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Why Do People End Their Life by Suicide?

The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.

How to Handle Suicidal Thinking

Talking About Suicide Save Lives

I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:

  • pain
  • loneliness
  • rejection
  • abuse
  • guilt
  • depression
  • helplessness
  • hopelessness

More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?

Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?

For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.

Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.

Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.

So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.

Don’t Believe the Lies…You Matter

It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.

Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.

Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. “I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I’ll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It’s as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right.” There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.

Reach Out to Talk About the Pain…Never Give Up

Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don’t want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, “Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain.” It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.

Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it’s my only choice anymore. I know it’s not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can’t move on with this life anymore.

Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors

If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.

Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can’t find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.

Mandy also wrote: “Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall… “

Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you’re thinking, “I just want the pain to stop”, let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.

  1. I am tired. I’m tired of working two jobs yet still can’t afford to move out on my own, let alone pay all my bills. I am tired of missing my Dad who passed pretty suddenly 3yrs ago. I’m tired of my boyfriend of 5 yrs verbally assaulting me every time I say or do the wrong thing (everyday). I recently broke my right ankle and I’ve had to really rely on him for everything lately, he says he doesn’t mind helping me but then he screams at me if I ask him for help too often. I’m tired of living in my boyfriends parents basement, with no real means of being able to move out in the foreseeable future. His parents are hoarders so bc of that I am embarrassed to have friends over. I am tired of trying to clean our home just to have it filled up with trash just as quickly as I get one room clean. I am tired of having to hide the verbal abuse from my family and friends, all because he doesn’t want other people to think ill of him. I really feel like maybe I was only put on this earth to be shit on by most of the people I love. It often feels like I have no other choice.

    • Lindsey, We sent you an email and hope you have talked to someone about how your feeling of wanting to end your life. We want you to know that you matter and you are valuable no matter how you feel. There is only one person in this world like you and you are unique and loved. Please continue to seek out help by calling us at 800.394.4673 or chatting with a HopeCoach at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. You can also find help at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

  2. I’m 32 yrs old. I have never been married, and I have no kids. It feels like all of my friends are getting married, buying houses, having kids and making good enough money that they only have to work one job. I’m tired of working my ass off only to have nothing to show for it. I often think that I am a burden to everyone. My boyfriend always tells me that I’m stupid, pathetic, crazy, he even told me today that I’m a cancer that is just sucking the life out of him and he is just tired of dealing with me. I feel totally trapped. Like nothing I do will ever be good enough for him. I’ve never cheated on him, never stolen, never asked him to buy me anything more than dinner or cigarettes here and there. I don’t go out with my friends anymore because he thinks I’ll go out and cheat on him. I never go anywhere without him except to work. I am afraid to tell my family about the way he treats me bc I want them to like him. It’s so hard to keep all this to myself all the time. I am embarrassed that I let him treat me like this, I wish I was confident enough to leave him and move on with my life. I don’t have the money to move out on my own anyway. Even if I did leave him, I don’t think I could stand to be alone again. I feel like at least if I died, I wouldn’t have to feel so sad and alone anymore. I can’t take the abuse, the depression, the sadness or the loneliness anymore. Sure some people might be sad, but I’m sure they’d all get over it eventually. I love them all so much, my mom my granddad, my brother, my aunts and uncles, and maybe even my boyfriend. I just hope that if i do this, they’ll take solace in knowing that I’m no longer in pain, and I’m safe, and nobody could ever hurt me again. I can’t hang on much longer.

    • Lindsey..i hope yr still here to read this…no one ‘eventually gets over it’ if u did it….u are being abused and every second u stay in that world u are permitting the abuse….get out of there immediately…..seek the Lord for strength…there are agencies to offer shelter. .U seem to spk highly if ye family..dont u think they wd help u?…pray pray pray and pray some more…i know from where i speak…God did not put u here to endure this abuse…ask God for strength and courage…simeone out

      • Hit post too soon…
        Tried to say..someone out there needs you.
        Dont give in or give up.
        Life gets better..have faith on yrself and mostly in God.
        God bless xo

    • You shouldn’t have to let him abuse you.You deserve better.

    • I am so sorry for all of you. YOU need to get away from this abusive relationship. No husband, no kids, you can be as free as a bird. Get away from this abusive relationship. It is better to be alone for a while and learn to love yourself. Then, someone will come into your life and love you for who you are. At least you will have peace of mind away from this abuser. You are better than that. Everyone is! Go home to your parents, go to a shelter, a church, the police, anything.

  3. I’m thinking of doing it because I love them, I don’t want to be a burden on them anymore.

    • I dont know if youve come back to this sight to read if anyone has replied to you. You are not unnoticed.

      • I just want to tell everyone that there is hope for everyone. I lost a son on July 5,2014
        I have 3 sons living and my wife. Its a struggle everyday going through the motions and now my oldest is having problems ever since this tragedy . Just pray to god to help you . Talk to a friend, a pastor, a co worker anyone life does get better.. peace be with you … David..(nola)

  4. I am a 54 year old mother of 2 girls. The day of their births was the best days of my life. I felt ecstatic and so filled with joy! My daughters would never be a burden to me. I love them unconditionally which means in any situation or circumstance. Your mom feels so much love for you. Reach out to her. The year ahead may be the best days of your life. Surround yourself with positive people. Find a church. Jesus gives us hope. Take baby steps of positive change. Each step will lead to a brighter tomorrow. Never give up. You deserve the very best life has to offer. God bless you!

    • I have suffered from depression for many years , on and of.I had a fiance who comttited suicide by hanging! i am still suffering through all of this , 30 years later. Now, i go through much sorrow with other things in life such as , taking care of mom with dementia and have her give all her money away while i was her only child and am caring for her 24/7 now. Divorce of betrayel and scam and more . Yes , i do have thought of this however, i am trying to be strong and hope things will change or i will die naturally ! It is a sin you know to do suicide ! I should mention , i have tried in the past , it only left me with much regret and knowlege and to be thankful to God ! i should have been dead , i was in a coma for a week.

  5. My father committed suicide 4 years ago in his bedroom with a shotgun loaded with a Turkey load. I don’t understand why. We are a small family and he was my best friend. He did not leave a note. We all went to church he was saved he was the best father my sister and I could ever be blessed with. He was a Christian man, lived a good life. Never had financial issues, never late on a bill in his life. He left my mother and me & my sister. My mom has never worked a day in her life. We went to our church for counseling and was told the devil took our strongest link….What???? That’s it. It feels like someone ripped our hearts out. Not a day goes by I ask Jesus to please give me a sign as to where he is. We were taught committing suicide is a sin. Did he pray before he pulled the trigger if so did it matter??? It feels like he has been gone a life time. I also feel he set a bad example for his family on how to handle stress….this is not the way. It gets easier with time but the question WHY will never be never be solved. If anyone is thinking of committing suicide please think twice. Things will always get better, it really is a long term solution to a short time problem. I feel for families that have suffered thru such a tragedy. We never once gave one thought this would ever happen to our family. The ones left behind truly suffer the most. God bless.

    • My Brother-in-law a few days ago hung himself. He was 26 years old and left behind my Sister and his 4 year old son. Im doing his eulogy today at 5. He was also a believer who knew Christ at one time but he begin to slip away from the Lord.

      • Afriend, so sorry for you loss. Thank you so much for reaching out to other here and sharing hope and help. You are your family are in our thoughts and prayers. It is a blessing that you were able to do his euolgy. May the Lord continue to give the entire family peace and comfort in the days to come.

    • The only unforgivable sin I know of is to blaspheme the Holy Spirit.In other words is to deny the work of the Holy Spirit and call it Satan’s work.In my faith,grave psychological disturbances can diminish the responsibility.Only God can judge.So we pray for them.

    • Sorry for your loss,keep god in your heart

  6. Well I was in car accident got a compression fracture. My back hurts so bad I do want to end my life.. my brother beat the shit out of me first before I was trying to leave…. I usually go to walmart parking lot to sleepor get away from the abuse but it keeps going on my family hates me but my sister never belives whst I tell her was true so I thought of a dying declaration will be suitable for all even my so called friends that care about me

    • My Brother-in-law hung himself a few days ago and felt nobody cared… There are so many people that are coming to his funeral today, many have sent food and helped financially. People do care Lishia. I wouldnt reply if I didnt. Im going to do his eulogy and bury him today but im on this computer replying to you. People care so much its just that you dont know it becuase the situation blurrs all that out.

  7. What if you feel like no one cares because that’s how they act. Actions speak so much louder than words. Many people go to funerals for the ones left behind and not the one who has passed. Often, I feel invisible. I think about suicide every single day. I know no one wants to hear about it. I tried talking about it before and received terrible reviews.

    • The pain that you are feeling won’t last, everything is temporary. Don’t give up on yourself, imagine what potential you might have, the effects of your actions, however small can be magnified, so YOU do matter, perhaps you just haven’t realised it yet. Don’t compare yourself to ANYONE, you are unique and wonderful in your own way, that’s a fact even though I don’t know you… It’s an amazing thought that individuality… The smallest thing can have immeasurable power, and each individual has that. Please anyone considering taking your own life… Think about that, your unknown potential… And it’s unknown because it needs to be discovered, which is what we live for. Someone I knew, not particularly well, but still, their suicide shocked and alarmed me, because I saw a beautiful wonderful person, who seemed to have so much to offer to the world, to themselves. Obviously she couldn’t see it herself, and I probably cannot imagine how that is to have lost that faith, belief in oneself… The very thought that individuals lives are cut short from discovering that potential, scares me so much, especially since the world seems to be fuelled by money and power. False ideologies, in my opinion. My advice, you feel alone, find someone to talk to, even if it’s a stranger in the street, ask for help, write a long list with all your positive attributes… Argh i don’t know what else to say, it saddens me so much that people take their own lives… And I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking that… The world will miss you, even if you think no one else will.

      • I wanna start a new life

  8. there are time where i was thinking about dying myself, but due to the religion that i practice, it is really not an option, but when i think about why? it is because that, when i feel like it, i have a thought saying that, when i died, people will appreciate me more, start to realize what they have been missing, they will miss me, and realize that they have take me for granted, but that was a long time ago, after seeing people that actually commit suicide, i understand that this people are actually running away from problem, they took the easy way out, irresponsible, and the truth is that, people will not appreciate, people will not be missing anything, they will find someone else for granted and move on, and worse, people who commit suicide die for nothing.

    • Let me tell you something when you die maybe they will cry maybe they will appreciate you but you will be dead what you will gain and if they really don’t care they won’t even cry in your funeral so stop thinking about that you are so special and maybe I don’t know you but I know that there is a person loves you alot it is god and there is person who cares it is me

    • Committing suicide is not an “easy way out”. I can’t stand to hear people say this. How easy is it to get a rope throw it over a beam, tie it specifically, jump up on that block and kick it away? There’s a lot of time that passes in all of that and I am sure a lot of thoughts that are not “easy”…

      • You are right, committing suicide is not an easy way out. We understand and we want to listen. Remember our HopeCoaches are available 24/7 on phone or chat 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE). And check out our latest guest blog from Centerstone. It has some great ways to be proactive when you are feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. https://www.thehopeline.com/6-steps-to-change-your-life/

    • At least the pain is gone.

  9. im 16 years old and I’ve thought about suicide alot, I know it’s not what I should do but I feel like that’s what I should do, I want to cause I’m tired of the pain and dealing with stuff but I don’t want to do it, I’ve tried 3 times last year, my life’s hell I’ve been kicked out 4 times over stupid little stuff, I go to school to hear the same people run there mouths and they even make fun of me for trying to kill myself last year, I don’t even know how they found out and I can’t fight them to get them to stop cause I’m on probation intill I’m 21 because of skipping so much school last year, and Yeah I went to the principal about it, I pretty much live with one of my friends in a small apartment with 11 people cause my parents pretty much don’t want me around because of everything i cause and I have no where else to go, every time I go somewhere the cops stop and harass me, like yesterday I was sitting on a curb waiting for my friend to come back for I can ride with him back to the house cause I have to climb 820 steps to get to the top of the hill and the cops came along and searched me and cussed me and stuff, and Friday night at a football game me and 2 of my friends got searched and now I have to do 8 hours of community service at school during lunch because I had snuff, and yesterday I walked to dollar store to buy me something to eat and drink because there’s pretty much nothing to eat at the house and I was walking down the stairs to go back towards the house and one of the cops stopped and accused me of shop lifting the mtn dew and milkyway and beef jerky so I had to walk back to the store with him to prove I paid for it because I didn’t get a receipt, I mean I can’t even walk threw town anymore because I’m scared that they will stop me, last year in October my best friend and my cousin killed himself, it was at his sisters house, he was leaving and I was goin with him and when I was walking to his car he shot him self in front of me, he was the only one that was there for me for years and now hes gone, then I found my uncle hanging from the ceiling in January, and then my cousin Cody was coming to get me and coming up the hill to my house he rolled his truck and I ran down there and dragged him out and called an ambulance, he died from that, pretty much all my family hates me for whatever reason, my own grandma and grandpa hates me, when I was kicked out last year I went and lived with my cousin and there in a gang or something, I seen a guy get shot and killed, I’ve seen them rob stores and everything, I’ve been around them doin pretty much every drug, but I had to come back because all of them got arrested and is now in jail, that’s what I don’t understand, Why is it that everyone that cares about me ends up in jail or something, and Why are they criminals, I mean I’m called a criminal because of being on probation and the cops have found pot on me before, that’s Why they stop and harass me, schools rough as hell to go to and the rest of my friends are graduating this year and the rest is dropping out, there 35 people that’s a freshmen when there suppose to be in a different grade or out of school and in this small town that’s bad, and Yeah I’m one of them I’m suppose to be a sophomore but that didn’t happen, I’ve been drunk alot before, I’ve done pills a few times and smoked pot alot before, I smoke cigarettes and rub snuff when I’m in school or somewhere I can’t smoke at, this girl I’m talking to keeps hurting me, one day she says shes thinking about dating me and that I’m the only one here for her and that she loves me then the next week she’s telling me that she doesn’t want to date anyone and she getting tired of me asking her to give me a chance and that she hates me and to stop talking to her then later that night or the next day I apologize and everything and it goes back to how it was, I just can’t live without her, I love her so much, she’s been there for me threw all my bullshit and has made me so happy but Its starting to get hard to deal with her getting mad at me and doin what she’s doin to me, also the cops came to my friends house a couple weeks ago, kicked in the front door and searched the house without a warrant and called all of us worthless piece of shits (I’m getting use to hearing that) and then the next day they got evicted and now there living with my cousin and I’m living with my friend, I’m just tired of dealing with this shit every day and thinking about everything when I go to bed and there’s alot more then what I said, I just hope someone reads this and helps me out cause I have no one to talk to, and also I have depression and anxiety.

    • I pray that God sends someone to help you. But I promise you, suicide is not the answer. God has a plan for your life so hold on and let Him work!

    • Maybe I am late but today I checked this website you know life it’s too easy but you need to know how to live it either you live easily or you die easily . Don’t think that I would never understand cz I do and the prove that I think about it every day you think that you are useless in life and everything goes wrong but I have learned from god that you need to suffer and never give up because there is always hope and a light that will make you feel better just whatever happens cry and then laugh and say good lesson l have learned today next ?. And please don’t you ever think that nobody care cz we all care

  10. My son hung himself 9mo ago and we were so close and there was nothing he wanted more than his degree . Campus police said he committed suicide but there are so many unanswered questions. My daughter has nothing to do with me only her father. I don’t know how or what to hold on too any more. And I’m sure when I leave this earth it will shock many when they read my will. But nothing states I have to leaves everything to her.. I was the only one that was ever truly there for them both. But a person can only take So much .. I am prepared to need my maker and so ready because there is nothing left anymore

    • I am sorry for your lost just try to hold it on

  11. My nephew hung himself in April… I just keep asking myself why why why? He didn’t even leave a note. Sometimes I feel angry- why did he leave us?! How could he think that no one cared? If he would’ve called and said he was hurting and needed someone to be there he would have! His death (only age 19) has had such an effect on the whole family… so many tears and heartache. I just keep wondering why and will never know…

    • I am sorry for your lost I know that you are wondering but only god knows no one knows how it feels really so stop wondering and look forward one day god will give you the answer

    • its not your fault. stay strong and make him proud

    • It’s not his fault he didn’t feel he could reach out. Maybe you and the rest of the family gave the impression that you wouldn’t care, and now suddenly act all concerned now that he’s gone. Family and friends always pretend to be shocked and concerned after a suicide, never before.

    • Personally, I don’t think people reach out because they feel ashamed. There is also the threat of being hauled off to the looney bin, losing your job and forever being branded as suicidal. Nobody wants to tell someone, “Hey, by the way, I think I’m going to kill myself”. Again, I don’t think anyone who commits suicide intentionally wants to hurt anyone else. They just want the pain to end…

      • Toughy, I agree with you 100%. My brother committed suicide 3 weeks ago today. He was a very private person and couldn’t easily open up. I know he wouldn’t have been able to face “the looney bin” again. He went there 5 years ago after a breakdown, due to his wife having an affair, and subsequent divorce. She had a smart lawyer, and he had a soft heart. After all she put him through she walked off with half his finances too. For months now he has been under financial stress. I think the continued stress spilt over into depression. I know he couldn’t face going through again what he went through 5 years ago. My heart breaks because I knew he was stressed. I reached out to him on many occasions, but he wouldn’t admit the depth of his despair. I live in another country so I couldn’t talk to him directly but rather on the phone, what’sapp etc. He had an exceptionally good Easter and 50th birthday weekend with friends and family. Then on the night of easter Monday he hanged himself. I so wish it was different, but he must have been in too much pain for too long. What an immense loss to us his family, his girlfriend, his young children and his friends

      • suicidal as I understand is a self punishing: is the denial of self pardon, is the frustration of acts that are impossible for us to change, the denial of aware self , they are thousands of negative reasons. it s time to start counting the positive facts in ur life and informed doctor our feelings and pains and lock of interest in life, do not be ashen, depression is a sickness like any other. my doctor toll me 23 years ago there has been struggles no more bigger than the power of my love for my 2 daughters that at that time the little one was 5 years old . My husband take me to the doctor and I was declare major depression and offer me a bed to stay as long as I need. saying that there was women that has 2 or more years there, my respond to the doctor was: I can’t, I have a 5 years old child to take care of , return home and start taking my medicine for life. I still live in the same home with my same family. thank GOD , I will ask the lord to full fill your heart with love for others because given is how you received .

    • It’s often not about thinking people don’t care; it’s more likely he just was at a point or moment where he himself didn’t. In other words its not about you but him, and this really isn’t selfish as some would like to think cause we’re already talking about an already self-sacrificing mindset. Further, when someone crosses the line of having the will to take their own life, there is often little in the world they’re out looking for to truly stop them or think is worthy enough to continue on living.

      • I agree its not a selfish act, I thinks it a pain that most want gone and usually its been going on for along time and something finally sets them to their breaking point

  12. I lost a young nephew too very recently and found this website. I’m so sorry for your loss and I share your wondering why and the frustrating feeling that we’ll never know. Hang in there. We are.

  13. Thanks for saving me from committing suicide. I was about to do it!

  14. I so want to die. Tried cutting my wrist today, and i did succeed to some extent. My home environment is just like hell. I have an 8 years old son, he always seems scared because of the fights between me and my husband. My husband lost his job 2 months ago and since then there is too much fight in the house. My father also is an extremely cruel man. I am 32 and he still beats me with my husband. My mom doesnt stop them, keeps sitting there and keeps watching everything. I have no hope to live. I just want to die. Nobody cares about me. Nobody loves me. I have no place to go. I feel the only option i am left with is suicide. I have been thinking about it for last so many days n did succeed, i wrote this article today n stopped myself from hurting me more. But i dont think so i will be able to stop myself in a day or so.

    • I am so happy about you just be like this don’t you ever think about that. you know why, imagine the life of your son about you if he knew that you are dead maybe he will think that he was the reason and he will be dead too, so always be wise and don’t forget you family loves you because they won’t leave you

    • It is a very hurtful situation.. I have had the thought of ending my life much too often as well… But seeing your pain, I have realized that there are people in much worse conditions who have only just started thinking of committing suicide. Like YOU.
      uptil now, I was feeling low and hopeless and just as a joke on myself, I thought I’ll turn to the internet for help(I mean, no one living could help me yet, maybe the internet might?) And that is when I came across this site, our of countlesscountless others and read on till I saw your story.
      And it got to me like a wake up call. You gave me hope that if YOU are in such a horrible situation and still alive, pulling through so strongly, I have much MUCH less to complain about life…
      Honestly, if you can give someone hope, I think you’re far better and worthwhile to end your life like this… You’re strong enough and I’m sure God is proud of you somewhere. He’s got some plan for you because someone who can give another person HOPE is well… The most important person that we all need at some point.
      God bless you.

      • please dont give up.People care.You just cant see it,your not alone

      • Very nice to thank her & wonderful how her story saved you & she did it unknowingly! That is awesome! Chin up : )

      • Just dont kill yourself im pretty sure people would miss you if i could see you in real life id say its alright

    • Hey beautiful think of your son! SAY TO YOURSELF I AM BEAUTIFUL I AM WORTH IT, say this prayer…Dear Jesus come into my life you have made me whole you have made me right with you, I am yours You are my Friend You gave me beauty for ashes, You gave me breathe of life I receive you now Lord Jesus, You have given me Peace and Health and Eternal Life You have Given me Hope!!!! In Jesus mighty name Thank you for loving me and dying for all my pain I have felt in the past…You Jesus have set me Free thankyou my friend In Jesus Name Amen xxxooo

    • I feel happy that you saved your life and also take the suggestions below.
      and don’t forget family is important more than any thing in the world.

    • Ylou have a son, I cant have a child as a 31year old this makes me feel ive lost out, get the number of a hostel, social services, womens aid, u owe itto ur child, to not let the child. Live in fear of his dad, u also owe it to him to. Carry on, sort ur life out

      • Hi which country do you live in, most countries arrest man who beat or abuse women, I’m thinking about practical help for your situation, I’ve been in an abusive relationship and thought there’s no way out because this person’s biggest threat is that they are capable of killing me, themselves or my family, an abusive person is crazy but even crazy people need to be stopped, that’s why they get injection and pills, I think you want to kill yourself because you are afraid he’ll kill you one day anyway, truth is there is some1 who cares the minute I told my mom, friends, older cousin they they all wanted to help my brother ended up knowing but wanted to kill him and became my body guard, authorities 1st, if you think no one in your family cares there’s some1 who cares out there, I do care a lot, post your story in social media and tell people in your community that you live with them under those circumstances this will help other women too

    • stop,you need to get out of there,this is not your fault and you dont deserve this but you need to think about your son and you,you dont need to go through this and keep going for your son,one day he might be feeling how you do now and need his mum
      i hope your alright you wont feel like this forever

    • Hi

    • Hey. I’ve had someone commit suicide before and it hurts. I’m not gonna make this too long. But I do want you think of your son. If you leave he may be stuck with the same thing our going through. Do you want that for him? I’m not trying to ruin your life but honestly the best thing you could do is get in your car and leave. If you are scared of your husband and dad then do not talk to them about it get your son and a little bit of clothes and leave and get help. You should not have to be abused. It is not right and I hate that you have to I bet you are beautiful and strong and don’t let them get the satisfaction they want

    • Leave your husband and Father and get to a safe house. There are organizations that can help you find them.

    • Hi. I don’t know if you have updated but I hope you have battled your demons and looking back at this time wondering why! I’m 25. I just lost my father to suicide. He hung himself two days before my youngest sister turned 9 and a week before my second youngest turned 10. Words cannot express the heartbreak it caused them. I know that life sometimes seems really bad but with the will to change it.. You can. Look at your sons face. Find the love in his precious smile and eyes. Even when it’s rough. Remember that when you’re gone.. You never come back and unfortunately the only person who feels more alone is your boy. Idk why my dad did it but my sisters will never be the same. To lose someone to natural causes is easier. To lose someone to suicide… The pain is more. I know it’s crappy to say “look at the bright side” because some people don’t have a bright side.. But look at your boy. Let the love conquer the hurt and depression. No one needs you more then him. My sisters need my dad and I know if he knew the pain he caused them, it would’ve changed his decision. I hope you’re doing ok. I really do 🙂

      • Suicide is such a complex and individual matter. It defies logic but the painful thoughts are clearly overwhelming. Impossible to reliably predict, no good evidence for any effective treatment despite lots of kind and well meaning people. Numbers are increasing. The suggestions for prevention sound good but don’t seem to work. Numbers continued to increase in Australia when a major investment in prevention was undertaken.
        I have had 2 years with every waking hour filled with thoughts of suicide, a lovely family, good income, but was tricked by a financial adviser and can’t get over my foolishness. I am obsessed with trying to find an answer and a way out but just seem to get more involved with this thinking. Maybe talking about it and these websites make it more likely. I’ve tried all the treatments, but am stuck with myself, my past choices and regrets. These thoughts are like a cancer that I can’t get rid of.

        • James M, i believe you’r correct in it being an individual matter. Probably why prevention attempts fail. For most, you too, it does defy logic. People want to help but can’t, they don’t feel your pain. like everyone you have handled mistakes and failures before, but this one hurts you, you were swindled and feel foolish, it seems there’s no way to repair the damage, you tried. This man beat you, in front of your family, making you seem foolish. But he didn’t take your family away, that you die for. Realize, you were outsmarted and you can’t fix it. Accept defeat or you will give this man the power of taking your family by you losing their faith, interest and love. It will feel as if they left you for the man that beat you down. You will surely die soon after this mans actions causes you to lose any real reason to live. Your wife, your Family. Losing hurts. It’s done. focus on something else, if not you’ll never find another opportunity or your worth, EVER. It defies logic because it’s not for you. People have died just minutes from civilization because they loss focus and felt defeated. All they had to do was venture a half mile. This last year and a half i have never come so close to act. my depression is crippling, emotionally, But i’m going for the ride, whichever, i’m going to live, make love to a woman, laugh no matter what those people took from me. (more than money) no one believes, but i know it. Once you decide, you can have the same. i still got a little to go, but i see it. I won’t if i act on it or die for it.

        • But with your situation you have the skills and tools to get over what you did and make better decisions in the future. Be thankful you have that. Not all of us do.

          • hello there my name is Mohamed I have about my father few month ago I was committed suicide but that was didn’t work out for me everytime I try is work out ever I cut my wore didn’t work I took pill is not working II have never done anything bad my ret of life but I m still working on
            to take way my life my own father make me second citizenship I have no face to see or to live

          • Please don’t give up on life. Chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 – it’s free and they really care about you! https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

          • Unfortunately that knowledge just leaves me frightened as to where this is all heading. I seem stuck within my own nightmare

        • Good Morning, I sincerely hope you can get up and be apart of the world. I am a very depressed mom and grandmom. I can understand people thinking that suicide is their only way of escape. But just for a min. think about one person you know that will be haunted for the rest of their life because they can not understand and miss you so very much. Try, please try to stop the would ofs could ofx and the should ofs. They will destroy you.
          I also unnderstand about your feeling about being stuck. You feel so sick inside and just want a slice of happiness but it does not come. PLEASE care about yourself and do not do it. PLEASE
          There are people that love you and care about you, but in your condition you can not see it.

      • Hi I’m 20 nw.. I’m totally depressed about my lif..my father doesn’t cares of me..my mother is such a stupid lady in my life..I donoo whether she is my own mother… She will be torturing me and taunting me in everything n every second of my lif even I tried to attempted sucide ..but my fate is so bad so that I haven’t died yet.. For me no parents has lov for their children… But later NW I realised that I need to live for myself I want to live happily n show them so look at Ur children n liv happily don’t bother

        • It’s not good to end your life like that. There is always counseling to talk to someone about that problems your having.

          • Do you know how expensive counselling is not everybody can afford it and not everybody has access to free counselling

          • Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches. It is totally free and we have other free resources similar to counseling like having an email mentor. Just click our “chat now” button and we will help.

        • At 20, you can get out of their house. You made it for 20 years you can make it 20,40, 60 years more day by day. Learn to be the person you were meant to be by God. Get a means of supporting yourself, get counseling, and make a good life for yourself. You have already gotten through the first 20 which, I am sure, were the hardest that you have had to face. Put these people behind you, there are others out there who will care more for you. Find them in a safe environment such as a church, youth group,or somewhere else safe.

          • MY FRIENDS
            STOP THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE !!!!!!!!!
            YOU ARE GREAT PEOPLE
            YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN
            ALL GOLD IN THIS PLANET
            YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY
            AND YOU HAVE TO LIVE
            TO SHOW LIFE WHO RULES THIS WORLD !!!!!!!!!
            I LOVE YOU ALL <3
            LET'S WIN THIS BATTLE
            AND LET'S MAKE OUR LIFES GREAT !!!!!!!!!!

        • This is heartbreaking, as was above. Never is a long time.

      • This is heartbreaking as was above,

    • Please no matter what u do get help next time I feel like that my dad took his life my girlfriends dad also took his life changed us as people for ever so think of your family and get help hope things get better

    • Hi Beautiful, your comment shown as 8 months ago, I am really really hoping that things are much more better with you now . And that you have grown more strong and more beautiful. Look, I am not an expert and I am not going to pretend to but I know one thing, you came her because you really want to stop your self from committing sucide , even if you really feeling you can’t.. but you CAN, and you will.
      what ever going on in your life fight to fix it and this is what I am telling myself, you never know when things will get all right, just don’t go for the easy way and quit, and don’t be so hard on yourself.
      live for yourself and your son.
      And always pray for a stronger you.

    • Report your father to the police, the beatings must be stop.

    • Hay you can do it stay stong and wait everything will get better soon and everyone hating you isnt true your son probably does and so many other people just wait it will get better

    • suicide is not always an option,if want to set yourself free from this environment…..you must call the police and tell them about this domestic violence. tell your husband that if he has lost his job 2 months ago, then why didn’t he look for another job instead of beating you in front of your mother and your son. look your father right in the eyes and remind him that you are his daughter. Ask your mother that did she carry you for nine months in her womb just to see you get beaten up by your husband and your father? if none of this work then leave them, cos its up to you what you do with your life, not up to them.

    • you need to leave the situation your in… maybe not in the way your thinking.. save some money.. grab your baby and just leave… don’t leave him in that horrible situation.. he is your solace..

    • I hope your life gets better and that in everything you do you see happiness and hope. Some things you just cannot keep silent you need to report your father or something. Stay strong not only for yourself but for your son. *cutting yourself is not the answer* crying is way more healthy if you need to find refuge in a friend that you truly trust <3 I hope i was able to help (: <3

    • I hope you are still with us .. sad sad thoughts brought me here . I am in the midst of separating from my 12 year relationship . I have a 5 year old son …this morning has been very very hard for me . I don’t have anyone to turn to.. I hope god blesses me with the power to overcome. I hope he blessed you as well .. I love you.. 3 years late .. but I love you

    • Please, please, get some help, but first get away from these toxic people. There are laws to protect you from physical abuse, take pictures of your injuries if you can. I hope that you are still with us. Sounds like you, your husband and son are living with you mother and father. A terrible cycle of abuse. Please find a way to protect yourself and your son. Suicide will not protect you son whom, I am sure is the world to you. God bless and please let us know that you are still with us and are in a better situation. We care.

    • I hope you got help and took your son with you , there are womens shelters that you take your child with you and they help you both.And they are hidden from the abusers, they need not know where you are.

    • Have to agree you’re getting a raunchy deal! Three people belong in prison. It’s amazing how much relief you can get getting away from abusers. We also need women like you to help us change the laws, if you ever feel good enough.
      Love love love to you.

  15. Read this article*

  16. my mom..is about to kill herself , I don’t know how to stop her..I’m only 16 years old..
    I Don’t have a dad , I don’t have grandparents..
    my mom is an Aquarius and a very depressed one..
    I’m a Taurus and me and my mom NEVER get along…
    but now she is giving me all of her stuff…I just don’t know what to do without her..
    :'(

    • I think maybe you will show her how much she means to you and tell her that without her you can’t live maybe she will think that se is the reason that you are alive so she will never hurt her self because she will know that she will hurt you too

    • plz try o find a man for her to marry thats it..she may not say but she wants to

    • you need to tell her how you feel about her and tell an adult but please know its not your fault she loves you

    • say that life is awesome and that you will fight forlifewith her

  17. I wanted to die since I was 9 im now 17. i have tried multiple things to take my life.i drank a mixture of cleaning supplies,i tried strangling myself with a belt I tried suffocating myself I even took pills. I cut my wrist open about a year ago. I still have thoughts I have to injure myself to distract myself. I feel if im gone their wont be any worries.i wont be anyones exscape goat when there mad. I just want it all to end. I want to stop being angry I want to stop feeling like nothing. I want to finally be at peace. I wanted to be at peace today but I read this idk y I got her something inside told me to I guess. so thank you for now

    • i have a question do you have friends, brothers of sisters, parents, coworkers? If you do then I feel the need to tell you to think about them, how they hearts will break, some light will leave their eyes, they will be left with a giant gaping hole that you left there. People you never meet will feel horrible and stay up at night and wonder “If I just knew them, maybe I could help them.” Because let me tell you a eternity of nothing is a whole lot worse than a life of feeling. Live for the shows you’re going to watch live for the books you are going to read, live for the people you love but most of all, LIVE FOR YOURSELF because you matter.

  18. I have suffering from severe depression from the last 8 years.I just don’t know how to overcome this depression…I’ve been always thinking about committing suicide but I am still alive today..but i may really do it if it’s not going away..life is hopeless.I’ve tried a thousand times to defeat this feeling but i can’t..I can’t enjoy this life anymore…maybe it is better not to live anymore

    • I agree with you that is where I’m at right now. Maybe its better not to live anymore

      • Yes, i have had thoughts of suicide but im better now. I also had a friend kill himself and i hurt inside to understand but i know i need to stay and become a better person to see,feel,live,to know that life can’t beat me down. I truly feel for everyone who feels that they can’t live. I understand that so so much. If anyone wants to just talk im here,i can be there for you. I have been through a lot in my life of only be 40 but i truly want to be there for another person that feels so low,and i care about people and love God to be able to let me live. I encourage any one to get help ,to talk to live stonger.

        • Hi I know this was 5 days ago. I’ve never gone online to talk about these things. I usually read everyone’s replys n stories for hope. You said if anyone wants to talk so here I am. Help please.

          • Depression is cause for an imbalance of brain cells your doctor can prescribe a medicine BUT he needs to know every detailed of how you feel or if you see shadows every thin so hi can help u . you are going to be ok. do not give up the gift of living your life.

  19. I tried to kill myself last week. It wasn’t a cry for help. I really really just wanted to end my hurt and pain. If the pills hadn’t been taken away from me, I would have continued to down the entire bottle of my meds. I have a doctor’s appointment today; I am grateful that I wasn’t admitted and that I was released to my family. I was abused as a child by a family member resulting in classic text book/cliched life choices…pregnancy as a teenager, drug use, etc. I overcame it by succeeding in life – college educated with a good job and a good husband, yet, I am unhappy and feel unworthy of love. It is very hard to not loathe yourself even when you yourself are a victim. I am 37 and wish that I could be happy. I don’t see how that is a possibility when all you can think of yourself is as a pig who is not worthy of love.

    • I understand your pain. I feel the same way. But you are worthy of love! Love yourself! Treat yourself life a queen! You are not a pig! If you are curvy, then love your curves. Be All About That Bass! No treble! Screw what other losers think. People treat you bad because they hate themselves and to make you feel pain alleviates theirs. Don’t be their punching bag any longer. Be strong and fight back!… Be a good person, do right, treat yourself to things you like, meditate, do yoga, go for walks even if you don’t feel like it. Put music on that makes you feel good and walk it out! Live for YOURSELF, no one else. There is still time to do what YOU want to do with your life! There are a lot of jerks in this world. You are above that! You are beautiful, worthy and GOOD!!! Take care of yourself, you deserve it!

  20. My daughter’s fiance hung himself with a belt 9 days ago. My daughter found him. For the last year he has been a bigger part of our family than his own. I had no clue he was suicidal, yes, I know there were signs of depression, but my daughter denied it. Shortly after his death, she opened up to me about some of his demons. She never thought he would do what he did. Unfortunately, he did do it.
    My reason for being here is that, his family has now come in and demanded that she give up everything of his including their money that they shared together. They didn’t have much and never did. Now, that there isn’t anything, they are accusing her of stealing and lying. There was nothing and I know this, but they won’t listen. She was the only one there for him for the last year and now she is treated like dirt. I have realized that this young man had warning signs for many years. Is the family just hurting and grieving in their own way?

  21. I come from an abusive home. Today for the countless time my uncle tried strangling me. My nan just stands there and tells him to stop after a while. It always ends with them laughing threatening me that if I call the police they will say that I was the violent one. This always happens when my mum is out so she just thinks I’m being histerical and making it up. That is why I don’t want to live anymore because I’m tired of being scared and alone

    • Call the police! If there are marks on you now or if they are verbally threatening go ahead and call and start the process of get away from them. Don’t be scared 🙂 if they are really hurting you call the cops, you will not get in trouble but they will and they deserve it

  22. I wanna die because i can’t take it anymore the non stop isolation, rejection, ignoring , psychological/ mentally/ emotional abuse from abusive, difficult, and impossible people who makes me sick and tired that cause lost of my rights to be comfort to do my wants and interest even my employment is affected because of bullying, sabotage, from my co worker who have insecurities to me. Then GOD create me and let me to be ADHD as impulsive that makes me suffer . For the reason all of the negative i got from difficult and toxic people . Wherever i go no matter what i do wrong no matter what i do right other people laughing at me , judging me . That’s why i ‘ve lost my hope to other people. Even i pray to our saviour LORD JESUS CHRIST my pain and failures and
    dissapointment always happen again and again and i feel so hopeless and helpless.

  23. what’s the rseason for living????? there isn’t one. case closed.

    • Juliet, Please, please, please never give up! You have so much in your future that will bring you happiness that you will never know about if you give up. This challenging place in your life is temporary. You are worthy and valuable. We are here for you and we truly want to listen to what is going on in your life and offer you some ways to deal with it.
      Would you be willing to call us or chat with us at TheHopeLine today? We are open 24/7 and all you have to do is call 800.394.4673 or you can chat with one of our HopeCoaches about what is going on at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp .

    • there is a reason in life, but it’s up to you to figure that out on your own.

    • It’s up to you, you can choose whether to make your life meaningful or not..

    • Agree with you Juliet!
      To others who say, ‘Life is what you make of it’, I say, ‘Ha!’. I didn’t make this life. This life was made FOR me!
      Product of an unwanted pregnancy to a mentally ill mother…father who married due too young…no money, no food.
      Be glad when it’s all over.

      • sometimes it seems so dark you just lose hope totally understandable

        • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. If you email us at thehopeline.team@thehopeline.com we can give you a private number to call for help. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
          Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  24. I think about suicide all the time. I have a firearm so it would be quick
    and easy. Unrealized ambitions. Physical problems. Financial insecurity. No
    friends or close family. I’m now 35 years old. The hopelessness that I have
    towards the future is overbearing and relentless. I can’t imagine things
    getting better because they have been bad for so long. I just want to end the
    pain and suffering.

    • Do not do this. If you think death by firearm will be quick and easy; I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. Last week my father shot himself. He put a .38 calibre handgun under his chin and fired. The bullet went out the left side of the top of his head but, not before passing through and completely destroying his eye. He sat outside on the deck for , from what the police could determine, close to four hours. When his wife found him , he was not only alive but, he was reaching repeatedly for the wound and groaning. Long story short: he lived another eight days. Those days were excruciating for not only him , I’m sure, but, for our family. Talk to someone. Please don’t hurt yourself.

  25. December 16, 2014 my nephew put a bullet through his head. He was a veteran. He had only been home since August. I only found out he was struggling a few weeks before his death. He was using alcohol to dull his pain. It may have given him the courage to pull the trigger. I wish he talked to me. I may be his aunt and almost 30 years older than him, but I have alot of the same traits he did. I was ADHD, impulsive, more impulsive with alcohol and used it to dull my pain. I wish I could have shared that with him and maybe he wouldn’t have felt so alone.

  26. It’s not true that those who commit sucide are always the victims. My mother committed suicide when I was 16 but she was nobody’s victim. She was the monster. She abused me and nobody ever cared. I thank God every day for her death. My childhood and adolescence were hell on earth.

  27. My Uncle committed suicide due to depression. He was such a big part of my life and had children aged 3 and 9. I am aged 15 and I miss him so much. No matter how many people say it’ll get better, it is still a tricky subject to bring up so I end up ignoring it. I always wonder why he committed suicide. This page has helped me a lot. Thanks.

  28. I was thinking of killing my self so I wouldn’t need to see my family die first because my mom always says she wants to die first but I do because I want to protect my family

  29. I don’t feel depressed. I feel lonely. My partner of 5 years cheated on me 3 months ago. I think that we all have one real love in our lives, and she was it. I was selfish when we were together. I was the one who wanted to move away and study. She was miserable when she came with me. I was so busy with uni that I didn’t put her first. I imagined my future with her. I imagined the house we would have together and the children we would have. I loved her unconditionally, but I didn’t show it enough. I left my home behind and all of my belongings to stay with my mum for a while. I went out with a friend who’s a party animal and ended up having a one night stand with a friend of hers. Today I’ve woken up with a virus and I’m pretty sure they gave me hsv2. Who will want to be with me after that?! I was already feeling hopeless and this has tipped me over the edge. I’m going to do it, I’m going to leave this all behind. I think dying will be like slipping into a dark room of nothingness. I want that. I need that. I love my family, but we all die someday. I don’t feel scared. I know where to go from here.

  30. Please don’t ever give up on life. It’s so precious and you have your entire life to live. My mom attempted to take her life 12/25/14 late evening. She put the gun to her head told my step dad deal with this and pulled the trigger. My mom was 4 times the legal limit when the life flight helicopter got her to Savannah Ga which was 6 hours after the actual gun was fired. She pulled through the surgery to stop the bleeding in her brain and is making a recovery however the bullet severed her optic nerve. She most likely will be blind (Only god can say that forsure) medical professionals told us she would be blind. She also has bilateral brain damage which affects behavior, impulse and motoring. Please don’t ever think it could end quickly. And please remember god loves you!! Find a church or support group to help you!!

    • Sunshine,
      How is your dear mother doing now? Please God help sunshine’s mother.

    • I’m sorry for what your mother did, but for some people it simply is the only good way out. It’s like telling a homeless mans in chain that one day if he tries he’ll get food to eat, and the only thing that’s left is reality is more and more hunger ’till he can’t live anymore.

  31. I just don’t know why am I here. feeling alone,envy,angry,sad.
    I just feel that depression is swallowing me.

  32. I have the thoughts of suicide also time and again when I am stressed out…. My dad was an alcoholic though now that doesn’t affect me. I have got a lovely kid sis, caring mum n loving fiancé so I know I am loved even if I can’t feel it sometimes.
    Everytime I get those thoughts, it’s a struggle for me not to act upon them!!! But I have always succeeded up till now.. All lovely people out there, no matter how harsh the world may seem before you give up, just sit down and call upon your angel!he will always have your back n give you strength to fight back!
    I was in a mentally torturous relationship which broke me beyond repair… I was also sexually abused by one of my close male friend n manipulated into believing that it was my fault. So life hasn’t been easy but you know even then my angel was always there. I always found myself with all sleeping pills on my bed but somehow I never got around swallowing it… Once I saw myself with a knife about to cut until I found an artery but again I stopped coz I thought how would my kid sis feel if she found me like that!!! Again my angel stopped me from hurting myself…
    Love n peace… I know it’s not easy but don’t give up…

  33. Mark, We sent you an email. We want you to know that we care and we are here for you. Please never give up. You have a future that will bring you happiness that you will never know about if you give up. We are open 24/7 and all you have to do is call 800.394.4673 or you can chat with one of our HopeCoaches about what is going on at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp .

  34. I feel hopeless. I have really bad grades at school and I try my hardest. I’m just absolutely fed up with life. I wanna end it 🙁

  35. Trying telling to your loved ones about your problem ? Well , when i told them , they either ignore me , brushed it off or use it against me . My own brother just told me this ‘ I still rmb when you told me you have a problem , now i understand why you have a problem . ‘ Whats the point of living ? People will never care for you . You come to this world alone , you die alone . Even if people do ‘miss’ you after you die , it is a just a short period of time . Then they will move on and you will be nothing . Your existence will disappear once time passed by . God help you ? How ? When all the bad thing kept on happening to me ? Why is all good people die first while the bad one lives ? It is because gods are laughing at you and looking at how you are trying to survive in this pathetic earth .

    • I agree with you. After you die may be for the loved ones but for others is just temporary and they will live as nothing happened, just one person not in the picture.

  36. i hate myself more than anything. i have had anorexia for the past year now. however this is not where my depression started. i was raped at the age of 13. this had send me into a state in which i had no idea on how to escape and the only way i could be sane is to just end all the pain i itself. i have also been beaten by my uncle many many times. i have bruises all over my waist region which do fade however the memories stay. i have also been bullied for the way i dress and the music i listen to. i am so called “emo” however i do not believe in tagging people into categories. my family is always very hard me and they always tell me im selfish and lazy. i have self harmed ever since the age of five. i would scratch at my legs in order to feel some sort of relief. this son turned into cutting myself with knifes and razors and blades. i now have even gotten to the point to which i burn myself with the back of a cigarette. i have tried to commit suicide many many times however i was never successful. i feel lonely and depressed all the time. its like i have forgotten what happiness feels like. i dont know what to do anymore.

  37. I lost my brother to suicide two weeks ago. I can not explain the pain it has caused my family. He was only 43. So many people loved him and cared for him. He was such a great guy, father, brother and son. He had so much going for him. He was successful, smart, and always put others before himself. I wish there was something I could have done to save him. I can’t stop thinking about our last conversation, the phone call I got that he hung himself. He left no note and two children behind. His boys are devastated. He loved those boys more than anything in the world! To anyone who is thinking about committing suicide, please go seek help as soon as possible. Tell someone, anyone how you feel!!!! People will drop everything for you to save you because they love you and no one wants to see you go. If I would have known how he felt I would have dropped everything to fly to Arizona and save him, everyone in my family would have done this! Even his coworkers and friends would have done anything to help him, all he had to do was ask! Please ask!!! Depression and anxiety can be treated, you are not alone! I hope I can save someone by this post, because I care about you!

    • Unfortunately there is nothing you could have done. I have 3 suicides in my close family 2 uncles and 1 cousin (a daughter of one of the uncles). The first uncle used a gun and was swift about it. The other attempted 2 other occasions until he finally succeeded on the third try. My cousin shot herself and it was also swift.
      The only thing they all had in common was they left no reason and no one could tell. The signs have to be noticed which are so subtle they are unnoticeable unless you know what to look for. All of them made visits to family members before the day they did it thats a pretty big sign and also they tell people they either care about them or love them.
      Honestly after all is said and done I have concluded nothing could have been done. Just like people who are determined to live their dream the same mindset is present in suicidal people. They are determined beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will kill themselves. No amount of talking them out of it will work. They will act like they are fine just to get you to leave them alone and to make you think they have overcome the thoughts but the truth is they didn’t.
      Determination to survive is very strong in a normal human being. Now take that same determination and apply it to a person who is suicidal. That how they feel. Their determination doesn’t lay in surviving but more in dying. Basically once a person makes their mind up it is almost next to impossible to ever change it.
      There is really nothing anyone can say or do to sway that decision. The people that shrinks and social workers like to think they save are people who were never set on killing themselves. Those people are narcissists and try to gain sympathy from others by making a grand declaration they want to die. Truth is no one who will actually commit suicide will ever let you know they will do it. Anyone who feels they have permanently stopped a person from suicide is delusional themselves because if they are truly suicidal they have only temporarily stopped it and it will happen just not on that day they stopped them.
      Trying to over analyze why will drive you crazy. It is an irrational thought and action and most of the world is rational so it no one ever understands why they did it. The only person who does is another suicidal person.

  38. Just before going to bed I’ve google why do people kill themselves. Then I came to this site. The reason why i researched this was because i too am feeling the urge to just let go. Ive read the topic and it had me thinking for like a second…still i just want to go. I’ve had the thoughts of suicide since i was 7 or 8. Now i am 27 and i think about it more often that ever. I was raped, had a gun poited to my face in 2009. In 2014 i had a job where i thought i made my breaking point and that blew up in my face. Long story short i got a charge with first class misdemeanor (assult and battery) but that will be dismissed once i go back to court because i finished everything of what the court ordered me to do. My loving situation is living at home with my mom, step father and sister who leaving for college soon. It’s pure hell living here. My mom looks at me like i am a failure, my step father is nothing but a cheater, lier, play mind games and my mom doesn’t do anything about it. I know i am old enough to be on my own but working at a daycare and going to school to get my second degree is not going to be beneficial for me. I feel alone and tried to talk and express my feelings but it’s like nobody is listening to my cry. So if i check out i wonder who is going to miss me? I know my father will…I’m his only child (baby girl). Mentally and physically i am in so much pain. I am alone, depressed, angry, failure in life and a mistake loke i dont belong here. The first time im putting myself out here….so yes i am crying for HELP!!!

  39. Please call TheHopeLine. We are here for you. We’re listening.

  40. I want to die because I could not even have a proper state to the police about the rape that happened to me and the domestic abuse my ex partner put on me. I took the wrong person to the station with me. I was thinking through out the interview what she was thinking rather then making sure I was saying the correct thing. I ended up saying about the first time he did some thing to me like that was ” we were both drunk I consented when that wasn’t true, then I tried to explain that it was rape because he coerced me into consenting, they didn’t believe me because I had already said different. I messed it up big time and now he’s got away with his crimes and they are on my record in stead. I wish my disorders and emotional way of thinking didn’t cloud my logic at the time of reporting.

  41. I think about suicide a lot. I am 54 years and I take care of my mother with parkinson’s. I been taking care of her for four years and is getting worse. I have get her up in morning help dress, clean her commode, pills every four hours, doctor appointments and more.She constently wants attention from moving her pillows behind her to getting food and coffee . Everyone says put her in a nursing home. The thing is I do not have anywhere to go. The nursing home would get her house. I do not get paid because she does not qualify for medicaid. I get criticized by her brother and sister and my siblings because I do not take her everywhere she wants. No one in the family wants to help with respite care. Now my friend that I saw every three months or so when I have begged and pleaded for someone to stay with her; I would go down there for about 4 days. This last time I had to hire someone. Well now he does not want to see me anymore. He was my only friend. If I knew my son who is 22 would be OK I would end right now. My mom would be fine. Know one other than my son has stayed in my life more than 3 to 6 month at a time. I do not want another 30 yes of loneliness.

  42. Sienna, We want you to know you are not alone in this. Reporting a rape is very emotional and a time full of anxiety. What you are describing that happened during the interview is post-traumatic stress. It’s important that you take care of yourself and talk to someone that can help you through this. Would you be willing to call us or chat with us at TheHopeLine today? We are open 24/7 and you can talk to a HopeCoach by phone at 800.394.4673 or you can chat with one at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp .
    Please never, ever give up on yourself. You are valuable and you are worthy. You’re not alone. We’re here to help you get through this!

  43. Tess, You have had a great burden to bear. I want you to know you are amazing and the only person that has stepped up to care for your mother. That speaks volumes! Not many people have the heart, you have, and would be lucky to call you a friend. I know your burden seems like it will never end and it is robbing you of a life. You feel restricted by the financial limitations too. The important thing is to take care of yourself and to continue talking about what is going on. A great place to start is contacting our partners at Focus On The Family http://www.focusonthefamily.com
    “The Focus on the Family Help Center counselors are here to listen and pray with you, as well as provide guidance and resources to help you and your family thrive. Arrange to speak with a licensed Christian counselor at no cost by calling 1-855-771-HELP (4357) Monday through Friday between 6:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. Mountain time.
    855-771-4357 US (Canada 1-800-681-9806)”
    Here are some helpful articles from Focus on the Family about what you are dealing with right now.
    http://family.custhelp.com/app/answers/list/kw/caring%20for%20aging%20parents/search/1
    We are here for you and praying for you.

  44. They say reach out and talk… But when you finally get the courage to speak up, people ignore you. I’ve never felt so alone. I have no one to help or talk to. Guts me after the years I’ve spent by my ‘friends’ sides…

  45. Everyday feels like i am getting closer to killing myself. I hate my life and my job. I just don’t know how long i can deal with this pain. I don’t even feel anything when i have sex. (I am just going through the motions and waiting for my wife to finish. Then i act like i am finishing. Everyday after work i stop at the gun store. Yesterday I walk to the front door and turned around. I am getting closer and closer.

  46. You say the problem is temporary. People have been telling me that for 22 years. When is it no longer considered “temporary”. When am I allowed to stop the pain without being judged by people who don’t even know how I feel?

  47. wel let me just start by saying i just turned 47 and my life is hell and i dont blame god because i no my choices where my own.it seems like when i try to do better i dont.now that i have lost my apartment and everything in it will be thown out because i dont have away r money to get it.and i,m now living with my sister who is not the nicest person.my ssi as been taken away from me all my mom things that i had stored will be sold because i cant pay to keep them there anymore.once again i dont blame god for any of this.i have done bad things to ppl that i dont even wana talk about.i try to make my self understand that if i pray and ask god to forgive me he will.but the devil busy.everytime i ask for for help it seems like it never comes.and do i say that i live with my sister that really cares about herself and what somebody can do for her..and if she does anything for u u better say thank u..its so much more..the only thing thats keeping me around is my dog i love me so much i just think he will be miss treated if i leave him…..i really need help

  48. Bob, it sounds like you are feeling very depressed and that nothing in life is enjoyable to you right now Don’t give up.. Please give us a call at TheHopeLine 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE). We want to be there for you and help you.

  49. Thinkof those left behind, forever blaming themselfs, their lives ruined by grief, you must do all u can, see a doctor, get tablets, get therapy, change ur life, live for what life may bring u, read about law of attraction. Speak to people, don’t let suicide ever be an option, I have clinical depression, what helped mewas trying. To help other in same mind-set as me.it helped

  50. Sorry. For your loss, just know that there was nothinbg. You could say or do to change this x god bless

  51. People. Are not judging. You, they want to help you.. life is very tough, but. You must keep trying,imagine where you will be in a year

  52. Your depressed. That is clear, you owe it to yourself. And wife to seek help

  53. You are so valued, believe me your mum is grateful you do wat you dol, get online tomake friends, mabye ring to see if any support. Grioups in ur area

  54. I want to die. I do again and again about the wrong thing in life. I have no face to face with my dearest wife, family and co-worker. I’m so stress.

  55. Im done,i feel so worthless and im never good enough im only 13 and ive been depressed for 3 years i have so many mental disorders 🙁 no way am i going to be able to cope like this till im an adult i might as well give up now.would anyone even notice..?im just the weirdo that cuts herself and always on her own.that does speak,thats alone

  56. I don’t have an abusive life or a bad life. I feel like dying because I feel I’m living for nothing and there’s nothing interesting me anymore.

    • Tabby- You may be struggling with depression. One of the signs of depression is when nothing in life interests you, when it’s hard to find enjoyment in life. Please call our HopeCoaches 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE). We care about you!

  57. Hi my name is Trinket last week was my 3rd attempt to kill myself…now I’m looking for knowledge and answer s maybe…I agree it’s not that I wanted to die I just felt I couldn’t live. And yes I was drinking this only made me feel more hopeless…it’s scary to realize you can’t take it back…each time it’s like I can’t control it then I reach out for help..this time I took BP pills and it almost killed me..it’s embarrassing to face the people I love and admit the pain I cause others…so on a good note I want to live and show myself I’m not a quitter…

  58. “God has made you very strong person and you will get through this.
    Whatever you are going through right now is only temporary. It will pass. It may be difficult and possibly the most challenging thing you’ve ever been through, but God has made you very strong person and you will get through this. I promise.” I just read this statement and felt compelled to respond. My Mother committed suicide in 2009. It was beyond heartbreaking and traumatic. Your quote above about God is false. Why would a loving God allow someone to do this? She suffered from an illness and was in deep emotional pain for many different reasons. She was a devout Catholic and attended church every Sunday. Sometimes, the pain becomes overbearing, and you just see no other way out. God is not here to help anyone. It’s a personal decision. If there really were a God, he wouldn’t let this happen. Allow those that are suffering to die in peace. Obviously God let my Mother die in peace. Please don’t be ignorant.

  59. Is There anyway to help my Learning disability? I’ve been in Special Education my whole 1st – 12th grade. I had to drop out of College because of outside distractions and I couldn’t really keep up with the professor. I quick my Job (at the time was fast-food) because they gave me very very very few hours. Now I’m 27 Jobless, living with parents, and have no hope for the future. You only have one shot at life and I want to be happy. Most minimum wage jobs like especially fast-food is the most depressing feeling ever. I feel there’s something in me that needs to be unlock to make me happy to overcome my circumstance and succeed in life. I’m in really great shape physically too. I don’t have a good job resume at all. been had only one job and no college degree, so no better job won’t hire me… I wanna end my life so bad. If I had a gun, I wouldn’t be asking for help right now. My circumstance isn’t going to get any better I don’t think… I’m Hopeless

  60. There is no god. Only an earth being destroyed by ignorance. Why wait to die when you can no longer see, hear, walk or are living with the pain of losing your loved ones. Why not go now? Ill be gone tomorrow. And it wont matter to anyone. But the hurt, loss, anguish and loneliness i permanently feel will no longer hurt me.

  61. You are not a quitter! You have come to the right place to find answers. Our HopeCoaches are available 24/7. We would love to encourage you and connect you with some great resources.TheHopeLine: 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE)

  62. Hi guys, OK I can clearly understand about the pain that a few unfortunate people must be undergoing..n I don’t feel bad to let u know that I am one such..but suicide is not the best option at any circumstance in our life..it really makes us prove that we are weak and leave behind our beloved ones with all the pain..its not fair..when coming to the pain…the pain threshold varies from one person to the other..I.e., the actual amount of pain experienced by oneself for some x amount of problem….so endurance levels vary from individual to individual…look mental pain is similar to physical kind of pain..its a perspective view..a pregnant woman will have a fear or anxiety about the pain experienced during labor or c-section…but once experienced, she will overcome that and comes out with a kind of enhancement in her pain threshold..fr her next pregnancy, she will not be scared the same way before her first time delivery exposure…that means she got used to it…similarly, mental pain ha its dynamics.. When you experience a mental pain fr the first time, some loss of a loved one or any failure, your mind will not be ready to handle it , so it scares you to death..but if u really try to withstand this tough period.. Sure you will come out successful with increasing your mental pain threshold….see I am a victim myself…I was in love with a guy n we got married against our parents wishes..I faced a lot of struggle after marriage with in-laws …the deepest of all pains is I lost my pregnancy due to miscarriage for mental stress caused by in-laws…I was able to hear my babies heartbeat , with lots of hope and soon I shattered to get to know it lost its beat and underwent miscarriage…it was the deepest pain and this has lead me into deep guilt and depression…soon there was struggle at home between my husband n me…lots of arguments etc… And due to my in-laws influence , we had disputes in our marital relationship and now my marriage is at stake….I am undergoing a lot of pain…n so many times I felt why this happened to me…but what I felt was the is the toughest of the times I have to withstand at least…sometimes future seems scary and your past haunts you…n u will be left alone to face all this pain yourself n no one to share…but try to understand that life takes its course whether u worry or not…people will forget n lead their own lives..even your beloved ones worry fr ur suicidal death but they will carry-on with their own lives..its not selfish, but time heals everything….so if time heals their pain of your death, why can’t ur pain be relieved if u give a chance..there is no point in killing itself fr anybody’s sake, or anything sake…if u feel suicidal and you pain kills u…just cry it out..how many times you feel…its only a matter of letting the pain out…that is the only reason y u chose to commit suicide..just to let itself out of life..in order to let out ur pain…so try to let it out….how many times it recurs and scares you just let it out..by crying or by sharing it with some friends or by helpline..what ever..now u will feel a temporary relief once you let it out…do this repeatedly..when ever the pain comes back to u…as time passes…ur circumstances may naturally get better or u may find someone or some reason to share ur life with and live or at least able to cope up with the pain…be stubborn..just be stubborn….try to endure the pain..try to live..put all ur strengths just to live…that’s it….keeping yourself alive at tough times is just enough coz u does not quit it like a few cowards…this is just enough and see the miracle…trust god..there is some reason y u r alive…today..so many people meet with accidents, or die fr disease etc…he kept u alive..becoz u r supposed to live…please don’t make matters worse by commuting suicide..now u r physically OK..may not be mentally..but if u try killing yourself and fail by any chance…injured or in any worse physical condition..u will not even be able to help yourself..so when u r facing hard times..just play the role of a witness…if it is out of your mistakes..try to rectify them n learn..this will make u a better person..if it was not your mistake..then just keep calm, since u r a just a victim…and try to endure it…not always u r supposed to play a lead role in life’s drama..there are a few instances..ur role is just to play a witness and see what is going to happen….what ever happens at the end this is what god gave you …just challenge it and just appreciate yourself fr staying strong all the way n kept yourself alive….god bless u..

  63. I guess I am different then, the reason I want to commit suicide is because I want to know what happens after death. There are so many things unexplained by science that I can’t simply stop myself from being curious, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT COMES AFTER DEATH!

  64. I’m scared tired an lonely I have a beautiful 9 yr old girl that makes me hang on to this life if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be here but sometimes I lose track of that an just want to go I’m scared I might lose myself I don’t want to be selfish an take this life I was given but its hard to live this life I try so hard and get nowhere my child would be better off without me holding her back because of my sadness I carry

  65. hi i m 32yrs old having two son one is 8yrs old &younger one is 4yrs old.9yrs back i married to a man i love. i left my family for him.n after marriage they accepted us.frm 3yrs he started beating me in front of my son.he is an alcoholic n after drinking he starts abusive language nbeat me without any reason.but now he also started cheating on me.this pain is unbearable .i can’t go my home,i can’t stay with him also.i can’t commit suicide b’coz of my two son. but i dont know how long i can bear this pain.why people do this to them who love them most?

  66. Idk what to do anymore. I’m 19. I have a son. and I’ve tried to kill myself a couple times. I was addicted to methamphetamine, and when I finally sobered up a little I realized how much I fucked a lot of things up. my family don’t even like to be home when I’m home. they say I made it not feel like a home anymore. my birth mother sells me methamphetamine, Idk what could be worse than that.. it feels like she is literally trying to kill me because of how bad I have gotten. my dad was never really one to talk so he just lives on like nothing is happening. my little brother feels like my older brother. he tells me certain things that help me calm down.. it just happened so much that one day he looked at me and said “you know what, I really don’t care anymore.” my sisters help too, except they always end by saying, “but you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do. no matter what we say.” my son and I have been through a lot, when I’d be all high, or coming down they would always just drop him off with me. so it was always just me and him. I’d sit there and cry and my son would give me a hug. it’s all my fault he has grown up so quick, and he is only 1. one day I asked him when he awoke, “son, do you love me?” and in a clear voice he said “no.” it broke my heart.. the world would be a lot better if I wasn’t in it… ” just feeling those drugs go and invade my brain, top of the world, imagining life if I was hella paid, wondering why I’m at the bottom, stuck and still afraid, my sun don’t shine, this negative mind keeps me in the shade…”

  67. My children’s father committed suicide last month. Our son is five and daughter is one. He was in a lot of physical pain and had so much stress put on him due to not being able to work. He had a back injury while working in 2008. Workman’s comp of ND put all of us through hell. There’s a lot more to the story, but I don’t want to talk about it.
    I think I understand why he committed suicide… because I knew him so well. I’m not mad at him either. I tell my son that his dad will be the first to meet us in Heaven when we go. I don’t even know why I’m writing this little blog, maybe it’s because I read a few of the stories. I am a single mother of two precious children, and we are doing okay. I feel the strength and love of God with me. I know we will be okay.
    To those who want to commit suicide because you believe that there is no way out, I don’t know what to say… except. .. there is a way. I am a person who now is raising two children on my own, and we are all okay. I can live this life. Just like you can live yours; however, you need to find it. Go with your gut and do what you love. Find that purpose. And to those of you who have lost somebody to suicide, I pray for strength and love for you. Keep moving forward and stop asking yourself “why?” or “what could you have done? ” You will never ever know the answer. Leave it at that and keep moving onward.
    The light will come back to you. THE HOPE WILL TOO.. you need to find it no matter how hard it is to find… it’s there…

  68. I probably won’t commit suicide. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to though. Honestly, I really don’t want to be here because there is nothing worth striving for. It is all worthless. I can’t get what I want out of life. I want to feel happy, excited, content, passionate- even remorseful, stressed, guilty, or anxious. I know that I should feel some emotion, but I don’t. I know what I should feel. I know that I should care… But I don’t. The only genuine feeling that I can conjure up is sadness. When I think about how hopeless my situation is. So tell me, how do you teach yourself to feel emotions? How do you learn to care again? Life is not special on its own, just because it is life. Life is only special to those who view it so. I would rather not live. The world isn’t making me happy anymore. I don’t know how to make myself feel happy. I used to get enjoyment out of such little things but now I dont. I don’t know how to feel happy. I just go through the motions, completely detached. How do you feel more emotionally attached to things again? I probably won’t ever take my life because my family and peers would find out. I just want to disappear. I want to be forgotten. I wish I never would have existed. I can’t get what I want out of life. I have lost it. I wish there was a way to go without damaging others

    • I know how you feel. I have been like this for the past 5 years.

  69. Jami, thank you so much for sharing your story of hope and grace. You are an inspiration. Your children are blessed to have such a loving and wise mom. God bless you!

  70. Please don’t give up! We are here for you and want to give you strength, Please call or chat with a HopeCoach today. We have lots of resources we can connect you with for you to have a loving support system in order to heal. There is hope! https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  71. Your daughter will NEVER be better off without you. Don’t even let that lie enter your mind. You were especially created to be her mom. It’s sounds like you are struggling with very real depression, which can mess with our thinking. Please call our HopeCoaches anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  72. In some point of my life i really wanted to commit suicide. I always blame myself because of what is happening to our family. Ever since i was a child everyone around me makes me feel i don’t belong in this world. When I’m growing up i see how my mom is so lonely and miserable. If i did not exist in this world maybe she will be more happy and free to do what her hearts desire. I feel so alone.

  73. We want you to know that you are so loved and you are worthy! You are not alone in what you are dealing with. Please reach out and call a HopeCoach at 1.800.394.4673 or Chat online at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp.
    Also, we have a free app to chat, call, email and get encouraging post at: http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp

  74. My friend made a scary poem and see said what is the point of life if you are not happy. It really scared me and I don’t know what to do??😭😨😱

  75. Suicide has always been a recurring thought in the back of
    my mind. One that seems to go away for some time, yet always finds its way back somehow, as if it never left in the first place. Apparently it must run in the family. Because recently just after returning home from visiting my family. I got the call that not long after i left my cousin had drowned himself. The boy that i
    had just seen and the one i had grown up with and always pictured always being there, was suddenly gone. I can’t help feeling like i of all people should have seen the signs. He seemed distant but i just ignored it making up some lame excuse like i always do. I didn’t even give it a second thought when he said he was busy. I don’t know what’s worst, the thought of never getting to see him again. Or the fact that i think i understand why he did it. That i feel like doing the
    same thing at times. Even after seeing all the grief that he left behind.
    Though i didn’t get to fly out to the funeral i could still see all the damage
    that was done. Just like me he was the oldest of two younger siblings. Being
    only a month apart we were the closest. For a long time i didnt let myself believe that he was gone. But i miss him so much, i just want to give
    him a hug. And give him all the attention he deserved, that i didn’t when i had
    the chance. When we were younger he was always kind and full of love, laughter and joy. One big thing that sets us apart, is that he was brave. Probablly the biggest reason why suicide was always just a thought for me was because i knew i would never have the guts to actually go through with it.

  76. Random, it’s very scary when we see our friends like this. It important that you tell an adult, teacher or your parents about this. Your instincts are telling you this is serious and your friend needs help. If you need help with this please call or chat with a HopeCoach at the TheHopeLine at 1.800.394.4673 chat at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp.

  77. People that commit suicide are somewhat selfish. They are not thinking of the massive negative impact they are going to have on the ones that love them. They are only thinking of themselves. I know that sometimes it seems like the only answer, which maybe in rare cases it is, but most of the time it’s not. I have a friend that just committed suicide, and left a wife and family behind very confused, and now to struggle on their own without him. He never reached out for help that anyone knows of. This is the 5th person I personally know that has taken their own life, and after being upset briefly, I get more angry than anything. And out of all of the people I know that have done this, that is what everyone remembers them for. So, if you think you are hopeless, think about how much a disappointment your legacy will be if you take your own life. You will be remembered as a selfish human being, that couldn’t think of anyone else’s feelings, and took the easy way out, rather than dealing with and fixing your problems, as most respected people do. If you think you are prone to taking your life for real, then please inform your friends and family so you can get some help. I promise, no matter how bad you think life is, there is always a way to deal with it.

  78. You know what the best thing is..to give someone what they deserve, be it good or bad. You are in a position to do that, don’t waste it.
    Think about the safest way, have a plan, and calmly pull it through. Take my word, you will be feeling really cool in the end, by that I mean powerful! (The plan might fail but but bailing is certain failure) Power to you

  79. I’m a 25 year old female. I’ve been depressed since my high school years. I think about putting myself to sleep with pills almost daily. I’m always told how smart I am, how beautiful I am, how talented I am…but I can’t believe any of it. I can’t see it. I hate myself. Often when you try to talk to someone about suicide, they think you want attention. I’ll be graduating this May with highest honors with an addiction counseling degree. How ironic, considering I struggle daily with drugs. They numb me. They make me forget about things. I’m a loner. I have no friends or close by family besides my mom, and I have the hardest time trusting others. When I told my mom that I was raped at the age of 19, she didn’t believe me. She left when I was 16, just as everyone will. Not even therapists seem to understand. Trial and error with different medications seem to only make my mind spin out of control. When I’m not high, I’m crying. I’m in pain. I haven’t gotten high all day, but I know what I’m going to do in my bedroom right now… Sometimes I wonder if those who commit suicide move on to a different world; a better life; a life free of pain; a life free of tears and loneliness. People always say, “There’s people who care. There’s people who love you”. There really isn’t…it’s just me. Me, myself, and I, and sadness overwhelms my life. What do you do?

  80. I want suiside because I never take serious about my life, opportunities and talks from my teachers , parents. Now I am age 32 my surrounding is good but I always feel lonely ness and fear. I didn’t complete any task in my life in time to time because instead of doing work spending time for watching movies, sexual things, chatting with friends etc…… In the same time I feel I could complete any task if I do with concentration may be this reason I always postpone small work also months. Last fifteen years my mind always play songs, dreams due to this my self I frustrated my life. Now my situation is day to day and time to time my thoughts and my aim is changing. After woke up morning i will think seriously i have to finish my work by evening my mind status is i am not done any why i want live. Same fashion life till end of friday and saturday ans sunday i will energize to finish any type of work from monday onwards but it is not happening. Like that 9 years completed now i realize why i want to live on this earth. My friends are in good position in mentally and strongly than me I feel. Please give me some suggestions what I can do.

  81. I have read most of the comments and I am surprise that there are so many people who want to kill themselves. I am really sorry for what you have been through, I know and I am very aware that if I am not in your shoes, I will never be able to feel the pain, but I still can understand the pain that you have been through. I just want to tell you, there are so many people out there who would want to change their lives with you. People who have chronic diseases, homeless people still trying to fight everyday just to have that one good day. I know dear, there are things that never seem to end, and after years of struggling you still in the same pace. Believe me, if you keep on walking, hoping, praying, believing and running to see the end of the road, you’ll see that those are the things that keep you stronger, happier and relieve if its not because of those things, you’ll never become for who you are today. Be patient dear, the poison leaves bit my bit and not all at once. You are healing. Remembering your loved ones, praying will help you go through this. I have been lost, confuse, literally wanted to give up but never once I thought of suicidal. All I can think is that I have gone this far and I want to live my life for as long as I can be. Toughen up, if others can do it. So do you 🙂

  82. Srinivas, Never give up! You have so much in your future that will bring you happiness that you will never know about if you give up. No matter how many or what mistakes you have made you are worthy and valuable. We are here for you and we truly want to listen to what is going on in your life and offer you some ways to deal with it.
    Would you be willing to chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine today?
    We are open 24/7 go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp to sign up to chat . If you have a smart phone we have a free app you can download to chat with a HopeCoach as well at http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp

  83. I read the article and some of the comments; it didn’t change my mind at all. For the past 5 years, I have (or is it had?) depression. I came online searching for some type of hope. I can tell you for sure, it’s pretty hard to changed someone’s fixed mind-set on something for so long. Please don’t tell me something typical that a lot of people say; otherwise I wouldn’t be here. Believe me when I say this: I am really trying to hang on. But as my depressed portion of my life builds up for the last 5 years, things get tougher. I think we can all agree that life doesn’t get any easier when you grow up. I feel alone, abandoned, unloved, and I just feel like I’m the background character to everyone’s lives. My family doesn’t show any effort to show me that I’m their daughter/sister. I feel like I’m an unmolded trophy to them.
    My friends don’t really care about me, as time goes on. Mainly because I don’t spend enough time with anyone. I don’t even use any social media (recently started using Google+, but not that much) and I don’t even text….because I own a flip-phone that has no texting. So you see, my social life isn’t very…social. I just stay cooped up in my house, wanting to go outside into the sunshine. Except I live next to a park (not the safest one either), so my parents want me inside.
    Some people online say something like, “If you commit sucide, then you’ll never know how much you can become.” Something along like that. What must I say to that? Oh, I don’t know, 5 years isn’t enough to know for sure? Plus, up until 3 years ago (2 years into my depression), I used to believe I was smart, funny, brilliant, clever, and amazing. So many people has been telling me that, I believed it partly. I believed mainly that smart and clever bit. My friends and family had so much faith in me, and told me I was going to do great things for the world. So many people believed I was perfect; I would just nod my head. I never believed I was perfect because I know I’m only human. Recently, for the past couple months, it dawned on me that I’m not smart, i’m not clever, I’m not anything…I can’t do simple math (my version of simple math) or recall simple things. I used to be the student that everybody comes to (I usually tell them no, when they just want answers); now I’m the lost and confused student who doesn’t know what she’s doing.
    I’m not special. I’m not unique. I’m not anything…everything is so pointless. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I haven’t told anybody about my depression. Do you even know what I go through then? I have to fake a smile every moment of the day, of every day. Just so no one suspects. I laugh and pretend it’s funny, when I don’t find it funny at all. I have to go along with other people’s “issues” when they don’t really have problems. Do you know how much I want to scream at those people? That their argument over which smartphone (I own a flip-phone…) is better, which doesn’t even compare to my depression? Do you know how much I want to cry at a particular moment, but you can’t, because you don’t want to bring any attention to yourself? Do you know how much I want to punch something, but you can’t, so I dig my fingernails into my other hand? (One time, I bled myself…wasn’t expecting that) Do you know how much I want to sleep every moment of the day? I’m so tired…my mental tiredness eventually became my physical fatigue as well.
    I used to believe my strength was good enough because I lasted for so long. But then I realized everyone has a limit to their strength. Another reason I haven’t committed sucide, is that there is no firearms where I live. If I am going to end my life I rather have a peacful death. But one day, my strength might be pushed pass my limit. We’ll see.

  84. I agree. I don’t think my family would be that shocked. I’m sure it would hurt them, but that would never be my intention. My family knows how tough it’s been and I think could understand…

  85. I’m with you on the job thing. Had so much bullying and crap go on at my job and always have tried to ‘keep smiling’ and act like nothing’s wrong. I just can’t fake it anymore.

  86. I was born with rheumatoid arthritis.  For me, pain is NOT temporary.  My childhood memories are of crying myself to sleep because I hurt and being told it is just growing pains.  It wasn’t until early teens that my parents found out that my “growing pains” was a real problem and not something everyone went through.  For me, I see death as the only cure for this disease that causes more and more pain every year.  I’m in my early 40s and can no longer work but social security disability keeps denying me.  So I am a burden to my wife who stays with me out of a sense of duty but no longer loves me. This she has told me outright.  This is not a life, this is just a continuous hell on earth.  Everyday I think about dying.  It’s become a game to come up with creative ways to die.  I”m giving SSI one last chance to put through my disability.  If the deny me again, I will no longer be a burden to anyone and I’ll finally be free from pain.  I already spend 85% of my life laying down so i’m already mostly dead to the world.  The only one that will miss me is my dog, but he loves my wiFe so he will be fine.  I’ve already picked my spot that is secluded and has an abundance of coyotes, mountain lions, and carrion eaters to finally give me some worth and to pay this piece of crap body back for a lifetime of pain.  Even if I get SSI, I will end up killing myself, just maybe a little later.
    BTW, don’t bother looking up the ip address, I have bounced this connection through a couple proxy sites

  87. my life is a sick lonely heavy depression. i can’t wait until i build up the courage to throw myself of a bridge.

  88. I agree with a lot in this post. My mum suffers from an alcohol addiction and her and my dad fought all the time. I think I was a happy child, I didnt really know the difference, not until i was about 12. When I was 12 my mother tried comiting suicide, it was just me, my mum and my sister at home at the time. It was truly horrific, I definitely lost a huge part of myself that night, I just became a sad and miserable person. Felt like I couldn’t talk to anybody so I put on a happy face, my friends actually thought I was incapable of feeling emotion, I’m just good at hiding it. 10 years later and it’s still the same, I feel like I have nothing, I can’t talk to anyone about it because I don’t think anyone would take me serious. I don’t want to die but I really dont want to be here either. I don’t know what to do, everyone keeps saying it’s going to get better but when? 10 years from now? 50 years from now? I don’t think I can wait that long.

  89. I married my wife knowing she cheated on me, when i accidentally found a letter to boy saying she wanted to leave me and she was only looking for the right time to tell me,. I found the letter that was crumpled i dont if this was the draft or the original letter. I did not tell her because I love her so much, instead i took care and love her even more, i followed her one time and she went from the boys house, when she arrived at home i ask where she went, she told me shes just busy at school, again i kept it all to myself because i love her so much,. Years past and im having the feeling that shes doing it again, and shes lying about it. When i talked to her, it becomes an heated argument, she told me to break it of., and just be separrate, i told her i know your gonna say that. I feel so betrayed and it hurt so much., i would like to end my life to stop this pain. But i am concern about my children, my family dont know what is happening to me and to my children i kept it that way, so that they wont judge my wife badly., since i was the only one feeling this way., i plan to leave and drown my self at sea without identification, i was planning to write a suicide letter to my family, so that they wont bother looking for me, i already said so many times to my children how much i love them, keep hugging them, but they cant see my pain and it hurt so much, i gave my self a deadline until end of april, if i wont find hope to live. Atleast i did have someone to know my story,.

  90. Jakey, We’re so sorry you are going through this hurt and pain in your life from your wife cheating on you. We want you to know that you are not alone in this. You are worthy and your children need you to stay in this world for them. Please never give up on your life. Stay here to watch them grow and have children of their own. You and your love is important to them and they need you in their lives. Would you chat with a HopeCoach about what is going on? You can chat online at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp It’s important to talk to someone about what is going on. We care and we are here to listen.

  91. The police know how to help me with suicidal thoughts? Yes, they will help by locking me up in a stinky cell with criminals.
    The hospital/Psychiatrists know how to help me??? I have met at least 20 and they have all tried their concoctions & failed. Even the top Psychiatrists at Asia’s largest institute of mental science, NIMHANS came to the conclusion that I should leave my studies(though I had always been a good student) because I can’t take the pressure. Well, if I can’t take the pressure of medical studies (though I competed in one of the toughest competitive exams to get in medical school), how can I take the pressures of life, which is a tougher school than any in the world? I hope you will agree that life is tougher than any medical school. So what the famed Psychiatrists at NIMHANS were telling me(& rightly so) is that I can not take the pressures of life and so I should leave it(I.e., commit suicide). I tried several times, but miraculously escaped each time. Only I know what I am going through. Don’t dare to say that you understand. Wouldn’t it be fair to realize my agony & give me euthanasia?

  92. I am just tired of tring to show people how muh I ccare … lets just end this … noone will caree about me, so why do I still try so hard to please them? No use, reason, advantage …..

  93. I’m just bored. I’ve battled with depression and other disorders my entire life. Yes I went through abuse and a lot of other “pain” but nothing hurts me more than apathy. I have no interest in anything. My life is completely boring and I feel like I’ll never have the resources to go where I want to go. I feel like I’ll never make a real connection with anyone and I am terrified that absolutely nothing entertains me anymore. I’ve tried suicide a few times actually and I have plenty of self-inflicted scars. But I’ve never wanted to die more than I do now. I see no light at the end of the tunnel and quite frankly I don’t care. Your website doesn’t say much on this… I just see no meaning to my life. I have no friends, no job, and no money. No boyfriend and no interesting hobbies. I go to school, I’m a college student with no major (go figure). The only emotion I feel is hatred for my boring life. And you can’t tell me how to fix that…

  94. I’m a 14 year old child with no love my parents don’t like me and my mom rejected to hold me when i was born my hole life is a mess no family i feel pain abuse loneliness depression i have try committing sucide before and i did not succeed
    my dad says I’m not worth it and that I’m stupid just like everyone else insolts me and bullies me my teachers li about me i get beat up in school i have to pretend i have friends because known likes me and yes i have tryid making friends at my new school but they stell treat me like crap any were i go i wish i was never born or that i was dead

  95. Trevor, Thank you for reaching out and telling your story. You are important and you are worthy. You deserve to be loved and respected by your family. Have you talked to anyone about what is going on? It’s important that you talk to someone so that they can find you the help you need with your situation. Please don’t give up on your life. Give your self a chance to move beyond this hurt and pain your are experiencing right now. Will you talk with a HopeCoach today? To chat online go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp or call us at 800.394.4673 We care about you and want you to know that you are not alone.

  96. Unlike you I have nothing to live for. Im only still here because i fear death, but no matter what, I know suicide may be my only option now. Thanks for trying though. 😔

  97. I’m wondering if where someone commits suicide is important? A close family member committed suicide recently by hanging himself in a tree in the front yard in daylight hours. I was told the note he left said “no service, no marker, I love you all”

  98. I almost dies took 149 more pills on the day of my birthday I was born and wanted to die now I just want to live, the pain Is always going to be there just have to tell myself my life means more now that I have grandkids and my boy’s who are men and I got rid of the loser the doctor found a new one, there is hope you just need to find one. Bless you all from mine 🙂

  99. Hey guys, im thinkin of commitin suicide, everythin ive done is in vain. Please help me, need somebody to talk to,

    • i think about it everyday my self ,i just can not shake it either,but i am still here

  100. I spent my crucial age 21-28 with her and never enjoyed anything that I could and I should, and built the structure of rest of my life, Now she is saying leave me move ahead and she is marrying to someone else, though because of the pressure of situation, but all these situations were expected and we had decided to face them and get over them and decided that if nothing possible we both will be together away from all.
    Now its difficult for me to get back those 8 years, and not possible to even imagine myself without her, I am now less confident, afraid, not able to do anything no job, no food, My body is not responding properly , I am ill since I heard this for around a month and it getting worse.
    I can’t live rest of my life regretting I could not find her, what all I thought what all I did was all wrong. I am a failed person in my life, I could not realize her that I am nobody without her and she is everything for me. So what else I can do in my life. I do not blame her I blame my self and the people around her.
    Sorry Dear, Sorry Mum, Sorry Papa, Sorry Bhaiya, I don’t want to be a burden.
    I Quit.

  101. I’m 23 years old. I’ve no problem in my life till my school hood but, when i was entered in college i was affected by some psychological problems such as shame , and some unwanted fears those leads myself an idiot. i could not concentrate somebody’s words at sometime. Everybody says that i lost hearing ability. but it’s not like that. i did not loss hearing ability. I can hear even a small sound around me but at sometimes i thoughts are multiple . any person comes near to ask anything i just got fear to answer and could not concentrate the conversation. I was rejected many times at many places for this problem. Recently i was rejected from an interview even performed well by this reason. So, i wanted to commit Suicide. But after reading thias Article i just Stopped. i need your suggestions to make my life normal… please….
    Can anybody tell the remedies?

  102. i never felt this low before like i am today,i know will kill myself i just dont know when,or how,but i can not keep fighting the dread i feel

  103. I want to commit suicide cause my family has little feelings to me and i want to die and i’m only 12 years old the reason i want to do it is cause my life has become so difficult and it stresses me out to the point i feel like a loner to people and nobody ever loves me.

  104. hey joe i hope you are still here

  105. Jim,

  106. Sorry, got cut off…
    I just thought you should know that you are a very gifted writer and have a very thoughtful and interesting voice. I think you have a lot to say that would make a great contribution to this world. Maybe just try and give some energy to that voice…in some form…

  107. I have been thinking about suicide since I was 14 when my life was like hell from unhelpful parents and abusive sister to widowed deadbeat father and overly nagging and controlling sister who just finished Princeton University. Right before my mom died with hep disease, my sister abused me in various ways in the past and my parents show no compatibility with each other nor saved me from her. Instead, they sent me to certain education programs to help me, but doesn’t help me to deal with her. My sister is so complicated that I don’t even know what she is trying to do with me. I always wanted to end my sister’s life so I can move on with my own life without dealing any further problems that she’s creating for me. After my mom died, this family went onto a complete meltdown. My dad has been gambling, smoking, and drinking problem altogether which caused a huge financial problem. My sister finished Princeton University, but it doesn’t mean that she can find a passion nor find a proper job for her since economy is like crap and she barely changed her personality. I have a mental problem with so many scars that my sister inflict to me in the past, a severe head injury from high school that create a mark on my head, financial problems which I have no choice but to stop college to find a job. Right now as individuals, my dad and my sister has little money left with no jobs while I have a part-time job working at the Home Depot as a Lot Associate (thanks to my sister) with reasonable amount of money to save. Also, my dad has borrowed money from me to deal with his problems more than paying me back. My sister is pressuring me to look for a second part-time job or go back to college, but my life is so unstable that college is not an option for me. Another issue is that this family is living an apartment so rent needs to paid by my dad who own the lease and chances of getting evicted is quite high because my dad fails to pay the rent and relies too much on me to pay the rent at his expense, the inspection will come and see us like we’re violating the rules of living here. My sister has a job, but she quit because of her huge ego, her co-workers overused her, and her lack of passion of staying there. Looking for another job is extremely hard and frustrating that the economy is assuming that it’s improving, but it’s actually no where close to improving. The reason why I’m still alive is that my family may see a hint of potential in me, but I can’t have a proper life independently nor have a stable living condition and going back to college is a very long journey until they learn how to take care of themselves and not put me involve into their problems. As if right now, I’m 23 and struggling to move forward with my own life. There are a 3 options left for me to do:
    -Continue working a part-time job to survive
    -Commit suicide if fired from a job and no other jobs would want me in
    -Third option is something you shouldn’t be part of and I’m not telling about that

  108. I dont think suiciding is the right thing, I’m happy when I get past hard things.
    It makes me stronger harder and better.
    If anyone is reading this, Good luck with your life.
    Even if you feel like everyone hates you its not because of you, its because they dont have who to love so they become haters, dont be like them dont let them break you.

  109. hi
    i just lost my mum she commited sicide.it is so hard to belive this

  111. What’s so ironic is that the people who actually don’t have much hope don’t often suicide. I live in a poor country with thousands of people living in the streets, making a living by begging for money. Many of them are disabled and when you look at them you just know they don’t have much of a future. If one of em come up to you and say he/she wants to suicide you’d have a hard time coming up with reasons to convince them otherwise. But they never do. These people very rarely suicide. I think it’s because they have never known anything different to misery. Those that have seen the light and then descended to the darkness are the ones that want to commit suicide. Me ? I wouldn’t be brave enough to commit suicide. Came close to the edge of the cliff a few times in my dreams. Never could jump.

  112. Whenever Robin Williams or some other famous person kills themselves, it gets a lot of publicity, and people insist that if you’re depressed, all you have to do is reach out for help. The catch is, a lot of times no one is there. Friends don’t want to listen — they’re too busy, too much work, favorite show’s on TV … Counselors are great, but they can only see you once a week, and then only if you can afford them. And it often takes a couple of weeks for them to work you in. I live in a huge city, and yet there are only two crisis hotlines. One is constantly busy. You can get through on the other one, but only because they put people on hold to answer other lines. Believe me, there’s nothing like being in emotional crisis and having to listen to bad music on hold for 15-20 minutes or more. Plus, most of the counselors are really young, and are just reading off a list of questions. There’s no real conversation. And once they find out you don’t have a gun in your mouth, they’re trying to get you off the line ASAP to move on to other calls.
    We give lip service in this country to wanting to provide better mental health care and support. But when it comes down to reality, we do a very bad job of providing for people before they become suicidal. That has got to change, and in a hurry.

  113. At TheHopeLine our HopeCoaches are mature and they don’t read a script. They really care! Try chatting anytime – they are available 24/7 – we care about all of your problems and struggles. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  114. Eric
    Nothing has gone right for me in the last few years I lost my job. I’m out of money. There was a woman I was dating but all I really got was return merchandise for her when that ended she stopped texting and calling me I never got the chance to really date her. All I’m good for is being used by others I’m worth more dead than alive. I don’t want to exist anymore when I look at the present and future all that I have experienced is bad things happening to me. When I look at the future there is only pain and despair as far as I can see.

  115. I Can’t Take it anymore severe storms tore my house up my dog died I have illness again and again I’m unemployed and probably will lose my home I tried a relationship but I ended up only being used and after she was done I haven’t heard from her anymore i am sick and tired of life and i don’t want it anymore all of my patience is gone hope is non existent i cant take it anymore nothing is improving at all and I’m tired of it GOD has not helped me at all and I don’t follow him anymore I QUIT

  116. i would love to die cause my family is very bad to me

  117. kinda true
    ………

  118. SUICIDE SUCKS

  119. Life simply isn’t fair. Many people have the luxury of being loved unconditionally. Then there are those of us whose existence is simply an inconvenience to others. I do not blame anyone who has felt they really didn’t matter and the world would be better off without them. I’ve often thought about committing suicide, but I always tell myself, there is always tomorrow. May-be things will get better. See, I have hope, even though my existence is a big inconvenience to many. Once people aren’t able to give themselves that self talk, they actually go through with it. I get it and I pray for mercy on them. And for those whom there existence was an inconvenience, they continue on without regretting how they made that person feel. Sorry to tell people the truth, some people just suck, and that’s how it is. However, there are plenty of people who do care, even if they aren’t in your life. I hope that these comments help some people who are in a really dark place realize, that it is not completely their fault that they are there, and I hope that they realize that their death, won’t change haters cause it’s true that haters are gonna hate, no matter what. There is nothing wrong with those of you contemplating suicide. I get it, but when you’re gone, there are even less of the good hearted people. I feel that every person who commits suicide has that in common, a HUGE HEART. Don’t take yourself out of this world because I, for one, find each of you to have critical value.

  120. When all the strings inside them snap.

  121. I found out I was pregnant after months of trying with my lovely partner i got to the 12 week scan, all perfect. I got to the five month scan, all perfect. Five days later my waters broke and i gave birth to my baby son who died. Now i just want to die because nobody knows how i fee

    • Since I’m a man I may not be able to know how you feel, but you can always try again.

  122. hey people i understand what ur goin im de same a cut an drink all the time then ii started writing an understanding what i’m goin thru an i need u all to hang on please stay strong with me we are onlii haman we mess up we break etc………. but please don’t kill ur selves. we could fight thru dis together

  123. People do not commit suicide because they are in pain, they commit suicide because they do not believe there is a reason to live and the world will be better off without them. They do not belong there .sometimes they write notes stating that they are going to commit suicide ( kill themselves )…… 100% of people attpemted suicide every day an aleast 45% of them wined up dead …..30% in the hospital…..25% was saved
    How they feel :
    ** pain
    * loneliness
    * rejection
    * abuse
    ** deep sadness
    * guilt
    * depression
    ** helplessness
    ** worthless
    Some people think tht suicide is the only way out of there situations .There no way they could mske it in life they have low-self estem 🙁 🙁 ………. THEN negative thing starts to take over people minds thats causes then to ACT OUT and say things like” I HATE MYSELF, I DON’T BELONG HERE , I’M STUPID, I’M NOTHING JUST LET ME DIE THAT WAY I’LL HAVE NO PROMBLES I WOULDN’T EXSIT” 🙁 🙁 🙁 ETC………. THAT leads to cutting , drinking, drugs etc………….
    I UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE DO THESE THINGS DO ????????
    OR ARE YOU A PERSON TO MAKE FUN OF THEM ?????????????
    IF U ARE YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES !!!!!!!!!!!!
    People who makes makas fun of suicidcal people like call them name remind them of stuff bully them etc…………. they are stupid don’t study them no matter how hard thr words is how hurtful it is’ THEY WOULD LAST A DAY OF WHAT YOUR’RE IN’ ….. they don’t know how your life is onbody can’t jude you onlii god can just remember the fun times you had … Throw away all the rozers and pins all the shap odject from your room
    I WROTE DIS PLEASE TAKE MY ADVICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  124. The major factor, in my opinion, is we won’t be an issue for anyone else..

  125. I also wanted to respond to this article and why people commit suicide. For most people can’t understand why. I was diagnosed as mildly autistic, or high-functioning autism, formally known as Asperger Syndrome at 31. From the literature I’ve read on this condition, these people, usually males, have a higher rate of suicide than the general population, and so do people with mental disorders in general.
    If you think about it, these life-long mental disorders prevent people from adapting to their situation whatever that might be, which would probably cause suicidal thoughts. I have had them myself because at 33 I’m still financially dependent on my parents likely because of my condition, and have never had a meaningful relationship with anyone, and unemployable in the eyes of many people. I have largely had to learn to live with this condition and accept it.

  126. It’s not always quick and easy if you don’t do it right. Be careful.

  127. I have found that when I felt the worst was when I compared myself to other people. These people apparently don’t have more successful people to compare themselves to.

  128. I don’t think that my problems are unsolvable, I just no longer have any mental strength to solve my problems. that’s it…

  129. Ale I felt every thing u said, this is the first step to helping, yet there’s no such resources to help sadly like they have pro bono attys, they need pro bono counselors, pro bono judges man there’s not a system STRONG enough. I wish we could talk I have a son too, idk what to say, but cont. To try n stand. God loves US!!!!

  130. Hi,
    Great article!

  131. My whole life has been rough when I was born I had to fight to survive (pre-mature). I went to elementary school and was bullied until I put a gun in my mouth and wasn’t strong enough to pull the trigger. Sometimes I hate myself for that. I changed schools but it only got worse and then my grades dropped and my home life got harder and it seems like I can’t ever get to a light like I can never and have never found an ending to the pain and I feel like every moment is pain so I would be better off dead and the worst part is everyone I have tried to confide in betrayed me or seemed indifferent and I really begin to wonder if I would have known that it was not going to get better I probably would have pulled the trigger. *And also I am in high school so this is still happening

  132. i know this girl that is crazy and she might hurt herself what do i do?

  133. i have a friend i think might hurt herself how do i convince her not to?

  134. i want to die i have hurt and lied to my family too much to get their trust back and i don’t think they care any more so i want to run away or die …………….. what should i do? i have talked to friends and they said not too but i have no more reason too live besides my twin brother that i love and cherish, every day we say to each other “from the womb to the tomb” and i know that him loosing his twin sister would hurt but not as bad as i do now. i miss my boyfriend that is dating my best friend and i can’t stand to see them together and it hurts me and i know it hurts him to but he wont admit. my best friend that is dating him knows exactly what i’m going through and it is with her ex boyfriend. she knows what it is like to want to die she cuts, she punches walls, she cries and i ……………….. i hold it back and wait for it to get better but it gets worse …………… i need help ………..
    -T.J. Help Wanter

  135. i am living in a web of lies and deep saddness

  136. Im a young muslim teen, Ive moved in east london since the past 2 years i feel like im changed, i feel like ive been influenced bad on the environment here, i feel like i dont get the freedom to stay out late, i feel like life sucks. Everytime i do something i always think about boys, i know im not a slut but deep inside ive done alot sluttish stuff and i always look for the opportunity to flirt with boys, i feel like im such a cheap object, as i am muslim and i know ive done alot sin and wgen thinking of getting better i just give up. I cry myself to sleep thinking of how those girls get the freedom. My parents are strict they dont let me out, dont let me have social networking opportunities. I know itsva stupid reason but for me it feels like freedom is impossible in my life and getting better aint me

  137. Right now I’m at a point of hopelessness. I don’t see an end. I’ve dealt with a cheating wife n using my kids as pawns to do wrong n go to places to cheat. She emotional abused n from time to time got physical. Then to put the nail n the coffin she had the guy she was cheating with at her job try to set me up to hurt me while dropping my kids off. But it turn out the way he may have convinced her he could cause he lose the fight he started. Then she n him call the police on me n lie. So now I’m facing a criminal charge. Then digging deeper she goes n puts a protection order against me n I haven’t seen my babies in over a month. All I hear is that my kids keep wanting to see me. Then she takes my kids n moves them an hr away to the same guy house she tried to set me on n this same guy uses racial slurs. I’ve been at a point of just letting go and even had the tool to do in my mouth crying writing a final couple letters to my babies. And I think after I finish the last letter n hand to my attorney. That will be the end for me. I’ve been destroyed n have no hope or will to live anymore. After all I’ve been thru I lost my first child during this season to rsv. Now losing my two kids to a just wrong person with no morals. All I’ve ever wanted in life was to have my family n give them the life I’ve never had. And all is lost now. I haven’t told anyone my plans. But this is something I seem I can’t handle n I feel if God is still there he is ignoring my prayers

  138. Please hang in there! Your kids need you. Create a supportive environment (church, pastor, friends, counselor) around yourself to help you get through this trial. You are going to be stronger on the other side of this and your kids are going to thank you for hanging in there for them. If you need to chat online with someone, please contact one of our HopeCoaches today – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We are here for you!

  139. There are days that i feel tired and fed up, i live alone, i have son 32 years old married with one daughter, my fear is how will be the life of my son and his family when i will die. My son income is so small and not stable, that is always bothering me, i have small income too. I am still hopeful that everything will be fine someday, i always do planning how to make more income. I used to have good income before, I am always thinking the future of my grand daughter she is the only one that makes me going and i am very afraid to die, very afraid to leave them unstable, life is struggling and fighting. Be strong just think of your love one.

  140. Me and my ex broke up. I gave so much of myself and he no longer wants me. I feel like I’m the one that messed everything up and feel like he’s not coming back. We’ve been on and off since 13. He has so much of my heart but he doesn’t want it and I don’t either. Sometimes I think about standing in the middle of the street and allowing or hoping a car to hit me. He blocked me from both his facebooks and everything. It hurts so bad. He’s never coming back. I want to die so him and everyone else that I cause stress in will be so much more happier.

  141. Me and my ex broke up. Almost everyday I think about commuting suicide, like standing in the middle of the street and waiting on a car to run me over. I gave so much of my heart to him, and if he doesn’t want it neither do I. I’m tired of hearing move on and blah blah. If I really had the strength to do that then I would have already. If I’m gone everyone would be happier and more stress free.

  142. Please, whoever you are, whatever the issue is, PLEASE do not commit suicide. It’s not the way to go, it’s not worth it, it never is worth it to kill yourself, and if self harm is the only way, it’s still bad but it’s better then suicide. I know, I wanted to hang myself as a teen but now I look back and realize that I had something to live for, and I would’ve hurt many people in my life. For anyone out there that feels hopeless, unloved and that no one cares about you, I’m sorry you feel this way because someone does certainly care for you, you are loved and whoever you are, I may not know you, but I care for you and I love you and there is hope. There is always hope at the end and I know. You may not believe me, and this may not affect you if you don’t believe so, but I know it’s gets better as I once had the initial reaction to end my life. I once thought there is nothing to live for, it doesn’t get better, but it certainly does. Sometimes I still slip and get lost into these thoughts, but then I remember I have an amazing family who loves me, friends who care for me and a better future to look forwards to, a day tomorrow better than today. It may take a while, but in the end you will realize how the best decision in your life was to eat that interestingly flavorful food and to not commit suicide. I realize I got a little carried away with the length, but I want to get the point across that suicide is not the answer. Yes, this is what EVERYONE says, but it’s true and coming from someone who tried to brutally hang themselves and do self harm, it is a message to believe and follow. If you’re having a bad day, please read this or at least think about a better way, even self harm, though I don’t encourage it. Whoever you are, there is always someone out there for you to speak to, always someone who cares and loves you. And if you don’t know, or can’t seem to find this person, I will be that person, as I will love you whoever you are, and you have hope, and there is a reason to keep living. Never give up for this is always hope.

  143. My suicidal thoughts, when I get them, come from a lack of respect of the world. I wonder what does it have to offer? Is it worth feeding myself, etc? I’ve enjoyed much in this life, ecstatically sometimes, and hitherto I’ve never regretted any decisions I’ve made, but now I’ve realised I’ve been experiencing being on the autistic spectrum all my life without knowing it, I’m thinking it might be nice to try things through again. Couple that with a believe that we don’t actually die but come bac k to live another life, makes my thoughts of suicide rather different. I might like to come back and try again. Somebody asked me whether I’d ever considered having children. I don’t feel I want to bring anybody else on to this planet given my views on it.
    I’m very open to being persuaded otherwise, anyone?

  144. I almost wanted to commit suiside untill my girlfriend helped me through it i dont cut myself though i bite myself

  145. Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. One can leave all the positive stories of those who have survived the idea of killing him/herself… but suicide is not failure. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2016, it was a reminder that even the strong fall… suicide is the result of illogical decisions that are made in the illness of DEPRESSION – the worst kind of pain.

  146. Mandy, thank you for your comments. I am really sorry about your dad. He must have been in so much pain. I have added your comments to this blog post. What you had to say is really insightful and important to share. Thank you for sharing your experience.

  147. 20 years of pain isn’t temporary.

  148. It seems like i spend every night deciding how i will eventually end my life, looking online researching it. I am almost 40 years old, unemployed taking care of my 90 year old grandfather by myself. I cannot get a job right now because i cannot leave him alone 8-10 hours a day besides the fact ive been fired from the last 3 jobs ive had i will not have much time to even find a job and theres a real good chance i will end up homeless. I dont have any family or even any friends. I dont drink or use nicotine. Since quitting chewing tobacco 6 months ago i do feel alot better mentally and physically but the reality is i am going to have to end it. i need to prepare for it and decide how i am going to do it. i wont have alot of time to decide when the day comes. Honestly i am tired but in my heart i dont want to die. I have no doubt i am paying for my bad decisions ive made over my life and i accept that, i had an awesome childhood as a teenager doing whatever i wanted after my mother died. I wouldnt trade those memories for any job now. My life as a young adult wasnt great, wasting it working but i Got to live my dream, i had my wolf for almost 15 years. When she passed away i always planned to go with her but i didnt because my grandparents needed me to care for them. Idk what other choice i have? I wouldnt even care about being homeless if it wasnt for my dog and cats. I cannot imagine dumping them at the shelter, i couldnt live with myself. I have to remind myself some folks are lucky and some aint, thats just reality. It floats around, its got to land on someone. I dont feel sorry for myself, i know i brought this on myself and i accept that. The saddest part is since quitting nicotine how much better i feel mentally and physically. I havnt felt this good since i was a kid. it has been along time since ive really enjoyed life like this and i will have to end it and it could be any day. I think honestly in peoples hearts they would agree with me. I have been fired from my last 3 jobs, i havnt had a job in almost 5 years, i wont have enough time to find one when my grandfather passes and i cant even get one now because i cant leave him alone in his state. i have no family or friends. My family stays away for fear they might have to help out with my geandfather and my Wolf ran all my old friends off decades ago. i need to know What is a good fast way to end it. I dont have access to a gun. Ive researched the hell out of it almost every night. Either the GG bridge or cutting my wrists is where im at now.

  149. I had a feeling my comment wouldnt get posted. There really is no answer. Dont feel bad i know in my heart what has to be done. Like i said it floats around, it has to land somewhere, thats just life. Some make it and some dont.

  150. Sorry it took a day to post. Sometimes it takes time to read through all of the posts we receive. Please don’t give up. If you want to talk to someone about your situation we are here for you. Our chat lines are open 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  151. I have had suicidal thoughts since i was a young teen and it only stopped when i got out of a toxic relationship when i was single and somewhat happy with my life i started college and made new friends my life seemed beautiful i was getting good marks and it began to get even better!
    I was told that a guy had a crush on me in college and we started to hang out until things moved forward until i told him about my past… Everything changed he was heart broken by my past and things became worse we began having fights every so ofter nothing i could so would please him not fully.
    As time has passed about a year and a half he has completely changed i love him dearly hes so precious to me but he doesnt want me he knows ive tried to cut my wrists once when i was with him becuase the pain of our fight was too great for me to handle
    I think this is the end of us now im back to having suicidal thoughts as i see no future without him

  152. I am so sorry you are going through this and that the suicidal thoughts have come back. Talking about it can really help. You can chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We are here for you!

  153. My friend killed himself 2 months ago today, he killed himself on Feb 26,
    2016 ,He was Jewish and didn’t believe in God I wonder if he is in Heaven or Hell,I pray for him every day, I wish that it never happened and I cried all day ,I think I was the only one who cared for 30 years never thought he would of planned to do what he did ,he was my everything he was my only family ….please pray for Garry. God Bless those who pray for him thank you from the bottom of my heart .

  154. I had been struggling too from this, but Why why should i let this feeling of suicide overcome instead i intend to fight it till last breath. I m not perfect then you all cuz no human beings have been perfect. If u ever watched movie rocky where he says: Never be discouraged. If I were sunk in the lowest pits of Nova Scotia, with the Rocky Mountains piled on me, I would hang on, exercise faith, and keep up good courage, and I would come out on top.
    Even if life goes down and you feel like you are on the bottomless pit, then dont be discouraged struggle exercise work hard and you will come out on top.

  155. I mantle product of an abusive home, I am an abuser now I have lost everything I care about what hope is there

  157. why t
    hey make fun of me if i have dog teeth

  158. why they make fun of me like u have dog teeth

  159. Thus girl I thought was my friend for 14 year’s got together with this guy who thinks schizophrenics should all be locked up for life no matter what. Out of the blue said I was stalking her, him & his son. He has been following me all over. He’s pulled a gun on me and tried to run me off the road also. They have a 6 figure income, a lawyer and are friends with a lot of cop’s. One cop stole about 75% of my evidence. Nobody will help me and I can’t afford help. The judge got heads up about me having a mental illness professional so he empty the court room leaving me to defend myself against all them. Would not even look at the evidence I had left witch is enough to 100% prove my evidence. I had a clean record and now I have 3 charges that can never be off for life. The baliff actually made fun of me when he handed me my paperwork. Knowone will listen or anything. I hate the U.S.A Government now and do not trust cop’s whatsoever anymore. Last but not least I am 100% ashamed that I served in the Marines for this country of ours. I have never been so insulted in my l8fe. It’s time for a rope here pretty quick. I’m waiting for a store to open. Happy trails!

  160. My 40 year old son who suffers from bipolar disorder (and likely BPD) makes me feel suicidal. It’s hard to explain, but he treats me badly–as if I don’t matter, as if my experiences mean nothing, as if my perceptions about everything is wrong. He treats me like I’m insane and mentally deficient. He makes fun of my looks, my weight. He criticizes anything I’m proud of. He argues about everything I say.
    He doesn’t seem to appreciate anything about me. Overall, he makes me feel rejected as a human being. This is especially hard on my psyche as I’ve suffered great financial, career, and personal loss during the past 15 years.
    After suffering years of his abuse, I finally made him move out. After I did, I felt much better for a while, but he visited on Father’s Day. The whole time, he acted like he hated to be here. I could tell by his skeptical expression that he thought everything I said and did was wrong. As always, I just smiled and pretended that everything was okay. And now I’m dwelling on these issues again.

  161. My husband has been feeling suicidal and he claims he has a peace with it how can i help him he is not acting like hisself at all he is bitter and angry and will become agressive in a second

  162. This sounds like an emotional roller coaster. Are there other things going on in his life that are triggering these fits of anger and suicidal depression? Do you have a support system of family or friends who can help? If you want to chat about it with us we are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  163. Is it just me or is the thought of depression a unnatural feeling? I don’t want to kill myself because I love my family and I do not want them to go through pain, if I did kill myself. However, there is a ungodly obsession I am unable to let go since I have learnt about the Suicide Forest in Japan.
    I grew up in Japan and was never told about this forest until I discovered it on my own. Because hundreds of people have taken their final breath there, I feel that this is not bad. However, suicide is a terrible rope that is tied around the living. If you die, it affects the living. I hate being human.

  164. people suicide because of money this is the correct like

  165. Today i was and average Monday. I didn’t expect anything abnormal to happen. But when i saw a boy no older than myself crying on a seat as i walked in, i new something wasn’t right. I went to sign in when the teacher gathered me and several other students into a room and closed the door. He began to read from a piece of paper. He said that a girl a year level above mine had committed suicide over the weekend. He began to tear up and and cry. I did too. so did my friends.
    i didn’t really know her. i don’t know why i cried. maybe the loss of a life triggered it. or is it the nature of humans to show compassion and love to those who are gone, even if they were a very faint person in their life?
    If you are thinking about suicide, just remember that there could be a whole school of kids who wouldn’t be the same without you. And if you feel like you have no one to reach out to, the reach out to God. Yes he may seem fake, i ask myself if he is real many times, but i have faith in him. He has brought me up when i have fallen and brushed off the yucky disgusting sins from my past. All you have to do is ask for him and he’ll come. Even if you are about to take your own life, just stop for a second and ask for him…and he will come to you.
    R.I.P M.K 4/07/16

  166. Well….. I want to suicide becoz my father never buy’s me anything. He thinks that I am his mistake. On every summer he goes on holiday. to different country..he never take me with him.e Everytime I request him something he says he dont have money for me. And expects from me to get good grades in my test. I don’t want to live. Can anyone tell me a easy and painless suicide method.. hope my death will make my father realise about my feelings 😟😟😟😟😟

  167. I want to kill myself a year ago but my friends made me not think about at all but I was in school at the time but summer came and my dad took the one thing that made me happy ( wifi ) I know it is crazy but it makes me smile and laugh all the time but my mom owned a baker and that is the only place I get wifi and my mom and dad left town and I didn’t think about killing myself at all but the came back and I don’t want to but I know I will want to kill myself soon. I’m 12 going into 7th grade and I’m being builed (sorry not good at reading) but it never bothed me all my life but went my family does it, it makes my think about killing myself

  168. I lost the love of my life June 24th 2016. I’m 20 and he was 18. I was madly in love with him. I had found out he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend, I was so upset I told him I was leaving him that night and I went and hungout with another guy. He seen me with the guy at the store and lost it. I only was with this guy to get back at him and make him jealous. I wanted to be with him still I was just hurt and he killed himself that night and his family I was so close to blames me and I hurt everyday. I cant get him out of my head. I wakeup every morning unhappy and wishing I would have never hungout with this guy. I dont know what will ever make me find my happy place again, I miss him everyday and am now suffering from major depression and sadness. What do i do?

  169. I have lost friends and family to suicide. about 7 years ago I to had tried to end my life. I almost succeeded. my dad found me when I was almost unconscious. Instead of taking me to the hospital he beat me up. My twin realized I was late for drivers Ed and felt something was wrong. She ran to my moms work and made my mom drive home because my dad and I were not answering the phone. I guess when they got there I was unconscious in a chair while my dad was punching me in the face and throwing water on me. My mom and sister rushed me to the hospital where I was then taken to another hospital. I was unconscious for a week in the hospital. My sister could not visit me because my dad would not allow it. My mom never left my side. I awoke to an illusion of my sister trying to tell me a secret. I should not be alive but I am. I believe I was given a second chance and I am here for a reason. I’m not sure what that reason is yet and I still struggle everyday with depression. Life is hard. It there can be a lot of struggle and hard times. But no matter what happens I still think back to whatever is left of that memory. to remind myself I’m still here for a reason. I am a survivor not a goner. Everyone else can survive with me because we r all here for a reason.

  170. I want to die it is becoming a very real reality but I do not want a failed attempt Im just cant fight anymlre

  171. I’m 13 years old. I have deppression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. My life sucks. My dad completely ignores me and my mom abuses me (verbally)
    I am crying while writing this because my mom just made it clear to me how mentally retarded i am. I am the runt of my family and i have such a terrible life. Honestly. I feel stuck, helpless, abused, and mistreated and all I can do besides kill myself is cry and attempt to live. whenever i try to talk to my dad about my mom , he ignores me and thinks im lying. i hate my life. i would pay someone to kill me.

  172. my brother commited suicide in 2014 a week after my birthday and to this day i dont know what to do anymore i just keep thinking how unfair it is and how much it hurts

  173. Im gonna do suicide soon. I cant stand the pain eating at me…..my whole family hates me. I’ve ruined everything in life. Im only 14 so i haven’t had much life but its all been terrible. Idk why im writing this. Maybe someone reads and acknowledges my existance. I dont know anymore im rambling. Goodbye everyone.

  175. I’m preparing to commit suicide soon the hardest part to me is saying goodbye to my wife and my mom and brothers.ive tried before and have been suffering ever since when you hate who you are it makes it easier .

  176. PLEASE DON’T DO IT. I lost someone very special to me yesterday. was he a friend? Was he my crush, i dont know. He was that guy that my eyes enjoyed looking at, he always bothered me, made me laugh, help me with anything that i need & I lost him, before i even got a chance to tell him how i really feel about him. And i’ll never get over him. God, i wish if the clock went back just to hug him and tell him yes! I’m insanely in love with you… Please god please…

  177. I’m just 12 and I’m gonna commit suicide everything that has happened in my life everything bad was all my fault and they keep telling me to die and i think that i should but when I’m gone i know that nowhere is gonna notice because i didn’t mean anything to nowhone

  178. Im 43 yrs old. I extend my life becuase i love my 5 kids. I know that they dont to have see how ruin situation i have i with my wife. I love my wife and i want to give enough of everything i have. My situation is that back in yr 1999 i was introduces to methamphetamine. I cant control it. Arguement was severe with my wife. Since 2003 when i got married to her in the church, i tried very hard to improve myself to become a man for a family. I fiixed myself and took my time in rehab and proved her that love her and wanted to do better. I havent touch any drugs from 2003-2010. And i earned my GED. At least have something to show my kids that i did something. But something is not enough and she is not contented that i did change and achieved something. I was doing better and we bought a house 2013 and realized no appreciations and what so ever. She yell at me all time and did mind because maybe im still damage and did wanna go back there in rehab. Argued continues. Disgrace my family because they have ruin life too and i didnt wanna hear it all the time. Started to use meth again and im affraid that blame is on me. Want to save my family but how. And just want it to kill myself. Because i dont wanna go back to zero

  179. My mom hanged herself on the 31 October 2016. She was lonely and depressed for many years, she also hated her work and she was worried about her future (pension) she did not have suffiecient funds. We were shocked as she left no note and we are struggling to come to terms with her sudden parting. Im not angry at all I just have tremendous guilt because I should of done more for her and my heart aches for the manner in which she died, all alone.

  180. I have been suicidal on and off since I was 14.All my life, I have done my best to be a good person, and all my life the only person who loved me for who I am was my mom.She died 6 1/2 months ago.The next day, I overdosed and spent a day in a near coma and on a ventilator.Most of my remaining family members couldn’t even be bothered to come see me in the hospital.My narcissistic uncle must have secretly loved what I did, he has been nothing but emotionally abusive to me and/or ostracized me and my kids for years.I was found by my 13 year old daughter.I am secretly so angry with her for calling 911 , how sick is that?.My baby saved my life and I’m not even greatful about it.I have nobody now but my kids.No friends, because I guess I’m unworthy of that to.Im alive, but I do not want to be.At 42, I am old and used up and ready to go.Ive had enough.

  181. To anyone having thoughts of suicide, I send a prayer to you that all of your mourning turns into joy. Do not blame yourself for what has been done to you, forgive yourself for what you feel as if may have caused whatever has happened to you to happen. Everyone is their own individual and special person so no matter what anyone says, thinks, or does to you ; you have made it this far because you are a survivor and destined for greatness.
    Don’t ever give up and don’t ever give in. Keep pushing through whatever it may be because somewhere there is someone praying just for you. Be blessed everyone.

  182. Mu dsughter just remcently tried to committ sucide . I am guessing she changed her mind when she told me to ger her to a hospital. She has a realy rough few years she was raped by a friend. She has chrons disease where she got criticslly ill was and out of hospitals for months during one of these hiospitakizations my mother died they were very clise. Because of her health her wounding almost a year later now her socisl lufe beecame null. She soent most her time locked in her rooom onbthe internet. I am not sure what happened the day she took the pills i do know it was five days before a 7 day cruise we were realy looking foward to. I am hoping to get some answers this week as i her mither is scared frustrated and worried about her.

  183. My name is Ryan I am 13 and have been cutting my self and have been yelled at for no reason. I get beat up at school. Many peopl

  184. I am going to die .my age 21 years .i am fail my life .but I am single.

  185. My little sister, just a couple days ago, told her therapist that she wanted to commit suicide. So I rode with her on the ambulance to the hospital (we are 16 and 14 so our dad met us there of course), and now she’s been admitted to a psych ward. I feel terrible, because I was so clueless about everything, and she hid things from me is what I’ve found out too, like she was cutting and starving herself. I always thought we were super close best friends, but I guess maybe she doesn’t really feel that way, and I’m so sad and I still want to be there for her and do what I can. I was so mad when I found out, too, and I tried not to let it show but she can always tell. I don’t know what to do and I want her to feel better, to feel absolutely great with no cares in the world, because whenever she’s hurting I’m hurting too. I want her to always stay in my life. What can I do to be a good supportive older sister?

  186. Nainaram, Please know that you are worthy and you are important. We care and we are here to listen. Chat online with one of our HopeCoaches at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  187. I think everybody has his reason to commit suicide, but I think we have to fight for the people we love and for the people we are everything to them. I now how this feels I tried it so many times and I am only 18 years old, but I have to fight for so many reasons even if I want to commit suicide. I lost so many people in my life, my family dosen’t want me, 2 of my best friends killed themselve, and I tried it 4 times, but even if I am sad that I am still alive I am a little bit glad too because I want to see the world and live my life. So even if you think nobody loves you, so many people around you love you even if you still won’t notice this. Stop it, I know YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! Because I can and I will. Since I were 12 I cut myself so many times and now I have to stop. If you think about committing suicide think about the people you love and what you really mean to them. And if this won’t help you I can’t stop you and I won’t stop you because I UNDERSTAND why YOU want to do this.

  188. My close friend is suicidal, and yesterday she started cutting herself. From what I can tell, she’s been suicidal for quite a while, but she doesn’t seem to have the usual hiding and crying behavior. She tells almost all of her friends (a lot of the times that’s me), and tells us she’ll cut like it’s no big deal. She refuses to say why she feels this way, but I know she’s attempted suicide in the past. I just don’t know what to do, because I want to be there for her but she gives me a lot of anxiety. Help..

  189. First, thanks to this site’s owner for allowing me to be respectfully direct about my impressions about the contemporary US mental health situation. I’m encouraged there are people who want others’ suffering to end. But I think the word “hope” in the expression “there’s always hope” reflects a critical thematic misapprehension. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, “hope” is to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment; to have confidence, trust; or to look forward to with confidence or expectation. It simply is not true that there is always something to look forward to with confidence or expectation. That is a biased assessment determined by a cultural value and an individual’s reflection on her/his own life. It’s not an objective fact. Hoping for something, or even working hard towards it, doesn’t guarantee it will come about. There isn’t even any natural law that requires the harder we work for something the more likely we must be at attaining it. If what someone is hoping for happens to be something integral to survival or healthy development, yet which is a commodity subject to sufficient competition, she/he may have to do without. And this may mean the person dies or suffers. That is a fact of life. We don’t all get the things we desperately want or hope for or need. It’s disingenuous, or worse, to offer the suffering platitudes we all know are fallacies. Sometimes there is no hope. Wishing or saying otherwise doesn’t change that.
    I also want to point out that, just like judges, lawyers, and police officers, mental health workers are just average people doing a job. There’s no reason either the mental health system or the mental health workers one comes in contact with must be patient or compassionate or affirming or helpful. If you peruse the honest recountings of many who’ve been through many mental health systems, you see that often, perhaps ironically, mental health is none of these constructive things. There are very many things that can go wrong along the conveyer belt of mental health. I don’t mean to discourage people from seeking help. Not at all. But it’s naive of our culture to think mental health can address even most of the serious problems out there. In fact, according to our own federal government’s expert analysis, and as reported in April 2016 in the New York Times, the US is experiencing our highest suicide rates in 30 years. That statistic is inconsistent with the model of our culture and the mental health system being well equipped to take care of people’s emotional needs.
    I don’t mean to be a downer, but if our culture is going to attack suicide and depression effectively, we should start with some very frank, respectful, open discussions about WHY so very many Americans are deeply depressed, instead of assuming that depression is always treatable–or that the suicidal are always depressed. Censoring people’s expressions, disparaging them when they’re being honest, smothering them with vacuous platitudes, and washing our hands of them as we ship them off to “mental health” only make matters worse.

  190. I have what i consider to be a plethera of problems. I am beautiful and very gifted. But i am cursed in many ways. I was born into a life that wasn’t fair for me. I am currently 19 years old and i have a beautiful daughter who isn’t even a year yet. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at an early age, and have been going to extensive therapy sessions every day since age 6. The truth is a lot is wrong. I was forced into prositiution and am still recovering. This is still a secret i hold with myself today. Both of my parents were alcoholics and drug abusers. My mother would lock us out of the house in below freezing conditions, or make us eat the scraps off the floor. The abuse was relentless. My own brothers were taken advantage of for child pornography. No this is not an exaggeration, this was my life. I was lucky and very blessed to have been adopted by my grandmother after both of my biological parents died. She is kind and driven, and she motivates me and has given me every possible tool to do the impossible. And that is too overcome. She does real estate and is very wordly, and always gives because she is a selfless person. I have alot of positive attributes from her. I am strong myself. I am attending an engineering school, and have a full ride scholarship. I even was blessed to have met some extrordinary people who fuel my dreams and passions. Which is to become a Pilot. I fly regularly and it gives me something to look forward too.. However, i am all alone. My family is all deceased or gone, and my daughter and i have no real help. I was diagnosed with Lupus and i am in pain on a constant basis. I seem to somehow destroy my relationships. I have came to the conclusion that I can not have a functioning relationship to due a lack of intamicy, abandonment issues, trust issues, etc. I am tired of living this way and desperately want to change. The only issue is the how. I am struggling with the how. Life is becoming more and more obselete and painful. I have a man in my life now, who is very important to me. He is kind and gentle with my daughter, but i have been so terrible lately and so shrouded in depression that i believe i have ruined that relationship too. He does not have any mental illnesses and doesn’t understand me.I am incredibly misunderstood. I am beginning to feel more and more isolated, lonely and depressed in our seemlingly good relationship. Sex is bad, and i feel rejected. I don’t feel wanted, and it messes with my head. No matter what I can’t open up. Even though i am wanted. I also can’t feel intamite or not see it as a transaction. We are living together and i think soon i will be moving again, as things won’t be working out. Since this is the tenth time he has slept on the couch. I can’t go down there to talk to him because i don’t have anything to say. I am quiete and reserved with him out of my own fear. I don’t know how to fix myself anymore. I just want to end all the pain, i want to die. For once, I want to be normal, to feel normal. To be able to be in public without feeling shameful about myself. I have already written a suicide note and have my exit plan within place. The only thing that holds me back is my daughter. She is innocent and deserves everything life has to offer her. I don’t necessarily know if i can provide that, or if i can be the person she needs. However, i can say i did my best and that is al that matters to me. I have realized I am not my self anymore. I now believe i am a burden. I have thoughts that haunt me and aren’t my own. One’s that will help push me to make that forever descision of commiting suicide. I believe that it is time for me to go. I really do feel that i don’t have anyone and i can’t go to anyone. I have begun isolating myself over a period of time. I believe that it isn’t just the unbearable pain, but that i am misunderstood. Nobody will ever understand this agony i endure on a daily basis. I wish things were different. I have given this a lot of thought, and this was not a simple decision for me.

    • Leslie this is JAY i am sorry i slept on the couch i always wanted you and loved you i still do i miss you ellie and luke our son and daughter know i am here

  191. I’m completely depressed even though I want to die.. Somewhere I’m willing to liv but totally my life became hell..my own mother is enemy for me … She don’t like me ..she vl hit me for everything.. Y do she gave birth for me on this earth I donoo. Aleast in my next birth I want to born as dogs puppy it has lov for them..

  192. Still after reading this i still want to commit suicide.My Mom just treats me horribly,all my friends just bully me and I just slit my wrist

    • I understand that the feelings can be so strong and just reading a blog post is not enough. Sometimes we really need to talk to somebody we can trust about how we are feeling. Our HopeCoaches are trustworthy and they understand. We areavailable 24/7 and everything you say is confidential – please click the “chat now” button or go to this page https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  193. I really want to die too.. I feel like there is no solution for my issues I’m 27 stepping to 28 and still haven’t pocket money ..I’m not working coz my dad doesn’t allow me if I did he will whip me so hard …Mom hates me since I was born she told me that the first time she hit me was when I was just 6 months old ..I’m so talented …I paint beautiful things I’m so smart I was smart at school but nothing make my parents love me…now they prevent me of working coz they don’t want me to be independent …Mom yell on my face for anything even if I open the window she will find a reason to yell on me.. I tried my best to find a way to go out of their life I want to study college I want to have a job and have my own apartement I don’t want my parents in my life anymore but I can’t coz I live in Saudi Arabia the law will be in my parents side even if I run away they will call the police to catch me and they will punish me…I tried to call UNHCR they didn’t answer me I send them an email …no response …can anybody tell me if there is any other solution.
    And one more thing my dad keeps my passport with him in Cement cabinet locked..even my passport doesn’t allow me to go to any democratic country I’m like in prison I hate my life

  194. This is the third time in my life that I’ve truly thought about and am planning suicide (no attempts yet). They say it’s impossible to miss God’s plan for your life, but I know that isn’t true because I did two years ago when I made a bad choice thinking it was what I had to do to keep God from punishing me. He had so much for me if I had only been brave enough and strong enough to see through the lies. I was a new Christian, wasn’t strong in faith yet and Satan came and took everything from me, and I let him. It’s my fault and I hate myself for it. My life was almost something beautiful….now it’s trash and means nothing.
    I’m ready God….please accept me into Your Kingdom…

    • God is in the Redeeming business. You can be set free from your past. The whole reason Christ came was to forgive us. You are forgiven and there is still a wonderful plan for your life. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches and tell them your story. They will listen and understand you. Please don’t give up. Click the chat now button or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  195. I realised today that I get why people commit suicide.
    Sadly suicide is a pretty common occurrence in my family. My grandfather killed himself, his brother as well, his father and his uncle committed suicide, also two brothers of the generation before them. Further back I have got no information.
    Some of them had small children. All of them left devastated families behind.
    The generation of my mother is the first without suicide.
    I always was sad and angry at my grandfather for leaving his daughters and grandchildren behind.
    And I am always afraid the line will continue.
    But just now I get why one would consider committing suicide.
    One could finally stop struggling. Finally stop fighting and being scared and crying and unable to scream.
    Everything would just stop.
    This sadly sounds so desirable.

    • That is a lot of trauma in one family. And it sounds like you may be struggling with your own depression or a very difficult situation that would cause you to say that it could sound desirable. Please do not give in to this line of thinking. There is hope. Imagine if your relatives could have had someone to turn to, some place to get help. You have that help right here. You can chat with one of our HopeCoaches right now. Just click the “chat now” bubble or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp Please do not give up. There is hope and help available to you.

    • One more thing to consider. In the United States in 2016, 90% of people who died by suicide had a diagnosable mental health disorder. That means they could have been treated with counseling, medication, and other resources. Please get help and talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling.

  196. I get tired of my life and have contemplated suicide before I’m a 35 yr old male married 14yrs two pre teen kids boy and girl Im in a financial rut no matter how much I make is not enough I can’t convince my wife to move off her parents property they are a financial burden and dont take responsibility and make good choices with their money I married her not the whole family privacy is rare I seem to be always looked down on by her brothers and sisters my relationship with my mom is terrible my dad passed when I was 19 we were best friends my life has been a downward spiral since I almost OD when I was 20yrs old on meth I woke up ice cold with blue lips and blue finger nails I feel like Im not needed my job sucks my wife spends so much money shopping for name brand items its sickening at times ive made 4k in two weeks and it’s never enough maybe I’m not enough…

    • You really have a lot of different stressors going on in your life. Have you and your wife ever tried going to counseling? It sounds like you work hard for your family, but that the spending is out of control. Suicide is not an answer. Communicate with your wife and get a mediator/counselor to help you both work through the financial stress, to work on a budget together, and to deal with the stress of being near extended family. You sound like a good father and provider. You are enough and the money you are making is enough. It is time to talk through all of these issues openly with the help of a trusted professional.

  197. I dont know how to do this but i w i ll try i am 52 years old and never married i lost my job 6 months ago never had anything or accomplished anything in my life dont know how to have a relationship i have a daughter who is about to go to college and dont have anyone to talk to my family is mall and really disfunctional my mother i had to come stay with her but my whole life she never believed i could or would amount to anything. And she os right she says thing$ to me i just walk away its every day and noone to talk to sucks if i ask my sister any thing she gets mad and cant burden my daughter she is about to start a new life i tell her to go to college get away from this messed up family. So i want to get away too so i am about to commit suicide i will be c completely alone now the pain of living is terrible

    • You have an amazing daughter about to attend college and your daughter really needs you. She is a reason to live. Please don’t give up. Look for a support group or a church to join. There is a really great group called “Celebrate Recovery” that is for anyone with hurts. There is probably a group in your area and it is free – https://www.celebraterecovery.com/index.php/cr-groups You can make a change and turn your life in a new direction. It is never too late for a new beginning. Your daughter will be so proud of you for stepping out into something new.

  198. Just curious how old do you have to be on this site

  199. Suicidal for 40 years. Repeatedly tried and failed…. so tired. Why don’t they legalize assisted suicide?

  200. This isnt for debate or controversy. Every person struggling with this crippling illness has a story of their own & i can write a book on mine which started back in my tender years of elementary to this very day. Why God has me here only he knows but i do think or would like to is God wouldnt bring me back from what could have been everlasting damnation only to kick me back there. In either case depression is too real, those who struggle with it did not ask for this curse, it seemed to cherry pick the lucky ones it feel it has control over, to further destroy ones existence by attacking the mind into believing we are no good. More is the way society treats you as well, you never can afford to let them know your thinking. They use it for a playground unaware depression can hit, strike or afflict at any age, race or creed. During my years in the military i couldnt afford to let anyone know my struggles with depression, it was unheard of & would open a door to dismiss you. While in the military it got worse which forced me to go on medication to this day or i wouldnt be writing this. There may be many who try to understand but it isnt a good place to place yourself in. They dont get it as much as theyd like to help. Others try to analyze what they hope never befall them. Others state it is a weakness…..a easy cowardly thing to say until it afflicts them. Much is to learn from this silent killer in itself. It affects your health, mental state of consciousness. Meds can only keep the curse at bay as long as you stay on a faithful regimen, there is no cure, so the studies go on.

  201. Hi. I’m Emily I sometimes I feel like committing suicide because if I’m not being rejected I am being abused I tried cutting my veins but I didn’t succeed because I am very scary and I hate to see blood and I know if I kill my self many people will be sad I want to live my life until God his self show me that it is time to died and I have my things I’d like to do. So i asked my self why should I die then again I asked why live but looking at the comments u guys saved me from suicide.
    Thanks for leaving me with a life 🙂

    • I am so thankful you found our website! And I am so very glad that you are here. I am sure that God has a very special plan for your life. You are precious to God and to us.

  202. Been in many relationships and it’s been 1 heart ache after another and another I can’t have children of my own I’m divorced my credit got all messed up cuz my ex spent more than I can afford I’ve always struggled with depression and the feeling of being alone my current gf says she loves me but she isn’t IN LOVE with me she has a son but doesn’t want me even as a step father, I kno I’ll never have a family of my own so what’s the ppint to continue to live if you have nothing or nobody to live for?

  203. I am going to do it today. I’m just so tired of not being good enough.

  204. i want to kill myself. my husband never wants to communicate with me unless hes being mean. its the worst when we go out and he treats me like a stray dog. he will talk to everyone but me and just leave me sitting by myself.he smiles and flirts with other women right in front of me as well. he has said the cruelest things to me in the last 12 years. also I found a LOT of pictures of another woman on his phone,it wasn’t anyone he knows, but a news personality on one of the big networks, but it still hurt, I mean I used to be pretty but now I’m so repulsive he doesn’t even want to look at me. I also found porn, and when I asked him about it, he said, “the female body is a beautiful thing”. mind you, he never wants to share intimacy with me very often(not for lack of trying on my part). when we do get intimate he says its because he needs the release, and i feel like a blow up doll, seriously.we also have a lot of financial problems. also I suffer from chronic migraine.we have 4 kids, and although they are whats keeping me alive, I also feel that they would be better off without a loser mother like me. I have very little support from my family of origin, and my friends are all busy and I hate to bother them. I forgot he said he looked at that news lady so much because shes not only beautiful but smart and accomplished, she’s done something with her life. I just feel so useless after all of this. I really feel stuck and like nothing will ever get better, in fact it all just gets worse

    • Your children need you. No one else will love them the way you do because you are their mother. I am sad for you that your marriage is in a bad place emotionally and physically. Don’t let that rob you of the joy of being a mom of four great kids. His actions have nothing to do with you and everything to do with his own issues and addictions. This is a really helpful free eBook about porn addiction and how it affects intimacy and relationships – http://info.thehopeline.com/porn-addiction
      Please know that he is the one with the problem, not you.

  205. I’m 50 now. Had anxiety and depression probably since I was young, though back then I was called excitable and emotional. It seems calling people who feel like me emo is still a a fun, cruel thing.
    So many people are cruel naturally or ignorant and selfish. I’m not talking about suicidal people. Telling suicidal people what to do doesn’t help them. But kind words and actions and being there makes all the difference.
    50 years on I’m tired of talking so much. Less people listen. Less help. They get tired and I’ve already been tired so long. I wish God would take me from this world to him. Unfortunately I don’t think it works that way. Does depression and waiting to die work for him either though?
    I have no one that really relies on me.For so long I’ve gone in circles. No human has any right to attack me. If you can’t be compassionate and mindful you are part of the problem.

  206. My wife is over100 pounds overweight and I am no longer attracted to her. My kids are both entitled spoiled brats who believe their wants (not needs) come first. I am the sole provider, Mortgage, insurance, you name it. I do it all, but I am treated like refuse. I want to cancel the life insurance policy as well as the pension and teach them all a lesson when I off myself.

    • ungrateful ppl im dealing with the same thing

  207. i miss you and i shouldn’t. i should hate you. you nearly destroyed my friendship with my best friend and i still dont know why. but deep down i still care. whats wrong with me? what happened to you…

  208. living with the thought of suicide every day is torture. i work hard and am having serious financial issues with the irs and my husband blames me for everything that isnt perfect. forget the cpa folks we paid to do our books for 8 years, its still my fault. i hate fault and blame… it only sends you backwards. he recently had an affair with a co-worker half his age. my adult children found out before I did. I was out of town for our business when he and she got caught. my kids were devastated. i was in shock for weeks. i just asked him to stay and work it out. although very mean for weeks, he stayed and lightened up. i want to commit suicide to pay off the irs and give him back his precious monies he holds over me so often. as i said, this is every day torture. every day.

    • Those are really tough struggles to deal with. It’s wild how life can throw things at you that you never ever expected. It’s good you are on here talking about what’s going on and not holding everything inside. We care about you. God cares about you. He sees your pain and wants to walk with you through the struggles. And from your other comment, it sounds as if your children care deeply about you as well. God is with us and can helps us grow even in the most devastating of circumstances. Please chat with us more about this at: http://www.TheHopeLine.com/gethelp.

  209. Hi to all the people out there who want to hurt themselves, the family you leave behind hurts the most,you do not want to do this,do something at that moment that you like to do most ,like go walk your dog they are your friend ,do something fun ,i play the heck out of my drums Ha ha ,and please have some fun in life ,remember life is a gift to all that God gave to us.I think this is a goal for all of you ,please know that you are someone important to someone close to you.Always remember when you make someone smile at you ,and happy to see you ,ps your friend Todd.

  210. Hi this is prince .. Im 20yrs old .. I have one little sister, mom , papa .. I hv so many dreams for my future but just because of my nagetive thoughts i cant sleep , i cant read etc etc ..So this is d last option for me

  211. My name is Raven…ive been sexually molested by my biologic laents who are still trying to get me bavk. Long story. Ive had severe depression to the point where i dont want to wake up…i just want to go to sleep so all my ain can go away. My grandmother treats me like a dog and puts me down 24/7 i have no reason to stay hre. I have a high tolorence to pain so cuttinmyself foesnt hurt but still relieves a bit of stress and all….she pushes me to the side andangles money over my head. I reach out for help but no one beleives me since her son tag teams sith her and they are both pathological liars…they know i hate my life and want to doe…always rubbing it in my face. She says im not getting took out of the house bc thats what i want…ve never been happy…i am so sorry to be a burden to yall but i needed to vent before i finally end my pain…tell my sister i love her those who know me….god bless yall…

  212. I just recently lost my wife to suicide. She was my wife, my business partner is our two-man advertising agency which we just started and are trying to make ends meet. After my mom passed on, I only have her as family as I’m an on my child. My relatives are all abroad and have their own lives. When she died, I lost it all. My wife, my business partner, my family. Working the business seems difficult because we had separate roles in the company. I can’t do hers. Our finances were mostly receive and pay as we built up the business. So no savings, a rented house. In grief I can’t even try to pick myself out of bed let alone think about work. No support system. Friends all disappeared after the first week because that is how long it takes to grieve to them. I leaned on another friend for support, but she too has her own life and going through my emotions can be frustration. Now I feel alone, isolated, misunderstood, guilty for being a burden, and weak for not being able to be okay faster to get on with things. I try a little everyday. Then fall again. Everyday I am caught between wanting to end my life too or continuing to keep her in my memory. The counsellor I see is a bit pushy, inexperienced, and everyone wants a timeline. It’s been a month and I’m supposed to be better. The home we have is empty without her. And this was someone who spent 24/7 with me due to working together as well as staying together. We didn’t have many friends because we were busy and rather introverted. I don’t know what to do, I feel lost, alone, and hopeless. Friends have said, go out with friends more and be with company. Same friends who are not there to do it as they feel uncomfortable. Nor sure why I’m writing this here. Not coping well. And I’m struggling to see past this and keep thinking of the same way out.

    • My condolences. I cant say for sure but I would like to believe that your wife would want you to go on and keep trying. Do you have a local support group you can join? In reading an awful lot about this topic, I have come to find that although there are exceptions, generally speaking, people who havent been through this or shared similar feelings, can’t quite understand where youre coming from, and a part of me gets that. I wouldnt wish these feelings on anyone. But people who have been through and share similar feelings, tend to be better listeners and supporters for each other. Best wishes.

  213. It’s always assumed that a suicidal person is mentally unstable. No one ever considers that it might be that the culture is so unhealthy and dysfunctional that a healthy minded rational person refuses to live under such tyranny. No average citizen fully programmed into a culture hardly ever considers the possibility that they may be mentally unhealthy. This is what the rational suicide sees and knows.

  214. I hate myself.. I’m the reason of my pain and everything that happens to be and the people surrounded by me. I’m 16 years old and have the brain of 6 yr, I had social anxiety disorder in past it stopped me from living I really was life less and lame, I tried to overcome it and did but when I did I found out that in this time I was trying to overcome my anxiety people did amillion things, I feel like empty anyways I overcame this too -kinda- then I was like I want to have friends and enjoy the rest of myself I joined a gym to keep on healthy and see new people well I did talk to a good amount of people but they didn’t consider me as a friend.. I went through this and tried to have friends in school, the same thing happened.. I told myself maybe I just can’t find anyone that understand me but then found out that I was the reason why people didn’t want to talk to me anymore.. The reason why they hated me, Idk I have this magic that make people hate me and when I tried to change and be charismatic and stuff but I had that magic too that makes my unlearnable that made my hate myself even more, another reason that made me really hate myself that my childhood wasn’t a good one I was doing stuff that a kid in 12 yr can’t and shouldn’t do but I just didn’t know my parents knew it but didn’t say anything from the shameness…..life to me now is like turning the pages of an empty book,

  215. I can understand the feeling of not only abuse but also the feeling like dying part. I also have dreams and even imagine killing myself but at the time I always wish to live for something but how can someone when you either feel like your not wanted or the fact that you are being to force to live a life that you never ask to have. People always say that you have to live for yourself or the so called people that cared but who really can say someone truly care without placing some type of other views that face the same thing instead of truly understanding what someone else is going through because everyone’s life is not the same and comparing someone else’s doesn’t make it understandable. It isn’t as easy as saying you care because truly those words always feel false because someone random so called care when really they know nothing about you and even if they did get to know you they could never truly understand how that person felt unless they could magically get inside their mind and pain that weighs on them which may seem different from others aspect of what they consider pain. We all have a breaking point and judging your own onto someone will not make you understand because its not something your worried about such as work or even school while some face bullying and can ignore it there are some that affect them in ways that is shown as their worst fear even isolation from having inner doubts of yourself. I always hear my family tell me to get over it butto me I’m not strong like them and I’m sensitive to things since I grew up fragile from all the expectations and abuse as well as the lack of attention and love from my family which made me feel like I was more of a burden being born and always wishing to never exist because I always felt that life would have been better because I could never be what my family wanted me to be. Growing up I just felt like I was just there but never really there because of how I grew up having to be so I would constantly punch walls, pull my hair, and even stab my leg with pencils as I got to middle school which gotten worse from the verbal and physical bullying and started to burn myself as I got to high school. I sometimes just felt nothing and sometimes my body just felt numb not even feeling like eating and constantly sleeping and crying silently. Nobody seemed to even noticed and I just have no clue why I try to look at something positive when it always fails to turn out to be something good. Life sucks and those that fit always seem better at coping but it only makes me even more depressed because no matter how much I smile and laugh deep down I just feel like dying and cursing my very existence and not being someone my family wished to be. Where is hope when you have nothing but walls and walls of darkness that always find its way to hold you down and when you feel like you have something to fight for then that small light of hope is just crushed under the massive weight of expectations and living which in itself can be a very hard thing to get out of.

  216. how can a doctor or any professional help provide the love that one lost???????????????????????????????????????

  217. Does anyone believe if you commit suicide will God send you to hell?? I have borderline personality disorder, and can’t cope with it anymore.

    • I honestly dont think so. I think there might be some form of “punishment” per se based on the many different religious viewpoints I have studied, but certainly nothing eternal. To me that flies in the face of any of the reasons why we experience life on earth. Regardless, I hope you do not go through with it. I believe you can get through it. Best wishes.

  218. Hi, I live I. Washington state with my son in law and daughter. We rent in a hoaxers house, he is digusting and verbally abusive. My son in law is out of work from construction, and my daughter will be whatever she can not to. He gets paid weekly and they make enough money to move on if they wish, but the landlord makes it cheep for then. She 3 of us do some stuff together but mostly just the 3 of them, they even leave there dog with me all the time. I have been alone except for my baby dog. And I do not make enough mo eye to get even low housing. I can’t afford to drive a car. My eyes are bad, I broke the upper front tooth in the front. Hav
    D one made and accidentally threw it W away. $900 I don’t have. My joints are all degenerating and my weight is climbing , I Have put on40 lbs this year alone ..I am technicall married, are wedding was in Sept 2005, we separated in 2010, back together then week before he left took the the dogs, etc, he had already bought a house, he had left us n a trailer I couldn’t afford. Si cue then I have turned 61, no one looks at me, I swear I might just as well be invisible. I hang on for my service dog, and she is 11 and si k, and when she goes I go, unless my life changes. Thank you for listening

  219. My viewpoint is somewhat different. I have a long-term health condition that prevents me being able to work. In the UK you are treated with suspicion by the powers that be if you apply for benefits. You are thought to be either a criminal, a liar, or at best a whinger. You are dependant for your continued existence on people who treat you with the utmost contempt. My question is, if you are unable to work, should you commit suicide? What I mean is, would that be the right thing to do – the laudable thing? It is often called ‘the coward’s way out’, and yet living on charity handouts is hardly any better. Do you see? It does seem to make more sense, since you aren’t contributing to society anymore, to remove yourself from it.

  220. I am 36, recently learned that I am on the autism spectrum. I grew up in virtual isolation; I went to school and was forced to go to church weekly hence virtual. The household that I grew up in was ripe with abuse, constant fighting and a father who suffered diagnosed “depression”. We weren’t allowed to have friends. The ASD diagnosis explains much, the daily personal routine of walking the boundary of the schoolyard during recess, standing alone by a garbage can, sitting alone on the school bus, and not fully understanding things around me, etc. And yes, I was bullied. Being bullied perhaps made me hyper-aware of myself and my actions to a point that I forced my brain into hyperdrive to manage and “hide myself”. There’s only a limited amount of people who would understand it when I say that I “woke up” within the past few years after suicide ideation since I was about 16. I was moderately successful but now on disability, barely able to function. And due to the isolation, making friends or family simply isn’t readily available. It amazes me how quick “friends” flee when you tell them that you’re on disability and suicidal save for one really good friend one who I don’t know how long I can depend on as I know the strain I put on her. I don’t have anyone else. I do what I can as difficult as it is. The only thing I have is disability benefits for as long as they hold.
    When I went on disability my brain was as I can describe it now, beyond fatigued due to my constant overdrive state. I struggle now with basic tasks and sleep a lot. Looking ahead at 30ish more years of dealing with my life isn’t overly appealing. And looking at the writings on the wall of my parents, my future is bleak; I’ve figured out and learned that from my personal self-realization that likely both of my parents had/has some form of ASD, my father very likely. My mother I believe either it is asd but possibly mild schizophrenia. These statements come with years and years of trying to figure out the why’s. And to add insult, my grandfather on my mother’s side at the very least had electroconvulsive therapy in its more earlier form.
    Alongside my ASD, one of the symptoms is aversion to people. I get tired easily. The world doesn’t seem real, it is like watching the world through a lense/television. I live in a glass shell where I cope best if I pretend no one sees me. I don’t leave my house much with exception of going to my friends house. And I get, as I describe, disoriented when trying to do stuff that takes a lot of hand-eye- coordination, this includes walking in the backyard and even gardening. When i go outside I feel like everyone is watching me; I am hyper-aware. This has always been the case, I’ve only become aware of it.
    People talk about “getting help” and so on. Its great if help exists to combat ones mental disease/illness but the reality is that mental illness cannot be cured and help is oftentimes limited.
    At least I can say that I stuck around long enough to figure myself out and the reasoning for the living conditions growing up (not that it makes much difference). I grew up in a world unique to its own. And I still live in a world unique to its own. But I really do want it to end.

  221. Nothing has gone right for me in the last few years I lost my job. I’m out of money. All I’m good for is being used by others I’m worth more dead than alive. I don’t want to exist anymore when I look at the present and future all that I have experienced is bad things happening to me. When I look at the future there is only pain and despair as far as I can see. I am tired of my life being Groundhog Day

  222. Here is my 2 cent…
    I been wanting to die since i was 12…and i first tried to commit suicide when i was 13.
    Im now 42. And for me i have tried to see a doctor i have tried a whole bunch of anti depressent pills and i have tried counseling and so far no luck.
    My last attempt to kill my self landed me 2 months in a mentalhealth hospital i lost my job and my family.
    So after i got out from hospital i had to live at the only place i could afford a rented room in a gouse with 8 drug addicts, so that wasnt really helpful.
    Now i have spend 3 months at a friends sofa. But in a few weeks i will start a new job …. and i will get my own place to live so thats good. Can wait to sit on a air madrass and lusten to my head just scream and scream and my hands start to shake again.
    Makes you wonder how much worse can it be on the otherside.

  223. I want to die. My husband died 5 years ago this month. He left a journal with how he felt – apologizing for the abusive parts of our connection and recalling the loving ones. We were together 24 years. My identity is caught up in his life. We have our daughter who’s 19. She has no connection with life like myself. She has experienced 5 years of meds and therapy. In and out patient. I’ve been there every step of the way. My mother who’s 84 lives with us and her health condition is progressively become worse. I feel I made many moves to accommodate everyone. My efforts seem fruitless. I have dated only to become used and not good enough in the eyes of these men. Actually makes me miss my spouse more. I’m thinking of pills and carbon monoxide. I plan to leave a note for my family. And changing my will- to solely support my child. I’m sick everyday and have no interest in life. I love horses and have used them in the past to help me. But after this weekend and revisiting with the old man friend- I feel he looks down on me as just a tool. I really miss my family. I want to join my husband. It’s not the same anymore. My daughter is watching me fall apart and that’s not good.

  224. I would add to the list as to why people feel like suicide
    No purpose
    No meaning in life
    Feel worthless

  225. I feel like I should commit suicide because why no the only ppl that love me is my boyfriend and god nobody else I cry every night when I say I wanna die I say that I’m kidding but I’m not! When ppl ask me am I okay I say yeah why wouldn’t I be but when I say hat I’m not really okay

    • You are valuable and worthy. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that will call you and help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.

  226. If we are seriously interested in understanding why people commit suicide (or do any other seemingly perplexing but non-random thing), then we should ask them and humbly listen to their answers (rather than telling them how to think and feel). On the matter of suicide in particular, our cultures do NOT act this way.

  227. I am 20 years old and I have lost everything my job my child and I can’t cope with the pain I have been left with I just want to die and there is someone stopping me but I can’t cope anymore

    • Brandon, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • excatly what im going through feels like endless plain and im in country
      all alone my wife and child left me and my child has been very sick
      lately and my job isnt going well seems like the world decided to fall
      upon myself

  228. My name is Juan and I just don’t I feel that I’m not even loved my dad hates me he thinks that you can do more better than me but I’m just hopeless I don’t know what to do but I have one passion is 2 do YouTube but my parents won’t let me because you think that I won’t have a better life then them but I am they said I’m not even good he’s was abusive but a little he made me cry and when I was12 but I will never forget that never I just feel like suicide of my own self because they say I’m not good or something else but I’m not good or other stuff they said I can’t do this I can’t do that but I have one passion is to do YouTube and I think it’s so hard to do but no it’s not I made a video seven years ago and I erased it because it was not good someone make 2019 so I’m going to tell everyone how I feel I live in Texas McKinney but I just want to suicide so bad because I just want to take my life away I just wanted that pain to go away because every time I Cry it hurts and it hurts

    • You are valuable and worthy! We understand your passion to do YouTube. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. Please email us at thehopeline.team@thehopeline.com and we can give you some more information to help you. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  229. I think a major contributing factor of suicide is how therapists treat people who are thinking of suicide such as depression. In some cases people need someone to talk to or sort out their personal hardships but instead are offered anti-depressant after anti-depressant. Many people who are lonely have difficulties that are preventing them from having friends and need resources to find friends. Anti-depressants offer nothing for them and they will continue to be lonely and depressed since their problem of not having friends isn’t addressed. You can prescribe all the anti-depressants on the planet but it won’t help them since the loneliness is causing the depression and until they can resolve their loneliness, their depressed thoughts will still be there. In fact they start to get discouraged when several anti-depressants don’t work when it is the fact that they are lonely that is making them depressed. They don’t have the resources to make friends and continue the cycle of loneliness that ultimately leads to depression and possibly suicide. Many people just need emotional support or a friend but instead therapists put them on anti-depressants that is only a bandaid to deal with a symptom of their loneliness – depression.

    • i know im ugly shy and spent 25 years alone i have hsv 2. i dont want to be with out companionship love sex but its never going to happen and dont want to live alone. i was also cyberbullied when i was online looking for a woman they put up my photo started rumors about me with my photo some pretty sick ones in this small city. i dont want to be alone so what other choice is there.
      jd from victoria

  230. we had everything, and were talking retirement. She was beautiful, regal woman, my wife, she took her own life 3 weeks ago, and i feel i was a catalyst after a big fight. she lied to me that morning when i asked her if she had suicide thoughts and i bought her bs story. I now lost my babe and i’ve got nothing left in my tank. I now know her pain and feel if I had wrapped her in a blanket of empathy in love instaed of impaitence re: her panic/anxiety attacks, she would still be here. I’m a lone wolf that now that is busted down the middle. I’ve got no hope, just nothing but abject misery, guilt and pain the likes i’ve never felt before. I’m seeing a counselor and support group, but they are just band aids. I don’t know how much longer i can deal with this, i’m absolutely devistated

  231. “I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about committing suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. ”
    I find this so offensive I barely have words. This is so demeaning!! You really have no clue what it’s like to truly suffer with depression.
    This is not something the sufferer will ever “get over”. I have never seen god “cure” a clinically depressed person. If a god existed and actually experienced depression he would have “miracled” it out of existence. This is not just “oh I feel sad.” but real physical and mental agony! There are days I would willingly cut off my right arm just to make it stop! Days that I can’t even find the will to get out of bed!
    The only thing to do is to survive one more hour, one more day, etc. till the urge to end it all goes away… but it always returns…. over and over.

    • Jim, We understand your concern for this comment that is included in our blog. Those are not our words, but the words of someone that reached out to our radio show and made this statement. Jordyn, that made this comment, struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression and her way of coping was to reach out to God, in prayer, to help her know she was not alone and to help her overcome her thoughts of depression and loneliness. You are right, depression is not something you can just “get over” and it is not “just feeling sad”. Please know that we do care about you and appreciate your feedback and comment. If there is anything we can do to help, please let us know. You are important and your are worthy and you do not have to struggle alone with your depression and thoughts of suicide.

      • There is no help for me. it’s just a matter of what’s the easiest way to kill myself. I don’t want to leave a mess for anyone to clean up and gross them out. All I really need is love. a person to hold and kissed share my self with… I’m 44 and have been with my wife around 30 years and we just had our 21st wedding anniversary. But my wife told me about 15 years ago she didn’t love me anymore and I believe her still to this day. We have 2 kids together and she has 2 kids by another man while we were repeated for a few years. one problem is her coldest daugher which is my stepdaughter who is 24 i have been having an affear with for a couple years and I’m so in love with her i can’t even think about any one else. We know it’s not right but it just happened and I can’t stop it. I love her and her son more than lofe. I’m so lost.i don’t have time now to finish this story. maybe later if I’m still around

        • Robby, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. No matter what you have done…God will forgive you. Just think about the people in your life that do care about you. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
          Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • Mohmmad
      you want the truth i have gun i check it 100 times a day , and i keep waiting that something might change , life is so hard i do not feel it worth living , right now i just want this depression that eating my brain out to end ,i want every thing to end , they keep saying am not alone , but am all alone no one understand what am going through , not to mention no matter what i say they keep getting judgmental saying how stupid i am how silly i am how much am not suppose to feel this way , but what i can do i wish it stops i wish every thing to stop i wish every one around me just vanish , am only a live because of my internal strength only , every one around me making it worse , they just putting me down and i just want every thing to stop , i want every thing to stop
      and in my horrible country there is no help for people like me , our lives just has no value to any one ,
      i feel so much want this to end

      • Mohmmad, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. This page has a list of crisis information and also a list of crisis centers around the world. https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources. How about signing up for an email mentor? It would be a man that you can talk to through email for as long as you like. Just go here to sign up and to find some other resources for help: https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/. Never give up on yourself. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches. We care. We are sending you all of these resources to your email address in case you do not see them here.

      • Do you know why you always survive?
        Because God has a purpose on you. Try reading bible so that you can find life its the most effective way to heal depression or suicide.

    • I feel the same way. After28 yrs, my husband just suddenly began treating me as though I were NOTHING!!! And I am at the point where I don’t believe anything is going to be able to stop me from getting relief from this unbearable suffering and heartache. It’s all I think about. I want it so bad! Because if this is how life is going to be….I don’t want any part of it anymore. I didn’t do anything wrong but I am abused every single day…& get no affection or positive attention EVER! I bought a rope today. And I’m not even afraid. And I am alone…& I can’t think of any reason to put it off anymore

  232. I feel the same and it’s been 9months now can’t stop thinking.intact am worried everyday as if something is about bad is about to happen.I have been rejected and since 9 months now I cry each day.iv lose concentration and can’t focus on everything.I tried suicide several times but I survived.I just can’t stay on earth with these whole problem. am really suffering. am in a bad state now feeling lonely with heartaches n severe panics

    • Addison, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • Addison, you matter. Please do not do this to yourself. You would never realize the people around you who care for you so much. It would affect everybody. Reach out to someone. You can even contact me, just talk. Please let this thought go. I know it isn’t easy, the pain is getting worse with time. But, YOU CAN DO THIS! There’s something great in store for you, I’m positive.

      • I don’t know why I saw this. Perhaps because I’m thinking about my Loved ones suicide in May of this year? I miss him so much. We have a son together. He’s 16. He was our rock. We feel lonely and empty without him now. He didn’t think we even cared, yet we lived our days around him. He never knew. If only he did know. It may have had an impact on his decision to end his life. That’s the thing with suicide. You don’t realize that you are truly loved. Now our days are filled with sadness. Complete with memories of things and places we went and did together. Even our dog is sad.

  233. I’ve suffered with mental illness for years now (bipolar, borderline personality disorder & emotional detachment disorder). however since the beginning of this year, I’ve suffered with severe depression, anxiety disorder and insomnia and I suspect I’m slowly turning into a psychopath. I’ve been moved from one medication to the next, been to jail, for psychology etc… but nothing seems to be working. The more help I get, the worse my depression, insomnia, anxiety and mental disorder becomes. I’ve confessed my sins to God, prayed and begged to Him, cried to Him and changed my bad ways but nothing seems to work. My whole life has been miserable ever since I was young. Was so lonely and broken.
    I feel as though suicide is the only way out. On my birthday I’m going to commit suicide. I hope God forgives me

    • Lesego,
      You are valuable and worthy and people care about you. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  234. I consider suicide everyday, I feel hopeless and unworthy, I left my longterm relationship because I felt like I wasn’t good enough, but now being on my own, I can’t afford all the bills on my own, rent is high for a small apt. I work hard everyday, and just can’t stay afloat, one extra thing like getting my car repaired leaves me struggling, and unable to catch up. I simply can’t afford to live much longer.

    • Lori, You are valuable and worthy! Life and bills can be very hard. Things will get better. Please do not give up. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. How about getting an email mentor to talk to long term? It would be a woman that you can email back and for with for as long as you like about anything. Talking about our frustrations helps to deal with them. To sign up go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/ We also have some resources we can give you to help you with your suicidal thoughts. Please check your email. We are emailing you a private number from our partner at Centerstone that you can call for help with your suicidal thoughts. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  235. I don’t know why but most of my time I spend by thinking about way to commit suicide or self harming.I don’t really want to die.I just want to have fun.I always thought I am crazy because I love to hurt myself.For me,pain is fun.I just want something to change.I hate my friends.They use me like a doll.I HATE THEM.That is why I wanna commit suicide.I have no one to talk with.They don’t care about my feelings.IT’S REALLY HURT.

    • You are valuable and worthy and do not deserve to be treated like this. Thank you for reaching out. It’s important that you continue to do this. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
      You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
      Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
      You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
      Since you are feeling suicidal please talk to any of the resources below through phone, online chat or text messaging. You are important and your life is valuable.
      The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255
      Or Chat with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
      Or Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
      Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many teens and young adults we have sent them overcome self-harm.

  236. I just want to die. It’s a horrible feeling waking up every day and wanting to die till I go to sleep. I don’t want help — I just want to be dead. There is nothing to live for.

    • Robert, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • Hey Robert ,
      I feel the same like you. I feel my life is hopeless and full of misery. You are so right it would be much better if i would,t exist.

  237. Dont do that. It wont solve your problem. It would be worse after your death. Pits of hell would be worse. If youre feeling alone try to read bible He is God He doesnt leave you, He loves us all that He sacrifise His son for us. Try to read bible you will find life and solution yo your problem.

  238. My husband committed suicide 7 months ago after an argument we had. I loved him more than anything on this earth and I feel so awful that HE felt so bad and that I must have caused it by what I said to him. I didn’t mean anything I said, just as I didn’t think he did when he was angry with me. I feel so bad that I could have made him feel so low. I don’t know how to get over this; I feel like life is not worth living without him and sometimes I just don’t know how I can go on. It was just a short argument and I said words I regret and apologized but I never thought he felt this bad. I loved him so much. I don’t think he ever believed it no matter what I did. I’d do anything for him and I miss him so much. Seven months later I am still sobbing and sick every day. I don’t think I’ll ever recover.

    • GMJ, First of all, we are so sorry you lost him to suicide and feel your pain and hurt. Secondly, We are proud of you for reaching out to talk about his. It is not your fault he decided to die by suicide. It was his choice. Please do not blame yourself. It’s is important that you give yourself permission to get professional help to talk about how you’re feelings. Also, you are high risk, because of what you have experienced and we want you to know that you are valuable and worthy. We have some resources we can give you to help you if you ever have thoughts of suicide, yourself. We also have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources. Please read this blog about survivors of suicide loss: https://www.thehopeline.com/to-survivors-of-suicide-loss/ continue to see help and resources as you deal with your grief. You can also sign up for an email mentor too. It would be a woman that you can email back and for with for as long as you like. To sign up go to this page: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/

  239. All I do is cause pain, humiliation & embarrassment for others, for myself I cause confusion, because I want to be dead, tho I don’t want to hurt my kids, still I want to be dead, I love my kids yet in their eyes & their mothers I’m always wrong, even with an obvious I’m wrong always, this causes such a horrible pain in my inside I already feel dead, & if I do finally succeed ending my life I’m sure their memories of me won’t change, I’ll still be that dad that no matter how much & how many good things I have done the only thing that will matter is I failed. Yes, I’m a failure, after my ex decided to throw away 21 yrs of marriage & even tho she definitely did her share to aid in this removal of me from our family it still was all pinned on me . Kids knew of her wrong doings yet she was golden & I was shit. I don’t just want to be dead, I need it now, for me & even if it hurts them I need to do it for them also, I’m no good for anyone.

    • Curtis, It’s hard to see it right now. You are grieving your family and a 21 year marriage. You are valuable and worthy! You feel like a failure, but your kids still need you! Don’t give up on yourself or them. Show them how strong you are and stay with us. Don’t miss out on a life that can and will get better. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with a private number to call for help. It is one of our partners. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  240. i m 36 yrs old man. i attend my life’s last exam 4 railway job becouse my all efford hv vanised. but main reason 4 dipration is that some peoples around me they think themself richman they disturbing me.

    • Nitya, Please never give up. You are valuable and worthy! We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. If you email us at thehopeline.team@thehopeline.com we can give you a private number to call for help. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  241. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend 1.5 years ago. He was in deep depression after that. He attempted to commit suicide several times but his family has always been with him, so they prevented it.
    I moved on and have another relationship.
    After few months, my ex was back and begged me to talk to him. I knew that he didn’t believe that I have boyfriend (he lived in Malaysia and I am in Belgium). I knew that he wanted me back. I rejected him again.
    With all drama for 1.5 years, I am so tired, but I knew that it is nobody’s fault. His family did all that they can do to help him but they failed. I ,myself, feel so stressed if I am talking to him because his irrationality drives me crazy.
    I now believe that he is apparently feeling hopeless, helpless. I now fear that he would commit suicide after my rejection today. Can you advise what I should do or suggest his family to do?

    • Ruby, We are sorry you are going through this and commend you for your heart to help your ex and his family. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has a good resource page for helping others that are contemplating Suicide. Perhaps this will help his family: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-someone-else/ You are right, his suicidal thoughts are not your fault nor are they his families fault. Another helpful resource is SAMHSA: https://www.samhsa.gov/

  242. I want to commit suicide how should I do it, if I’m at home.

    • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  243. So I am 55 years old, I had absolutely nothing to show for my life. I have no hope of grandchildren. My parents sister and family disowned me. I have nothing, literally nothing. Everything I own could fit in a dryer. Why not just be done? The people in my life would be better off if I was not here. These are the facts. No hope, no skills, nothing to offer whatsoever. Why stay alive?

    • You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • No mam don’t give up.. I’m 41.. ve suffered from clinical depression for almost 23 years… Things will be ok.. have faith mam

    • I can relate,horrible family,never had a good relationship,or friendship,distinction is all I know,people don’t understand that just saying your important makes you feel better,some depression is from situations that make you have hopelessness.

  244. I can not talk about my life because if I do I feel naked and weak and that is all. Life was tough and I am tougher t have survived more that I could have imagined is possible or perhaps some people are not strong enough to change their circumstances.
    I do not need help I needed some peace and a loving family. Peace and Family and a place to call home.
    The story is too long to painstakingly remember and recall. It is not that difficult to believe that life after death could be much better than the present. Having survived quiet the unthinkable civil wars, invasions, family feuds, early sexual molestation from a member member who passed away and I have not talked about the incident until recently in my mid thirties. I am alive angry and tired of fighting. You need to be heartless and strong willed to be able to live the life you have chosen. Believe me I have done that but regretfully, I came back home because I felt alone and in need of a loving family. Relationships did not last long, and I was unable to relate to others easily. I have inner anger and frustrations. I literally do not wish to live into old age and see myself grow older and frail. I do not wish to be alive when my parents finally pass away and have to attend their funerals. I do not wish to say good bye which i have done so many times. I have traveled extensively as a child right into adulthood. And I am tired of relocating to another land to another culture. I see the world edging into a state of madness where no one is as good as they were at birth.
    I have no trust in people from so many back stabbing. And I am becoming more selfish less resilient and more hateful and some how i fell into a state of racism. I have finally reached the breaking point where I am either going to be a criminal mind or leave in peace into oblivion. I do care how people who knew me will remember me. I know it is strange to think about how I will be remembered long after my departure when I simply do not wish to remember the dead because I am a believer in the present time and a brighter future. I am tired of writing or painting or thinking that I have a better purpose in life. I do not wish to have a memory not really because I will be dead and with no consciousness. I think death is the ultimate peace. But I worry about the possible pain and suffering if I did not transition and some how survive the ordeal of trying to end life.
    I am confused as to what I want or do not want but all I can think of is it is over I am closer to finally let go and have peace of mind knowing those people whom I leave behind my suffer momentarily but in the end they will learn to overcome their pain and maybe do something good with their lives. I honestly do not care but I can not live with my family any longer not possible because I do not want to continue, this cycle of trying to get better and not succeeding, I hate sympathies and compassionate words when I know deep down everyone in this life is onto their own self interests.
    I am tired that the world it seems is fighting me trying to strip me of my humanity. I do not wish to go insane. Nor do I wish to view myself as a weak person. I am tired and this world will never stop revolving and people will not stop living and dying and waging wars and spending time remembering the past. The future is not going to be some where I can live in peace with. I have lost myself many times and have tried to reclaim parts of my identity. I am tired as simple as that. Perhaps I have surrendered instead of fighting to the very end. When will the end be a reality? I wonder if that is all going to be understood. yes right good luck.

    • We understand how hard it’s been for you. Please never give up fighting. You are valuable, worthy and this world needs you to stay here. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  245. I am 59 years old, I have been married for almost 40 years. I have wonderful children. My marriage have been and it is a joke. I do not know why I stayed in this relationships. My husband is a manipulative and dominant person. He is nice to everyone except to me. All these years I have been a good wife, always trying to have a good life together, worked, cooked, but in the end lost myself. My children left, and the reality set in. Yesterday my husband and I went to dinner with some friends, he bully me every time he could. It is a sad situation. My husban became a very unhappy person after his sexual disfunction, trying to blame me for his inability. I could move on with my life, but I do not see anything good anywhere. I can not live this way anymore. I am feel terrible having this thoughts. I would hate to hurt my children.

    • Lilly, It’s important that you talk to someone about how you feel. You do not deserve to be treated the way you’ve been treated in your marriage. Now is the time to take care of yourself and live the life you want to live. Happy and free of the oppression you have experienced. Please do not give up the fight. Keep fighting for you and for your children that love their mother. Never forget that you are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  246. I am just tired of living. No pain. No abuse. No nothing. Just a normal guy who does not to live anymore. I am wealthy. Don’t have money problems. No health problems, no problems at all. I do not drink and don’t to drugs, either. I am alone now as my life partner and me part ways two months ago. It was an 11 years wonderfull relationship. I know this is the reason that is pushing me to suicide. But it is not only that, too. I was happy. Or at least I showed happy to everyone. But I always considered death as an alternative. I am just tired. Don’t want to walk the same path again. Don’t walk to walk any path at all. I just want to stop living. No more food, no water… lying in the bed… letting me go away forever.

    • Noone, Thank you for reaching out to talk about how you are feeling. Your heart is broken and we want you to know we care and we are here to listen. Please know you are valuable and worthy and ending your life is not the answer. It sounds like you are struggling with depression after the breakup with your partner. We commend you for not reaching for alcohol or drugs to numb the depression. It is important that you keep talking about how you’re feeling and a visit to your doctor to discuss how you’re feeling is important. We have a private phone number we can give you to one of our partners to help with these thoughts. We are emailing the number to you, so please check your email for this information. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
      Never give up on yourself or life! You are important!

  247. I always thought people commit suicide for less reason than I have. I have never felt love and I am not lying when I say I come from the worst family imaginable. No abuse or anything, just colder than the north pole. And selfish, words cant describe how selfish they are. I am entirely alone in a world full of people. Nobody visits, nobody calls unless it’s something to do with me parting with money. Unlike some other guy on here, I don’t have the luxury of wealth, I have just about another’s month of money before I am broke. Broken mentally, and broken financially. My only reason to live is my dog, but even that cannot be enough in the end. Everything I do to try and make life just bearable I fail at. I can’t work anymore due to depression. I am at the point I just want to make sure my dog is ok before yet another suicide attempt. This one should be successful as nobody is going to call for medical attention, I am alone. No talking or crap like that will change the dreadful existence I get through every rotten day. I am at the point I have no more life lines!

    • Mark,
      Please never give up! You are valuable and worthy. You have so much in your future that will bring you happiness that you will never know about if you give up. This challenging place in your life seems like it has gone on forever, but it is temporary. It will get better. Mark, are you on Facebook? Dawson McAllister does a live prayer show and a lot of people join that are struggling like you are. It’s a great community that talks to each other and lifts each other up. Here is some more information about Dawson’s Prayer Show. https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/ We have some additional resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this too. We are emailing you a private phone number with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • I hope you’re still here. You have a dog, as do I. My significant other, and our son’s father, completed his suicide in May of this year. We loved him so, but he had no idea. He felt worthless. He was in the construction business, he owned his own company and his work was amazingly beautiful. We still live here and often drive past some of his renovations. My son and I, along with our two dogs,are all we have. Soon after he died, my entire world changed. My family abandoned us. My own childhood was full of turmoil and abuse. You’re not alone. Please stay in touch. You’re more important than you could ever imagine.

  248. I’m almost 40 single and childless. I plan to check out when my parents are gone. That’s the only future I can see for myself. I honestly would’ve done it a long time ago but there has been so much tragedy in our family I just couldn’t do that to my parents. I know they’d blame themselves. It’s not anyone’s problem but my own.
    I’m just embarrassed of my existence, i never fit in anywhere or felt like I’ve belonged. My relationships have all been very painful. I guess I can’t relate well to other people and each time I’ve loved any man they throw it back in my face. You can’t tell me that I’m not unlovable when life has shown me time and time again, over and over that I am. I’m so tired. No matter if I’m on meds or not, even if things are going ok
    In my life it’s still the only future I see for myself.

    • Lisa, Please never give up! As long as you’re still living please know that there is hope for you. There is a future for you. A future that you may not see now that can be full of happiness. We are praying for you and that you see how valuable your life is. God hears your pain and He knows your struggles. We hope you read this and know that we care. Lisa, are you on Facebook? Dawson McAllister does a live prayer show and a lot of people join that are struggling like you are. It’s a great community that talks to each other and lifts each other up. Here is some more information about Dawson’s Prayer Show. https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/ We have some additional resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this too. We are emailing you a private phone number with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • I feel exactly like you

  249. I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and it seems like every single time I get happy something happens and it gets destroyed. I’m 18 years old and I’m a freshman in college and most nights I fall asleep crying and I’m tired of reliving the memories every single time I close my eyes. I admitted myself to the hospital a couple a months ago and I thought I was getting better but I’m not I just have gotten even worse. I’m still in love with my ex who absolutely shattered my heart and she is always on my mind but she has moved on and i cannot bring my heart to and I just feel so alone and pathetic and I just feel like everyone would be so much happier without me. Most days I feel like if I was with my grandfather who was my best friend and the greatest person I have ever met I wouldn’t feel as alone and I might be happier. He passed away 2 years ago and every single day I want to be with him.

    • You deserve someone so much better. You are just 18,the golden age of one’s life.You can become anything you want.Think about your parents,your loved ones… they love you so much and would never want to loose you.It will be new year within a few hours,think of it as a new start and live your life the way it is meant to be. People are living in so much worse conditions than yours, trust me.You have so many attributes ,that you should be proud of.ALL THE VERY BEST!!

    • I bet your grandfather would love nothing more for you to make ppl feel the way he made you feel.
      Your doing better then you think you are.

  250. I cant find a job.
    even if i apply from different companies I always think that I wont be able to do the task they will give to me.
    I’m really stupid i’m not smart at all. I graduated on college because I depend on my classmates.
    It’s hard to reach out.
    I sometime slit my arm so i can distract the feelings I’m having.
    cant make my own decisions and everytime i woke up, I feel like sleeping again. It’s like i’d rather sleep and sometimes dream of good things I’m not going to have in reality than to wake up every morning feeling low.
    slowly succumbing to depression. there’s hope i guess but cant stand the feeling of negativity because of other people like me who already died because of this.

    • Please know that you are valuable and worthy and your life matters. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. Do not succumb to the depression. There is help and resources for you. Would you be open to chatting online with one of our HopeCoaches at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp? If you are having thoughts of suicide we have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  251. I’m having a really hard time thinking that I have any purpose being here. I think about ending my life more than not. I’m 43 and a mother of 5. Been with my husband for 16 years. 4 of my kids are adults and my youngest is 11. I feel alone in a house with so many people in it. I try and explain how I’m feeling all the time but no one seems to care or understand. I have felt this way for a very long time. Every one wants me to be a certain way but don’t care how it effects me. I feel I’m hanging by a thread.

    • There is no purpose in life. It’s all pure randomness and chance. I was poor and abused all my life.
      After graduating no company will hire me for a full-time position, all I get is unpaid internships, so I can’t even work hard to forget about my troubles and attempt to better my life.
      Therefore I am ending my life today on January 11th 2019 at the age of 24 through carbon monoxide poisoning. If my mom reads this message or it is ever relayed to the police, my valuables are in the bedroom closet and I wish them to be distributed to the local Red Cross or soup kitchen.
      Finally I get to leave this hellhole. I will not miss a second of it. 99,9% of my life has been misery and torture. Earth is an awful place and humans are horrible, if there truly is someone who designed this planet and this species, which I doubt, I hope they are feeling awful. They should be.

      • I pray you didn’t go through with this. See you are strong, you see what our world is lacking and it’s lacking people who care. You care, it affects how you feel over all. You are especially needed because there are many like you but it takes a whole nation and you will be one more missing puzzle. We need you to help make a change.

    • You do serve a purpose, even if you think you don’t you do for people than will never even be able to put it in words. Its usually the ones you never think about that you are helping and leading them to live a better life. You are needed

  252. I think it started with the stress this time. At first I told myself I could handle the pressure, I didn’t need anyone or anything. But then I started for fun. Said it’s just a little bit to relax. Then it’s a little bit to give me a good appetite. Then it’s the only way I can stomach more than two bites. After that it’s the only way to sleep because the little pills aren’t helping the insomnia anymore. Now the only times I’m sober is when I wake up and when I’m with family. It’s easier this way, because all the crap that keeps happening actually feels solvable.
    I’ve had a bit of teenage angst. Switched schools a hand full of times. During the high school years I got picked on. Pushed, kicked, shoved, blamed; pick what you will. In the end I was burning cigarettes into my skin because it was the only way I could get their voices out of my head. It never really helped that I was from a rural and religion area considering that I’m a girl and how much I want to be with girls. That secret getting out would destroy my social life as well at put me in counseling to ‘fix me’. God, the people’s so called savior doesn’t bring me relief; I’ve learned that.
    I wasn’t ever real smart. Still aren’t. But now I’ve moved from my over barring parents and started college. Things are good. I’ve started over, I made friends that actually want me. I can tell them the secret that my family isn’t as perfect as it seems. They don’t care that I was an outcast or that I’m not normal. My friends are amazing, they’re my support. They are why I haven’t hung myself up yet. I don’t want to leave them.
    But I’ve screwed up too much. I have to leave again and start over in a new place. Just to think, a few months ago things were so perfect. The thoughts were still there but I had the control. And it collapsed. I was laid off from my job, got an mip, speeding, smoking pot as much as I can whenever I can. It’s the only way I can go back to the start, when things were okay. When I could eat and sleep like a normal person. So I could feel normal. Instead I’m being kicked out of college and my home. I don’t have a choice but to start over.
    I guess I’m just asking if when I start over this time, do I make a new ending? Can only play the same tune for so long before you want to blow your head off.

  253. Hello, I am hopeless, empty, and love a life of shame, and defeat. I am constantly rejected and non verbally abuse. I have failed at everything thing I have tried. I know now that God hates me with every breath. I was told that I am clinically depressed. I’ve been fighting this for years. But it has won the battle that it has sucked the life out me and all I enjoyed doing. I have no more happiness and just don’t care anymore. Suicide is my only option left. I was in counseling but it never help. I took meds but the side effects made me worst. I have come to terms that I really don’t have a purpose or reason to continue existing. Thank you for letting me say this.

    • Eviee, You are worthy and your life matters. Please stay. We understand that the battle with depression is not easy and we don’t want to minimize what you are going through. It is hard, however, there is hope and God loves you just the way you are. He loves every breath you take and every choice you make to stay here. When we are in so much pain, hurt and hate ourselves it’s hard to understand how much God truly loves us. The truth is that God loves you with all his heart. He understands the pain you are feeling. He is there for you. He’ll be your comfort and your strength when you’re depressed and feeling bad about yourself. Don’t be afraid to trust in Him. Eviee, we think you would benefit from having an email mentor that can help you understand how worthy you are and they will also listen to you and help you through the thoughts you are having. Would you take the next step and sign up for an email mentor? To sign up go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/ Please give it a try. Also, if you are on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube, Dawson has a Live Prayer show 4 times a week. How about joining that community of people and let Dawson and them pray for you? Just visit this page for more information: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/ Lastly, we care and we believe in you.

  254. My fiance got married and I found out at my desk at work. My mother whom I bought a house with see me as nothing, an inconvenience preventing her from earning rent. My father left us when we were kids. I was sexually advised for many years. At work they scheme about me. My boss is trying to get me fired with the assistance of the HRM manager.
    I’ve never been loved. I’m only for pain. I want to die. I think all will be well if I don’t exist. I have 3 means planned.
    My son will hurt. But God who loves everyone but me will help him be fine.

    • Dionne, We understand that you feel like the pain will never end. You have gone through much and are still going through it. It’s hard to see the end of the pain however, it will get better. Your life matters and you matter. You are enough and you need to stay. Stay for your son. Stay for those that will love you in the future. Those that you do not even know yet. God knows. He knows your pain. He knows the pain and struggles your son will face if you decide to end your life. Do not pass this legacy on to him. Please have the courage and strength to stay. Your life will get better. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  255. Every day I go to sleep and wake up feeling the same way no matter what I tell myself or how much I motivate others I find I slip away from me even further every day. I don’t know who I am I don’t know if I ever have i don’t know if anyone I love truely understands the deep dark hole I have been stuck in for years. Years of fauls personalities, years of hate, years of just being broken. No matter how much I shake it the only thing I truely know is that I don’t want to be hear anymore my journey through life always ends up in the same place. I have always tried to tell those I love exactly how I feel ! Being gay, black and a woman is so hard I’ve been living a life I know to not be mine for so long. It’s not worth trying anymore the only thing that stops me from ending it all are the lives I will affect when I’m gone. But still I find myself living for everyone who doesn’t accept me for who I am. I’m suphocating and there’s nothing left to keep me afloat. I’m past the point of being scared of it hurting because all I do know, is that it won’t hurt anymore.

    • Chen, When we are in so much pain and we hate ourselves it’s hard to understand how valuable and worthy we truly are. You’ve been living for others who do not accept you for who you are. It’s incredibly hard to overcome the need to please others, however, you are going to have to do this to move forward to a place of healing and accepting yourself. This is the first step. Chen, you are beautiful and you may not realize it, but God does love you and He does accept you. He is close to the broken-hearted. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18” He knows your pain, He knows you are hurting and he loves you, just the way you are. Please stay with us, please try to wake up each morning and tell yourself, “I am beautiful, I am loved, I am worthy.” You are loved by the Lord and He can break your chains of self-hate and you can be free to love yourself just the way you are. We’d like to share this inspiring song with you. https://youtu.be/6UXn_OuJkvE Chen, how about chatting online with one of our HopeCoaches tonight at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  256. Hope has become dirty word. It really doesn’t matter about the quality just that your breathing
    How does that make sense. In the end we choose our problems
    I did try to be a good mother. If that matters at all.

    • “I did try to be a good mother, if that matters at all” has me bawling so hard right now because I know that pain. I know what that means. I am there with you. Maybe under different circumstances but I know what place that sentence comes from. I am just so sorry. I really tried too.

    • I tried too. I failed. I kept trying and trying and just falling further and further. I accept that everyone loses. I don’t want to hurt anyone but it’s not fair I keep losing in life more and more each day. I’m stupid. I’m crazy. Iat least that’s what he says. I can’t even believe my own eyes anymore. Why would I live like this or put others through my living misery.

  257. I also have a severe depression and anxiety. My mother was very abusive to me and used to punch and yell at me the only few times she would help me with my homework. She would also go out until midnight to drink and party and my sad suffered. She pushed me to to with her to Aruba where a friend of hers almost burn my passport and broke my laptop. After her friend broke my laptop we went on a shopping spree with my credit cars to buy the things she deserve and I “did” because that is why I was working. I have so much bed and she made me feel like being gay was just a future of hairdressing and aids. I get panic when I shake people’s hands and I showered in band sanitizer right afterwards. She never had a life for herself and her daily conversations were meaningless and pity. She never did or will do anything so she needs a man to give her money and she brainwashed me that when I worked a real job I had to give her minimum 500 dollars a month. I feel so weak and powerless. I have 4 classes to finish and I feel so weak somedays I don’t even go to get the mail. I have constant anger towards her and the part that hurts the most is that all of my family sees me as a bad person for not talking to her in the past two years. I feel like ending this misery. She also made some very innapropiate comments about my genitals. I just can’t move pass this and everything just seems to be ending.

  258. Lena, I am sorry I read your post so late. I am hoping you did not find it in you to end your life. We all go through trying times but I promise it happens as a way of making us grow into better people. Your life soundds like it has been terrible up to this point, but believe me, you do have the power to make changes in it for the better. Please know that you will be missed by those who do love you. You have the strength in you to reach for the stars. God Bless.

  259. Why are all of these posts unspoken words inside m own head? They just solidify the very opposite of what Hope means.

  260. Hi, I’m not the who is depressed. It is my baby brother who is depressed. I don’t know how to help him and as far as i know there’s not much I can do but to try to be there for him. The only thing with that is he won’t let me help. I don’t want him to feel like he’s a burden. I don’t know how hurt he is. I don’t want to make him feel as if i’m suffocating him. I want to understand him. It ls hard when he doesn’t know how to express it to me not says “i can’t explain it” and I’m trying really hard to see if the cause of his depression is from his childhood years. I feel like it’s the only explanation. My parent split up when we were young and he had always wanted a family. We have 5 brothers who was never there for him when he needed them and he had his first heartbreak with his first love and that broke his heart. What do I do to help him? How do i help him? Can I have my brothers help make his depression better since they are a part of his pain?

    • I care about him. As a matter of fact there’s a lot of people who loves him. It saddens me that this is happening to my brother and i refuse to let his depression get to him but am i too late? He’s a very nice, kind, sweat guy. I really want to understand his reason of depression. I really want to help him.

  261. Unfortunately, most people really don’t understand any of these things. I just got out of a seven-day stay in the hospital for having suicidal thoughts, a plan, and intent, my note written, and rehearsals. My relationship with my best friend was strained because of my depression before my hospitalization (I am 17). I lost two friends to suicide in one week in September, and it acted as a trigger for my own suicidal behavior. The first thing my best friend told me the day I got home was that I am selfish and asking too much of her for wanting her to still be here for me and that I am taking advantage of everyone around me. I don’t know what to believe anymore. I know I’m hurting those around me- that’s the point of dying. I can take that away from everyone. People keep telling me I’m selfish, but then others keep telling me that I shouldn’t listen to the negative comments, and I am really confused. Does anyone have any advice?

    • The same is the problem with me. I have never made anyone happy like that. I do get attached to people very easily but when due to some or the other reason i have to walk away from some people, they blame me for each and everything buti really dont think it is my fault. The idea of suicide is very stupid. No Matter how the people treat you or what they think about you, you should keep living your life. One should have faith in God only. God is the one who created us. How can we people have right to end our lives because of the people and problems around us. Just pray to god for each and everything. He will give u a way. Have faith in god.

  262. Is it cheating if you take your own life

  263. Well I’m planning on killing myself I figured I would let someone know. Not that my life matters one Iota It won’t make a bit of difference if I off my self tonight I should kill myself and why not I’m 31 alone never had a girlfriend never had a job I did just get my license but it’s now too late to try and live life.i just want this to be over my life just keeps getting worse and worse. I’m never going to feel normal or be normal. I should be killed.

    • Michael, Please never give up! Your life matters and it will make a difference. There is so much in your future that will bring you happiness that you will never know about if you give up. This challenging place is temporary. You mentioned getting your license…that is great! It’s not too late to get out there. Take it one day at a time. Try something new each day, go somewhere you’ve never been to before. Challenge yourself every day to live the way you are supposed to live. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are normal. Love yourself and your uniqueness. You have an incredible amount to offer this world that no one else can. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • You don’t know me, obviously, but I saw your writing and I just want to let you know how much pain my son, and I, are in today. We picked up my husband’s urn today and brought it to be interred with his father’s cremains. He commited suicide in May of last year.
      We miss him so much. The pain in our hearts is earth shattering. He believed falsely, that he was a burden, and that no one could love him. If he only knew how much he meant to us. We posted on his Facebook page, pictures of his urn, and his resting place in the ground. There were so many comments, and expressions of love and sympathy from so many people who knew him. He was well liked by so many, he had no t a clue. Please consider the gift of life. You live for no one else but you. If you choose to die, then it becomes about those left behind. We love you, and you deserve to live .

    • Wow! Some pep talk these people are giving you, huh? It’s like they never bothered to read what you wrote. PEOPLE!! HE SAID, “31 AND NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND!” And you sweet, caring people glance over that horrific sentence like it was NOTHING! Shame on you! Sir, I get it. My 20s were a lonely horror show. Sprinkled with the occasional girlfriend relationship that would last 2 or 3 months, then back to the horror show for a few years. What makes it worse is you might go to church looking for comfort- some ray of hope. You might ask a preacher what the Bible says for advice for the rejected man. You know what it says? “Be married.” I know, right? Lot of good that is!!! There is no comfort or advice from the church for the rejected man. I wish I had better news. Scrounge a few dollars and play the lottery. If you don’t have LOOKS, or STATUS, the only thing left that women are interested in is MONEY. I truly wish you well, Brother. I’m living in the same Hell. Only I’m 46 and I’m a janitor.

  264. I can’t remember the last time I have been happy for a sustainable period of time. Was sexually abused in fifth grade and carry the scared with me at 59. Now have job issues . Feel like a complete failure. Nothing interests me anymore. Feel like time is running out.

  265. I am going to commit suicide today. I have been fighting depression almost all of my life. I have had no life at all. Just a lonely unloved existence. People say things change, but never ever have for me. I sometimes wonder if I am just an invisible spirit, and I don’t really exist? Nobody should have to live a life as mine. I have no friends to socialise with. Nobody ever calls me, or visits me. Even my family have no association with me. I have struggled to be strong and get through every day that I have to face. But every day is exactly the same as the previous one, just miserable. I suffer insomnia, so get no relief from my depression. But even so. The only time I feel not to bad is in bed. And I say bed is the next best place to dead! Well as bed is my only escape of hell, I want to make bed indefinite. Now I have immense financial difficulties to top off a life that was already hell. Well I just do not have the energy, or inclination to try to continue any longer. My heart breaks because I am leaving my dog behind. I just pray my family will take care of her. It isn’t like I have done anything to alienating myself from them. They simply just don’t care about me. And so I have finally concluded today is the day. I keep putting it back. But the bills keep coming, and it’s crushed me!

    • Mark, You are valuable and worthy. Never give up! Your life is important…you are important. Fighting depression is not an easy thing to do without help. We want you to know that God loves you. He is close to the broken-hearted. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18” He knows your pain, He knows you are hurting and he loves you, just the way you are. Please stay with us and try. How about chatting online with one of our HopeCoaches tonight at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We also have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    • Waw. You just listed out everything I’m going through. For the past three months suicide has been like the only option.
      My only fear is what happens to me after I die. For sure I know the emotional pain will stop which will be great.
      I’ve prayed and prayed. But it seems God doesn’t hear me.
      Suicide seems to be my only way out.

      • You are valuable and worthy! God is there, Kim. You are not alone. Please stay. Your life matters! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
        Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

        • If ‘God’ is there then why doesn’t he intervene? Pain is the cause of suicide. God can do all things so why doesn’t he stop the pain?

          • Cathy, We hear you and understand your frustration. It’s hard to understand God’s timing. God is very much paying attention. He is on the move – healing and transforming. He can do this. This is what He does. There is nothing too broken that God cannot mend and redeem. Really. Nothing. In our darkest moment, when we are crushed, Jesus is as close as our own breath. Hang on and don’t give up. Continue to fight the fight and never give up. He is with you.

          • Excellent question, Cathy. I’m sure you’ve heard the standard replies and have judged for yourself how rational they sound. But maybe, like me, if you’ve ever voiced your disagreement with others’ feelings or beliefs on the matter, you’ve found yourself dismissed or, worse, censored outright. If so, I wonder how effective you’ve found such responses in getting you to believe what others do.
            Peace to you.

    • Mark, I hear you and your words….they are my words…. I have been where you are even now in this moment and I beg you to do one thing…hang on….I know it is hard but you are stronger than you realize and as painful as it is you can do it….I believe in you …I wish I had more answers but I am still searching for them…just keep telling yourself …”I can do this…I got this”….just keep hanging on Mark….

  266. The things that get old the quickest: preaching about a higher power’s plan and being told to look on the bright side/silver lining/things get better any of that cookie cutter surface friend jargon.
    Life is just tiring. Work hard. Be supportive. Listen. Help others. By the end of it, you’ve earned another day to do it again. Then you earn another day to do it again. Maybe you could work harder, ask for help, speak up. That’ll earn you another day to do it again.
    That isn’t living or as I would describe life. It is a cruel ride and I’m ready to get off now.

  267. Why are people acting shocked that some people would prefer not to be alive than to keep struggling when even the United Nations has declared of the United States’ criminalization of the poor, “cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment” (UN Human Rights Committee, 2014, 2018, 2019)? (Rhetorical) For years now the UN has called out the US for our financial, legislative, and law enforcement predation on the poor and homeless in ways the UN finds violate international standards of human rights the US has agreed to.
    Millions in the US also suffer from rampant age discrimination that even the US government recognizes is widespread and eventually affects growing numbers of us. Still, such is our country’s “justice” that the US Supreme Court recently made it much harder to prove age discrimination in court, despite the documented earlier onset of age discrimination (studies now show it starts as early as the late twenties in many tech disciplines). It’s not coincidental that suicide rates among older individuals continue to rise.
    But it’s not just older people who’re in tremendous pain–emotional, financial, physical. New legislation has made it harder for people of all ages in chronic pain to get drugs that blunt their pain. Even if some physicians don’t believe such drugs are effective in the long-term, this just attests to our inability to manage pain effectively for millions of sufferers. And despite what the UN found–that housing costs over the past few years in the US have risen while average pay has FALLEN–costs of living across the board are up, people are working longer hours with less job security, millions have lost their homes, and chronic loneliness keeps skyrocketing.
    Still, all the anti-suicide pundits have no viable plan to provide the desperate what they REALLY need–effective medical care and pain elimination; safe, secure, affordable housing; meaningful work that supports people’s dignity; enough money or resources so people aren’t terrified of how they’ll survive next month; authentic, edifying companionship for those who’re too old, too unattractive, too poorly networked… to be valuable to the social climbers; worker retraining programs that don’t require the poor to go further in debt to finance academic programs little if any evidence supports the efficacy of; a truly accessible and fair justice system… These are among the stressors that cause many people to consider suicide seriously. Therapy is great for those who find it benefits them, but without addressing the grave social problems that plague millions every single day, all this suicide-is-tragic talk is hollow verbiage. If you can’t take other people’s long-standing, significant pain away and you can’t fix the social system people must live in, you’re not entitled to judge them for seeking to escape conditions even international authorities like the United Nations condemn as rank violations of human rights.
    Many want to commit suicide because their lives are full of pain, therapy is powerless to change many of the causes of their pain, and thanks to the way our society works the odds of continued or worsening suffering for far too many is unacceptably high.

  268. I have thought about my suicide. Only thought… I contemplated jumping off the skyway bridge, taking pills, stabbing myself, crashing my car or just going to the beach to drown myself. Two things stop me. My 4 kids and the fact the before process of it happening. Im scared but I’m tired! I’m tired of feeling like a disappointment and I’m tired of being alone. This thought of suicide is not a thought I want to have and I feel eventually I’ll go through with my plan. I don’t want to hurt my kids they love me but why doesn’t that love feel like it’s enough? It’s not fair to them but I can’t stop my mind from wanting to die. I just lost my best friend and that cuts deeper than anyone can imagine we had a big fight and things went bad and he left me he said being around me was too much and our ship has sailed and what we had is over. That was the knife being pulled from my chest. I feel empty and useless most of all worthless

    • Lele, You are enough! Please stay with us. Your life matters. You are struggling with much and it’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. Your kids want you to stay and we care. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information and a private number you can call for help, so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  269. No one cares, people say they do but it’s just not true. Some people only love you as much as they can use you. You can be there for others and be a shoulder to cry on. Once you’re the one needing help though, they tired and they want you to chang. I tried slitting my wrist last week. But someone stopped me. I feel so hopeless so lonely I feel worthless and unwanted. Why keep going. It’s never going to end

    • If you are alone, truly alone and have tried everything, given it many months, then do what you need to do. Research your method and do not act on impulse. Take your time to be truly sure.

      • Encouraging somebody to do this is a terrible, potentially criminal act. Even though I have suicidal thoughts its things like this that wake me up the real urgency and danger of a suicidal mindset. We cannot allow this kind of thinking to be relayed to the suicidal. Please value a person enough to not diagnose death as an option for them no matter how much you may be suffering.

    • My life has never really had any meaning. I have been through, and have so many issues… I have no hope for the future and wish I could die in my sleep. God is nowhere for me. He never has

  270. Happiness is a fallacy
    Darkness controls all,
    And it seems as though
    It’s the good guys who always fall
    What’s the point?
    Of living this life?
    It is filled with nothing but pain
    Tears, sorrow, and strife
    There are only those who pretend
    To dry your tears and care
    For once the hard times hit
    The room is bare
    Nobody truly cares
    And when I’m gone
    People will go on walking,
    Smiling, and singing their life song
    It may sting for a bit
    It may make some cry
    But they will never really know
    How long I tried
    How long I faked a smile
    How long I prayed
    How long I worked
    And how long I stayed
    It’s painful to see
    Everyone so happy and full of life
    Knowing I have nothing left
    Life is but a sharp knife
    Happiness is a fallacy
    Don’t you see?
    Nope, ok
    Only me.

  271. People suicide because life sucks! Human are unkind – all that “are you okeh??” is all fake! Nobody cares except for themselves – feeding their own ego.
    Can see and feel more kindness on animals reign than humans. You know that animals suicide too, right? Yeah, they feel when they are jailed and “go for escape plan” – smart creatures!
    World is nothing but hypocrites people that “feed” the gross global system / corporations / high occult elite / and abusing governments against themselves. People should realize that they are just NUMBERS for this huge prison ruled by a very cruel entity / machine and we are nothing but slaves in its view.
    Imagine that we all would suicide. Who “they” would “suck” for energy next?
    Life is nothing but a prison. LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A PAINFUL ILLUSION! Suicide is freedom. We are FREE for that. Our lives is our own. We – the people – are to decide what we doing here or the next one if there is any!

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