss my friends.
I hate myself because I’m not beautiful.
I hate myself because I don’t know how to relax.
I hate myself because, well, I hate myself.
thehopeline says:
Morgan, You are beautiful, worthy and loved. The Lord is with you through the pain. He comforts you in the waiting. When you’re anxious about your future, He gives you courage. As you climb the mountain, He keeps you safe in His arms. In every moment, God is with you. We care and are here to listen.
Peter21 says:
I hate myself, because I feel ugly, worthless and miserable most of the time. I hate myself because, I succumb to my rage and make others feel bad. I hate myself for feeling jealous, lonely, insecure, beaten, stupid, smart, pretty, ugly… I really, just hate myself and I wish that no one else would experience me; I wish I was dead.
thehopeline says:
Peter, Please don’t give up. Giving in to your anger is human and there are ways to learn how to deal with the rage. There are people that care. God loves you just the way you are. You are valuable and worthy in His eyes. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. How about chatting online with one of our HopeCoaches at ttps://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ they will listen and help you through this. We are proud of you for reaching out to talk about how you feel. You have to take the first step…now to continue to talk and open up to heal. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts too. We have a partner that you can help you through this as well and we are emailing you with some information to help you. So please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Amy says:
I hate myself because lately I feel like I can’t do anything right. I feel like I cant forgive myself for making mistakes and that nobody else can too.
Jade says:
I just hate myself, I don’t know why, and I don’t know how to find out why. I’m insecure and feel like people are stealing away those I love, which they aren’t, and if they knew that I felt that way they’d either hate me or… I don’t know what they’d do. I don’t like this at all… nor do I really want to deal with it anymore. I kinda just want to go back to being alone…
chloe says:
i hate myself I am stupid ugly and an idiot also I am really small I’m 4ft 6 inches and i look like a 10 year old! I seriously hate myself and I need help
Arc says:
Chole, you are amazing, and you probably don’t even realize it. Don’t say those things about yourself!
PrSa says:
You must have a beautiful soul, please keep on loving yourself <3 🙂 You are more loved than you think!
John says:
So let me get this clear… Your only answer is god? What if your a not believer?
Elara says:
I literally am super uglu and dumb …. why me ?
Amrit says:
Its not about ur beauty and dumbness….i think this is the way u are….u should proud of this tht if u r ugly no one else is like u..start loving urself ..no one is like u in this world….wht u cn do no one else can do that
Life's a Bitch says:
Hades!!! I’ve attempted suicide twice—been in therapy—saw over 20 “professionals” helped buy them new Mercedes each—was alll the good it done—I am balding and cannot build muscles—I am doomed with females—-
Annette Hankins says:
Dawson I’m glad you have this website and have published a book to help people deal with self-hatred. I too am trying to help as many people as I can. Blessings to you.
Shailja says:
I have suffered depression and mental breakdown for 3 years in a row! I don’t feel relaxed even after that because all my friends and loved ones have started to hate and avoid me for the blunders I did. I am totally distracted and not able to concentrate on building my career but yes! now feeling better….Thank you!
Mike says:
I have a compartment in my mind that works against the rest. I am constantly getting flashbacks of bad things I’ve done/said as a child, and I don’t have the defensive weapons you all have to defend against bullies. I’ve been shouted at and punished my whole life and get those flashbacks too, about fifty a day. I’m too sensitive for a man and have been bullied by females because of it, and been made to feel like that’s a crime. My personality has been under attack for years and I’m always scared knowing the next bully can come any time. I will be fifty years old soon.
Miranda says:
There are many people in this world who like to kick people when they’re down to make themselves feel like they’re better than you… It’s a shame that you have been judged unfairly and brought down even further rather than someone try to get to know you and lift you up. You are in my heart.
Jessica Mack says:
I’ve been bullied and talked down to my whole life. I am finally with someone that loves me and treats me real good, but no matter what I do I am insecure about my own body and I feel like I’m to fat for him
Samantha Escobar says:
Honestly, if he loves you, then tell yourself that in his eyes, your worth it. Keep thinking of this, and of the things he does to make you feel loved or wanted and reassure yourself that to him your worth it. That all the other people who suck, suck!
Him and you are worth it.
❤️
Maureen says:
I hate myself. I hate myself so much that it’s always on my mind. It makes living very hard. Then I hate myself for saying that. It would be easier to not be here. Thank God for my husband and the three best kids in the entire solar system.🌾
Maggie says:
Sometimes when I get yelled at I feel like I’m not worth living or I’m not good enough for my family and I’m scared to open up about and I have never gone to my school concler even though I know he can help me so I just try to think about God and me knowing that he lov s me even though I’m not the best or normal. This article helped me understand my self worth.
chase says:
hey, my name is chase, I’m not allowed to share my name with you, but… I think your article might actully help me, i am in school so i might get callt (i forgot how to spell it) so lets just hope i don’t get callt, and thank you, for the article, i think it might help me. so ya. thanks for the article that you put out there. it might help me (999,999,999,999 % help me…) thanks. bye now.
Judah says:
Good I’m going through a hard time to in school but I think I suck wich is better in my eyes
Amelie says:
I feel like I’m ugly and that no one wants to be around me and it’s really depressing also I’m struggling with my sexuality it’s really hard. sometimes and I have wanted to hurt myself I won’t go into detail… so I have talked to my youth pastor and he encourages me to tell my parents but I still haven’t… please help!
thehopeline says:
Amelie, You are not alone in what you are feeling. We are here to listen and help you through this. We are glad you talked to your youth pastor. He was right to encourage you to talk to your parents. We do understand the difficulty to do this. If you are self-harming we have a partner that can help you with this at https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ They have recovery coaches that you can text for help with self-injury. Also, would you be open to chat online with one of our HopeCoaches? It will help to continue talking about what you’re going through. To Chat online go to https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Margaret says:
I have felt like I was not loved by my family but I now know that is not true because of this article and I try to remember that I am a important part of someone’s life (especially my family’s life) I now know that I can cry and just let out my emotions. It always helps then sometimes I say to my mom,” I feel like everyone hates me that is why I’m always so sad and my emotions get triggered so easily.” So I think it helps to talk to someone so they can help you. So now I know that I am a important piece to someone’s life and that I am great just the way I am! From😭 To 🙂. That is how much this article helped me I also hope it helped you as well(I am actually in elementary school crazy right?)
Brooke Webster says:
I am coming out of a oppressive occult cult online I was forced to join n need my Lord Gods forgiveness and hope n guidance n protection for me n my family
thehopeline says:
Brooke, You have been through much.you are not alone. Would you be open to online chat with a HopeCoach tonight? To chat click on the “GetHelp” button or go to https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ They will listen and pray with you. We are praying for protection for you and your family. We emailed you with some resources that may help you too. So please check your email.
Judah says:
I’m going through a hard time and I think I’m a misfit and a mistake
Judah says:
I think I suck and I’m a miss take and I’m a waste of space in the world and I’m 11 years old I need help with a lot like moving and where and when.
thehopeline says:
Judah, You are valuable and you matter in this world. Don’t give up. We are here to listen and help you through this. We believe in you. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
BDC says:
You’re just a kid, 11 years old is way way to young to hate yourself, u have your whole life ahead of you
Marie says:
These feelings have no age minimum. I wanted to commit suicide when I was 8 years old. No amount of saying “you have your whole life ahead of you” is going to change a mental health disorder like depression.
Cadence says:
I hate myself. I loathe myself. I absolutely despise myself. Nobody ever likes me, or ever will. No amount of being told I’m important does anything. I want to just stop burdening people with my existence and stop seeing myself in the mirror. I’m not cool, or popular, or good at anything. There is no point to me existing. I absolutely hate myself. I will never be enough. Everyone will always be better than me. I wish I could be cool and confident, but I can’t. I am the most stupid fat ugly person on the planet. I hate myself.
Dean Ricciardulli says:
I have responded to these types of posts before, to be clear it’s ok to hate yourself, as both love and hate live in us, on and within a spectrum. No matter what, you are a person with thoughts and feelings and as long as you know that you don’t particularly care, or hate yourself (whatever it is you stand for), you adapt your lifestyle to these normal self hatred characteristics instead of force changing who you are for something else that is not an inherent part of your core makeup.
To be clear, I hate myself-and always have, and I recognized it, and as such, I have been able to carve out a great life for myself through understanding this internal core hatred matrix makeup, and instead of denying it, and it being a negative for me, I have leveraged this self-dislike or hatred of myself to my advantage. By simply understanding this concept about yourself, you can too move ahead being content and ok with hating yourself, it’s not that big a deal, just keep it on the love-hate spectrum and you will be fine.
Cheers
Eva says:
I hate myself. I really do. I always brake rules and try to fit in but it never works. At my school we are not allowed to play tag but I do anyway. I was playing freeze tag one day and I thought someone was frozen so I said are you frozen? He said no (probably because he didn’t want me to touch him). Then somebody else came and asked the same question as me and she untaged him and he was fine. That is not the only reason I hate myself. I also do because my mom expects more from me but I’m very young and she yells at me sometimes and it makes my heart break because I love her more than she loves me. There is was more reasons too but I can not say. I want to kill myself but I am scared to because I don’t want to hurt myself and also I want to go to heaven. My dad died when I was 4 so I don’t remember anything and I miss him so if I kill myself I won’t be able to see him again because he is in heaven and I would be in hell. Please help I really hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
justine says:
I hope you’re feeling better. My mom always yelled at me too when i was younger and she still does lol! You get to live a whole life away from your mom one day. Don’t give up, do your best and make your dad smile up there! Then you’ll be able to smile together in heaven!
Greg says:
Hey, I hope you are feeling better. When I was a kid my dad used to yell at me a lot, and I felt a bit like you do. As I got older I realised that a lot of the time when he yelled it was because he was worried about me doing something that would hurt or damage my chances later. As a kid I felt like he was angry a lot, but later I realised it was because a lot of the time he was scared for me. Now I’m an adult and have little kids of my own. Sometimes I see them doing something dangerous or dumb that they don’t realise is bad for them, and I yell at them, because I’m scared of them getting hurt – plus it is stressful having to work a job to provide them food, clothes, as good a life as I can. Your mum thought she would raise a family with your dad but lost him, and things are probably pretty tough for her. It’s more than likely that your mum loves you very much and is doing her best to keep you safe and give you the best life she can, and just gets scared for you sometimes and stressed that she can’t give you more – I hope that is true, anyway. Stay strong, hang in there, life can be hard but also very rewarding and there are incredible things out there waiting for you to discover them.
jael says:
i hate myself to because i always put people who says they want to be my friend but then they go behind my back and i fell the same way. and tat is what happen to me once.