What is Emotional Abuse?

Due to the backlash of severe emotional abusive and manipulation from my family, to cope, I developed OCD and anorexia when I was 9 that lasted 11 years. I am 22 now. Emotional and verbal abuse is so real. Words hurt. Intentions hurt.

Hi im 13 years old and i have an abusive mother. She will constantly yell at me and my older brother for what my younger siblings do. Just today she threatened to hit us because my little sister made a mess with something that she gave her. And a couple minutes earlier i had even started to clean it, and she said she would take care of it. I also have a physically abusive stepfather who will bring my younger brother upstairs and hit him to the point where i can hear him scream from the floor below. But they always try to make it seem like they are the best parents ever, and try to get us to do stuff with them. I just dont know what to do anymore.

I’m 54 in a couple weeks and still live at home, only because my mother relies on me for so many things. She keeps yelling at me, I can’t do anything right, I’ll never be a good wife or mother, I’m a slut for wearing make-up, etc. She can’t do anything because she wants others to take care of her business, like healthcare, giving her the insulin, cooking for her, going to the store, etc. Her legs are bad, but the doctor tells her to walk, which she doesn’t do. She just wants to be waited on yet yell and degrade the person who waits on her. She treats my father the same way. He’s a reformed alcoholic and I fear he will go back to drinking. But I desperately need to move on with my life. I want my own apartment, my own things, my own life. I don’t want to live someone else’s life, and I can’t get her to understand that. I’m thinking of moving out quietly and having NC. I don’t want to do things that way, but she’s forcing me to.

I am 13 years old, and my mother verbally and emotionally abuses me. She always yells at me for the littlest things, and doesn’t understand me or my needs at all. She insults me, the clothes I wear, and says I can’t hang out with my friend anymore because she is a lesbian. She always calls me stupid and lazy and says I wont get anywhere and she has unrealistic expectations of me which has led me to experience signs of depression. I am debating whether I should get help or not, because college is only 5 years away, and I can just leave then, but things are really bad at home and I just want to end it. For years I endured her insults, but I am learning that I do not deserve to be treated this way, but whenever I confront her about her actions she just turns it around and pins it all on me. Sometimes, my dad tries to help me but then my mom demonizes him and says he has mental issues and says I can’t be around him. I just want him to divorce her but he won’t and I don’t know why.

my father always belittles me and tells me i am worthless. he often says that iam fat and also says that i am a failure because i dont have the perfects grades. he once beat me up because i was not studying for an upcoming test. he tries to take control over my life and tells me what to do and not to do all the time…..i dont know what to do. i am not from america and cant use any of these hotline numbers 🙁

I am so glad you are speaking up and reaching out for help. I am sorry your father is being so unsupportive and mean to you. We care about you. You can chat with a HopeCoach on TheHopeLine anytime. It is private and free. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

I know my mom loves me but she wants me to do exactly what she suggests and sometimes when I don’t, she pours out all of her negative feelings on me. When I try to explain myself to let her understand me better she gets extremely defensive because she believes she is right in literally everything and if I want to live a happy life I should listen and do what she says. Many times when we have arguments she would curse me a horrible daughter or call me a monster. Our most recent conflict hurts me the most. She said I will be the death of her, that all the disrespect and the things I’ve done to her will kill her and when she dies, I am going to be in so much regret and pain and I will realize all that she said was right and true. She said even if I cried tears of blood, she will never come back alive. She said “what goes around comes around” and since I’ve been the most horrible daughter to her, I am going to see the consequences in my life later. She told me she can’t tell anyone what I’ve done to her because she’s afraid they will all hate me. I was shocked and so painfully hurt that I didn’t even have the strength to try and express my feelings to her anymore. Even before when I’ve asked her what I’ve done to her that would make her so angry at me, she won’t tell me why. And so, I have no idea what I am doing to her to make her feel this way towards me when she’s frustrated at me. I thought my mistakes and rare outbursts as a daughter was normal and part of growing and living but she’s making me feel as though every little mistake I make has the potential to kill her.

Hi, I’m 10 and my mom is always hitting and trying to hurt me.. She is always saying how much she hates me and wants me to die. One time she even tried to choke me
.. Idk what to do about this bc every time I try to tell someone about it they say it’s my fault..

Thanks for sharing your story. That is a lot of emotional abuse and crazy thinking you have had to deal with. I am glad you have friends who understand. If you log in to chat on TheHopeLine, https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/, we can help you find some resources that might help. Keep surrounding yourself with a good support system. You are a survivor and can encourage others who may be facing the same struggles.

Hello, I’m almost 18 years old and I live with my mum, auntie and little sister. My parents got divorced last year and I see my dad every Saturday but he’s recently told us that he’s moving to America to be with his new fiancé. When I told my mum about it she said that when he leaves he won’t want me anymore and that he doesn’t care about me or my sister and that really gets me down. I already get depressed a lot and feel hopeless most of the time and my mum is making it worse by constantly complaining at me by saying things like I’ll never have a life. Just this morning I was woken up by her shouting and swearing because she couldn’t find something and she said I hate living here with you lot and it made my little sister cry. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mum and she is a nice person most of the time, but when she gets angry she has no patience and it scares me as she slams doors and often swears. I often feel like I don’t want to live here anymore as I can’t take her moaning at me and all the shouting that goes on. I can’t talk to her about my problems as she always finds something bad to say, for example when I told her how I get depressed she just said why are you depressed? You’ve got no reason to be and I told her that sometimes I feel like killing myself to get away from all the problems and she just said I’m stupid. I’ve had times when I’ve got so down that I’ve self harmed and when my mum found out she called me mental. I lost my friends due to the fact that I was so depressed that I couldn’t talk to anyone, I can’t go out because I have no motivation which caused me to leave college because I was so depressed and I had no support there. My teacher at that college said I wasn’t making enough effort to talk to people when I’ve always been shy and quiet and find it hard to speak to people, it makes me too nervous and he said I’ll never get a job being the way I am. I feel the pressure to be this smart, perfect girl that my mum wanted. I’ve always done well in school but now because I get so depressed that I want to end it all It’s taken over my life and ruining everything and my surroundings aren’t helping. I honestly don’t know what to do when I feel like this. I feel so hopeless and unmotivated but nobody in my house understands. I find it hard to talk to people on the phone, I’m not sure why but it makes me nervous and I try to avoid it but my mum once again doesn’t understand and just thinks I’m lazy and don’t want to do it. Sorry for rambling on, I know there are many people who must be in a much worse situation than me and I hope everyone gets the help they deserve because I know how it feels to be in the dark.

KC, please chat with us online at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/. Our HopeCoaches can help you sort through this. You are not alone. We are here for you 24/7.

I am so glad you contacted us. You definitely should talk to someone about what is going on. Go to an adult in your life whom you trust, like a teacher or school counselor or a pastor. Or you can also call a free private hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453).

My mom calls me names some times hits me and when i come home after a long day of being picked on at school she tells me its my fault. She says that i should go to the gym with her to burn off all that fat i have she calls me a pig and a fatass due to me not being strong enough to pick up a heavy box. Just now she told me to go through my fathers stuff and when i refused she yell at me and called me names. She told me to go up stairs and kill my self

I am so sorry your mom is treating you this way. It does sound like verbal abuse. You can chat with a HOpeCoach to talk about how to deal with your situation and to have someone who will listen and understand. We are here for you 24/7 – chats are free and totally private. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

Yes, we can help you! We have resources we can connect you to, like an email mentor. You have received so many negative messages. You need some positive people in your life to encourage you. Chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/

Hi. I’m 18, I didn’t think that my mom calling me hateful stuff would have meant being abused. But as far as I remember it, when I was about 7, my mother always called me mean stuff, told me I’m the ugliest and the fattest. When I was 15, I was pretty much suicidal, and when she use to barge into my room she use to ask me, “why haven’t you killed yourself already.” Everything I do is wrong, even if I say something she says Im really dumb. Shes always saying that she wishes I died when she gave birth to me. She calls me a slut, but really I haven’t dated anyone koz I wasn’t allowed to nor did I go out koz I wasn’t allowed to. I just want to know how to deal with it. I wasn’t even allowed to get my license because I would apparently “get out of hand.”

Wow, you are receiving verbal abuse from so many different people in your life. Sometimes when we have been disrespected by a parent and even our own children it feels like you can’t climb out of the pit, but you I believe can. We are here to support you. Speaking up about it is a really important first step. Chatting with a HopeCoach can help you move forward in a new and positive path. We are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

what actions should I take if me and my little brother are being verbally and emotionally abused? this has gone on as long as I can remember. I’m 16 and my brother is 12. I’ve lived with it as long as I could and I am tired. I mentally cannot take anymore.

So I am 12. I live with my older brother, who is almost 18, and my mom and dad. I have recently joined new extra curricular activities. In a certain activity, you are required to wear a tie. So my mom comes as usual, late. I have been trying to tie my tie for 45 minutes and she just comes and keeps asking WHAT R U DOING?? Her calls keep getting more abusive( verbally but not swear words) just like a really strong and mean tone.Since no one in the house knows how to tie a tie, she asks my brother to do it(he wasn’t at home). I tell her its to late. I come down and say its not worth it, Ill just go upstairs, and she say violently, ” NO, COME DOWN RIGHT NOW”. She ORDERS me to come with her and I repeat with a more aggressive tone, it’s not worth it. She gets fed up and then goes into the kitchen and says she is not my mother anymore and I am not her son, merely a guest and she keeps on saying bad things. It is not just the tie incident, it happens a lot often nowadays. So I walk upstairs, wondering what to do, and here I am, typing up whatever this is. Can someone please advise me on what to do in this situation?

hey, no one should do that to ANYONE. That is TERRIBLE and you shouldn’t have to go through that, especially at 13. I’m 12 and I have problems too. My refuge is YouTube and I know what you mean.Its like a completly different world where EVERYONE is accepted. I am luckier than you because I go to a country school where weirdness is accepted sort of. But I can be there for you if you want someone similar to talk to.btw I tried to follow you since we are sorta similar but I couldn’t since your account is closed.but I am still here to talk!

In our school we always get our report card on Monday, but then I don’t want to show it to my parents on a Monday because then my week would be ruined. So I usually show it on Friday, but I had to show it today because I had to get it signed. I was freaking out. I go to 2 tutors for Math because I am really bad at it. I go to one tutor for English. I have pretty much always put in tutors my whole entire life.
Well I told my mom I got my report card when she came to pick me up from my tutor. My marks were English=60% Math=66% Business=85% Drama=72%. When my mom saw it she was screaming at me.When we were in the car she said that I was useless, and she was calling me names in our language. Then she said how are you going to University. Then we stopped by Walmart. I didn’t get out of the car, I wanted to get out of the car and run away, I did that and while I was walking I thought about the cons , so I went back to the car. While I was in the car she called my dad and that is when I am terrified. My dad goes to 3 jobs to pay for my tutor and my mom goes to one. I feel really bad for getting bad marks. I always try my best and this is what I got.My parent are always telling me I am going to be in the streets and I will not get a job and become homeless. Them my mom brings up the fact that I am over weight for my age. She starts making fun of me. She soon says that her friends kids dont got to a tutor and they are getting 90s and there gifted and look at what your getting. She than says why are my kids all stupid there all cows and there lazy and never study, why did she deserve this. There is currently 2 hours until my dad gets home and lets see whats gonna happen. My dad is probably gonna do the same. I feel like dying, because I am apparently worthless .

And if you need to talk to someone we are here for you. Chat online anytime 24/7 with a HopeCoach https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

I guess I didn’t understand it at first. My dad seemed to enjoy only having me around to work around the house, and at first I didn’t mind. Then I noticed that my friends didn’t do there dad’s laundry and dishes, or clean the whole house. Then my dad sold our house and my mom, brother and I were homeless, and he left us. When he came back he would have great pride in breaking my things and selling others. And for many years he would make fun of me and say I was fat or ugly. But as I got older I tried to tune him out. We just moved into a new house this year. My mom took over the household Bulls and I help pay them. My dad hasn’t been helping with any of the bills unless he can’t play his games or watch tv. This past week I confronted him on the issue of him not putting gas in my mom’s car, because he took it to ‘work’ and came back with it empty. He does this a lot, and we can alway tell because he says he’s too tired to go to where ever we need to go.
I asked him to leave and he told me he would gut my dog. He uses my dogs against me whenever he has no money or just to “mess with me”. My mom sat there throughout this argument. When it was over, and I asked him to leave our house, he just got up took a shower and played games all day.
My mom did nothing and he seemed happy that I’d cried and told him my feelings about him.
I don’t understand why he treats me this way. I try to make sure he always has food, I use to do his laundry until this past year or so, I respect that he is my dad. But my kid brother is the only one that gets his attention. He buys him anything and everything he wants. He let’s him go to his friends houses, he pays his phone bill, he bought him a phone, he even let’s him stay after school to play sports.
But when I go to my friends house he calls me back to do the dishes, when I ask for toys or movies he tells me he doesn’t have the money, he didnt even go to my graduation.
He curses me out and then apologizes only to do it again when my mom isn’t around. I hide my money now so he won’t steal it out of my room.
But what really gets me is he acts like he cares in public, as soon as we get home he treats me like a slave. He always gets on me about how much I make and that I need to give him money.
I really want to run away. He keeps saying he’ll change but every year it gets worse.

I am 19 years old and live with both parents. My mother was and still is the verbally abusive one. All she does is criticize and try to break me down for everything that isn’t up to her standards. I never felt like i could truly be myself around her, nothing that I ever did impressed her. There were days where she was in a good mood but those days never lasted long. She constantly takes her stress out on my brother and I. I can hardly ever go out on my own or with friends because of their trust issues. I recently got a job to be more independent from my parents and now money seems to be issue in every conflict we have. I try to protect my younger sibling from such abuse but i have to endure the belittling that she does every time. I don’t try to do anything or half try to do things at home because I already know that it won’t matter and she won’t like it. I can’t speak my mind to her, she won’t take a second to listen. I feel hopeless around her. I try to stay my farthest from her and avoid situations/conflicts but it hardly works now. She literally always has something smart to say and i can’t reply back because its considered “rude” Recently joining the military has been in the back of my mind, as I would finally leave this hell and I wouldn’t have to rely on them for anything anymore. I feel lost especially since i really don’t have anyone to rely on.

I’m 17 years old and I’m given everything I could really want, and live in a rich family where my mother brings in the cash from the business she runs, but despite all of this I learned patience and found myself thinking I’d rather live in a smaller house with worse stuff but a more compassionate mother.
I often make a habit of searching back through my life for the last time she made me feel good, and I havent experienced that for what must be at least 3 years.
One thing she’s always been able to make me feel is worthlessness, and I never have been able to feel valuable inside these walls. I’ve saved lives in here and hated myself for it, and I’ve saved lives out there and loved myself for it; but even then these feelings never last longer than it takes to identify them.
The thing is, I can never do anything right for her. The place ever gets messy and I get told I’m a worthless pig, that I’m not even human. There’s a mug left on the worktop and I get told she’s the only person in the house that does any work.
This, combined with all the abuse I’ve had at school, and all of the pathological and mental illness this has caused and I find that the concept of applying to universities further from home is a nice one, but she always makes out like it’ll leave us all in debt, the accommodation fees will sink us.
She has over at least 1.4 million pounds in her bank account, and is considering buying a village to rent out. Were not going to be in debt if I choose to go to uni in america, let alone Birmingham.
But then, my situation might just be the best of all the people I’m friends with.

I’m 14. the first time I thought about killing myself was when I was 10. The dumbest things make my dad so mad. He would insult my sisters and I so much that I was seriously thinking about ending it all. At 10 years old. He only stopped criticizing me for no reason after I got diagnosed with cancer this year, and even then he still hurts me. My Father has been emotionally abusive for as long as I can remember. All he does is belittle my mom and make us all feel as though we’re nothing more than his property. Our living situation(house) is nice, I’m not complaining; I have good in my stomach, clothes on my back, and a roof over my head but a father is meant to be more than just a wallet with legs When I go through a friend’s house I feel jealous and wonder is why my dad can’t be loving and warm. He holds money over my moms head, trapping her in this marriag, even though she’s wanted to leave him some nice my 18 year old sister was 3. She can’t make any money because she works for him and her paycheck basically goes to him. He’s a doctor and usually works away on the weekends and we all feel relieved. Is that how you’re supposed to feel when your dad is away. I miss my mom if she’s gone half a day. And when he comes home we all dread it and count the hours until he leaves again.

I’m 20.Ever since I was a child I never felt that motherly love.She has never told me that she loves me when once.A day doesn’t go by where she doesn’t call me names (I’m heartless,stupid etc)nothing that I do makes her happy.I really do feel like I’m a basturd child.even now she just got from church I stood up and head to her room to ask her how was church she gave me an attitude and responded with no interest and walked out on me.She then started saying horrible things saying I’m a silent killer,I should move out of the house and told my siblings that I’m useless and they shouldn’t be like me.I really can’t take it anymore!!!

I recently turned 15. My mom always makes me feel absolutely worthless. She gets upset that I can’t live up to her academic standards and tells me that I’m not good enough. When she gets mad, she tells me that if she were my ex-boyfriend, she would’ve left me too. She tells me that she’s not mad, but can’t trust me because she’s created a monster. I have cuts on my thighs from every time I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be born. In total, I have 279 scars on both of my thighs. I don’t know if I deserve to feel like this, or if I’m in a verbally abusive situation. I know that she tries so hard to be both the mom and the dad of the family, because my dad left when I was very young. And I also know that I’m flawed, but I do my best to make her and everyone happy. Am I supposed to feel like my world is tumbling down?

You are right – weight does not count as beauty. You are a beautiful and special, always remember that. I am sure what you are going through is difficult and if it makes a difference I am really very sorry. I will pray that things get better for you. And if things go to far, dont be afraid to tell someone.

I’m 16. My mother is almost always screaming at someone. She’s physically abused my sisters on multiple occasions however that hasn’t happened in a long time (I was about 6-7 when the last time happened). Whenever she yells at someone I start having a panic attack, which cause me to either become irritable, violent, or extremely scared for my siblings’ life or well being (and sometimes my own). When I’m having them I either get extremely bold and confront my mother usually trying to be as calm as possible. Most often however my fight or flight response activates and I run away before I can hurt someone. She’s done this today already and she hit my sister. I’m not sure if it was a bad hit or if my sister is blowing it out of proportion. She’s been crying for about 30 minutes now and I don’t know what to do. My Insticts are telling me to run away but I honestly want to Sock my own mother (which sounds bad and I’m not going to). I don’t understand how anyone could could treat another human being the way she does (especially her own children). This sort of thing has been happening for years now and because of it I’ve developed severe long term depression and an anxiety disorder (I also show signs of having bipolar disorder and PTSD) my sisters all show the same symptoms as I and my little brother (who is 9 years old and mentally and physically disabled) shows signs of PTSD. I don’t know if I should call someone like the police or something and I honestly don’t know how much longer I can deal with this before I seriously injure someone or myself. I feel like I should get us out of this situation but I don’t know what will happen. I don’t want us being separated or going into foster care (for some of us a second time). If my mother is not here there won’t be anyone to take care of us (even though she does it poorly but my siblings’ need rides to school). My stepfather is great but he lets stuff like this happen constantly ( he’s the source of financial income in my family soooooo) I honestly don’t know what to do. I go to a counselor however it will be a long time before I go back. I’ll probably tell him but idk what he’ll do. I have a roof over my head and food to eat (even though I refrain from eating as much as I can because I’m overweight and I’ll get yelled at for eating the “wrong” thing). My stepfather is pretty caring and kind but of we ask for something or to do something he’ll put it on my mom who won’t do it. I only ever feel happy at school so summer break is a living he** for me. I feel so uncomfortable anywhere but school; however I strongly dislike most of the people there (and I’ll get really nervous or jittery a few times a day at school). Grades have never been an issue for me. I make almost all A’s every year and I’ve been getting letters and E-mails from colleges for two years now. And I’m excited to move out when I’m older. Thanks for listening (rather reading).

Hi. My name is Hanna and I’m 17 years old. I have depression and anxiety, but my dad thinks I’m over reacting. My dad gets mad and can’t really control what he says. I’m not very confident at all dew to past issues with being bullied, so I’ll wear wigs and things to try and help but.. my dad gets mad because he likes my hair and he starts yelling at me for waisting my money and calling me weird, dumb, pathetic, ect. Then when I tell him later on he said those things, he doesn’t believe me. He’s in a lot of pain because of feet issues, and I feel traded. I don’t know what to do and I’m loosing hope…

I’m 20 years old my mom is always calling me horrible names like stupid and she tells me she wishes I wasn’t born or wishes I died when I was born today she told me that I was the stupidest person she knows in her life and she never ever lets me have any freedom last year was the only time I didn’t care that I betrayed her and didn’t come home til 12 but since I got pregnant I’m 7 months by the way she says I’m mental and she says I need to be put in a hospital and she threatens to tell the doctors things that will have my daughter taken from me she doesn’t like my boyfriend so whatever he does wrong I get the blame and she tells him he’s a deadbeat and a liar … I’ve been mentally abused for 8 years I haven’t been physically since I was 8 to 12 years old I’ve gotten slaps to the face here and there since I was 13 to 20 none recently but I feel scared and unsafe with all the threats I can’t even move out cause she says I’m too stupid and there are medications I need I can’t get those on my own sad to say someone please help me i have no one to talk to at all about anything I lost my friends and I’m just really scared help!!

Im 16, and i’m not really sure if my mum is ’emotionally abusive’ or not, but i know she has been verbally abusive towards me numerous times. The earliest i know is when i was around 5, she used to lock me out of the house at night in the backyard for whatever reason (i can’t remember, i was always the quiet one in the family, perhaps she did so because she couldn’t stand how ‘dumb’ i was) . She did this a lot. As i grew older, she’d just always put her anger on me. One time when i was 12, she started kicking me while i was cleaning the dishes in the kitchen and her reason for it was “it’s your fault your brother left those dishes in his room”, then she locked me out of the apartment past midnight. I was always so confused, and though i still said sorry, i was able to realise that it wasn’t really my fault, obviously. Her reasons didn’t make any sense to me. She only got so mad at me, never really at my two older brothers. Anyways, these things would continue to happen but it was only that one time she kicked me that much. When she gets mad (mostly triggered by her being stressed out/tired) she would insult me and say she wishes i was never born, that i’m just trash, idiotic and useless/valueless and that i should just disappear and die. She’d always have a new thing to say depending on my situation. Like when she found out i cut, whenever she would yell at me, she’d always say something like “oh where are you gonna cut tonight? go cut yourself”. Sometimes when she’s really mad, she’d scratch me, hit me, pull my air, grab my arm, push me against the wall, etc. It’s always very hard for me, because she’s so unpredictable and she can be so nice sometimes.

I’m writing to the young woman named Britney who called in this evening (Sorry if I spelled your name wrong.)
I heard your story about your relationship, & I cried. It sounded so similar to my life. Except I clung to that abusive relationship for over 8 years, 5 years of dating & 3 of marriage, but even after the marriage ended it wasn’t over.
Please get out. I know you’re worried & I know he was nice to you at one point, but that will never happen again. He may try to be sweet & make it up to you so you wont leave but don’t believe for a second he will change permanently… he won’t. He may become more abusive, slowly bringing down your self esteem until you won’t leave, but please get out while you can. My story isn’t easy, but I’ll try to spare you some of the extra details…
My relationship started out like a whirlwind dream. I was young, & had shakey confidence & self esteem due to the relationship I had with my mom & siblings. It was a long standing joke that I was the “ugly daughter”, “no one would want me”, & my siblings favorite “you’re going to be that scary old lady who dies alone in a shack on a hill surrounded by a 100 dogs!”. I just blocked them out & after I turned 16 I moved out to finish my last 2 years of high school as an honor student. I went to college, the first 3 months was nothing but my mom calling me everyday convincing me I was a failure, & I should give up. I tried to OD on medicine, obviously I failed as I am still here, though I was left with permanent heart palpitations.
A few months in to college I met him. He was kind, he was nice, he was proud of me, he wanted to spend time with me. He told me to not listen to my mom. Needless to say my mom was livid that I had a boyfriend (she was the one who insisted I didn’t need to know about puberty or the birds & the bees as I “would have no use for the information”). Thus talk between mom & I sort of dropped off for a while. By the start of my second year of college we were a bit on the rocks. He started shoving me into things then would say it was my fault for slamming into things. He was still nice but he would call me “stupid” or “F*****g dumb” then slap me upside the head. He always said he was kidding & he loved me so i avoided the signs. As a few years passed the “stupid” names changed to more aggressive names & he became more violent, but he convinced me it was my fault as I had done something to bring the issue out or i was clumbsy & it was my fault (as i usually was clumbsy). He started to burn theough his paycheck, eventually tapping into mine. I told him I was leaving, he got all sweet & lovey dovey, & for a short while he changed. After a short time he asked me to marry him… I was was dumb… I said yes because he convinced me he was a changed man, it couldn’t have been further from the truth. I called to tell my parents, to which my mom responded “I’m out on a date with your father. I dont have time for this, you ruined the evening!!” and hung up. (Maybe I should have listened… I couldn’t see the forest for the trees, I was so convinced I didn’t want to die alone I was going to make this work.) We were engaged for a year & a half as I worked 15-18 hour days to save up money, & support both of us & our apartments (he was bad with money so technically they were both mine, just 7 hrs a part). I would work a full 15 hr shift then take off for across the state, & there were times he was angry at me for coming out. A few times I left with bruises on my arms, I was convinced it was because he had a bad day & I should have called. Then 6 months before our wedding he broke some of my fingers, & ripped out a chunk of my hair. I asked his parents for help, as I didn’t know if he was always like this. They said he did have an anger management issue growing up, but they’d talk to him. BIG MISTAKE! He changed only long enough for us to say “I do”. The night we got married, he wouldn’t even dance with me, then he got angry because I was exhausted & didn’t want to have sex with him. But all the stress from the wedding & abuse took it’s toll. Unknowingly I developed bleeding ulcers in my stomach over the last several months, the next day after our wedding I ended up in the ER.
He made sure I paid for that by tripping me & slamming my face into the metal door frame at our apartment when we got home, as it was my fault we had to cancel the honeymoon I paid for. From there it was a lot, A LOT of ups & downs, & many bouts of violence & forced sex. My mom said never call her with marriage problems, because if the relationship ever failed it would be my fault. So I was determined to make it work. I worked harder, sometimes only getting 3-4 hrs of sleep a night, I worked 13 days on, 1 day off. I had to make dinner for him everyday, I had to do his laundry every week, I did the grocery shopping, & bought him everything he asked for to keep him happy. He’d smash his phone, I’d forfeit my day off to work so we (I) could afford to buy him a new one. One day I forgot to make him dinner, though I did thaw out meat for him in the refrigerator. That night I came home, & no sooner did I take my shoes off & stand up that he knocked me out for the first time. He left me on the floor, I was only woken up as my coworkers had swung by to pick me up as I didn’t show up at the main office that morning. So i painted on some foundation, grabbed some sunglasses & went out the door. I was beat again the next night for no dinner. I made sure to make dinner everyday, even if it meant I had to go hungry, I never forgot dinner. Except the day I miscarried, I couldn’t leave the bathroom. He wouldn’t take me to the hospital across the street, & I couldn’t walk, so I had to stay in the bathroom. He yelled as I was hogging the bathroom & I was a worthless b**** as I couldn’t even stay pregnant. I was beat frequently after that, but thought it was my fault for being a failure as a human. I stayed for another year and a half. But I decided I was done when I came home one night & he knocked me out after he found out I had a secret savings account for in case one of us got sick or hurt. I still have the scar tissue on the side of my skull, & from time to time my hearing fades in & out from the damage, I also had temporary nerve damage to my face. I found out he was cheating with an old girlfriend who moved near by with her husband & 3 kids. I decided to move us closer to my dad. I convinced him that this new job I found would give us sooo much more money, & he would want for nothing. We moved, & suddenly he was nice as my dad would check on me every day. I grew more confident, I began having friends again, I rescued a dog, I was smiling & happy, he hated it. We (I) bought a house, & forced him to move out of the apartment & away from the mistress I was being forced to support. He found out I lied about the money I would make from the new job, & hit me, but also began beating the dog as my dad questioned him about the bruise. Things started falling apart fast as I sent the dog to my folks for a while, & I threatened about divorce as I felt confident with my dad watching out for me. Suddenly he was nice, until we had todo counseling to prove that the divorce was or wasnt needed. He became so violent at the counseling session, they nearly called security & advised for an immediate divorce. So I filed, we had to share custody of the dog 1 months with me 1 month with him, I voiced my concerns but they said we had to try for a bit. He never got a second month, as he nearly starved the dog to death. She was nothing but bruises & bones, & nearly bald. The court ruled in my favor, the house, the dog, & my things I had bought were mine. He had to bw given a deadline to move, eventually packed up & move in with his dad 2 hrs away. It didn’t stop there. That’s when the harassment & threats began. For 2 months I lived in fear with him randomly showing up to my house, breaking in once, sending death threats, & harassing calls at all hours, stalking…. i finally gathered enough evidence to get the police involved, then it finally stopped.
I was free.
I cried, I was depressed, I was lonely, I was abusive to myself as that is all I knew to show myself love. The road out of the darkness is never easy.
I had to learn to love myself. I joke that I became a Phoenix, because just as a Phoenix rises from the embers in the ashes, I too found new life from the ashes of what was left of me. I dyed my hair for the first time, I peirced my ears, I went on a road trip to visit my girl friend from high school & her husband & kids.
Eventually I found good love, it is beautiful. I often feel I don’t deserve a love like this, as I still feel dirty & unworthy from time to time, but he gently sweeps these thoughts away with his loving words & kind actions. We are both damaged by our pasts, but we have found healing & strength, then we found each other. Neither of us want anything more than the other to be happy & be confident.
Please. Don’t stay with him. He is a user, use upeverything until there’s nothing left. Users abuse & destroy those who are happy or have something the user hates that they have.
Love yourself, appreciate your self worth. You are worthy of good love & a beautiful relationship! Even if the person you are meant for isn’t there right now, you are meant for someone else who loves you & is waiting to treat you right. You have to learn to love yourself first, you can’t find good love until you do & know that you don’t need anyone to to grant you happiness. You hold the key to your own happiness, you’re in charge of the wheel.
Don’t let this guy weight you down. He’ll only be like a concrete block tied around your waist as you’re struggling to swim. Your getting so worn down dealing with him & hoping to see him change, he won’t. If you just cut him loose you’ll realize you can float just fine without the struggling to stay above water.
You’re amazing! You’re strong! You are beautiful inside & out, no matter what anyone says! You deserve someone who will be devoted to only you! You just have to let go of that darkness that is trying to keep you tied to him, & trying to suck the life out of you. You deserve so much more than what he will ever promise to give you. I guarentee it.
If there is only one thing you take from this 29 yr old woman taking to you, please take this.
It is your life, you only get one ride. Is this the way you want to spend your one ride? Is this the way you want to feel for the rest of your life? No one knows when their ride will stop, & their number is called. Dont waste what precious time you are given with someone who makes you feel this way. Please walk away, don’t follow this path.
Do this for you, please… I’m begging you. I don’t know you, but I’m sending all the love & hope I can to you. Hopefully you’ll have the strength to walk, run, or crawl out of this relationship before it’s too late.

im a 12 yr old girl, im not sure if my dad has been abusive to me or something like that, but ill tell you anyways. i always do my homework, school work, assignments etc. and my dad always screams at me and calls me dumb and stupid just because i didnt understand a question. once i came back from school and when he came home he calls me fat and stupid that no body loves me and i started crying. i told him to stop, he says “do you think im dumb like you” and keeps hitting me. today i did my homework and he says “try harder” and he hits me and screams at me. he always think i chat to this girl he really hates and he always talks bad stuff about her and shes my close friend, i tell him stop nicely and he comes out of no where and hits me, even he hits me on my head very hard. once i came to the bathroom to get ready for bed and he tried to chock me. i didnt do anything, and i always get my grades good. i just dont understand. once i wanted to call the police, he trucked stuff at me and brange me to the room with no lights on, he starts hitting me with a belt and my body always gets big black scars or brusies cause of him. once my bestfriend came to my house and he really hates her. he tells me to do school work WHILE SHE WAS IN MY HOUSE. i said ill do it if she goes home, my dad drags me and pulls my hair and she heard everything. i seriously need help, you have no idea how bad i cry everyday, i have to stick to school, but even if i do that, he thinks his a better person to go and hit me for no reason. he tried to chock me once, i always think of the bad things he done to me. i told no one about this, i cry myself to sleep, his been doing this for 7 years. my dad always tells me to move rudely and he pushes me to the floor. my sister sometimes sleeps after school because she gets tired of sports, my dad screams at her to get up and when she doesnt, he pulls her hair, hits her with a belt, and then he comes to my room and hits me for no reason, and i am honest. i need a serious help and have no one to talk too, he does this everyday. and once he brings my sister and me and hits our head at the same time, im just 12, he does this everytime

That is a really difficult family life. I admire your care and concern for your little sister. It is good that you have each other. Please chat with a HopeCoach and perhaps we can help you come up with solutions for how to handle your parents. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

On xmas of my 10th year in life, my mom just started. I don’t know why. It came out of nowhere. She became mentally and verbally abusive. My health has gone down, due to the stress, and she yells at me every hour or so, but whenever I read that there was someone who cared for me, I knew there was t, because no one understands me. No one can be trusted. They don’t know how I cry myself to sleep every night, or how my mom pushed away her her own mother. I don’t want to do that. I’m scared. And I’m so alone. So alone. I am determined to live with my mom until I don’t have to, but she has already said that she’ll be the first to move away to Europe away from me. I’m currently 13, and I’m alone. I know that there’s someone out there for me. Whoever you are, you, (as my dream), are probably the only thing that has kept me from all insanity, drugs and suicide and has just kept me looking happy on the outside. I’d like to thank you, and when I meet you, I’ll say it in person, because I KNOW your out there, and I’m not giving up until I find you….. Find me.

This is terribly abusive for both you and your precious child. Please chat with a HopeCoach on thehopeline. We can connect you with resources and help you think through ideas for getting you and your child out of this horrible situation. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

I have a feeling my friend is being verbally abused by her mom but I haven’t talked to her about it yet and I’m really concerned about her health. A couple of moments before I wrote this her mom told me (keep in mind I was skypeing my friend from school for the first time over Skype) that I was the reason that her daughter was failing school and that her daughter is grounded, she has been grounded for about 3 years from her phone, and I know that she has done nothing to deserve the punishment. But I just don’t know what to do to help her? I would ask her if she wanted help to get out of there but knowing her she would just say” I’m fine ” and just continue with the torment. Even though she talks about how she gets in trouble everyday for something she did not do.

Please don’t give up. You have a whole life ahead of you. Can you talk to a teacher or guidance counselor at school? You can chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We are here for you.

Hi there, my name is Lissa.
My father passed away about 3 years ago, and since that day, my moms whole demeanor has changed.
She is becoming more verbally, and sometimes physically abusive.
Often, she will outrage at small things I do, for example, not hanging up my choir dress.
She begins to yell at me, and tell me she wants me out of her life. After deep thinking, I came to the conclusion, of suicide. My mom said, if she ever found out I cut (which I didn’t) or was having suicidal thoughts, that she would send me away to a mental institution .
I’m home-schooled, and have to deal with this everyday.
Its getting old, and I don’t want to do it anymore. Everything is a fight with her. Only if she knew how I felt.
Throughout the day, it will be nice, we will be laughing at each other and playing funny game, and then.. she changes.
Here is another example, my mom loves to impress her boyfriend, so she blow dries her hair.
Her brush was sitting in the car, cause I couldn’t find (my) the brush at the moment.
We were laughing just 20 minutes before.
Then, she begins to yell at me to fetch her brush for her.
She walks downstairs, grabs the brush and begins screaming in my face about how much she hates me, and cant wait till I’m out of the house.
She begins to hit me with the brush, and after hitting me, she hits the wall, scratching it.
I cry silently as she walks up stairs.
I go through this a lot, I don’t want to anymore.
I’m sick of putting up with this, its stressful, it stressing me out. In school/ and out of school.
Its causing me to outrage at people I love. I feel more violent, and defensive.
This isn’t a normal feeling.
Once, she was helping me work on homework. We got into a argument about which work sheet we were suppose to work on.
I got so feed up, I told her she wasn’t thinking.
Bad mistake Lys.
She came over and began pulling my hair, and slapped me across the face, once she let go of my hair, I just laid there. She began to kick me.
She has kicked me so hard she gave me a bruise on the side of my ribs. I couldn’t believe it…
No, not my mom..
She often calls me names, such as stupid, worthless, dumb, and finally, my least favorite, a failure.
Please, if you have any advice on how to help me. please let me know.
Also, please do not mention talking to her, that’s a lost case.
Thank you
Sincerely, Lys.

but he cant possibly be abusing me this way right? im sure its just the stress and thats why he yells at me and ignores me all the time

Lys, my heart breaks for what you are going through with your mom. Not only do you grieve the loss of your dad, but you are being verbally and physically abused by your mom. Is there anyone you trust, like maybe your choir director? You really need to talk to someone and we are here for you 24/7. Please click the “chat now” button to get to a HopeCoach.

I’m 13 and in the 8th grade and a “gifted and talented” student on the honor roll. Ever since I was 9, my mom has something played favorites. My youngest, yet older, sister nicole and I seem that we got yelled at the most by far of the five of us. It got so bad for her that she joined the army just to get away from her. That happened when I was twelve by the way. When i was around 10 or 11, she was getting yelled at for some stupid reason and I agreed with my sister. My mom then alienated both of us for a good week or two. Within the last three weeks, we have had to pay for a second rental house as it is vacant. In this time frame, my mom snaps easier than a dead twig. On Thursday, on the way to school, she said hi as she opened the car door. I responded “hi.” She proceeded to climb into the drivers seat and say hi again. I responded again nonetheless. She then started to yell at me for not answering her. About halfway to school, she told me that she hoped that my child wouldn’t be as disrespectful to me as i was to her. As not to be sharply scolded again for not answering, I answered ok in the most toneless way, so there wouldn’t be an”attitude” issue. Then she turned and looked at me, told me that I had a horrible attitude and then deliberately called me nicole, as as to make sure that I was just like her. Once my school was within sight, she pulled over because I was extremely confused on why I was getting punished, and she came within inches from not letting me go to an after-school club that i wanted to go to to avoid her at home. I have never won an argument with her, because when I bring up valid points, I become grounded for arguing with her. I have felt depressed lately because of how often this happens nowadays, and what good relationships my friends have with their moms, and how mine is very poor. I feel that my dad tries to compensate, because he seems to try to communicate with me and nicole than my other sisters. I am very internally confused. This all feels like my fault. It seems that she always acts out of anger when something is negative towards me. It seems that I’m mostly punished for something happening or not happening, but being quite the contrary. I feel bad saying all this. Am I just overreacting?

Hello, I’m someone who would like to stay anonymous but I’m wondering if my situation is a situation to actually be worried about.
My mom always treats me with disrespect and like i’m her little puppet. She’s called me a trash can while I was at school, and threatened to stomp on me. I’ve tried so many times to get her to stop, even saying I was going to kill myself if she didn’t stop. She never did, and only said “she hopes i never do it. if i do even try, i’ll be in trouble.”
She threatened to stomp on me when I was tieing my shoe, and slapped me across the face to the point where my head fully turns. I’ve locked myself in a closet where she couldn’t find me when she was being mean to me and she eventually found me and dragged me out by the arm, making a few marks. She makes me the bad guy every time, saying how she has to clean the house, do laundry, and run baths for my sisters while she makes me feel like i’m the one sabotaging her life. She lies to me, and says things that no parent should ever say to their child, and treats the rest of my family with love except for me. She tries to use me to get money in the future, by saying i should become an attorney and then following it up with saying “you know, if you become an attorney, we could all be rich, and live in a big house..” and she tries to deny what i say. I don’t want to become an attorney, but she strongly insists each time. also, she tries to act nice around other people but she is a horrid monster when she’s at home. She’s always cussing and yelling at me, and always saying i’m doing something wrong or i have a lazy ass. She tries to make excuses by buying me all this stuff and tries to say, “look how much you have! you think we don’t love you?”
My self-esteem is very damaged b/c if her and I feel down all the time around her. I’m scared of her in a way, she tosses me around like a toy.
One day, i got in trouble at school and i was crying and telling my teacher that my mom was going to say mean things about me when i got home and how i want to kill myself just to get out and away from her, and then she sent me to the school counselor and the school counselor called my mom and said i was doing it for attention, and i got in more trouble.
That’s only the few things she’s done to me. i’m just don’t know what to do.

My name is Juan my father has been verbal abusive my whole life. He is a control freak pretty much anything sets him off one time when I was 13 we wrecked the kitchen out of rage near my mom scared he was gonna kill her. I and my sister’s have dealt with this all our lives he got arrested for outburst clearly jail didn’t help. I get anxiety ever time he calls me names and yells.

First off it’s not only my mom it’s my siblings too. I don’t remember the last time I woke up in a quiet way. My brothers 18 and11 are always screaming on the top of their lungs and cussing at each other every morning and that’s basically how I wake up and also my little brother talks to me like he’s an adult he’s always telling me to go to my room EX. He always is in the living room and I asked to use the tv and he screamed at me and Said ” shut up I hate you go to your room now” and if I tell my mom about these things she just says to leave him alone or if I tell her the boys won’t stop arguing she yells at me and tells me to stop and that she’s about to get in her care and drive away and never turn back or that she hates us and wishes we were never born. And Ik I can be rude sometimes but who isn’t but most of the time it’s because my mom is in the wrong she has a closet full of clothes with tags on them and I only have 2 jackets to keep me warm and when I leave for school it’s like almost 40 degrees . And she also never disciplines my brothers ever so they just keep getting worse and she leaves the house so I have to stay here and hear them argue the whole time and I’m just so physically and emotionally exhausted and I just want to be away from all of it so bad

I am 10 years old. I am abused emotionally and verbally by my dad. Like this: My mom got a sleep helper thing…. And I said I really needed it because I have trouble falling asleep. I told her I stay up till 9:30 or 10:00 trying to fall asleep. My dad told me that is because I read, and I said I didn’t. In the background, he said, “Yeah, right.” I go through this every day. I used to talk a TON, but I feel as if I talk less and less. I have become very depressed and cry in my room. I stay there all day unless I HAVE to go out. I often think about hurting or killing myself. Just knowing there are others who have to share my pain makes me want to do it even more. The only place that is really home to me is my school, and even there I do not feel good because I get made fun of by the boys, and I feel out of place. I have been driven to the brink of insanity and am slowly breaking, piece by piece. Please…. I can’t take this anymore.

My names is Natalia and im 15 . Ive been in physical but mostly verbal abuse . My mom left me and my brother with our dad when we were little but then came back . My dad lives in colombia . I live here in florida . My dad when i was little only hit me a lil but just because of discipline. He never verbaly abused me . Well when i moved with my mom . I used to cry myself to sleep at times. At age 7,8 i would be called stupid and puta . Something 7 and 8 year olds wouldnt want to hear. My mom didnt know english so i helped her out alot . But as soon as i made a mistake she would call me out pn it and lecture me and then talk bad about my dad . She was nice at times but there were always word said that would just burst me in tears . as i started growing i grew stronger and better . The physical abuse started . Around 11 i rember the time i cracked my brothers phone my mom pulled my hair to the bed and started hitting me .That day i cried and cried it was a horrible day . When i made a promise to not cry again infront of her . I feel as if she takes advantage of my weakness.im 15 now but she stays on my case. I joined sports so i dont have to be home . When i am home i try to do hw and just ignore my mom and go to sleep . I pay bills xfinity and the water and light bill online cuz my mom said to. I bearly have time for anything anymore . Chores hw sports bills and mom . Im in a early colledge program in which i leave highschool with my associates degree . My child hood hasnt been the best but theres ppl that have gone thru worse so i wont feel sprry for myself .i feel so alone . And it just tears me up writing this

Is there a way I can email you?… I feel like my parents are abusive but there’s that voice inside of me telling me I’m wrong for feeling that way. Especially with my mom, I feel like I “over exaggerate” when I talk about her and that I don’t have the right to claim she’s abusive. There’s a lot of grey areas with both my parents because they can be really great people and they can be really loving towards me. If they’re loving, how can they be emotionally abusive? Can they be both? I have a lot to say about my situation and I don’t think there’s room to post it all here, so do you have an email where I can talk about this with someone? Thank you.

Hi. I have a question. Is it abusive if you let it happen? I am a young adult (but currently impoverished because some health problems caused me to have to stop work for a while. I am better now but I don’t have any income. I also don’t even know if what I am experiencing is abuse:
– My Dad is an amazing father most of the time. (I need to stress this. I am from a pretty loving family.
– When I told my Dad I wanted to visit my mom (they divorced more than ten years ago and I haven’t spoken to her in five years) again he said “if she made me mentally ill she would “just disappear.” (He said it in a very threatening way implying that he would kill my mom if I ended up depressed again.) (I have depression – it runs in the family but he blames my mom for it.)
– My Dad threatened to hurt me before. (To be fair I was having a really bad mental illness episode so he thought threatening to hurt me would stop it.) He implied that I would either be killed or injured and that “no one would ever find you.” Later my step mom made him apologize for threatening to kill me. He said he was sorry but I am still worried about it.
– My Dad is nice most of the time. Sometimes he yells at me for making bad career choices and said I am “wasting my life” (because I was temporarily disabled by my mental illnesses but I’m getting back to work and better now.)
– He compared me to my mom because I was self-harming and he called me “attention-seeking and stupid.” (I stopped self-harming because I got help for that.)
But I don’t know if this is an issue because:
– I’m an adult. I am over 18 so it’s not like I’m really vulnerable.
– I let it happen. (If he yells or threatens me I just cry and sit quietly until it’s over.) I’m the unassertive idiot who won’t stand up for myself.
– I have pretty severe mental illness so I could just be over-thinking things.
– I could just leave. (But I am afraid he wouldn’t let me see my siblings if I did.)
– He only does this to me. (My other siblings seem happy and are safe.) I’m not sure if that’s just because I’m a loser and haven’t accomplished much or if I’m just imagining all of this and if my mental illness is blowing this out of proportion. BECAUSE 99% OF THE TIME OUR RELATIONSHIP IS GREAT!
Can I have someone’s input on this please? Also, if I don’t respond please don’t be offended. My parents used to go into my email and social media accounts. (They don’t know about this account and I changed all my passwords but just in case I don’t want to piss anyone in my family off.)
Thank you.

Hello my name is Hayden and I think I’m being emotionally abused. I have a mother and a step-father. I have a good life with a comfortable home. But the only problem is on my emotional side. I feel like my parents are always yelling at me and insulting me with words such as stupid or idiot. It hurts a lot more than I think they realize. My mother is constantly making me feel like a terrible son whenever I want to go hang out with friends or my girlfriend. Lately I have felt angry and sad more and more frequently. I’m only 16 so I can’t just escape them whenever things get too intense. I just feel like whenever I do chores I can’t do anything right, it’s so hard. I just need help on this because at this point I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to commit suicide because I know my friends would be devastated. I’ve tried talking about it to my parents but it always ends up as a fight on who is the person causing problems.

I’m so sorry for all the pain you must feel inside. I understand exactly what you’re going through. I went through the same exact thing when I was a child.
Please know that there is hope. I am a college educated, professional with 15 years experience in my field, and a mother now at 36 years old. I put myself through school – no financial support from ANYONE.
There are days when things are still very hard for me. And there are lingering affects from the abuse that I see a therapist to help me with every week. BUT! I am well adjusted and in control of my life now. I can take care of myself and my son independently of others. I am in a long term, happy relationship and just recently moved in with my boyfriend. I’m telling you this so you know that just because life is very hard right now, that doesn’t mean it will stay that way forever. You will become an adult and you will get free of that madness.
If you have an adult in your life that you can trust I suggest talking to them about what is happening at home. Your mom is physically abusing you and could go to jail for doing so. You need help from an adult to make sure you don’t become a ward of the state if you decide to call the police. Talk to someone you trust who can help you make a plan to get yourself to safety. If you must stay with your mom, please remember that this will not last forever, you will grow up and become less dependent on her and when you do, you will be a lot stronger than many other people and that can help you be successful in life.
You can do it! You WILL do it! Everything is going to be ok. I know that because I had the same experiences as you and I am more than ok.

I live with my mom and I have never had one day since I was 5 go by that my mom didn’t get angry or upset because I tried running away or I said the wrong thing. If I said sorry she would say i was a piece of crap and I would end up a hooked on the side of the road and I would never be loved. If I started to cry she would hit me to the point where there was a bruise. When she started to do that to my brother I stepped in and took all the hits. It was horrible.

My mum has been so weird over the past 2 years. She always has something negative to say to me like one day out of the blue she said ‘you think you’re so much better than everyone’ and so obviously I was like ‘what on earth?’ She then went on to say that I’m selfish and disrespectful all because I said to her I dont like it when she smokes in the house because I don’t think it’s right we’ve all got to inhale those toxic chemicals without choice. Yesterday she went for a nap after an argument we had and she came downstairs and said to me ‘I just had a dream about you being in a car crash’ that’s all she said then she left the room. But she’s like a broken record stuck on repeat she always says I’m selfish and always says I’m disrespectful even though, when my parents broke up I sold all my stuff just to pay rent (tablet/computer/PlayStation/bike) when my other siblings left to live with my dad and abandoned her. Or she always says ‘I’m sick of you you’re pathetic’ I don’t even have to do anything most of the time. In the past actually not that long ago she’s hit my older sister and physically threw her out of the house. She gets in my face, but because I’m calm and collected it annoys her more and I literally say ‘don’t you dare hit me or else I’ll make sure Dad finds out’ he would go obsolutely ape if he knew. To people reading this it probably doesn’t sound bad but on a daily basis it grind on me so much I relapsed after 3 years clean from self harm because of all the stress or she has been making fun out of my anxiety she says things like ‘you have problems just going to the shop that’s pathetic’ what mother says that?

My mother physically, emotionally and verbally abuses me. I know from the outside it looks like I’m perfectly normal and fine. I hide it well don’t I? I grew up relying solely on other people’s normalities and standards. Sometimes I don’t even think I’m a real person. Hiding your problems don’t get you anywhere. You end up digging a hole until you’ve dug so deep you can’t get out. You feel so trapped, so useless, so scared that you end up hurting yourself in more ways then one. You begin to believe everything people say or you don’t even listen in the first place. Don’t do what I did. You end up so lonely. So very lonely. You can’t trust people, embarrassment turns into anxiety and you end up wasting your life. I could’ve done so many things that right now aren’t options to me. The truth hurts. The bruises on my body, to the bleeding in my soul, go get some help before you become me.

my grandma said ” you probably have cancer in you rear end because how much you sit on it” and i said “if you want me to get up i guess i’ll live outside for the day i’m here” and then i went out and like 20 min later she said “you better get in here” then we argued and the she said ‘i’ll just have to call the cops” then i went in. then we argued a little bit more and i yelled really loud and she came up to hit me then my dog max came and jumped at her and took a chunk out of her finger and she kicked him, yes kicked him and he has a disease in his hip where she kicked him so it may have broke his rib. so i threatened to call the police for domestic abuse and she said “i’ll give you 50 dollars to because you’ll get taken to child services” and the we argued more and then she tried to call my dad then i’ll get yelled at by my step dad whose married to my mom and he throws things when he gets mad and yells at me in my face and one day he tried to whip me and i wrestled around and he was trowing me around and i got cuts all over me. so please help me.

Is there any way if to check if I’m being emotionally abused or not? I’m scared that I’m just a teenager being a moody teenager to my parents, but I need to know for sure. Everything I’ve read are worse than what I’ve experienced (I think, there’s some I believe I don’t remember). I’ve once snapped at my mother and told her she was emotionally abusing me and immediately, I started feeling intensely guilty, like I’m just an angsty teen or something. I still do now. If anyone knows any good tests for abuse that’s more subtle I guess, can you please give me a link? I’m not gonna share anything here, because I feel undeserving and I don’t feel like sharing everything yet. Thank you

The reason I’m on this website is because I want to know if my mum is verbaly abusive towards me because I honestly don’t know. Can someone please help and tell me if what she’s doing is wrong because I can’t live with her anymore
-she yells at me about everything. If I don’t do a chore she will scream and yell in my face how I do nothing around the house to help her
-about 3 months ago she asked me to make the dinner so I decided to make pumpkin soup, something I’d never made before and my nana had just taught me the day before so I made it but when she walked into the kitchen she started screaming at me saying how I was doing it wrong. I said to her that she needed to teach me how to do it properly and not yell everything I make a mistake causing her to contribute yelling at me about how I shouldn’t speak back
-she constantly compares my brother to me
-she always says how we (me and my 3 siblings) don’t alreaiate anything she does and that she is our slave (we all do our fair share around the house)
– she turns everything on me when we are fighting and she insists she is always right
-most nights I go to sleep crying because of how much swearing and yelling she throws at me everyday
Someone please help to let me know if this is abuse or just an angry lady. I’ve read a few of the comments on here and I’m so sorry that anyone has to go through with anything this bad and I understand what I’m going through I definitely not as bad but if you could please just tell me if she’s a bad person than I would deeply apresiate it. I’m a 13 year old girl, child of 4 and my mum and dad are divorced so sometimes it’s quite hard for a parent I understand but she always throws all of her problems on me Because out of my siblings I’m the most mature (my oldest brother is 15, my little brother is 12 and my little sister is 9) I don’t think it’s healthy for my siblings to be growing up in an invierment where yelling, swearing , blaming and crying is a normal every day activity. My dad won’t listen to me when I tell him she’s controlling and hurts me a lot mentally so I’m starting to worry about my wellbeing. I’m sorry this was so long but I really need answers
-kind regards a young girl who wants to know if she needs to give her mum and intervention on how to not mess up her children

My mum has been emotionally abusive since I was around 9. She has her good days- she’s nice and sweet and seems to actually care about me. But her bad days are awful. She knows how to tear someone down. When I was TEN she cussed me out over not fitting into a pair of jeans. She then pushed me into her car and hit me twice the second I was inside. When I was in third grade, she almost forced me to walk to school because I overslept.
I’m 13 now. She’s called me quite a lot of things, yells all the time for the stupidest reasons, and when she’s angry, she’s angry. She has given me the silent treatment before. It hurts so badly because my dad- I know he loves me, but he’s never stood up for me and taken my side on things I know I’m right on. I tried talking to her(over three times) but she blames me and never lets herself take the blame. Because of her I’m suicidal, depressed,self-harming and anorexic. I have no place to go right now- my neighbor’s don’t really like me all that much, she took my phone, and I try to spend as much time as I can in my room. Recently, she forced me to keep my door open- EVEN when I’m changing- all the time. I attempted suicide back in May by an overdose but I’m still here.
I hate being at home. I don’t know what to do- I’m not legal, I don’t have a car, and I can’t skip grades(I’m not smart enough). I’ve tried to stay with a friend, but she got very angry and forced me to stay home.
If anyone has any advice, get back to me please.
xx Mer

I really don’t know how to feel about my situation. I am constantly being yelled at by my parents, especially my dad, and my parents often ignore or don’t respond to what I say. My mom has said horrible unthinkable things to my sisters but she is trying to get better but I don’t think that ignoring your child is the way to go. My parents are very passive-aggressive and I keep feeling I’m getting put down by them. I will occasionally talk to them about how I would like to be a professional soccer player when I’m older but they often say things like ‘you should be playing competitive by now’ and ‘you need to work harder’ or ‘You aren’t good enough’. They criticize my constantly about how I’m doing in school. They start out by trying to be nice by end up yelling in my face. Every time I try to bring this up to them they always say ‘Stop being so dramatic’. I try to stay strong when they yell at me but I’m always sent away to my room or downstairs to the basement in tears. They restrict me from seeing my friends as well. I am only allowed to see them at school and my dad sends them away when they try to come to my house. They took away my phone and banned me from checking out books from the library so that I have nothing to do except for homework or staring at the wall because that’s all I can do without feeling I’m doing something wrong. I have never been quite sure if what they are doing to me is verbal or any kind of abuse. Is it?? Also, people always tell me to turn my situation into something great but how can I??

My mom used to be helpful, supportive, & kind. But she has always had problems with dealing with her emotions & taking care of herself. Lately she has been very stressed & has begun telling me every morning on the way to school that I am going to get her fired & that I am ruining my family’s lives. She tells me that her job is on my shoulders. Then she says I can’t tell anyone about this. I’ve tried talking to her about it but she just ends up saying well if you don’t feel safe go live somewhere else. I’m not quite sure what else I can do. I’ve tried to be supportive but her cycle of things she says just continues. She’ll say that I’m ruining her life & then 5 minutes later act like nothing is wrong & deny she ever said anything. Feeling a little lost on what to do.

Hi, my name is Lealani and Im 20 years old.
I have been going through physical and verbal/emotional abuse practically since I was in the 3rd grade. My dad has always treated me like I was nothing ever since my little brother came into the picture. He has always said I would never be as good as my brother and that he “is the good child” and that I am the bad one. My dad would blame me for things that I dont do and when I would tell him I wasn’t the one or I didn’t do anything he would get more mad at me thinking I was lying and he would portray physical abuse upon me. Hitting me with the belt, the hanger and even throwing things at me. When I got into my teen years while In high school everything just got much worse… He started to control my life. When I wanted to join a club or a sport, I was limited with what I could do. I only could go to practice certain days because my dad said “I had to be home”. I missed so many games and ended up having to quit the teams I played on because of him. I never got to do anything that I was passionate about. When I would disobey him when I wanted to actually have a “Life” he would break my belongings. He would cut my shoes with the scissors, he would my clothes. If he didn’t lay a hand on me, he would turn to breaking my belongings. Everything that went missing in the house or got damaged or broken, I was the one to blame ALWAYS. No matter how many times I would tell him I dont do anything, he doesn’t believe me and he just gets more mad and results into the physical abuse or verbal abuse. When I got to my senior year of high school, that was the worst year for me. He puttee down so much during that time, telling me that college won’t be for me and that I will probably not get a job and that im a worthless nobody. My mom would try to help but al they ever do is argue so she stop defending me and just kept her nose out of it. When I graduated high school, my dad thought that just because I was 18 already, that he could just kick me out, and he did not care if I didn’t have a place to go and if I was sleeping in the streets. I was lucky during that time when I got kicked out that my boyfriend at the time, took me in and gave me a place to stay. Me and that guy broke up and now I am back home. Im 20 years old now and Im still dealing with the same things. Except that he doesn’t physically abuse me anymore. he verbally/emotionally abuses me now. He blames me for everything that goes on in the house and its taking a toll on me. He tells me there is no sense that I go to college because I am a nobody and that I will never make it far in my life. He calls me a bad child, that im evil and that im satan. he likes to call me ugly and fat and bring down my self esteem. I want to move out but I can’t because I have no money and because I am just 20 years old. He likes to threaten me that he will call the police to remove me out of the house if I dont follow his rules or if I supposedly keep misplacing things in the house or supposedly breaking things in the house. This is just bringing me down. I dont know what to do because I have been dealing with this since I was in the third grade and honestly maybe my situation through writing may not seem all bad but I put it as, if you were in my position you probably would have committed suicide. My mom likes to put it as “God gave you hard life and putting you through all these obstacles to make you a stronger person in life”. I like to just use that as a reference to my life and everything that I do but sometimes it doesn’t help. im trying to be a strong person…

My mom is amazing. She’ll do stuff for me, buy all of us stuff, she’s funny. She has her good moments but other moments are horrible. She just called me a spoiled b… and a whole lot of other names because I wanted to do something for spring break. She said I couldn’t do anything because she can’t. And said I had to stay at home like her. She’s practically never home. She’s doing stuff and taking care of her father. 6 months already and we have two more toddlers in the house (from my druggie sister.) There’s so much yelling and I swear it doesn’t feel like home anymore. It’s a living hell. I have a phone, a computer, and five dogs to keep me entertained each day. My motivation and energy has turned into this laziness. It’s hard to talk to my parents about anything because they both crap talk me. I don’t know but I’m done and I’m under the age of eighteen so I can’t drive anywhere and I can’t actually do something. They won’t let me cross the street and my dad’s out of state currently and my moms never home so I can’t ask for permission. This is a jail. Literally. I want to live on my own already

I have been physically and mentally abused all my life, even as a baby. When I was just born my mom moved away from my abusive father with me and we lived with my grandma. My mom would tell me how she and my grandma would beat me with thier hands when i was just 2. When we moved I was then 6 and i can remeber always getting beat with a belt with silver spikes for small incidents. When i was younger i didnt know any better, so i would always think it was my fault. All my life my mom has been threating to break my bones or give me away, she has also called me every name you can think of. Now I’m 13 and she constantly puts me down and yells at me for small stuff like not doing my laundry. One time i brought a lighter upstairs and my mom whipped me with a thick tv cord. Later that week, i snuck out and went to my boyfriends house and told his parents about my situation at home and they called the police. I went to the station with the bruises still bloodshot on my leg and showed the police (I live in Georgia Btw). They called my mom and she picked me up and told the officer I was smoking pot. A couple of months after that, I had a friend over and was disrespectful according to my mom. After my friend left later that day, I went to take a nap and my mom came into my room yelling because she lost her tape and she took my phone. I calmy asked her why she took my phone and she constantly ignored me until i annoyed her to the point of her getting up and puntching me and slapping me on the face. I dont trust anyone because if the legal system doesnt even help me, who will?

I had just got a boyfriend and things started getting better I was able to start moving ahead to get out of my mom’s house we got a car he got me a phone he how to phone and and and then he went to jail I I I don I was living in my mom’s house I have been for 4 years I have a key to my room which they probably already broken my stuff they’re selling on let-go I don’t know what to do cuz they started a fight with me outside our home at the gas station and I have bruises all over my arms from my little sister and her boyfriend and my mom I walked away from the problem and and now here say that I’m not allowed back there. I am the one who has a no trespassing order and they stole my stole my my phone thank God I have my boyfriend’s phone they stole my car key I was working on getting my license I had tickets I had to get paid and now I can’t even go and look at them because I don’t want to go back home because they’re all going to be tag-teaming me I don’t know what to do they always do this kind of stuff to me I am alone I I have no more friends my mom always calling me retarded and laughing at me if I don’t get something right I can barely hitch a ride it’s like when I start to get up I always get kicked back down I have nothing ever and I never will I’m in Problem Child She says and if she can’t have her happiness and I can’t have mine someone please tell me if I can even go home are they going to do it to me again or what are they doing to me is it me because I have no job I have food stamps even when the food stamps are for me and my son they still eat it until there’s nothing left and then I can get out that I don’t do nothing to help I clean I make sure the house looks nice she sleeps in her bed all the time my grandma died last year she helped take care of me my whole life except the past few years my mom has gave me place to stay but when I try to get on my feet she gets mad and then I start losing my clothes are my keys or my phone and then I don’t have anything and I have to ask her for help and then she doesn’t want to help me because she’s already helping me with a place to go what to do

i don’t know if i’m just a brat or not, but recently my mother tried to choke me because i was getting into an argument with her boyfriend. the argument started because he constantly was telling her to do something she would have never though of doing in the first place (not going to go into disclosure…). anyways, i was yelling at him and i was telling him to get out while he was just sitting there watching t.v.,on my moms t.v., smirking; thinking that he owned the place, that what i said doesn’t matter. eventually, i went into the kitchen and my mom followed me in and started yelling at me. she got into my face and gave me these eyes that looked like she wanted to kill me. she dragged me to the wall and started to choke me. she told me that i can’t disrespect anyone, especially people who she “cares” about (her boyfriend). when she slammed me to the wall and was choking me, i started to cry and i was genuinely afraid of her at that moment of time. i literally pissed my pants. (fact: i live with my grandparents in a small apartment) my grandmother walked in (my grandfather didn’t cause he was out drinking– as always) and she inserted herself into the whole thing. i mean, who can blame her? oh and my mom’s boyfriend was still on the couch watching t.v. at this time. eventually my mom and grandmother told me to go to bed but i couldn’t move. i was so afraid that i was as still and frozen as a sculpture. the thing that i do when things like this happen (it happens often) are that i try to act touch, even though i’m weak and try to fight through it when i know that i shouldn’t. that i shouldn’t have a say in anything and that i should just sit still and be quiet, but i just can’t! i’m stupid. i am ashamed. looking back on this, and every other time that i’ve been hit or been called names, i shiver and feel so hollow and empty. cold. my mother calls me a spoiled brat, says that i’m ungrateful and that i’m selfish. i don’t know if i really am. when i tell my dad all of the things that happen here (they are divorced), he says that she is using these tac-tics to make myself feel like i’m the one who should be blamed, but i don’t really know if i shouldn’t be anymore? i just don’t know what to do.

I have had trouble with my brother and sister believing that I was in 2 domestic abuse, covert verbally abusive relationships that took me down to nearly losing my soul. I saw a letter my brother wrote in an email to a relative which described me in terribly untrue terms like he thought I was being dramatic and trying to get attention and having a victim mentality and bad at choosing men and penniless because of it and a bad mother, him thinking that my mother mostly raised my kids and I didn’t give her and my dad credit. I realized my brother totally missed out on my life and my incredible survival skills and I had come through homelessness joblessness and awful ptsd. Every time I try to clue my brother into his cluelessness, he says I’m blaming or bringing up the past too much and I just need to forget about it and then he sticks his partner on me in an email just to berate and verbally abuse me in the worst terms I’ve ever had. Then my ptsd fires up which he doesn’t get, and the cycle repeats. The last time I refused to open my brother’s partners email and I shut off all email contact. Ruminated on what to do, then sent a letter that said to always believe domestic violence in my case and that I would no longer let him into my social communications but would talk only briefly when he comes to visit and never with his partner. My sister does the same thing, has her husband tell me I’m the abuser and if I don’t agree they verbally abuse me in emails. I can’t win in my family. I’ve been scapegoated by a mom who did the same thing. I’m trying to step out of the scapegoat role and have barely any contact. 12 years of this since domestic violence with a religious abuser narcissist. Still I’m so rational I want to tell them how wrong they are, to no avail. It’s like I’m a devil cardboard figure to them. Did they miss my entire life? Shocked I am to say the least to hear how little my brother regards me.

What is it called when u been verbally emotionally schychologically abused

I’m going to be 22. I’ve pretty much tried leaving by keeping a job but I’m always laid off or let go because of my adhd and lack of attention (I took meds for it but stopped because I have no insurance to pay for it). My parents are no help either. They did the same treatment to my sister as they did to me who ended up in a manipulative marriage. I sometimes cannot speak to them because they interpret my speaking as “talking back” or “raising my voice” which I do end up raising my voice because I want my mom to hear me over her loud screaming. They never take me seriously. My mom sounds like she is roaring when she yells and curses at me, belittles me and tells me to leave the house. But when I try to leave she gets my dad to block the doors off. He’s much stronger than me too. They respond with “you have nowhere to go” and keep extra tabs on me. I have lost many friends because my parents at a point never let me go out, but now that I can (even though I have a curfew) they call 911 if I’m not home at a certain time. When I was little my dad used to throw and drag me across the floor if my grades were low. I’ve never really thought of this as abuse but now that I think of it, its messing with my wellbeing and I’m sure I’m being manipulated

Everyone says I wish I had your mom. I’m like no you don’t in my mind. My mom always tells me I never do enough.she says what do yo do in the house and I say everything. I say you aren’t doing anything and she said that’s because no “I’m the mother and your the child” . I do everything in the house like dishes, laundry(all my parents clothes) , trash, picking up dog poo and it’s not even my dog. She calls me fat, lazy, dumb,stupid, she also told me years ago a guy will never want a messy person like you and a bunch more. I brought it up to her about calling me that and she said that was yesterday get over it. I said it’s not the point. On top of that I have my grandma who that. She tells me to lose weight. Why are you this size here and that size their. Maybe cut back on what your eating. My family caused my self harm. I hate to say it. Even people that bully me. I don’t see my self with anyone because I have no confidence to talk to anyone. I’m almost 18 and still have a year left of school. I’m battling depression and anxiety alone. My friends know I have it but only they think I have bad days. They don’t know I self harm. I’m afraid no to tell my parents my dad will tell me it’s just in your head. I’m losing my self. I can’t talk to anyone because of everything. I have suicidal thoughts. Thinking it would be better if I was gone. Im pushing through this for my sister that passed away. Sorry for a long rant I needed to get off my chest

My father, first verbally abused his mom, and wife and tried to do it to me, his daughter. Left me pushing all guys away with my toughness as my father only respected tough. You say in the article… “Constantly telling someone he or she is “no good,” “worthless,” “bad,” or “a mistake” My father never said any of those phases so I feel you are missing the other criticism. I think you missed the other judgments and sarcastic jokes. My father love to respond to the women in his life as weird, idiotic, dumb, that stupid… or I went to a training program for inner peace by a very famous person, sound like a Cult, he says. …. but yet he really believes he is being loving. He has told me to everything I loved, that won’t work, that will get you nowhere. He put down ever ath I wanted because it wasn’t economics or business. Any idea different from his is S#$t he says. He belittles his wife, to boost himself up. And publically too! My mother has stood up for herself in the last ten years, saying, Never talk to me that way again” But it will last two days at most, they were married young and “50 years” later he has not learned. Ok well, not I am on the other side of the country and my mother feels isolated in their large house. My father values , Money, work and other men who work. He does value women is they are making huge incomes on their own. My mother called today to ask me to fly out there, and take her to a divorce attorney. She needs to walk or die as she said she has never felt scene, understood, respected in all they years they were together. My fathers brother was soft , light hearted, easy to talk to into french art… just a great guy. My father the middle child always had a rough bullying streek his sister says, but she says what can you do. You can’t change people and he is set in his ways. He does value family oddly, but is the boaster, bragger of the family. People find it comical or amusing for a short while. He is a pillar of intensity, he thinks the louder he gets the more he will be heard. Only right way is his way, he lives in a small bubble. Anyways this is serious abuse as joking and laughing as he is. We try to tell him stop yelling, and he will scream, I don’t yell!! He really is clueless. He does talk about how he loves mom, and he believes that. Ok, I visit 5 days a year and that’s enough for me. Hope my mother gets through her seperation smoothly.