“Falling in love” is what drives the romances we read about or watch in our favorite shows and movies. But what does it really mean to fall in love with someone? Falling in love happens when you have strong feelings of admiration and attraction to someone you care about. It is easy, when you are new to a relationship, or new to these feelings, to see the best about a person easily. You probably prioritize the time you spend together, and share lots of time, gifts, and affection with them. Falling in love is often a joy, and it can be part of what points you toward the person that’s right for you. But it’s important not to rely on strong feelings of attachment alone when making decisions about dating and marriage. You want to be sure, if you feel like you’re falling in love with someone, that you share compatible beliefs about life, about priorities, and about spiritual things. You want to commit to someone only if they are respectful of you, your needs, and your boundaries. And if you feel “out of love”, it may not be a sign of the end of your relationship. Depending on your reasons for falling out of love, you may be able to rekindle warm feelings by getting support and talking through your relationship.
Friendships are one of life’s greatest joys. Finding someone we can share our heart with — someone who understands and accepts us just the way we are is priceless. When we can have a deep friendship with someone from the opposite sex, it is a tremendous gift. There is so much to learn and respect about both genders. But at times these opposite-sex friendships can also be a great challenge. One of the most exciting, but frightening, barriers a friendship faces is when one person falls in love with their best friend of the opposite sex. The feelings are can be intense, and the fear of revealing them can be paralyzing.
You’ve probably heard the popular saying: “Marry your best friend.” Why then is it so darn stressful to figure out whether or not to date your best friend? On one hand, the prospect of a romantic relationship with someone you already share a deep bond with can seem like a dream come true. But… What if it doesn’t work out? It’s an idea with its fair share of risks and challenges that should be carefully considered.
Dating your best friend could mean that you’d be starting your romantic relationship ahead of the game, with a foundation of trust and understanding that already exists. You know each other’s quirks, preferences, and values, which can lead to a pretty seamless transition from bestie to BF or GF. That kind of familiarity can create a strong emotional connection, since you’re not starting from scratch in getting to know each other.
What’s the catch? The fear of ruining a cherished friendship. You won’t just lose a partner if things go wrong, you might lose or irreparably damage the friendship. Two heartbreaks in one go.
Dating a friend could also change the dynamics in your social circle. It could be tons of fun for your friend group when you get together, but if you break up, mutual friends might feel awkward or forced to pick sides. Instead of losing one friend in the breakup, it’s possible that you could lose several, or that your friend group will never feel quite the same way.
All that said, there’s a difference between being cautious and wise about such a big decision, and letting your fear make your choices for you. Consider this question: what if it does work out? Does the potential of finding a deeper love with a person you already know and trust outweigh the potential for heartbreak? Will you be okay with your decision, years from now, if you let fear keep you from taking a chance on something that could be beautiful? Check out this reminder to be brave from Joshua 1:9.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
We’re not meant to let fear dictate our decisions. Dating your best friend can be worth the risk if your bond is strong and you’re both committed to making it work. The transition from friendship to romance requires careful consideration and open communication. Of course there are potential pitfalls, but the reward of finding love with someone who knows you deeply can be a beautiful and fulfilling experience.
Laura reveals the gut-wrenching challenges she’s facing being secretly in love with her best guy friend: It’s been really hard because sometimes it seems like he likes me and sometimes it seems very obvious that we’re just friends. It’s torn my heart up on several occasions. I’m currently trying to get over him, because it’s just too hard to love him from a distance. I don’t want to lose our friendship as we’ve been through a lot together in the years we’ve known each other, but I’d rather save my heart for someone who I know is going to give me his heart fully in return.
It’s okay to have feelings of love because of the trust you share with your best friend, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are in love. But it does mean you have the ingredients to develop awesome love which could turn into a great marriage. Someone once said great friends make great lovers. The longer you’re friends, the more stable your relationship is going to be.
A lot of good friends can do things that romantic partners cannot. Friends usually say what they need to say to each other without fear, and good friends are more likely to be spontaneous with their activities.
When you start to feel you desire more than just a casual friendship with your best friend and you’re not sure what to do next, let me offer you some advice that could strengthen both your relationship and your love for each other.
First, don’t rush into a romantic relationship with your best friend. Many times, people confuse love with that other kind of caring love you feel for all of your other friends.
Second, don’t spill your guts right away. You might feel like you have to share all your thoughts and feelings with the other person as soon as you start to feel something. That’s usually a mistake.
Javier agrees: This girl and I have known each other for nearly seven years and we have been close friends for about three. Eventually, we did start liking each other and we went out for a month and a few weeks. After that relationship ended, I didn’t feel very hurt or sad. It was odd. I found myself being freer and I got to thinking: Don’t rush into [a romantic] relationship with your best friend…many times people confuse love with that other kind of caring love you feel for all of your [other] friends.
Find another good friend you can trust—someone with whom you can verbalize your deep emotions about your best friend with whom you are in love. This other friend will help you continue to show the self-control of letting a good friendship grow into an even deeper friendship. Hold your emotions and get them out in a healthy way with another friend. Why chance ruining a good thing, at least for now?
On the other hand, after you’ve been a good friend with him/her for some time, you should be able to read their moods. You should be able to get some sense as to whether or not the friendship has developed into more of a romance for him/her, as well as yourself. If you see these signs, you might want to begin to talk about them with the good friend you so deeply love. After all, good friends should be able to talk about nearly anything.
I think Jane has a great perspective: The only time I would recommend someone reveal their feelings is if they are SURE it is mutual. A really honest friendship will often develop into love without any conscious effort. And if he doesn’t love you, isn’t having a REAL, HONEST, CARING guy friend better than a boyfriend who might leave you at any moment? Friends are people who you don’t have to constantly worry about leaving you for no reason. And if he cares for you and stands up for you, he already loves you in a way already.
First and foremost, good friends should know how much each person values the other. We make the mistake of demanding that many of our relationships be all or nothing romantically. Whether the person you are in love with ends up marrying you or not, you have had the joy of experiencing real love.
Real love is rich, pure, and self-sacrificing. To experience that kind of love with anyone is a priceless gift.
This is how the Bible describes true love: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Isn’t that awesome? This verse also describes how God loves YOU! Trust God as He shows you whether your best friend will become your life’s partner. You may want to pray to God for guidance in this relationship and even have others pray for you.
Still wondering if it’s really love or friendship? Read: How to Know if it’s Really Love.
Viola says:
I think you shouldnt hold yourself when you are falling in love with your own best friend. He/she might feel the same way but afraid to tell you in the first place.
I am in this position right now, after 17years (!) of really good friendship. He is my bestfriend in life. We’ve known each other’s family since University. Many sleep overs and camping, yet I did not have any feelings for him. He once did try to flirt when we were in University but I have always told him and considered him as a brother.
Years went by, we both are geographically apart, yet still taking time to give news and update each other. Recently he came to visit and we spent great time as usual. That is when I realise that now love starts to grow inside me.
Nothing is eternal, things evolve with time, we all grow, love grows over time. Life is short. Tell your bestfriend if you do fall in love with them. Dont play games nor wait to see if it is mutual. If he/she is your real bestfriend, irregardless how they feel about you, you should not worry nor have doubt! he/she will always be there as your friend or lover. Trust me.
Diana says:
But you know there’s always this fear of losing your friendship… And when you’re a girl you will want your guy friend to be the one to confess first…in my case I am completely in love…but I don’t know about him…he keeps telling me that he can’t imagine life without me…and we just had a conversation concerning this in which both of us admitted that we were ready to stay single for each other cause my bf or his gf won’t let us talk…and none of us have ever been in a relationship before so I’m a bit confused… I have no idea what I should do…and I really don’t want it to continue this way till we get married and get settled…seriously?! Something needs to happen!!
felix devlin says:
arrgghhh!!!! why is this so hard …..
Berwin Tan says:
If both of you are willing to stay single for each other then just get together already! It’s obvious that he loves you just as much as you love him. Argh I am so jealous!!
Yoyo says:
I totally understand you I am in the Same situation my self we’ve been friends for 23 years and I am in a relationship right now and he comes back in my life and decided to tell me 10 years later
Arvie Jay Jocson says:
My bestfriend said she love me,but she fears of loosing me..she fears that f we broke up one day,things will b different..& which is im not the type of guy when it comes to her..thats why even with a 13yrs of sharing life with her & her family still we never moved forward to another stage..
Im going crazy thinking what to tell her or what to do to show her that loosing me will never happen..
-can someone give me advices on what to do..???
jade_ love says:
Tell her how u feel and tell her there is no way she will ever loss you no matter what
Margie says:
I realized I was bisexual a few months ago, and the first person I told was a friend of mine who I knew was very LGBT friendly, and she took it fine. What I didn’t tell her was that it was (partly) feelings for her that made me realize my sexuality. She’s been dating a guy for 2 months now, and identifies as straight. For a long time, she was the only person I felt like I truly related to, I could talk to her about deep and thoughtful things that other friends would brush off or laugh at. Now, I avoid talking to her about serious things, because if our conversation becomes too deep or emotional I am afraid I’ll say or do something stupid. It’s not so much that I am pining for her, it’s more that I have lost a great friendship and someone to talk to because of my feelings and it is very, very isolating.
Jess says:
I’d really like some advice on this topic. I’m in that place, where I have a friend I’ve known for six years, and a year into our friendship, I started to have feelings for him. But he has feelings for someone else, and has on and off all these years. He says he will never go out with me. It’s heart wrenching because my feelings for him have not changed but instead developed into something stronger… However despite people’s warnings I value our friendship too much to abandon him for my own good. We’ve been through so much together and he still wants me in his life. He’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had. But these feelings have caused me so much depression and anxiety, I don’t know where to turn. Even prayer hasn’t helped.
Jahnavi Singh says:
You’ve been in love with him for 5 years?
Thats a pretty long time.
That kind of attachment is extremely rare.
You’ve been friends with him for 6 years.
Why wak out now?
You’re stronger than that.
Just be open to meeting new people.
It will get better.
Maybe not today, tomorrow, or next month,
But it will.
I dont know abt advice, but I really hope you meet someone who makes you happy. Really happy.
viknes says:
I am also in that situation… I have a boy best friend who i knows 9 years including this years. i have a strong feeling on him but i didn’t tell him. I was really scare and nervous. I try to tell him but i really can’t. I also think that he don’t have such a feeling on me. How can solve this situation?
green says:
I feel your pain. I am in love with mybest friend of 8 years and he married someone else. He only knew her from talking over the phone for several months and two weeks of dating because they are both from India. We were once more than friends but he decided he did not like me as more…yet we shared a bed for over half of this time. We just cuddled but for me that was enough. When he suddenly told me he was engaged it came with no warning amd I almost killed myself. I tried to run away from him but he would not let me go. He says he loves me more but it is not sexual. I have no desire to ever meet anyone else. I live for the moments and scraps of time he pays attention to me. My heart revolves around him. I will suffer for the rest of this life in pain. I will never love again. Unrequited love is hell on Earth.
Sol says:
Rather than assume the kind of love you feel for this person, could never exist with anyone else, I think you should continue making new friends, and using your intuition as to how much to share with each. And when it’s clear that you and someone else have a special kind of bond… to tentatively see where that leads. For there are others who are more like you, that you haven’t met yet… and you do not want to leave your possible soulmate never having known you at all.
Risk, so that you may gain!
Emily says:
I am in a similar situation. I started to have really strong feelings for my best friend and after awhile I just straight told him how I felt. he did not feel the same way but I honestly think we are better friends now. we have a very honest relationship and we both want nothing but the best for eachother. as for getting past those feelings. just trust God because he has a perfect plan and he has someone out there for you. pray for your future husband because one day someone will love you and you will love them more than you ever thought one could love.
Sol says:
Knowing what your BFF will say, will be the truth — as they see it — is so refreshing, isn’t it? Too much of friendships, and particularly dating, include clouding certain aspects of ourselves, while highlighting others, in an attempt to make them feel a certain way. But I believe that BFF’s will always find a way to integrate a new truth about the other, making the bond stronger, even if they don’t feel exactly the same way, because each values the other so much, they would rather do ANYTHING to avoid losing them.
anonnnnnnnnnn says:
See the thing is i cant see a future with anyone else apart from my bff. I could have been in multiple relationships but i know all of them would have been fake my heart is set on one person and i know that deep down itll always be set on her. Whenever she hugs me i feel uplifted, there is no where else id rather be than wrapped in her arms.
Seyi Oshin says:
Now after 2 years what advice would you give a guy that is the position you were?
jade_ love says:
OK so i love my best friend and he said he loves me but he has been on and off about his feeling like he said that he is confused about if he should date this girl Madison or me and I said you no ily and I would what for u as long as I can he said if we date that I have to promise I would still be there for him I said of course but the bad thing is I feel like oove him more than anyone in the world but he is my sisters ex bf what should I do
Avy Fabros says:
There’s this guy that I really like, who’s not really part of our circle of friends. Days after I confessed my feelings to my friends, he suddenly became part of our circle. I don’t want to push him away, because I know how painful that is. we became really close, to the point that he knows even my darkest secrets. And one day I found myself longing for his presence, wanting to him to comfort me, and not caring whether he returns my feelings or not.
I don’t actually know if its love, but whatever I’m feeling I don’t actually want to confess because that would ruin our friendship.
Bhargavi Kaushik says:
I am in love with my best friend really very deeply. I like him since the day we met. I did not have the courage to confess him as he already liked someone. I talked to a very close mutual friend of ours about it. She asked me to confess everything to him. I did but he is afraid that somewhere our friendship will get affected but did not respond about what he feels for me. It has been 3/4 days since I told him about it and he appreciates it. Even after trying I just cannot get over my feelings. I’m helpless. I just somehow want him to be there forever. I want to grow old with him! 😩
pradeep gowda says:
If ur really a best friend to him/her then no matter what you can never have a romantic feel…………….
Jahnavi Singh says:
hahahaha no.
Falling in love with your best friend, if reciprocated, is the best kind of love there is.
phoebe says:
true LOL
Billo says:
hmmm -_-
Lauren says:
This article isn’t very good it has a lot of flaws first off no you should never be friends with someone your in love with its not a good idea and yeah I have had to do that I mean the friend will only hurt you if they talk about the person they have a crush on or are dating so really cutting the ties is best in that situation
newlife1011 says:
I have known this girl for a couple of months. We now talk to each other every night on the phone for at least an hour or more. We also text quite a bit too. I have given her an hour back massage and ran my fingers up and down her arm and she said that felt good. We have a lot in common but also have some differences which is fine. I feel we are becoming really good friends. Now tonight she tells me that she only wants to be friends. I have developed strong feelings for her and want to date her. She tells me that she doesn’t want to date me and only wants to be friends. I am really hurt on this as before we were getting to know each other better and now she says this. I really feel we are meant to be more than friends. I know I can’t make her love me or anything and even said lets not have any labels (dating, friends, etc.) and just leave it as 2 people getting to know each other better. She says she just wants to be friends. So I say lets become really good friends and then if we want to date down the line then we will. So my question to you for anyone who has been in this situation is this… have you ended up “being friends” and then down the line take a chance on dating and now you are happily married? I plan on marrying my best friend when the time comes. I am just really hurt and frustrated that she won’t give us a chance… She said that I was a phenomal guy that treats her like a queen. Any help would be greatly appreciated. thank you
Mardi Gutti says:
I can really relate myself to Laura here. I have a close friend for 11 years but we’ve really known each other for 14 years. On the third year of being friends we became very close like we often do things together such as singing on a guitar and jogging too. We have a good relationship like almost brothers and sisters. As time goes by, he needed to go to another school and I was left behind that he didn’t even personally told me. That time I started to feel that something was really missing. Then before he came back to our hometown, I decided to go somewhere far too but I texted him. I got no reply but at least he knew where I was going. There almost every night I was crying. I really missed him so much like the last thing in my mind before I go to bed and the first name in my mind after walking up is him. I can see his face almost at every corner. That was a real struggle for me. For quite a long time we didn’t keep in touch. The feeling I had went on as the days went by. I tried to detach myself from him because I don’t want the feeling to progress because I think there’s no way he would feel like mine. He had girlfriends. Then recently, we meet again in our hometown .We’re getting close together again. We sometimes talk about things we did in the past. Now we sometimes play instruments together and sing together however the feeling that I used to suppress is getting stronger. When I’m with him, I feel so free and happy with our casual conversation and exchanging of jokes but the moment I’m alone in bed, I always catch myself in tears. I’m hurt. I felt like I’m cheating on him. I really want this feeling to end but the more I get rid of it the tighter I get entangled. I don’t understand why it hurts that much. How can I be freed form this pain?
Saurabh Mishra says:
Is it really?
Anonymous says:
I would imagine so, whoever invented the “friend zone” is an idiot. I’m not saying all friendships equal good relationships, but some can be really freaking cute
lamin says:
hello
Billo says:
hello
lamin says:
hello my friends how are u doing nice to meet u
Billo says:
hi , i would really like to have some piece of advice about my situation, I’ve fallen in love with my best girl friend , i don’t feel like it’s an ordinary kind of care , i just cannot stop thinking about her . The fact is that i told her about my real feelings but she didn’t want to get involved in it because of one failed relation she had already, and she says she doesn’t want me to seffer like she did, and she doesn’t want me to seffer as i did in my first love story , but although we’re still best friends, and my love for her always increases,
k.rajesh kumar says:
Same thing happened to me right now.. I m being baffle buddy.. She still with me as well talk to me as bestfrnd.. But she denied while I purposeed her regarding my feelings.. And said I don’t want to hurt my family if I involve with you they would hurt… Plz buddy help me out.. Does she luv me ya not!!!!
mary says:
I could use some advise
mary says:
I have a best friend that wasn’t my best friend at first . It was only supposed to be a sex thing but now over a year later we both agree that our friendship is more important then the sex , but I already have feelings for him and there is a 13 year age difference and he claims that’s why he won’t have a relationship with me. But when I speak of moving on he seems jealous and I can tell he has some feelings for me. Maybe his feelings aren’t as deep as mine but I can tell he has some. We text all the time hang out all the time and everything he says he looking for in a woman I am that person but he doesn’t like the age difference so I don’t know what to do.
euge aldape says:
I feel the same way i just really love him and i cant just go away i know what you are feeling its the worst knowing that the person you loved for 4 years does not love you back and your are always there for him when he needs help or someone to talk to im lost i dont know what to do …..
Mardi Gutti says:
I can really relate myself to Laura here. I have a close friend for 11 years but we’ve really known each other for 14 years. On the third year of being friends we became very close like we often do things together such as singing on a guitar and jogging too. We have a good relationship like almost brothers and sisters. As time goes by, he needed to go to another school and I was left behind that he didn’t even personally told me. That time I started to feel that something was really missing. Then before he came back to our hometown, I decided to go somewhere far too but I texted him. I got no reply but at least he knew where I was going. There almost every night I was crying. I really missed him so much like the last thing in my mind before I go to bed and the first name in my mind after walking up is him. I can see his face almost at every corner. That was a real struggle for me. For quite a long time we didn’t keep in touch. The feeling I had went on as the days went by. I tried to detach myself from him. didn’t want the feeling to progress because I think there’s no way he would feel alike. He had girlfriends. Then recently, we meet again in our hometown .We’re getting close together again. We sometimes talk about things we did in the past. Recently, we sometimes play instruments together and sing together however the feeling that I used to suppress is getting stronger. When I’m with him, I feel so free and happy with our casual conversation and humor exchanges but the moment I’m alone in bed, I always catch myself in tears. I’m hurt. I felt like I’m cheating on him. I really want this feeling to end but the more I get rid of it the tighter I get entangled. I don’t understand why it hurts that much. Before he went away again for his job, I finally met his girlfriend. I talked with her at least even encouraged her and give pieces of advice. Not a month later , apparently I knew that he’s planning to marry with her in his 30th. And that is very soon because he’s turning 29th in October this year. We’ll somehow I felt better in a sense that maybe these reasons are enough to convince myself to stop, take the different route, dream new dreams, reach new goals, and create my own story without him.
Proud maniac says:
I don’t know what I feel. I just know that I have a friend, right? I care about her a lot, and I don’t want her to get hurt, and all that, because friendship. But it’s different. I want to grab her by the shoulders and pull her into my crazy, messed up world. I want her to see me for the raw human filth I am. And I think about her way too much. I want her to look into my soul and love me anyway. I want to be the demon to her angel. It doesn’t make an ounce of sense, and trust me when I say I don’t want to hurt her, but when I think of her it’s like ripping my heart out because I know that, even if I’m a relatively good person, I won’t be good enough for her. Not because she’s got high standards either. Just because she won’t love me on her own. And I will never force her to deal with something she doesn’t want. I don’t want to trick her into loving me by being someone I’m not. The other thing is that I don’t even know if I love her. I might just be dependent. Because the feeling fades and dulls and then it comes back strong like right now. I don’t know what this means. I don’t. But you must understand that I can’t just leave her. She enjoys being my friend, and she never did anything to hurt me. That I did to myself. I just don’t know what to do. Help?
jayaimz says:
Right where do I start!
Really do think my female bestfriend is the love of my life! We started working together about 7 years ago, both was in situations so it was purely platonic relationship..we connected on so many different levels..lunched everyday..spoke everyday..and even sat in silence (comfortably) our partners even met! ..we are now both single coincidently..I think deep down I always knew she was the one I wanted and I think it may be mutual but the relationship as friends is one of which I’ve never EVER had before, I’d hate to lose that….this last year however I’ve been doing a lot of self development and reading and I’m going for it! This weekend in fact..who knows what I’m going to say!! I’m excited either way it’s time to man up..! 😀 ..wish me luck
Lauren says:
People just end the friendship for good if it hurts you that bad no friendship is worth getting hurt over if you have feelings for someone and they don’t feel the same way then just tell them their a nice person but the friendship isn’t going to work out for you
brokenpot says:
I have known and been friends with this guy for about 17 years now. At first, I started feeling attraction towards him, but I set aside those feelings because he was in a relationship at the time. They broke up (not because of me). For a time, I got really sick and had to stay home. He would go out of his way to take me out. He was dating someone at the time, but that didn’t last as well. When I recovered from my illness, I went back to earn my degree. I met someone during internship. That was serious for a while. I gave birth to my daughter and made my friend her godfather. When I broke up with my daughter’s father, he was there for me. I realized early this year that I had to tell him how I felt. I have always wanted to tell him but was too chicken. When I would try to tell him, he’d just say something like “you’re just hungry/sleep-deprived/medicated”. So I wrote him a letter. That was about 4 months ago. He hasn’t said anything about the letter but he has been acting weird. There would be times he would be very sweet. When we’d seem to cross the line between being platonic and romantic, he would stop texting or calling. Then we’d be a little sweet again. Then he’d be silent again. I’d really like for him to just come out and say something so we could move on from there, either as just friends or more. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Juan says:
I have been friends with my best friend for about 6 years now. We used to be together but then she realized it just wasn’t right, but somehow my feelings grew a lot for her after we split. We then became friends again a couple months later and every year since our friendship has grown very strong. Part of me only wanted to be friends again because I was trying to get her back with me. As time went on my feelings only got stronger for her but I never told her. Every once in a while she claimed she had feelings for me and we would have a connection like no other. Then she just didn’t feel that way the next week. About 4 years in we had sex for the first and only time together. We tell eachother other everything and anything, except for the fact that I love her. We would hang out all the time and the friendship we share is the strongest i could imagine. We would have these moments where we would get intimate and she would tell me she had feelings for me, but she couldn’t have them because she was in a relationship at the time. I can’t understand what she actually thinks of me all the time and I really do want to know. I love her so much but that may still be the case because she leads me on all the time. I have no clue what to do.
Savanna says:
Juan,
It sounds to me like an unhealthy relationship. She’s stringing you along and it’s only because she knows that you’re not going to go any where. From what you’ve said, it seems like everything is always on her schedule, her call. How is that fair to you? I think you should let her go and find someone who will give you the steady love that you so desperately deserve. Doing that will not be easy, and it’s going to hurt like hell. I’ve had to do something similar and it took me almost a year to recover. But in the end, it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Good luck!
cherriesandapples says:
Hey, so did you ever ended up telling her the entire story? im kind of in the same situation, doubting what would be the best to do..
Victoria7588 says:
I am in this situation right now and I need some help. How do you know if your in love? I have a best friend. He says i’m his girl and I like that, but he only means i’m his best friend. I’m in 7th grade right now, i’v known him since the start of 6th. He is so cool and i’v never thought of him as more than a friend. But now whenever i see him I just feel different. He likes somebody else and when i’d say something flirty like “your so cute” he’d respond with a joke, and he would think i’m joking. I’ve tried to say I like him in a way that he would take the hint but he always thinks i am kidding.
Scout says:
Where do I begin? I’ve been best friends with this one boy for a little over a year now. We met on a boating trip to Catalina for a school trip. I had never had an classes with him and didn’t even know he went to my school because its so big. Immediately we became close friends and talked and texted each other every single day. I admit I thought he was cute and really sweet but never planned on doing anything about it because he had a girlfriend and was really happy with his relationship. a couple months after we became friends I began to have really severe depression and anxiety and started cutting and even tried to kill myself, and through all those dark days my best friend was there helping me get past it. about a half a yea later I began the start feeling more like myself and things seemed good. A little while later he broke up with his girlfriend because of mutual reasons. for a while things were pretty good for me, I was happy, he was happy, we started to hang out a lot more and I got up the courage to tell him he was my bestfriend and I loved him (as a friend) and he said he loved me too and I was his best friend. shortly after that I started to have more complicated feelings for him and realized I actually liked him liked him. I mean we had always talked about how we each wanted to be married with two kids and wanted to live in Idaho with a big piece of property and I thought to myself “i can actually see myself with this guy, we could have our futures together” but I kept the thought and my feelings away from him, scared of what he might say. this went on for three months and I was miserable the whole time. I felt like he was leading me on because hed always lean on me when we sat down, and hed tell me how pretty I looked with my hair down and he told me that I can actually be something when I grow up, that I can matter, and that really meant a lot to me after going through depression. and so last week he started talking about this other girl that he really likes and was going to ask her to winter ball. and this just broke my heart, I mean it really broke my heart. we were texting at the time and I remember reading what he wrote and just completely breaking down in tears. I quickly texted him I needed to go and he got mad at me. he said that I always “need to go” when he talks about girls and he said I was treating him like a toy and not his bestfriend. I felt so bad about making him feel that way that I somehow got the courage to tell him how I felt. idk what I was expecting, maybe for him to secretly like me back, maybe for him to tell me everything was going to be ok? he started saying how he sees me as family and how hes never going to see me any differently and how we can never be together. and it just tore me apart. I had never felt that bad. but I wiped my tears and managed to tell him that at least I would still have him as a best friend. for he past couple days things have been a little awkward but when he texts me about the girl he likes I have no choice but to listen and try and be as positive and supportive as I can. ive been started to feel as sad as I did in my depression days but I feel like I cant tell him because I don’t want him to think its his fault. and so today he came to school with this big poster to ask his crush to winter ball. he said good morning to me and told me he was going to go look for her. he turned to head for the cafeteria and I just stood there and started to cry! in the middle of the school quad! it was so embarrassing and I didn’t want him to see me and ruin his happiness so I ran into the halls and into the bathroom and stayed in there until the bell rang. I avoided him all day just because I felt so bad. and a few hours ago he texted me and asked what was wrong and I told him how much hes been hurting me lately and he texted me like he was mad at me! like I was doing something wrong! and I didn’t know how to react because I really had been supportive through all of this even though it hurts and now we’re having a big fight and I just feel like I ruined everything. I have no other friends to talk to and it fees like im falling apart, what do I do?
Natalie says:
I really don’t get how I feel. Me, and my good friend were best friends in 4th grade I never thought of him as a crush. We always played video games together, and I thought life couldn’t get any better. Then six grade started in August I saw him just a couple rooms down, and It felt electric it was like a needed to talk to him so we talked everyday for about a month, and I had a crush on him. It was the kind of crush were you would tell your friends about him, and practically drull over him thinking things like he’s so cute or omg I love his haircut you know. Any way another couple of monthes later I decided I wanted to stop having a crush on him, but for some reason I just couldn’t. We were still talking everyday, and then one day I just stopped thinking about him. I felt happy when we would be talking, but when I got over him finnaly that night at about one o clock in the morning I started balling my eyes out, and did it every phew nights, but still be happy when I saw him. Tonight I spent a long time looking at the moon thinking about him still crying. We’re still good friends, and I really don’t know what this is. Back in 4th grade on the last day of school they played ROAR by katy perry, and I still feel like crying everytime I hear that song.
Mar says:
I know this guy for 6 years now, and we were friends at the beginning but not that close. In 2014 I found out I’m bisexual and told my friends and when I told him he found the courage to tell someone he’s gay I was the first person to know. We became the best of friends. He came out, I came out. I feel so happy when I’m with him and I know saying this probably means I have low self esteem but I feel whole when I’m with him and I know that I love him, with all my heart but drawing the line between platonic and romantic love can get hard. Now I don’t know what to do, what’s best for me? Maybe we can be in a poly amorous relationship… He confuses me, sometimes it is clear we are just friends and other times we joke about being a couple and we like to hold hands and ugh I don’t know what to think, please give me some advice.
Beth says:
i’m only 16 but I am well and truly convinced that my best friend is ‘the one’. We’re both girls (both admitted to having open sexualities) and we have a connection which I don’t think many best friends even have… I would do absolutely anything for this girl. Heck, she has saved my life.
We always talk about how we will live together after university and how we want to go to another world together. We were cuddling at night during a sleepover in a very ‘couple-like’ position and she would just say ‘is this gay?!’ and i was just like ‘probably’ but we stayed like that… When saying goodbye after meeting, we would just stand and hug in the middle of the street for ages and ages and neither of us would ever want to let go…
We were together on new years and when she was really drunk she told me that she loved me, like, really was in love with me… but i dont know if she remembers because she never brought it up after and i never told her that she said it…
But what I’m really scared of is losing her. I’ve never had good experiences with dating, and no relationships made at 16 ever seem to last long. This girl is my soul mate and there is no way I’m risking losing her so soon… I might wait til after university, but what if we drift apart by then… what if she finds a partner in university… i can’t imagine myself spending life with anyone but her, so I don’t know what to do…
Wow… typing all this out has been like letting out a big breath of air… i still dont know what to do about all this tho…
Hanna says:
I am stuck in the exact same situation.. I really do suck at this stuff so I’m sorry, but I think you understand. I am in love with my best friend, the thing is, we are both female. I still remember the time we hugged in the hallway, it seemed to last nearly five minutes. I just wanted to hold her for the rest of my life. Once, We were laying on her bed and she was looking me in the eyes silently. It was very peaceful and though all I wanted to do was confess, I sat there with her. She kissed my cheek as we left, quick and friendly, but I will never forget it. I drives me insane, they way we act just seems like a little, even a little, more like friendship and I just want to openly love her so bad. We were stargazing and she cuddles close to me because she got cold and… I just wanted to hold her. These simple interactions are killing me, all I want to do is love her. Her and no one else. But the problem is, she is always talking about her crush, male, which always throws things off. We act all affectionate and almost lovey and he comes up. I don’t understand..
Alexandra Jade Weibley says:
I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way about my friend but the only difference she told me she only wants to be friends. It didn’t destroy our friendship but it rips me apart.
Alexis says:
What do I do if my sister is dating the guy I like and he likes me
seth says:
ok so their is this girl i really really like and are ridiculously close and after talking to someone for years every night until 3 u get pretty close to them and you know what i told her the way i feel and well yah she said that she didn’t like me like that and yah i was sad i sorta knew that she would say no but i needed to get it off my chest but as soon as i she said that she didn’t like me she said that it doesn’t matter if i like her or not she doesn’t care and that nothing i say will get her to stop talking to me but any way the point is that even though it didn’t turn out as romantic relationship she didn’t stop talking to me and we are still if not more so extreamly close and so what im saying is that if you are really close to this person something like that wont destroy your friendship so just go for it tell them the way u feel u feel much better after words anyway and it might work out for u in the end
SusuOtakuArtist says:
I am a girl, and I’m in love with my best friend, who is a girl as well. Of course she’s straight and I’m not. Every time she hugs me I feel like I just want to hold her close to me and never let go. But she has boy friends, (one after the other and never stays long with the same one) and when she does, I feel very hurt? Jealous? I mean I get that I should stay away from her but, being told that love is forbidden does not kill love. It strengthens it. So I guess I’ll just stand by?
Alexandra Jade Weibley says:
I’m trans M to F. I have feelings for my best friend. I would say they are not just the caring kind. I don’t know what I would do without her. She started to see a girl she met on a dating site. She invited her already along to a corn maze with another fried and myself. It hurt so badly going through that. Not long after she ended it. I’m finding my feeling gn’s are stronger than before. I’m also finding that I’m pulling away emotionally.
Liz says:
What if it’s the same sex
Jack says:
My bestfriend loves me and i think i love her too. I get these off and on feelings. I can’t tell if it’s just the caring love or more than that. I need some advice.
Amelia says:
Hi Jack,
I’m in a similar situation and wonder the same thing. If you feel that your friendship is strong enough to handle that kind of conversation, then talk to her about what you could possibly be feeling. The thing that women want the most is for a man to pursue her and show her (not just tell her) how he feels. We all want a man to “show & tell” us his emotions. I would say pray on it first to get some clarity on your own feelings and if you still have feelings in your heart toward your friend, then share it with her openly and honestly. I hope this helps
Red Ghost says:
Advice: DON’T DO IT
rhize says:
I feel your pain. I am also in love with my bestfriend and he knows what I feel for him, He told me that he can’t imagine me as his girlfriend but I am still confuse with his actions, on how he care, on how he treated me.. People around us are believing that we have relationship more than just being friends. Me too, still confuse in our status because he always watch over my actions, he gets jealous,he won’t let me do some things he never want me to do, we fought like we are lovers. But he is still communicating with his ex and ex-mu (which I think he still has the feelings) and it makes me suffer from pain. I can’t tell him that I’ve been hurt,jealous,insecure because I dont want to ruin our friendship, I cant abandon him. He wants me to stay but sometimes, he wants to give up although I didnt make trouble, or maybe I did but not meant to do it. I want to stop from hoping that we have the chance rather he can love me more and be the only woman in his heart but its really hard to forget the feelings. So, its better to suffer and just go with the flow, also be happy for him. Whatever happens I’ll be grateful that I met someone like him who means the world to me.
Kristi says:
Hey, need some tipps please, So I am a girl and after I met this girl while abroad we clicked so perfectly, I can’t imagine not having her in my life, and even though we see each other a few times a year, we talk, skype , chat all the time and when we do see each other all I want to do is hold her close all the time. When I slept over at hers we were both feeling cuddly in the morning and spooned( never felt so good, feeling so close to her was overwhelming in the best possible way) and do every night and morning everytime we see each other.
She is straight and I thought I was too, but eversince I met her I’ve had doubts if I wasn’t .
Recently I had a dream where we were making out and I felt so perfect you can’t even imagine. I’ve come to realise I am bisexual and with time I am falling in love with her more and more. How do I stop this feeling? I know she wouldn’t act the same around me if I told her that I like her more than a friend.
Jess says:
What ever happened here? I am in nearly the EXACT same situation
Winter says:
Omg green this is exactly my case . But I m currently trying out a relationship with him even though he is still not over the one who has hurt him so much . It sucks. But I will never be able to love anyone except him . He said everything your BFF said too earlier but now he confessed that he never loved me . I don’t know why did he do everything he did that made me fall in love with him in the first place . It was like my whole life falling apart . Shattering from the very beginning. It sucks it really does. I cried when I realized I was falling for him and I still do cuz I know he’did never love me if he hasn’t already in these 8 years
Red Ghost says:
I’m going through this right now and NO you should NOT EVER “fall” for a friend EVER. I am so sick right now…we went from being nearly inseparable as friends, able to laugh at everything, talking all the time, promising that we’d always be there for each other to “get out of my life” all within a week of letting too much happen too fast.
There is NO way to reverse what happens, it’s like trying to take a bullet out of the air once it’s been fire from a gun. I am so devastated and heart-broken right now I can hardly stand it. I can’t believe she is not only GONE but was so vicious to me in the process of ending it all 🙁
DO NOT MAKE MY MISTAKE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Chronic says:
Many many years ago I was in love with someone and we could not marry. He got engaged while we were together and it really hurt but he kept coming back. I finally left the country and tried to get on with my life, though the pain and loss was still there. A few years ago I found him again. I knew that I still loved him and I think he still loved me. He called me regularly but his life was what it was with his wife and grown children. I am glad I never married him because he couldn’t give me what I deserved. And your friend cannot give you what you deserve. You deserve to be loved fully by a man, someone who you can build a good life with, who you can laugh with, someone you can build a family with. As painful as your situation is, and no matter how badly you feel, please be your own best friend. Take care of yourself first. Do not live for someone who cannot love you the way you should be loved. When you are healed from this man, you will become open to someone who really loves you and who you love. It will happen, but you need to rid yourself of what is inside you now because it is toxic.
emily says:
Hi guys,
I’ve known my best friend for 5 years. We always got along really well, he is in my university. During our 3rd year, we were on exchange in the same city and sort of became inseparable. He has never shown any real indications that he feels the same way i do about him. He has said things to me like you’re the best person in the world and you look incredible tonight..but i guess as my best friend thats his job, right? the only reason i think there might be slight hope is because in the beginning of our friendship and up until a few months ago, I used to encourage him to get with girls and act as a sort of wingwoman to him, but the favour was never returned. but i dont know, maybe I just want to find any reason. About 6 months ago i realised that i am falling for him, I pulled away for a while, not knowing what to do with my feelings but he didnt let me go. we have been through so much together and I couldnt imagine life without him, but it kills me to just say nothing, to smile when i want to cry, it is killing me. we are both moving away now until september and i thought about saying something before i leave, should i? or should i wait the 2 months and see if anything has changed? the longer i dont tell, the more emotionally unavailable i am, the more upset i get. I dont know the right answer because i want him to be in m life forever, even if it is just as a friend. I wish i could snap my fingers and make my feelings go away.
help. Pleaseeee
Joe Wolfe says:
Hi Emily, i am no love expert by any means but i am gonna give you my 2 cents. do you want to live the rest of your live thinking that you never your told your friend you had feelings for him? if not then please tell him how you feel. its better to try then hide. i hope you get what are you hoping for. i am feeling the same way towards my best friend. she is kindest, most caring and beautiful person i have ever meet but i am afraid that if i share my feelings to her she will distance herself from me but i am gonna take a chance and tell her anyway cuz 50 years from now at least i can tell myself that i tried vs thinking that i wish i had said something to her. its really nerve wrecking. i do not want to lose her but i have to tell her. good luck and God bless.
Elijah Brooks says:
I need some advice. My best friend and I have known each other for nearly a year now. We started out as friends but became real close a few months after we met. Now I am in love with her so bad. I often wish I could tell her how I actually feel but one day it seems like she likes me and the next she just wants to be friends. She did tell me of a dream she had where we were married and happy, but other than that she really hasn’t implied that she actually likes me. I don’t know whether I should pursue or not because I don’t wanna lose our friendship.
Ash says:
Most of the time dreams represent what you subconsciously want to happen, though sometimes that’s not the case and you were just having a random dream. Don’t know if this was helpful, but… it’s usually the first
Humanoid says:
I think you should tell her you like her, tell her how you feel and ask if she’d give you a chance. If she says no tell her you hope to remain friends and if your formal relationship is important to her she most likely won’t leave the friendship. If you decide to follow my advice please tell me how it went, good luck 🙂
Elandria says:
I met this guy years ago when I was going through a rough time during those adolescent years. We became friends instantly. We talked everyday about everything. He had a gf at the time but we still talked all the time and spent every moment together that we could. I instantly liked him but ignored it. He once told me that I made him the person he is & he’s glad that I made him that way. Now we’ve been friends for 6 1/2 years. We fight like an old married couple but we get eachother. We can say what the other is thinking while they’re thinking it & we can finish eachother’s sentences. Over the course of our friendship, we’ve spent 4 years apart (I left for a year-he left for 3.) We grew apart while he was away but when he came back, it was like he never left. Then I left and we managed to get closer. Now he’s leaving to be a coast guard in NJ which is way across the country. We’ve agreed to continue our friendship. We’ve gone weeks and months not talking to eachother & even years without seeing eachother but we’ve always found our way back. Everytime I catch myself having feelings for him.
axel miranda says:
Im 13 im a guy and im in love with this girl who is 15 and i met her when i was 11…. before her i would notice people and think there hot or cute and i would crush on people….but the second i laid eyes on this one girl i was blown away by her….. and our eyes locked fro a distance…. that night shes all i could think about…. and then i started talking to her and texting her…. its been almost 3 years since we have been best friends…. she has another best friend and shes a girl so its fine…. she always acts flirty and i love it and i get distracted in school because thats the only thing i think about is her…. we do all kinds of stuff together and some stuff i dont know if regular friends do or not….please let me know if normal people do this…
she always sits by me really closely, we hug alot and like long hugs, sometimes hold hands, talk every day sll the time, go to each others houses, go to the movies together, the mall, road trips, bowling,ice skating, water parks, formal dances etc., she laughs at almost every joke i say even if there not funny, ill purposefully talk to her about girls and she always says dont worry about girls, we have kissed before but that was an accident, we go out to eat together, we sometimes lay down underneath a blanket and talk or listen to music, we have almost everything in common including our pasts, she smacks my butt sometimes, we share drinks food ice cream etc., I have told her how i feel about her twice… the first time it was over text and she said ok cool and nothing else, the second time i sat down on a couch with her and asked her if she likes me and i told her i like her and she was like no your my bro, and i told her that we should proly stay friends for now, but its so confusing cuz idk if she likes me…i try to tell her but not my saying it and ill give her roses or flirt and she does too… i need help.
jack says:
don’t rush it. I know how that must feel, but I felt the same way when I was 14. she was 16. the fact is, it could become Sirius, but 13 is kinda young to think about it. if you wait a little longer, then she will probably be more open to it
Alexis Bozeman says:
Give it time.Don’t stop letting her know how you feel but don’t be pushy.Ive had this guy best friend for years and our relationship is like yours in many ways.Ive liked him for a while but was to scared to tell him the truth no matter how many times I told him he was like a brother/best friend simply because I didn’t want to risk losing my best friend. He never once stopped showing the feelings he had for me.He could always see right through me though. I recently told him the truth and we have a bright future ahead of us. And we have a better bond because of the friendship we’ve had for so long. I hope everything works out for you. Hopefully you’ll be as happy as we are!
iamanaminal says:
My best friend and I fell in love over a long period of time. Met and became instant best friends when we were at the beginning of 8th grade. We would do things together constantly, go to movies, talk constantly about random somethings and random nothings for a couple years. Then we started having movie night at either her place or mine. Then we started becoming closer, cuddling during the movie nights, a little handsy with each other, more of the nice cute type smiles at each other, occasional small kisses, etc. After a great and romantic prom in our junior year, with our first real kisses, not just 1, that night, all the right feelings went forward and accelerated quickly, fell even more in love with each other, as if we weren’t already, and from then on for the last 5 years, it has been the best relationship one can have, and 2 weeks after college, we got engaged! Heading for a march wedding!
Brookayy says:
I have feelings for this my guy best friend who I used to go to school with we didn’t really talk much at first but online we did we shortly became good friends and hung out almost every chance we could and everytime we were together it’s like I was in a trance my heart would skip beats, knots in my stomach grew tighter, I just wanted to tell him how I felt so bad but I was just too shy the sad part is he has a girlfriend but he always complains about their relationship they have a lot of issues when that happens he often gets flirty with me but when everything is find and dandy he forgets about me I know he doesn’t feel the same.. It kills me I can’t sleep nor eat or do anything I always think about him non stop I just want to move on but I don’t know how or what to do I love him..
Jacob says:
Alright I need someone to give me real advice. I’ve been best friends with this girl since we were 5 years old (12 years). Ever since we started high school, I’ve had a bit of a crush on her. It’s senior year now and I’ve fallen in love with her. I’m about 90% sure it’s not mutual, but I really want to find out if it is or get her to like me somehow if it’s not. I haven’t told her directly, but I’ve hinted at it a few times. I like to joke around a lot, especially about me having a crush on her. Lots of my friends joke about it too, but I don’t know if she thinks I’m serious about it. She has a really nice body, and I make jokes saying stuff like “I’d hit that.” I believe she might just think that I don’t actually like her, but just that I would “tap that” if I had the opportunity.
From my perspective (and my friends’) I’m in the deepest form of friendzone known as the boyfriend zone. Basically I’m like a boyfriend because I care a lot about her and we do a lot for each other, but it’s because we’re friends.
What should I do? Because I really don’t know how I should approach the situation.
Jacob says:
Alright I need someone to give me real advice. I’ve been best friends with this girl since we were 5 years old (12 years). Ever since we started high school, I’ve had a bit of a crush on her. It’s senior year now and I’ve fallen in love with her. I’m about 90% sure it’s not mutual, but I really want to find out if it is or get her to like me somehow if it’s not. I haven’t told her directly, but I’ve hinted at it a few times. I like to joke around a lot, especially about me having a crush on her. Lots of my friends joke about it too, but I don’t know if she thinks I’m serious about it. She has a really nice body, and I make jokes saying stuff like “I’d hit that.” I believe she might just think that I don’t actually like her, but just that I would “tap that” if I had the opportunity. From my perspective (and my friends’) I’m in the deepest form of friendzone known as the boyfriend zone. Basically I’m like a boyfriend because I care a lot about her and we do a lot for each other, but it’s because we’re friends. What should I do? Because I really don’t know how I should approach the situation.
Humanoid says:
I think you should tell her you like her. Just tell her how you feel and ask her if maybe she’d give you a chance. If she doesn’t feel the same way at least you tried, you never know, she might like you too. I recently told my best friend I had a crush on him and he said he liked me too. Just go for it, it most likely won’t effect your relationship if she says she’s not interested, it might seem awkward at first but if it was a good friendship she’ll still want to be friends.
Eli says:
So there are these two guys.. The first one I had a major crush on for 4 years… But early this year I realized that I needed to stop obsessing over him cause that was just not healthy.. So I told him I liked him and he said he dint have any feelings for me at all except to be friends…. So then I just decided to get completely over him. Meanwhile his best friend had been in love with one of my good friends… But she did not like him.. So i was trying to help him get over her and tell him she dint like him but like… nicely… cause I dint want to hurt him… So then we start talking quite a bit… And as the months pasted we started talking like 3 or 4 times a week and now these past 3 or 4 months we have been talking like every single day at least once.. About 2 months ago I got back from a 2 month missions trip and went to a ranch where I live…. He was completely in love with this short terms girl from the States… And had me in the middle of him asking if she wanted to kiss him… When I had gotten back I had just started to have feelings for him… But he was in love with this girl… So i was like ok.. When she leaves and he forgets about her then he can be mine… So finally she leaves… And little by little my feelings start to grow… We start talking all the time and like hanging out whenever we are together in groups and stuff. Then recently one day… We held hands…. and like.. gahh…. It… was amazing… and since then we have held hands like 3 times…
But here is the thing… I don’t think God wants me to marry him… And I don’t want to date someone I don’t have an intention of getting married with.. I know that sounds all old fashioned and everything… But I don’t think its worth the time and pain.. So like I don’t know what to do… Cause we are like already holding hands and I think a few people suspect we like each other… And I think the first guy i liked saw us holding hands once…. gahh Im so confused and don’t know what to do…. Its like I want to back out of this.. But I don’t know how.. and like i don’t want to loose our friendship cause its a good one… I don’t want to mess things up…
cam says:
i have known her for 4 years and i liked her at the start of the 2nd year and we actually dated for about a month and in that time i feel in love with her but she broke up with me and i dont know what to do anymore,its just so hard. when ever i look at her all the feelings rush through me, and it hurts more then anything
unicornhorse 123 says:
What do I do I have my females best friend (im a girl) and she is pretty and drop dead gorgeous but she’s is my best friend what do I do???
Brett says:
i don’t know what to do i like my best friend , but she has a BF and i just can’t keep her off my mind i don’t know anymore because during this summer she and i told each other how we feel about each other and we apparently liked each other but she was dating someone already i know i have lot to learn since i’m only 14 years old but i just need help i cant keep my feelings in anymore can someone help? (p.s. I know i didn’t use punctuation for this i just needed everything out)this is also my first time expressing my feeling a loud.
Lovethrobe8 says:
Even after reading this article I’m still nor ready to confess to my best friend I’ve already decide that I will be his best friend if I can’t be his boyfriend as long as have him in my life I’m happy with just spending time with him.
Nasma says:
I like my best friend but he really likes my best friend and im stating to get angry and sad and this is depressing me.Like my best friend sorta told me to stay away from him today im not so sure for real,though.And whenever im sad he doesn’t really notice me.And I sorta start the conversations,but he treats me like a true friend and my other friend told me he wrote a note to my best friend saying “Your the best thing that happened to me”.And i cant tell my parents because they will get mad at me.I dont know what to do and i dont wanna loose my two friends or change schools.Can someone help me? I cant keep this up any longer 🙁
bunnybear says:
I have a best friend I’ve known for years. They once asked me out, and I turned them down, but that was because I wasn’t sure if I like them. I’m just extremely oblivious to my own feelings. However after they got a girlfriend I realized I’m not happy, and can’t tell if it’s because I’m no longer the one closest to them, or because I like them. They’re the lay person with whom I can have a bad hair day, and they’re the person to whom I’ll feed french fries as they drive from a fast food joint (since their hands are busy). They’re also the only person about whom if likely be able to answer just about every question, and they’re my top choice for a piggy back ride.
YulyIzWeiRd says:
If they have a girlfriend and u see ’em kiss, do u feel like internally throwing up? Do u regret not liking them before they got a girlfriend? Because if u said yes to any of the 2 questions u do like them and have to come clear and tell them until it gets worst. U might feel better about telling them. And they may feel the same, single or not, some ppl just cant resist fallin in love. If they do turn u down and tell u its too late, then try to move on because that friendship will keep on and u dont have to worry or regret about anything. Life’s too short to ignore a feeling.
matz says:
i am in a similar situation, my best friend jst left now and i sat there crying my eyes out , i jst love him too much but i cant tell him cause am rly scared that might damage our friendship , fact is im hurting myself a lot , and am breaking my own heart doing this , friends told me to distant myself from him but i just cant , smtimes i think i’d rather be in so much pain than being distant from him , and thats why i cant reveal my feelings for him , in a fear than he might distant himself from me , and i know i wont handle it.
Anonymous says:
I had a similar problem. My best friend and I are so close, he knows my mind better than I do. But eventually I came to the inevitable conclusion that I loved him as more than my best friend. So I fought with my heart for 2 days before I blurted it out to him, rather publicly, too. His words were, and I quote, “I like you, too. You know I’m not an idiot?” While this may come across as harsh to most, I can see it as what it was meant to be, the reassurance I needed that he hadn’t misunderstood what I said to be meant as only a best friend. In the end we’re just best friends, but it’s better to keep nothing a secret from your best friend.
anonnnnnnnnnn says:
Im speaking from a guys perspective. I told my best friend that i had feelings for her and she currently likes someone else and said you do know the feeling isnt mutual. I understand this and cherish her so much and all but it feels like everytime i see her im not good enough for her and that im a failure. She cares about me alot but yet she still acts shady at times, ive always given her my all and yet i feel as though she doesnt notice the things i do for her and the worst thing is shes a very close person and if she does get into a relationship with the person she likes it will last a very long time as a result i know the both of us will drift apart which is the last thing i want to happen shes one of the biggest blessings in my life i dont know what to do. does anyone else?
anony says:
If you haven’t already, I think you should make it clear that despite those feelings, you don’t want your friendship to end, and if she means so much to you, that you’ll do anything to, if nothing else, stay friends
anonnnnnnnnnn says:
She just told me she has deep feelings for someone i strongly dislike. it seems like my world is falling apart. The truth is i love her, and it hurts me so much seeing her like this guy, it pains me so much it feels like a part of me is dead there is no happiness within me and i know when i see her all im going to think about is me being in adequate. Right now i feel like a waste of a human life because the one thing in the world that kept me going is gone. ( the hope that one day me and her could be in a relationship). One other things i can say from experience to all guys is nice guys never win, i gave her everything i had and i loved her to bits, i was there for here when no one else was, yet she chose a guy who has absolutely no respect for women. So guys if you like a girl act like a twat and youll get further than i did. My god it hurts, just thinking about it.
Anno says:
If you are her friend, truly her friend you should try to be happy for her. I know it’s hard but you have to give her your blessings, because if you don’t she may end up hating you, be her friend, you never know how long their relationship Will last.
anonnnnnnnnnn says:
Also i feel like the reason she doesnt like me in that way is because i am not good looking. thats the truth ik that she loves my personality i make her laugh, i annoy her, i say cute things, i tell her how amazing she is but the truth is there has never been a day where she has said that i look good, or commented on my looks, and it pains me soo soo soo much knowing that she has the deepest feelings for the one guy in the world that i cannot stand, i hate him with a passion and yet without trying hes able to steal the one good thing in my life, for the last few days all ive been thinking about is how worthless i am, and how much of a fool ive made myself look like.
anonnnnnnnnnn says:
Thought id update you, but she has pushed me away and gone on to her new man. She says she still wants to be friends but she doesnt want to do anything we used to. Shes trying to distance herself from me for a while, so ive decided to end it, it just hurts that the person who i expected to be there for my entire life has pushed me so far away that we cant even be friends. We used to spend hours speaking to each other, now we cant hold a conversation lasting more than 30s. The one who said that we would be the godparents of each others children has pushed me so far away. I will always have love for her though, she changed me, made me see the world in a better way, gave me hope when i was depressed, loved me when no one else did, took me in when everyone else deserted me.
Annonymous says:
Confront yourself,,
Maricarmen Ramos says:
Don’t you ever hold your feelings in bc of fear. Life is a beautiful thing and the greatest things in life happen bc of risks we take. You’ll never know unless it’s too late. Don’t waste time hun, let him know. I spent my whole life in fear of things not going how I want. But I’ve realized when it goes unexpectedly, life becomes even more beautiful and magical. I pray you can let him know soon and that he can realize how wonderful you’d be to him.
Millie says:
I’ve had the same boy by my side for the past few years he has always been my shoulder to cry on and he is my bestfriend he once told me he liked me but that was a while back but now we seem to argue because I get so jealous of him when he goes with girls but I think I’m falling in love with him as I have never felt this way before considering the fact our family’s are kind of close. I just don’t know what to do because I don’t want to tell him and risk what we have now but if I do I could end up happier than ever before or full of regrets.
Jenna says:
On Snapchat I did the thing where u could ask me anything you’d like and I have to respond truthfully so my best friend(crush) who I know his crush asked me to be honest and tell him who I like I hesitated at first like do I lie or do I speak truthfully so I told him the truth he took it rly well and responded with I totally get it tho I rly like her and I don’t know how I feel about u cause I’ve been so focus with her so it definitely opened up his mind and afterward we had a conversation and at the end when he had to go to bed well here’s how it went :
BFF/Crush : Good night
Me: Goodnight
BFF/Crush : I love you
Me: I love you too
So it went very well and if anyone else get stuck in the scenario tell the truth and you may be surprised with the response
ThatGuy says:
I was in love with my best friend for 1 year. Roughly new years eve 2015 to new years eve 2016. We talked everyday for almost 2 years and we through so many “i love you” and “❤”‘s around. We built a deep connection and bonded over so much, in our lives, what we aspire to be, etc. Truth is she made me so happy and i truly care about her. So i finally grew the courage to ask her out and boom, like that it was a yes and she told me she had liked me for a long time. So dont let your doubts about what they will think or say most likely they will like you back. todays date is 1.10.17 and i gotta say i loveithis relationship more than any other
Niteesh says:
I’m 17 now and I’ve a girl friend and she’s my best and only friend. I don’t know what feelings she has for me, but, I think, she’d be perfect partner for me. We can’t talk face to face now, but I can still talk to her on phone and chat with her. I don’t know what do. If, she accepts when I propose her, it would be well and good. I fear of loosing her friendship too. I don’t know what to do. How shall I learn about the feelings she has for me. You guys are experienced in life and help me, please. I’m sure, that I won’t get any support from my parents as she is of different caste. I am depending on you. Please help me.
VLX says:
Hello! How long have you two known each other? And by “propose”, do you mean in marriage?
Bill says:
so I am only in highschool. I have a best friend and I am in love with her. We developed a good relationship for a solid two years. Lately I had felt that we were just clicking better then usual. I started to gain feelings for her. I really didn’t know what to do. I kept think about her constantly and then one night I finally said screw it and told her how I felt. She understood how I felt but did no feel the same way. Currently we aren’t talking because I said I needed some space. I want to be best friends with her again, but what happens when I’m still in love? What do I do?
Charlie says:
I love my best friend, she has a great personality and she believes in God like me. I have told her I like her in the past just to get it off my chest, but she was dating someone else. She recently asked me if I still have feelings for her and I do but when she asked me, I said I do not know. Truth be told, I love her but I do not want to risk our friendship. She also said to me that she was going to move in six months for about three years. She also asked if we are cool, and I said yes. What do I do?
VLX says:
It doesn’t matter if you’re straight/gay or whatever, the rules of love doesn’t change. Just keep in mind, that homosexuals are minority so it’s unlikely that your friend will have the same attraction.
If your friendship is built on trust and honesty, I believe it can endure regardless of outcome.
daisy101 says:
i have a best friend thats a guy but hes a grade above me and goes to a different school, so we rarely get to see each other, but we text and talk on the phone all the time. lately i have just been feeling that me and him are drifting apart and not as close as we used to be. i dont want to bring it up because i always bring up problems and i sound needy and stuff. i dont know what to do because i dont know if he feels the same. what do i do??
disqus_3tFiVh1WIJ says:
I am in the same boat as a bunch of people apparently…it’s so hard to not say anything isn’t it? especially when you aren’t sure and you see other girls talking to them,etc…I spend many sleepless nights going over things to try to know what’s in his mind. Some days I feel whatever happens happens and others i am on the edge of losing my mind trying to avoid just telling him.It’s such a delicate thing I definitely do not want to screw things up and lose the best friend i’ve ever had,but at the same time i know we would be so great together…at a loss!!
Henry says:
I love her
Henry says:
I love my best friend. She lives far away. I rarely see her but we text and talk often. I just saw her two days ago, and Im so depressed now. What should I do? I really miss her
Cami says:
Hello. My name is Cami. I’m 16 years and old and I’m a sophomore in high school. The thing is with me, most of my friends have found love, lost it, but lost it again. I have a friend who really loved a guy who was always there for her growing up through elementary school and middle school, and even now in high school. I’m trying to help her move on because he doesn’t care about her anymore. I don’t know what to do or how to help her? Especially now, when I’m trying to figure out if I’m falling in love with my best friend. Me and my best friend have known each other for almost 4 years now, and even though we’ve only known each other for a couple of years, I feel like he gets me and he gets what I’m going through every minute of every day. He cheers me up when I’m sad, or hurt, or in a mood. He makes me smile everyday. I realized that I’ve had feelings for him for a while. I don’t know if I’m falling in love with him. My feelings are everywhere whenever we’re together because I’ve never felt feelings like this before, with anyone. He has got one of the biggest hearts in the world. I recently asked him to a Valentines Dance, but it was cancelled because not enough people bought tickets for it. I was really sad about it being cancelled, but I’m not sure if he was. Only one of my friends knows about my feelings for him. Him and I share the exact same group of friends and I’m afraid of what could happen if he found out that I had feelings for through them. I don’t know if he has feelings for me or not, because he never shows any emotion around me, and that’s what I’m worried about. What if he just wants to be friends, what if he doesn’t feel anything? What should I do about it? I’m so lost, will you please help me? Thank you for listening
Cami J
Maratimis says:
Hey Cami. I have a friend named similar to you haha, but let’s get to the point. You guys seem like you have a bond, and he already knows you love, I know this because of the Valentines Dance. Just tell him yourself he’s trying to figure you out like a puzzle, he wants to know if you like him, help him with that puzzle. Tell him you have feelings for him. If he rejects you tell him you wanna stay friends. And maybe you could ask him again. I posted this very late almost a year, but just try to tell him. Trust me it’s gonna be fine.
Good luck!
felix devlin says:
i really wann do something about it but im actuall afraid of that
Koschei Theta says:
I need help with this issue, after falling in love with my best friend I’ve been struggling to act normally when I’m with her and she has commented on my strange behaviour… Any idea how to correct this?
dinda fisher says:
well i know it’s hard to tell your own best friends that you are in love with them.
i saw him like forever its about 20 years became best friends because he live in the next door, until now i just want to tell him that i always love him no matter what happens love you con- not because we are married with someone else this feeling will change i remember when you tell me that you love me too in my wedding day i know it’s too late but i wont let this gone… i will always and forever choose you as the only one person in my heart.
cindy says:
Hey everyone, I need some advice asap. Im really close to my “guy best friend” we have been friends for about 2 years really close. And he is always talking about other girls in front of me and there are constantly messages coming up on his phone. AND ITS CRUSHINGGG ME. i dont want to tell him that i like him incase i come off creepy, or if he doesn’t like me back. Also dont want to ruin my friendship with him because we go out together a lot and do fun things. I dont know if i should tell him i like him, or just leave it?
Maratimis says:
Tell him, what ever you do DON’T risk it just don’t! If you do another girl is gonna ask him because he isn’t obviously quite a “lady’s man”. If someone asks him first you know you will be crushed. Tell him now so you don’t risk the other dangers of not telling him.
Sparky Owl says:
I’ve known a guy for like 4 years but it was just this year that we became like best friends who tell each other everything. And I’ve been in love with him for so long. But he’s answered
multiple times who he like but he always says no one. He’s move away a week after school ends though. How do I tell him that I love him?
Jai says:
My best guy friend and i have been hanging out three years now. Just a few months ago he told me that hes a virgin and then he asked me if maybe i would do it with him(hes told me he has feelings for me).. i said no of course. Im 17 still in school and he is 18 already graduated.. ive always had slight. Bits of feelings for him but i just dont know. Today we were in his room and his dog has to be put down . I was trying to cheer him up a bit and then i just kissed him. After that it became more. We didnt have sex but its just after kissing him i dont know how to feel…but i cant stop thinking about it..need help or opinions
TheHopeLine® says:
That is a really difficult situation and I can imagine the emotions feel overwhelming. Try to think through this logically and not emotionally. Our HopeCoaches are here for you – they listen and have practical wisdom to help guide you. Click the chat now button or go to this link – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp All chats are private, safe, and free. We are here to help.
Artistic Pepe says:
I’m in love with a friend who is the same sex. So I don’t if this article is relevant to me. However it does make some good points.
American Psycho says:
It’s a tough situation to be in. I’ve known my female friend for over 20 years, we had some gaps of being out of each others lives in between. The last few months we became closer, we have those long phone conversations, we finally expressed our mutual feelings of love and caring but our friendship has yet to move to the next level.
At first my heart was crushed. I never knew she felt the way she did about me. She isn’t sure she wants to be in a relationship with anybody due to personal health issues. I respect her wishes but also let her know that I want to be there for her and I’m not afraid of being hurt if she were to succumb to her health issues, now matter what level of a relationship we are in it’s going hurt if something were to happen to her.
At first when we talked on the phone after expressing our feelings I just wasn’t my happy self on the phone. I was quiet and didn’t say a lot. I usually made her laugh, she asked what was wrong, and are we okay? In my heart I’m feeling no, we aren’t okay, we both said we loved one another, but are still only friends and not a couple.
I realized I needed to get out of this funk and continue to be the guys she knows and loves or it will destroy our friendship. It isn’t easy putting on a false front, this is breaking my heart because I do really love her. Part of my brain is telling me to let go and move on. The other part of my brain is telling to remain friends and perhaps in time things will change. (Other than in the movies, do they ever)?
It’s all so maddening.
Ericka says:
What do you do?it happens to the best of of girl has guy best friend she falls in love he looks into her eyes and says you’re literally the only person I trust with all my secrets then we start discussing crushes brings up his crush figures out its not me then he asks who do u like I proceeded to try to make up a person then I yell I like you you’re my best friend and I love you I’ve known him since I was 3 he didn’t care that I said that he excepted it never treats me differently but he has a girlfriend now and all you can do is stand by and watch him dance away with her then one day he tells you he’s in love with you and he breaks up with his girlfriend for you but now what we date what if there’s a nasty break up and I loose my best friend? Help?
hopeless romantic says:
I met a gorgeous woman mother of four. Became good friends now six months later I find myself catching feelings for her.I told her Im just hurting myself I cant see her no more she said be the man friend Ive always wanted only friends Im not attracted to you..Be my bff if you cant then its best you and me dont see each other so you dont get mislead..Its killing me because I love her…
H says:
I have loved this girl for 3 years on and off we had something at one point but she moved on and I couldn’t. This lasted for a good 1.5 years after she moved on but I couldn’t love anyone else. Recently I have started dating someone and I really do like them, but those same things still remind me of the girl I have loved for 3 years. Reading this it just all comes back. I really like the girl I’m dating, but I think I still love the other girl. The other girl and I still talk regularly but she doesn’t share any feelings ( I’m not even sure if I do). She is also dating someone and I think she is very happy. I don’t know what to do help.
Erin says:
I am 13 and I have known this one boy since I was eight. We have become great friends and we look out for each other. We have fun together and laugh. I know I seem young but I like him. I don’t know if the signs that I just told you are signs of love or great friendship. We text a lot too. I am the girl in the situation and I don’t know if I should say anything or not. We even cuddle lay together! Any advice?
Maratimis says:
As young as you are you guys seem like you have a passion, I was young like you and I still am! This stage of life is surely difficult and I respect because you’ve gone through it firmly. I know you may be nervous that would end the friendship. If you guys cuddled and surely have a bond together then you may already be in a relationship. Ask him if he loves you and tell him you love him so so so much. I doubt if he says no just ask if you can stay as friends.
VV says:
Well im young but im at that stage and i know he likes someone else and i rather let him be happy than ruining my relationship with him and even though ive been friends with him for 10 years but in the inside it makes me feel sad but i know i have to be strong for him but also i think its right to tell him or her how you feel even though its really risky
jo says:
i’m not sure about anything right now i think i’m in love with my best friend but he have a girlfriend i know he love’s her i mean i know him more then anyone that’s for sure. i don’t want to feel this way
Arden says:
Ok so I realized I was falling in love my best friend a few months ago.
Arden says:
When I realized I was falling in love with my guy best friend (I am a girl) I was so afraid because I didn’t actually want to hurt our friendship. He was the one person I could always talk to. A few weeks ago, I finally sat down with him and asked him straight up if he liked me. He said he did, and I also shared my feelings with him. Now, we are closer than ever and I know that sometimes things can actually work out.
AdventureGirl says:
I have a crush on my best ( guy ) friend and i’d really like him to know that. BUT I just can’t tell him, i wouldn’t be able to look at him or talk to him if i tell him. We always hug ( he even kissed me on my forehead when we were in a car once, i asked him why and he said ”Why not, we’re best friends” ) and even if we saw each other yesterday we would hug each other like we didnt see each other in a long time. But, we once talked about boyfriends and girlfriends and what would his girlfriend be like and it wasn’t a description near me, which is why, i am scared of telling him, scared of our friendship ending….i just don’t know what to do….. One day ago he met a boy and they don’t even know each other very good but when he was standing next to that boy, i tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around, i placed my hands in a position so he can or hug me or high five me but he suddenly turned around, ignored me and started talking about something to that boy. From the day he met that boy he always ignores me, and when that boy’s not there he still ignores me but a little less. He started only leaving a SEEN on my messages and i am scared of me not being his best friend anymore…. i just….have no idea what to do
Maratimis says:
See that’s the problem, when you wanna hang out with him and he keeps leaving you on read, then call him. I’ve called my best friend I like and it isn’t awkward we ended up watching videos as we talked. Talking through a screen sometimes makes you more secure that he won’t ignore you like he didn’t on that hug. No such thing as read on a phone unless he skips it. Call him every hour or day if he hasn’t responded to a single one. Have patience, patience may be the biggest solution wait till he will get out of this hype he has with friend who is a boy. Ask him to a restaurant do anything to find him in real life and talk to him like that.
Ash17 says:
I’ve started falling for one of my guy best friend from university. We’re in the same class.
He had been crushing over one of our classmates, but had to get over her since she already has someone in her life whom she deeply love. We’ve been each other’s confidant for more than a year now. When I’ve had crushes and my heart’s been crushed too, he has always been the one I’d turn to.
I’ve felt him throwing me hints that he wants to be more than friends, but the next moment, it feels like we’re “just friends”.
It’s been a few days since I went over to his dorm for a drink before class. We even talked about our “ex-flames”. We actually had more than a drink and were still sober before we decided to lay down on his bed a little bit. We even consented to skip class that day. I can’t remember when we got so close on bed and were cuddling (spoon & tangle). I don’t know what it really was, but my heart skipped a beat in his arms and I could feel his breath on my skin while he was sound asleep. One of my friend told me that my guy best friend was having trouble sleeping lately since it was the first time he was away from home and that instantly brought a smile on my face finding him sleeping on my shoulder. It was a first for both of us to lie down cuddling with someone. He said I’m a really “cool girl” and he also emphasized on him being single. As my emotions were getting high, I went to sit down on his desk chair and rested a little bit. He got up after a while to go to the loo and when he came back, he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to bed, his arm wrapped around my stomach and his head on my shoulder again. We spent 7 hours together and it was something magical for me. Before leaving his room, he added that “the day ended too soon”. I don’t know what to do. It’s getting hard for me to be around him and he’s always on my mind.
I’ve found him spending time with a girl now, and it’s really making my heart ache seeing him talk to another one.The girl actually tried to befriend me as well and while I was sitting alone, I’ve found her catching glances of me and I had a gut feeling they were talking about me. I’ve had a few heart aches before. I don’t want to drown in another situation where I’d find it hard to pull myself back together. What to do?
Sorry, I know it’s a really long text, but I did not know who to turn to…
Maratimis says:
Just do it ask him. You will never ever regret this. If he says no, then continue asking (not over and over) but over long periods of time. Good luck!
IT says:
so i am a 16 year old guy and i was always close to a girl(same age) since childhood. My close friend(a guy) has always had feelings for her. Over the past year, the girl and I have become very close and i think that i have feelings for her, but the problem is that she has developed feelings for my close friend. I dont know what to do
Karl says:
Sometimes I think that I shouldn’t let go my feeling for her, but this risk, it can destroy the friendship I have. Even it kills me
Every time that I need help, she’s there for me.
Every time that I’m sad, she’s there to make me happy.
Every time that I have problems, she’s there for me and we both solve it.
But what should I do,
Hide it, Let it go, or confess it?
Please help me
Maratimis says:
Just go for it! You guys obviously seem like you were mean for each other. In my eyes you guys act and look like you’re already in a relationship. Good luck!
Revixol says:
Well I (m) think I’m falling in love with one of my close friends (F) I have reconnected with. Those torment of emotions is hell. But I’m not sure if they are just the feelings of finally having a real friend. (I struggle with seasonal depression and I am very lonely, and it’s been a long time since someone’s made me feel like I belong as just myself not anything or just one part of me but all of me) so I don’t know if it’s just my messed up mind or if I really am falling in love or if this feeling I have is just the joy of having a friend. Any help is much appreciated.
Pablo says:
Yeah I’m deeply in love with my best friend.
I met her in my geometry class high school junior year. At first we never acknowledged each other since we didn’t even know each other by then we decided to be friends after a while.
Fun fact the very first thing she ever said to me was “do you have a pencil”.
Anyways reasons I fell for her not only is she the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met but she’s also nice, fun, caring and supportive. She sticks by me she doesn’t think I’m weird she respects my decisions and likes my interests. But mainly because she’s the first actual friend I’ve ever had sure there have been others but they were all fakes they used me, betrayed me, pretend like I and our friendship never existed but her she trul is my best friend and is still with me to this day and I love her so very very much for it.
K2L says:
I fell in love three times in total. Admittedly, the first and third times I kind of saw coming that the feelings were unrequited (the former already had a boyfriend, the latter explicitly told me I wasn’t her type), but this article explains what happened to the second time, and it was the one that hurted me the most. She was a really cheerful girl from a neighboring state of mine. We talked a lot via phone, sent beautiful rtext messages almost daily, and I even gave her chocolate gifts. As it turns out, she still only saw me as a friend, because she already had a boyfriend just like the first girl. I felt so heartbroken that, only three months later, I was honest with her and told her that our friendship was unable to survive for longer, because her feelings and mine were already seen to be incompatible. She was in turn very heartbroken over this, because she DID see a devout friend in me, but I think that it was the best for both of us to terminate the link between us so I didn’t have to cope with having to supress my true feelings towards her.
Love and friendship, in many cases, are unfortunately shown to be mutually exclusive, which is a sad irony when you see how often the negative feelings (especially anger, sadness and fear) go hand in hand.
After the end of 2008 (when the third girl rejected me), I haven’t since fallen in love with anyone. I have reached age 30 last month (Octuber), and seeing how gravely deteriorated the relationship between both sexes is nowadays, I think my time for the sentimental opportunities has passed.
Then again, with the irreveribly grave situation of my country, I have far bigger worries in my mind anyway…..
csjlololol says:
i got friend zone by my best frend.she say she only look at me as a very precious friend and best friend and thus i got friend zone.she also said that even if she like me she would not date me as she does not want to date at such an early age.after that we did not talk much.even after that day till now we did not really talk much.last time i use to talk to her freely now i can only talk to her via social media.For 1 reason,she was afraid that the classmates would tease her mock her as the class knew about my confession.they started mocking me and her.so moral of the story:never confess to your best friend in front of your friends and classmates.had to think about her feelings and not only yours.i tried to forget her as i really love her more than anything else.sometimes it better to hurt now then hurt more in the future.
MorganCourtenay says:
Excellent article. Useful research for my current story, but I think it has incredible potential in real life. God bless this author!
Brian Carter says:
Hey, i am in a very confusing situation now. I am a bisexual male, and i am fairly certain my friend is straight, but lately i have been wondering if he may have some romantic feelings for me. I always feel so awkard discussing this, but anyway i didnt try to, yet i have developed a huge crush on him, and its frustrating me. I know i shouldnt, but i constantly wonder if he feels the same way, is that cause there is something there, or because i want something to be there? I have noticed a few things we have been friends for almost 3 years, and we know just about everything about the other. When we are in a group setting i dont even have to say anything, or do anything, and if he isnt already looking my way ive caught him often turning his head to see me, and i can be silent never saying a word to draw his attention to me, and when he does look at me he will maintain the eye contact, of course i always get shy or nervous and look down or away at times, ive caught him looking at me so many times dozens if not hundreds of times thats no exaggeration either sometimes i wonder if we just have really good timing and always look at eachother at the same time, or if he is just always staring at me and i dont notice it beyond the countless times when we do lock eyes, hes been doing other stuff more lately once i messaged him upset and he brought me my favorite snack on his way home from work (we live in same apartment building), and hes done that a few times with the random treats about 4 so far that i can remember. Everytime we are together it is just constant laughter throughout 90% of the conversation, when i stay over his placw its never we leave early or i leave early its always until: 3, 4, or 5, even 6, to 7am real late staying up through the night. He gets visibly angry or upset if he thinks someone offended me or is burdensome to me. Sometimes id be almost asleep from being to tired and he would gently touch my neck, or something to wake me up but the way he does it feels so careful and a bit shy at same time. Its so many things, my gut instinct tells me he does but is either afraid of what it could mean or doesnt realize it yet, ive told him before that i like him, but i noticed he never said he didnt like me either just wondered if i was confusing friendship love with romantic love he wasnt mean about it, but again i got upset and he seemed really upset by how quickly i rushed away when i noticed or thought i made a mistake jn telling him. Whenever im upset he does seem to get visibly bothered by it, so much could be interpreted as friends, but again my gut instinct tells me he does love me. I dont know how to handle this, i can feel it when he is around he calms me down instantly, and i can sense a happiness i dont know if its my own but it feels like its coming from him cause im around i can actually sense it and it causes me to just grin and be really happy the whole time hes near. I am confused. I also wonder if he hasnt or wont tell me until hes certain how i feel cause he cant handle well staying friends after admitting having feelings like that.
Melinnda says:
I don’t know if you two have figured things out but if you haven’t I hope this helps. Liking a friend can be unbearable and even worse you don’t want to ruin a great thing like your friend ship but if he already knows you like him and doesn’t run away that could be a good sign and if you lock eyes that could definely be something I would try pushing it a little further but not to far like touching his hand and see how he reacts don’t do it in public though you don’t want to embaress him it can be very hard especially for guys to even admit they’re gay or bi espescially to the world when they’re still trying to figure it out for themselves just be careful because if they experiment and decide that’s not who they are it could end the friendship
Kit says:
Hey im really late in this conversation but I have a big problem. Im dating on of my best friends and I have feelings for him too, but I also have feelings for another one of my other best friends. it would also be eaiser to keep the second relationship with her secret becuase i could say we were just two girls haning out. owver I don’t even think shes bi, lesbian. pan…. ect. so
Melinnda says:
I can relate to you first of all you never want to try to work two relationships at the same time it will blow up in your face and then you’ll be out of two relationships and your reputation will be ruined also so if you really like this girl you can try asking her innocently questions that might help you figure her dating preferences or if she is at least curious but if she is totally grossed out then you will know to just back off
Zarah says:
I am in a similar kind of situation. I had a guy best friend who understood me and we shared all our problems. We were quite close but we used to talk through texting usually and not in reality, though we both were in the same school. He was very caring and used to get jealous when he saw me with any other guy. I had feelings for him but had never confessed. I started ignoring him at school. We talked normally through texting but at school I couldn’t face him because my feelings were getting stronger. He asked me plenty of times the reason for I was ignoring him but everytime I gave some lame excuse or told him that I won’t do it again but then I went through the same feelings again. We tried to put things back to normal but couldn’t. He thought that I wasn’t comfortable with him or maybe his presence irritates me. He stepped back. Even though I almost begged infront of him to return but he didn’t return and now I have started blaming myself for all that happened. The worst part is that I sometimes feel like he still wants me back but everytime I try to talk to him he’s very rude and then I feel like I meant nothing to him though I know he gave me alot of importance.
Anon says:
I have been good friends with this girl for about 3 years now. I have developed pretty deep feelings for her. The problem is, it is definitely one-way. I feel that I truly love her. Everything in this article, as well as the “How To Know It’s Really Love.” article applies to me, but I know she doesn’t feel the same way about me. She has a boyfriend who doesn’t treat her well, and she is sort-of in love with one of our other friends, who also doesn’t treat her like a long term partner should, even though he also claims to be in love with her (he doesn’t know about my feelings). Watching this kills me inside, but I can’t do anything about it. It would be very wrong to interfere in her current relationship, even if it isn’t healthy, plus I am terrified of loosing her as a friend. Since the situation is so complicated, I know I really need to move on, but I don’t know how. I need help. Any thoughts?
Leela says:
See my situation is different… I know this one guy for thirteen years – we’ve practically grown up together. I think of him as the bestest(ik it’s not a word) friend I’ve ever had but the shifty thing is that I don’t think he thinks of me as anything more than a neighbour. Sometimes I think I’m crushing on him and he’s the best thing that’s happened to me but most other times Im kinda pissed at him for not noticing how much he means to me. I haven’t spoken to him about it and I honestly don’t want to because it’ll just make it verrrryyyyyy weird. So any advice for me?
Emily says:
I’m going through the same thing and I don’t know what to do. I mean all of my friends are saying were going to hook up after high school and end up getting married bc we were “made for each other” but I really don’t want to tell him that I’m crazy about him.
Ibrahim says:
Recently, i have told my best girl friend that I’m in love with her knowing that she loves one of my friends. She took it really well tbh and i was surprised to see her handle it like this, i thought that i would lose my friendship with her but i didn’t. The problem isn’t here, the problem is everything i do is being explained to her that i did it because i love her, even though i don’t flirt or all that but I’ve always cared about her alot, and i can’t seem to find an escape routes from all this hurt I’m going through but also at the same time i don’t want to lose our friendship, it means the world to me. And i keep asking myself the same questions over and over again, will she ever see me more than her brother ? Will she ever fall for me ? And i guess those things can ruin it and i don’t know what to do….. i need help, i don’t want to lose her.
Emily says:
I am really good friends with this boy and I have been for at least five-six years now, we go to the same school and have had classes together every year, hes also my neighbor and his little sister is one of my best friends. I’ve had feelings for him this whole time but recently they’ve gotten a lot stronger and based on everything I’ve read and what all of my friends have told me, I’m pretty much in love with him. He knows I had a crush on him up until last year but he doesn’t know I still do and I don’t know if he likes me or not. Neither of us are really ready for a relationship so I’m not going to act on it but I don’t know if I should tell him I’m crazy about him. I don’t want to take a chance of doing anything to harm our friendship or create an awkward tension between us but it’s been killing me not knowing if he likes me or if he knows I like him. All of my friend’s say I should tell him but I’m not sure. Some help/advice would be much needed.
Jazzy cardinal says:
The same thing is kinda happening with me and my bestfriend we have been best friends since elementary school and when I met him yea I had a tiny crush on him but then we became friends and it disappeared but over the years we hangout talk as usual but I started getting butterflies when ever I seen or talked to him it was small at first but now somethings different I can’t go out on dates I can’t talk to other guys romantically I started dating this one guy and it didn’t work out because I had feelings for someone else but I didn’t know who it is until I met up with My bestfriend and we talk I looked into his eyes and I realized. I am in love with him I don’t want any other guy in the world I want him and idk what happened but the way we act and talk it feels like we are dating already like we belong together I guess but idk I don’t really understand it at all. All I know is I love him and that’s it
Pajamaparty says:
I am going to be blunt here. The Friend Zone is a bunch of bull. It cheats us out of potential great relationships and men and women cannot have prolonged best friend relationships for very long without one person falling in love because it isn’t natural for men and women just to be friends. If you are developing feelings you have two options. Tell them and run the risk of losing the friendship because it can never be the same after that (though they may have feelings as well) and then you may have to distance yourself for awhile or sit back in silence and never tell them and everytime they talk about a boyfriend/girlfriend it cause you pain or every time you want to hold their hand it destroy you. Also if they are seeing someone else actually that isn’t cool either because it is doing a disservice to the relationship they are in.
GADS says:
I have to tend to agree. Pajamaparty. Only because I met someone who I felt I was supposed to be with. In the beginning he seemed attracted but then he was already with someone. We became instantly close. He trusted me with everything. He allowed himself to be vulnerable with me. I had to stay distant because he was wrestling with the girlfriend who he ended up breaking up with.
We’ve been living together for over 2 years nows as close friends. And while we’ve had our fights and ups and downs, we’ve always preferred each other’s company. He tells me I’m his best friend and that he completely trust me. Because of that, I’ve never told him how I felt. I felt it would be a violation of that trust.ut its unbelievably painful.
I think our culture is a little screwed up. Sometimes people don’t recognize friendships as being the actual precursor to love. We all have such romanticized versions of what we think love is. We separate sex and friendship. Yet those who don’t, end up with some of the most rewarding and wonderful long-term relationships. Are we so desperate for deep friendships that we avoid moving such a deep and wonderful relationship naturally to the next level for fear of losing that deep friendship? Instead we choose to waste a lot of time investing our hearts and bodies in people that we cannot trust on such a deep level?
I feel that my best friend is such a person. I’ve seen him pursue other girls only to have his heart broken and him coming back to us.
I think the most heartbreaking part of this is when you are capable of developing such a deep friendship and trust with a person and are capable of moving naturally to the next level…., and the other person can’t. All my life this is happened to me. I have felt deeply towards someone and they did not appear to reciprocate. I was able to become a deep friend and heal my broken heart. At that point, usually the person falls in love with me. But at that point, I’ve already gone through the grieving process and it moved past it.
Jodie says:
What if I’m a girl and I love my best friend so much, I always want them to be happy and safe and it’s so intense not like the love for my other friends and she is a girl too, she doesn’t know I’m lesbian because I’m not sure about it yet, but I will talk to her about it because we tell eachother absolutely everything but I’m too afraid that she will be shocked and she will be freaked out but I don’t know if it’s the same the other end, please send help
Zoe says:
I am kind of going through the same thing. My friend knows I’m bi and I know that she likes girls too, but I don’t think she’ll ever have a crush on me. Every time I muster up the courage to tell her, I don’t end up doing it. So, if I were you, try to figure out if you are a lesbian or at least if you are attracted to other girls before you tell her. I know I might be too late or not, but I still wanted to show you that there is someone else out there in the same situation and someone else out there who is rooting for you, if you do end up wanting a relationship with her.
To tell you something about my story: When I was 13, I started feeling a weird attraction for girls and I kept pushing it farther and farther away until one of my best friends came out to me as pansexual. As soon as she told me, I started feeling a bit more open about it, but I have only told my friends now, at 16. So, for the past 3 years, I have been secretly in love with my best friend and only now does she even know I swing that way. I’m still trying to figure out whether I even like her that way or not, but I’m always jealous about everything even if she doesn’t have an S.o. and my heart always beats faster when she’s around, and she always is. So, try to figure out if you are attracted to girls and then try to figure out if you even like her. I know it’s a hard process, but try your best because it could result in a great relationship or stay an amazing friendship.
I hope this may have helped you a little. Good luck!
Rayshaunr20 says:
I’m going through the same but I’m a guy I’m in love with my best friend but I don’t want to tell her I got a gf and all but feelings are just still there for her I’m just thinking about her day and night always wanna keep her safe and happy I love when she laughs and I love to see a smile on her face and wen she cry I just wanna do the same cuz she crying
Ezra Hosea says:
Hi this platform is realy helpful and as well amazing i just opened up to my best friend i’m in love wit her but she is
Marco says:
I am going through the exact same thing right now. I have been in love with her since we first made eye contact. I have tried to keep it to myself, but somehow I just know in my heart that we could be something amazing. We have both had numerous boyfriends and girlfriends in the 15 years we have know each other. It got to to the point where I had to stop talking to them because it was too hard on me. We have recently started talking to each other again these last couple weeks after 5 years of no communication. All my old feelings for her have returned just like that. I had tried to move on with my life and picture a life without her, but I failed miserably. I am just so lost. I don’t want to lose her again. I just feel so strongly and know in my heart that we would be perfect for each other and she is the only woman I can ever picture myself with. What do I do?
anonymous says:
GO GET HER!!! say your feelings to her.
Maybe she has the same feelings for u, but she is afraid it might ruin ur guys friendship
Naomi says:
I’m stuck! I really like this guy who’s my best best friend. I made a mistake by trying to distance myself with him and get over him by getting him in with another girl. I regret that because now I am just jealous. I feel like he is my match and I am his. It’s only that I cannot tell him because I fear that if things go wrong, our friendship will not be the same knowing that I will still be stuck with him for a couple years if he doesn’t feel the same. Sometimes I get romantic vibes as if he likes me back, that’s when I go home and uncontrollably smile and reread and rewatch messages and videos. But sometimes I get a different feeling. He doesn’t friendzone me, saying that I’m his friend. Somehow it’s me saying it and I’m not sure why. I always say that he’s my best friend and he replies with same w u. But he never starts the saying. I guess it’s just me begging for attention from him. We get into fights, but they are really stupid like I’m angry because u don’t care about me. He started that one. He can always tell when I’m off and feeling sad, he says I’m here for you and that. It’s really cute. I really like him for him, not just looks. when he says comforting things, it’s really nice. But I’m not sure if it’s romance or just normal friendship acts. To get attention, I act sad or angry just so he noticed and asked why. Looking back it’s really cute. I really like him, a lot. But I am way way way too scared to tell him my true feelings. I don’t want to tell him and make him like me back, for the sake of me liking him. I want him to notice me for me just as I do for him. I ALWAYS think of him, ALWAYS. I’ve tried getting over him but it is very hard considering that I see him nearly everyday. Someone please help!
Luigi Paula says:
You should tell him because you are hurting yourself to continue seeing him while knowing that you feel something for him. You are friends, be honest with him and with yourself. Don’t bother how he will react that is whether he will accept or reject your feelings (you’ll see by yourself you won’t be hurt)…the main purpose in telling him is to remove that burden off of you. You will feel much more refreshed and your bonds will become “healthier”.
Marc Pena says:
you should let the person know how you feel cause if you don’t you will be hurting for the rest of time. either you stand up and walk away or clearly tell him how you feel so he know how much he is hurting you and he will decided your friendship faith. I been in love with my best friend for 2 year but we been friends for 10 years I never realize that i love her until we have reach our five year mark. I tried my best to push my feeling by going out with other women and it doesn’t matter cause my heart keep saying they not the right one. So i told my best friend how i feel and she got confuse cause she had same feeling but same time she scared to act on it cause if it doesn’t work we might lose what we have. I just want to tell you that i made a choice to leave cause i cant bear to keep her by my side and be hurt cause i love her to much. Now i am trying to find myself.
my only advice is to tell them rather than being hurt.
Reza says:
Hey Naomi,
I’m a guy and I’ve experienced love with my best female friend and I told her but she didn’t feel the same and things got a little awkward but luckily she is a really understanding person and things got right after that,whatever…The thing I’m trying to say is that I’ve never regretted telling her my feelings for a sec.
look whit not telling him you will ruin yourself and you’ll never know what would happen and you will kill yourself with “what if”s.
and how do you know,maybe he is also in love with you and he is scared to tell it either,and if you don’t tell him you’ll both miss sharing a heaven of true love with each other and that’s a big big cruelty to him an yourself.
So,being honest,at least in these situations,is the best I guess!
Wish you love:)
Rachel says:
That sounds exactly like my situation w my best friend. I asked him and he had liked me for as long as I liked him. I really think you should go for it
aaashi says:
i have a similiar stoey. though i am trying to figure it out. but i know it , even if i spend my time thinking that i dont like my best friend, the second i look in his eyes … i just know..
Bob says:
My best friend is a bisexual male (I’m a bisexual girl) within my league. He’s the only person I can talk to, and we know each other completely. He’s the only thing between me and a slit down both wrists. He knows this, too. But he just sees us as great friends. He tells me his crushes, and they’re not right. We have the exact same personality type (INFP) and they would break his heart. But I can’t tell him I would be right, as he’s the only person who has the full picture. If I lost that I’d be gone in a heartbeat. So…yeah. There’s that.
Noah Hegberg says:
It’s the same with my situation. When she starts with someone I know they are not right for her and I want to tell her that I would be better for her. However, I know that I cannot do this, and it hurts.
Rachel (not bob, but the same human) says:
We started dating last week. I’m quieter than he is and he’s pretty clingy but I’m ok with that.
From a female perspective I’m sure your friend would be ok if you at least proposed the idea of dating. It seems like you could drive yourself crazy if you never at least try. Good luck.
Gecko says:
I have a crush on my best friend and I have for a while so at this point my feelings are really strong and sometimes its easier for me to just act as a friend and sometimes I don’t think I hide it that well. I really do think he likes me back, but sometimes it seems obvious and other times I’m not sure at all. The other problem is I am 17 and he is 20 and out of high school so even if he likes me back he won’t tell me til I graduate because he is a super respectful, caring guy. Do you think that he’s willing to wait for me to be ready or do you think he’ll just move on?
Shubhradeep says:
If he really likes u, he will definitely wait and meanwhile atleast u will be in contact with him right
stacy says:
well I believe that I have truly fell in love with my best friend who was also my high school sweetheart.her and I talk about everything. we have even told each other about our feelings but she is currently going through a divorce and myself. well I’m married and have 4 people that depends on me. neither of us has kids either. I’m not sure what to do. we have been friends for nearly 10 years
ashish says:
i am crushing over my best friend from 3 years now. Between this span i had 2 crushes. But I cannot come over that feeling i have for her. It is like let anyone come , she is the only one i am going to love. And she loves me but as a friend , a best friend. she went into a relationship a year ago. i tried to keep things simple and as usual they used to be . But i couldn’t control and i started to maintain distance . i avoided her. she is a bit self respect holding girl she stopped texting , she knew i cant much longer without her. and finally after a 3 month long fight i went to her and she cried. she said that she never cried for any friend before. “i will break your teeth if you do this again” she said. everything became good but that feeling of her being in relationship ate me from inside a lot. but after that day i decided to back her what made her happy. what eventually important for me was her to be happy then whether she was with me or with me or someone else.
i am a very shy guy when it comes to proposing or something like that. and moreover that i don
‘t want to lose her. because she is a very big part of my life. i am just having good friendship with her and waiting for right time,
hope it comes soon.
Liam says:
Same except I have known her for 10 years and I feel like I need her every second of every day
Liam says:
I have been in love with my best friend for 5 years and I have had three gf but with every one I think about her constantly and I can’t get over it and I always open up to her I always trust her and we have our ups and downs but we get over with it in like 15 minutes I don’t know what to do plz help
Liam says:
I am also very shy guy
Liam says:
And I don’t want to lose her because we have known each other since we were 3
unkown says:
hmm hey it’s okay to be scared but maybe you should confess slowly and not kinda blow it into her face
Noah Hegberg says:
She was a small crush I had in the middle and jr high school years. It wasn’t until beginning of high school (sophomore year) I became real friends with her. Over the past years I’ve gotten really close to her and we have become equally great best friends. I helped her out of an old toxic relationship. I feel that deep down I have always had these feelings for her, but I always push them away. Or try and hide them so that they do not interfere with our friendship. She’s had a few partners here and there and now she has a girlfriend. I want to be her person so bad, but unfortunately I don’t think that’ll ever happen for me. No one knows just how badly I want to express my feelings to her and have her smile back with tears forming telling me she feels the same way. I know this won’t happen and that I am in fact a hopeless romantic for her. Ever since I started to admit my true feelings for her to myself I haven’t really had any desire to pursue any other girl. It just doesn’t feel the same, none of them are my person like I want her to be. I just wish for things to go my way, I just want a chance. The other thing is that I’m also not entirely sure I have a strong physical attraction to her. This causes me to second guess my feelings as well, being wary that the love I feel may simply be friendship? Then again I am truly the happiest and most at peace being with her. I also love being with her and her family, it’s so enjoyable to me. Maybe I’ll update this page if something ever happens..
nakeisha says:
aww that sounds rlly cute. i’ve known my best friend for just quite a while 2-3 years. and just recently i find him v attractive HAHAH. but mb it’s not rlly romantic love as what you have. but i rlly hope that you and the girl will get together!!! wish you all the best :))
unknown says:
I have know my best friend for over 14 years now and I have like him more than that. He thinks of us a cousins and all my friends and family think we should get together and I’m not sure if he returns my feelings because i don’t want to be rejected i know that he would do anything for me but i don’t know if its just as friends or not.
Cristina says:
I’ve known my best friend for 4 years now. We do EVERYTHING together. I have keys to his house. I sleep over several times a week. He doesn’t buy anything without me. He refers to everything in his house as “our”. All our friends think we are together. He invites me to parties with his colleagues and high school friends. He hosts parties for my parents. 2 months ago we started sleeping together. Now the problem… he is 12 years younger than me. He suffers from a type of depression and fears too much of something good. He has clearly told me he doesn’t want a girlfriend and if he did it wouldn’t be me because he prefers having me as a best friend. I know he loves me but I fear it’s not the same way I love him. Or that he is terrified of losing me if we are officially together. He boycotts himself, we’ve talked about this. He says he doesn’t want romance but he cuddles me all night in bed and I am in his dreams most nights. He knows everything about me. He buys Skittles and takes out all the green that I don’t like.
I am completely happy with him, but I will lose him. He will one day want a girlfriend and it won’t be me. I don’t know if I should leave. But it sounds stupid to leave him just because he one day will leave me.
Rachelle says:
I’m in love with my friend. We’ve been friends for about 6 years, close the last year. I’m in a relationship and have been for 3 years, and find myself constantly wanting to be with my friend. He too is in a relationship that has been on and off for the last couple of years. Sometimes I feel like he has feelings for me, but he is always hung up on his current partner and their troubles. We’ve slept together on 3 occasions and each time we said it would never happen again but it always does. I can’t tell him how I really feel as I want him in my life and am willing to sit back and pretend not to be in love with him to save our friendship. When we are together I’m smiling, I’m laughing, I’m so happy. We enjoy each other’s company and are very flirty, but I don’t think he will want an actual relationship as he loves his partner, as tricky as their situation is. Love sucks.
Lauren says:
I had a crush on a friend well I’m not friends with him anymore he started putting his girlfriend first all the time and it got to the point where I couldn’t be his friend anymore he wasn’t a good friend to me for a year and a half actually so really it’s good I’m not his friend anymore that just goes to show that there’s nothing good about being just friends with your crush you guys don’t have to tolerate it anymore you do have a choice you don’t owe anyone friendship ladies you don’t owe a man anything especially friendship I’ve learned that just because a guy wants to be friends doesn’t mean it’s going to happen sometimes a person can do the best they can and it’s still not good enough
Savvy says:
I think I’m falling in love with my best friend….we started out dating and it kinda went wonky..nothing awful, we just had a disagreement very early on that led us both to think that maybe we couldnt do a relationship. But we did truely enjoy each others company. We took some time apart and then we have really given this friends thing a real go. And it has been amazing. We always talk, work together, help each other..at times we cuddle or occassionaly have sex…which is awesome..I’ve just recently begun to admit to myself though that I’m falling in love with him…and it’s breaking my heart inside. I do my best to not show it and stay strong, but I feel it becoming stronger..and it scares me…
Savvy says:
Welll…i talked with him about it…and he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me, could even see himself marrying me, but he wont be with me. Overly summarized, but thats the gist of it. I kind of knew he didnt really want me. But hearing it hurts so bad. My heart is just breaking. He would be okay with fwb but he kept giving me reasons why we wldnt be good together, i think he was just being kind and didnt want to tell me outright no. My heart literally hurts. I didnt realize it would hurt this bad…i wish i knew what was wrong with me..
Maria says:
So I have a best friend and we have been friends for a long time now and we both had minor crushes on each other while we were friends but we got over them quick because we didn’t think much of it. Over the course of our friendship, we had gotten super close more than what we are already. A couple months ago we were both talking to other people and only I made a relationship with that person I was talking to. He later confessed that he had feelings for me once I had gotten into my relationship and I low key had some for him too. My best friends still continue to talk to other girls but he can´t seem to find any interest in them. Today I still have my boyfriend and He has someone too but it’s not serious like I said he can´t seem to find interest in them. What should we do?
David Hong says:
I’ve had a best friend for a while now. We started being friends back in middle school, but I did not have any feelings for her and I don’t think she did either. We didn’t really talk that much in high school, because we went to different schools and we were both busy. She also didn’t hit me up because she thought I was too busy having fun with my other friends. My senior year she hits me up out of no where saying we should hang out. We hung out and it was with some old friends and had a great time. To be honest after that I thought we wouldn’t really hang out. But she called me asking if she can come over. After that we kept hanging out everyday for a few months. I still didn’t really have feelings for her because she was in a relationship and I just straight out thought we were better as friends. But she openly admitted to having a crush on me. I did kind of catch feelings at this point so I said I kinda had a crush on her too. We waited it out. Then eventually things got sexually tense. I was a virgin and she had some experience. At first I didn’t even want to cuddle but we ended up cuddling. Then eventually we did oral sex. After that things kept developing, but she said she doesn’t want to date me now, because she’s scared of it ending. But she dated this guy right after and slept with guys. So it leads me to believe she doesn’t like me even though she kissed me while she was in a relationship and got jealous anytime I would even mention another girl. So I was very hurt and confused. Fast forward I open up again and I told her I was in love with her which I am. She said unless you wanna have a chance at ruining our future I think we shouldn’t date. She said she doesn’t know if she’ll end up with me. Which leads me to believe she still has slight feelings. She’s scared that if we breakup we won’t have anything and she will lose me. Before, she said that I was her soulmate and she doesn’t see herself with anyone else, and then she goes and has sex with other guys and tells me she still has feelings. So I think it’s complete bs. Anyway we would talk about seeing our future together and being with each other but idk. I’m basically stuck here still in love with her and I can’t get over it. I told her to tell me if she doesn’t have feelings for me straight up. She’s very blunt and she said “it’s not that.” So all my friends still thinks she has feelings for me. Idk what to do.
Martin says:
My best mate fell in love with me and in time I fell in love with her only thing is now the relationship didn’t work out as we are work colleagues also I love my mate so much and we had the best friendship ever and now I feel as if I’m gonna lose a partner and a beat mate now all in one sometimes it’s not worth it I think
Aarti ghaulaut says:
My best frnd have feelings for me but I don’t .Even I told him many times but he always try to show in a direct or indirect way and somewhere it make me feel guilt myself. I also don’t want to loose a frnd like him. What I do ?????
Mohit kulshereshtha says:
Hii..I understand your feelings how you feel at that time….clear rejection is better than a fake response…it hurts him for a while but it’s better for him for a long time…if he really afterwards wants to continue his friendship it’s good… otherwise you doing good but if you really 1% can think about him by considering his feelings if he really truly loves you then it’s also a better option by doing this you can save him from hurting….
i need helppp says:
I need help I have a bestfriend and we are really close, we talk every time we get to but I’ve fallen for him. I know that he doesn’t feel the same for me but last night he said he wanted to pull a prank on the school (we are in middle school). so he suggested that we pretend to date for a week I don’t think that someone who only sees you as a bestfriend comes up with a plan like that or am I just letting my feelings get the better of me.
Soraya says:
My best friend and I haven’t known each other that long but we had an instant connection. We talk every single day and he is always calling me cute and always complimenting me. I dont known if it is just him being sweet or if he is starting to like me. I don’t know if i like him back though. I think I do but i’m still unsure. What should I do?
Sandy says:
I have a best friend that found me after 30 years and I thought that because he had a girlfriend and we started out talking about life and my divorce we became very close and started sleeping together. That was a mistake I found myself falling in love with him. It’s hard to become friends with your best friend if you love him like him. He cares about me but dont feel the same way and I understand that. I am trying to let go of him our friendship and he wants to continue it.
CJ says:
Me and my best friend had a fight and we now don’t talk anymore, I’ve seen a number of psychics to ask about the friendship and they all tell me he left because he fell in love with me and he thinks that by not speaking that the feelings will disappear. And because I liked another guy that caused him pain and pushed him further knowing I wanted someone else. But since he walked out I realised I love him too, I’d pick him over anyone else. But I still doubt if he does love me, what if they are wrong. Help please.
Naina says:
Me and my best friend love each other he even confessed that to me but then we both are not ready to accept this cause casual relationships usually end up breaking. We fear that one day we may lose interest if we get in a relationship and I just don’t want to lose him ever.
Catherine says:
I’m filling in love with my friend and we use to call each other every day ,but after we kiss and spend the night together without having sex ,we are not talking like before or calling each other and I’m so worried about everything , because I’m filling in love with him please I really need help
Joseph says:
I’m sooo in love with my bestfriend and she thinks I’m
Kidding and honestly I love every second with her and I wish she would be mine but idk anymore cause if I lose her then I’ll probably end up back in the same position again with me laying in my bed sooo depressed because I just lost my bestfriend and that would kill me honeslty to the point were I’m suicidal again
Marc says:
I have a female bestfriend who I love and care for very much and would literally do anything for I would die for her who I have been bestfriend for over a year it feels like I’ve known her all my life. We used to hang out and talk on the phone everyday but that has kinda drifted a little bit since she got with her controlling fiance even tho they have been with each other for 3 month, which I’m very worried about her because of her bf anyway We do try and meet up with each other once or twice a month and talk on the phone much as we can and it depresses me that we cant hang out as much as we used to.Thing is I’m in love with this girl and I would love to be with her but I can’t admit it to her because I’m very scared of losing her or she doesn’t want to admit she has feeling for me either I don’t know what to do I need some help
sammy says:
me and my friend fell in love with each
other but the romantic relationship only
lasted months then she told me we
should just be friends though i didn’t
like the idea but i still value her so
much so now we are friends again but i
still love her and the memories of the
love we shared still storm mind i still
love her but i don’t know what to do
anonymous beautiful says:
Hey i just read all of the stuff that this site has to say and i am really young but i feel as if i might’ve met the person for me. She is literally one of the best people i have ever met and i want her to be mine and i wanna love her more than she already knows. i already told her that i want something more with her but she’s so perfect and people keep getting in the way. i really want this to work out with this girl because even though i only known her for the past year i feel as if i spent all my life with her and i want to spend the rest of my life with her. i talked to her about it and i spoke as if i didn’t have a chance because ill be honest im not the best looking guy she could pick out of all of the guys that want her. but out of all the guys i know her the most and i feel like i could love her more than any of these guys that want her. she is also moving away and she speaks as if im going to let her go and as if we wont be bestfriends anymore but i would do anything for her but i really dont want to ruin this friendship with my feelings. someone please give me advice because i really dont want to lose this girl because she is something else.
Gerald says:
Hey anonymous beautiful, I recently turned 27 and i have had this happen a number of times. The last time it happened i messed it by insisting to hop from utter friendship which was bliss to romantic. What i learned is to keep being who you are,live the bible without comparison and let life be life, ask God for her and listen to what He says
Confused Romantic??? says:
I have something similar, I’m in high school myself and I’ve met a boy who I’m neighbors with at our campsite. (more of an RV park in summer) We’ve known each other for four years now. We always text each other good morning and goodnight, We talk about our days to each other and he listens to all my problems. Including guy problems. we rarely see each other in winter unless there is a camp get-together. Otherwise, I only see him in the summer. One year we shared our birthday, His Birthday is the 13th and mine on the 10th of August. We have super deep meaning full conversations. I can tell him everything. His family and mine are really close and his mom loves me. sometimes our parents do bug us about dating when we were younger. Now that I’m coming of “dating age” They don’t bring it up anymore. I find myself talking about him to my friends, and he is everything I want in a guy. He’s a little old school which is hard to find in millennial’s nowadays, he is an aviator and converse shoes kinda guy and I am that type of girl. We have a lot of common interest and I always do everything with him in the summer. His mom even said he doesn’t sleep in till 2pm anymore since I arrived. I would so easily be able to fit in with his family. At a party the other day I found my self leaning on his shoulder. I’ve never made advances to him before. I was scared and quickly went home. we got our drivers together and he cancels plans with his friends to talk to me. I take quizzes and watch videos all the time about crushes and love things. I feel maybe he likes me? Some times I get a text like ‘ hey I have a question’ and when I ask he says never mind? I’m a little old fashioned myself and I think the guy should make the first move but, I talk about my guy problems with him so what if he thinks I’m just a friend? If we dated and ever broke up then what? we are camp neighbors I’ve been going here for years. We never have arguments and I can’t find a reason for us to ever break up. That scares me too. I know this relationship would last forever maybe even marriage but its a huge commitment. I’m scared that once I’m in I can’t get out. Then BAM Bye bye single life and experiments like, finding my type and girly stuff like that. It’s him and him forever and I’m scared for that commitment. We’ve never told each together these feelings but I’m pretty sure he feels similar about liking me in a way or maybe I’m just bad at reading him? (Doubt it though) “looks don’t matter you’re just shallow” but I don’t want a guy shorter than me, plus he and his dad at his age have no differences they are identical I’m not joking.(I follow his whole family and his mom is the kind that is in everything if I date him I’m dating her too kinda thing ) Plus he broke his nose as a kid so its a little weird, I always find myself trying to focus on ‘Negatives’ and talk about other guys around him to push him away. Now I’m not sure what I want because I am scared that I’ll get what I want, Things will go south and my summer life ruined. It took me literally till now to accept the fact that I like this guy and its still hard to believe I don’t want to wreck everything but I do want to go further but I’m also scared I’m going to get stuck no way I could ever break it off with him, would he with me? I think I mostly just have trust issues but I’m not sure just a confused teenager I guess…
Florence says:
Amazing read!
sammy says:
i had a best friend who we fell in love with each other and we dated for two months then went on campus holidays for one month wen we met again in school she told me end of our love and that we are only friends and nothing more but surprisingly everything of falling apart we just not picking up we have nothing to talk our contact and closeness is dying out i don’t know what to do i don’t like this ….en the worst is i am in love with her and that’s the last thong she would want to hear from me…i stressed
Lavende says:
i also have a best friend and i really like him. it seem i the one whos only inlove. BUT I can’t lie it madly attracted to him.
Anonymous says:
So I really like my boyfriend but I’ve known my best friend longer and tomorrow’s mine and my boyfriends one month and I just found out that my best friend (crush) was to shy to tell me that he liked me bc he didn’t know I liked him what do I do I love them both and I don’t want to lose them
Alessia says:
I was in the same situation, and my best friend (other one) tried to help me out by giving me some advice. It really helped me so I am going to give it to you.
She simply said: If you are head over heels for your boyfriend, why did you even fall for someone else?
Idk if it helps, but it did for me…
Alis volat propriis says:
I secretly love my “best friend” if that what he think he is in my life. I am afraid to tell the truth. I fear of losing him if I tell him that (and I might lose myself too). We constantly check on each other, every morning, every night, what we’re doing.. We even had our tattoo together, he held my hand as it was my first time. I’m so confused. Oftentimes I feel his love but sometimes I feel that he only sees me as his “friend”. He says that he’s my “shock absorber” when I’m down but actually he’s not, he’s my remedy he just didn’t know. Many times I’ve tried to tell him, but I end up having fear that he’ll reject me but if I don’t, I might lose him forever if he find someone else. It breaks my heart. I’m in love but I’m also falling apart. I don’t know how far I could keep this.
N. H says:
Well. This exactly what i’m feeling right now. I’ve tried multiple times to tell her but failed but keeping this in heart is also very difficult. I beleive I will tell her in the near future because if she don’t have feelings for me she will marry another guy and I’ll lose her forever but what if she had feelings for me as well and she starts thinking about me. I know there is a little chance but at least I’ll not feel guilty of not expressing my feelings for her because that guilt would be more gut-wretching than the present.
Love26 says:
Wow. You are not alone.. I feel the same way and I honestly don’t know if I should tell him or not.. But I dont want to be in a romantic relationship but just feel less guilty wanting to be with him&wanting to talk all the time. I dont want to change our relationship now but this unknown/curiosity kills me inside. Should I tell him how I feel? Maybe he is confused too? I am expert at hiding my feelings and maybe he is too?
光听 says:
So many people feel exactly like me. However I chose to tell her what I felt like… So we’ve been best friends for many years. And I’m so happy to have her as my friend. About two years ago it started changing. I started getting feelings for her. At first I just thought I had to get over it. But later a realized it was impossible. At the same time she had a boyfriend back then, and I really didn’t want to ruin anything between them because she seemed so happy with him. Anyways they broke up. Still I didn’t tell her. I guess it still felt a bit weird to me, even tho I thought about her all the time. So time went by, both of our lifes changed. She moved to another country 5 months ago, and I did the same a month ago. Both of us would return home next summer. I felt like it would be pointless to tell her back then because both of us were abroad, so even if she felt something for me we would be so far away from each other. I planned to just give this country a try, see if my feelings would change during my stay. If not then tell her about this in the summer when both of us got back home. However, a month ago right before leaving, I went to visit her. She told she had gotten a new boyfriend in that country. I was devastated. And really felt like I needed to do something. So I told her. I told her I really had some feelings for her. As expected she didn’t feel anything towards me. I decided to cut her off while I went abroad. To get over her. Try to move on with my life. But she’s my best friend. And thankfully she was so understanding/supportive when I told her about it. And what I planned to do. And if your friend really cares about you they’ll understand. They don’t wanna loose their best friend either. In the end I really hope I’ll get over this and we at least can be friends again, Because I really don’t wanna live without her, she really means alot to me.
(Oh yea btw, I haven’t talked to her for a month so far. I feel terrible, still thinking about her every day, I feel so lonely, I feel like I have noone to talk to, I used to talk about such shit with her. And knowing she’s happy out there with someone else is terrible.) This is way harder than expected. But whatever, hopefully everything will work out in the end. Even though I kinda regret telling her and cutting her off, I really feel like you should tell your best friend how you feel. Your feelings won’t go away. Do it before it’s too late.
Adam Paul says:
It’s a Wonderful Feeling. I guess I could add that a true friend will never hurt your feelings intentionally. This is so helpful and TRUE! So thanks for sharing it with us.
nervous friend says:
there’s this boy and we have been friends for about 3-4 months and when we first became friends he had a gf but they broke up,, before they started dating he liked me but i kinda rejected him bc i had feelings for someone else. but now me and him are best friends and i really like him like i can see me having a future with him getting married and everything. i just dont know if i should tell her now or wait, because i dont wanna mess up our friendship because me and him was there for each other during dark times.
Anonymous says:
This is currently happening to me right now. My guy best friend and I have been friends since the beginning of high school. We are both freshmen in college now, and our friendship hasn’t changed. I go to school in CA, and he goes to school in NY. Every time we go back home, I always somehow develop feelings again. I just don’t get it. During high school, my friends always told me that he liked me, but I did not think much of it. I was not even sure it was true. Now that we are both in college, I somehow have garnered feelings for him. There are many times when I think he likes me more than a friend but many times where we are just friends. He is an essential person in my life, and I care for him deeply. A week ago we were face timing, and suddenly he asked me, one of our friends told me that I should be dating you? What do you think about it? Since of course, I do not want him to know the truth, I told him oh we are just friends nothing that goes beyond that. Yes, I realized that I was digging my hole. Then I called him a week later, deciding that I would tell him the truth about how I felt. I did not have the guts to do it, I repeatedly said, I don’t think that our friendship will go beyond friends. I said this twice! Yes, I do not know why I do this. Then he asked me if I ever liked him? I said I was confused and I was not sure. I did not want to tell him the truth because it did not seem like he liked me. He said he was just asking out of curiosity and that stopped me from telling the whole truth. I called him later on telling him that I lied and that I was open to the idea of the two of us but in the future because we are both so busy as of right now. We both are not looking for a relationship. He told me thank you for clarifying and don’t worry about the future because we don’t know since ts the future. He even told me about this girl who asked him out and he said yes. Then he said he didn’t feel right about it and said no the next day. I just don’t know anymore. I feel like it is time to give up because I just feel torn and I don’t know what to do. He’s such a serious person and I don’t know, I really don’t know.
Amanda says:
From what I’ve read the feelings are mutual, so you never know until you try. Right? However you are best friends and getting into a romantic relationship is very risky to your friendship so the question for you is; Are you willing to take the risk? Not to confuse you any further but know this “a person who risk nothing, does nothing, has nothing.”
David says:
I found out the hard way.me and my best friend have been friends for 30 years. I fell I love with her.but once we slept together.For no reason at all.she has the police tell me she wants nothing to with me or my family.when I try to find out why. Calling an texting.she put harssment charge’s on me.30yrs of friend ship gone because I loved my best friend.
Cherry says:
My best friend and I have known each other for about a year now, and the problem is I’ve liked him since I first saw him. He’s the kind of guy that teases you constantly, but is still a gentleman. A few months ago, I told him I had feelings for him, and he said he did too. The problem is, I’m the worrying type, and I would always talk to my friends about the situation. Though I never asked them to act upon the situation, they repeatedly nagged him about dating me. Over time, I completely fell in love with him. Until one day, after more repeated nagging, he told me he didn’t like me. I couldn’t help myself from thinking he was just tired of the pressure, but regardless, I cried myself to sleep that night. It’s been about 4 months, and I can’t seem to shake my feelings for him. He constantly teases me, but it’s always kindly, and he seems so happy when I’m keeping him company. I’m just worried that I’m picking up the wrong signals, and he just views us as close friends, or brother and sister. He’s my best friend and I’m scared that telling him how I feel will ruin our relationship. He’s the best person in the world and I just need help.
Anonymous says:
I have a best friend. Earlier v were just frndz . We haven’t seen each other since last 2 years as we r studying in different cities (a long distance friendship you can say) . One day suddenly he called n now v literally talk 2 hours or more in every phone call. He shares every single thing
(it may be best or the worst ) of present as well as his childhood memories, also flirt sometimes n i also do. He says “I miss u , I wish u were in my college or at least in same city “. He sometimes post our chat or call duration screenshot n caption it as “Long distance talk ……#loveyoubytheway “. But never confess his feelings in words on call. From some days I can’t stop thinking about him. While he is flirting, I get butterflies in my stomach. Am i falling in love?? Does he feel the same way??
Alyssa says:
SOOO My friend has a crush on my best friends girlfriend and I think he needs some advise. How do I be a good friend and help him get the girl of his dreams. My best friend gets jealous when his girlfriend hugs my friend and to be honest my best friends girlfriend is hurting my best friend and i really don’t know what to do.
Mary Ann A. Francisco says:
we are bestfriends for almost 8 years, and that 8 years when he had a girlfriend,i dont have a boyfriend and vice versa.
after several years passed,we are both single and then one day he told me that he want me to be his girlfriend,and i accept the offer he want. as of now, we are planning to get married. we all know that it is not easy for us, but we both love each other. Godbless everyone
Edward says:
I hope you did end up toghether and still are. for me love you have for friends is not a rollercoaster ride unless you both want it to be so you have to be 100 percent honest with one another and hold nothing back yet still respect how each of you feel even if it is disapointing to one of you, as its your original bond that matters most.
Shahriar says:
lucky you. i am also in love with my female best friend. our friendship is not that old but i love her. hope i also can tell my best friend about my feelings and become her life partner.
Katie says:
If you aren’t supposed to “rush” a relationship with your best friend, then how do you ever get one started? Someone has to confess their feelings at some point for something to ever get started. So at what point does that happen? This is a great article but I feel like it’s lacking this one piece of information.
Albert says:
I’ve known this girl for 5 years now and we’ve been very good friends but she recently started dating and I also fell in love with her. She always tell me to come around and when I go her boyfriend will be there it’s really getting me jealous
Sue says:
This is not just for friendships of the opposite sex… you can be a girl and love your girl best friend just as a boy can love his boy best friend.
Bailey Oram says:
I have been friends with a boy for about five years. Just the other day I started to have feelings for him. But I do not know what to say to him.
Anonymous sender says:
I always get a strong feeling when with her but it’lld ruin our friendship
Julia Oswald says:
Have u hinted at something more than a friendship? Something tells me she might be feeling the same thing as u
2365 says:
bro i confessed and said sorry for such a thought
False B says:
I’ve known this girl for 14 years. We’ve been best friends for about 11 or 12 of those 14. Its always been a little hard recently to tell if I’m in love with her or not. As a non-religious gay woman, sometimes its really hard to tell if I’m in love with a girl, or just like the idea of being in love with her. I have no priest or whatever to turn to, not that most would give advice to a gay person anyway. We sometimes “flirt” with each other, saying things like “I love you” or “you’re my soulmate” or, most recently “we are so getting married when we’re out of school and stuff”. It hurts when I hear that because I can’t tell whether it’s just mindless and silly or if she actually feels something.
Any advice?
Cienna says:
I known this guy for a year in a half and I’m in 7th grade I became best friends with him right when he moved here and a couple months later it was the winter dance and he started developing feelings for me and I didn’t know it for months after that And then I liked him all summer and now he’s moving, any advice?
Diana Macey says:
What an amazing article!
Balvin McDrewna Mavie says:
i have loved this article.i it is more than perfect
hamraz says:
the part that says do not rush into anything romantic is an excellent advise.. me and my best friend had that which we thought it will be ok even if we broke up, but it was not like that at all and it changed our friendship for a while
Dillon says:
I’m in love with my best friend and have been for a long while. I’ve tried to kill it because she is interested in other people or at the very least doesn’t see me in that way. She’s recently got with this guy and me and our other friends are supportive, but in private she’s told me about how she’s given sexual favors to this guy and it kills me inside. She’s not experienced in sex ed I don’t think she ever got a course on it so she’ll come to our group for advice on how to be safe and whatnot, but im this close to telling her to stop talking to me about this stuff, but I can’t think of a reason that isn’t just being honest and saying how I feel…
Raylin says:
I’m in love with my bestfriend, but he has a girlfriend…. I’m just so worried that he doesn’t feel the same…
Lauren says:
I’ve been in this situation before but if the guy is married engaged or in a relationship it’s best to end the friendship then having to do group hang outs all the time if you love someone that’s not really going to be fun when this happened I gave him subtle hints that if things continued the way they were going that I would no longer be his friend and then finally I had no choice but to end the friendship with him he wasn’t really a good friend even he made no effort any plans that were made he canceled last minute and I knew why he did that it’s not okay for anyone to do unless there’s an emergency now the friends I’ve got act like it is an emergency when I get stomach pain because they know what that means oh yeah they know what’s coming when my stomach hurts they are all good friends